Musing

clear star-lit sky lit our way, the neighbourhood slept, we walked into a shrill westerly wind, 1C; time to dig out the gloves

women know how to listen, men don’t do that as well

we want to help . . so much so sometimes that we stop listening & start talking so intently that we stop listening; proving we are more interested in being seen as a helper with great ideas than to be seen as an empathetic listener – just a friend who cares to listen because often that is what someone needs most from us; not someone to solve their problem, but a caring someone to listen

I’m becoming a better listener, I’m trying to be a better giver

not that I have much to give in terms of money or influence – but a better giver in terms of giving effort to be helpful to somebody who needs or wants my help

sometimes the best gift we can give is to take a few minutes to listen after uttering the words ‘can you tell me about that ?’

sometimes it is to write a cheque – but more often I can give a lot more value by focusing for a few minutes on the person I am listening to – reminding myself the listening is about them, not about me

I’m no rocket-surgeon [thanks KC . . I love that word!], but I mean giving some ‘I want to listen to you’ effort away every day costs me nothing but the investment of a few words of caring & a few minutes of listening is well worth it

call someone you care about – friend, family member, customer – tell them ‘may I listen to you for a few minutes’ as opposed to ‘may I talk to you for a few minutes?’

so often I connect with people because I have something I want to tell them; lately I’ve been trying harder to shift that . . connecting with people . . . giving them an opportunity to tell me something

I need to listen better & do it more often

can I listen to you ? will you talk to me ? can I help ?

Mark

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