Musing

5C/41F, clear, steady cool north breeze came along on 'our trail'; our shadows, our sounds, our footsteps & Gusta wearing off calories in the tall grass - the only sounds separating us from silence as the wind blew by

a little whoop; plans to write a monthly column for Alberta Venture Magazine are coming together

for middle aged single men who live alone, I recommend raising a dog from a puppy; not so much for the chore of it, but for the lessons it teaches every day

it proves that, at the core our quests & conquests, lives an incredibly strong need for companionship

it mitigates significantly the cravings, desires for company of the women we seek, it addresses that need for someone to note our comings & goings, just as we witness theirs

someone to notice little things about; change of appetite, disposition, posture or behaviour in her is something I pick up on far better than I ever did with any woman I have spent much time with

the need for both of us to care about someone daily without being accountable for every movement or activity throughout the day

the need for someone to touch at the end of the day; someone to talk to, someone to listen to – not so much to meet my need for conversation but meeting, absolutely, my need for connection

a nurturing relationship where I give her a lot, yet I get far more than I give

sometimes I meet women who allege they must compete with some 'memory on a pedestal' image that I have of intrigue, brains & beauty of some special women from my past

true, I seek an incredible level of sizzly spicy flavour, the magic ingredient - the secret sauce - it is is embodied in a further set of qualities, qualities not everyone gets

the more I think of it, Gusta is truly a superb companion; she is not a picky eater, rarely barks, never growls, likes to go out often, is happiest when I play & wrestle with her, never takes over a bathroom with a hundred things, never presumes anything, cannot work the remote control & she never tinkers with the settings on my toaster

it may not be a truly reciprocal romantic relationship [still reserving room for one of those in my heart, though a larger bathroom will no doubt be required], but the fit could not be better

Gusta gets it, so do I

a little petting goes a long way

Mark

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Man have you been waxing poetically, great metaphors!, DL, Calgary

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Please remove me from your daily musings. My email is so busy that i just can't handle so much mail on a daily basis. Thank you., SMcD, Calgary

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Hi Mark. Looks like you have some admirers given the replies about shoes and cheese! As I may have mentioned before, I've been very in tune to the connections I've been making - how natural it can be, how they can change our realities - perhaps just for now, but maybe for always. I've been thinking about why people can't or don't connect as well, and how connections can be lost. BUT something amazing happened this weekend; I've made a stronger connection with myself! How interesting it will be to see what explorations, adventures, and creations come from this new path... And, how interesting it will be to see how my connections and relationships with others change, too. While I've known that our lives are our responsibility and only ours, to be honest, I've not lived my life that way. That's not okay! Taking responsibility might not be the easier way, but at least when I do something well, it's because I did it, and when I make a mistake, it is my mistake. Thank you for your words of wisdom. They seem to come always at the right time, as most things do, if we pay attention. LS, Calgary

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Thanks for the donation to the MS Society Mark! I have a cousin, and several friends that suffer from this disease, so it means a lot to me when the MS Society receives some support. I am enjoying you musings these days. Keep up the good work. I wish you well with your golf game this summer. May all of your long putts go in, just like the short ones...., AK, Calgary

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New computer now up and running - glad to reconnect with your musings, GD, Calgary

8C/46F, sunny warm ahead; rain overflow has filled the lagoon to the delight of mini-squadrons of activity seeking immature geese who have not settled into a family making relationship for the summer; Gusta went slow, respectfully, as her owner strolled deep in thought, distracted for a short while from the beautiful day unfolding

quiet, just me & my dog – return to usual

the planet has been fully explored, but every time we connect with someone new we have that opportunity to explore, to adventure, to create – or not – a new channel, a new tributary in our river of life or find that the trail does not lead anywhere we wish to go like venturing into a jungle knowing some rivers flow, some dry up, some bring flourishing growth, some are just a side-trip

every time I take a little side-trip, make a call, take a call, drive a different route I have two choices – eyes wide open, ears wide open, mind wide open is one of them; the other would be to let the opportunities pass by, let the people I might meet pass by to teach others, to let someone else taste their uniqueness

each course, each fork in the road brings risk of a different kind, unique to the day it shows up

I can risk doing & experiencing - whatever the outcome, without knowing the outcome, without having a clue about outcome, without sense of obligation to anyone but myself to be true to myself

or, I can risk being a bystander in my own life; an option I will never choose

never, not ever

walk new trails, make new trails

exploring matters, preconceived destinations rarely do

Mark

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And just what did you find? Speaking of cheese and shoes, love it old and sharp to soft and creamy but never medium - this Leo cannot abide medium in anything. The coffee needs to be dark roast or French ,with real cream, or better yet made in a copper pot over an open brazier in a Bedouin tent with only a hint of sugar and the taste of cardamom. Shoes!! OMG – shoes - The bane of my existence and the reminder of many childhood scoldings by a mother who had a passion for them, who could never understand me and my distaste for them, nor I her love for them. I own few - they must be comfortable, well made and well taken care of. Maybe if I could find an old world shoemaker to craft them for me in the softest of leathers.. just might own more. BTW the ankle does look good in them, SN, St. Paul

3C/37F, drizzle done, sun struggles through; Gusta runs tallest wet grass she can find; finding only short stuff, she slithered through the grass to get as wet as she could

today, a work day for most Canadians, a Memorial day holiday for our friends to the south; one of rest & work & hunting down ‘just perfect space’ for a couple of clients & begin a proposal writing project; looking for inspiration in every piece & file in my Monday pile – not finding it

some shoe manufacturing trivia for you: laces & eyelets & polish & insoles are called findings in the shoe trade; this originated from the day when shoe makers in old England worked as a cottage industry; manufacturers supplied leather for uppers & soles, but the cottager had to find the rest on his own account – hence the term – findings

I have my ingredients; paper, toner, files & phone #’s – all I need to ply my craft, but inspiration is required before perspiration goes in

my urge to write today is mitigated by fatigue from an all-nighter [working, not playing], today I will write a little or a lot, not sure yet; depends on what I find

seeking inspiration in usual places, finding none, I researched the day: this day in history Fanny Brice died (1951), Edmund Hilary summitted Everest (1943), JFK was born (1917); also looking in my calendar I find my friends CK &DD were born this day (1953)

have a great birthday you two; may you be finding happiness & health everywhere you look

JP brought rain; when she departs later today I suggested she return it to Vancouver where she found it

with low energy I began my search – seeking inspiration

this Monday morning’s papers a waste of ink & paper; if they came on a roll with perforations, they might be useful, otherwise they lack anything fresh – they should be called olds-papers rather than news-papers; I looked there for inspiration - finding none, I moved on

email responses from yesterday made me laugh out loud; a coincidence made me smile

some coffee made me awake, a bagel & faxed confirmation of a project I want to do gave me energy, sky is clearing a little - not raining

found it

Mark

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Good thoughts Mark - very true - Taste in shoes – polished, matching, good repair – tells you a lot. Cheese - I have never tried a shopping for cheese date - interesting. My favorite is one on one is wandering around Inglewood or the antique stores in Nanton or Claresholm. Checking out old black and white photographs - with “there’s your Uncle Jack and Aunt Rosie”. A good test of humour and compatibility. Amazing how many of the old black and white photographs would fit in any family photo album. Cheers, TL, Calgary

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So we are all snobs in some sense. Maybe about coffee (what rating does a single soy latte get me?) or shoes (where on the scale does a pair of Dansko sandals that have walked the Roman Forum place me?) or cheese (haven't met many that I don't like - does that make me a cheesy slut?) or trucks or gardens or, or, or... As I was told today - discriminate - Please! Have a preference, but for myself I want to remain reality based enough to see that preference does not mean one has good or bad taste - just try selling caviar in kindergarten, CCH, Chimacum

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How funny. Once again you have brought a huge smile to my face. Personally I don’t think there is a cheese I don’t like and I am quite picky about what I eat what with. For example Cambazola with pears and fresh bagettes - yummy. I have a question regarding shoes. How do you feel about orange crocs? These are my current favorite shoes. Red Deer doesn’t have much choice. I am in need of a trip to Europe - now that is shoe shopping. Hope you are having a fun weekend. Cheers, DB, Red Deer

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Ouch! Seems we have moved from musing to another place. And yes taste matters but what's with cheese thing. You can't even tell which ones are smelly! Now shoes on the other hand you know about. Perhaps read some of SB's points from yesterday's responses again and remember chemistry may hit you (or not) but determining compatibility is a process – SC, Fort Smith

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Oh my goodness Mark!! Maybe we shouldn't try to meet for coffee eventually. A shoe fetish!! I would go barefoot all the time if I could, my only criteria for shoes is how quickly and easily I can get them on and off! As for cheese, Old cheddar, stilton blue, german butter, edam, gouda, cheeze whiz but only on bagels. I'm afraid you might just think I am just weird and I will end up in your musings as a swing and a miss. Have a great day and keep writing, NB, Airdrie

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RE: too much - May 27; Ahh, Banff...always worth the trip. But Melissa Misteak? ....you must have lucked out, since I've always found it to be a 'mistake' at best. Cheers, DM, Calgary

6C/43F, raining again-still; wet dog, wet owner, shaking off, brrr

my type of person would, I think, enjoy things I do; they do not roll their eyes at things I like or want or wish for

telling too is my flip side reactions of like or disdain

when I react to something that appeals to someone - things or issues of interest to them - directness can sometimes get in the way of having a good time; but I cannot fake it when I find it weird or disgusting or that I simply do not care – not enough to even bother faking interest

think about ways to determine compatibility with others; c’mon, a rainy Sunday morning deserves diversion; go have your diversion - when you come back why not have some mind candy, or mind coffee, or mind cheese with me

if we really are what we eat, then lessons can be learned from what people like, order, buy; from how they season food they've not tasted; they thrill with good taste, or bore to tears

the spectrum from dumb-struck idiocy to ecstatic intrigue, but you can avoid blind date disasters if you have your wits on tight, ask the right questions, set the right venue

diving in, so to speak, with someone you scarcely know can be everything from a waste of time to a life altering experience; so why not go cheese shopping with them; it can it be fun & revealing

if not cheese, then pick food or clothes or some other consumer good group – the experience will be no less entertaining, no less revealing of character, no less revealing of compatibility

but be honest, do not fake enjoyment of something you hate, do not hold back screwing up your expression in disgust or your attitude if it needs to be revealed that you think this person is crackers, creton or goddess – immediate reactions have value only if we listen to them, if we speak of them, validate them

I often evaluate people I meet for the first time by their taste [includes maintenance review] in quality footwear [a former life occupational hazard I cannot shake]; ladies, take me shoe shopping with you if you are keen, but don’t waste time meeting me if there isn’t something carefully chosen & well crafted below your well turned ankle

I am wondering if there are short-cut methods to distinguish high quality people from ones worth leaving alone; in the world of Starbuck culture, perhaps it should be how they order or take their coffee?

a medium regular at Tims is clearly a vastly different person from someone who is a double shot espresso in a fine food establishment

are they carefully chosen beans or just pre-ground vacuum packed house brand ?

pay attention – these things matter

I’ve often coached friends to start meetings over a small coffee - then, if inspired, move on to a refill or a meal or the evening; this could be taken to a higher level food aficionados might enjoy – perhaps there are ways to measure character by how they cut cheese or wrap it after ?

choosing friends wisely like cheese choosing, I find a small sample can go a long way toward a meaningful relationship or an immediate ‘no sale’ reaction

I think you can tell a lot of things about people by how they shop & choose & sniff; by what they shop for, or flavours that entice, appeal to them or to you

some are mild, some medium, some old

some sharp

some soft, some smelly

some hard & only useful grated into shavings or powdered

a slice or a chunk, alone or on a cracker; in a sandwich or melted onto something meaty or baked in a pan

cheese has so many uses, as do friends

crème cheese, squeeze cheese, cottage cheese, string cheese or, it pains to type it, Wiz

cheese has personality, flavour, character & shelf life - so do people

just as some people deserve to be called babe rather than baby; some are cheddar or brie

others too firm, too soft – or just right

for a Sunday diversion; I could read the Sunday Times [arrived on Sunday again – love the trend] – they have a special food focus in the Book Review section this week

maybe they will have a review of a book on coffee, or on cheese, or on pickled herring [another story for determining character for another day]

my types – medium roast, strong, black; Colby, Imperial Cold Pack, German Butter, Swiss, Parmesan, Romano; freshly shined chocolate kidskin d’orsay cut Chanel pumps on 20/8ths heels

some people grate, others are tasteful, elegant & delicious

taste matters

Mark

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4C/39F [coolest place in Canada this morning], raining; raindrops hitting leaves, leaves spilling blobs of water to the forest floor & occasional cracking twigs as critters move out of our sight somewhere were all we heard - the park in drizzle mode as Gusta scattered the flock of Robins grazing at the earthworm buffet laid out on the paved path this morning

clouds & soggy tourists everywhere, but the prime rib sandwich at Melissa’s Misteak was worth the trip to Banff yesterday

low clouds obscured most that was worth seeing; I plan to ship my guest & her rain back to the wet coast Monday evening

I’ve learned this past year, driven home by my experiences with Toastmasters where doing it is a requirement, that nothing should escape evaluation

if I take that view to other aspects of my life & business practice, I find everything becomes clearer through evaluation

if I don’t evaluate it, if I don’t examine myself, who will ?

habit is that thing I use to avoid examination; habit, evaluation’s evil rationalizing passive-aggressive companion

habits, those things we have been comfortable with for a long time bring no guarantee of validity because they are comfortable; some were sound thinking once, but times have changed requiring a different approach; others were just plain dumb from the beginning – those are the toughest to see because habit made them permanent, comfortable & routine without ever examining validity, purpose, quality

‘Duration is not a test of truth or falsehood.’ – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

evaluating where I have been, where I am, where I am going - so easy to gloss over, go with the flow, to ‘just be’ or to say I am open to possibilities; rationalizing that something does not warrant scrutiny, is not validation but rather avoidance of evaluation

sipping coffee on a rainy Saturday morning, self-therapy looking out a window, looking inside too

I like where I am, but I know I am too comfortable, too easy, too complacent with myself

too much is habit, too much is routine, too much is comfortable

too many stones remain unturned, too much learning hidden beneath them

I need to examine, evaluate - letting nothing escape

nothing

Mark

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Well, based on your comments about Gusta’s likes and dislikes, I am happy that Gusta considers me a good person! Have a great weekend – and wear your rubbers! , AW

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Hi Mark! I can relate to the rain, warm rain today which is a far cry from the cold rain of our 'almost' always lousy Victoria Day weekends! Seems it matters not if I'm living in Alberta or Ontario! I thought I'd comment on your musing today as I've often said, pay attention to children and dogs as they have a built in radar when it comes to people. If you watch they will tell who is a good person and who you should be leery of. We seem to lose that ability as adults in a world where we seek to be accepted. The gut feel that says, na ah, stay away, not a good match for you, or not a good person. An excellent book, at least as far as I have read is a book written by the same author that wrote "The Tipping Point", called "Blink" speaks to that intuitive sense some seem to have and others do not...a good read so far. Have a great time in Banff! I miss Alberta!, KL, Kitchener

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So I do wonder (as some might) what category I fit into or dare I ask? From our last correspondence, I could take this a lot of ways ….. hummmm … or am I just thinking too much. Deadly business for a dreary Friday morning. I am certainly jealous of you today. I grew up in Canmore, when it was just a gas stoping ground. Boy I sure do miss the mountains!! Have a fabulous weekend! DDB, Calgary

6C/43F, raining [on-line forecast still says ‘chance of showers’ – they should look outside], in fact it has been raining all night more or less; golden retriever heritage is a mix that included an old breed called a water spaniel, so Gusta comes by her love of the rain honestly; surely my Vancouver guest is the cause of all the wetness

I am curious, always, when people intrigue me; I ponder why they do

often there is so little information, yet there is a reaction, more or less; it can be a glance across a crowded room, an e-mail exchange, a call; it can be in the dating & mating world, in organizational work, volunteering, business, an encounter in a store line-up, meeting neighbours or in general social situations

someone can spend 5 minutes giving good phone & I cannot wait to meet them; others make me want to run the other way without ever meeting them – why is that ? how can one person I scarcely know intrigue me while another generates no interest at all ?

some people turn me off immediately, some interest a little, while others turn my head; sometimes I feel I know right away - clear immediate interest or voicing a firm 'NEXT' has often been my method, more or less

dogs are smarter than us, perhaps in a few years we will learn from them

or at least I will learn from mine; maybe I should start taking her to speed-dating events & business meetings & conferences, getting her to sniff out the good people, bark at the bad & pee on the shoes of sneaky scoundrels

maybe, we humans are in some way evolved from water spaniels too; dogs use instincts & a nose to determine worthiness pretty effectively

dog reactions are immediate, dramatic & unwavering; they suck up for heavy petting, or just hang around with an ‘OK, you will do’ acknowledgement; shunning or biting, smitten or bitten – they more or less know right away

with expectations & anxiety well in hand intrepid JP arrived yesterday bearing gifts & bringing rain from the wet-coast; Gusta likes her just fine, sucking up for heavy petting at every opportunity

wanting to get acquainted is a 5 minute decision, getting acquainted is another matter – that takes 5 days, more or less

scooting to Banff today may not be a good idea – something about absence of sunshine; maybe tomorrow would be better

a short frenetic work day morning awaits – more or less

Mark

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Manage expectations… That’s what life seems to boil down to. Disappointment is a result of people/events/circumstances not matching our expectations. So enjoy the visit; manage your expectations! I wish for you…the beautiful enduring, SB, Calgary

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Your musings for the next 5 days should be VERY interesting.......... but ouch, the optimistic guy comment......... you sound like a snob. Maybe it just came out wrong. I wonder what HER musings are today....... Do you consider yourself the 'best', and I wonder if she wants better than that? Pretty high expectations. Are you setting yourself up for failure? just wondering........ but hope all goes well, really well. Have fun., SM, Calgary

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Mark, I have never responded to a musing before, but having just endured threedays at our lake property with houseguests, I laughed out loud and had to writeto say "hooray"! You nailed my sentiments. Have a great day., KR, Calgary

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Your musing today inspired me to drop you a note before I am off for a golf game. I often had thoughts of naming my spare bedrooms and depending on the day, my mood, the company --interesting themes would come to mind. The day after which included cleaning and polishing would always make me settle for "Non Resident Room"., GNP, Kelowna

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Thanks Mark for the reminder to send in my donation for the MS Society Bike tour – done – I hope others will follow suit for this great cause – Thank you. JF Calgary

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Hi Mark, Wanted to say thank you for your musings- it is always a nice moment in my day when I take a break, read through it and spend a moment reflecting, SM-B, Calgary

10C/50F, mix of sun & cloud; upwind, our odour preceded us as we came around a corner to witness a motionless camouflage coat among rustling leaves - ears like boldly upright bookends, velvety nubs of antlers in the making between them; Gusta was oblivious until moments later that animated John Deere logo vanished, bounding deep into the bush - she strained her leash limits in vain hopes of joining ‘john’, then minutes later a familiar rabbit, a familiar spot, diverted her attention to strain on a different tangent

I dub these morning metaphors john & jack; neither Bambi or Thumper, but rather as icons of unrestricted freedom & survival

without bark or whimper Gusta strained to join john & jack; just like any kid she wants to play with the other kids

as kids we are not leashed, we are watched; we need protection from what we don’t know - yet as adults we are not leashed, because we know the dangers

we don’t have a leash on our collar – but we might as well have one

like john & jack we encounter some fences, cliffs & raging waters – like them we can find ways under, around & over most of them – but mostly we venture only to the limits of our leash

risk management is not a job function that some people do, it is how most of us live most of the time

we stop at more than STOP signs, we detour around more than fences, we fear leaping a chasm however narrow as we choose instead [mostly via our media] to live vicariously through athletes, performers, adventurers & news figures as they risk, leap, scale & score . . .

we live our lives admiring courage yet fearing it at every turn; opportunities & ideas are not filtered through the fun filter, the joy filter, the thrill filter, the value filter, but firstly through our many risk & fear filters

what we should or should not do, who we should or should not talk to, meet or pursue for business or pleasure or a cause; these limits have nothing to do with the boundaries of propriety – they have everything to do with fear, uncertainty & doubt – ours

Calgary media these past few days filled with stories of a young Calgarian, Nichola Goddard, the first Canadian woman to die in combat, ever

stories of how she bravely pursued a dream to be the best she could be, bravely risked her life while helping others; these stories of a community showing compassion, admiration of courage, showing pride; but for what ?

while Nichola risked her young life, the rest of us sat on our hands; while she went bounding off like john & jack using learned skills, instincts & commitment as her compass most of us sat in a very comfortable place living very safely - or so we think

youth, zeal, courage & risk; every day john & jack & Nichola - they risk it all; all day - all night

being older & wiser does not insulate us from being in harms way; it should guide us to be more deft in our choices, steadier when nerves of steel are required, but why hide out from risks & realities ?

why be a prisoner of our leash ?

to be free, to quench our thirst for life, we might all do well to try living like john & jack & Nichola

john & jack & Nichola - at the end of the story, they all die

we all do

so, get off your leash

Mark

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Perhaps Mark what you are seeking is, in the words of Sue Monk Kidd, “ the beautiful enduring.” They are good words… beautiful enduring. I think that this is the essence of a lasting relationship. Beautiful… 1.Pleasing to the senses 2. excellent Enduring…1. persisting or surviving 2. Long suffering. It captures what I see in long lasting relationships. They continue to see beauty and excellence in each other in any and all circumstances. I think it is both awe-inspiring and frightening. It requires a deep level of commitment to continue to grow personally and give unstintingly to the others’ growth. I think the capacity for “the beautiful enduring” is relatively rare. It’s a generosity of spirit; a willingness to trust (and to be deeply hurt) and the ability to forgive, that seem to be the essence of the forever love. It is the ability to give over to what (or whom) we love. I think I had that once. Perhaps that was my lifetime supply. I hope not… So not a catch phrase. Perhaps an eloquent summary of heart’s longing… Now on a completely different note; My weekend is ok. Bought a great new bike and I’m off to test drive it around the neighborhood. I’ve been working on my own writing project which I find both exhilarating and exhausting., SB, Calgary

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like the new format!!! , AS, Oklahoma City

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And I remember when you didn't get the whole hug thing. Bon appetit! Your musing was sweet, VP, Dewinton

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Hi Mark, First, your new format for Musings is great. It adds class to some classy thinking! Second, I am often compelled to reply to your daily musings as so many are truly thought provoking – but time pressures and “scheduling” of work and other commitments usually serve to restrain my reply urges. Third, today, being the Victoria Day holiday, I am freed up from the usual demands. (To be sure, there are others – like my dear wife beckoning with a hot cup of coffee, and the garden gloves and equipment – but I can resist without fear of being “fired” today. Yahoo!) Now, here is a reply to yesterday’s Musing. Mark, I believe that some primal urge is growing within you to “nest” again, based on your comments about serious relationships. I feel that your inner self will push you to seek out a “mate” (I prefer that term to “significant other”, etcetera, to describe serious relationships). The inner “push” should be allowed to direct you, because it may already have targeted a suitable subject. Go for it, as you only have time to loose if you don’t follow that inner sense. Be spontaneous and be impulsive. You often say in your musings to “make the leap” for change. You are so right when you say that. After a first marriage that was a “disaster”, I met my present wife, under rather unusual circumstances; and, following my inner urge to be outrageously bold and to seize the moment produced amazing and thoroughly rewarding results. We were married over 32 years ago, and I would do it again “in a heartbeat”. If I had been timid, or listened to my “logical self”, I would surely have missed out on the best relationship that has ever happened to me. So, if you are wondering about being ready for a serious relationship, you probably are – or that thought wouldn’t have been given space in your thinking, musing times. All the best, and enjoy the Victoria Day holiday. May you soon be setting off your own special “fireworks”. JN, Newmarket, Ontario

12C/52F, mostly overcast, light breeze; the park cacophony of bird sounds sharp contrast to a neighbourhood eerily quiet, sleeping in

another gorgeous day arrived makes focus difficult; my mind a jumble; thoughts flit in, most dissipate in a heartbeat

electrical impulse, blood flow through a muscle makes a heart beat, but there is more; that term ‘in a heartbeat’ is used so much, but how long is a heartbeat ?

I’ve been wondering lately, if I am ready for a serious relationship again; not the frivolous flirtation, not short term fun, not revolving door dating roulette; but really meeting an equal, meeting a dreamy sensation [my mind-candy moment assumes mutuality]

aside from: reciprocal literate lively levity libido & golf, what am I looking for ?

of course, defining serious is like defining heartbeat; easy to do with words, challenging to do if you include reference to feelings

my mind flits from MdP [happy birthday today] who wrote so beautifully & wanted me when I wanted anything but; it flits to SC who would have added a touch of salt, a bit more pepper & stirred my pot with wide grin; it flits to hugs anywhere, especially in a hallway

urge for breakfast, urge for soup is strong

monster pot simmered yesterday, fridge clearing veggie soup extraordinaire

memories of every time I hunkered down over a steaming pot with a spoon & a pepper mill

memories of having someone to hunker down with, cook with, smile uncontrollably with

someone to live for, share with, thirst with, share with

this hunger should be shared

soup time

in a heartbeat

Mark

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Wow spiffy new look. I also gave a push ..it seemed like a good idea to me also.. guess some prefer the rut more than what they say they want. Have a good one., SN, St. Paul

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Regarding "It seemed like a good idea at the time" I've been thinking quite a bit lately about "Help" ...when is it appropriate to step in on someone who obviously needs help - when is it intrusive? I know you'll say "use your best judgment" but then your best judgment is often disregarded or even seen as negative or bullying. So yes, I though long and hard this last time before insisting on helping. Thank God I did. So this is what I have come up with as an answer to that question "Do I offer help?" Yes, I can stand a rejection or two now that I know what a blessing my help can be when it is truly needed, CCH, Chimacum

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Hey Mark??..who are you anyways???.., JM, Edmonton

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I like the change in colors and increased font size. Cheers, DL, Calgary

11C/52F, partly overcast/hazy; I dropped my car off early for servicing; getting home by street or sidewalk route would be 30-40 minutes tops but Fish Creek Park beckoned; we entered east of MacLeod Trail - it seemed like a good idea at the time

imagine dragging a wet fur coat through the bush for 2 hrs & you’ll get the picture

Fish Creek flow is modest compared to last spring’s pre-flood levels; trekking with Gusta through hill & dale skinny trails, wide trails, washed out trails, a bridgeless creek crossing produced exhaustion & exhilaration

pooch & owner needed naps, sustenance & a shower

energy restored, papers read, feet up, guzzling coffee; my perfect Saturday morning

a change is a change is a change; a change is better than a rest

cliché after cliché in our language describes ‘being in a rut’ of same old - same old

a note from someone this morning echoed that

my reaction / reply was to encourage ‘getting out of that rut’ . . seemed like a good idea at the time; but was it ?

is it a good idea? a rut, a 'same old -same old' situation

normal routine, sameness - for some people no doubt as comfortable as Linus’s blanket

for others maybe a prison of sorts I suppose; breaking out, or staying in - easy if it doesn’t matter - probably formidable if it does

what can we do when we encounter someone who shows us or tells us they are stuck or caught in a rut ? should we be silent, or speak up; stick our nose in or turn away ?

if it was a stuck car, I would stop - offering to tow them out or give them a push

I tried to give a push

it seemed like a good idea at the time

Mark
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9C/48F, light hazy cloud, neighbourhood abuzz early - landscapers scramble, people rush; preparing lawns, preparing soil, preparing flower beds, preparing trailers, campers etc. for weekend work & play

does the week end Saturday night or Sunday night, or Friday ?

this Victoria Day [Monday holiday commemorates longest reign of shortest queen, Victoria], Canadian ritual at its finest; yesterday the keenest campers sprinted to mountain campgrounds to secure the best spots to tent, park etc. . . tires humming but nothing compared to about noon today when traffic volumes leaving cities for playgrounds produce gridlock & road rage

campers it will be a weekend of chopping wood & pitching tents followed by sore backs & cold beer; for those who plant & landscape new yards meanwhile, it will be a weekend of sore backs & cold beer

for retailers of plants & shrubs & flowers, it is more like Christmas; ending their days with sore backs & cold beer

when the weekend is over, sore backs & campfire stories will dominate water cooler talk; the rituals of spring, Canadians repeating these things only to complain afterward about how bad the traffic was or how expensive the plants & shrubs are, how good the yard looks, what a great time the kids had . . . intermingled with stories of sore backs & cold beer

some folks will get out for some golf, swing too hard looking for mid-season form the first time out; they will end their rounds with sore backs & cold beer

the diminutive Queen of England, Victoria, who among other things granted Canadians independence from British rule, could never have imagined the tradition her birthday celebration has spawned; while she might have imagined citizens & visitors to Alberta or Lake Louise or who would travel the Marquis of Lorne Trail marveling at places named for her family members . . . but she never would have guessed that our long holiday weekend celebrations would involve

sore backs & cold beer

the week ends when the weekend ends, weary, one way or another we will all be weakened by Monday night

drive safe & sober

Mark
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P.S. small step or giant leap ? conversion purged bad & duplicate addresses – as of this morning there are 4621 active addresses on the musing distribution list; each time I have made a significant change to format or distribution process for musings it is a little disconcerting at first; each time it seemed the numbers shrank, but then grew again; responses have rarely been predictable

Mark, I like all your sides. I do not always agree on everything that you write about; but I think that you have every right to feel the way you do. We own our feelings; they belong to us. You don't seem to bark at people who differ; only those that are rude to you, and they damn well deserve it. No excuse for being rude to anyone; I think we should all just stop that. To me you sound like an amazing guy and I think some snazzy lady in Calgary should snap you up and start living a very happy life. Just think she would also get to have Gusta in her world. Cheers! , LW. Mississauga

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Good Morning Mark, Just finalized plans for a cooking holiday to Tuscany for a friend and myself. His last read is the back of a Stouffers box, I think he rents a chair at his favourite golf and country club so this will prove interesting. I am slowly trying to master my golf game, someday, I will meet with success. Just bought another lot, gonna build me another house, need something to do! Recieved two silver awards for the last home, there is that gold out there ---waiting patiently.......GP, Kelowna

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I enjoy reading your musings every morning and what a great start to my mornings! I have been meaning to write to you for some time now but I always put it off. I was diagnosed with Progressive MS about a year ago and your musings on April 21 about David and your musings regarding meetings about barrier free issues finally prompted me to write you. I haven't found much help with issues surrounding MS so it is always good to hear about something. To date, I refuse to give in to symptoms but I don't know how long this will be possible. I am very interested in being a voice for the disabled as I have found out I am up against so many things. There are lots of people available to help but when it comes down to receiving a benefit it is not available! Will I just be another voice that does not get anything back?? Look forward to hearing from you, JF , Calgary

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Re: note from SO from Phoenix . . Hi … what a good idea, getting your musers together… not sure about all 5000 but….. Mark’s Muser’s Conference or Play Time, whatever suits. Pretty sure it would be a blast and what a project for you….. I am grateful it’s cooler today. Not a lot of sleep last night due to panting dog in front of the window. Must water my flowers and go shopping. Yuck I need panty hose for a job interview… Bah. , DB, Red Deer

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Hi, glad you had a good time at your pot luck. The weather here has been fantastic. Hope it continues into next week so we can enjoy it then as well. Of course we probably won't be spending too much time outdoors...smile.. Do you drink coffee? Would you be offended if I brought my own? I'm kind of a coffee nut. Maybe I could bring some Kona to remind you of Maui. Have a great day m, Hugs, JO, Langley

16C/61F, overcast, steady westerly breeze, ribbon of blue in the west as a Chinook arch seems to hold up the sky like a large beam, a ribbon of gold along east horizon as the sun wakes up; yesterday’s daytime heat produced a glorious summertime evening, still very warm this morning as Gusta & I walked around the lagoon

our toastmasters club ‘1st anniversary of our club chartering’ celebration; wonderful time had by all, pot-luck dinner party @ DD’s house last night

SM posed a question, it caught me by surprise – it deserved thought & here is the answer:

her query – about a contrast between me, the guy they know in person, vis-à-vis the guy who muses in the morning

my answer - coins have two sides, hexagons six, people probably just as many or more

the serious side has its place; so too, does the outrageous & playful side

I can be reserved, or, without reservations; I can be serious or abandon all seriousness to be playful - I’m not deep & dark, but neither am I shallow

yet, I can go for a cheap laugh, a silly moment as easily as anyone

musings is me, most often, being serious & thinking aloud about things that might matter – sharing them with an audience made up largely of people I don’t know & may likely never meet

sense of ha+ha exhibited among friends does not go away when my demeanor needs to be more serious in a business setting, postured for a story telling ‘voice’ & style tailored to the message depending on circumstances & audience & subject matter or just plain different because of my mood, because of how I am feeling – it seems emotionally it is easier sometimes to spill out onto a computer screen in a quiet room than it is in a room full of people; sometimes that group situation brings out the childhood class clown behaviour as a buffer, as a coping with being, deep down, a genuinely shy person who perversely likes it in the limelight as much as anyone I know

there are elements of my upbringing in that equation – not often explored, not always liked, not always easy, not always a side of me I like to reveal – but there nonetheless

some days I have a strong message to deliver, some times a sad one . .

musings can be me, being silly, being subtle or being way off the mark

some days, like today, a quick one because I have to go to a meeting

Mark

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It was over 30 degrees in NW Calgary at supper time yesterday. What agreat day, AK, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Speaking of mentors, although there have been many, the one that comes to mind early on in my life was my Junior high english Lit teacher. A man by the name of Jack Hodgins. He was and is a prominent figure in my life. At the time, his students were not aware that he would go on to become a famous writer of many books. To me as a young teenager, he seemed very special and the first teacher I really took notice of, amazing presence. It is people like him that come into your life with a wealth of virtue and wisdom that help to shape our lives and become who we are. For the smartest people I know are people who are good listeners, JP Vancouver

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You might want to talk to JJ about his experience with coaching...JF

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Hey Mark...In response to the circumstantial stimuli, as we all might feel from time to time or on a daily basis, I have come across a great book which circumvents the circumstances that I would greatly recommend. "The Path of Least Resistance" by Robert Fritz might just entice your senses to do something outside the norm...enjoy., DJ, Calgary

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You sound like a thoughtful and amusing chap and it would be splendid if all 5000 listeners could meet someplace special and enjoy each other's time. Cheers, SO, Phoenix

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Hi Mark. It's as if you wrote this for me. Thanks. It's a keeper. :)Enjoy the weather. Find some time for golf. L.S., Calgary

10C/50F [27C yesterday broke a record, today will likely shatter another from 1887], very welcome global warming given a chilly couple of weeks in south Calgary; a beautiful morning, Gusta sniffed a miniature poodle to distraction while its young owner too shy to say hello; kids bikes left in the park overnight were still there reminds me of childhood days when a neighbourhood was everyone’s to share & leaving things out & about was not risky

I will not be ‘on a course today’ as work & other commitments meant I had to decline a very kind invitation to fill a slot on his 4-some for golf @ Glen Eagles today . . dwat; thanks Tom . . another time ?

constrained by circumstances, marriages, lifestyles, locations & careers in which they feel locked, I think many people feel stuck or that they follow paths they feel it is necessary to follow; they fail to realize how much freedom to pick & choose & create for themselves they really have; freedom to set their own course as it were - - to navigate their future

Columbus & others set out on extraordinary risky journeys of exploration with faith in themselves, belief in a destination & confidence they could navigate a course, change course as required & return home safely

changing course, plotting a course or departing comfortable harbours is far less risky today but most of us remain comfortably in the harbour unless someone evicts them

how do we coach ourselves, or get coaching/mentoring, to help determine if our perspective is wide enough, if our thinking is expansive enough to see the range of opportunities ?

talking to two friends, both musers, these last few days got me thinking on an issue that is not unique to only a few

these two, diverse/different from one another as any two people I know, use similar language to describe how & why they seek new directions; they are looking to follow a compass, follow a chart or follow someone’s advice & direction, each finding it very difficult to figure out a course of action on their own

I found it strange four years ago, leaving the mother ship of a big company; no longer was there a guy in the corner office to whom I could go for mentorship, guidance, direction or to ask forgiveness when I had forgotten to get permission – come to think of it, that lack of leadership/mentorship was one of several key reasons for my departure – but that is another story for another day

my diverse & valuable mentors/coaches are everywhere; ‘out of the blue’ comments from musers, occasional chats & rare meetings with KT, FD, KK, DB, RS, KC, CB & others; my absent guy in the corner office has been replaced by this hybrid plus this guy in my mirror, by friends who say ‘hey, did you think about this?’ & last but not least, Harry

Harry, gave me the best advice of all a long time ago, many years after his death, the day I read one of his most memorable quotes; a true-ism; from a true man

advice as worthy for my use today as it was many years ago helping me coach my children to take on decision making in their own lives:

‘ I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.’ – Harry Trueman

the tough part, I think, whether young child or middle-aged child, is to describe ‘what we want to do’, then trust ourselves with the choice, trust ourselves to act on the choice

we all have the answers already; we all know what we are good, what we love to do, what gives us joy, what engages our mind, what spurs our energy; so too we all have views deep in our bellies about where we want to live, how we want to work, what kind of lifestyle will give us joy – but often, most of the time actually, most of us prevent our mind from going there by rationalizing that the course we are on, the circumstances we are in, the limitations we feel subject to – that these things cannot be changed

it is simple really

if you are on course, hit ‘em straight, if you are not on course, listen to Harry

Mark

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Hello, I appreciate your mails, but alas have no time to read them. Respectfully, I request my address be removed from your list. Best, EH, ?

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Hey Mark, What you need is a multi tasking woman to help you out ! If I wasn't trying to sort out my own piles, I'd offer to help you. Enjoy this fantastic weather ! We should be golfing ! Have a great day ! CCC, CalgaryP.S. AW , for me it was the sax player but no cruises ended up in my future. haha Sounds like you had a fab time, can't wait to hear more.

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RE: the moon is in the Seventh House - 37 years ago - 1969 - my beautiful daughter was born - and I took her father to see "Hair" at The Moulin Rouge in Hollywood. I have always loved "The Age of Aquarius" and sing along whenever I hear it; no oneappreciates my voice, but I do! LBK, Palm Desert

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Hi – you sound so busy. Somehow your musing brought to my attention that I am in a state of limbo. Good or Bad who’s to say. I planted a whole bunch of sunflowers in the past week and I think the birds ate the seeds, at least they are very busy in the areas in which I planted. Time will tell. I seem to be in a place that those sunflowers and my raspberries are more important than work/deals/money. What is happening to me? I fear a park bench in my future as my retirement home if I don’t get motivated. Why don’t you plant up a bunch of containers of flowers for your patio. It would be lovely and very relaxing for you. , DB, Red Deer

10C/54F, welcome warmth on heels of a gorgeous yesterday; straining Gusta chasing distant animal smells through that garbage pick up day smorgasbord of odors in a strong breeze – produced meetings with 1 rabbit, 1 poodle, 1 cranky old woman . . who seemed quite annoyed that her poodle wanted to say hi

I am working on 2 significant proposals, must finish them both today

I have to arrange some property tours for clients, I’ll finish that today, though tomorrow will surely bring more

new format tomorrow or next day will save min. ½ hour every morning; 75% complete converting musing addresses to new system; I’ll finish that today

I look at my pile of unreturned calls from Friday & Monday . . I’ll finish those today

spread around my dining room table, a pile named ‘accounting things & cheques to write’, miscellaneous hundreds of little things in the ‘to do’ pile . .for each item there, I would be a miracle worker if I could finish that today, but I can finish prioritizing it today

my reading pile, ebbs & flows; it seems every item eliminated while I was away has grown two fold since I got back from Hawaii . . I’ll catch up on some of that too, or at least the unread Sunday New York times that came on Monday, I’ll finish that today

I am incapable of doing all these things while handling all the new things that will come up today, so re-ordering some things & procrastinating some & tossing some others; I’ll finish that today

lastly, it is that day every few years when we cannot put it off; being law abiding Canadians we open our census envelopes to answer the government’s questions it is census day in Canada

I opened the envelope . . I can fill the form, or do it on line @ http://www.census2006.ca/

while I was finishing off this draft, I logged on [fortunately I had my paper form with the key number on it, otherwise I don’t know how that would work]

it took less time to completed than it took to log on, so 2 minutes + 2 minutes

what’s next ?

Mark

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Thanks again for your musings. (the following is not specifically to you, just a call to action for those who need a little coaxing) I was profoundly disappointed to hear on the radio yesterday(?), that the average long distance call is 6 minutes, and it 'jumps' to 11 on Mother's day!!! Only 11 minutes???!! When my Mom was in a nursing home for the last year or so, I would 'sign her out' and we'd go for a drive &/or for c&Tbits or whatever. The pathetic part was seeing our names on consecutive rows, consecutive weekends apart! How sad for those 120 others! True - some had in-house visits, but still, don't our parents deserve more?? Even the imperfect ones!?It's interesting how often the grandchildren or more interested and curious to hear our parent's stories than we are..... And i'm guilty too., BS, Calgary

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Mark, loved the reply's from" expecting mothers" especially from N.M.B. Airdrie ...my thoughts exactly., LA, Calgary

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I receive musings twice a day already – direct email and blog notification. Although I rarely respond, I enjoy receiving and reading musings and the readers’ comments. But once a day is enough and preferably by direct email., EO, Edmonton

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why the ending with the # of hours left in my life - so that's what it is! Bugs me every time I read and rack my brain to figure it out. THANK YOU! Been away for a week and my work day cannot begin without reading. I admit, I'm addicted! Was in laid back Morden, MB for the week. As with you and Maui, I am now going thru withdrawals. Realized on this week away from reality that my marriage is not right. Realized that after a spending a straight 16 hr with my spouse after an 8 day sabbatical that I had absolutely nothing to say to....leaving me pretty much numb. What do you do with that? As you last week, I find a song stuck in my head....."I am stuck on band-aid, cause band-aid is stuck on me"....DB, Calgary

3C/37F, breezy, crisp morning air makes my eyes water; the moon instantly flashed off - it had been shining like a flashlight in the low SW sky as we went out – when the sun slipped over the horizon, our morning walk more like a race-walk than leisurely stroll

the restaurant lobby filled with mother entourages waiting for a free table, we didn’t care; we talked much more than usual; rather, mostly I talked, he listened; as long as I can remember it has been that way

I asked when I should come by with the letter I am writing for him to his condo board - he reminded me AccessCalgary was coming at 6 AM, he’d be back by 11 - he books a ride to South Centre mall 2-3 times a week; with his walker he usually tries to do 6 or 7 laps of the entire mall, sometimes he does 8; lately more often just 5

a few ailments, 23 daily medications, residual effects of 2 prostate cancer & 4 back surgeries have taken their toll – soon 84 he grasps most things – his memory better than most his age

we had our longest lunch in a long time yesterday we each talked about future plans

he thinks he has 9 yrs. left, but he say how he calculated that, nor does he remember 3 yrs. ago saying he had 6 yrs. to go; seems his life expectancy grew by 6 yrs

yesterday may have been mothers day, yet it is seemed more like fathers day to me

Mark

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Good Morning Mark, I don't know who added me to your list - but I'd love to pass on a not so anonymous "Thank You!" to them. I also need to have you change myemail address to XXXX.com from the current one YYYY.com which is about to NOT be my work address any more. It has been quite interesting the last couple of weeks while I am going through the change of job struggle to read your thoughts and those of your other readers. Maybe this philosophical bent has to do with ourinnate human reaction to rebirth and growth? Weirdly enough - the new job has been jumping about like a child who has to go pee - badly! for the past two months waiting for me to get off the pot (so to speak!) I have just been 'musing' over which way to jump! Friday I got a massive shove from a friend in need - and sometimes that is really what it takes. I would have made the change - eventually. But I will always step forward to help a friend in need - especially one who has exhibited thefaith and respect in me that this person has. Especially since he didn't need to. I guess that is sort of how to judge a friend, isn't it? They do things they don't need to, but because they can. Every now and then it is nice to see someone else do that sort of thing. Too little of that these days. But I do believe in leading by example, and eventually some people - hopefully enough people, take note and do more than they needed to - just because they could. EP, Calgary

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I love what you said about your daughters in this note! MM, Calgary

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What loving, warm, insightful words for your daughters. They must be proud of you too!, GR, EdmontonRe: the quote about a mother not existing until a child is born is off I think. Some women who have never had a biological child are more mothers than some who have had whole litters ( or just one single child) Some women are not mothers and never will be regardless of the number of offspring they have. They are too narcissistic, too image conscious ( what their children APPEAR to be is more important that what is actually going inside the child and who they really are) some women have not time for a child and don't care to make any. Other women are mothers from the day they were born, nurturing their friends and pets and any strays of animal or human that they meet along their way. They are the great gardeners, the poets, the mothers of the world. They are the ones who stop to pick up a paper or object that some one else dropped, the ones who speak and smile at the people they pass on the street or in the grocery store. They are the nurturers and no amount of or lack of children can change that. NMB, Airdrie

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Re: "Saying nice things about my relationship with my mother was difficult enough during her life, no less so since her death." and "My relationship with my mother was far from what anyone would desire. No doubt I have some things to discuss with my dad . . the guy who chose my mother for me." . . . Profoundly, lovingly written ... thank you. These thoughts also ring true for me...DE, Maui

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What a beautiful tribute. Even when you become a mother, Mothers day is always about your mum. I had to visit mine at a graveyard today because this day is always about her, not me. I know many women feel this way. My daughter shared the visit with me and we had a lovely talk and walk down memory lane, DL, Calgary
Thankyou for "expecting mothers". Mother's Day is NOT the Hallmark variety, although that is what some mothers get. Some mothers are cherished in memory and in life, some are not. Some mother's are visiting the graves of their children, some have never seen their children, some mother's care for other people's children. Some mother's are Lesbian, some are privileged, some are just grateful. Some fathers are very good mothers. Mother's Day is a reality check. Motherhood is not a static event, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's great, sometimes things just have to get better. Sometimes we need to nurture others. I am privileged, sometimes it's great and usually it keeps getting better. Yesterday I spent with my mother, still a Goddess at 87. Today I was the guest, celebrating my daughter's recent success and indeed her motherhood. She is already a Goddess at 35. Not sure where that leaves me, but I can't, won't, and have no desire to change anything. RNRN, Calgary

2C/ 36F, sunny & calm; the neighbourhood still save for dog walkers, mountains etch a silhouette like a rip-saw blade teeth

‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.’ - Rajneesh

I was a precocious child, so perhaps when I was in her womb, I was expecting a great mother, expecting a great relationship, wanting to be nurtured, loved, fed, changed & kept warm

someone told me once – I think it was my mother – that if you cannot say something nice, then don’t say anything at all

saying nice things about my relationship with my mother was difficult enough during her life, no less so since her death March 25, 1999, so I won’t use this day to vent

my relationship with my mother was far from what anyone would desire, yet I have met many mothers; cut from different cloth, these women are worth praising, honouring; women carrying extraordinary loads with style, grace, dignity & aplomb

this 2nd Sunday in May seems as good a day as any to speak of mothers & mothering, the day when mothers sleep late as kids play quietly outside without a sweater while dad makes breakfast

‘Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.’ - Ambrose Bierce

mothers & expectant mothers get lots of attention on this day when florists, phone companies, hotel brunches & Hallmark really clean up, why write about mothers today ?

I want to write about 2 expectant mothers who don’t know it yet; so far as I know they are not expectant or ‘expecting’ mothers in a traditional sense, but they are expectant mothers nonetheless, for one day they will be

from the moment they exited their mother’s womb, my daughters Carla & Krista were women in the making; so too, from that moment, they became expectant mothers

from that moment I knew they would be great mothers one day – they did not know it yet, but there would be lots of time; lots of time to see examples; to watch mothers in action – their own & others, their grandmothers, aunt & so many other role models they would observe

I played no role in their mother-child relationships – at best an observer, but for the most part I was oblivious, early on at least, to those relationships; I was challenged enough with my own as their father

if/when they enter the role of mother, I cannot imagine these 2 precious women will be any less accomplished & caring as mothers than they have been as being daughters

‘Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.’ - Aristotle

in my case there is no uncertainty & I wonder how my relationship would have been with them if I had carried them 9 months in my belly . . perhaps a stronger bond early on, but I doubt I could have loved them an ounce more than I do

my daughters, neither one having advised of plans to have children any time soon, are not yet expectant mothers in the traditional sense of that term – but they are surely expectant mothers in my mind

my daughters, you ARE cut from different cloth, worth praise, worth honouring; I am expecting you will be great mothers – I’ve been expecting it since you were born

no doubt I have some things to discuss with my dad . . the guy who chose my mother for me, that guy who nearly 55 years ago first expected me to be a father, a good father

I’m having brunch with my dad today, if we can get a table

they will be expecting so many mothers

Mark

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2C/36F, sunny & quiet; Gusta must be having a growth spurt we had a good workout/walk & Gusta still had energy left to do wind-sprints in the hallway once we got back – owner winded, pup just getting warmed up

Lennon said: ‘all you need is love, love; love is all you need’
I say: ‘all you need is send, send; send is all you need’

I had an idea . . then the phone rang [wrong number] . . poof it was gone

I had another idea . . then I got a cranky email from someone [some people need to be kept in our life notwithstanding how ridiculously they behave on occasion; others, not so much . . are they off base or am I ?. . ] they can go anytime

debates in person can rage , but with email, all you need is send, send’ send is all you need

sometimes it is all you need to start something, sometimes it is all you need to end something

most often those short missives have the same effect as that wrong number; not harmful, but just disruptive enough to lose train of thought & focus

all you need is send, send . . . send is all you need

Mark

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Mark, I couldn't resist responding to where were you in '69? I was on my "Grand Tour" of Europe with an Aquarian, a Leo and me a Pisces. Most of the fellow travellers were heading for the Marakesh Express but we chose the Ibizian isles instead and ended up in Formentera for a month. It was indeed the Age of Aquarius! I had no idea that 37 years later I would be thinking of investing in a personal RRSP!EC, Calgary

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Hi Mark - I remember the "Age of Aquarius" song very well – hard to believe it was 37 years ago. Where was I - an 18 year old living in the UK, working in an office, going out on week-ends by coach to go dancing in Bolton or Blackpool (for a change of scenery). Did any other musers go on these trips? Happy Memories - didn't realize then that one day I would be living in Canada! Have a great weekend and thanks for your musings, really brightens up my day – IS

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Hi Mark, "love will steer the stars" great lyrics.....another side to Mark....I'm liking it..., JP Vancouver

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Good Morning, John Kabat Zin was on CBC Ideas last night ….. as you know I have become hooked on CBC in the evening. He is a very interesting man …. A doctor with heart and soul. He was talking about being in the moment ….. mindful of what is happening in the here and now around us. Since starting to read your musings I sensed that you were more that way than the goal oriented way….. except maybe for….. getting some. Being mindful has become my preferred way of being in the world. Hope you have had a good week. Mom got her cataract removed, so I have been playing nurse. I also planted the garden, will finish it today in time for the full moon tomorrow. I am praying for a gentle warm rain. , Cheers DB, Calgary

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I was in the grade nine choir singing this very song, in the soprano section, it's a tough one to sing. I've never forgotten the words, it's a nice memory., DL, CalgaryHi Mark, Can you please remove XXXXX@YYY.COM from your musing distribution. I will still receive it on my home email :) Thank you.., DH, Calgary

9C/48F sunny in south Calgary . . Gusta has boundless energy –she’s been eating like a horse [OK, a small pony] . .anyway I was hard pressed to keep up

way too long; nearly a year I think since I’ve lunched with Loraine [LL]; today’s the day –I’m looking forward to hear about her many travels including being proposed to on the Great Wall of China – apparently her yes was a foregone conclusion; happy for my friend, so deserving of the happiness she’s found with Glen

coincidences ..or maybe just my observations of them increasing since reading Chopra’s ‘The Spontaneous Fulfillment Of Desire’ . . seem to be in abundance already this morning .. but that’s a story for another day

age of Aquarius - that 5th Dimension tune running through my head this morning for some reason - the dawning of the age of Aquarius; I have no memory for lyrics or talent to sing out loud, but chorus & tune are buzzing in my non-musical head – so I googled them:

When the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius The Age of Aquarius Aquarius! Aquarius! Harmony and understanding Sympathy and trust abounding No more falsehoods or derisions Golden living dreams of visions Mystic crystal revelation And the mind's true liberation Aquarius! Aquarius! I rose VERY early this morning – pre-dawning for sure & got working on my DRAFT ‘sample column’ for Alberta Venture Magazine; amazing how fast a couple of hours flew

flew by . . like the 37 years since I heard first heard that tune in 1969 have flown by

where were you 37 years ago ?

I had no vision of my future then; I had, at best, a vision of the 12 months ahead of me [things turned out very differently]

that bothered me, because I felt I should have a longer term view, longer term plans

today I have lots of long term plans, but my vision is another matter . . all short term & subject to changes . . lots of changes . . lots of influences on change

my vision is of here & now, today, right now – a vision of who I am & how I am & how I want to be

at best, maybe I can see 12 weeks into my future

or, realistically, maybe only 12 days . . .

only 12 days or maybe 13 . . but not long

I’ll be happy with – harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding

Mark 342,684

Hi Mark! Somehow, you have merged me back onto this list as I was removedfrom it previously. I have little time for my own musings let alone thoseof all others. Please remove me again but if world peace and hunger areever solved in the musings, I would love to hear about that! Cheers, KL, Calgary

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Please remove me from your mail list. I am off on an extended holiday. We are off on our sailboat to the Caribbean. Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts, JS, Calgary

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Orson Welles once said "We are born alone, we live alone and we die alone" I think I was in my thirties when I heard him say it. At the time the way I interpreted it was ...hmmm...cynical approach to life...but as I grew older I had a sudden realization that what he was saying was, we only answer to ourselves and the way we conduct our lives is up to us, good or bad, it's not about being alone because we all need social interaction but the way others see us will be the way we see ourselves. It's interesting how bits of wisdom and quotes are interpreted in space and time.....JP, Vancouver

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Thx. for your daily musing emails. As I have time constraints, I would like to discontinue receiving these until further notice. Wish you well in the future., FD, ?

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Keep at it Mark. I see your distribution is over 5,000 now. Many of us don't respond - perhaps we're not ready to have our ideas thrown out so widely... but we read. I look forward to your musings and read them everyday. Also, I took your suggestion and read "Man's Search for Meaning". Attitude is everything. Still seeking clarity. It will come. Be well!, L.S., Calgary

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'When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.' – Confucius . . This is a particularly appropriate quote today considering the government's announcement with regard to Kyoto. WH, Calgary

0C/32F, hazy breezy nippy, the park tranquil, welcoming, calm; nearly impossible to see dead trunks now that spring foliage filled out, visions of playing with that elusive rabbit distracted Gusta (a.k.a. the pulling machine) while my distractions were a mix of a ‘challenging client situation yesterday’ mitigated by apple Danish @ Fairmont end of a Maui beach walk memories (now 10 days since my last & I am still suffering withdrawal) . .

every now & then we have birthdays - KW has a little one today - hope you are well

every now & then - I know it is happening, as if I am sitting up in the corner of the room looking down at myself observing it happening . .

every now & then distractions & diversions & distress appear on my horizon – not pervasively, but about something

every now & then it can be a peculiar conversation, a deal gone sideways, or an idea balloon that gets deflated . . . not bigger than a pimple on the south end of a northbound elephant

every now & then, these little things make me stop for a ‘whoa . . what was that ?’ moment or two to reflect

every now & then I wonder, are these avoidance tools, coping tools or ‘good mental health’ tools – or are they signs I have some work to do ? . . maybe both !

these are not significant in the long run – but when they happen, I know I notice them more clearly & less often than I remember in the past; I would like to think that is a good sign

‘When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.’ – Confucius

Confucius was pretty smart . . understanding the complexities of modern live, complexities of business, complexities of 21st century human interaction . . pretty good for a guy who lived 551-479 BC

every now & then we do something that changes the pace at Singles and Friends Toastmasters; last night our club & 2 other groups joined SAITSayers to celebrate their 10th anniversary; I came away feeling these people are pretty dry & conservative compared to our club – or maybe not – maybe it was just the different dynamics of how it was organized ? as often happens, our laughter filled ‘post-meeting-meeting’ of speech topics & language nuances defy propriety in an otherwise quiet eating/drinking establishment with way too many references to ‘ BINGO’ [well, I guess you had to be there] . .

every now & then Gusta will be at my feet, asleep [as she is right now], having some sort of ‘nightmare’ making weird noises; this morning she is very animated & noisy . . a ‘night-rabbit’ perhaps

every now & then it is REALLY nice to get notes like I got yesterday: special thanks to those 9 who wrote - 9 notes taken collectively or individually that warmed me up pretty well

every now & then it seems the quality of discussion & commentary rises

9 of you rose to the occasion yesterday, I thank you . . & if he were here Confucius would thank you too

Mark

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We've only met once, briefly, and we exchanged business cards. That led to my being added to MUSINGS. I'm lucky. Dropping out of the rat race, even for a moment of sweet silence, listening to the sounds of silence, drinking in the karmaof friends, however distant, is what life should be; could be; can be...if one wants it bad enough. Your way is through musings. and those who pay attention to life, rather than work, work, work are appreciative. I'm watching a Robin draw food from my front yard, for the chicks, as I write. Then off to work till noon. Golf with a close buddy this afternoon then barbecue with the woman who puts up with me daily ..... for 36 years. A day of mental "hooky". A great day!!, Cheers, DD, Calgary

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Mark: I am not sure how I got on your list but I do know exactly where you are coming from in doing this. For years I wanted to start a free newspaper that I wanted to call "Since You Asked" and on one side it was going to be titled "Here's what I think" and on the other side "Here's what you think". My idea was a lot like yours in that I just wanted to put down my own thoughts on the good and the questionable things that happen each day and then hear how others felt about similar topics. Anyway, I never did it and you did, so well done. I probably delete the majority of your "musings" but I do read them often enough to enjoy them. Interesting process and interesting what computers have done for communication. Incredible day in Calgary......, GB, Calgary

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HI Mark - Your Calgary today sounds like the kinds of day to go to bed with a good book or a friend who has read one., KC, Edmonton

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Hi Mark, I was in Central America for a month and your musings kept me connected to home. When I got a chance to check my email I always knew what the weather was in Calgary. CL, ChestermereSometimes I delete them, sometimes I glance quickly through sometimes I read them in detail. But don't stop doing them. Gems are found when needed. As for a pounding rain, the beauty and strength of nature is awesome and wondrous to behold. As for a cruel blizzard, having heat and shelter(just being out of the wind) becomes a source of simple contentment. And a gloomy day provides the contrast to really enjoy and appreciate a clear blue sky, the lapping of water on the shore and the simple companionship of a friend, four legged or not, GW, Athabasca

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Mark: This morning's musing (Servant of process) was fascinating because you actually gave your readers your own "recipe" for what you do with the daily blog. This kind of honest disclousure is what hooks me. Good or bad, you share your inspirations and disappointments on a daily basis. Also, I really enjoyed the musings from Maui. It was like a vicarious tropical breeze every morning, just reading your thoughts. Thanks for your efforts!, KE, Calgary

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Hi Mark, while not a perfect atmosphere to achieve greatness there is something to be said for curling up under an afghan on a dark stormy night with the sound of thunder and the vision of fork lightning lighting up the sky, the sound of the wood fireplace crackling like popcorn. It can scary and harmonious at the same time....yes, a good storm may inspire and be therapeutic as well if one doesn't resort to hiding under the bed....ahhh...childhood memories...JP Vancouver

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Hey Mark, I just wanted to drop you a quick line and again pass on my encouragement and praise for your daily musing. They are a moment of calming to me wish I would have read yesterday before losing my cool. Oh well we all have to blow off some steam! Mark I also wanted to see if you could give a couple of my charities a plug in your weekly Facilities Column? Mark keep up the great musing and I wish you every success you require., FE, Calgary

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I definitely enjoy your musings. They provide some clear (or not so clear) questions about life in general. Maybe I will have something smart to say about some of your topics as I get more comfortable. You never know, you might be surprised., DJ, Calgary

Frequently Asked Questions:
1. people ask me why ?

2. why do musings ?

3. why the format ?

4. why the weather report ?

5. why the dog walking report ?

6. why the ending with the # of hours left in my life ?

7. why add the responses from the previous day ?

8. when/how do you write musings ?

Answers:
1-2 What began as a lark . . a note to 6 friends + my daughter soon became become habit, hobby, fixation, fun & most importantly –a cathartic learning experience as the hub of a wheel which connects daily with so many incredibly interesting people all over the world . . . strange some times how much we are different, stranger still how much we are the same

3. It has evolved . . but mostly so it is consistent in terms of structure & to make it as simple as possible to do, to read . . . a beginning & an end pierced by a middle !

4 - 7 Structure, habit, routine, formatting

8. I am a creature of habits, the repetitive routine of this process allows me to do the mundane & routing as I am waking up. When I get up I boot up my computer for the day, check my mail . . then construct the format of the day’s musing . . leaving the middle . . the blank white space; that in between space between the bookends of that structure, like an Oreo cookie waiting its filling to be installed . . THEN I walk Gusta . . . then I write about my walk, then . . lastly . . I write the middle portion. Sometimes I return filled with ideas that leap from my fingertips to the keys, but more often I have a jumble of ideas that need to be poured onto the page & rearranged quite a bit before reaching any stage called cogent or complete


today’s musing:

1C/34F in south Calgary [chilliest place in Canada this morning], brilliant day ahead, calm chill mitigated by perfect empty sky, the cleanest clear blue

I was wondering, if there is a ‘perfect day’ model for creativity, for success, for achieving great things . . it MUST be a day like today

I cannot imagine achieving something great on a gloomy day

I cannot imagine solving a complex problem in waves of pounding rain

I cannot imagine having an ‘ah-ha moment in the heart of a cruel blizzard

no . . this is the day, this is the kind of day when great things can happen

I am a servant of process; just as these musings happen to be a product of that process . . my day, my routine for getting things done – yet every now & then I try something radically different only finding, should it stick, that I have worked it into my routine . . so it no longer feels radical . . it IS routine, it is part of the routine

musings began that way; the walking & the writing were a radical departure . . but in those first few months of doubting & wondering what this was, where this was going I adopted it into my routine, made it servant of this process

what once was a radical departure from my routine is now the very foundation of how I make my way into & through my day

I wonder what I’ll do next ? change next ? solve next ? make part of my life next ?

meeting downtown & drive time dictate I scoot now . . adieu

Mark

341,732

4C/39F, nippy walking early in the park, mixed-media sky indicates the weather man had a restless night; none in sight but Gusta sniffed where critters had been anyway . . . we found only calmness & quiet

I have a few BHAG’s on my wish list

multiple-postponements concluded at Oh Canada, lunch with DK – our BHAG discussion evolves; massaging those details requires clear thought

the BHAG - big hairy audacious goal - worth sipping a little more coffee, more key strokes needed, details to be figured out; massaging, caressing an idea whose time is right becomes an action plan becomes an exit strategy for retiring apartment owners becomes a business becomes a step of a journey becomes a ______ ?

. . not sure yet where it will go

will it be a worthy BHAG, or just another real estate syndication investment vehicle ?

easy to do something good, easy to do something better, really hard to be a great BHAG !

what does clarity spring from ? will I find it sipping coffee on my patio ?

as traffic rushes by can I find the calm, find the quiet, find the solution . . . . ?

my calm is broken by machinery

I listen & watch the site across the road; once a farm, now scrapers skim soil constructing in a few days a massive pile, a stockpile landscape contractors will deplete 1 truckload at a time over the next few years

rich topsoil, millions of years in the making, once farmer’s raw material, now a commodity piled for sale by a developer with what he thinks is a BHAG; it’s not . . it’s just a subdivision, nothing new, nothing thoughtful, nothing all that creative . . it’s just a subdivision

interesting transformation though; a farmer’s retirement exit strategy becomes a developer’s input cost becomes a neighbourhood becomes a place where kids learn to ride a bike & play road hockey

some days keystrokes fly off my fingertips . . some days a slower softer caressing keys to massage word structure

to get it ‘just right’ first requires clear thought

work will wait a bit . . . but not long

Mark

341,756

Apple pie for breakfast is an even more balanced meal if you put cheese on it (warmed just a bit to soften), AIR, Calgary

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I think apple pie is best when served with a nice sharp cheese – thereby adding another food group. It would make a fine breakfast, although pizza is still my favourite. Your musings are becoming a much enjoyed breakfast treat as well ... thank you, LC, Vancouver

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Hello! This is unrelated to your musing today, but you are in the real estate business and I require the services of a lawyer to ensure my title transfer etc is all done properly for a condo I am buying. I do not have a lot of extra cash to spend on this so if you or anyone else can recommend an individual who can help a first time home buyer in Calgary, I would be grateful. The lawyer would ideally be centrally located and reasonably priced (I am riding my bike everywhere and selling my vehicles to cut down on costs) they are basically holding a mortgage cheque in their trust account until the title is transferred. Thanks!, SA, Calgary

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Thanks for your investment in us, 4000 +. I hope you feel a ROI (which means "King" in French btw) from musings because you should. I'm sure many, like me, don't reciprocate daily but we certainly consider, reflect and chew on your eclectic thoughts. You reap what you sow and your garden is a lush, tropical rainforest., DL, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Please add the following to your email list – XXXX.COM Thanks, WA, Calgary

5C/41F, overcast & calm; Gusta & I took a leisurely stroll around the lagoon on the short leash [extendible leash gasped its last]; both of us bagged from working very late into the night - she feels an obligation to be my foot warmer no matter how long it takes [we did take time to play while I watched the 2nd last episode of West Wing] on Sunday nights

life is full of it. . education, child rearing, paper cuts, puppy rearing, relationship development & renovations, all-nighters & bleary eyes . . .

life is full of fatigue . .

as I drag my weary body around, stoke myself with coffee & toasted English muffins swimming in peanut butter it is interesting to make ‘self observations’

my body craves going back to bed, but alas the magnitude of my Monday pile of work + phones ringing & lots of emails & faxes early leave me challenged to get this finished & to hit SEND

challenged to get my motor running & mind in gear; reading Monday-thin newspapers devoid of NEWS or ideas, net surfing, tossing laundry or dishes in machines & bathroom reading fail to ignite me

this happy fatigue from a weekend INVESTING lots of labour input mailing lists & formatting that will make my publishing life easier [or allow more work time !] saving hundreds hours per year – many rounds of golf no doubt – a great ROI

in short, what I put out there pays rewards apropos to the investment made, sometimes that requires a little fatigue, sometimes it requires a lot

ROI - return on investment - income from efforts, blooms from flowers we plant, feedback from those we affect; it may not always gird loins but certainly wakes sleepy heads & gets us up & out into traffic . . . accelerating

just as fatigue is reality, so is snapping out of it . . . figuring out how is was challenge du jour

added to this I’ve had some ‘broad smile’ moments with this morning’s male/mail: Andre’s comments on apple pie + a note from ND telling me about the ‘Digital Examiner’ publication, adding it is a newsletter for prostate cancer folks . . . I almost drop my pie

just when you least expect it, someone will ignite you with a broad smile on your face, that’s ROI

life is full of it. .

life is full

life is

life

start your engine

Mark

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Hi Mark, glad you had a good time anyway sans Neil but the whole why me? is well....Karma....you have been dealt the life you have for a reason. Maybe the reason is to inspire others with your words, the same way for example an artist inspires with a painting or an inventor providing something useful. I know since I have been reading musing I have stopped to smell the roses, counting my blessings for the first time in a while. Now, I don't know if it was only that but a small part of a series of events that have happened in my life that brought me here. Yes, I do believe it's Karma. JP Vancouver

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What hereafter -hereafter? - this is IT! Sounds to me that you are doing just what you need and love to do and enjoying it. My naivety and curiosity prompts me to ask - what you mean about the lemon tree?, TP, Toronto

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Mark, Three cheers for apple pie for breakfast. One of my favorite breakfasts is apple pie. Having suffered the abuse of friends and loved ones about this need, I did a little research. I learned that apple pie was invented as a staple breakfast food by the Quakers, somewhere near to Philadelphia. Also, despite the amount of lard or shortening that is required to make the pastry, chemical analysis of apple pie has revealed that the pie contains about half of the fat that is found is an equal amount of toast with butter and jam, or bagel with cream cheese, and of course far less than common breakfast foods such as bacon and eggs or pancakes. The more apples (and I like mine thick), the less fat. Also, as a pie baker, an apple pie will always be better if you use less sugar. I would be happy to dig up these sources if you, or others, guffaw at this suggestion, AK, Calgary

6C/43F, quiet calm sunny start; Gusta has a cow-like appetite for shoots of new grass on the park floor, green overtakes yellow, trees are nearly all leafed out

Sedaka concert last night cancelled/potponed due to performer illness; SC & I had a good time anyway that included lots of good chat & my second viewing of Burt Munro’s odyssey ‘The World’s Fastest Indian’

I’ve been so fortunate; I don’t work out as regularly as I should, don’t eat a great diet [my idea of fruits & grains for breakfast is 2 pieces of apple pie], have lived a life that has been pretty lucky in terms of life, limb & health . . some risks taken, but for the most part they have not been extraordinary ones either physically or psychologically – though marriage # 2 really was bizarre – so that I find myself wondering . . . why me ?

‘don’t sweat the small stuff’, as cliché as ‘would you like fries with that?’; but what about people for whom small stuff is REALLY big stuff ?

why me ? why am I well ? why is someone else not ?

why am I leading a relatively trouble free life ?

what did I do to deserve this ?

I take much of what I do for granted; not thinking of getting dressed, getting across town or getting UP for anything particularly difficult or exhausting

if getting by easily was based on living a life of god fearing purity, surely I would be at the very sad & lonely end of the hope line . .

does anyone have a better right of passage to get through life disease free, difficulty free, disability free, trouble free ?

if yes, then where do we sign up ?

if no, then what determines who gets an easy ride ?

why me ?

oh never mind . . it doesn’t matter why

what matters for me is what I do with what I got

I want to live like a Burt Munro

to TP: your note yesterday prompts me to respond – my end of the belief spectrum holds that life on earth is all that we have; recognizing I might be wrong about that [even if I was on the other end of the spectrum with expectations of extraordinary afterlife], I cannot imagine relaxing about applying myself daily, cannot imagine going about my business as if THIS life is just a warm-up act for the real concert

I try to extract the fullest experience I can every day, not because it might be my last, but because I can

. . because it deserves the doing, because we all deserve the getting that comes from that

anyone got a lemon tree in need of fertilizer ?

Mark

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Enjoyed your entry, like your mantra "because I can!" At least your enjoying your life, most people seem to take "life" for granted, myself included!, KG

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Hey Mark, you might want to read "Breaking the Death Habit " - by Leonard Orr - founder of Rebirthing. What if you knew you had forever, would that take you out of this urgency? Just think - Life is inevitable. I Am alive now therefore my life urges are stronger than any death urge, TP, Toronto

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ditto on the company, ditto on the movie, thanks!, DL

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Just wanted to share with you this editorial cartoon from today's Edmonton Journal. I'm sorry that we cannot kick some Flames butt in the Battle of Alberta ... instead we will have to settle for just GLOATING .....!!!!! GO OILERS GO !!!!, KH, Edmonton