Musing

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

2C/35F, lagoon waves nearly suitable for surfing, chilly wind seems colder just because snow is predicted; 4 pairs of Mallards out there today, no geese around, no dogs around, just Gusta and me while traffic hum was drowned by equipment working nearby – like giant Tonka toys loading and moving dirt, operators no doubt overgrown kids like me who remember mindlessly making noises pushing them around on dirt piles when we were 4 or 8 or 14 . . or yesterday

when I go to the gym or when I talk with running friends . . there seems to be a lot of time and discussion spent on stretches, on stretching – about the wisdom of it and the pain associated with working out too hard without the right kind of stretching before and after; they tell me stretching is good for us all

each morning Gusta does these enormous stretches . . it seems she is 7' long from toenail to
tailtip when she does - the she returns to normal but for a minute she looks monstrous; I wonder if the 'big stretches' we all take make us larger for a while; do the efforts we make stretch us to be bigger, better, stronger . . or are they just exercises?

yesterday at my dad’s place; a nice visit doing his taxes - I really need to spend a day or two there helping him organize his paperwork; he has so much he needs to toss mingled with current things and old treasures; he makes sure he doesn’t lose anything important by not throwing out anything . . . stretching out the process of finding anything, making it an exercise that involves looking over and through so many old memories, stretching out the process . .

I wonder if I am that way sometimes . . so focused on capturing what I need in the moment that I let an accumulation of old stuff, trash and extraneous junk make it harder for me to find the treasured things I mean to keep; he is too old to learn new ways . . but then again, he asked me to help him get things organized . . new for him (stretching!!) . . asking for help; maybe I can learn something there, or maybe I'll have to wait till I am 84, but I think I can do that stretch now

what 'could have been', what could have been? . . no knowing what could have been?, but if we'd stayed together , then it all would have been different - apart, there is so much we've done, experienced and enjoyed all these years and we still have a treasured gift of each other and we will, forever and always

I’ve never had a better stretch .. it was a long stretch many years ago; we’ve stretched before, we’ll stretch again; last night we stretched a little more . . it wasn’t a long chat but I feel warmer having had it; the experiences I gained in 18 months were partly about learning someone, knowing them, knowing their quirks, their moods, their ‘stuff’ . . so well that 15 years or so later we can each call the other any time; anytime the discussion can be short or long, deep or shallow . . meaningful or fluffy; each time we connect well or poorly there is an impact, each time we reconnect after an impasse there is a sweetness, a softness, a magic that is like a soothing touch from an old friend, like the warmth of a soft blanket on a chilly day – SC and I had such a chat last night

big stretch

if you have a treasure in your life; friend or wife, buddy or husband, current or previous . . then you know the kind of treasure of which I write . . . amid all the things that are/were wrong, amid all the button-pushing that did/does happen, in there, in between the cracks there is a magic that is/was pure and clean and fresh and magical; I often find people toss around terms like partner and soul mate like they are platitudes on a greeting card but when I talk to them they’ve not in touch with this thing SC and I have, when I talk about it I am often asked ‘why aren’t you still together?’ or ‘why don’t you get back together?’; they don’t seem to understand that sometimes we find something so magical with someone we love that those are not the important questions at all; those are the contrivances of living arrangements rather than loving arrangements

big stretch

sure it's a big stretch, doesn't happen often, doesn't happen for everyone - my view is that it can if you want it to, it can if you find the person you can have it with; my guess is that most people over 30 have such a treasure in their lives; they may not have nurtured it, may not have cleared away the junk, the trash and 'stuff' that block their view of it . . all you need to do
is hold it in the palm of your hand or in your pocket or in a picture frame or on a chain around your neck or in your left ventricle . . wherever you keep treasures close and safe from harm

big stretch

one of these days soon, maybe here, maybe in Maui . . somewhere . . I’m going to plant a rose garden again and tend it better than I did the last time

stretching before and after is good for us all, imagine how good enormous stretches might be; c’mon now . . big stretch, enormous stretch . . feels good doesn’t it


Mark Kolke
225,500
201.8

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