Musing

I am wondering how you received my email in order to send me your blog? -GF

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Hey, Mark: I, too, hope your father's minor surgery was a success - you're lucky tohave a good relationship with him. Sincerely, aw

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Happy to hear all went well yesterday - have a good weekend., GR

magenta, blue & white ribbons stretch over the horizon, +6C breeze fills nostrils; I walked slowly, Gusta wanted to romp; ground covered, leaves all coloured - Gusta seems to think ‘if it’s moving in the breeze it must want to play’ which leads to romping which, this morning, led to limping a little after romping too hard in the deep grass, perhaps a twisted ankle . . . if dogs have ankles ?

I walked this morning with a tune in my head . . ‘ . . . the answers my friend, are blowin’ in the wind, the answers are blowing in the wind’ . . . there must be a lot of answers out there today . . .

my ‘Friday fatigued’ butt dragged to the toaster; smoked salmon cream cheese on a fresh toasted bagel washed down with fresh Columbian java gets my brain cells percolating & my body moving – my mind racing & fingers flying; if my body energized as quickly as my keyboard stroking fingers, I’d be an Olympian and leave romping every day

must get on with a busy day . . . and:
HK’s surgery yesterday went well; he should be coming home later today or tomorrow; I spent some time with him last evening – in good spirits & enjoying spectacular NW view from his room @ the Rockyview [many thanks to those who called or wrote .. he’s doing fine!]

leaves

romping

leaves

romping

I’m inspired – have a great weekend

Mark

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Hey Mark, I hope that your Dad's "minor" surgery went well and he is doing okay. Have a good day!, LW

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You and your Dad are in my prayers ! My Mom was to the doctor yesterday and discovered she has another lump in here breast .. has had a breast removed already .. she’s 81 will be 82 in Dec...Mom and i talk each day ..and if she doesnt answer the phone ....after few rings . .my mind starts to get into the what if's ..... heading over to her place .. all those what if's get the best of me .. wondering and praying all will be ok .. i know one day i may have to face the worst scenario...dreading it ..i don’t want to walk in her place one day and find her .Be safe, LL

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I agree with AR, I have only recently grasped all that really matters has been staring me in the face for what seems now to be a lifetime. How did this connection start?, JRL

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Just a quick note as I thought I would suggest a movie for a golfer to see. Went to a Disney movie, The Greatest Game Ever Played .... golf ...

hummmm!!!! Movie is a great feel good movie and as a golfer you might appreciate the golfing more than myself. Take care...hope you're dad doing well.. Take care, MR

moon obscured by cloud, early dark quiet calm stillness – silently we walked as Evergreen sleeps, a balmy +10C; an incredibly tranquil start to the day, but . . . my mind is somewhere else

yesterday was full, ending with an Oktoberfest [seems like it should be called Septemberfest !] function followed by our Toastmaster’s club’s first ever speech contest; lots of fun - I finished 2nd congrats to EC for winning & everyone else for competing admirably . . on to area contest next week, but . . . my mind is somewhere else

this day unfolds like many others weaving errands, appointments & touring buildings with a new client, meeting a new client, many calls, a lunch function, correspondence & reading . . . but . . . my mind is somewhere else

for most of my 54 years I’ve mostly taken my dad for granted – always there when I need him, always there when I don’t . . just always there; some days when I call him several times without catching him, without a returned call I find my wanders to the world of the ‘what if’s’; what if something happened, what if he fell & cannot reach the phone ? etc. . . but then he calls to tell his tales of where he’s been & what he’s been up to

I talk to him daily; we talk from as little as 30 seconds to as much as an hour, but I never take him for granted anymore . . . he knows I am busy & often have little time to connect; it’s something we both crave daily . . . both feel we’ve missed something when we don’t

my dad [HK] is having minor plumbing repairs done today; while any surgery is ‘not minor’ at 83, it is simply having some after-market parts replaced – he should be home by mid afternoon

gotta go - need to drive an old guy to the hospital; we spoke very briefly yesterday - we will talk on the way

Mark

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Hello Mark, Good and "not so good" days, makes you real to yourself and those around you. Find another marvel that in your life that usually does not get muchattention. It will make your day refreshing. Remember God loves you., HF

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Hello there… Umm… thanks, I guess. I don’t know how I got added to your mailer. I will ask you to continue for a week or so while I “taste the soup” and then, if you don’t mind, I’ll retain the option to, uh, opt out. I look forward to reading what you have to day, DW

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Mark: I am just "OK" too today. Hopefully I will be a bit more "on top ofthe world" tonight when we compete in the Table Topics contest. Cheers. AW

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To SM, Listen to your mother - talk to her about normal daily life. Be there forher in whatever way seems best for her. Whenever you do get a chance tovisit your mother, touch her. Hold her hand or give her a gentle shoulderrub. Looking back, I find that I avoided touching my mother when she was ill with cancer, and I regret that now that I am aware of it. AR

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Sandra from Idaho - Thanks for the insightful comments regarding love and acceptance of self. You go girl!, VBL

- 1C, dew in solid form everywhere as frost covers every lawn, roof & windshield; most still in shade waiting for sun & clear sky to warm it up - spectacular start to a pivotal day

it’s mid week & I’m at mid-pile of this week’s ‘to do’ pile, or mid mud-puddle

often I use long stories to make a point - often verbose & pointless - I dance around an issue, an idea, a point of view, obscuring it with words & tidbits from here & there

hard to simply say: ‘I am not happy today’ or ‘the struggle today is harder than I can handle’ or ‘I offended someone and I regret it’ - but sometimes that’s the truth I avoid, sometimes it’s the truth I have difficulty saying out loud with no one in the room

no one is in the room now just me, my computer screen, my dog & some great music playing in the background

today is not dark, but a little gloomy . . . as a friend coached me this morning: it’s OK to just be OK some days; too many reasons not to be ‘on top of the world’ amidst some reasons to be flyin’ high

sometimes we marvel at the kindness of strangers . . . old friends too . . thanks KT & GL

Mark

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Hi mark my heart goes out to any of the musers who are facing the terminal illness and death of a loved one. Having just gone through a year of this as my mum died and the dialogue with a sibling brother and knowing my own sons were thousands of miles away, it is all still a very open wound. What I do know is that grief is the price you pay for loving.... as simple as that. Cancer actually give you the chance to say all the things perhaps left unsaid in the past and to chose and give last presents with such thought.... so a blessing kinda in disguise, it must be so sad to deal with a sudden death and no goodbye time.... We all know we are gonna die, we all know our parents may die before us, so we are in part prepared, the shock is the knowing.... the legacy is in the loving that those loved ones gave us and we now pass on to our children and children’s children... may God bless all who are on this road at this time....SUZY, SF

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To SM, my condolences on the news you received of your mother. About 5years ago my father got the same news and although a shock to my mother,3 sisters and I, we took the time that we were given (6 - 12 months) asan opportunity to let Dad know just how much we loved him and what he meant to our lives. One sister in Africa, myself in BC, than Calgary and Mom and Dad in Ontario. Fortunately we had no hatchets to bury in our family. In the 12 months that Dad had, I was back to see them 5 times, seeing him more in that year than I did when we lived 1 1/2 hours away. Take the time over weekends to fly out to see your mom, credit cards, line of credit, whatever it takes. You will thank yourself inthe years to come. I am constantly thankful that I had all the time I did with him. All the best., SH

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the tibetan test? is it the tibetan eye chart? only wondering as years ago i found it and i believe it works. that was in my incarnation as an alternative health care provider. your friend's mother has cancer; projecting ourselves into the future always promotes fear, is there a way to have an action and/or a thought that is right here and now? i enjoyed the site you sent and saw your photo, is this most recent? your eyes seem very alive which is very attractive and your emotional aliveness , your energy level, and your creative-ness are very attractive as well. xoxo, MF

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Mark, the Cancer C fear word doesn't have to be the end. I have seen many miraculous things with friends and neighbors. I liked the quotes about writers! FA

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Sandra here in Idaho. I had an 'aha!" moment when I read your quote by Anna Quindlen....."searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be ME!" Love and acceptance of myself, warts and all, is not selfish and conceited; it is the most healthy, mature thing I can do. Then I am able to love out of fullness, not emptiness or illusion that the "right" man will rescue me and save me from singleness, as if that's a disease! I've been telling myself that I've GOT to have a love relationship in order to be happy. Really? Is that true? I'm going to take a deep breath, be loving to myself today. I am not a half of anything. I am a whole, complete woman, full and overflowing, growing, changing, responding, giving. Thanks Mark for giving a little daily reminder to jog us out of subtle lies that rob us of joy and celebration!! , SW

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RE: knock, knock: Back to work today after six days of travel and learning. I was getting somewhat "disappointed" in the ordinariness of your musing. Then I read this one...thanks for having the courage to knock on my door. Ordinary or profound, it is all human contact. AJB.

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Comforting to get to have "My musing",,,, and gratis compliments of Holiday Inn Express and free breakfast too. Just at the Northern California border,,,on to San Diego manana and a day anything but in my 'dark side sport trak' Just a lil wound up and getting mused before bed instead of 1st thing in the morning. thanx for a comfort of home! , TA

streets damp from rain overnight, Gusta found most puddles tasty & walkable; overcast, 2C, light breeze

1 of the original 8 musers is traipsing around Britain amongst VERY OLD things will not keep you young; for that you need someone younger & friskier - hope you packed one or find one; happy birthday MP,

apologies to JR & JB . . my incoherence when you called last night was product of fatigue, not of disinterest . . lets talk again soon; to anyone else who called last night & got an incoherent response, you got a wrong number

writers writing on writing inspires me sometimes, sometimes it makes me laugh – this morning I need both:
“I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me. ” - Anna Quindlen

“Writing became such a process of discovery that I couldn't wait to get to work in the morning: I wanted to know what I was going to say. “ - Sharon O’Brien

“Writing is a lot like sex. At first you do it because you like it. Then you find yourself doing it for a few close friends and people you like. But if you're any good at all...you end up doing it for money. ”
- unknown

“I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. ”- Mark Twain

to those who read, thanks
to those who write, bravo
to those who want to write, start
to those who need to write, welcome
to those who must write, empathy

must go . . I can’t wait to get to work !

Mark
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Mark - Please email me the Tibetan test. Thanks – VBL

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Thanks SF - I'll let you know when I delve into that next chapter. VBL

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Just reading your Sunday musing today. What a nice picture, relaxing yummy breakfast, reading the paper, happy puppy, pleasant day ahead; a feeling of contentment. .......... I got some rotten news this weekend which I had to pass on to my sister knowing how much it was going to distress her. Now she just called me at work from her workplace, so distraught, and here I am trying not to think about it so I can keep my 'act' together because the next few months, maybe a year, longer ??? is going to be so difficult. Our mother has cancer. The awful C word we all dread. And here I was thinking about cutting out one or two things on my plate to ease my stress level, but now I'm glad I have somthing to occupy my mind & time with. How do I deal with and talk about death with someone close? When she lives 10 hrs away? And I have a f/t job? And not sure what to do to help her? So many feelings to deal with. Feeling a little lost, but reading your Sunday words somehow created a little calm place in my mind. Have a great day Mark., SM

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Mark reflecting on the recent comments re a significant other in a life and how the mere thought of that is enough to raise hopes and dreams... Do we really need another to make us feel happier. can that 'other' be wrapped up in our spirituality , our pets or our own inner happiness and way of life.... After all our happiness depend upon primarily ourselves ... True happiness doesnt actually depend upon another human being does it ? although I think lots of folk have been programmed to think and act on that fact. All very interesting....................... SF

6C, sunrise & cloud mix beautifully, new home owners go about morning routine oblivious to four deer in their backyard . . . we enjoyed on their behalf . . .

too many self-help books talk of the onion being peeled, dissecting layers to explore what we, or someone else, is made of

we quest to know what formed them, why they are the way they are

I spent some quality time this weekend – with two new acquaintances of feminine gender; one clearly not right for me right now, the other has me curious . . . not sure of anything, but certain there might be onion peeling involved

“Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love, though I’d stepped in it a few times.” – Rita Rudner

my desk has three piles; things I thought I would do this weekend but didn’t, one labeled ‘Monday’, one is ‘my book stuff’ . . oh bother . . what to do first ?

Monday AM intake of information is always interesting; newspapers filled by ink & paper but little news, email from BB sent very early this morning saying ‘go to bed’ as he received a copy of FacilityCalgary on his blackberry @ 1 AM, a business lead from RB & a ‘knock knock’ response from SdV . .

my day awaits: problems to solve, clients to serve, much needed & overdue haircut, new adventure . . . perhaps - an opportunity worth exploring found its way to me this weekend which might change my writing life

stay tuned & watch what you step in

Mark

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Now's my chance to demonstrate why that university chose to award me a degree. The word for opportunity in German is Gelegenheit (fem.) and in French it'soccasion (fem.) All that study was not in vain. Liebe Gruesse et bisous from Shelagh xx, SK

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Answering the knock...Hello Mark, my sister AW got me onto your daily musings. And today, I think you would like a response, to let you know what kind of people are reading and enjoying your musings. I live in Edmonton, Millwoods actually, the same area where you were a couple of weeks ago. I too am a lover of dogs, I have 2. I enjoy your musings as they make me think beyond the mundane robotic daily routine. They make me want to grab all that I can in life. Just thought I would respond to your Knock!, SdV

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The weekend could have been frustrating. I met this wonderful woman lastTues and was suppose to see her Friday, then Saturday..... She was verybusy, a friend's wedding to get ready for then a vacation with her kidsto prep for. I guess I had 2 choices; be upset that I wasn't getting herattention or be chilled. She agreed to come over for dinner last nightand everything was perfect (I had the whole weekend to prepare!) Shearrived a bit stressed and left very relaxed, very glad she came. Shecalled me when she got home and told me that she was very glad she madethe time to come over and that one of the things she appreciated mostwas my patience and understanding with her this week. An excellentreminder for me not to paddle upstream, a little empathy and patiencewill pay dividends. Timing is everything and most times things don'thappen according to our own view of the clock! Tons to do at work thisweek but it is going to be very hard to get stressed out with this smileon my face! , EN

+2C, spectacular blue sky day unfolds again, light breeze – brisk walk/jog, my sleeping snoring furry footrest companion romping frenetically just minutes ago

no clue what to write

landscape description is easy – drying dying dead & shriveled evidence of another growing season tremble, then fall in the breeze to carpet the ground, earth to earth, dust to dust as they have for millennia upon millennia

inside – laundry basket overflows, sink full of dishes await dishwasher unload, desk piled high . . dining room table laden with newspaper - my Sunday New York Times actually arrived on Sunday - reading glasses & brimming coffee cup

description of thoughts, ideas & feelings challenges me more

sitting back, savoring coffee, watching the day go by out my window – thinking - daydreaming, pushing aside tomorrow & week of work ahead . . . staying connected in my mind as much as I can with this weekend feeling

Sunday morning coffee - time to ponder – not for long, too much opportunity beckons; opportunity, if that word has gender, must be feminine; it generates such lusty anticipation, curiosity, wonder

my drive to write every day, now more compulsion than desire; not habit, not trivial – necessary to my survival & well being yet some mornings I’m stuck, so unbelievable stuck - no place to start – fudging a little by telling stories of what I did the day before or what’s on today’s horizon; like saying ‘repeat the question please’ as a stall tactic

I always have thoughts, for the most part printable ones, but why would anyone want to know this or know that ? why not just put them down ?

yesterday Krista stopped by for a visit on her home to Lethbridge, great chat with SW, drive to Banff with JB, skipped Equinox party in lieu of great sleep; today, walked Gusta, ‘, bacon & scrambled cholesterol feast, quiet . . . writing time & an outing planned with PA . . I’ll enjoy the day & work later

telling everyone or just telling this page how much something meant to me seems sometimes way too trivial, sometimes far too private

song lyrics sent to me or a joke forwarded or a ‘call me why don’tcha’ note; each is someone’s fingertip touching mine, connecting two pulses – keyboard, nanoseconds & screens are but connection details

Mark

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Mark, Sandra here....Hey, when are we going to have that phone interview? I'm most likely leaving for three weeks on Monday. Got an email from the Red Cross Disaster Director, who said to enjoy the last 'normal' weekend I'll have in quite a while!, SW

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Never made it to the Buddhist weekend. Turns out my younger son XXXX - who has been struggling emotionally -- came home very sick. So I've been a nurser instead of a searcher these past few days. So then, I was hoping to get up to the cabin for a few days of silence, but it seems that will have to be put on hold as well, to see if he's going to respond to treatment at home or have to be hospitalized. Sigh. Oh well. My path and insight opportunities will still be there I'm sure. And perhaps the lesson is in the being, not the going. No one ever said that Zen was a neat package. The hug's coming right back atcha. , PM

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This is a good one.............knock, knock..............I like what the other AS had to say in his/her reply today........sounds like me. I just tend to get alittle more of a wall with each hurt. I think we all do. I finally got the Tibetan Test and it was one that I had done several times before. Crazy thing about it is this......the people probably change on our answers........but do we look at it and wonder if our priorities are in the correct order and are we willing to change anything in our thought process? Or can we change, or are these things so engrained in us that we always remain at their mercy? Just a thought...........the other AS from OK

golden retriever must be the Gaelic term for ‘garbage disposal’ - my slightly sick pup got rid of her problem & friskiness resumed; we walked/galloped through gold & orange scenery like a slow motion movie . . at 0C, no frost, no warmth . . just brilliant blue, chill & stillness

knock, knock . . who’s there ?

I am trying to be more observant of opportunity; it resides in each chance meeting, unexpected phone call [though I’m leaving wrong numbers alone!], tangential tentacle of a conversation

trying to detect nuances of warmth – is it a handshake & ‘just a mechanical gesture’ ?

I try to detect more ‘genuine character’ in people I meet – sometimes pressing too soon too deeply with intrusive questions

I have nearly 6 billion people left to meet and only 342,184 hours left to do it, so . . . knock, knock

I want to be the knocker, the door & the frame . . grabbing opportunity when it knocks; not letting go until I am clear it is not for me – moving on swiftly if it is not – focusing on the great opportunities when I am certain . . . not letting go of it

starting something new – anything – when ‘unfinished business’ sits piled everywhere is something I often question; I know starting new initiatives all the time is a business constant – why not the same with people ?

is it real, is it worth it, can I win ?, long my mantra in business, is worthy of being applied more universally in my life

with this email, I’m knocking on 4,701 doors this morning . . many of you are home; each of you can teach me many things . . .

anybody there ? . . . knock, knock
Mark

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please pass this on to VBT: Your question: "Has anyone out there been able to take away the romantic ingredient and continue as a confidante and best friend?" Yes, Mark has perfected this scenario., AW

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Nice follow up to the Organic talk on Wednesday... Not sure how I will make it to upcoming Toastmaster meetings, Mark.... because I live in the NW and it is a bit tough to get there.... UNLESS . . .Do you know whether there are any others in the Toastmasters gang who live NW/Varisity area with whom I could arrange to carpool???? Thanks for any follow p, Fay I enjoy your ponderings and they have helped me...., FA

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Hi Mark, Nice to hear from you...have returned to the Homeland after a three year posting in Mexico. Recently got married to a wonderful Mexican lady too! Please use the following e-mail address XXXXX.com Take care, RB

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Mark, You regularly find interesting thoughts or topics to muse about. I thought I would pass along another one to you. There has been a lot of discussion about the Prosperity Dividends. We sent this e-mail out to a number of colleagues to get them thinking about what to do with the cheque.... give them something to muse about., BS [Brad sent me a large piece on soliciting Albertans to donate their Prosperity Dividend cheque to charity – send me a note if you want a copy]

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Mark for VBL.... a relationship is about having your needs met fully and well and being to give that too to your partner ...AT THE SAME LEVEL, the bottom line being.. IS IT WORTH IT ? When a partner choses not to want to be physically intimate any longer, where are his needs being met ? and what do you do with yours meanwhile ? The balance here has changed, draw the line and move on. the phrase having your cake and eating it too comes to mind..in respect of him..... You deserve a full rounded well balanced man who can love you as you would love him.. Good luck in the next chapter of finding that... , SF

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Mark, Free thought is probably more rampant than you and I may think, just not verbalized, we are far too conservative in our actions to take the risk. I challenge all to be risk takers with our truths. As well, I think that one can never give up on loveand romance, we all have a great capacity to give love and sometimes we will get back small doses. We also have a capacity for loving more that once or more than one. It is our choice to continually love or be bitter with the experiences in our past.I enjoy and continue the quest., AS

-1C will hasten the pace of leaves falling – view through the trees improves daily; Gusta found frost/ice on sprinklered lawns fascinating

when I see little kids get together – as we all did once – they play without toys, they invent games, they find ways to communicate & accomplish things without software, without experience, without limitations; just uninhibited free thought

papers, TV & conversation rife with panic over oil prices, devastation of hurricanes & strife close to home makes the tsunami seem like a distant memory; both in time & magnitude . . though likely not

are we living in a better world today or one headed for the scrap-heap; will our acute dependency on increasingly expensive oil & gas make us smarter about conservation, alternative fuels & just plain alternative ways to live, work & play ?

I don’t mean to make light of anyone’s plight [Joe, I hope your family is safe], but seeing evacuations & rescues on TV underscores in such a huge way that we live in a world of herd mentality; to be part of a herd . . to be herded . . envelopes us; we ALL do it in so many ways we lose sight of where the world of marketing ends & our rights to choose & think for ourselves begins

having original or free thought is tough; we are bombarded by media – overwhelmed actually as we are ‘spun’ like fine yarn by political & media machines

we live in a world that should be more about free thinking & open exchange of ideas than whether we have the CORRECT backpack, sixpack or mascara

what we have, it seems to me, is what we’ve paid for:

The herd follows Microsoft; while free thinkers go linux
The herd drive SUV’s; free thinkers bike & kayak & buy hybrids
The herd eat fast food; free thinkers buy organic & grow things
The herd believe what they read & watch; free thinkers talk to people & are usually found on the front lines of something

in a world where free thought should be everyone’s daily right, it would be nice to see some

certainly while thought is free, acting on thoughts is not necessarily inexpensive

as yourself this: how much free thinking did you do yesterday ? . . the day before ? the day before that ?

imagine how easily we could change the meaning of TGIF with a few uninhibited free thoughts

imagine, instead of millions spent on advertising - if merchants actually had knowledgeable sales staff to offer product knowledge & make an effort to ‘sell me’ – what a refreshing change that might be

if you have a free thought every day, good for you; then try having 2

if not, start with 1

Mark

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Hi, Mark. I'm off to Italy for a couple of weeks so ask that you please suspend me from your circulation list. Thanks!, RT

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Hi Mark Wondering if you could forward to me, too, this Tibetan dealie of which youspeak. Suggestion...if you're getting lots of requests, you might want to just put it up on the blog? Also, a couple thoughts on web project...we should chat., JS

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I recently attended a conference (in my favourite place in the world on the Wet Coast) and one of the speakers addressed listening. She told a cute story that occurred with her own 5 year old son. She was busy preparing dinner and he repeatedly said "Mommy!". Each time she would say "Yes, Michael" continuing to work on the dinner preparations. Finally, Michael said "Mommy, listen to me!" to which she replied "I am listening". His answer was "Mommy, listen with your eyes!". What a profound statement. This message is so true... if we are not looking at the person with sincere interest it certainly appears at least that we are not truly listening., BM

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OK, I'm curious, pass that Tibetan challenge along, although I'm not crazy about puzzles I can't solve in 10 seconds. I think you should have a dog picture day, where we all send in pictures of our dogs, and you get to pass them along to the rest of us. I didn't realize it was the first day of fall. How depressing., SB

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Hi Mark, Could you please send me the Tibetan Challenge as well? I began receiving your daily inspirations two weeks ago. Now it has become part of my daily reflections every morning before I start working. Thank you so much., VL

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Good morning Mark. Thanks for the laugh re 'lottery win'. And I, too, am wondering if you might send me the Tibetan Challenge? Tks in advance, KJ

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Dear Mark , I can't open the file either. I would have to download and pay for the power point program so if any one else got it open I'd appreciate a copy as well. and speaking of empty nesters MY SON JUST MOVED OUT!!!!!! After a lifetime of raising a large family and my Mothers children as well.. I am an empty nester!!!! HOORAY!!! The silly thing is he actually called amazed that I wasn't mad :) Life is a wonderful thing, Biggest Hugs, AI
BTW, on QVC (the shopping channel on cable), we have an hour next week, yes this is bragging I am proud. :)

Mark - I am sorry that your sweet summer romance did not appear. I wished for a fall romance last year. I found what I thought was the love of my life. We shared four intimate and loving seasons together. I can also honestly say that we also grew to be each others best friends. He requested last night that we change the direction of our relationship but remain in contact daily as very close friends. I am heart broken. Has anyone out there been able to take away the romantic ingredient and continue as a confidant and best friend? I feel this is possible if you both equallyagree to end the relationship as it was. I don't feel this can work if one is hoping for more. What do fellow musers feel? VBL

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Finally, yes a comment from the Fort. Many things seem to be about location and timing, not just real estate - being in a certain place at a certain time often impacts our lives in both large and small ways. And it's the little ways that in the end sometimes make the biggest difference. A book from a friend that gives a new path or inspiration, a smile, a phrase or a small act that can change things forever. And while eyes and ears open is important, without an open heart through which to view and hear, we may not realize the real opportunities about location, location, location and timing, timing timing...., SC

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Dear Mark: I love to read your muse reflection of life as they truly are applicable toeveryone. Mark I have been married for over 35 years and it is only my opinion but I think you are looking at this in the wrong direction. Perhaps if you found enjoyable company doing what you want to do a friendship would evolve and from that who knows. Remember when you were young and foolish and your mother would say little steps. Success is made up of little steps and sometimes you may find yourself going backwards but that is okay too as you have pointed out previously that mistakes are a positive factor in ones life as you are constantly learning and stepping forward from them. Just someone who has a little Ann Landers advice to give. Take it or leave it. Keep your insights going as they have a tendency to ground people as to where they should be reflecting on life everyday. Thanks, SM

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Sunny & warm in Vancouver today, hoping you're well. Was wondering if you're still planning a publication? DB, in-joying life, out on the coast

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Mark: I'm back up in Calgary on business this week from Houston ... not able to return due to the incoming Huricane Rita ... my family is evacuating as we speak, albeit at a snails pace. Please keep thoughts of safety for not only my family, but friends and relatives who will undoubtably be affected by the storm. I hope to return to Houston and reunite with my family on Sunday ... provided that there is infrastructure to return too .... to my wife, daughter and dog, my prayers are with you., JWT

first day of fall, 3C, 5 deer grazing in field next door under overcast skies; our walk short, uneventful

new season starts – summer ‘tis gone overnight; time to focus on comfort foods & heavy sweaters

the ‘sweet summer romance’ I wished for did not appear

will a new season bring forward extraordinary experience to savour ?

eyes & ears are open

perhaps I’ve just met her or maybe she’s someone I’ve known a while; around the next corner, or just up the road or over a mountain range she waits; somewhere some empty nested lovely who golfs might welcome me & my dog with open arms - or I might win the lottery; all things my friends are possible

in my business it’s location, location, location & timing, timing, timing

when opportunity knocks, will I answer ?

when it knocks for you, will you ?

Mark

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Mark, There is a saying...........God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth! We should all listen more. Could you ask if there is anyone out there that had to convert the Tibetan Test file with success and could they forward it on to me.......my curiosity is running wild with this thing, but my pc is so messed up I can't get it to convert or open in anyway. Also, my heart goes out to those being faced with letting their loved ones (pets) go. I had to do that 2 years ago after having her nearly 13 years. She was the best dog ever.........last year we added Pearl to the family and she is the smartest, yet ornery-est, dog I have ever seen., AS

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Thank-you that was very well put Mark, Another Mark, MH

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Mark, could you please send me the Tibetan Challenge? I'm very curious. Thanks., BS

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So the expression goes "Time spent on recce (reconnaissance) seldom wasted" My priority for yesterday was finding the perfect campfire spot inside the city. All was perfect! We had a great picnic, rack of lamb over an open fire, a bottle of wine and some great conversation. The fire department showed up but we talked and they realized that they had no jurisdiction! Federal waterway. I was polite, they left and we carried on our date. We both had a great time and I have a new friend and a new reason to smile. I guess I had my priorities right yesterday because last night I will remember forever and I think so will she., EN

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One indeed should practice what one preaches, good manners are still practiced by some people, including listening to the other person., anon

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Hi Mark - I also don't know how this address was added to your 4500 list, Media connection again? As this address gets a lot of spam your "Musing" was immediately deleted day after day after day until one day I stopped to read a little and of course was hooked like a lot of others I presume. Your thoughts are of my city too and it's good to hear of the love someone else has for this great part of the world and of the population who will all be $400 richer very soon. Can't get any better than that. I also request a picture of the famous Gusta who gets you out and about every morning. Never had a dog, am one of those crazy cat lovers but admire the special relationships dogs and their owners have. JGB

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Dear Mark: As much as I enjoy every musing, please cancel my inspirations during my holiday time. I will reconnect. Thanks, JE

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Thanks Mark. I found the Tibetan test to be very interesting. Normally, I do not pass these types of e-mails along, but I will be sharing this one with the appropriate number of friends. Take care, BS

clear star-lit sky lit our way, the neighbourhood slept, we walked into a shrill westerly wind, 1C; time to dig out the gloves

women know how to listen, men don’t do that as well

we want to help . . so much so sometimes that we stop listening & start talking so intently that we stop listening; proving we are more interested in being seen as a helper with great ideas than to be seen as an empathetic listener – just a friend who cares to listen because often that is what someone needs most from us; not someone to solve their problem, but a caring someone to listen

I’m becoming a better listener, I’m trying to be a better giver

not that I have much to give in terms of money or influence – but a better giver in terms of giving effort to be helpful to somebody who needs or wants my help

sometimes the best gift we can give is to take a few minutes to listen after uttering the words ‘can you tell me about that ?’

sometimes it is to write a cheque – but more often I can give a lot more value by focusing for a few minutes on the person I am listening to – reminding myself the listening is about them, not about me

I’m no rocket-surgeon [thanks KC . . I love that word!], but I mean giving some ‘I want to listen to you’ effort away every day costs me nothing but the investment of a few words of caring & a few minutes of listening is well worth it

call someone you care about – friend, family member, customer – tell them ‘may I listen to you for a few minutes’ as opposed to ‘may I talk to you for a few minutes?’

so often I connect with people because I have something I want to tell them; lately I’ve been trying harder to shift that . . connecting with people . . . giving them an opportunity to tell me something

I need to listen better & do it more often

can I listen to you ? will you talk to me ? can I help ?

Mark

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Mark, could you please send me the Tibetan Challenge? , NI

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Mark, please pass along to JB. I lost my little black friend of 18 years just 18 days ago and know exactly what you're faced with. It is indeed a painful decision and one only you can make. The days before were excruciating for me but in the end I had to let her go...yes time heals and memories help but, as with the loss of all loved ones, it's hard to find a place to put the ache. Having had a beautiful relationship is a gift - one I know you're thankful for. Take care., GR

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I too have a mountain of priorities to get through today but we need to remember that the fact we call them priorities inherently implies that we will never get to some things. Maybe why I'm a list guy, it is therapeutic to write down everything that is bouncing around your head, your to do list, so that you can consciously decide what you're never going to do. The work will get done eventually, if it is important. Tonight however I have a date and she wants to sit by a fire so my priority today was finding a place to do that. Stopped by the river on the way to work, a little place I go by on my evening bike rides, and checked out this secluded little island. Perfect! I can relax the rest of the day knowing that the important things for the day are already done! A week from now, a year from now I'll remember the picnic date but I won't be able to tell you what I cleared off of my desk. Maybe that's a better way of assigning priorities, by how long we're likely to remember what we accomplished. Have a great day., EN

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I need a picture of Gusta! I have 3 wonderful rescued dogs - Cramer is 10; Suzie is about 4, we think; and Cupcake is about 2; and my daughter lives across the street and has Sheba (about 7); Princess (probably about 3); Speedy and Natalie, from the same litter, about 8 weeks. We are all nuts, including the two grandchildren, but love dogs and cats, too. Have 3 cats in the menagerie, who are great; my husband never particularly liked cats - always a dog person - but these cats figured that out right away, and he is the only one they like to pick them up, so he is a goner now. They come to see him in the morning when he opens the automatic garage door. It's not like we live on a farm, either! We live in tract-type houses in the beautiful area of Palm Springs,California. We definitely need a ranch! LBK

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Hi Mark, I'm not sure how I was added to your email list too. Could you please remove this email address and use XXXXXX.com please? Thanks, VL

when I walked last light it struck me how quickly spots of yellow here & orange there gave way to a flourish of fall colour; 4C this morning, FRESH, cloudy with sunny breaks – dog romps;

I slept so soundly . . feeling great but moving slow & already several calls interrupted this + an email from someone wondering where their musing is

good discussion last night; notwithstanding smart people each using words of clear meaning – left each of us thinking we were communicating effectively; then realizing validation the other person ‘gets our meaning’ was absent . . .

is that it ? . . is confirming someone understands our message as important as the message ?

maybe caring to confirm is the key ?

or, an indicator of how much priority we attach to it

I did a policy development & planning workshop for a new organization where I was a board member; our facilitator gave us an imaginary dollar to spend, the rule being we could spend no more than 50 cents on any one priority, no less than 5 cents on anything; the result was that many things just were not important enough to spend anything on it

today would be a good day to use that technique with the mountain [ok, maybe a foothill] on my desk . . how many priorities can I truly effectively handle in one 1 day ? . .

spoke to both KT & SC yesterday; both out of touch too long - nice to catch up

Mark

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Good morning, Mark. It was only 6 degrees in north Calgary this morning. You southerners get all the breaks! Interesting comment on the Tibetan challenge questions. My answers were also unexpected and need some thinking..... Cheers for today. AW
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Hi Mark. It was nice chatting with you last week and as per our talk,I'm writing to see if you'd like to get out for a little lunch in the next while. Also, would you mind sending me the Tibetan challenge you were referring to? Let me know about lunch. Thanks, JH

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do i know u?? please enlighten me. thank you, HJ

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BTW your musings are more enjoyable now than ever. The brevity is critical because folks think they do not have the time to read non-core stuff never mind reflect. Your work makes me do both. Thanks., KC

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I've been enjoying your musings lately. They seem fresh and open. Thanks, PM

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Thanks for your reply and I am very grateful knowing you wanted to help me, Henny, HdJ

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Hi, I'm not sure how I was added to this email list but enjoy it. Could you please remove this email address and use xxx@yyy.com Thanks, AC

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Your references to Gusta are a bittersweet read for me...you are experiencing with Gusta the beginnings while I am coming to the end of a relationship that has sustained , comforted, and healed. Each day brings us closer to what I dread....the decision to let her go...to free her. I watch, I agonize, I rationalize. I have had one more day and maybe tomorrow will be a good day too. I remember when we would go walking along the country road behind our home by the lake and she would run ahead and then look back to see where I was, and run smack into a tree, shake it off, and run on down the road., JB

a balmy 13C was a surprise as streetlight, little skips of cloud in the pre-dawn as starlight & moonlight lit the way – Gusta wildly crashing through the brush in the dark just from memory

monday morning’s like that empty moonlit sky, it’s like this blank page – waiting for some activity to give it form, to define it – to set the tone for a day & week ahead - my brain is at one moment both completely blank & at the same time running fast in many directions; my desk is piled with the ambitions of a week’s work I’ll try to fit into this 1 day, I’ll fail to do that as always but right now I have no idea what I won’t get done today

an interesting Tibetan challenge came my way yesterday [thanks BB], I’ve sent it on to a few people; its 4 simple questions revealed some interesting things to think about – mine were unexpected, instructive & will need some thinking about

yesterday’s trip to Millarville for an Equinox Party could not have been better; CB joined me for a great afternoon & evening – great to catch up; met some old friends & met some new ones too . . learned a little, people watching was fun

. . must go meet a new client

Mark

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Thank you for adding me to your marvellous musings… Have been ambling through your musings on your blog…how interesting it is that, yes, we all share so many of the same joys, needs and at times ‘sadnesses’…how life in this world of incessant drive for productivity has tended to isolate people instead to bringing them together. About 13 years ago I had a – to use a cliché – life changing moment – an all too near visit to the other side due to innocently eating lunch! How this woke me up to the joys of living a simple uncomplicated life…it is friendships that count and the beauty in the nature of the world around us., FN

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Hi again, Thank you for the sweet words. Time to repay those that have been offered to me. How can I reach "Henny"? , LR

5C, a spectacular duplicate of yesterday only quieter; stillness broken by Gusta’s gait & panting . . owner lurching in tow

I wonder, as we [presuming most of us do] profess to be open, accepting, giving, caring, receptive, nuturing . . blather blather blather; why then, do we build walls to keep things in or out ?; why do we espouse those qualities, seek those qualities in others yet rarely do we build a bridge ?

that ‘bridge over troubled water’ an S&G mantra plays in my head

how often do most of us say ‘if you ever need anything, give me a call’ or ‘I’m there for you buddy’ ??

two things happen; when they/we/anyone needs help they aren’t going to call . . . or cry out for help

the other – is that when we know someone is in need; whether that need is some money, a hug, a kind word, some labour or a favour . . . we sit on our hands and our mouth; I know I do more than I care to admit

I’ve been doing that for a couple of days – sitting on a note from Henny; a long time muser from Holland who writes rarely – she wrote:

“It been quiet a long time ago since I wrote to you. I never wrote you that I needed help because of my big financially problems. Now I need some help badly. No money, no one will help me, can’t pay my bills anymore. Soon they will kick me and kids out of the house. Please help me if you can or if there anybody else will help me let them contact me on this address. Sorry for disturbing you. Henny”

I’m not in a position right now to help a lot, but I’m going to help a little; if you can help a little, write to me & I’ll pass on HdJ’s contact info

this Terry Fox Run weekend – I’ve been reflecting on several things; from my first run in a fundraising event [Miles For Millions 1967,68,69] . . to those friends & friend of friends & musers who have been affected by the insidious demon called cancer; of my dad’s prostate cancer experiences, of NC’s swift defeat of the demon or Lauren’s:

to all . . isn’t Lauren’s [LR] note wonderful; in less than 2 years to beat down a leukemia diagnosis with green tea, hard work & a strength of character we can all envy . . . I’m so glad she’s going to be around a long while to be my friend

some days I write lots but get little feedback, other times I write just a little & receive a ton of response; I’ve tried to understand why this is . . . whatever . . . just so great to have these wonderful responses

tempus fugit . . must work now . . bye

Mark

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I would love to see a picture of Gusta. I have wanted to get a dog for a while but my work hours and business travel prohibit this step. I enjoy the tidbits of her exploits! Thanks Regards, MW

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Mark, Sandra here in Coeur d'Alene. Just read two days of your musings....hmmm. A theme of older women, (I'm over 50), and the need to be touched, really resonates with me. And, how true that when we have something all the time we barely notice it's presence, but when we don't, we can think of little else! After my divorce four years ago, I became painfully aware of the absence of daily touch. All my adult life I had four children, a husband, and always a delightful dog or two, and yes, sometimes cats....to nuzzle, pet, snuggle, rub, laugh at and with, jump, walk with, tease, and otherwise companion with. In my counseling practice I often gave gentle touch and hugs to my patients. My, how things have changed! I'm reminded of the story about the lonely woman who was held up by a robber who demanded all her money. She said she had no money, but if he would frisk her again all over, she'd write him a big check! Yesterday I finished my Red Cross training, and am waiting to be deployed to the Hurricane zone any day now. Some of the wonderful volunteers were chatting during a break, and we were sharing a bit about our personal journey to decide to give three weeks of our time. I glibly said that at this stage of my life I have no dependents of any kind, human or animal; no husband, kids are grown, no dogs or cats....and what a wonderful thing to be so free and unencumbered! Indeed I have the opportunity to go anywhere in the world, and do things most people can't, due to family or work responsibilities. Later, as I made the hour drive back to Idaho, I heard a love song on the radio, that brought bittersweet tears and deep yearning ache in my heart for what I lost, and what I am longing for. I agree with your reader who says she is ready for her world to be happy! Being content in my present state, loving what IS, may be the only present reality of perception that brings peace. I love the Buddhist practice of being in the now. But, hypocritically, I'm not a good student, and vacillate wildly, from either celebrating singleness, or jealously watching lovers holding hands, exchanging touch and knowing gazes. Mark, as a single, 'older' guy', you express what many of us singles struggle with....maybe you could use a small segment of your musings to be a mini-match maker. Out of several thousand readers, surely there must be potential matches. Guarding confidentiality may be too great a task, and too burdensome, but it's just a thought. No hurt feelings if you shoot that down! (smile!), SW

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Literal translation for our english word, touch. I think you need a lil toque feminina. Treated myself to a massage and had a conversation about having had the same massage therapist for 11 years and he was out of town, turns out one of his students is now working in his office and was nervous to "touch" me after his "expert" touch. I do hope I eliviated any such thoughts by telling her she was only ever a friend and would enjoy her touch. Guess we both had touching thoughts. I am on my return adventura to Puerta Vallarta,sold my house,,,,going to drive my truck and start a course Oct 4th. In the midst of editing stuff to put into storage. It is certainly not about the stuff, don't care if I ever see a lot of it again. Life sure changes; decided change is something we can all be certain of, always. So looking forward to people in Mexico, however the one thing I hope not to have affect me is the poverty level and I wonder of the unknowns in my journey of the truths I will find in the dealings and with whom and their realities? Am I making sense? I know I have wanted to step out of my comfort zone and now I am not wondering why,,,just feeling a lil apprehensive cuz it feels a lil more permanent this trip. No Canadian dirt left I guess is why. Have to get working on the Spanish. Sinceramente, TS
write when you need that PV golf trip!

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Mark re reading your words re touching and dogs it brought to mind the utter complete lack of betrayal in any pet dog I have owned. Far far more loyal than any lover.....or friend or partner.
I note too that couples can be perceived as sharing intimacies but I now know that they too share disagreements and indifferences and the absence of shared passion, tenderness and the ability to crush hopes and dreams with just the raise of an eyebrow and that is something I no longer need in my sharing dialogue..or behaviour... Those of us who own pets that are adored amd adored by.... are the lucky ones, they bring so much to our lives and ask so little, its like being dusted by paradise sharing time and space with endearment. Have a blissful sunday......, SF

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Hi Mark, Since it's been a while, thought I'd drop you a line to let you know what's going on... What a spectacular first week of school we had! The best ever in my career...calm, organized, constructive, and thankfully devoid of drama and tears. We have truly left the past behind and begun to rebuild the school and its reputation. We have a wonderful constellation of families this year. I'm looking forward to a productive and exciting term. Mark is turning some corners too; his "adopted daughter" has moved away to attend college and a good friend of his is getting divorced, after what he had previously thought of as a long and fruitful marriage. I think his feeling of loss is something of a surprise to him. We have spent many hours in middle-of-the-night whispered conversations, talking about the impact of those changing relationships on our own. Seems, no matter how violently the world swirls around us, we are safely cocooned against harm. How sweet and comforting it is to wake in the morning, climb out of bed, kiss his face, and gently pull the covers back over my sleeping husband. And a final coupla' words about my cancer diagnosis: my hem/onc docs say that I need to check in with them only twice a year. So, in 19 months, I have gone from a diagnosis with a five year life expectancy to...a lifetime. Kisses to you and Gusta, LR

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Gusta is beautiful! You should be very proud., MW

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Thank you for your daily musings, the fact that I enjoy them tells me something about myself that I didn't know. I feel somewhat guilty that I get to enjoy your writings but do not contribute, however my mundane writing style could never compete. However ... since you were sharing quotes I decided to share my favorite James Dean quote, "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today". Its such a simple quote but empowers me to live my life, my way! I think you live your life your way too ... btw take your own advice, generally women age better than us guys. Keep smiling! KD

frost on roof tops & car windows drenched in condensation; the wet grass makes for a happy dog; 2C in brilliant sunshine . . . Saturday morning quiet everywhere

touch . . . a simple word . . .an online dictionary I searched had 42 meanings; touch, touching someone, being touched; these are but words on a page unless you think about them . . . then they acquire meaning; yet I expect to many, they are meaningless

to most of us though, I think, they describe a trough

a trough of feelings, of energy - to feed upon, the satisfaction of a deep yearning

the need to touch & to be touched

someone described it as something, the absence of which, hurts deeply when witnessed in others, an ache deep inside because she did not have that

basic human need, so strong

we see it everywhere & don’t notice

perhaps like many things we don’t think about much when we have them; but when we don’t we can think of little else

some people say ‘why did you get a dog?’; and while there are many answers to that, the one that means the most is that of ‘a companion, to cozy up to, to hold, stroke, nuzzle, to wrestle with’ . . .

a need we all have, satisfied best by a companion of the opposite gender, but then again, dogs don’t push back on things you say !

then again, the difference between a human companion & a dog is that my dog has no need for me to say anything; she is happy just to sleep near me, as she is now

I had a pleasant evening with a new old friend JG, or is that old new friend ? in any event, lots to talk about

lunch today with my dad & some writing; newsletter writing tomorrow + a trip out to Millarville for a Fall Equinox party – CB’s my date so we’ll have the first time to really catch up since Christmas . . way too long to not see good friends

on query about Gusta’s picture: I sent it only to a list of people who had previously expressed interest – if someone wants a picture, just send me a note & I will send it along

it seems some days I write a lot & get little response; some days I write less begetting lots of feedback ; I’ve tried to figure this out without success – just want to say thank you to those of you who do write, I really appreciate the feedback

Mark

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Mark, Your musing today is good for my soul. In having yet another failed relationship, which actually brought me geographically close to you last month, your words of compromise and mature women give me something to hold on to on this hard to bare morning. It is hard for me to understand all the complexities of the human nature, why we say the things we do and what realities those thoughts spilled out of our mouths bring. I suppose it is fundamental that we just love, life gives and takes. Are we meant to learn something from each loss, each failure .... ???? I guess we should just be grateful for the joys we do receive. Personally, I am ready for my world to be happy, with a man that knows what he wants and how to love. Yet, I fear that when that man does walk into my life I will not recognize it because of fear itself. Thanks Mark! Have a good day. Oh yeah, I noticed you have another AS .......well, they might need another handle as I was here first!! I think!!! With 4600 in your community now, it was bound to happen! , AS

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Mark, just out of curiosity, at 47, into which category do I fall? Younger or older?. LR

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Thanks for the pic of Gusta. She is growing up to be a very pretty young lady indeed!!! HS

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So where's this pic of Gusta everybody's talking about? How come I didn't get it? I feel left out. :( , SM

Great musings! I checked your blog for Gusta's photo. Is it there? mc

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How about this from the Dalai Lama's instructions for life; " Remember that not getting what you want (what you think you want) is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck" and " When you lose, don't lose the lesson" Just started getting your emails and I enjoy them. Thanks, EN

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Hi, So Oedipus likes a bit of old strudel eh? Surely there must be sources of analogy to describe women other than confectionary (Viz. "Arm candy"). I'm not sure if I want to be consumed, certainly not as a snack. I think you should open the floor on this one and see if other musers can find suitable comparisons. Ripening nicely meanwhile, Shelagh, SK

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How's it going Marky Mark. Unfortunately (or fortunately - who knows) the Edmonton man is gonzo. I have to say that I take exception to the quote by Capon. As an "older woman", and I'm assuming he means over 50, my crust and filling are still a force to be reckoned with! It's not only been nice to read your musings on a daily basis, but to know that I can always depend on a little visit from you every day. Keep up the good work Mark., TJ

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Hey hey fellow dog lover... attached one pic of arnie darling the angel I live with, he is 10 years old. was called arnie by the owners as he was the tough guy in the litter.. and I do have a fondness for tough guys ..hehe! but of course he has a heart of gold and the unconditional love is sublime.... Also a latest pic of Moi. taken as I was about to go out for dinner... Hope all is well with you Mark...I am just back from a short break in Pitlochry total bliss and majestic scottish countryside to frame every single experience of the weekend. Hey Mark there is an old scottish saying..... THE OLDER THE FIDDLE , THE BETTER THE TUNE . Methinks there is a lot of truth in the words......! Well as one fast approaching my sixth decade I firmly believe in the words...!!Age is immaterial its the person that matters in all interaction. The combination of mind and body can be lethal at any age particularly if the levels of intelligence and physical attractiveness are in harmony.! Ciao SUZY X, SF

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Morning Mark! I apologize - I was feeling really sorry for myself last night, and of course, thought of you. You always make me feel better. Anyway, I'm feeling like my old self again this morning. (Did I say old?) I wish I could visit but have no time off or for that matter, no money, to travel right now. But I'll keep you posted when and if I ever win the lottery. Take care my "friend". It's so nice to know you're just around the corner., TJ

5C, overnight drizzle continues, our walk quiet & gloomy under low hanging cloud

I found a couple of really great quotes . . . spectacular in themselves, intriguing when you consider their sources:

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." - Janis Joplin

“Older women are like aging strudels - the crust may not be so lovely, but the filling has come at last into its own. ” - Robert Farrar Capon

[I never heard of Capon; Google helped me learn he is a writer & former priest who loves to cook – he has woven food into much of his writing . . including several cook books]

I’ve played with kids my own age, I’ve dabbled with youngsters, I’ve ogled nubile arm candy – but my most memorable experiences with the fairer sex has been with older women; intense intriguing relationships all; most of my prospecting in recent years has been – spectacularly without success – with younger women

time, perhaps, to once again consider ‘women of a certain age’

hhmmm

Mark

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love your words Mark; I too love and respect the 'sleeping giants' thanks for sharing JAF

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Buon Giorn. Thanks for remembering my birthday ... I am in Italy .. Montalcino is the name of the hilltop (fortress) town. Its been great so far .. Roma, Florence, Venice and then we rented a car and have been driving around Marches region and now Tuscany. Chat to you when I get home. Ciao, CC

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Amusing, inspiring, thought provoking but not intimidating - considering the source. Perhaps that didn't come out the way I intended! I believe your intention is to share your thoughts not to impose them, please tell me I'm right. Happy to hear you enjoyed your day in the mountains., GR

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in response to a picture of Gusta @ 6 months I sent out to my ‘dog picture distribution list’:

My, how she has grown, now I can visualise her as I read the daily musings. Best Wishes, DR

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Gorgeous, KK

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WOW, what a big beautiful girl she has become. Look's like daddy takes good care of his girl. She is lovely. I am happy that you have her in your life., LW

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Thank you! Growing growing! What a sweetie!, LS

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thanks Mark, Gusta is such a handsome hunk!!! - isn't puppy love wonderful!!!! from one doggie lover to another here's a photo of my new wee Scottie - and 'wee' she does she's 4 mos. Old .puppy kisses, JF

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What a difference a few months makes., cc

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What a pose.....does she have an attitude?, nc

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Wow; can't believe how much she's grown! She's a very bright and intelligent looking dog; runs in the 'family' I presume?, SD

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Thanks Mark for the photo of Gusta - wow, has she grown, she looks great - you should very proud of yourself. Take care, IS

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Hi Mark, Would you like me to send you a picture of my cat??? Hehehe. Poor Clifford, my dog, is starting to slow down. Bad hip displacia. I can tell that he is starting to get pretty sore and I may have to put him down soon. The winter would be hard on him. Hope all is well with you. Is the Toastmaster going great guns? I joined lunchtime yoga and Spanish instead for now and signed up for a Musical Theatre course which runs thru tilll mid December. I tend to take on too much…ya think?, LB

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Wow, she's really thinning out! It's obvious you're taking good care of her. Thanks for sharing. Also, Mark, I seem to have been taken off your Facility Calgary dist list; would you please reinstate me? Tks, KR

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she is just beautiful............, AS

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Hello Mark, She is looking every bit the well cared for dog. The walks are wonderful for you both. I clearly remember being in the same track when I had my dogs. Take care and I look forward to seeing you early October,, JJ

few stars still shining as darkness yielded to morning light, silence was everywhere as early morning sun crept in stripes through clouds over a bumpy horizon while Gusta & I cruised the park encountering 2 interesting dogs, 1 interesting owner, 0 deer, ample wet grass – it’s 6C in south Calgary this morning

I think we will not find what we seek; rather, we find what we are prepared to see – so wherever we point ourselves IS the RIGHT direction –

aren’t we all at just the right age – the right point in our life, wanting to do something truly great ?

for me, I think maybe it will be the next thing I stumble across on my path that will be the most exciting or maybe something I encountered last week or maybe the time is here & now

. . . my question is never when ? but rather, what ?

I’m off early to Kananaskis for the BOMA golf tournament . . . a day in the mountains is perfect with or without a golf club in my hand – but so much more special when I do

CC is off somewhere on a trip . . . so ‘happy birthday’ wherever you are

I had a note from TA overnight - she ruminates on life & choices in the making - or maybe just fear of doing the wrong thing, the dumb thing, the less than successful thing, but doing them alone . . . singularly . . . letting some self doubt creep in

whatever you do Trees, it will be right for you because it is your choice; nothing else matters or ever did –

the answer to when ? is ‘now’
the answer to who? is ‘you’
the answer to why ? is ‘why not’

maybe you could come for a visit before you depart for parts south & we could explore some options & work on your game

Mark

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I guess you had just better lighten up mate, if some feel you are intimidating I don't agree one bit; you just have to get to know the soul, that is Mark. , BE

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Very opportune discussion of change. I'm presently beginning change at my work of 7 years with a new chair running the department, who is bringing about change that directly affects me. I'm not liking it much, but am sitting back waiting to see if maybe it's not so bad after all. Sometimes first impression ends up not being as bad as first thought. But sitting back trying not to fret about things is difficult., SB

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And have I been replaced by another PM? By the way, how are you? I just finished this year's Arts for the Soul - the arts camp retreat held every year in Steamboat. Fascinating, inspiring, and full of energy. You must come some year! It's life changing and enhancing for everyone who enters into the spirit of it, amateur and professional alike. I wasn't able to do all the afternoon hiking this year (due to ACL surgery) but still got up in the high country, with a couple of 80-somethings who were more my speed! They taught me how to see and appreciate yet again. Take care, Pattie, PM

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Any idea how I ended up on your mailing list. I don't mind too much, but my employer needs to maintain a high level of security on the e-mail system, and I need to support it. AJB

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yes you are intimidating Mark.......LL

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Intimidating, resistant to change - my, my - doesn't sound like the Mark that I know. Time for another picture of the biggest change in your life this year - Gusta! , AW

A close girlfriend saw Wedding Crashers and said that the whole movie theatre was filled with laughter. She said that she would pay for my ticket if I didn't laugh. It was cute but she ended up paying. Try Constant Gardener. It is not funny but certainly worth seeing. VBL

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Mark, I know you don't want to hear any more about it, but I went to Wedding Crashers with my adult son. We both laughed our heads off, we thought it was very funny and we are both prudes so it couldn't have been that bad. I hated 40 Year Old Virgin, - it was disgusting. I know some other people who saw it and said the same thing. Wish I had of talked to them first. I have never seen a pornographic film, but I think that thing must be close. Also it was not funny at all., LW

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Please remove me from your list for FacilityCalgary...I was added to this and the musings list...have become addicted to musings...have no use for FacilityCalgary, Thanks., SA

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Hey Mark, Congratulations on setting up your blog. I've been away much of the summer and am just catching up on my emails. Give me a call and let's catch up., PM

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Is it inevitable that I've been replaced by another MW? Thought I was seeing things this morning. Only so many initials to go around I suppose. Hope you are well., MW

cloudy & cool, 6C, refreshing air fills lungs; Gusta the energizer pup this morning seems to thrive on it too as she keeps doing 60 yard wind-sprints inside long after our walk + chasing her tail – a dog metaphor we often apply to business life; pretty good exercise I think without having to go outside or use equipment

gone so quickly if not captured – my thoughts, oft-flitting messes, disjointed mush I’d never dare share; some dark & socially inappropriate, some mundane & trivial; some come & go in a split second understood by me but requiring huge explanation to anyone else – or years of therapy

to imagine you or I can think a thought that has not been thought before is like thinking all things that can be invented have been invented already – both untrue

it would be delightful [I think ?] to have original thoughts every day – or maybe not ?

this thought that flits like a summer butterfly is gone so quickly if not captured

writing it down is like giving it voice – no longer fleeting – then toner meets electronic charge meets paper – a record of that thought generated; mine to treasure but, more likely, to gather dust only to be tossed away one day

GR, we are not on same page, nor similar paths, but could be a worthy distraction

last word on ‘Wedding Crashers’ ; if you consider your brain worthy of quality plot, ideas, acting and stimulation above the neck, see something else

Mark

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Mark, I disagree totally on your Wedding Crashers evaluation. My wife and I boththought it was the funniest movie we had seen in a long time - well worth the price of admission!!!, B.R.

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To MW, Your sign off indicates a tolerance that I did not read into your first message. No hard feelings on this end. Best of luck in all you are doing. AR

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To Mark, Yes, I am still seeing tango-man. Best of luck to you too. AR

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Hi Mark, Jus' checkin' to make sure you're ok. I didn't get the musing for today. With the number of people you send to now, I'm pretty sure I'm not the first to make sure you're not lying in a pool of blood in your apartment. Of course, if you don't respond to this email, I will think there really is something wrong and have no way to notify anyone. Hmmm, now how helpless do I feel..?, LR

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September 11 will always remain in my mind. I think of my friend Mike Pelletier, who worked on the 109th floor, his wife, Sophie and her desperate attempts to try and get in touch with him. I think of his two children, 2yrs and 6 months at the time. I think of his family, 2 brothers, a sister and two loving parents. Mikes father was and still is my mentor, although we don't get to talk and see each other as often as I wish. Mikes brother is a very close friend, has been and will be for many years. Although I think of all the events of that day, I think primarily of Mike and his family. SH

an early dog walk – then I hit the road; it rained most of the way driving back from Edmonton; 7C, clearing up in Calgary;

on days like today - driving back it struck me driving in rain under low hanging cloud, it is probably pretty much the same everywhere on the planet

on days like today our calendar & media remind us to look back, most of us thankfully, for having not been directly affected by a disaster

for most of us, the disasters are little ones . . . but just as telling

loss of 1 person, 1 house, 1 relationship, 1 business is just as poignant many years later as it is for those who lost something or someone on 9/11

on days like today – many will gather on a site or in front of a TV to remember the loss, few will sit anywhere to ponder the gain

with most losses, there is a benefit somewhere – often hard to see in the moment of reaction & grief, but somewhere there is a new way of being, a new opportunity that comes about, some lessons learned that would have not otherwise been taught

on days like today, some would say the world is safer in the view of some; others would say it is less so

4 years ago today things seemed the same everywhere on the planet – a day like today, when a planet of people were dumbstruck by 1 enormous event, the storm clouds of which still hang

on days like today – we know what will happen; disaster can strike, media & governments can react, donations & help will flow . . & later everyone marvels at how unprepared everyone was – last week’s fallout from hurricane Katrina a prime example

how are the tsunami victims ? has their life returned to normal & do we care ?

I think too often we expect [though we are often sadly disappointed] our governments to care on our behalf staying in touch with issues until things are set right; also we expect our media to keep us involved & up to date; more often they are more interested in promoting their own self interest / political agenda



today we mourn the sad state of things in New Orleans on many levels, pre-empted from public concern for 9/11 remembrances, only to be sidetracked as an issue in the next week or three as some new socio/political/economic bruhaha gets our attention

we are not, I fear, becoming 1 global village of collective caring, but rather pockets of protectionism & self interest we appease with our media, our short lived outrage

I think in 21st century earth we abdicate real involvement to governments, NGO’s & media – preferring to own a piece of the issue/action, the cause for a brief moment before we go back to our lives

Mark

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What a reflective intelligent interesting writer WM is and his words and way of life should inspire all of us to encourage ourselvesand our children to embrace worldwide travel and other cultures. My own sons live in Japan and in Canada whilst I remain in Scotland and I see their development is streets ahead those who chose to stay at home.... Its good you have feedback of such quality and content. Please continue WM. SUZY, SF

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I don't know what you are talking about. Wedding Crashers was awesome, Ithink you're losing your sense of humour., kk

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If you can figure out who I am (because I surely don't know if I can figureout who you are!) please take me off of your list, at least for now. I'vealmost 900 messages in my "Inbox" and they really must be sorted. I'm afraida regular addition, unsolicited and usually unread, is not helping. Thanksfor having included me in the first place; it's nice to feel "included". JRC

written in Millwoods @ 9 AM ; sent from Internet Café on Jasper Avenuewalking wet dog on unfamiliar turf is volunteering to have my shoulder dislocated every time - she lunges to sniff everything new - 11C, heavy overcast & windy, rain abateda struggle to find a simple set of words to say this - I notice more lately; not sure if I am getting better at anything or maybe just becoming a better observerwhether the company of a good friend, the warm of a gesture from my kids, the smile of a stranger, the collaboration of a colleague or an ‘ah-ha!’ moment on a golf cart or sitting in a movieit is this fascination with the very nature of curiosity – not just of being curious, which I’ve always been to the point of being an annoyance – but more of being curious about behaviour - watching others & myself when a toe is dangled in unfamiliar waterto nudge someone toward opening up, to tease someone with the mysteries of their own exploration should they venture into water that, while well charted by others, is new territory to them - putting one to in the wet for the first time; a mental pandora’s box itching to be opened – or not; perhaps to be probed another day . . yesterday full & worthwhile on several fronts; MM & I saw a ‘turkey’last night – ‘The Wedding Crashers’ not recommended, even if tickets are free; Carla & I talked & watched a movie till the wee wee hours; today lunch with JR, coffee with RT & golf with MM [hope the rain stops]
Mark

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Mark, Can you pass this on to AR, please.AR,Thanks for taking the time to write. You're obviously someone who thinks about the way of things. I doubt we are really at odds, but...My horse... high? Hmm. So short, in fact, is my pony that my feet drag in the mud.... and I cannot recall ever having painted a single North American or European with any brush, let alone the same brush. Had that been my aim, I would have used a roller. Quite frankly, I count many of the West's social achievements among the greatest achievements of humankind and I recognize that men and women worthy of immense respect and admiration are behind those achievements. The writing you responded to was not meant as criticism of Western culture as much as it was an expression of my sadness at its current direction. Sadly, the generalizations in my writing only reflect my lack of writing skills. But to address your criticism, AR... I don't feel holier than thou... I don't feel holy at all. Mostly, I feel wholly unholy and quite full of holes. I have perfected imperfection. I am a fully flawed, barely functioning human fugitive and you can ignore my lonely voice if you wish. I'm quite used to being ignored... I'm married. My only goal in life is to see my children grow up as healthy as possible (note that I don't say 'happy'). I don't think any of us is entitled to 'happiness' per se... though if we find it, we ought to rejoice in it. And therein, lies my point.... Somewhere along the way, many N. Americans and Europeans (and increasingly the wealthy in developing nations) have wrapped ourselves with a shroud of entitlement... a perception that we are guaranteed health, security and happiness. We ignore the fact that life is precarious, lived on a razor's edge, that it could end in an instant... in uncountable, unfathomable ways. We have somehow lulled ourselves into a stuporous dream of our own importance when really we aren't much more than random flotsam tossed on the currents of time. Look at modern Western society. People demand respect and dignity... without giving much back. The concept that respect is earned is fading into memory. Watch kids crossing the street. Many seldom bother to meet drivers' eyes, fully expecting them to stop... trusting their very lives to some divine exemption from harm. A sense of entitlement has infected them. I will cannot be hurt because I deserve... I deserve. I deserve. I don't begrudge a healthy lifestyle to anyone. But does that mean golfing on flawless greens stewed in chemicals? Does it require two... three cars, snowmobiles, quads, winter flights to Mexico, and 48' plasma TVs? Does it call for $150 running shoes for 10-year-olds... cellphones that take pictures... DVD players in the back seat? What is comfortable... and what... in the contrasting face of overwhelming global poverty... is obscene? A billion-and-a-half people on the Indian sub-continent... a billion-and-a-half Chinese... more in Africa... do we ask them not to aspire to our version of 'comfort'... or do they have the right to the same two cars, air-conditioning, central heating and freezers big and powerful enough to store a cow? If my thoughts bothered you... on a personal level, I apologize. I don't doubt you live your life honestly, with dignity and do your part to better the planet (you're work for clean water in Africa is more than I have ever done). Anyone who makes a conscious choice to better their family, their community and works for a greater, common good--on whatever level--has my admiration. I never intended to say otherwise or to sound as if I begrudge life's pleasures. From the saddle of my puny steed... MYOVOGBWY (may your own version of God be with you) WM

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My first born is also 27, and I am filled with pride and tears as I think of him as a man, a husband, and soon to be father, creating a powerful life for himself and his beloved family. More so since I know the journey he has taken to get here in his young life, my role seems small in his accomplishments. Congratulations on a job well done, Mark! CS (aka Carla)

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It's so nice to hear a gentleman reflect on and value his investment in his children. How lucky they are to have had you in their lives. I have two beautiful grandchildren who live across the street ~ and my husband and I adore them and spend time each day with them. What a joy! I enjoy your daily musings - it puts a nice perspective on what is important ~ and I share your thoughts. LBK, Palm Desert, Ca.

first bornWritten @ 7 AM in Millwoods, Edmonton . . sent later from internet café on Jasper AvenueOvercast & cool; 9C, new park to walk, investigating thousands of south Edmonton scents, Gusta like a one-eyed dog in a meat shop; Carla left for work . . . Gusta lays in wait by the door, expecting any moment she will return some people never have children – I have no opinion on that, though my vantage point keeps shifting – I appreciate a little more each time I see mine what a great investment of time & effort they have been; reminder last night – the dividends become more & mor priceless . . . I am a guest in Carla’s home & she stays up late to visit with me even though she had a brutal day & early start; a long way from 2 AM feedings, diaper changes & rocking her to sleep 27 years ago; it seems only yesterday my first born was first bornoohh life’s good & my back is so much better this morning after 2 hours on Eva’s massage table last nightfrenetic work of recent days culminates in delivery this morning – the rest of the day - meetings, errands, meetings, errands . . . where traffic’s a breeze & parking won’t break the bank . . . & getting together with MM this eveningtic-toc

Mark

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Hi Mark, Somehow I've repeated myself on your list...as a result you're repeating yourself. Please find one of my multiple personalities and delete it. Just one tho'. Thanks, RCRC

9C/48F calm, sunny . . . storm clouds on the horizon

amazing I think, that phenomenon when we think we some person, some circumstance – but when we see the same things through someone else’s lens – or just see people in action in different circumstances, the learning is everywhere every minute – sometimes it is hard to take it all in all the time, like wanting to speak, think & experience every memory of every moment in panavision !

maybe it is like John Muir said about nature – tug on any one thing & you find it attached to every other thing in the world – yesterday felt that way; thanks to hard of many others I get to play a little sometimes

marvelous serendipitous coincidence in how things, people, events & opportunity collide; yesterday was one of those – I came away enriched, smiling, saying hhmmm

it was on of those days where taking 8 hours for golf & a banquet really wasn’t ideal for an exhausted frenzied guy putting finishing touches on something really important, but it was – after all – golf

not that the weather would have mattered, it was a perfect blend of warm, calm & easy pace; it was a day of renewing some old connections, making some new ones . . . connecting with people out of touch for a while . . . for a long while . . . for a very long while; a great day yesterday on the golf course, my cart-make PK was low gross [73]; I was just thrilled to get my 89 playing in the shadow of greatness!

I had 2 calls at the same time last night; KT called from Amsterdam – she’s been out of touch for weeks traipsing around Turkey & sailing the Bosporus; next she’s off on a cook’s tour of Italy . . I miss regular contact with my pal, but clearly the trip is just what she needs – then a chat with JR . . . reconnecting after 15 yrs . . . hhmmm . . . much to catch up on!

tonight/tomorrow I’m off to Edmonton for a couple of days . . work, golf, play & maybe a massage . . I’m looking forward to seeing friends . . . old, new & recycled

life IS good !

Mark

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Please remove me from this musing as I am full on into school and having the time of my life with Chemistry and Physics and Love and Life. thank you- MD

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With my puter still DOA and only occasional random access to one... must have missed the one you did on cats and women who keep them! Wish I had seen it.. must have been something to cause so much comment! Personally about the only real difference between cats and dogs is cats bury their mess and dogs don't! I have cats who walked with me... played in the water and fetched toys... who insist on lap time and affection.. provided comfort and kisses when I needed it... my dogs have done the same.. both shed a ton of hair and drag in dirt, mud and various "oddities" in the form of dead things.. dogs tend bring in long dead while cats tend more toward recently deceased. In terms of cleaning up.. the difference just doesn't seem to matter! LOLOL I freely admit to being just as "goofy" about my dogs as my cats... and well.. my horses, cows, chickens and ducks and other "pets" over the years. I suspect the capacity to love is really of more significance than what or who we love. Hugs Dear!, JB

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Hello Mark, Sorry I have to ask you to take me off of your list for a while...will re-subscribe shortly. Thanks, TCM

5C/37 F, sunny, walking late; encountered a golden lab exhibiting boyish enthusiasm – what a contrast between him @ 8wks & Gusta @ 6 months – how much she’s grown !

the big honkin’ project is nearly done – afterward I always give my head a shake; but then the next one comes along & I lunge forward with boyish enthusiasm – only again to flop in middle-aged exhaustion; having slept 6 hours in the last 48 I am making really clear decisions on what MUST be done today, what can surely wait . . . also concluding some thing should not be done at all . . . how does one know the difference ?

hey WM, AR takes you to task with strong points; I suspect AR read one but not both of your comments last week . . . you 2 have basis for a dust-up or some understanding . . .which ?

AR, you are a-rousing when ticked . . . but then you are a-rousing all the time [are you still seeing tango-man?]

I’m playing in the Mortgage Loans Assoc. golf tournament this afternoon & gotta run

Mark

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Hello Mark! Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts and ideas to create a more meaningful life. I have been on your FacilityCalgary list for over 3 years and receiving the musings have been 'amusing'! Thank you and I do hope to meet you in person someday... Smiles, LL

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Please remove this address from your distribution list. I don't take the opportunity to read them at this address, but have enjoyed what I have seen at a glance. I'll send a request, in a month or so, to be added to your distribution list, using a different email address., DM

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To WM, It sounds like you are doing wonderful things in a part of the world that needs it - but get off your high horse. You paint all North Americans and Europeans with one broad brush stroke. We are not all selfish narrow minded people and we are not all alike - any more than all Orientals or Africans are alike. You have chosen to live with rotting soy beans and do what youcan 'in the field'. But that does not mean that you are holier than someone who does enjoy a safe healthy life style with their children, an occasional round of golf, good familiar food (not timbits), and a comfortable bed. There are many people here in North America who do a lot for people who are not as lucky as we are, but choose to do it without giving up a life style that is comfortable. I have less time to golf than I would like to have, because I work long hours and spend as much time with my children as I can. Among other things, I have recently organized a biosand water filter program to bring clean, safe water to 120,000 people in Africa - I couldn't have done that if I was living in a third world country and struggling with day to day life and death decisions, as it seems you are doing. Many of us help in whatever way seems best to us. I will not criticize your choices (although there are many arguments about the chauvinism of thinking that we know what is best for another culture that may or may not apply to what youdoing), and would hope that you would show people who have chosen a different road than you the same respect. AR