Musing

I would love to see a picture of Gusta. I have wanted to get a dog for a while but my work hours and business travel prohibit this step. I enjoy the tidbits of her exploits! Thanks Regards, MW

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Mark, Sandra here in Coeur d'Alene. Just read two days of your musings....hmmm. A theme of older women, (I'm over 50), and the need to be touched, really resonates with me. And, how true that when we have something all the time we barely notice it's presence, but when we don't, we can think of little else! After my divorce four years ago, I became painfully aware of the absence of daily touch. All my adult life I had four children, a husband, and always a delightful dog or two, and yes, sometimes cats....to nuzzle, pet, snuggle, rub, laugh at and with, jump, walk with, tease, and otherwise companion with. In my counseling practice I often gave gentle touch and hugs to my patients. My, how things have changed! I'm reminded of the story about the lonely woman who was held up by a robber who demanded all her money. She said she had no money, but if he would frisk her again all over, she'd write him a big check! Yesterday I finished my Red Cross training, and am waiting to be deployed to the Hurricane zone any day now. Some of the wonderful volunteers were chatting during a break, and we were sharing a bit about our personal journey to decide to give three weeks of our time. I glibly said that at this stage of my life I have no dependents of any kind, human or animal; no husband, kids are grown, no dogs or cats....and what a wonderful thing to be so free and unencumbered! Indeed I have the opportunity to go anywhere in the world, and do things most people can't, due to family or work responsibilities. Later, as I made the hour drive back to Idaho, I heard a love song on the radio, that brought bittersweet tears and deep yearning ache in my heart for what I lost, and what I am longing for. I agree with your reader who says she is ready for her world to be happy! Being content in my present state, loving what IS, may be the only present reality of perception that brings peace. I love the Buddhist practice of being in the now. But, hypocritically, I'm not a good student, and vacillate wildly, from either celebrating singleness, or jealously watching lovers holding hands, exchanging touch and knowing gazes. Mark, as a single, 'older' guy', you express what many of us singles struggle with....maybe you could use a small segment of your musings to be a mini-match maker. Out of several thousand readers, surely there must be potential matches. Guarding confidentiality may be too great a task, and too burdensome, but it's just a thought. No hurt feelings if you shoot that down! (smile!), SW

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Literal translation for our english word, touch. I think you need a lil toque feminina. Treated myself to a massage and had a conversation about having had the same massage therapist for 11 years and he was out of town, turns out one of his students is now working in his office and was nervous to "touch" me after his "expert" touch. I do hope I eliviated any such thoughts by telling her she was only ever a friend and would enjoy her touch. Guess we both had touching thoughts. I am on my return adventura to Puerta Vallarta,sold my house,,,,going to drive my truck and start a course Oct 4th. In the midst of editing stuff to put into storage. It is certainly not about the stuff, don't care if I ever see a lot of it again. Life sure changes; decided change is something we can all be certain of, always. So looking forward to people in Mexico, however the one thing I hope not to have affect me is the poverty level and I wonder of the unknowns in my journey of the truths I will find in the dealings and with whom and their realities? Am I making sense? I know I have wanted to step out of my comfort zone and now I am not wondering why,,,just feeling a lil apprehensive cuz it feels a lil more permanent this trip. No Canadian dirt left I guess is why. Have to get working on the Spanish. Sinceramente, TS
write when you need that PV golf trip!

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Mark re reading your words re touching and dogs it brought to mind the utter complete lack of betrayal in any pet dog I have owned. Far far more loyal than any lover.....or friend or partner.
I note too that couples can be perceived as sharing intimacies but I now know that they too share disagreements and indifferences and the absence of shared passion, tenderness and the ability to crush hopes and dreams with just the raise of an eyebrow and that is something I no longer need in my sharing dialogue..or behaviour... Those of us who own pets that are adored amd adored by.... are the lucky ones, they bring so much to our lives and ask so little, its like being dusted by paradise sharing time and space with endearment. Have a blissful sunday......, SF

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Hi Mark, Since it's been a while, thought I'd drop you a line to let you know what's going on... What a spectacular first week of school we had! The best ever in my career...calm, organized, constructive, and thankfully devoid of drama and tears. We have truly left the past behind and begun to rebuild the school and its reputation. We have a wonderful constellation of families this year. I'm looking forward to a productive and exciting term. Mark is turning some corners too; his "adopted daughter" has moved away to attend college and a good friend of his is getting divorced, after what he had previously thought of as a long and fruitful marriage. I think his feeling of loss is something of a surprise to him. We have spent many hours in middle-of-the-night whispered conversations, talking about the impact of those changing relationships on our own. Seems, no matter how violently the world swirls around us, we are safely cocooned against harm. How sweet and comforting it is to wake in the morning, climb out of bed, kiss his face, and gently pull the covers back over my sleeping husband. And a final coupla' words about my cancer diagnosis: my hem/onc docs say that I need to check in with them only twice a year. So, in 19 months, I have gone from a diagnosis with a five year life expectancy to...a lifetime. Kisses to you and Gusta, LR

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Gusta is beautiful! You should be very proud., MW

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Thank you for your daily musings, the fact that I enjoy them tells me something about myself that I didn't know. I feel somewhat guilty that I get to enjoy your writings but do not contribute, however my mundane writing style could never compete. However ... since you were sharing quotes I decided to share my favorite James Dean quote, "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today". Its such a simple quote but empowers me to live my life, my way! I think you live your life your way too ... btw take your own advice, generally women age better than us guys. Keep smiling! KD