Musing

Your description of your week-end in Regina is pretty close to my job description. I get to be exposed to that environment on a regular basis. I am probably not as keenly observed as your group but always analyzing the presentations and whether or not the message was given and received, PB, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Crazy busy at the office. I don’t have a computer at home, unplugged about a year ago. It was all getting too much, constant emails at the office and then home ........ so now I'm free once I get home, hip hip!!!!!!! If you would like to give me a telephone number, I should be happy to call. Regards, B, Toronto

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Just returned to Florida(home) from a funeral for my Uncle in Michigan---drove my parents so they could attend. Saw and felt some of those sparks as I met with many relatives from the past and living at a distance. Also got a new light on things as I spent so much time with my mom & stepdad; I've always lived close to them, but that means I don't spend days with them like the siblings who travel from afar and stay with Mom. Old relationships, newly lighted, JH in Bushnell, FL

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

-2C/29F, clear, light breeze; my last day of ‘Gusta-less’ walking for a while . . . strange to walk at a steady pace rather than one dictated by her stops and starts; trees with leaves in waiting need heat and light . . soon

time away from norm, from routine, offers the restorative power of fresh perspective; a few days with people we might normally spend an hour a week with offers different views - in some cases enlightening, in some illumination of a different kind; seeing other in action as well as seeing ourselves in different circumstances can be either treat or horror show; sometimes it is just a ‘removal from routine’ to get a grip on what we’ve left behind for a few days

observing people speak, speak of speakers, evaluate, speak of evaluators, discuss technique, review stage presence here and inflection there; of gestures and emotion, of projection, of genuineness, of acting, of performing, of thinking on one’s feet, of thinking out loud, of dreams fulfilled, of dreams dashed . . it is ALL about potential, it always was and it always will be

trees were leafing out in Regina, Medicine Hat too; strong winds and dropping temperatures greeted us as we drove back from our Regina weekend that was mostly treat - inclusive of: 9 hrs riding on the road X2, 5-6 hrs/day sitting in hotel room chairs, 3 hours a day of hotel meals . . not enough exercise, not enough walking around, not enough fresh air, not enough water, not enough time to relax = exhausted and badly in need of a work out but happy for having had an opportunity to learn, to teach, to watch, to listen, to reflect

‘In everyone’s life, at some point, our inner fire goes out. It is the burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.’ – Albert Schweitzer

face to face with someone new, or a call from someone who . . someone who means the world, or a note from someone out of the blue . . or just someone who is blue, or a thought of or a moment, a picture, a phrase, a passing fancy or an anchor in our life; it probably does not matter as much who sparks us as much as ‘that we got sparked’

we all share this thing . . potential; realizing potential, be it in development of a skill, development of a relationship, development of an idea . . . is dependent on two things – fuel and environment which supports burning the fuel whether it is a Toastmasters conference, a gathering of friends, a new spark or an old flame, or a solitary look at our own reflection

as a combustible needs oxygen, people need encouragement and a supportive environment; as business needs initiative and capital, as love needs motivation and reciprocity, as plants need air and water . . the flame burns brightest and hottest when these ingredients come together with the right timing; whether it is a weekend of watching speakers adjust their fuel mixture or friends exploring new ones, of coming home to nice words in an email or a soft conversation . .

we all have the potential to burn brightly, brightest when we bring these ingredients together; sometimes that means re-lighting an old flame, adding new fuel . . sometimes it might be starting with fresh kindling for a flame that gives us heat, gives us light

the past fascinates, entertains and is emotionally seductive . . . but probably most valuable in terms of where we are going than of where we have been - all in pursuit of potential; I believe exploring our past can be a valuable way to better understand ourselves – not in all cases, but some time - to resolve past issues that haunt us, examined with fresh perspective of a ‘new place and time’ , a better approach, a more open stance; we can’t go back . . but that should not mean we cannot go forward from some previous point where we were ‘stuck’; potential is great, but is so much more fun when sparks are flying

whether the heat and light are affecting me or if I am simply watching others it is easy to see this is not a symptom of spring, this is not cause and effect; it is about feeling the heat and seeing the light

Mark Kolke
225,312
205.0


Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

Hi Mark, I somehow am not received your musing, can you please add me back on the list. Thanks, MR, Calgary

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You are so right. We usually just walk by. Good of you to slow down and notice ...... a lesson for us all. Hope you are well, JL, Calgary

[written and published from the Regina Inn, Regina, Saskatchewan]

5C/41F, sunny and calm; my early morning walk on Victoria Avenue heading east from the hotel was not interrupted by vehicles, people or critters of any kind save for a few scrawny pigeons who really ought to be out in a stubble field having breakfast

the 'conference elements' I like most are the people and behaviour watching, the talking
about things that matter with total strangers from places I don't visit . . people I will likely never meet again; it is a great construct for discussing things totally out of usual context;
the education session Shelly and I did was a ton of fun . . and I think the audience learned
some portion of what we did . . ooh-ha . . worth doing again

yesterday was a great day; some teaching, some learning, some listening, some talking, some visiting, some laughing, some eating, some more eating, some more eating and my body started to react about midnight, easing off to minor groaning by wake up time when channel surfing yielded nothing more interesting that Bob Onyschuk on CPAC (watch those ums & ahs Bob); really Bob, you were competing with lots of cartoons, religion and documentaries and still – you were the best thing on the tube .. but it was early

the part of town I walked through this morning – it could be any town or city – was not the best part of town, a place where most businesses are called ‘For Lease’, where the notion of a clean car, a tidy yard or any sign of removal from the poverty cycle is conspicuous by its absence; I think I notice these things most when I am away because when I am at home I don’t go to that part of town – or if I do, I don’t do it on foot at 5:30 AM

traveling, to any place, lets me see things I miss every day in familiar surroundings, but
when I am away, some elements stand out - ones I would be oblivious to in my regular comfort zone; being away is a great way to explore the dis-comfort zone; sometimes our comfort zone needs a re-zoning application; doing it hear is certainly avoidance of NIMBY (not in my backyard) issues

the poor should be helped, the helpless should be lifted up, the destitute should be helped to feed, clothe and house themselves - yeah, sure . .

I/we can all talk a good story, but who gets out there to help them? . . given the help we see in action by governments and community agencies, we need to give our head a shake and wonder if anyone really cares; sure . . we care when it is convenient, we donate money to causes but rarely do we donate our labour, seldom do we stop on the street to talk to ‘those people’

those people live where we live, those people

those people have the same right to opportunity as we do, those people

those people deserve their fair share of the prosperity pie and of our help, those people

so easy to write off the already marginalized, so easy to step around, drive by, avoid and ignore those people

I am neither a social worker, economist or community activist but I know the cost of those people; the cost is enormous; I don’t mean the difference between an economy on which they are a drain vs. the contributions they could make and the taxes they could pay

I mean the cost of a life not lived, the cost of a dream not dreamed – not of a dream not fulfilled, but I am talking about those who cannot dream of having a dream because they live in a place and in a way where it is hard to see how anyone could see a way out

no way out is not just a place on streets in ‘that kind of neighbourhood’, but with so many of us not in those circumstances avoiding it like the plague . . it would be hard to imagine those living there in such circumstances thinking of the rest of us as someone/a group they would want to embrace in any way or form; if there is a state of mind THEY have, surely WE have played a large part in its creation . . and an even larger part in maintaining that as a staus quo

I saw this today without talking to or meeting a single person, I saw it so clearly yet I know when I am in my own backyard I drive by it all the time

Mark Kolke
225,336
204.5

Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

[written and published from the Regina Inn, Regina, Saskatchewan]

3C/38F, early sun burning off that nip in the air, a steady breeze; my walk was not without critters – bold geese and sleeping mallards – along the way

this City is plain and easy; the language is plain spoken (or is that plains spoken), the street called Broad really is, the avenue called College really has one, the view from the 15th floor of my hotel (one of the tallest in this capital city) allows me to see the entire centre of the city, the legislature (see shot below), and the edge of the city where subdivisions meet last season’s harvest remains – the stubble field

speaking of stubble, I better shave and get down to the breakfast from whence flows all events of a full conference day; yesterday was a long drive with agreeable passengers, AW among them; 4 members of our club won the skit contest après dinner last night (congrats to DS, DM, SM & AW) .

winter grime is yet to be washed away, the brick and Tindelstone and stucco have weathered yet another winter, debris hides under hedges and around corners; the morning brings a far off siren sound, so little traffic it seems non-existent

the pace is slow . . this place is the capital of the province; like prairie capitals in provinces and states everywhere, the seat of government is surrounded the state/provincial office of this and that, the collection and culmination of everything that matters there . . though once there was a plan; the spaces between buildings of importance are filled with slivers of other cultures like Korean convenience stores, janitorial companies occupying what were once stately homes – the plan of space and order has evolved to be a mosaic of old, older and really old intermingled with vacant, ‘will develop on this site signs’ and in-fill . . or maybe infiltration of things that come and go; there is not much new here or much need for it . . this place is the hub of activity for a small population of this province that, while humming with economic activity these days, has little need to grow . . but tree buds indicate spring will soon blossum her, again

the day will be full of work and play, laughter and learning; a Toastmasters conference perhaps not unlike many others around the world; a twice a year ritual of the faithful, the regular, the familiar, the dedicated - mixed with the odd weird character, the occasional wing-nut, assorted shapes and sizes of every description and gender including a woman (I think) in the elevator with a better mustache than mine . . of well, the time is come to stop writing and start speaking

"When you talk, you give yourself away. You reveal your true character in a picture which is more true and realistic than anything an artist can do for you." - Dr. Ralph Smedley, founder of Toastmasters

the day will be full of speaking and listening ... and those revelations of character

Mark Kolke
225,360
204.5

Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

‘I am reminded of what we can all achieve, if we believe we can’, A very apt thought. I was thinking very much along the same lines when I chose Division B's theme. I hope you enjoy your time in Regina, at the centre of Division B, for this real three-ring circus of a weekend. Regards, DB, Regina, SK

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Good morning Mark, Enjoy your trip to Regina with my sister AW. I know she is looking forward to it as well. Road Trips can be so much fun, but stay awake and drive carefully, SdV, Edmonton

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A couple more quotes that seem to fit… “A year from now, you’ll be glad you started today” “If it’s to be, it’s up to ME!” Have a great trip (although Regina can’t be ALL that exciting…), NR, Calgary

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Reactions to this weeks' Musings - Remember you can be an introvert who is trying to learn to be more "open" as a communicator. Also - those things which cause us to be angry are usually those things which have touched somewhere close to home, PB, Calgary

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Imagine me with you.....listening intently...watching you speak...but blocking out your voice with fanciful thoughts....Asking myself what journey lays ahead for Us....What is in the realm of Our possibilities? There is a certain Charm & Validity to your musings...You talk of Ordinary & Mundane things in an Extraordinary & Marvelous way...Truly a gift you share with all...You are dynamic...forward thinking....& self confident... .....Just my musings about You, MH, Calgary

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

4C/38F, a brief walk, a dog-less walk (Gusta is at her country club); it seems strange walking without my companion . .

the drama of the last few days frenetic work culminate in a trip to a conference today or a weekend in Regina . . I am reminded of what we can all achieve, if we believe we can, what we can all look for around the corner if we just stick out neck out, our foot forward, our mouth open . . our head out the window . . so to speak:

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it,
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it,
Begin it now." - Goethe

I was calm when I set the alarm for 3:30 . . ridiculous I know, but when it gets late the part of the brain that says ‘I’ll get 4 hours sleep and then get up with energy to do these things in an orderly fashion’ it totally out-to-lunch

no surprise my body overtook my brain, cancelled the alarm so I did not stir till 6 AM

I’m unprepared; I filled the tank, washed the car – I had everything else ready in my head; I worked late, I was going to pack and work and do many other things in an orderly fashion when I got up early . . very early

there is a big difference between 3:30 and 6

my adrenalin . .or something, or maybe it’s the orange juice has got me energized (I am very well rested by the way) to whip it all together in a hurry . .

.. and so I have; departing now to collect the others for our trip to Regina . . happy Friday and pack fast!

Mark Kolke
225,308
204.0


Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

Hi Mark, hope all is well, can send the musing to my personal account only, not my corporate email. Thanks

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Hi Mark, seems spring is in the air -- a time of choices. The time to recognize the limitless possibilites of life's renewal with the turning of the season's, or a time to focus on the dirt and grit that litters city streets with winter's passing. We must be in sync. You inspired me a month ago to start a daily blog, my entry today was about choices and the truth we tell ourselves (or not) about the past. Feel free to stop by and say hello -- the blog is always open. http:recoveryourjoy.blogspot.com, LG, Calgary

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Dear Mark, I want to let you know that I thoroughly enjoy your emails. I don'tknow how I got on the list, but Im glad Im on it. Thanks very much!Regards, SM, California

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Mark, I am enjoying Musings, Warm days are almost here. Cheers, BU, Calgary

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Re: April 24 musing-Mark what did the Bay Street economists say...I would be interested in their view...and your view of what 2007/2008 will be like for Calgary?. It seems that we may be entering a period of uncertainty related to our new found interest in climate change. It seems to be the flavour of the day for the press and politicians. Did any of your reader hear Al Gore...and what did he say that relates to Calgary? Through your group maybe we can get a better understanding of what is really happening around us. The challenge for everyone seems to be separating the hyped messages from the reality. Some of the solutions of the day....without the proper investigation may be worse than excessive CO2. ie. mercury being leached out in our landfills and massive areas of North America's farmland soil being destroyed by growing corn to make ethanol. We know that CO2 can be absorbed by forests but radio active wastes from uranium cannot. It seems that vested interests as usual are trying to shape public opinion and investments. We the public pay with our taxes and health. Then again, maybe it is safer to consider our shower curtains. ...I like mine in too PS I think you would be a great reporter/media person....also was visiting mid and upper state New York last month and the service in the stores there was friendly and great. Not unspoiled by the economic boom, RDM Calgary

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Keep in mind when you talk about "accepting the unfiltered truth", that that truth is someone else's perception of the truth and if it doesn't fit your idea of the truth or your idea of your self then you should not accept it. We should never accept others' 'truths' or ideas without examining them and running them through our value and belief systems first. At the same time, I think we should be open to reviewing our beliefs when it becomes apparent that someone whose values and beliefs we generally respect has a serious issue with something we have said/done and is willing to tell us about it. If it's a frivolous opinion expressed without thought then it likely should be disregarded, SH, Calgary

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

2C/36F, spectacular cloudless blue, calm; we walked the ridge all the way to the end of the park and back; I am dripping with sweat . . either I over-dressed or got a good workout, perhaps both . . Gusta slightly bagged too, so I guess it was a little more strenuous than usual

for most of us, truth is something we talk about, revere and extol as virtuous – we want to be truthful, we want others to be truthful with us; because we want to know the truth, right?

truth is not elusive, but it is challenging to see; I confide with close trusted friends; truths, intimate truths, the most important ones not being recitation of facts, issues or history – but rather ‘what I did and why I did it’, ‘what I said and why I said it’, ‘what happened and how I felt about it’

last night someone, who I now view as very insightful, said they thought I was an extrovert until they read musings, then they came to think of me as an introvert; I asked why; the quick answer, ‘because you think and write’; while KM ‘outing me’ as an introvert neither bothers or offends me, that was the first time in a very long while anyone pointed that out with such surgical precision

I began life as an introvert and will likely never shed its tendencies; I operate in business and social circles where being an introvert does not contribute very well to effectiveness . . so the revelation of that to others is something I don’t show deliberately; I’ve always felt it showed a little in many things I do so I have done a lot of things to compensate for that

last night at Toastmasters in a storytelling speech project I told a story and how I felt about it; one critic, with veiled nastiness suggested I ‘lose my superficial veneer of sincerity’; this got me pretty angry; I took it as a suggestion that I was faking ‘how I felt’ which wasn’t anywhere near my feelings at the time; someone else said ‘best speech you’ve done’; other comments spread out along the spectrum, some offering supportive critique, some whitewashing . . a mixed bag; après Toastmasters I was reminded - thank you friends - that one of my oft-stated desires is to be better at accepting criticism; I’ll have to keep working on accepting the unfiltered truth, especially when it does not fit my perceptions - OK, not always accepting it but at least listening to it without blowing a gasket

people who want true truth truthfully told are rare and, because they are rare, we perhaps find them to be a bit strange [I want to be one but some days I wonder if I can handle it]; I think we skate around it in our language, our style, our boundary protection - not so much that we don’t want to be laid bare for anyone to see us as we actually are, but because we are afraid to be seen that way by our harshest critic – ourselves

self evaluation need not be an analysis of what other people ‘saw, heard and felt’ . . but that of assessing the really important stuff . . who I am, what I am, why I am

Mark Kolke
225,308
204.0


Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

Mark: Probably the reason they place the shower curtain outside the shower is that it looks more balanced...more aesthetically pleasing to the eye when you enter the room!!! Maybe too much analysis. Happy for you...another Maui getaway...but with company. Doesn't get any better than that. Off to La Connor to show them how it's done!!!! Take care my Dear. JH, Kelowna

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I have read I choose a lot, very intrigued with the concept, as to why I have chosen to respond to this. Found this article of yours very amusing. But as always yes you are right we all make choices in life, our lives, their lives, whose ever. I have made a choice to publish my poems, have worked hard in writing and submitting each one, and finally I have been given the opportunity to publish, now I choose to go ahead with it. Hey have a wonderful day, and keep writing, I enjoy reading, TS, Calgary

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

3C/38F, more sunny and warm awaits; our walk was calm and uneventful as folks rush to work while neighbourhood traffic the opposite way brings construction workers to their job-sites, amazing how quickly these homes go up . . too quickly I think . .

the choices I made that mattered most were not the ones I agonized over, the ones with the most dollars involved or the ones supposedly leading to the promised land or to have me laughing all the way to the bank; they were little forks in the road; I met JJ the same day I met many others for the first time; 26 years later JJ, YF & VS remain part of my treasure chest, but why is that . . I met SC the same way I met many of the women I dated over the years . . why did life altering connective tissue grow from those meetings when countless others did not?

I closed deals last year with 30 new clients I’d never met before; this year I’m on a pace to do quite a few more . . but why did THOSE clients and I connect, why did WE make a connection that was beyond the moment, beyond the transaction, beyond utilitarian

shooting lots makes heroes of a Gretzky or a Jordan . . shooting accurately makes you a Nash or a Kurri; in sports, the ultimate life metaphors are everywhere . . ‘Opportunity, you’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take’ . . . ; shooting/taking chances – lots of them – is not AN answer, it is just cute phrasing; in life we do not make right choices simply by making lots of choices; that comes from making incrementally better ones

choices . . like who to like or not to like

choices . . like who to remain friends with for 26 yrs . . who to choose to leave in the past

choices . . like who to be curious about . . and why

choices . . about action rather than reaction

choices . . about when to state your feelings . . about when to sit silently

choices . . about what to attend, when to stay home

choices . . about reaching out . . . about speaking out . . about thinking out . . loud!

choices . . about telling someone who matters what matters about them

life does not happen by chance, but how we live it has a lot to do with combining ‘what we are made of’ with ‘taking chances by making choices’

each day I reach out to connect with certain people . . and each day I publish my musings to nearly 11,000 readers of these musings; some people respond; some people delete, delay, discard or avoid . . others, like you who have read to the end, prove to me I made the best choice I could have this morning

I choose a lot, a lot of the time; yesterday, last night, today . . and I hope tomorrow . . I’ll make better choices by making more choices, many more choices and practice will help me to keep getting better; I like making choices, I like the choices I make, I choose my choices . . . which I think means I choose my quality of life on every level

so do you

Mark Kolke
225,332
204.0


Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

or go to Maui and wander the golf courses till the money runs out... :) OK just kidding..., GR, Haiku, HI

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Would like to meet you when I'm next in Calgary .. have only been receiving your musings for a short while but you do seem like a fascinating chap.. on the one hand all business and investment activity and on the other a gentle yet assertive poet. Know you are super-busy but I will try to give you a ton of warning and perhaps we could meet if only for a few minutes, SH, Toronto

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Hi – well I am nearly done school. Just as I get to what I think is the end, something else comes up that I need to do. Now it’s a portfolio. It isn’t sitting very well with me as they seem so “ego driven” but I can avoid it no longer. I much prefer the power in being invisible. I have dusted and vacuumed for a couple of days. I find it interesting to do my own housework, not something I was familiar with until recently. Working single parents require cleaning people; that was my big treat for years. Where do those dust bunnies originate from? Hope you are well, Cheers, DB, Red Deer

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

1C/33; warm temps and sunshine seem to be getting
coordinated for the same day; Gusta learned shorebirds outrun retrievers; traffic was nuts as 5% normal people wove among 95% idiots driving 10km/hr through a residential neighbourhood; otherwise I'm pretty calm, very well rested, sufficiently caffeinated

yesterday I attended a presentation (thanks MM for inviting me) given by Bay Street economists on their 2007 outlook for the west; MK teased me about my ‘mussings’ and challenged me to write about the event . . so here you are Mike, I did and that’s your 5 seconds

BB celebrates the 55th anniversary of his 9th birthday today; he may not always be wiser than me but he will always be much much older - happy birthday Barry

every time I go into a store (you know the type: big, worldwide brand name, the ones who spend millions on image and advertising) I am amazed how often I experience ineptitude, led by stupidity delivering mediocrity; but, we don't vote with our feet anymore - we put up with it because the product or service or food is 'better than the rest', we put up with it notwithstanding the shortcomings - sadly, we are fostering a society of people who never expect high quality, knowledge, precision or extraordinary service . . we just get numbed into accepting the 'best available' as equating with 'good enough' which is a sad form of apathy

in Britain they use newspaper to wrap fish and chips, many people use newspaper to line bird cages; maybe we should build a fish and chips shop at the Calgary Herald, thereby saving time and energy wasted in distribution - instant recycling if you will

blissfully unaware; yes, I use that phrase and naively stupid fits too; irreparably inept comes to mind as well - a great example of this yesterday; I listened to credible/incredible people representing ‘the Bay Street view of way it is in the west’ to a well informed audience; most audience members (surely they did) noticed glaring errors, omissions, contradictions and assumptions – but when I read about it this morning in the newspaper, without insight or critique, it read like it was all real; the Calgary Herald reporter was more inept than the presenters; they are nice people, but when they spend a few days in the west on a once a year trip they should try learning . . instead of exhibiting how out-of-touch they are; what lesson did I learn?

informed vs. uninformed decision making has as much to do with information quality as it does the decision maker’s capability; as a reader of news we should be wondering ‘did the writer really get all the information’ or ‘did the person the writer interviewed really know what they were talking about’ or ‘did the person who advises the person who was talking to the writer really know their stuff, were they prepared, were the cognizant of the issues affecting that matter’ . . or were they just blissfully unaware ???

smaller focus: do we know if we have the information we need/want/ought to have when we talk to a co-worker, a client, buddy, neighbour, kid, friend, lover, spouse?

easy answer is ‘no’ most of the time; it seems too that the more I try to be really clear in my communication I become more aware of how unclear others are; I don’t think people obscure the truth or the ‘whole picture’ any more than they are blissfully unaware of how incomplete their view might be

my rant is over for the moment; must go supervise the cleaning crew who just arrived to make my place spic ‘n span for another couple of weeks; Gusta relegated to her kennel while they dust and sweep and vacuum; I pay, schedule for two weeks hence . . and then I will put the shower curtain ‘back inside the tub’ . . .

I wonder if, when they clean their own home, if they leave the shower curtain outside the tub only to have a flood the next morning . .
I am conflicted; should I become 'blissfully unaware' . .or should I write for the Herald, become an economist or start a home cleaning service?


Mark Kolke
225,380
201.6

Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

I’m not sure how I ended up on this mailing list, but I’ve been enjoying them. Today’s musing especially hit the spot. Please change my e-mail address on your list from this to XXX Thank you. HSJ, Philadelphia

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Hello Mark, Please add me to your daily list .. I enjoy it very much.., Thanks, CR,?

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Aloha! Yes just say yes! A friend called Friday said "can you play golf with me at Makena CC Sunday?" Normally, since I have not played in 5 years I automatically would say "no". "Yes" came out of my mouth...yes came out all day as we played and had an incredible day! Just say yes to the unexpected...that which we are unprepared for...You got it Mark...once again! Thought of you Mark as I feel golf and you are One :), Peace, GR, Haiku, HI

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

3C/37F, fog burning off to reveal a nice day; Gust off-leash around the lagoon tried to swim out to meet those geese but found the water too cold and my yelling to compelling so she retreated; her little bit of fun is the least I can do since she is off to the vet this afternoon for a check-up and shots

being prepared to be unprepared is a combo of relaxation, being yourself; like a good Boy Scout, be prepared to be unprepared

how do we prepare for the unexpected, the out-of-the-blue things that happen; we think on our feet, scramble for words . . everybody does that; but down deep, in that place where we share our thoughts with no one, down there what transpires?

anxiety; yup . . that’s the problem alright; for you, for me, for everyone when we face an unknown challenge, an unknown opportunity . . so being prepared helps, but most often when we are dealing with anxiety, uncertainty, fear, doubt we have a choice to make – freak out or be prepared to be unprepared

everything else we use, know, do every day is new . . so why do we use old tools to work on today’s anxiety when we’ve grown so much since then; we use yesterday’s tools to deal with today’s issues . . why is that?

be unprepared

be prepared to be unprepared

it’s only scary if you let it be

how about this – be prepared to have fun, have a thrill, have a blast, have a great day, have a great time, do something spectacular . . all those things relieve anxiety

but . . yes, you are right, all those things bring other problems with them like joy, smiles, unbridled happiness, endorphins, low blood pressure, health, emotions, incredible stimulation, sensory overload . . so we should be careful to not cram 15 yrs. into 2 weeks . . . but why not?

and then that creates anxiety . . or not

not if you are prepared to be unprepared; OK, pack a bag . . otherwise, just be unprepared

how much life can you put in a day, a week, 2 weeks? .. how much living can you stuff into every day if you had to . . or maybe you didn't have to, but you wanted to? . . push, shove, tug, squeeze and put in everything you possibly can - not into your bag - but into your life; do it every day, do it for me . . or . . do it for you . . just do it

Mark Kolke
225,380
202.6

Hi Mark, Re Musings of the 21st, the film Out of Africa was one of the callings to take me to Africa....it's a real story, the cottage is real. Awesome to see how RR and Merryl told it, and the cottage as a musem piece near Nairobi. On other stuff, I'm also taking stock of my situation...is it time for a coffee to compare notes? ( my Wed nites are still booked). HB, Calgary

...

So glad to hear about expectations, alot of people don't really know what this means, however one must always put expectations on oneself as it is alot easier that way. There are many reasons and whys we do this, again we are all in need of an expectation that happens to all of us. It is not of other peoples expectations that disappoint me, more than it would be my own. Anyhow read it, felt I should share my point of view on it, like myself I challenge my workout and my running, the expecation is set very high but that's okay as it is my own expectation that is set on myself, I would not expect this from another person, as my goals are set in the same manner to work hard and be committed to what I want and need to achieve. Thank you, reading about expectations not only gave me another look at it, but allowed a response, TS, Calgary

...

long way,,,,,,,,,,,,approximately 16000kms from morningside! ...u see i had to turn back for a little while, .......but the scenery is great,....... as good if not better than maui........perfect weather too, 24c today.....clear sky, no wind, gentle waves .......but,.... i miss the snow, and the slush, and the sky, and the feeling of belonging and the great people i met, and, and, and, .........but, at least i still have your musings!....thanks mark! ................, CG, Cape Town, South Africa (Morningside)

...

You are a wonderful writer...I so enjoy reading your daily musings. Ever consider getting published???????? xo PDL, Lahaina, HI

...

First, let me say thanks for forwarding your column. I spend much of my time musing, but seldom in print. This has been a week for me, a week of changes. It seems that the newspaper that I have worked for the past 28 years, has decided that my department is no longer required. And tho I have been seriously considering retirement from the printing industry, I never considered that the decision would not be mine. And so the musings and what these changes will mean to me. Does my 'job' define who I am, or am I me because of my job? I am filled with many emotions, ranging from elation to fear. My job is very physical, and so will I learn to exercise without a paycheck? And will I be able to handle working more with my ex-husband, who continues to be my business partner? And in my personal life, I have just begun to try this thing---this on-line dating. I am finding it very bizarre, much like buying a pair of shoes without trying them on, or in many cases without even seeing them. It seems that change is on my horizon, both good and bad. I am a quiet person, not one to stir things up. I tend to let life happen, and then sit back and watch. And so.... I spent Earth Day digging in my now defunct strawberry patch. I have gotten as many berries as possible, and this is the year to re-plant. There are weeds everywhere, and lots to do. I try not to be overwhelmed. I am often put off by the needy-ness of others, and would much rather be on my own than settle for someone who did not intrigue me. I want someone who is easy to talk to. For me this is the most important quality, as I tend to be more of a listener. But when I am with right person I come alive. Maybe there is someone out there that will be a fit for me. Continue your musings, as I will mine. I am glad to have Spring here, to get outside and breathe in the mountain air, J, Nelson, BC

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

-1C/31F, overcast, light breeze; Gusta and I walked east for a change, checking on new cells in the subdivision, wandering the hay field that will soon be condos; we saw so much evidence of rabbits and deer and I wonder how they understand this encroachment; Gusta responded reasonably to ‘stay out of the muck’ but my expectations may have been too high

words can mean anything we want them to mean; we can structure them to be smart or crude, witty or lewd, high or mighty; too often we take others at their word to great disappointment – examples being politicians who promise with one side of their mouth while taking away with the other; newspapers with headlines and editorials exalting Earth Day yet come stuffed with 19 kinds of junk mail; is it when words are clever, is it when they are quick and snappy . . or is it when they have meaning or is it when they are meant?

it is Earth Day today . . plant a tree, climb a tree, look at a tree; save, conserve, take care, tread softly; we live in a wasteful wanton world of our own creation and – every time we turn a tap, flip a switch or open a package we are contributing to so much activity that runs counter to our expectations . . . yet when we hear of factory, industrial and waste activities harming water, air and soil we find it so convenient to point a finger at the other guy; our expectations SHOULD be high but those expectations should be directed at the guy in the mirror to change behavior in a way that will really affect something .. it is a good earth, but we are not good stewards of it because our expectations are too low . . not of others but of ourselves

Dickens, the man who gave us Scrooge, Fagan and Tiny Tim, the man who held up a mirror to society, a mirror for us all of frailty and failings, a reflection of our needs, joys and disappointments . . wrote of expectations, not ordinary expectations, but ‘Great Expectations’

the term ‘unreasonable expectations’ is probably used more often than ‘high expectations’ or ‘great expectations’; we live in a world rampant in cynical behaviour . . aided and abetted by our own disappointments when we had high expectations only to be sadly disheartened; when we do is there not something about our heart racing faster, our attention being focused they gives us more than a short term endorphin rush?

I guess, if you are going to have expectations, why should they be anything but great . . and if they are great shouldn’t they be meaningful and meant?

my society, my community, my government, my parents, my colleagues, my neighbours, my fellow citizens, my children - - each in some way will disappoint me from time to time . . but I cannot imagine not having high expectations of them; I have great expectations of many people; I’ll be disappointed more often than not but is that a reason to not have expectations?

mostly though . . on the issue of expectations, I think it matters most what our own expectations of ourselves might be; I think that is the only thing we have a hope of even partially controlling; expectations are not dreams, expectations are not whimsical wishes, expectations are what we expect; I expect things because I have reason to


"Now, I return to this young fellow. And the communication I have got to make is, that he has great expectations." - Charles Dickens

I have expectations, lots of them; some are high, some not so high . . but they are all great;
let your expectations get-up, let them fly wherever you want them to go

Mark Kolke
225,404
202.6

out of africa......now back in africa,........ in cape town as i write this ............your musings today made me feel whimsical......without a destination, there is no journey.....how true,......... yet sometimes the destination doesn't have to be pre destined,........sometimes we are allowed to take a turn that just 'feels right'......go where it leads and then turn back if need be.......i yearn and often ache for what i know is waiting for me down such a turn, .........but have to be content for now, to just enjoy the scenery along the way, .........u are not alone mark, just spring makes us wish for it more.........a hug for u , CG, Cape Town, South Africa

...

No man is an Island...,MM Medicine Hat, AB

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

-1C/31F, clear and calm; a duck-less lagoon is a still mirror, grass is aching to get green but it continues to be blanketed white, Gusta growls at obnoxious looking guy, traffic hums

I have the sound track in my car, I was listening to it yesterday instead of the radio; last night I was watching TV . . the movie is one I've watched parts of many times but always fell asleep through it at one point or another but last night I watched it all . . . Out of Africa . . as much about relationships as anything I’ve seen in a long time – or maybe just because I saw some things I am currently dealing with unfold; actually I think SC is more like Dennis, I a more like Karen . . but neither of us are coffee farmers or safari guides; the scenery of Africa and music I love are gripping backdrops for a story of separation and rejoining, of spectacular enthusiasm – of nothing mundane or inane – just smart dialogue and flawed characters, real characters, endearing characters

if I could have adventures like that I could never complain; I don’t need Africa . . I have Maui, I don’t need enduring love and tortured romance . . but I want it, I don’t need anyone to love, I don’t need anyone to love me . . I don’t need any of this; but I desire it so, it feels so good to feel it so; I am not trying to play out my life like an old movie . . but feel like I am writing a new one from personal experience – part thriller, part romance novel, part ‘the zen of yard maintenance’, part dream, part reality, part impossibility, part Casablanca, part film noir, part black & white, less technicolor than ‘spectacucolour’, less about cooking and about what’s cookin’
I was talking recently with someone who was whining about how they did not have what they wanted in their life, had not found ‘the person’ or the situation that would bring them fulfillment, not found what they were questing for, not expecting to and have resigned themselves to never finding it; not the first time I’ve heard those sentiments, surely it won’t be the last time; maybe some of that was a catalyst for examining where I am, what I have and what I need

‘I need little and want for little’ is cliché; I need lots and want for lots; every day I dream of this or that, wish for more and like a good mouse, I get on the wheel and spin and spin; I sometimes have periods where I seem to be doing just that – spinning my wheels – but mostly I don’t have that kind of experience; I find that I make real progress because of what I will/won’t do, what I am searching for/avoiding, by the desire to say yes being muted with more frequent use of NO; I choose what I allow into my life, I choose what I welcome into my life . . . so do you

I am in need of money and things to take care of the things that sustain me but have no greedy ambitions for wealth but I do have greedy ambitions for having and maintaining a different kind of wealth; a cynic might suggest I lost it and have been living without it so long I’ve gotten used to it . . . so can you

I may never live my dreams but if that is the case it won’t be because I did not pursue them, did not make myself open and available to it; I’ve made the mistake of not being receptive to it before and I resolve never to be in that mode again

I am far from prosperous, but much more comfortable than I have in many years; I am rich with people in my life, rich with things to do I love to do, places I love to be, people I love to be around, doing things I get something out of, things I can put myself into . . . you can too

I don’t know if I am chasing a rainbow, a dream, a fiction, a wish, or a chance to turn back the clock . . maybe a bit of each – but I am chasing something, I am chasing a dream

nothing is certain, of this I am certain; when nothing is ventured, nothing is gained, when nothing is risked there is rarely reward, without a destination there can be no journey

Mark Kolke
225,428
202.8

didn't get my musings today...look forward to it, am in commercial real estate as well and it's such a welcome respite from the constant barrage of other information, sh, toronto

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

-1C/30F, overcast, more snow overnight and a predicted high of +3 and more snow is not very encouraging; the snow wet, just right for snowballs but wind and the morning hustle has everyone driving through slop to work instead of playing outside

thanks to those who chimed in with supportive wishes - yesterday was a frenzy of calls and confirmations . . the trip is booked and excitement is in the air; SC is happy too as and she should be, celebrating a milestone birthday today

my prep time this morning was augmented by a mixture of car-warming-up sound pierced by rhythmic windshield scraping . . there must have been five people within fifty feet of my window all scraping at the same time; it may not 'read' as exciting but watching it here was quite amusing . . all that was missing was a conductor on a stool to coordinate them playing
outside; but as I watch those faces grimacing over a little snow and ice that might make their drive to work a few minutes longer I was sitting here, looking out at them thinking - why do we live, love, work, play, die ?

I don’t ask this as a spiritual question – though many do – but when we get so involved in our daily lives that we miss the ‘perfect snowball opportunity’ or the chance to give/get a laugh or a smile – we have to spend some time thinking about why we do what we do, or why we don’t do what we don’t do

every morning I look at my list of desires (18) and unique talents (14) . . [the coaching of Deepak Chopra recommends it highly and so do I]; my lists have remained static in recent years, the last change being Jan./05 when I added 3 to my desire list: 'to be receptive to advice', 'to be receptive to critique', 'to live in Hawaii'

otherwise no changes in my sense of what drives me, but I’ve been pondering one of them . . ‘to have someone to love’ wondering if my interpretation of that has changed at all over time; the people in my life who I love are many – the scope, degree and perspective varies with each person I love because I love them in different ways; in recent days I’ve been re-visiting this; in my mind the need to be with someone often, to see them often is not a critical ingredient – why can’t we love someone we’ve only met twice or someone who we haven’t seen or talked to in many months, why can’t we have a strong two-way tug with someone thousands of miles away?

why not?

exactly!

love is not lifestyle, love is not whimsy; love is experienced 1 person at a time but so much sweeter when it is 2 persons at a time, with each other of course

when we are younger so many things cloud our choice-meter, so many things influence our decisions and our indecision, so many things affect us as we affect others; when we are younger our ability to communicate is encumbered by so many things

as I get older I get better at some things; some through practice and some through having fewer distractions to hinder my view of what is truly important

YES it is important to be loved but far more important is to have someone to love and care for; it is nice if they love you back, care as much, feel as much . . that’s the old reciprocity question or maybe it’s the reciprocity answer

playing outside . . outdoors, outside the box, outside the lines

I am today, like every other, pursuing opportunities when I see them and trying to create them where I don’t – I do it in pursuit of my desires, I do it using my talents, I do it because it is my life, my way of life, my pursuit of life and what I love to do

I don’t know much about medical issues of physiology but I know that ‘lack of use’ of a limb or a skill can cause muscles to atrophy . . to wither from lack of regular use

we all know of thighs, biceps and the heart as muscles; the more exercise they get the healthier we are; I believe our emotions, desires - our passions, our thrills, our zeal, our relationships, our feelings for others and our feelings for ourselves need this kind of
regular exercise too - perhaps they need it even more; we don't have to look very far to see faces of people going by looking tired and glum first thing in the morning, while we see others grinning ear to ear at the end of the day with a spring in their step leaving many people wishing 'Id like some of what he/she's got going on'

I’ve left some muscles idle for a while . . . it is time to get them back in shape

Mark Kolke
225,452
201.8

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

1C/33F, overcast, we walked the entire length of the ridge this morning; a nice coat of snow on everything but the paved path was wet so traction was our game; nods, grunts and smiles from three owners who could not muster ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ but their dogs sure wanted to engage in conversation – Gusta mingled with the mongrels, sniffed the terrier and the poodle – the air fresh, invigorating

well yesterday I did – yes, I do read what I write; yesterday’s writing about SC stirred me to some action; I recognized I have not been stretching, have not been walking my own talk

I listened to my own advice yesterday; not just borne of so many times that I’ve been asked 'so why aren't you two together?'; I don't have the answer to that , other than to say, in many ways we've never been apart; though we've each been involved in long term relationships, we've been thousands of miles apart but so much between us never strained (OK, almost never), never broken, never needed to be fixed; some things do but some of them don't seem to matter the same way they did so long ago; rather than thinking about so long ago, I'm thinking about so far left to go

so we talked . . and talked

and talked and talked and talked some more

many delicious moments we can never forget; painful memories too, but not many

I hung up the phone, did some work – then slept easily and smiled as I drifted off; we know each other so well already, but there is so much new to learn

every day I play, rant, pontificate and advise others what to do with emphasis on acting on feelings but often I realize my words are not matched by my actions; I talk a good story but don't always follow my own advice; maybe a lesson to be learned here, or maybe one to be taught; not for everyone but for some is that searching for things can sometimes distract us from incredible things we already have

the passage of time; each 365 ¼ days we count another one; each 10 is a decade and each day could look in the mirror and ask how many of those we have ahead of us, we could wonder how filled (or not) they will be with the good health and good laughter we want, the joy we want, the ventures and adventures, the thrills and spills we want, the vitality we want

it is cliché to say that many people have so much going for them if they would just stop for a minute to realize they already have so many of the things they are so busy looking for; in one way or another I’ve told that to many – many, many times but I don’t recall sitting in front of a mirror when making those comments, telling it to myself

now I have

here is my thought for you – is there someone you are close to but there is distance between you? . . distance can be a hollow tunnel of air down the centre or a bed or it can be thousands of miles or dozens of months . . think about bridging that distance with the same zeal with which we build new bridges to new people and new places

Mark Kolke
225,500
201.8

Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

Thanks Mark, I got 'em today and again can identify with what you say, you are putting into words the common feelings and happenings of life..I really like it, JH, Bushnell, Florida

...

I want to take this time to remember the families, students, staff and faculty at Virginia Tech. They need our prayers, thoughts and support at this time of crisis. I am proud to be on the Board of our own Canadian Mental Health Association whose mission is to work with people with mental health illness and addictions. We are supportive of our federal Government's direction to implement and fund a Commission on Mental Health. It will be headquartered in Calgary. Every 1 out of 5 people in Canada alone will experience some type of mental illness or addiction in their lifetime. Mental health depression alone affects our own economy by $33 billion annually!, Regards, BC, Coaldale

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

2C/35F, lagoon waves nearly suitable for surfing, chilly wind seems colder just because snow is predicted; 4 pairs of Mallards out there today, no geese around, no dogs around, just Gusta and me while traffic hum was drowned by equipment working nearby – like giant Tonka toys loading and moving dirt, operators no doubt overgrown kids like me who remember mindlessly making noises pushing them around on dirt piles when we were 4 or 8 or 14 . . or yesterday

when I go to the gym or when I talk with running friends . . there seems to be a lot of time and discussion spent on stretches, on stretching – about the wisdom of it and the pain associated with working out too hard without the right kind of stretching before and after; they tell me stretching is good for us all

each morning Gusta does these enormous stretches . . it seems she is 7' long from toenail to
tailtip when she does - the she returns to normal but for a minute she looks monstrous; I wonder if the 'big stretches' we all take make us larger for a while; do the efforts we make stretch us to be bigger, better, stronger . . or are they just exercises?

yesterday at my dad’s place; a nice visit doing his taxes - I really need to spend a day or two there helping him organize his paperwork; he has so much he needs to toss mingled with current things and old treasures; he makes sure he doesn’t lose anything important by not throwing out anything . . . stretching out the process of finding anything, making it an exercise that involves looking over and through so many old memories, stretching out the process . .

I wonder if I am that way sometimes . . so focused on capturing what I need in the moment that I let an accumulation of old stuff, trash and extraneous junk make it harder for me to find the treasured things I mean to keep; he is too old to learn new ways . . but then again, he asked me to help him get things organized . . new for him (stretching!!) . . asking for help; maybe I can learn something there, or maybe I'll have to wait till I am 84, but I think I can do that stretch now

what 'could have been', what could have been? . . no knowing what could have been?, but if we'd stayed together , then it all would have been different - apart, there is so much we've done, experienced and enjoyed all these years and we still have a treasured gift of each other and we will, forever and always

I’ve never had a better stretch .. it was a long stretch many years ago; we’ve stretched before, we’ll stretch again; last night we stretched a little more . . it wasn’t a long chat but I feel warmer having had it; the experiences I gained in 18 months were partly about learning someone, knowing them, knowing their quirks, their moods, their ‘stuff’ . . so well that 15 years or so later we can each call the other any time; anytime the discussion can be short or long, deep or shallow . . meaningful or fluffy; each time we connect well or poorly there is an impact, each time we reconnect after an impasse there is a sweetness, a softness, a magic that is like a soothing touch from an old friend, like the warmth of a soft blanket on a chilly day – SC and I had such a chat last night

big stretch

if you have a treasure in your life; friend or wife, buddy or husband, current or previous . . then you know the kind of treasure of which I write . . . amid all the things that are/were wrong, amid all the button-pushing that did/does happen, in there, in between the cracks there is a magic that is/was pure and clean and fresh and magical; I often find people toss around terms like partner and soul mate like they are platitudes on a greeting card but when I talk to them they’ve not in touch with this thing SC and I have, when I talk about it I am often asked ‘why aren’t you still together?’ or ‘why don’t you get back together?’; they don’t seem to understand that sometimes we find something so magical with someone we love that those are not the important questions at all; those are the contrivances of living arrangements rather than loving arrangements

big stretch

sure it's a big stretch, doesn't happen often, doesn't happen for everyone - my view is that it can if you want it to, it can if you find the person you can have it with; my guess is that most people over 30 have such a treasure in their lives; they may not have nurtured it, may not have cleared away the junk, the trash and 'stuff' that block their view of it . . all you need to do
is hold it in the palm of your hand or in your pocket or in a picture frame or on a chain around your neck or in your left ventricle . . wherever you keep treasures close and safe from harm

big stretch

one of these days soon, maybe here, maybe in Maui . . somewhere . . I’m going to plant a rose garden again and tend it better than I did the last time

stretching before and after is good for us all, imagine how good enormous stretches might be; c’mon now . . big stretch, enormous stretch . . feels good doesn’t it


Mark Kolke
225,500
201.8

Responses/comments welcomed; send an e-mail to musing@maxcomm.ca – please give me your feedback.

Musings posted daily@ http://markismusing.blogspot.com
You can subscribe (free) at any time; write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 Mark Kolke, all rights reserved.

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

2C/35F, overcast; the light breeze brought deer scent to Gusta’s nose so off we went, my left arm in tow, the hot pursuit dragging my body along the trail into the park but once we got close enough that the tiny sounds of getting my camera ready – or maybe it was just the few seconds it took – were enough time for the two of them to slip into the bush . . gone from view for now to reappear when we least expect it

gone from view for now to reappear when we least expect it; consider if this is the case with someone or everyone in our lives; if so, what do we do about it?is it too late to explore getting acquainted, is it too late to say little things and ask to connect?is it too late to pretend I am really interested . . or should I admit that something superficial got my attention more than anything else, that a hope/wish/expectation of response to my initiation fuelled that a bit . . but . . time (this could be a moment, a day or years) and distance (this could be thousands of miles or the distance it takes to tap someone on the shoulder or a point'nclick) seem to separate us . . is it too late . . or too soon or just wrong, or just right?

but, be careful, if you respond (or are responded to) with interest or an invitation to meet again or to visit might get a yes (I prefer to say yes more than no, I think most people do) . . and so might he/she that you wonder about; people are like those deer sometimes, they cross our path, catch our interest . . . then they are gone before we had a chance to look – sometimes we need to stop them, in the moment, get to know them better, say things like ‘tell me about _ _ _ _ _ ‘ or explain ‘You’ to me; all we need do is ask

but mostly we don’t; we have interesting people . . they could be business prospects, friend prospects, love prospects . . but they all have two things in common; first, they are on our horizon, like those deer on this morning’s path, sometimes gone before we get a chance to capture the moment; second the ‘timing’ comes and goes swiftly – the chance to say this or question that, to pose a question, to reveal a trait, to be bold, to deliver a surprise or to receive one . . is a fleeting opportunity, the ‘timing’ of that moment lost forever

lost forever moments are everywhere; they are epidemic and the loss of so many of them is a sad loss of fulfillment for most people – so take the chance, risk it

say something, do something, suggest something, challenge someone . . just do it; the doing exposes ‘who you are’ to someone but the response/non response, the questions/objections and reactions tell you tons about that other person . . so quick and easy to be taught tons of lessons about someone – the results draw you closer or repel you, the results teach, the results offer insights, the results often disappoint

results can produce a spectacle worth all your being, but would you know; how can you tell the ‘moment’ that will change your life from just any old moment going by?

we delude ourselves into thinking we can tell, that past experience guides us well, that some technique from a book or recommendations from a friend or colleague will help – poppycock – chance and opportunity mingling with two unconnected minds hurtling in opposite directions is what produces ah+ha moments, yes‘nyes moments, high moments, sizzle moments . .

yesterday I chose to experiment with three people . . two ran the other way, demonstrating that alignment in our thinking was a delusion, one opened up like a magic box of excitement on Christmas morning – he taught me a lot and I learned volumes about him; not because it would lead to some business or to more business . . but because it interested me, he interested me and a connection became different in the process (a long time muser, client and NEW friend, BT, not only proved the point I make this morning . . he took some time to show me some things about himself, his company, his product . . and in so doing gave me a gift of some knowledge I could not have gained any other way) ..

so often we think we know people – we have their number, we cross their path, they sit at the next desk, the next department, the next table in the coffee shop; they stand in the next checkout line, the next zag in the zig zag at the bank; they are our neighbour, they park in the next stall . . . or we have known them for ‘what seems like forever’ but we admit to ourselves that our knowing them is superficial, shallow, perhaps widely diverse . . but not very deep, it is fleeting, it lacks interest or commitment, it lacks verve or emotion – for many of us these are indeed strangers, for some they are spouses, siblings, parents or children . . . the appearance of proximity is far removed from closeness

start soon, not because it might be too late, but because not doing it might be living too little

Mark Kolke
225,524
203.0

Sometimes 'procrastination' can solve a lot of problems, JB, Calgary

...

That's me ~ Still Waters Run Deep...I love swimming, frolicking in the pool, solo showers...Playing in the water when I wash dishes by hand...On a hot day running the water from the outside hose over my bare feet...Water fights...lol...No expectations=No Disappointments, MM Medicine Hat, AB

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Watch out for the waterfall...white water is exciting...it is the waterfalls we all have to look out for!!! They are the unforeseen/unanticipated events in everyone's life, RDM, Calgary

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:-) :-), B?, Toronto

...

Interesting, LR, Calgary

...

Water-girl here. Tranquility Bay...a ferry away (from Horseshoe Bay, B.C.) Nine women, ocean walks, a catching-up of lifetime-talks, hot-tub secrets, seafood & shiraz. What better way to spend our birthdays; best friends from kindergarten forward...all celebrating '50' in '07. Tranquility Bay will remain the same; that's why it's such a beautiful & fluid spot. And, Alexis -- the resident golden retriever says...woof, Bebe :), Calgary

...

My first contact with your musings has been very satisfying. You have taken the stream of thought and very nicely followed its ebb and flow while physically you were still. Being still allowed to paint wonderful word pictures of your surroundings and at the same time relating with total awareness the processes moving through your mind. I like it a lot--look forward to reading more, JH, Bushnell, Fl

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

5C/41F, cloudy and calm here with a soft blue Chinook arch of open sky exposed, the lagoon water forms a clear still mirror this morning interrupted only by take-offs and landings of ducks and geese somewhat resembling an airport, all of them using the north/south runway this morning with webbed feet meeting that mirror like up-turned water skis

I am not a water baby; I don't swim, boat or do sports in the water . . . but some of my happiest times are very close to the water - sometimes walking a beach in Maui with waves crashing all about or just standing by a still lagoon across the street gives me cause to pause, cause to stop, to be still like that water

still waters run deep they say . . . today they are just still

still, standing still; standing still is an action, a choice, a decision – when I stand still for a while I often see far more than when I am in motion

no effort from me required; the world spins round at its steady speed while this water stands, motionless as the earth that surrounds it, perhaps message as much as reflection; reflection of my place, my mood, my needs, my morning, my day

sometimes movement and action are not called for; not for long but for a little while standing still is a good idea; in part it is about inaction, in part it is about patience - and so too, it is about reflection

standing a while by still water, watching it go nowhere at all, fit my pace this morning; the water seems in sync with my mood, my need for tranquil today following a busy couple of days and an all-nighter, I need some still calm time later . . the choppy water can come back tomorrow, my batteries

emails wait, messages are noted and six files stare at me, each begging action this morning – each one could be a little rapid, a little white water waiting to happen, but they sit still on my desk while dozens more are in the next room, idling too; by the end of the day they will all be calmly dispatched, filed, piled and ready to greet tomorrow; but for today we need the calm

smooth water is tranquil but smooth, smooth water is trouble free but smooth, smooth water is uneventful but smooth, smooth water is never going to move anything or anyone to action because it is smooth, smooth water meets its shore without a ripple or force or an erosion of anything . . it is simply status quo

roaring rapids scare me, but I think choppy water is the most stimulating; choppy water keeps wits sharp, keeps me wary of navigational obstacles, hazards and changing conditions, waves wave at me while keeping me alert to ever present dangers

already this morning my slower pace has solved two problems . . so if I wait till noon to move this mouse and keys maybe I’ll solve some more . . but slowly, very slowly

Newton described laws of physics that dealt with bodies at rest and bodies in motion, but I think Archimedes is my man today . . he did his best work in the bath and the sauna; water was involved but he was still

hey look, over here . . I'm still here, I'm here still

great things my happen today; not because I am still but because I can be

Mark Kolke
225,548
202.2

So, I see I wasn’t the only one. How come the womanizer comment didn’t get in the replies? You shouldn’t take anything any of us say too much to heart. Who do we think we are, anyway? At least you have the guts to put it out there. I really liked your musing today, Mr. Mush, and don’t worry about it. You know what’s in your heart, SB, Calgary

...

You seem to be causing controversy. All those women too little time….. or what was it you said? I know that I enjoy all the banter. “The ego doesn’t want to be ordinarily miserable, it wants to extraordinarily miserable! Either this way or that, one wants to be the first. Hence one goes on making mountains out of molehills” – OSHO . . Hope you have a sunny week. Cheers, DB, Red Deer

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

4C/38F, overcast, showers likely; lone Mallard male paddles across the lagoon while Gusta wonders about her swim skills only to watch him fly away, no doubt to distract us from noticing his nesting mate

my youngest daughter Krista visited yesterday; we introduced her fella to his first leg of lamb before heading out to a movie . . visit quality is never determined by the amount of time spent, but by the quality of the hug at the beginning and hug at the end

meet someone, anyone, with an open mind in your head, palms open to shaking their hand, arms open for a hug . . imagine, just imagine, how you might make someone else feel to say nothing of what you do for you . . . just try it; every time I meet someone new I have the eager anticipation of a curious five-year old, the patience of a fifty-five year old, the energy of a seventeen-year old; a 3-way approach; what happens for you when you meet someone new? . . are your palms sweaty, are you anxious . . nervous?

any given week I probably encounter people in these ways on the phone, by email or in passing in a large group; most of us encounter countless people every day, every week - they are in line with us at the grocery store, they are across a counter or in the next lane of traffic or the next call in or out; strangers nearly all . . some will stop to say ‘hey, lets get acquainted’ while most pass on by as we do – never connecting, never exploring each other, never knowing the depth of each other, never knowing if there was potential for knowing yet another person, and knowing them well - what do I know of them?

someone challenged me the other day - at first it sounded like a taunt I've heard before; it was a woman I've never met writing to tell me the reason I am having trouble finding a suitable partner is because I was not associating with the right people, that I was some kind of scoundrel and, yes, she used the term 'womanizer'; I've had that kind of commentary before but I've rarely had it from anyone who knows me particularly well; that could simply mean that my friends are kind and withhold such comments . . on the other hand it might be because they know a more complete view of me; the burr under my saddle this morning is not an issue of any one person seeing me, my comments, my writing or my motives any particular way - that is up to anyone to choose their view based on a particular vantage point

I have (don’t all writers?) a 3-way split personality; on one hand the ego-driven desire to be praised, admired, adored, respected for our skill cobbling word sets together; on another hand, the desire to be a fly on the wall . . anonymous to those I might write about, anonymous in a crowd, better than a fly on the wall – to just be the wall; on a third hand, the self-doubting pile of mush succumbing to the cowardly critic who offers nothing new, the critic who fails to argue an alternated point of view, the critic who flings dirt when nothing dirtier is available to fling

at different moments I love this 3-way thing, or I hate it; I remember reading about and watching interviews of highly successful writers (Peter Newman comes to mind) who became reclusive when they got a bad review - confidence deflated by the skewer of one or two naysayer voices without considering that others didn’t, 6 billion people said nothing, most did not care, but because one person spewed bile, that 3-way monkey appeared on his (my) back

I know how I feel . . but often wonder about others; sometimes it is someone who reads this daily column saying ‘hi, I would like to meet you’, sometimes it is someone I encounter along the way who says they read musings . . or they have read something else I’ve published – they want to say hi, they want to connect - we have not met, not shared a handshake . . we have talked so briefly it is hard to say we have talked much at all

they might be on-the-money or way off on another tangent, but we never really know until we meet and explore someone but whether or not we ever do, . .

impressions have been formed; the most significant people in my life did not appear that way when I first met them, but looking back there was ... in each instance ... a spectacular impression of some kind in the beginning - like 'the' great golf shot that keeps us coming back for more, I pay attention to those impressions and find them unforgettable

some people fit us like a very soft kid glove, some like a catcher's mitt, some like a Glad garbage bag; far more important than finding 'the' person who could be all things to me and I all things to her, I am interested in meeting someone who thrills the curious five-year old AND the curious fifty five-year old AND, perhaps also thrills the seventeen-year old


Mark Kolke
225,572
201.84

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Musings posted daily@ http://markismusing.blogspot.com
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©2007 Mark Kolke, all rights reserved.

Mark ............I read your musings today and am thrilled and enthralled by the content ..........and do look forward to tomorrow's..................I wonder........Warmest wishes..........., LR, Calgary

...

So, "STOP, pay attention, listen, learn". Maybe there's something there to learn and maybe there isn't, only you can know that. From your musings you seem like the kind of person who is not afraid to look yourself in the mirror although it seems that sometimes you need to be turned towards it. So turn and look and see what you see, SH, Calgary

...

I unsubscribed for a while due to work and health related issues but now I'm back on the scene and would like to hear from you again. I do hope that all is well with you. Here in the UK we're having a massive heat-wave. I suppose it's a grim reminder of global warming but it's disguised as perfect spring weather showing the countryside off at it's prettiest. Best wishes from Shelagh, SK, Suffolk, UK

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

7C/44F, light breeze under a Chinook arch, birds breaking the quiet though the neighbourhood and park . . spring is absolutely here, as Gusta met a frisky handsome lad (German shepherd/golden retriever cross) - I advised her that sometimes the best candidates show up when we are not looking but that for now we should keep walking because he is READY and she is not

I am protective of my girl, as I am of my daughters . . but it is not for me to determine what they are READY for or not; that’s their job . . speaking of which, daughter Krista and b-friend are in town; I’ll be seeing them later but for now I must scramble out the door to our Toastmasters Division C contests to cheer on my friends . .

not wishing to fuel a debate around reactions in recent days to an innocuous (and I thought funny) comment . . I must add one comment

if we live life without wild expectations, without a thrill on our mind, without motivation to explore the ultimate in fulfillment of those expectations – they could be personal, professional, social, family issues – then what will we find, what will we achieve?

if I am just waiting for life, joy, love, fulfillment to come around the corner and knock me on the head . . I might wait a long time; but, if I am doing that so fervently that I am not paying attention I might miss it when it comes along

I strongly believe, that however we find what we seek – that we will never find anything worthwhile, fulfilling and life altering unless we are READY for it, READY to notice it, READY to seize the moment when it arrives, READY to throw some caution to the wind, READY to be open, giving, real and caring, READY to embrace it . .

the next call, the next e-mail, the next chance meeting, the next introduction . . might be the key, the first step, the inspiration, the answer . . to my questions, to my needs, to my desires, to my aspiration

I think I’m READY

are you READY ?

ready or not, we are bombarded by life every moment . . . we choose what we bite into, that which we let pass by, but first we need to be ready . . . so get ready

Mark Kolke
225,596
201.8

Re: "asking for and getting dispassionate critique is difficult, getting it is harder still . . but when it shows up, STOP, pay attention, listen, learn" . . . So true, I'm a Libra and don't take criticism very well at all. My first response is to get my back up and claws come out. But then I mull on what has been said to me, think it over. Try to learn from it. See where it applies in my life and try to do better next time. Lifestyle choice... What's with SB's comment?? A woman scorned perhaps?? And as to what you said to me the other day, no I'm not chicken. But perhaps I wasn't being the real me either. And the real me is worth getting to know. It all started on Oct 12th, 1959 in Blytheville, Arkansas..., MM, Medicine Hat

...

Your Musing today made this response "mandatory" for me. I did think seriously about your April 12 (good for you) edition. It was a plea to my conscience to get on with doing something that I was avoiding studiously. So, when I opened today's Musing and saw the "if only one person did" comment, I had to let you know that I have booked "one of those" appointments. I hope that your results are all 100% good, and that you can happily and healthily go on Musing for many years to come. I know that I certainly intend to be reading them, with as much enjoyment as I do now. Please keep up the good work, for all of us "out there, in cyberspace", JN, Newmarket, Ontario

...

Just had my physical last week. Perfect results for now. VBL, Englewood, CO

...

Guess I have missed something in my busy schedule...best go back and read the Musings I missed! Enjoy the auspicious :) day, GR, Haiku, HI

...

Was it really that bizarre? I look forward to seeing if anyone has comments as well. I don’t really think you’re a slut, you know. Let’s eat shrimp soon. I’m going to Kelowna myself from the 18th – 24th. I haven’t been in ages and I’d like to see my friends there. I’ve been meaning to for quite a while now and I guess your trip got me thinking about it. How about when I get back?, SB, Calgary

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

-1C/30F, bright sunshine, calm . . a ‘hot one’ ahead; Gusta enjoyed the change of scenery as we went over the ridge and deeper into the park than we have been for a while, no remnants of snow is sight

as for my comments yesterday (including the bizarre response from SB), I am just wondering if anyone picked up the phone to book an appointment, stopped to re-consider a health or lifestyle choice; that was my only wish . . if only one person did, then it was worth it . .

few people are as gentle as AI, from Idaho . . few are as kind, as generous of spirit, as full of life and laughter; she lives a life of books, bears and spirituality that could give us all pause to reflect on what matters most . . and she has certainly been a valuable friend to me; she’s having a birthday on this auspicious Friday . . happy day Ann

last night I had a revelation

it was not something anyone did, or that they failed to do

it was not something I did, or that I failed to do

it was what I had not been seeing

why do we not see the obvious when seeing the obvious seems so clearly visible to everyone else?

this morning I am smiling at a couple of things that were pointed out to me last night after I gave a speech . . . clearly obvious to someone listening to me for 8 minutes, a couple of those points have been there . . but I have been obvious to all along, for many years; they must have been because a total stranger picked up on them right away while I had not seen them that way at all - until now

OK, not 'totally oblivious' but these were issues I thought had long ago been dealt with sufficiently - but I was wrong; my point is that I believe we all have these elements - needing someone to hold up a mirror that does not show us as we see ourselves, but as others
see us; when that happens we need to look hard, listen deep

learning happens when it happens; there is no planning it, no preparing for it, no scheduling it – but I think chances are pretty good that the best learning will come from sources we don’t expect, it will come when we least expect it and it will be more powerful than we think possible

asking for and getting dispassionate critique is difficult, getting it is harder still . . but when it shows up, STOP, pay attention, listen, learn

reflect, then learn some more

repeat whenever you get the chance

Mark Kolke
225,620
200.8

After reading your musings since last summer, I have some sense of you. When I first started reading, I really thought you were searching for a soul mate but I’ve been thinking for awhile now that your search for the perfect mate for yourself is an excuse to go through as many women as you possibly can. You said today, “so many women, so little time”. If a woman were doing this, she would be thought of as the worst possible kind of slut. . . . didn’t miss the point at all. I’m a slut too or at least was ha ha. For some reason, I find myself wanting to needle you. Not sure why. Maybe I’m jealous, SB, Calgary

...

Good Morning Mark: I'm assuming the "probing session" went well...the usual suggestions for improvement were offered & you are good for another year!!! I was flattered to be included in your written word today. Still feeling mixed emotions about the "fantasy weekend". I guess you are correct in that "timing" is key & in this instance the key was misplaced! Sending good thoughts to you ,my Dear, JH, Kelowna

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

-5C/23F, clear sunny day ahead; Gusta’s goose education made progress this morning as the closer she got, the more they honked – the more they honked, the more she wanted to get closer and this was when Gusta learned that thin ice by the shore does not support a 65 lb. dog, a chilly swim followed . .

I once was athletic (youth), had a ravenous appetite (youth) and was invincible (youth); I’ve not lost these . . athletic (pushing myself away from the table), have a ravenous appetite (so many women, so little time), and am invincible (I’ve learned that the more I shine the brighter I am), but confidence alone will not give me security in the one thing I cannot buy or cover with a line of credit, my health

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. “ - Mark Twain

“If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself.” - Leon Eldred

I get the same queasy feeling visiting the dentist; I’ve read enough to know this ‘fear of going’ and ‘fear of hearing the news’ is not uncommon among men my age; I expect the stats about the ‘postponed check-up’ are connected very much to these fears

memories of trying to avoid foul tasting medicines, cod liver oil etc. as a child always came with the 'because it is good for you' reminder; there are few things in life that humble us, reduce us to the basic elements of our being more than a trip to the doctor; I don't think the behaviour of middle-aged men in this regard is all that unique ; it's just a trip to the doctor ... and it's good for us

what I like least about visiting my doctor is:

a non-judgmental factual dispassionate approach to information, a willingness to discuss in clinical detail all the things on my mind with frank warnings about things I need to get on top of (more exercise, lose weight, reduce cholesterol), things I need to accept treatment of (high blood pressure) without angst because I simply inherited that hypertension from my mother and grandmother, and the ‘curl up naked in a fetal position for the annual digital prostate exam’ together with all the lab work testing for all things relating thereto because my history (my dad) suggests I am a higher than average risk notwithstanding my own theories of high activity levels being a good preventative measure

what I like most about visiting my doctor is :

the same

when was the last time you had a physical? . . .if it was less than 9 months ago, call today to book an appointment because it will likely take 3 months to get in to see your doctor

if nothing else (for those who postpone the appointment, for those who postpone the making of the appointment, for those who don’t go at all, for those who fear it so much you wall it off in your mind) . . . take the message that pushing yourself away from the table, living more fully, loving more fully, playing more fully . . . spreading your wings in the sunshine to be the best you can be is a pretty healthy start compared to doing nothing at all

because it is good for you, that’s why

the life you save may be yours

I plan to publish a book and you can't buy a copy if you are dead . . so I want you to stay alive, OK!

make the call, book the appointment, keep the appointment

because it is good for you, that's why

Mark Kolke
225,644
202.2

Hi Mark, I live in FL, and I must say that your daily weather reports are quite fascinating to me! Having grown up outside of Buffalo, I find myself grateful for being able to relate and even more grateful for not being able to relate right *now*! Best, M?, South Pasadena, FL

...

re: the third day - Apr. 8 musing . . I have not had time to read thru all your musings carefully...but ..with regard to this particular writing...it would seem that you were alone Saturday evening looking at your reflection because you chose to be there & to be alone. It sounds as tho you did have an enjoyable time albeit reflective in more ways than one. I regret that our carefully planned time together did not work out well. I feel responsible & I am truly sorry. Everything I said & felt prior to our meeting was the absolute truth...But somehow the reality was ...I am not in the space I must be in order to bring such magic (if at all possible) to fruition. Thank you for the beautiful meal & the the warm evening...I did love being close with you...but just not ready for "the promised land" as you so aptly put it. Best of luck with the "probing" today. .very wise to be current with what I refer to as "personal housekeeping". Pleasant thoughts & feelings to you my Dear., JH, Kelowna

...

Good evening Mark, First I want to thank you for our time together at breakfast this morning. Our discussion has me recognizing that you really are becoming more clear with yourself and in turn being more clear for those like me who you care for. You may be that man "on top of the mountain" who eventually we all want to climb up to ask our most difficult questions - - -seeking that answer to make it all right. Thanks again, JJ, Calgary