Musing

Look at this, the extra day and Mark has no opinion, just observing. Are we witness to change? "T", WT, Calgary

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Hey Mark, I used to receive your email but some how fell off the list. Hope things are going well. Regards, KR, Airdrie, AB

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In regards to your ankle try this old remedy that worked wonders for me back in my soccer playing days in England. Get a bucket of cold water and fill it up. Then fill the bath tub up, to the required depth, with hot water and stick your foot in the tub for 30 seconds, before transferring it to the bucket for 30 seconds. Alternate between the hot and cold, for about 10 minutes or so. It is important to try and get the water as hot and as cold as you can bear. Trust me it works, heck you will be kicking a ball by Monday !! Regards, PT, Calgary

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Hey Mark - You forgot the BIG DEAL about leap day - this is the traditional day when the woman gets to ask the man to marry... So here it goes! Nah, I guess I'll stay single another 4 years. Aside to PB... This is your big chance! CH, Chimacum, WA

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Yes observing is nice, the holiday for it is a different thing I think!! Too much I suppose!! Your musings are great to read and a lot of how I think. Hope your ankle gets better, keep the peas on all the time!! Good thing it did not break, that REALLY hurts, RW, ?

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This was sent to me by one of my co-workers. It is good to read. Of course we would all agree: When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine... A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it in to the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full." The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "There's no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you." "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend." Share this with a friend. I JUST DID! Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.; BB, Vancouver, BC

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -4C/25F, clear, Gusta breakfasting after backyard romp-a-round; my ankle tightly taped, then tightly wrapped in frozen gel-pack, I took a walk-without-dog around the crescent, sidewalks bare and dry, no leaping for me, local rabbits observed me, puzzled to see me walking (shuffling is walking) without rambunctious yellow dog pulling me off balance; examining my first severely sprained ankle by twisting it in every painful direction possible, the doctor observed it would have hurt far less if I’d just broken it – now, 25 years and many sprains later, doctors are similarly unsympathetic and they hurt (the sprain, not the comments) just as much

we leap to conclusions, take leaps of faith, leap (some folks) over icy patches . .

‘Oh the wild joys of living! The leaping from rock to rock . . . the cool silver shock of the plunge in a pool’s living waters.’ – Robert Browning

in hospital for observation, my dad is observing the nurses, doctors, equipment and rules while they observe him, standing by waiting for a reoccurrence of severe abdominal pain they can’t figure out; meanwhile, I’m observing my amazing dad; he’s not rich in monetary terms but he regularly shows me a wealth of skills and grace I will likely never match

retired working guy – he never had grand ambitions, never leapt to conclusions or radical action; his recipe for success was just his work ethic, integrity as taught by his dad’s example, a smile, and a tendency to keep things to himself – I’ve been observing him do that consistently for the 56 years I’ve known him

when I called to check on his condition an emergency room nurse effusively launched into a testimonial about what a sweetheart of a guy he is and what a pleasure it is to take care of him; no caregiver has ever said that about me

a leap day holiday would be a nice idea – one day every 4 years, a holiday for observing leaping in its many forms; no leaping today, I’m just observing - maybe I’ll find a way to be nicer

Mark Kolke
338,832
198.9


... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

Hi Mark, I hope the ankle recovers quickly. I wiped out on some ice a few weeks ago and tore the hamstring in my left leg. Ouch!, SB, Calgary

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A timely musing. I too had some adventures while walking our Golden this AM but survived intact and in one piece. My wife on the other hand managed to break her ankle on the 16th while taking the dog out for a walk. Unfortunately, no one was home and she had to hop and crawl the three blocks back, BH, Calgary

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I hope your ankle isn't too bad...definitely a slippery morning today. I parked my car and got out and observed a vehicle sliding down the hill into the curb, flipping onto it's side then back upright. I ran across the road to check on the driver and call 911. I didn't leave until all the emergency responders had arrived and I had filled out the police report. I wouldn't have thought of not responding, or of not staying until I had done everything I could. I have had others do the same for me in the past. What goes around, comes around. SL, Calgary

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Having a dog who needs walks makes me vulnerable to these kind of spills as well. I thank my trainers at the gym when I hit an ice patch and I am able to avoid hitting the pavement. Those balancing exercises do have a purpose! In the past I have suffered a broken shoulder and a broken wrist, thanks to the ice under the snow. Hope your ankle feels better, Mark. You are lucky to have a PB, AW, Calgary

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Shall we nickname you KLUTZ? I could give up the moniker that used to be so familiar to moi!? Truly sorry you had a tumble, but more so ~ very disappointed in the people near by who obviously hadn’t a moment of kindness in their souls to ask such a simple question as “do you need help?”. It says an awful lot about our city and the people, so consumed with self, that not a moment is spared for others. I pity them! AHHH, those bags of peas, aren’t they a wonderful invention. I hate peas, but I always have a bag in the freezer, so at least, in my mind, they have a purpose. So when I down and blue, don’t, PLEASE, don’t make me a Comfort Casserole with peas! Take care my friend!, kk, Calgary

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As an addicted walker you badly need to purchase some aids. Check with your nearest shoe store or repair shop and find the rubber slip on devices with the steel sole grips. These change a troublesome weather situation into no issue at all, DR, ?

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Mark, do you have a musing that talks about how proud you are of your daughters? If so please forward it to me. I am glad that all is working so beautifully with PB. I am also in a very special relationship with a wonderful partner. Thanks, VL, Englewood, CO

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You spoke up when I needed assistance – thank you for that. I'm doing much better now, but I do keep in mind that it is all a process and it doesn't always go in a straight line or even in just one direction, SH, Calgary

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Mark, hope your ankle is not too badly damaged. Your prose is as enthralling as ever though, so I imagine you avoided bumping your noggin (at least too hard). Regards, DA, Vancouver, BC

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -3C/28F, Gusta owns no responsibility for pulling at the wrong moment, fresh wet snow (still falling) blanket obscuring ice beneath, still falling, would still have brought me down – slow-mo calamity inevitable (a guy fell on the same spot 5 minutes later notwithstanding my warning) – crumpled my carcass to earth but only after propeller-like leg movements moved some air around, one pound at a time, starting with my right ankle, stranded by a soccer field 3 blocks from this keyboard where I awaited PB’s rescue (thank you!) ; we witnessed two falls on the short drive back from the fall scene

rehearsing is repetition, hopefully with modifications for improvement each time; I remember three years ago, in similar conditions, flat on my back wondering why I didn’t have my cell phone with me in case I couldn’t get up or make my way home

frozen pea ice-pack clutching my ankle, I know stumbles and falls aren’t planned or fate – falls and lessons, like most things in life, come when they come – whiz by and are easily missed, so what am I meant to pause on, think on, write on now?

I’ll buy tape and truss the ankle, otherwise I doubt I’ll lose productivity today – doubt I’ll reschedule much - but I know for sure I’ll be thinking differently than if I hadn’t fallen

walking can be hazardous to health, as can not walking; today’s ego-ectomy could only have been prevented by not going out because a different route had the same risks laid out before me, waiting for my arrival and fall; sprawled helpless in the gutter, traffic going by – another walker falling – dog anxious to romp; drivers did not stop, driveway shoveling folks couldn’t spare time to say ‘hey you there, you - on the ground - are you OK?’

I’ve learned from my dad’s experiences in recent years, falls are not something to take as lightly at this stage of life as I did when toddler-hood morphed through sports and countless other tumbles toward maturity - but it seems I’m still falling

rehearsal is great if we know what we are preparing for but most of life is not done according to plan or a schedule – it seems that way every day, but every day it seems everyday things alter the course, mess with the schedule and bring new things into focus

today’s lesson for me may be about staying inside in cold weather, but I think not; not about walking or falling or rehearsing, I think more about noticing others not noticing, wondering how often that was me walking by or staying silent when someone was having trouble, in need of assistance

Mark Kolke
338,856
199.8

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

How true. If the reading public stood up for itself and insisted on better research and more information, at least including the wording of the question, then better information would be available. Or are many people happier when the media edits out anything that might challenge widely held, but erroneous, understandings?, LHE, Calgary

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Well...thanks for staying in touch. I enjoy your excellent & insightful writings...& I am delighted that you have found someone so special to share your love & life. Fondly, JH, Kelowna, BC

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: 7C/44F, overcast, Chinook arch, steady light breeze; bare lawns expand reach, snow banks on north sides of houses hold their ground, Gusta not caring about the weather change or which way the wind is blowing, keen to romp (as I write this she is doing sprints in the back yard oblivious to me watching); is it Chinook time or spring time?

too many questions, too many polls, too many messages, not enough understanding, too little feedback from too narrow a point of view; opinion pollsters gauging winds of change seem less intent on knowing views, more focused on testing theories by way of how they craft questions, skewing answers to support some trend imagined; I read (or listen to) the daily collage barrage volume of ‘message’ trends (John Naisbitt would cringe); is the budget right, is a campaign promise affordable, is some notion better than another?

when answers don’t support their view, they consider the research incomplete and go on to ask more questions while media adversaries tend to skew things the opposite way - in theory - to ensure contrary views are heard, unpopular trends are exposed and charlatans pilloried, too often they become makers of news rather than reporters of it

budgets, campaigns, issues – dominate my news horizon; it occurs to me that leaders, wannabe leader and pretenders to the throne are just like us as children; they, at their core, exhibit traits no different than our childish ways of avoiding consequences of acts, avoiding exposure of what we failed to do, of what we failed to do well, of what we forgot to do, of what we are bound to be in trouble for if found out – media presume we crave to know about every microscopic piece of dust, analysis far from objective or insightful such that advertising hype for a new movie seems more credible to me

politicians, economists and stock pickers alike - less concerned knowing which way the wind is blowing or how hard, they know which answers serve their purpose – then organize their data, theories and questions to generate the answers they want to hear

evaluating effectiveness is not about truth objectively viewed any more than saying ‘it is windy today’ tells me El Niño or La Niña are at work or taking a holiday; if questions are created for the sole purpose of generating a particular type of answer, it become hard to know if the wind is blowing at all or which way

Mark Kolke
338,980
199.7

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

My question to you is…who is they?…SS, Calgary

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Thanks. Check out our new blog hosted by yours truly at www.sony.com/electronicsblog , Best regards, RC, California

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Even though I enjoy reading you, I must ask that you remove me from your distribution list. The email address is my work address and this kind of email contravenes our Company policy. Thanks for your understanding, ND, Toronto, ON

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -5C/22F, clear, sidewalks bare, blood and adrenalin flowing, we walked twice our usual distance, a change of habit - Gusta rolling on her back in the frozen yard, wiggling like she’s trying to molt - massage effects a byproduct I suppose

I paid for something the other day with cash (they didn’t take cheques or credit or debit cards) – I got change

‘All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion and desire.’ - Aristotle

‘Habit is stronger than reason.’ – George Santayana

they say - habits once begun rarely change; I’m not talking about smoking or drinking or another vice; habits, norms, how we do stuff, how we treat people rarely change; what we started with stays with us – in part from the comfort of feeling ‘normal’ but more from the discomfort that comes with efforts to change

they say - habits change as much as people do – not much, habits are so ingrained they are auto-response things we have our minds and bodies trained to do; changing is not difficult intellectually, but changing habit is a huge mountain to climb

they say - acceptance of things as they are, especially ones we cannot change, is a good thing; simple in theory when it involves others, but acceptance in self and in our children (seems appropriate to struggle with nonetheless) can easily be described as futile because clear thinking and clear vision get twisted up somehow as we deal with confluence of tasks, plans, objectives and things labeled GOAL - constantly obscuring our view of our true goal

they say - youth is wasted on the young; reading that or saying it rings more true as each year goes by, not because I see talent wasted more or less than before but because I see reflected in others so many examples of how I squandered opportunities, so many examples of how habit kept me on tracks different than those leading to what I wanted

that’s what they say . . .

hard to separate, I’m reviewing my habits and routines – measuring how they connect to my goal

I got change coming

Mark Kolke
339,004
199.4

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -6C/20F, overcast/ice-fog, light dusting of snow, just enough to obscure every icy patch, but we found them anyway; Gusta happy romping in the yard, munching a frozen bone when she takes a break, then repeating wind-sprints like they are first time events

so often a new day or week brings so much opportunity for draining dull repetition, reminding us that fresh original is more exciting than an old copy; fresh idea, fresh thought – rarely fresh or original - just new to me in their current form; thoughts to dwell on, thoughts arrive fresh at brain’s door – not so much fresh as they are survivors

I sold a short ‘survivor’ piece last week – an old piece re-worked, pasted together with a new beginning and end – ideas now renewed, freshness substituted for originality

thoughts we’ve not encountered before have likely been run through the strainer of thousands of better minds many thousands of times, not new, quite old really - tried though not necessarily true, until tried by you and me, until worn through by you and me they are fresh . . as fresh as Monday morning though Monday morning seems to be as old as the concept of a week which makes it pretty hold, so I wonder how it could be fresh

fresh means new days, unspoiled hours - fresh is new, the opposite of stale, tired, old, used etc.; fresh foods, fresh air, fresh start, fresh adventure, fresh conflict, fresh challenge, fresh ideas

like a recipe or a morning walk, each something I start - with my fingerprint on it - is as truly original and likely to be fresh as each snowflake, many thousands of times, every Monday, every day, fresh whenever I want it to be

Mark Kolke
339,028
199.5

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

I haven't seen "Vantage Point," but have read an on-line critique, which is almost identical to yours. "Neglected issues come back with a vengeance, neglect prevention is its own reward;" how true. Perhaps thinking on its own is over-rated, and indeed purposeful creativity is to be exalted. How else the great philosophies and art of history, with their rewards? But do not underestimate the worth of the spontaneous thought. That is, I believe , how Einstein discovered the principle of equivalence, and rumoured to be how Newton discovered gravity. I will treasure each thought of mine; it is all mine and no one else's, and will be filed away in my memory banks to be drawn on at will at some future time for use or embellishment as the case may require, EG,Calgary

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -6C/21F, overcast, lots of fresh scent at the soccer fields kept Gusta occupied until she spied a frisky pup a block away – each of them straining up on hind legs stretching their leash to maximum tension, still more snow/ice than turf, the balance shifting

PB and I saw Vantage Point last night - action, repetition, action, repetition, car chase scene, repetition – too many undeveloped stories and unexplored characters thrust together in a cash production movie - reservoir of ideas run dry, too much content, not enough technique; I came away not really knowing any of the characters well at all, the plot never explained (perhaps the plot was to get my cash and park me in a seat based on slick marketing and a big name cast)

any scene on screen or off, same old recipe every day, or on a walk or at work, on top of the world or under the gun, in good times and in bad weather – balance shifting alternate views, new vantage points, refresh pleasures, squeeze dull out of routine, add spice and a new rub because reacting to a disruption in our equilibrium gets our attention, brings us up to account to the person we see in the mirror – made better if hugged by someone friendly – neglected issues come back with a vengeance, neglect prevention is its own reward

on its own, thinking is over-rated, but thinking while doing something worthy gets the entire mind-body rig equipped, powerful and drilling for the pay zone, gets the balance shifting - technique applied to a cause, fresh ideas introduced to understanding offer deeper meaning, not content with sensation alone . . drilling deeper; dried prairie landscape, a place where water wells and oil wells dry up, their reservoirs drained of life – but imagine rejuvenation, stimulating flow and pressure and extraction again, long after wind dried, long after rusting machinery ground arthritically to a halt

machinery of mind and body creak too – like implements left too long in the yard, they need more than fresh paint and pumping to give them life - stimulating conversation brings flesh and bone, muscle and tendon back to life, a derailed train of thought placed back on its tracks can haul the load home - action, repetition, action, repetition - balance shifts

Mark Kolke
339,052
197.8

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

I belong to a union 367,000 strong, we are the disabled of Alberta, imagine if we all voted as one. "T", WT, Calgary

To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to mark@markmusing.com
©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -7C/20F, clear, calm; yard snow recedes daily, encourages spring thinking, Gusta, used to being harassed one magpie at a time, found a raucous caucus of them disconcerting – they seem to be disorganized, leaderless, not focused in any direction or purpose other than surviving while sniping at others – difficult to tell if they are discussing magpie politics or when spring will arrive

collectively we have abdicated thinking for ourselves, given up wanting freedom to participate in how we are governed, instead leaving it to TV and blogs to inform us of what is important or who to vote for; fact and opinion matter but we’ve been numbed into some state of not caring because it doesn’t matter, not getting involved because we cannot affect the outcome, not engaging because ‘things are pretty good’

leadership deserves followership – we crave the first, participate abysmally in the second; ‘first world’ countries have freedom won on the backs and blood of those gone before, taking as a given something so precious it is ‘to die for’ as many millions have while we content ourselves in channel surfing apathy, scoffing at those in the arena; right now, I ponder if the people of Kosovo understand participation in democracy better than Canadians or Americans

choosing leaders, we seem to want a popularity contest to produce a clear, articulate and charismatic winner – to be able to say ‘I voted for him/her’ while dismissing yesterday’s man as worthless, someone who never got it right – little wonder great men and women choose other fields to succeed and prosper; using the words truth and politics in the same sentence generates giggles instead of respect, gratitude and reverence

good government will prevail, democratic rights, fair play, opportunity and freedom will always be protected - we assume they will, just as we assume they are now, in spite of so much contrary evidence; armchair judgment always shifting; change is good, right? change is bad, right? that depends; sound bites don’t make change or confirm anyone has the skill to affect change any more than ideas proposed will really affect change at all

this silly season unfolds, I wonder to what degree we, the pandered to, truly thirst to follow anything or anyone, how strongly we feel both need and responsibility to cast votes, contribute to decisions and truly affect change with our vote

media coverage doesn’t make it true any more than a house full of tulips makes it spring

Mark Kolke
339,076
199.3

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

I watched the Austin, Texas debate last night (I didn't think our local production would have any impact on our future) I actually think the "Obama Movement" just could galvanize the American people enough to make a positive impact on the future of democracy, and could reverse the decline of American influence in the world. This is a man I consider to be the potential equal of the great ones before him, eg Lincoln, FDR and JFK. In general, those individuals who have made the most lasting difference in world history have not been politicians, but rather the founders of religions and ideologies the great scientists and inventors and explorers. That's my take, EG, Calgary

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today's column written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -5C/23F, joggers on sidewalks still patchy with snowmelt risk leg breakage, back pack laden boys hustling to school bus take time to jump on yesterday’s puddles hoping for a breakthrough, Gusta their eager witness; Edmonton trip-end ritual visit to the BonTon for pecan rolls yesterday produced encounter with AH – great to see you - he made Gusta’s day or, perhaps, the other way round – decompress drive back aided by mountain backlit rosy glow, like a worn crosscut blade laid on the prairie, glint on metal, shining through the missing teeth

last night Alberta and US political debates - reality shows, teach, instruct and expose shortcomings without explanation proving little; debate it was not, but that is what they call it, political rivals duke it out like gladiators from ancient ruins, hastily crafted words their weapons – like that child trying to break through ice, entertaining to watch the futility for a few minutes – no substance to the outcome

parties and media think we are stupid and lazy all at the same time – that we cannot understand complexity, that we will believe solutions to long standing problems can be solved with a sound-bite or a single decisive action

I’m hoping for a breakthrough but my optimism is waning - I sometimes wonder if the leaders who purport to lead us are really chosen by the collective ‘us’ or if it is really a random result driven by when we got tired of thinking because we forget that process does not trump a great idea, routine dismissal never stopped a flood, rhetoric neither fixes the world or makes it go faster

Mark Kolke

339,100

199.4

What do you think? Join the discussion - comments are welcomed - please write.To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to mark@markmusing.com©2008 MaxComm Communications

Mark, thank you for allowing yourself to be revealed in your vignettes of daily musings. I don’t get to read all of them….but when I do I can acknowledge, reflect and feel connected to the web and flow of life that brings together our similarities. Thank you for sharing, MTM, Calgary

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Thanks, Mark. I really appreciate your posting my info on St. Baldrick’s. Be exceptionally well, SW, New Orleans, Louisiana

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I watched the eclipse, since it could be done from my balcony. However, I suddenly realized that I didn't know why the moon turns red, and decided I needed to know that there and then. So, on a website called something like "Eclipses for Beginners" I found that it comes from sunlight being refracted by our atmosphere bathing the moon in red. Again, a comparison of those who question and those who don't, those who grow and those who don't. To question and find answers is to grow, as it is equivalent to growing from experience. May I never lose that capacity, EG, Calgary

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Maui was, as always, beautiful, soul restoring, and calming. And the snorkeling was great too. Dad was clear, calm and serene to the end. Another victim, in many ways, to the dual daggers of Parkenson’s and the Alberta “who” Cares (not the Alberta Health Care) system. I’m at a new job. Feels like fun so far. Beautiful ring, hopeful future and August is a good month, SB, Calgary
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To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to mark@markmusing.com©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from an internet café on Jasper Avenue in downtown Edmonton

walk report: -9C/16 F, clear, full moon led us, Calder rail yard shuffles bounced through the stillness like a steady jazz beat, Gusta found a rabbit less interesting than a snowman family complete with scarves, carrot noses and hats – she couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t pet her no matter how wildly her tail wagged

27 of my 56 years lived here – precious friends, children and memories still do – belated birthday dinner with Krista (we opted for awesome pasta at Il Pasticcio in favor of watching the lunar eclipse), her issues, interests and dialogue delight me more and more - followed by a too brief visit/catch-up with my inn-keeper MM (longer visit needed) followed by restless night reflecting on how much I am like my kid – or the other way round – amazing what happens when cells divide in two

twists of my non-logical mind using intuition and emotion - sorting goal from tasks from wishes from dreams - twists of choice, of chance, twists and turns proving the world is divided in two – those who change and those who don’t, those who grow and those who don’t, those who settle and those who don’t, those who question and those who don’t, those who have some Edmonton in them and those who don’t

Mark Kolke
339,124
199.2


... with your voice, teach in order to learn


What do you think? Join the discussion - comments are welcomed - please write.

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

Love that musical - Paint Your Wagon - thanks for the recollection. And I am on my way too - heading west young? wo_man! Take care, SE, Toronto, ON

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You were only out by 10 clubs. (667) Kudu's to Ocean side life is a great place when you have experienced the alternative, best of luck. again Mark you can make it work, WT, Calgary

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Cute! So what was your speech about?, kk, Calgary

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Lucky you got to 676 and that experience. I was so fortunate yesterday as to have my speech evaluated by a District Governor, John Snelson, who happened to be visiting Nex-To-Speak. (He even liked it, made my day.) I don't know "Paint Your Wagon" although have certainly heard about it. I'm not quite sure where I'm going either, and probably won't until I get there, EG, Calgary

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Hi, Mark. I’ll keep this short and sweet. I believe in this cause and this organization enough to shave my head and volunteer my time to help organize an event. Their network is designed to all but eliminate administrative costs, passing nearly 100 percent of donations on to research and treatment institutions focused on fighting children’s cancer. Feel free to laugh at me when I’m bald … I really don’t mind at all (I’ll post an “after” photo on the St. Baldrick’s site). I figure I’m in brave company when I look at the kids on the St. Baldrick’s site. I want you to give me a hard time about it, really … especially if you do so after contributing to the cause. So please go to the link below and contribute to the impending delinquency of my hair. And please pass this link along to a friend (maybe all your Musings friends?), if you like the cause. http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.html?ParticipantKey=200830687 Thanks for your time and your contribution, CW, Fla?

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -6C/20F, clear and calm as morning rose, icy patches continue to dictate the walk/nimble/leap world I walk on – Gusta struggled to race ahead at the sight of a retriever jogging too fast the other way for catching up today, no doubt dreaming of future tries with better results

so much of life is fast, instant and disposable - things we’ve done before get done the same old way we’ve done them before whether 10 times or 10 thousand times - reflecting on last night’s experience I’ve been humming an old tune this morning, but somehow it seems new

things I’ve done a first time are experiment – too often I think, new things got discarded after too few tries because they didn’t work; if it doesn’t work, toss it aside, replace it and move on with strong emphasis on the ‘move on’ part

parts of it worked, parts will be tossed aside, some parts need fixing, some parts need realignment, somehow I’ll get that joke in the middle to work - I am trying to weave some concepts, connect, motivate, grip, grab, inform, entertain and be effective in delivering my message – so I’ve taken my goal stick on a road trip, working my 7 minute speech for upcoming competition

humbling - putting it mildly – but I had a good time, I really did; I attended 676 as a guest last night; 676 (Twin Rivers Club) was the 676th Toastmasters Club founded; started in 1948, this one is an experience every Toastmaster should share, to say nothing of having your speech evaluated by someone who has been at it for 41 years - the membership is diverse, eclectic and dynamic; I got feedback I was seeking, support and harsh critique too, coming away with a reinforced respect for process – many thanks to SS for inviting me, congrats to WT for masterful chairing

the tune I can’t get out of my head – from Frederick Loewe’s Paint Your Wagon -

Where am I goin'?I don't knowWhere am I headin'?I ain't certainAll I know Is I am on my way

Mark Kolke
339,148
199.5


... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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Hey there Mark; Don't get to comfortable, your on the hot seat tonight. Comfort is one thing but contentment is the answer, WT, Calgary

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Comfort is a relative concept. At age 44, I never thought I would define comfort in terms of my health. Having just finished 18 weeks of chemotherapy and many unbearable hours/days, I find that my discomfort on my “bad” days helped define my comfort on my “good” days. Just starting to feel human again and I begin 8 weeks of daily radiation tomorrow. Seems as though I had to experience the lowest of the lows in order to appreciate what I previously called a normal day. I cannot wait until I once again define comfort as feeling strong, walking an 18-hole golf course, working out, earning a living, and most of all: growing my hair back!! The blessing is that my predicament has FORCED me to slow down, to appreciate the little things like taking walks with my 80 year old mother, making dinner for my husband, being more attentive to my home/garden, reconnecting with friends. All the things that I was “too busy” to do before my diagnosis. I am happy to report that my cancer is gone, that the poison seems to have worked, KM, Oceanside, CA

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Good Morning Mark, I appreciate your musings every day and I look forward to reading them. Some days you know exactly what I need to hear, it’s nice. We’ve never met and I have no idea how I got onto the distribution list, but I’m glad I did. Good luck to you and your butterfly, it makes me happy to hear that you have found each other. I have not yet been so fortunate to find him, but like you once said I’m “trying to LIVE life and not just sit back and wish I had” (maybe not exact words) and hope that thru my adventures we will cross paths. It’s hard when you’ve been waiting a long time, DP, Boston, MA

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Mark, I wish I had time to read your musings but I'm just overwhelmed by emails every day. Good luck with your writing -- you are very good, BW, ?

...

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -3C/26F, a fuzzy moon through clouds made it feel like I was seeing double; snow banks shrunken, another freeze-thaw day of road ice mess between sidewalks that are passable but with icy patches, Gusta just happy to be roaming the streets while everyone sleeps

today is a new day, beginning of a short work week and – for many – a new day of comfort/discomfort, a new way, a new place, a new stage, a new phase, a new project, a new job, a new home, a new relationship – each thing that is new takes us on a journey of discomfort in search of perceived comfortable reward down that road

bumpy rides are good, though smooth pavement around sharp curves is nice – but speaking generally, comfort does not comfort me, the prospect of comfort does not appeal to me – life in a basement room would be fine if that was all I could manage – comfort is not about dreams of it or comfort enjoyed or comfort found

of comfort enjoyed beyond a luxurious hour or weekend or thinking about it, comfort isn’t so comfortable; I like comfort, comfort is easy - I enjoy it immensely, but, like the morning- after a too-much- fun night, morning comes; comfort comes in many forms most of which don’t matter to me; sure, I can enjoy fine things but they don’t make me think, thoughts of comfort do not stimulate my brain as much as they affect my lazy-bone

comfort, and thoughts about it, shouldn’t take me off my plans, away from my goal or outside my comfort zone, but it does – I have to remind myself to not get too comfortable, because some icy patch in the road inevitably shows up – if I am comfortable it will send me skidding, but if I am uncomfortable I feel better prepared

when I take a moment during a week’s work, I wish for uncomfortable weeks with comfortable weekends, uncomfortable months when O/D at the bank means ‘on deposit’, uncomfortable years with uncommon experiences, uncomfortable life with a butterfly along for the ride – but when I find myself dreaming of wealth and riches, when I imagine fineness and luxury, when I imagine what it would be like to live like a king or a captain of industry or a wealthy heir . . . then I wake up

I have all the comfort I can handle – a fair share of discomfort too, a balance I suppose like driving down the centre of a narrow road, avoiding ditches on either side – passable with icy patches

Mark Kolke
339,172
199.6


... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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I certainly don't know if another's answers are the same as mine....Vive la difference ....like Gusta rolling on the ice, why not try it and see how it feels? That is why I must find mine; they're the only ones that will fit me exactly, like a well-tailored suit. And my "best before" date? I prefer to think of myself as an aging wine, EG, Calgary

...

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -5C/23F, brilliant sunshine, birds singing – like a morning walk somewhere warm and grassy except for the ice and the cold – Gusta rolling on the ice in the yard; I’m not sure if she has an itchy back or is practicing some pre-spring ritual

the answers, if I trust the song, ‘are blowin’ in the wind’; I’ll keep my ears open (and my mind) as I seek answers

figuring anything out - pursuing dreams, achieving ambitions, planning the path – seems so difficult sometimes; taking steps, tiny/grand, generates little excitement for anyone else; it matters only to the person taking the step and, to a lesser degree, by those affected by it

life breaks into so many easy to understand pieces, it seems strange to have trouble sorting it out – wake/sleep, birth/life/death, man/woman, eat/fast, work/play/rest, think/not, feel/not, try/not - simple really - but often it seems much tougher than that

my successes and pratfalls make a lengthy list that matter only to me; my future too, things I want to do, how I want to do them, when/where/how they happen matters to me; I wrestle with whether they need to matter to anyone else, how they fit/not

then again, maybe the things that matter to me don’t matter so much at all

depending on vantage point and culture, my life is completed, it would seem – children on their own, doing well at life – I’ve lived a good life, an interesting life, lots of great people in it; if I croaked tomorrow I’ve lived a good one, done lots, nothing for the history books but I’ve done a lot of things I feel proud about, things that have given me a sense of fulfillment – I could go now, no one would say, ‘hey, he didn’t pull his weight’ or ‘he’s got unfinished business’

but, my life is not complete – regardless of when my ‘best before’ date might really be, I have dreams to live, mountains to climb, trouble to cause, new ‘unfinished business’ to start. . . and wind to listen to

Mark Kolke
339,196
199.4

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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I love my daily musings but unsubscribed in error, please could you reinstate me? Thank you sooo much, SH, Toronto, ON

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I agree that it's a supreme blessing to have growing children. I neglected mine too much and am paying for it now. I feel strongly now that the precious time of nurturing lost can never be found again, and that is a severe loss for both parent and child, leaving permanent scars, EG, Calgary

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Re: signs of life - Sorry for your loss. Our thoughts are with you, SK, New Jersey

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Re: signs of life - I tell my friends, “Don’t say ‘Take care” when we leave each other’s company. Say ‘Take NO care!’” Like saying “Watch for deer,” the thought being transmitted is that there is something ‘out there” to be afraid of! BL, Great Falls, MT

...

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -9C/16F, sunny, calm, the alley route of rutted ice like a horizontal Khumbu icefall but that was easier to walk than the streets, at first I think she figured they were giant rabbits - Gusta found two potential Samoyed friends behind a fence

being my daughter cannot have been easy – I’ve been a lot less than I could have been, less than I should have been – but they turned out to be great in spite of my shortcomings;
most days I feel close - daughters 200 miles away - we talk frequently enough, can connect if we need, make time when we want or feel compelled; some days the connection seems weaker – like this one, as I ponder things I might have done differently

not inches or feet, distance - between close and far, or close and not so far is like a rope fallen slack, no way of knowing a connection remains unless we pick up the rope and give it a tug to verify the connection still exists, then, when we do, all will be calm again; before day is out I am sure I will reach her, before week is out I am sure I will see her – I appreciate not everyone can, sometimes their connection is broken, permanently, irreversibly – no one on the other end, gone or lost or forgotten or pushed far away

product of my DNA and environmental influences, latent affects of being around and influenced by me and efforts to emulate me; being father is easy – sperm donation all it takes – the rest, a muddle of random and nature, some nurture; DNA imprints her with ‘me’ many ways, in others more like her mother yet she is more like me than her sister in some ways, unlike me in others but none seem to be opposites of me or ever clearly were

revolving-door-relationship-syndrome – maybe she got that from me too; also - flippant, short-tempered, rude, crude, funny, spontaneous, competitive, sweet, tender, thoughtful, thoughtless, irreverent – not all the time, just enough to notice she is like me as with her knee-jerk reaction tendency – sorry Krista, blame me for that one too

I don’t remember bad times or ‘oops there was a bad dad’ moments; I’m sure there were but I remember others so vividly – like the time I force-fed her first strawberry and the grin that followed, her wit first shown while still in a high-chair, her grit on the soccer field, her laughter, her depth, her rough exterior, her soft centre, her growing up, her growing wise, her lallo boops (yellow rubber boots) or her go-for-it on the field, court and rink – her cribbage games with her grandfather or her awe in a museum or on a Manhattan street corner; I am stunned to think how much more she has done for me than I have for her

Krista and I exchanged emails this week – to and fro - one of those weird internet conversations, but dialogue it was not; then we talked about the things we were e-mailing about, ‘issues-du-jour’, but I want to talk some more – for several days I’ve been wanting to re-connect beyond just voice-mails; I want to talk with my daughter, not just because it is her birthday (28) today but because I wanted to tell her how much it means to me that she is exactly who she is and how proud I am to be her father

Mark Kolke
339,220
198.9

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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How encouraging that our society can hold people with different views and that people feel okay about putting their view forward. CR's comments and NMB's response shows again that personal freedom is actionable in our society. People who have reached understandings that are true for them, like CR and NMB, can be keenly aware that those who disagree might respond emotionally. Bravo to both for stating their case anyway. I DON'T look forward to a chain of controversy but I like the freedom to express views, LHE, Calgary

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I believe that experience is experience; it includes many mistakes, but they are not synonyms. I agree that everything undertaken bears a greater or lesser degree of risk, that life equals experience, and he/she who avoids risk avoids life. I have learned these things in an already relatively long life. Are despair, the passage of time or loneliness defeated by action? It depends on what the action is. Seeking the help of others, mixing with others, interacting with family, working and hobbies, volunteering would be positive and helpful, for instance, EG, Calgary

...

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -3C/26F, calm, sunshine illuminates treacherous paths of choppy water left by two freeze-thaw days – ice sculpture on steroids - Gusta seemed to understand in a perverse way, pulling hardest when one of my feet was hopelessly adrift on a flat icy spot – gesticulating without poise or art, cursing and flailing – it was great; shedding dog and grey rabbit ears suggest winter’s back may be broken, spring signs of life can’t be far off

celebrating – BB’s 10th anniversary of renewed good health, BP’s birthday – congrats; Albertans celebrating Family Day long weekend, Americans celebrate Presidents Day; in short, we need a long weekend break between New Year’s Day and Easter; this is it, so hoist your diet coke in celebration of the signs of life

considering risks, the many things that can go wrong, why would anyone want to get back on a horse after being thrown – of if we’ve never been on a horse, why try at all - it’s just too scary; better to hide out in a quiet place, retreat like a turtle into its shell house

the opinions of others – if I listen to them – guide me to make fewer mistakes, take fewer risks – they urge me to be careful, take it easy, take it safe, think things through; this would be a great way of avoiding trouble . . . and by so doing, avoiding anything resembling an interesting day or life - safety first, dial before you dig, careful, slow, stop, yield, red light, detour, bridge out – these signs of life tell us where trouble is and guide us to avoid it

experience and its synonym ‘mistake’ are not for repeating if they teach us nothing; mistakes prove we’ve tried something, errors in judgment mean we tried to make one, splat means we tried to leap – effort has two eff’s for an effing reason; effort, in every kind of way, brings risk of a pratfall or outright failure every time

someone who avoids risks avoids life, avoids confrontation, avoids conversation or avoids challenge achieves little – I have been all these things and found they do not bring happiness; I’ve also tried calculated risk and reckless abandon – each bring troubles of all kinds imaginable, but either case is more worthy than sitting on a sideline hoping to be called into the game

darkness of tragedy, despair of liness, birthdays whizzing by or the malaise of loneliness are, in ALL WAYS, always defeated by action; bold action, timid action, new direction, new day, new opportunity – green means go

Mark Kolke
339,244
198.0

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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If your comment today regarding, well, keeping your nose out of other peoples business and beliefs ( re. CR’s comment), then I 100% agree with what you said today. I am under the impression CR thinks you are a lost soul with the need for direction, possibly towards religious domination in your life. I have been reading your musings now for some time. Not once have I read this email and come to the understanding you are lost and are in dire need of a change like that in your life. Keep on doing what you are doing. Also, a reduction of balsamic vinegar goes well over top of the tenderloin, depending on the preparation. Glad to hear Valentines went well. MB, Calgary

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Glad your heart day was rewarding. My heart is broken--my dad passed away Jan 31. Expected and a release from his pain; but my heart is broken. My heart is rejoicing--the ring and a date from my best friend. Unexpected and a door into joy. My heart is hopeful. A new job, new challenges and potential new friends. My heart day was rewarding too, SB, Calgary

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You certainly get the strangest of replies. I assume when you set up this venture You knew this would happen. The GOOD with the BAD is life itself. The only light you need too see is the one in her eyes. Keep pumping out the views "T", WT, Calgary

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Just to open a can of worms...if you were to ask me I would say that organized religion is a kind of cult. You must believe what they believe explicitly or you're going to hell and you are ostracized. Christianity is divided into factions- just look at Northern Ireland, so too are other religions. Most preach tolerance, but none actually practice it. I read somewhere: Evil done in the name of good (here read God or enlightenment, if you wish) is still evil, Good done in the name of evil (here read Satan or darkness or ?) is still good. No one should think that they have the right to tell someone what to believe and then threaten them with eternal damnation or whatever their version of hell is. For plenty of people hell exists right here on earth. No matter what you believe in, and who is to say who is right or wrong, in the end all the gods are one. Not embodied by any one image or religion (I could hear the Christians crowing at the one god reference), the Light or the Grace just is. I'll climb down off my soapbox now. I shouldn't let comments push my buttons but it just gets me when I hear the smug thoughts behind such statements as CR expressed. "I'm SAVED, but you're not unless you believe as I do! I must convert you!" Obviously, I am not Christian and I do not need to be saved or converted, so anyone who reads this and has those thoughts should just save their breath and take a long look in their own mirror before breathing on mine. Mark, I'm glad you had a divine dinner with your loved one yesterday. Make every day a day of love. My daily wish for the world is that every living creature have Peace, Joy and most of all Love and enough to eat and a safe place to sleep in their everyday life, NMB, Airdrie, AB

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I was involved in a conversation yesterday where I espoused my belief.. in a nutshell - "anyone who thinks he has the ANSWER for anyone but himself is deluded" This means that GOD is not as limited as human beings and that our attempts to define, codify and prescribe are good in so far as they go but they are HUMAN and therefore, by definition incapable of the perfection necessary to completely provide the ANSWER. This said, I am passionate about pursuing my own path toward Godliness and would not want to judge or limit that for another in any way. I am also able to help others on their paths too... we are all in this together... but also completely unique and individual as He made us. Sorry you had to be disturbed by someone who was unkind and judgmental, CH, Chimacum, WA

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I seem to have been dropped from your distribution list. Could you please add me back on? Still nothing witty to say, BI, Calgary

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I think you are right on target, and I feel sad for people like the person who commented on your site that divinity can only be God. Divinity is everywhere, and the gifts of the universe are everywhere… in the rabbits Gusta chases, in birdsong, in your PB, in the light and play of the shadows, even in darkness and sorrow. Life, love, the world itself is a divine gift. Thank you for sharing the blessings in your life and your mindfulness of them with others!, DH, Denver, Colorado

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: 6C/42F, dawn lit a cloudless sky, rabbits seemed to appear on every street to tease and torment Gusta, I liked walking without my ears covered for a change – nice to hear morning as well as see it

I have no problem with changing mind – changing views when I am convinced by information, feelings and thinking, but the chance of changing my mind because someone told me to would certainly be intervention, though nothing about it would be divine; I have no problem with them, if they leave me be

I have no problem with them calling me down for not believing what they believe as if there is only one belief – theirs – and everyone else is an idiot in some form, because we are all idiots when it comes to the why of life; the zealot, however, is so sure in their belief they behave in ways antithetical to the beliefs they espouse, the mirror is where they ought to look but they don’t because that is when the hypocrisy would be unmasked

one thing always leads to another thing, unless we are tethered to something we cannot move on from – for some people that is a home or a job, or a philosophy, or a relationship or from a path they are following; tethered, enough rope to imply flexibility, but none really - this column could have begun as: the problem with religious zealots . . .

unimaginable thoughts arrive when we least expect – big ones, easy to identify, easy to purge, but teeny weeny ones are a different story – like a grain of sand introduced to an oyster, at first an irritant, much later – a prized gem, the pearl, the treasure – the butterfly

yesterday was ‘as good as it gets’ and more; my valentine gave me a beautiful card and let me cook for her; her request was for tenderloin so I whipped up some surf and turf; many thanks from both of us to those who wrote kind words yesterday . . except for one who paved the way for an insult with a lame attempt at a backhanded complement – to call you a name or dismiss you for having the nerve to draw breath would be extreme, but to leave your comment un-addressed would be wrong

you are not wrong if what you believe is right for you, but you are wrong to the highest power if you think you should call someone down because they don’t believe what you do, tell someone they are incomplete or misdirected because they do not believe what you believe – shame on your slickness, shame on your thinking, shame on you – stop

I have someone in my life I consider divine – not in the religious sense – but to mean beautiful, loving, strong and wise - a sense that is very real to me; I cooked dinner last night, she asked for tenderloin – it was divine

Mark Kolke
339,268
197.6

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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Mark... I hope she recognizes what a gem she has found in you. Lucky woman, PB, CB

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One word to describe today’s musings…. B E A U T I F U L !! Take care and give PB a big hug from me… I am so glad you have such a wonderful person in your life, CFT, Houston, TX

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Mark, Great writing today on Valentine’s Day!, RF, New York, NY

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I was wrong about the title of the book.... "Stars in the Deepest Night... After the Death of a Child" It was written by Genesse Bourdeau Gentry. I hope you have the opportunity to get it, read it and find some comfort there. There is a website in the book... www.iuniverse.com Again my deepest sympathy for you both, JB, Klamath Falls, Oregon

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Happy Valentines Day Mark ..Hope you and your sweetie have a very special day!!, CCC, Calgary

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RE: all the other days - I remember the day the telephone call came to advise me of my sisters’ suicide and how my body bent over, my mind and voice screaming at my loss. It wasn’t my heart that was broken - it was my whole being. No one can know unless they’ve been there. If there is a God, know this: He forgives us for our selfish desire to bring them back and he forgives them for the finality of their desperation, KC, Washington, DC

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I thoroughly enjoy these musings, so thank you for including me on the distribution list. Though I may not agree with all of your sentiments, nor would you expect me to, they give me a moment to reflect and think about the relevancy of your observations to my own life. Your musing Wednesday, for example, coupled with the birthday celebration of a dear colleague (happy birthday, FH), gave me an opportunity to reflect on just how fleeting life is. What we do today is not insignificant. It impacts people and has an immeasurable ripple effect. FH is at roughly 500,000 on your “life countdown” estimation, yet everything she does, whether as dramatic as giving up alcohol, or as small as flying a balloon in the office to cheer her co-workers, has an impact in shaping who we are and what sort of legacy we’ll leave behind... Keep up the good work, Mark! Thanks, Steve C, Boston, MA

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I will only comment on your general observations today for obvious reasons. I too have usually known what I wanted in the love area, but it didn't always work out. What I don't agree with is that things happen for no reason at all. The universe cannot work unless underlying laws are obeyed, even though we do not yet know them. In other words, I believe that eventually a Unification Theory will be discovered, although it may be centuries yet, and that in the meantime, fragmented fields of information will keep surfacing that will permit us to make great strides in understanding. As for a Creator, that presents a greater problem. As has been said, "If God exists, and He created us, who created Him?" I have no answer for that, EG, Calgary

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Mark, you’re an interesting guy with some good thinking and some keen writing skills, but you need to get your head – and your heart – around the good Lord and divine intervention. Otherwise, I’m afraid you’re resigned to wander the hinterlands of musings without every seeing the real guiding light. All the best. CR

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -8C/17F, overcast, fresh breeze hit our cheeks, Gusta found a rabbit she wants to date, I told her to hold out for the real thing with the right fella

pick any Thursday - some people will be rocketing to success in something, some will be failing, some focused on a feeling or someone, but most people will be too busy to notice, too tired to care, too weary to think

for many, love will have grown cold or left altogether; many more will be seeking it today whether anticipating a first meeting or wanting to rekindle old flame by rescuing it from a dying ember – down deep, they do not seek calmness or bliss, serenity or quiet companionship – they seek chaos of feelings quite unlike passion Hallmark ever described

I realize my failures – relationships in many forms, two marriages included, were a place where an emotional wasteland was left behind due to inattention to goals I’d bought into; looking back they may have been goals, but they were not really my goals, not ones I was truly committed to; it took a long time to realize my time spent was not failure but rather a long learning process that brought me to an understanding of what really matters

we get relationships we choose, and we get to choose what kind of relationships they are; the challenge, abetted by (all of us) struggles to communicated fully and effectively, to get on the same page with someone we want to be on the same page with – to find reciprocal joy there – not trouble free joy, tragedy immune joy or everlasting joy – just joy

my goal is to live a vibrant exciting life every day – to be vital, alive and filled with energetic thinking – I am today as I was yesterday and as I expect to be tomorrow; that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my understanding of myself

but . . . ‘a goal without a plan is just a wish.’ – Larry Elder; with Larry’s words to guide me, I see my goal more clearly, because most things going on in my life are not goals at all, they are just plans – some grandiose plans, some freak-people-out plans, but they are plans; I plan to spend my life with you, I plan to move to Maui, I plan to write more, I plan to lead a busy and fruitful life in work and play, at life and at love – many plans; ones that connect to my goal get the best quality of interest and effort

how do I love thee, let me count the ways; is it the intimacy, commitment, passion, a mammalian drive like hunger or thirst?

I don’t believe in fate; I don’t believe in ‘things are meant to happen’ thinking or divine intervention; I don’t believe in relationships being right or wrong or people being right or wrong; I believe randomness gives us all an infinite number of possibilities – opportunities and choices we can make that will determine whether or not we achieve our goal

a year ago I didn’t know you – but you existed; a year ago I chased after you though we had not met; a year ago I was looking for you – here, there – around the corner, under every rock I turned over, every path I took – I was on the lookout for you; a year ago, I thought I’d found you - but you were the right idea in the wrong person; as I often find in my work, some times the deal just won’t work, the fit isn’t right – so we keep on looking

I kept on looking – not for a pretty butterfly necessarily, but looking for the qualities that are you; I didn’t have a shopping list attached to my fridge but should have – instead I was looking for the combo, the full-meal-deal, the blue plate special, the whole enchilada, the big chunk of life, the smoothness of your skin, the brilliance of your eyes when you smile, the laugh in your thoughts, your smile that lights a room even when you step outside, your touch, your generosity of spirit, your sense of fair play, your ability to forgive my shortcomings, your willingness to take a chance on me – and that’s just the main course!

hippopotamus

Mark Kolke
339,292
196.6

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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I couldn't believe the content of your musings this morning. It hit me very personally after last night being very upset with my daughter gor failing two subjects in grade 12 and having to go to summer school this summer - like she said "it's not the end of the world - nowhere near it" how right she is. thank you so much for those words - they have inspired me to try and be a better person - not so judgmental (failure in school doesn't mean a failure in life). MT, Toronto

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In response to BB's comment. It is never a good thing when someone takes their own life. Unfortunately, when someone is having problems, they tend not to say anything as they don't want to trouble anyone with their issues or they are too embarrassed. My uncle had the unfortunate circumstance of finding his 24 year old son hanging from the basement rafters one morning. I felt so bad for my uncle as he is a very nice person and has an extremely laid back attitude toward life, take it as it comes. Well, that is all different now. I just wish he had the opportunity to change his attitude earlier so he could have tried to prevent what happened. BB, so sorry for your loss. I hope you can cope with the outcome. I would like to say I know how you feel, but I can't go that far, MB, Calgary

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I believe that beauty, success and failure as well as many other things are in the broadest sense in the eyes of the beholder. We see, and make a judgment. Making something of oneself should equal self-fulfillment. The difficulty of life's journey is proportional to the height of the goal, EG, Calgary

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To BB, Calgary: Why? is the big question isn't it? We'll never know and I would like to know as I sit and wait for an answer on my daughter's brutal murder. I feel for your son, you and your family. I remind myself each and every day that it is not about me; it is about my poor little doll who is not with us anymore. The horror she must of endured. The agony your brother must have been in. What I do know is that every experience I have had in my life so far was meant to prepare me to endure this loss. My heart is with you and yours, JB, Calgary

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -2C/28F, last night’s snow still blowing to stiff north wind tune under blue moonless sky; Gusta negotiated drifts along the lagoon, plunging shoulder deep, then, still flailing – breast-stroking to get through it – invigorating for her, hilarious for me

beauty, may be in the eye of the beholder, but where does failure live – by whose judgment is failure defined?

critics challenge political foes asserting ‘….they failed to….’ when no one had failed at all; different people with different views approach issues, problems and goals as they do life, from different directions for different reasons with vastly different outcomes in mind – but not one of them would call it failure if they accomplished what they wanted

strong forces tug - geo-political forces, marketing campaigns and politicians wanting their way – strong forces tug at us to be something - parents want children to grow up to be something, as if ‘something’ is a definable goal; making something of oneself is something most of us do in some way – but few people shout if from rooftops; most spend lives of strength, character and purpose in obscurity without recognition, praise or celebrity

life’s journey is different for everyone; for some, arduous, for others it appears to be smooth and easy; obstacles along the way will be plentiful without extra effort from me so as I struggle – trying not to lose sight of goals – tending every-day task flow, making a living, attending to personal needs, family responsibilities, community involvement, friend making, friend keeping, living, loving, cooking, eating . . picking things up, setting things down, flailing, gathering crap or bounty, tending goals – easy to give up, let go or stop – what then gives me (and most of us) the will to go on when others don’t; are they weak, how did they struggle, what caused them to give up, to elect to struggle no more?

weakness does not equal failure, nor does failure mean weakness (ie: the only weakness of a good toothpick is that it is not as strong as an iron nail, but who wants to pick their teeth with a nail?) is not about understanding anything about anyone; sadly, we gloss over or move by most people we encounter without learning very much

in ourselves and in others, we could celebrate effort as much as success, struggle as much as victory, initiative as much as winning - not as antidote for dreams not realized, but as recognition we all have value; we are all icebergs, 10% or less of our substance revealed to the world, remainder hidden beneath the surface, seldom revealed

Mark Kolke
339,316


... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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©2008 MaxComm Communications

I enjoy reading your musing each morning…it usually takes me to a place and time containing my own thoughts of life and love. Live long and prosper…….PB, Port Charlotte, Florida

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Good Morning! Thanks for the words, I needed this. By the by, Thanks ever much for the Tennis, I really enjoyed it, even if the Mexican’s didn’t win. I didn’t have time the rest of the weekend to check. Your gal is lovely! , kk, Calgary

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Took a look at musings today. It has been awhile and coincidently the article about life's purpose and the one earlier in the month about the loss of a child were both appropriate for me right now. I spent the first week and a half of the year on a wonderful vacation but came home to the news that my brother had, the day before on January 11th, decided to end his life. He didn't leave a note and no one who knew him can believe that he would have even considered doing such a thing. No one saw that his problems were anything more then the normal challenges we all face as we negotiate our way through our lives. I have spent much time contemplating the purpose of life or more accurately the purpose of his life. From the outside, his life certainly appeared to have purpose; at the very least he was the involved father of two teenage sons. Yet whatever purpose I, or others, might ascribe to his life, he apparently did not see enough there for him to choose living over dying. His death has been awful enough for me personally but to watch my parents, especially my mother, go through the loss of a child has been infinitely worse. The raw agony. The desperate need to understand why. The overwhelming desire to believe it never happened but knowing at the deepest possible level that it has. The sad reality is that my son has now lost 3 uncles to suicide - 10 years ago his father's brother killed himself and a year later his father's brother-in-law did. I guess at this point I am glad that distance and family dysfunction mean that he was not close to any of these men….though perhaps the dysfunction was part of the reason for the choices they made. Who knows? They are no longer here to tell anyone why they did what they did. I can only hope that my son has whatever it is that necessary for him to always choose life, BB, Calgary

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I'm not sure how I got on it in the first place, but interesting as it is I just don't have the time to read your occasional logs. There is just too much unsolicited stuff out there as it is and as a PR guy I'm probably responsible for a lot of it! Would you kindly remove my address from your Musings mailing list please. Thanks for your understanding, DC, Singapore

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -5C/23F, light Chinook cloudiness, streets are slush, the ridge path was mush, Gusta looked imprisoned as she tried to reach a rabbit thought a wrought-iron fence – metaphor perhaps for encountering obstacles on the way to clearly seen goals

chasing an objective, stretching for a goal needs to be mitigated with recognition there are no guarantees anything today or tomorrow will be in any way like yesterday shocks us now and again – headline shock – then we wiggle back into our comfortable seats of familiarity

‘nothing future will be like anything past’ shocks, is met with reprehension – scoffed at, dismissed, marginalized – not that it isn’t true, but because it is easier for most of us to embrace expectations of tranquility - dull, plodding tranquil sameness seems easier to deal with than anticipation of chaos, randomness, surprise and creative disruption (if you don’t think we are capable, just watch a group of five year olds playing for a while)

sure, we all want to live well, be healthy, enjoy prosperity – in a fairy tale – but look around, life’s not like that, which brings me to my quandary; I enjoy and partake of ‘how to cope with life’s issues’ strategies – we look to insightful books, motivational speakers motive us, Frankl taught us, religion seeks to explain how do deal with life and death and how to live life, but what about the why of life - why are we here, what is our purpose, is there a purpose? . . . if no purpose, why care - if there is a purpose, what is it and how do we live the purpose on purpose; if life is purposeful, what is the purpose of predictability?

in business, stable ones especially, each year is measured against the last, each budget tweaked to reflect expected increases (aren’t we always optimists?) over the previous year – things are always hopefully better, but comforting that they are largely the same, the expectation of steady, stable, routine, continuity etc. – all poppycock

life should NOT be like taking a tranquilizer - nice for a while, but not for long – because it lacks purpose; if you think I’m going round in circles, you are right – go back to the top, start again

Mark Kolke
339,340
198.8

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


What do you think? Join the discussion - comments are welcomed - please write.

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©2008 MaxComm Communications

Is it an occasion we as men, boys, Neanderthals cherish or is it: we as the other side of the coin find we are expected to keep in our back pockets? Mark a word of advise and I have used this in a speech. Take that special person then both stand naked before a full length mirror and look at yourselves and discover what it is you don't like of one another. Be honest! Then move close until you feel one another’s body heat; then simply close your eyes then look once again with your heart. Looking is not necessarily seeing. Imperfection can become Perfection. "T", WT, Calgary

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I have replied a few times to you on the musings email, but have not received a response yet. I don’t read enough as it is, and I made it a point to read your emails every day (including the Facilities and Communique ones which I find quite helpful and informative) to make my brain be more active. Thanks, MB, Calgary

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today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -11C/13F, sunny, calm, Gusta still finding unspoiled deep snow along the alley route to snout plow

I don’t think love and perfection have anything in common; love is an action word of caring that has nothing to do with coloring inside the lines, has no value if its players are flawless like some fairy tale; from where I sit, I see no one as perfect and no one should try to imitate an image of perfection for it can only bring disappointment – I prefer joy

I don’t equate joy with imperfection – I have lots of each, so maybe there is a connection; chocolate won’t fill cracks and flaws, flowers won’t mask reality’s odor, dinner reservations won’t overcome real reservations about real issues – it matters not what we do on one day, but rather what we do all the other days

when it comes it is just a day, one day to live, like any other; what could make one day special that it overshadows 365 of its peers?

I’ve gained an appreciation for being ‘alone on the 14th’ that I’ll not forget; this is my first year in quite a few with someone special in my life at this time of year – for PB and I it will be our first – not our last, not much different than any other day but then, any day is incredible if you want it to be

this week brings out many things in men – chocolate purchases, red roses by the dozens, dinner reservations and politeness; I’ve wondered why, as if those gestures might make up for a year of silence or a hundred snubs, as if they mask the flaws they fear to reveal – but she sees them anyway

flaw – life – imperfection – reality; we are all these things and more, we are all these things and worse - life is full of imperfections, so am I, any day and all the other days

imperfection clings like a cobweb that grabs in the dark – not to be shaken, but to be worn, to relax in imperfection, letting it become a second skin, that insulates from those who might attack any one of my many imperfections - as if to say ‘see, you thought I was hard to take before, well take a look at this’

Mark Kolke
339,364
199.2

... with your voice, teach in order to learn


What do you think? Join the discussion - comments are welcomed - please write.

To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to mark@markmusing.com

©2008 MaxComm Communications