Musing

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

2C/35F, overcast; the light breeze brought deer scent to Gusta’s nose so off we went, my left arm in tow, the hot pursuit dragging my body along the trail into the park but once we got close enough that the tiny sounds of getting my camera ready – or maybe it was just the few seconds it took – were enough time for the two of them to slip into the bush . . gone from view for now to reappear when we least expect it

gone from view for now to reappear when we least expect it; consider if this is the case with someone or everyone in our lives; if so, what do we do about it?is it too late to explore getting acquainted, is it too late to say little things and ask to connect?is it too late to pretend I am really interested . . or should I admit that something superficial got my attention more than anything else, that a hope/wish/expectation of response to my initiation fuelled that a bit . . but . . time (this could be a moment, a day or years) and distance (this could be thousands of miles or the distance it takes to tap someone on the shoulder or a point'nclick) seem to separate us . . is it too late . . or too soon or just wrong, or just right?

but, be careful, if you respond (or are responded to) with interest or an invitation to meet again or to visit might get a yes (I prefer to say yes more than no, I think most people do) . . and so might he/she that you wonder about; people are like those deer sometimes, they cross our path, catch our interest . . . then they are gone before we had a chance to look – sometimes we need to stop them, in the moment, get to know them better, say things like ‘tell me about _ _ _ _ _ ‘ or explain ‘You’ to me; all we need do is ask

but mostly we don’t; we have interesting people . . they could be business prospects, friend prospects, love prospects . . but they all have two things in common; first, they are on our horizon, like those deer on this morning’s path, sometimes gone before we get a chance to capture the moment; second the ‘timing’ comes and goes swiftly – the chance to say this or question that, to pose a question, to reveal a trait, to be bold, to deliver a surprise or to receive one . . is a fleeting opportunity, the ‘timing’ of that moment lost forever

lost forever moments are everywhere; they are epidemic and the loss of so many of them is a sad loss of fulfillment for most people – so take the chance, risk it

say something, do something, suggest something, challenge someone . . just do it; the doing exposes ‘who you are’ to someone but the response/non response, the questions/objections and reactions tell you tons about that other person . . so quick and easy to be taught tons of lessons about someone – the results draw you closer or repel you, the results teach, the results offer insights, the results often disappoint

results can produce a spectacle worth all your being, but would you know; how can you tell the ‘moment’ that will change your life from just any old moment going by?

we delude ourselves into thinking we can tell, that past experience guides us well, that some technique from a book or recommendations from a friend or colleague will help – poppycock – chance and opportunity mingling with two unconnected minds hurtling in opposite directions is what produces ah+ha moments, yes‘nyes moments, high moments, sizzle moments . .

yesterday I chose to experiment with three people . . two ran the other way, demonstrating that alignment in our thinking was a delusion, one opened up like a magic box of excitement on Christmas morning – he taught me a lot and I learned volumes about him; not because it would lead to some business or to more business . . but because it interested me, he interested me and a connection became different in the process (a long time muser, client and NEW friend, BT, not only proved the point I make this morning . . he took some time to show me some things about himself, his company, his product . . and in so doing gave me a gift of some knowledge I could not have gained any other way) ..

so often we think we know people – we have their number, we cross their path, they sit at the next desk, the next department, the next table in the coffee shop; they stand in the next checkout line, the next zag in the zig zag at the bank; they are our neighbour, they park in the next stall . . . or we have known them for ‘what seems like forever’ but we admit to ourselves that our knowing them is superficial, shallow, perhaps widely diverse . . but not very deep, it is fleeting, it lacks interest or commitment, it lacks verve or emotion – for many of us these are indeed strangers, for some they are spouses, siblings, parents or children . . . the appearance of proximity is far removed from closeness

start soon, not because it might be too late, but because not doing it might be living too little

Mark Kolke
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