Musing

Feeling blue bunkie? Ch, Chimacum

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the lack of affectation is the lack of soul...We know you don't wish it, EJJ, DeWinton

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Mark, here in God's country, in the heartland of hockey, in the City that best defines the Western Canadian way, we have just experienced one of the most perfect days in recent memory. Older men with beer bellies mowed grass and leaves below the bright harvest sunshine and, with their shirts off and the sweet sweat poring off their foreheads and stinging their eyes, so I hear. The colors this year are pure gold - thank man for global warming - let's enjoy the good times while they last!, JM, EdmontonThe sand in the hourglass moves slowly enough that you can almost count the fall. Be well, VJP, DeWinton

10C/51F, cloudless, light breeze, geese honk, the park trees shed leaves which fall like sand in an hourglass, leaving more & more clear view each day; a crab-apple buffet was stripped clean here last night by visiting deer; morning calm shattered by road machinery & trucks @ 6:30 AM; makes me wonder why they cannot do that during the week when everyone is up already; it's beautiful out - some indoor activities will just have to wait

sometimes I just wish I would be unaffected by events of the day vacation times help, but not completely; I have days like that, yesterday was not one of those; I have my moments when I wish I would be unaffected by the events of the day, the things that are said & done by people I know, by people worlds away, by people who run our country, by people who run nothing – just everything, for a day or two – put on ignore, shoved way beyond the back burner, but I can’t

I have days like that, yesterday was not one of those

so far it looks like fall, feels like fall & the sand in the hourglass waits for no one

leaving us a more clear view each day, unaffected by events of the day

Mark

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Hi Mark: Continue with your writing as you have a good "voice.", Warmest Wishes, JA, Calgary

11C/52F, steady breeze, partly cloudy; Gusta befuddled by an empty lagoon that hosted so many geese just last night; leaf volume on the ground not 50% yet but approaching fast

two middle aged girl-watching guys noshing on a patio last night; a great catch up visit with BH; we reminisced about old stuff a little, but mostly talked about how the world would be so much better if we were running it!

tackling projects/problems/obstacles is something Brent & I have had lots of experiences with; both individually & together we’ve challenged status quo, we’ve started over & over & over

starting over seems so scary

starting seems less scary

start is shorter

go, shorter still

go ahead

go ahead, start something

go ahead, start something bold

go ahead, start something daring

better yet, go ahead, start something bold & daring

you might not change the world overnight, but you surely will change your day

just a little post-script about recent deer encounters; to refresh readers memories, 2 young bucks were visiting often recently until 1 was killed by a car; last night for the first time since then the other visited – as I went out to the patio to get closer, there, sitting on the grass at the edge of the patio was a big gray rabbit (feet all white!); not sure if this was something karmic relative to recent references to thumper & bambi . . but it was very cool

pleasant weekend everyone – gotta run

Mark

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12C/53F, calm, priceless; this morning is warm, our walk through the park like walking through a Tommy Thompson painting absent the rocks; Gusta nosed a big white poodle but neither of them were in the mood for more

is it OK?

I think we forgive so many things in ourselves, the things no one knows about, the thoughts known only to ourselves

if we heard of such things in someone else we might look askance, but in ourselves it is OK, we cut ourselves lots of slack, we rationalize, we ignore

but who wants critique, really?

who wants a friend a stranger or the guy in the mirror judging us?

I want critique; I hate it in the moment, but I learn so much from it

I need critique; I hate it but it makes me better

I need critique: I hate it but it is the thing that spurs me to grow

I hate it when it happens, but I remember the critical commentary until long after praise fades away

observing others is easy, observing ourselves is something most of us avoid most of the time, but when we do it is ego driven, self serving & far too congratulatory for our own good most of the time – my view

I’m not talking about what we say about ourselves to others, but that more important dialogue we have with ourselves

that conversation we have deep inside, those telling tale signs of how we deal with people that reflects so much of what we think about ourselves deep down

deep deep down

if we are not calm, clear & true to ourselves inside how could we possibly expect to find validation anywhere else?

many would say they are far more self-critical than they deserve but I disagree; I think if we were ½ as harsh on ourselves as we are on others we might be giving ourselves some constructive critique – or, we might rethink how judgmental we are of others

every once in a while a hand knifes out of a crowd to shake my hand saying ‘nice to finally meet you’; one such character, by that I mean a man of much character reached out; I spent some time with him (SB) yesterday, we spent a long while chatting about musings, about how it started, how it works etc; he said nice things, I smiled appreciatively; I learned more about him & his business; nice to get acquainted

. . . . it just occurred to me that we have quite a few musers with SB initials!

Mark

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Well said! I have to correct myself constantly on this one – am I listening to understand or listening to respond? I like to remind myself of one of the habits Covey wrote about. Seek first to understand then to be understood. Easy to say, so hard to do, GH. Strathmore, Alberta

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Hi Mark - hope all is well. I have been vacationing in Mexico the last two weeks and coincidentally I haven't received any musings during this time...I don't recall asking to stop sending them to me in my absence - although I did think it!! Regardless, now that I am back, can you please add me again to your musings. Thanks, MR, Rossland, BC

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I find what you say about listening to be really important and most of the time I really find myself not listening. I think it is because I allow so many other things that are going on in my life to be my main thought. I think so much about what I am going to do and I am going to do it , that when a friend needs me to listen I find it hard sometimes. I thank you for reminding me that what friends, family, co-workers, even strangers have to say is important, and it is important for me to take the time to listen, KS, Calgary

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About listening – that is why G-d (or evolution) gave us two ears and only one mouth! MM, Calgary

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Hi – hope you are well. I am off to Vancouver to get dental work done and close the cabin. I cannot wait to sit by the ocean. I am actually hoping its cool enough for a fire in the stove. Life is crazy hectic but good. I hope you are well. I will write more next week…. Not that I have much to say as I am immersed in PDD and disabilities. I am finding that Michener folks suffer discrimination because of their address. I find that very odd but I am sure you know all about that. Somewhere service providers forgot that these are people living at Michener …. They are different than others who have addresses off Medley Drive etc Its so strange to me to preach inclusion blah blah but practice exclusion because of an address. Gated communities of the very rich seem similar to me. Oh well enough rambling to Mark. Are you going to Dale Auger’s art exhibit in October? Cheers, DB, Red Deer

3C/19F, tons of sunshine light up the calm in South Calgary; this is ‘one of those few precious days’ where virtually all the leaves have turned colour, the majority still on the trees; in a few days, with or without wind or rain, that picture will dramatically change – feels like a day for a drive in the country

in NHL hockey we had ‘the original six’; in these musings have ‘the original 8’ who started this daily connection; one of my favorite people, one of we 8, MP, earns another ring-on-the tree of life today, so if you know Marilyn Palmer, say happy b-day to her today

discussion with MW over breakfast yesterday; we talked about how well we listen

I don’t mean ‘missed the sale today because I didn’t listen’ or ‘lost the deal for failure to pay attention to what they were saying’; I mean the REALLY important stuff with people who really matter to us, though the same elements face us every day in work/business

we learn it painfully

we learn it when that person is no longer available & we long for the opportunity to grab back a few minutes of what we missed, we learn it when someone, some opportunity seems to have slipped away, gone onward

they, whoever ‘they’ are, say moments of anguish like that are sent to teach us something

listing to our children, parents, partners when we have them – is too important to miss; we can’t go back to claim the missed opportunities to listen to someone

listening to someone’s sad tale is sometimes boring

listen because you care about the person without concern for whether you care about the story

actually listening with focus, without distraction

those times might be recaptured, but not the mood/moment

those times can be re-created, but not the availability

when do we learn this?

when/how do learn to listen, to hear, to empathize, to understand

we can learn it by thinking about it, practicing, but too often we learn it more painfully when an opportunity is gone, when listening is possible any more because of circumstance

we talked about that a lot, then we ate

over the years I've improved my skills in selling, presenting - in dealing with people in general; one might say I've had some well deserved successes, but the more I look at what works for me I know it is because I've talked less, presented less while learning how to shut up more, to listen more, to realize more than anything the person I am hearing needs/wants me to

what often happens, especially when men listen to women, is that we start of listening but what we have such a strong urge to do is to jump in offering a solution, to help solve something when what was really wanted, really needed was that we listen

stop this morning to listen

if there is someone who needs you to listen, call
them up today & give yourself some time to listen to
them

you probably both that experience

maybe it is someone you’ve looked across the breakfast table at for 25 years, but somewhere along the way you both stopped listening; maybe it is time to try again

maybe it is someone you recently met - someone you want to connect with really well but somehow failed to; maybe it is just a phone call, maybe a meeting - but giving ourselves a chance to try listening again might be the best gift we give someone or give to our selves

give someone a chance to talk, give yourself a chance to listen - you might not get the chance again

Mark

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Perhaps it not the truth that people fear, but the way it is told. Some people use a bomb approach. TD, Calgary

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Actually, it was Thumper who said “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” and this was only voiced at the coaching of his mother. I just thought that since someone felt compelled to clarify the “tilt of the earth” thing and EXACTLY when the seasons change you might enjoy another anal comment, or not, DL, Calgary

10C/51F, clear, calm, overcast – the 200 geese who honked up a storm on the lagoon late yesterday are gone; Gusta sniffed everywhere but found not a one – later there will be more as it appears there must be a rest-stop sign up there somewhere

the crowd much much older than we at the Neil Sedaka concert last night – interesting - pizza @ Nick’s after & SB’s company made it all worthwhile

Bambi's mother (not to be confused with Ted Morton's wife) said 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'; there is a time I suppose to be Bambi's mom, then again, there is a time to forget children's story value teaching & tell it like it is

‘Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.’ – Sydney Harris

directness, honesty, clarity & expressing opinions are always right, right?

I’m not so sure

do people really want to know the truth or do they really want to say ‘I want the truth’ when they really mean ‘don’t tell me the truth because then I will be torn between the truth & what I want to do, plus, you will know the choice I make’?

this ‘should I tell it the way I see it’ vs. ‘be nice’ dilemma transcends business & personal relationships

the clear vs. the indelicate, the truth vs. perception, the way it is vs. the way we wish it was; the handling of which can have a direct impact on any relationship, often detrimental

not necessarily to speak out – but then again, if truth telling really damages any relationship, one has to wonder what kind of relationship it was in the first place

or wonder, what kind of relationship might it ever be?

my dilemma just this moment, is that I gotta run . . . . breakfast with MW

Mark

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Loving Mondays comes usually with being an independent contractor where you make your own activity it is when we go in to work for a boss that we have come to fear or a work environment which stresses us for all the wrong reasons that people hate Mondays. Monday is the first day of a new week and the chance to start over and forget last week’s blunders or procrastinations. Mark I did not know LS was a woman or her age I was just trying to connect with Calgary newbies since all my family is back East. ‘There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.’ - Henry Kissinger, LOL, GR Calgary

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I have missed you - a long, dry spell between musings. I don't know how I got off the list or how I got back on - but nice to hear from you again! LBK, Palm Desert

6C/44F, clear, breezy; most trees left with scarcely a hint of green - now looking like splashes of paint set against the evergreens; Gusta, busy eating disgusting looking things, often acts like a walking garbage disposal

To GR: down boy . . I'll not be connecting you with the lovely LS because, if there is any cradle robbing to be done, I’m in line in front of you; if she asks, I'll connect you but, GR, she is only 29 - too young for both of us!

‘A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor.’ – Victor Hugo

I love it when I have time for some of that invisible labour

I love any Monday when my pile of work is not very tall

Monday is here ever week, it always shows up on time – never late; Monday is that day between this week & last week when news is light & work could be too but my weekend procrastinating left me an intimidating mountain of work that awaits

it takes work to move these mountains

but wait

if I pull out the binder & folder - they can wait - it is really not very tall at all

I love Mondays

I love this Monday

Mark

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Re: ‘we who think these heroics are not heroics at all, simply doing what we need to do for those who need us to do it - not out of obligation, but out of a sense of doing what is right for our minds so our tummies feel settled’ - I like you a lot that you wrote this.. Something you've not addressed, as far as I know, is ethics. I think, now, you've made a start. I applaud you, VJP, Dewinton

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I don't know quite what to say...our evening immortalized. Not certain I can recall ever feeling so - understood, honored, validated. Your words have meant a great deal to me and will be placed in my archive of things held dear. You're a gem, CB, Calgary

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LS welcome I arrived in Calgary from Montreal in May; first apt in Calgary, first office, new career it is very exciting it si absurd at times but cardinal the archiitect said that creativity is plunging into the unknown. I am right now sending this message on a blackberry at the C level cirque off the upper backlands pkg lot on Minnewanka loop a great 4 km trail. Hiking alone has become a passion and the quiet and nature extremely good companions. MARK pls feel at ease to give my email to LS us newbies need a support group. Tks Mark for being so genuine and honest it will help others find a voice, GR, Calgary

9C/48F, brilliant early morning sun lit the way; our only encounter was glum border collie owner & enough droppings that a rabbit convention must have over-nighted in the park

2½ yrs since my last/first visit with CB; a delightful dinner last night with a gorgeous creature; she regaled me with her quest for fish stories, stories of her Namibia trip, of the creatures encountered, of Lion ardour & near-snake experiences + she capped the night by sending me an e-mail story she wrote that still has my hard drive smokin'

the un-likely-ness that things can happen has always intrigued me; someone coined the phrase ‘you cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd’; absurd, unlikely, not possible – these are phrases we use all the time; we use them to describe what we think people cannot do, what we cannot do

we use them in conversation like they were salt or pepper – tossed in for seasoning but really of little consequence; every now & then we encounter – sometimes we meet them, sometimes we read about them – so often ordinary people living extraordinary lives; sometimes these accomplishments are glorified by media hype or word-of-mouth exaggeration, sometimes they are moments of recognition, going to obliviousness at light speed

it is nothing to hear stories from friends or some obscure page in the paper that someone did something extraordinary for children, grand-children, for a piece of dirt or for peace of mind; around us we all have an opportunity to glimpse these folks – they are everywhere, they are our friends, they are us, they are we

we who think these heroics are not heroics at all, simply doing what we need to do for those who need us to do it – not out of obligation, but out of a sense of doing what is right for our minds so our tummies feel settled

yesterday I worked all day except for a brief bit watching TV while I ate lunch; CBC were doing live coverage of a ceremony off-loading coffins of 4 Canadian soldiers from a transport plane to hearses – the result of a suicide bomber on a bicycle

‘You can't say civilization don't advance -- for in every war, they kill you in a new way.’ – Will Rogers

I watched the grief, disbelief & shock on the faces of everyone there; I felt like a voyeur where I should not have been, where CBC ought not to have been; we were witness to the ceremonial end of 4 lives, lives that were ordinary, lives of soldiers who did extraordinary things because it was there job

this reminded me of how many times in my life I’ve been in or near a cemetery, seeing hundreds of markers row on row; everyone lived an ordinary life, most lived that ordinary life in an extraordinary way, but the soldiers graves were off in any area all their own; an area set aside to commemorate most extraordinary service, the loss of young life, the loss of so much promise

they were sent by the government of our country to do their jobs, to keep peace in a foreign land; they did their jobs working in harm’s way, they did not get out alive

they died for us

Mark

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I'll second that! Ch, Chimacum

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Hi Mark. Today is the first day in weeks that I’ve read your musings – now settled into my new-to-me home, I can focus on my new job and new life. A year of ‘firsts’ to be sure… Looking forward to seconds. Hope you’re well. LS, Calgary

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RE: worth the stretch - Sept. 21 musing - Mark, Sorry, My IP has been unavailable. Didn't mean to be cryptic but, rereading, I'm a little proud of my cryptivity. Haven't you ever noticed that the people who moan about how much they give are usually the most selfish? The ones who really do something are too busy to moan, also most often don't think about giving as a chore. The test of the giver is to look at the givee and see if it made any difference at all or if it was just for giving satisfaction. Real givers get hooked on knowing they make real difference, VJP, Dewinton

0C/32F, clear, sun rising as there is just enough breeze to make me tear up, Gusta loves rolling in the frosty grass

to my Jewish friends, Good Yontif, happy new year as they celebrate Rosh Hashanah marking Jewish Year 5767, a long way from their first

I feel so much better this morning; it wasn’t the Coho salmon for dinner last night (thanks DL for coming by to share it) nor the exercise; it wasn’t the exercise yesterday or the loss of 4.5 lbs. in the last 2 weeks; it wasn’t the new client or any new idea, it wasn’t the weekend ahead or the week put behind me

we live our lives with so many memories of our firsts, but we forget our seconds

the other day, at the Bonton, the clerk who might be a year or two older than me asked, ever so diplomatically, if I knew they had a Senior’s discount on Mondays for customers over 55? being 5 weeks ‘over’ I accepted my ‘first’ legitimate 15% off; I’ve been paying the senior’s rate at the movies for years, but this is the first time I was offered a legitimate senior’s discount, what a memory!

how many firsts do we get?

how many do we remember?

when we are young, or at least when I was, the firsts were always big events

first tooth, first step, first day of school, first bike, first heartthrob, first job, first date, first kiss, first base, first driver’s license, first time, first car, first marriage, first gray hair, first born, first business, first divorce - there are many more, but you get the point

most of us remember our significant firsts, but who remembers the seconds?

second helpings, second choices, second times, just a few seconds, second-hand, second string, second efforts, second time around, second base – who remembers those?

in days of duels, the dueling party always had a second close at hand - a nice tradition, the second was there to help; someone to be there for you to help celebrate your success, someone to comfort you in grief, tragedy or failure

the second was not there all the time, just when needed; I’d like to have a second, I’d like to be one too

one of those ‘I’ll be there for you’, ‘you be there for me’ kind of arrangements

I rationalized that I found it many times since, undoubtedly learning that the lackluster first date assured me that the second likely wouldn’t be much better

then there was that incredibly stupid second marriage that led to a second divorce as surely as anything could be sure

its not that I dislike the exploring, the search, the hunt; I’ve been there/done that so many times

I thought I found the brilliant moment of magical light three times; each failed to be the right long term solution, but each is a memory that will never be forgotten, each a precious memory of incredible magic; some lights burn for years, some only a few months, others for a few precious weeks

what a light!

I want another ‘second chance’,

not there all the time, just when needed

when there has been a first meeting, is the next time the first date or second?

Mark

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Mark--feeling the need to change the world just a little today--though may need a little help...your musings help, KC, Calgary?

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Okay, you have mentioned the changing tilt of the earth several times now. The engineer and data analyst in me can not help pointing out: The earth does not change its tilt more then an insignificant fraction of a degree in any given year. It will have a total variation in tilt of only a 3 degree swing over the next 40,000 years - not something anyone but a few scientists would notice or care about. This means that our seasons come and go not because the tilt of the earth changes but, quite the opposite, because the tilt is so constant. While the changing tilt was a useful literary device for your musings it was not an accurate one. Also, the equinox will not take place until 10:03pm (Calgary time) today, September 22nd. BB, Calgary

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You are getting to sound just like Eliza Doolittle !!!, bb, Liverpool, UK

6C/42F, light breeze & still overcast; the orange & yellow overtook the green - it rained, it blew, the equinox came & went; overnight nothing happened of particular note except the same thing that happened March 21; the earth was standing, un-tilted, with the sun over the equator for that day

if we do nothing, the world will continue to turn, the seasons will continue to change for a few more billion years without regard to any efforts we might make to ‘change the world’; if nothing else these 4 ‘season change’ days a year remind us the world is changing, tilting & revolving without us doing a thing, without us having to work or think or try at anything; today that tilting continues, days continue to shorten & nights get longer as has been the case, unchanged, for billions of years

‘You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters are continually flowing in.’ – Heraclitus, 500 BC

Thoreau said ‘Things do not change, we change’ which is true in many ways but not true in that change happens around us all the time whether or not we change ourselves

some of us will change the world

some will watch us do it

some will pay no attention

a precious few will change themselves

when they do, the world will may change a little or a lot or not at all

but when they do, the world will be better

seasons change effortlessly, so can you

some of us will watch you do it

some of us will pay attention

Mark

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Hey Mark, I didn’t have to ask, who are you and where are you headed, I can get a glimpse of who you are by your wonderful writing. I see you as a kind, gentle sensitive person. Plus a dog lover! , SC, Calgary

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Loved today's musings - will be using the Lao Tse quote somewhere soon., CB, Calgary

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Sounds like you're under some stress and at the verge of a "Should I? or Should I not?" decision, speaking of changes and always doing things to serve others. Maybe it's just the dreary weather as of late and a SADD light might help. Or some caffeine. Caffeine is good. :o) Make the decision that is best for you in your life. You cannot please anyone, if you cannot please yourself. From the "Garden Party" song: "You can't please everybody so you've got to please yourself." I think that was the quote you used. What drives you? What does not appeal to you? Where are you going? Do you really want to go there? Is your heart in it? What's in it for you? Is it worth it? Life's too short to deny yourself happiness. And speaking of what hands we're dealt: how many of those hands are 'dealt' by fate, and how many are dealt by no one else but ourselves. Depends on if you believe in predetermined destiny and blaming others, or taking responsibility and taking the reigns of your own destiny. The horse or rider...which one are you?, anonymous post on the blog

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Perhaps all of us, when challenged with the question of our unrequited giving, might examine just what we are giving to those who should recognize and be kind about our giving (or our gifts past), much less the broader world of givees ie. those who so selfishly and stupidly don't appreciate our efforts. I volley just a thought -- that maybe, just perhaps, a few of you stopped short in the giving, feel a bit guilty, worry that you've not or are not giving enough. Another thought. To give with ultimate effect, it is the person receiving the gift that should wonder and/or bless where it came from, not the poor giving soul, wondering where it went. What wiggly logic, to feel sorry for the giver. Frighteningly wiggly to identify, never questioning, VJP, Dewinton

5C/45F, overcast, steady breeze ruffles leaves on this last day of summer; our morning walk uneventful, Gusta is enjoying these cooler days

the earth goes around & round, goes around the sun & never changes its basic direction – but it tilts back & forth bringing balance, change & renewal

today is the end of a season, tomorrow brings another; what will change for you?

if you do nothing, the answer is easy; if you tilt in another direction – a deliberate one – some things will change, in part the things you seek to change but more importantly the ones you’ve not considered that will happen when you look a different way, explore new ideas, tackle new projects

it would be easy to settle for the hand we are dealt, adjusting to it, rationalizing that we do not have choices; it is far more difficult to make changes in the simplest of things let alone major elements of values, direction & how we spend our energy

I’ve written lately about changing focus, changing direction & rethinking some things; I came across this quote which said it so well, so very well, so very long ago:

‘If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.’ – Lao Tzu (600-531BC)

perhaps Lao Tzu had fewer things on his plate so he had more time to think things through or maybe his words were directed at one person about one particular thing, however when I read these words they seem so pure, so timeless, so fitting in many circumstances

over the past number of months I’ve addressed direction, focus & ‘results expected’ in each element of my life, lifestyle, work & play; 8 stickies on the wall now from an original 50+, as I read them regularly they fit with my mind, fit with my belly – but I know new ones will go up, old ones will come down each time I change direction, or try to

a muser wrote to me yesterday - inquiring if it was OK to fix me up with some of her friends (not hard to answer that question) - she followed up with questions of what I was looking for; a better question might have been: 'who are you & where are you headed?'

direction doesn’t mean we will arrive at a particular destination, it simply describes where we are headed

do you know, have you ever sat still long enough to think about it, to recognize what pleases you vis-à-vis what doesn’t?

more than attitude, more than values, more than routine & resignation, more than acceptance of how things are, I/we need to regularly examine our direction; where are we headed?

is it a direction that will fulfill a dream, achieve a goal, do good, bring happiness to us – to others, or will it disappoint?

charting a new direction is not simple, charting a new direction is hard

the best fruit is out there on the skinny branches, hard to reach but worth the stretch

Mark

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Mark you sound down, for a couple days now. I don't know you well, but you have generally been very positive and upbeat. Perhaps it's the caffeine, perhaps the grey skies, perhaps the coming of autumn/loss of a beautiful summer. Chin up. Life is still wonderful. Pleasing/helping others is not a bad thing, but in order to do so, we must please ourselves first to be effective. It may seem you don't have the time to take a break for yourself, but you must! Do one little thing to please mark. The earlier today, the better. Then set out to do your tasks. TA Calgary

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You took the words right out of my mind….”the pleasing others and not looking out for No. 1 enough of the time”…. Our self talk and ethics are learned early. All my siblings have similar traits however much more selfish than myself. Oh well, I can change, can’t I?, SA, Calgary

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Hi – should I be concerned about not receiving your musing? I hope everything is OK, I just wanted to let you know that I missed it. I sure could use you close by right now I have to teach a lesson on testicular self examination. I don’t know the postman well enough to ask him and you are likely the most open guy I know and would be a willing participant. Oh well I will be forced to wing it and present it to a group of giggly girls. Should be fun., DB, Red Deer

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Ah, a bouquet of sharpened pencils……tis the season DDB, Calgary

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HELLO MARK,I JUST STARTED READING YOUR MUSINGS , AND WHEN I NEED THOSE TWO DEEP BREATHS I GET A CUP OF COFFEE AND TAKE A FEW MINUTES TO READ. THANK YOU FOR THOSE "TWO DEEP BREATHS"., KS, Calgary

6C/43F, lagoon bursting on another overcast dull day, green leaves still outnumbering coloured but not for long; very autumnal weather as the equinox approaches in 2 days

thanks to LR for the note & picture & congrats/happy birthday to EK who marks a birthday today by embarking on a new business venture

is it the day’s schedule, is it keeping on top of our ‘things to do’ or doing the things we do to try to please everyone/anyone/someone? what is important?

the old song lyric about ‘you got to please yourself’ or something like that rings true for me this morning; I’ve a table full of work, a list of calls to make & a full agenda – all focused on pleasing others; my day is full, my writing of these musings interrupted by 5 phone calls & 3 urgent emails already, each needed to be dealt with, each needed attention yet not one of them related to my priorities

sometimes I can’t do my best, sometimes I get weary of it all & don’t care to do my best – or so I consciously try to reverse myself – but it doesn’t work; I revert to being driven in the way I was taught at a young age; the blame/credit goes to an early employer, an 8th grade teacher & my dad

since I was 17 I have been in the business of pleasing others, of giving service, of delivering on a standard I was taught, that I had modeled by my father who taught me a work ethic & by those people who encouraged me to deliver my best every time

maybe the arrival of fall has sped up the earth, sped up everyone’s needs, sped up the pace a little more raising everyone’s expectations

I expect, perhaps, more of myself than is reasonable which would suggest I cut back on that which I take on, prioritize what is most important to me 1st, everything else will have to be tied for 2nd

taking any break will have to wait a day or two – until then I’ll take two deep breaths & I’ll plunge in

‘Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.’ - Etty Hillesum

it’s one of THOSE kind of days

or, maybe, it can be explained by being my 2nd day in a row without coffee, without caffeine in any form

two days off coffee

two deep breaths

plunging in now !

Mark

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Hi Mark, I've been hearing a lot about these Sufi poets. Is there a collection that you would recommend? Cheers, KL, Calgary PS: I still owe you one dim sum lunch. Let me know what works for you. :)

3C/38F, calm under a fog blanket muffles traffic noise in the distance as small geese formations honk their way though training flights, constantly changing direction; Gusta wagged & sniffed at familiar dogs, ho-hum great to be home but shi is unimpressed by our usual park route after yesterday’s romp in Hawrelak Park

perhaps the wisdom of ancient Sufi poets from Persia hold the answer

‘It may be that the satisfaction I need depends on my going away, so that when I’ve gone and come back, I’ll find it at home’. – Jalal ad-Din Rumi (1207-1273)

last night I steered myself home, the trip to Edmonton & back is a bit of a blurrrrrr, good trip, good meetings, as short visit with Carla, dinner @ Louisiana Purchase with Krista + some loot from Bonton Bakery followed a busy day in Edmonton, a client meeting & reconnecting myself with some people there seems strange now, less like going home & more like going to visit some place I used to know but so much has changed direction

or maybe, just maybe, it is the think time that a 6 hr. round trip drive provides; time to examine the directions I travel; I regret not one of the directions I’ve taken, the paths I’ve traveled though sometimes I really wish I had been more alert about my options at a much earlier age – but then, I wouldn’t be the me that I am

Mark

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-1C/30F, calm, wisps of chimney breath list away from many roofs in a gentle breeze, frost on windshields; Gusta lunged at rabbits - she knew they were there, invisible in the inky shadows while crescent moon & those milky way billions of stars lit the way

lunch with my dad yesterday; SB stopped by for a quick visit, chats with several friends cheered me while I worked like a little beaver so I could get some sleep before starting this week with an early morning trek to Edmonton for a meeting & several pieces of business, coffee with daughter Carla, dinner at the Noodle House with daughter Krista, & back again this evening

each day I try, each day I learn, each day I make some progress – I think I do anyway – in learning a little more about the part of the world I live in, about the people I live near (including over 4900 musers at last count in various corners of the planet) – it seems so close & intimate at one moment, so remote & daunting just as quickly

the world is such a big place yet we live in our tiny corner of it, oblivious to most of what happens on this planet; we pretend via internet & media to be ‘staying in touch’ but mostly most of us are not most of the time; I try but the reality of people 2 provinces over is just as foreign to me as is the life of someone ½ way round the world

each time I visit Edmonton lately (7 yrs now since I moved back to Calgary) I feel both familiar & out of touch; at first I thought I would be doing lots of work in both cities & I was

frequent back & forth kept me focused the first couple of years, but now the trips are less business, more social, less familiar, more exploration of what’s new, less a going home & more a going away

staying connected, staying in touch, at a humble 200 miles seems beyond me anymore

today I will try

Mark

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Mark, Your musings often reflect my thoughts. I loved what you wrote about the first day of school. I had just watched the children walking to my local elementary school from my front window... such a wonderful sense of new beginnings. Great musing today... you made me laugh... Hope you find that "tingle"... and a date for next Saturday night!, DS, Spokane

. . .

Now that's an "up" picture! Cheers, GD, Calgary

. . .

HA! This made me laugh - My left arm tingoled all last fall - I finally went to a neurologist and he prescribed.... a new pillow. wow. but it worked and now I am tingle free... darn it!, CH, Chimacum

. . .

who took your tingle?...........it's simple mark...sunday came too soon after your high, saturday nights and sunday mornings are for sharing, rejoicing, yes, tingling with someone special..........that way u level the playing field ready for what the new week brings.......hope yours is a good one and glad that writing helped start to bring your tingle back .......that was sharing too....., CG, Calgary

. . .

RE: in memory of Eddie - Sept. 16 musing
I really found it funny at the time. Still do. Such a perfect eulogy for such a hound, so heartfelt. Appreciated, VJP, Dewinton

0C/32F, overcast & windy, gloves the order of the day; one shaggy dog spotted (actually, the dog wasn’t spotted) looking like a mini Panda - maybe Gusta will stop summer shedding now as frost nearly nipped last night, or maybe she will start hanging with that shaggy guy (I could have gone for the shagging pun but please note I avoided it)

pondering hills & valleys of my mood; this week took me to a very very high high, it was way up there; then, absent adrenalin flow my body reacted with fatigue when the clock did not call for it, cold-like symptoms when I did not have one, with feeling down when there was no reason for it at all

someone asked the other day , ‘are you always up?’ – she meant my mood; yes I said, stretching the truth a little - I have sunny days, I have gloomy ones too; I meant what I said, I feel very up most of the time except on days when missing elements are very conspicuous by their absence

‘I wish I was tingling’, my Sunday morning lament

my veggie pasta soup (what single men make on Saturday when company is NOT coming) was to die for, we watched Patton on the tube & Gusta barked at his ugly dog; a wonderful evening considering my efforts to get a date last night proved faulty

or maybe I didn’t really make a serious stab at it early enough or at all, a telling tale I suppose that I have been half-hearted & a bit weary about my efforts in that area of late

autumn chill & hot soup do not equal summer’s warmth or someone’s warmth

warmth comes in many forms - if I had some this morning I’d still be tingling all over

it would have been so nice to wake up in the arms of someone warm & willing this morning; instead I woke tangled up in my left arm . . the tingling is gone now, but that early numbness seems to affect my mood this morning

my energy is often high, my mood usually follows; I wonder on this gloomy looking day what a difference it would make if I was somewhere sunny this morning; a Maui beach walk or brilliant sunrise just about anywhere would change my mood as would waking up with someone warm & willing . . . more than my arm would be tingling

brunch with my dad will cheer me today, catching up with a few folks in Edmonton tomorrow will warm me then

tingling & warmth, they both ebb & flow

always nice to have one of them, sad when they are both AWOL

make some warmth today, feel some tingle today – share it with somebody warm & willing if you can; if not, then wait for the tingling & warmth - they will return, they always do

when I find myself a little lost I often look up quotes by writers - for inspiration - hoping someone else has already captured what I struggle to describe:

‘Friends who are not writers try to be sympathetic and understanding of a writer's mood, but, truly, it takes one to know one.’ - Lynn Abbey

‘If you are a genius, you'll make your own rules, but if not - and the odds are against it - go to your desk no matter what your mood, face the icy challenge of the paper - write. ’ - J. B. Priestley

write I will Mr. Priestly, I think Ill put on some motivating invigorating percolating tunes

who took my tingle? I don't know, but the tingling seems to be coming back
warmth might take a few more days

Mark

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Mark: Being a dog lover, I'm sad that your friend dog is gone. But the great thing is that he still brings a smile to peoples faces thru your memories, of him:-) Hope your door is closed:), CM, Calgary

2C/35F, overcast, chilly wind; everything is wet & the lagoon is bursting with water though not a winged critter in sight, Gusta romps all the same

beware of dogs named Eddie, you’ll never forget them

they are really great as long as you keep your pants on

some mornings, especially on weekends, I write a lot; some not - then I re-write, toss out, start over, start again & again & again - in part because I have the time, in part because I feel strongly about something but other times, like today

it is about a dog gone shame

VJP mourns the death of that beloved coon-hound dog named Eddie, lost to a debilitating tumour

beware of dogs named Eddie

I laugh (well, I do now but it was far from funny at the time) at the memory a few years ago when a certain coon dog caught me totally unaware, as he put his wet nose on my most private parts from behind when one would least expect it, where one would least expect it, while doing something immensely private with a shocking shriveling fearing for my life, for my gonads as a result

in the end, it all shrivels down to this:

keep your pants on unless the door is closed & beware of dogs named Eddie

Mark

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I love your outlook on life and can totally relate to it. Each day, as in life itself, is all how we chose to look at it. In my world, the glass is always half full (at least!). I have so much to be grateful and thankful for and I feel truly blessed. Yes, as with everyone, there are dark days, but I try to chose to figure out the lessons in them.... it makes us stronger and able to move on. I thoroughly enjoy reading things from someone so positive. Thank you, Mark! TA, Calgary

. . .

Hi Mark, I've been catching up on musings, having built up something of a backlog of them here. You sound very up at the moment. It must be your travels around the country looking at properties and dreaming that dream of your rural idyll. Well, it has been said that the hunt is more exciting than the catch anyway. The summer's just ending over here; we had a flaming June and July, August was a washout and September has given us a sultry Indian summer before the trees start to turn colour. Suddenly the screaming flock of swallows that swoop over my garden has left. So it's back to school for me. I'm teaching primary this term, which is a joy. Such a change to be working with little kids, still full of enthusiasm and amazement instead of the cynical, teenage public examination fodder which our British system churns out. I also have two adult evening classes on the go and some weekend special needs tuition, all to raise the funds for my trip to Canada, which I still haven't organised yet, but of course, I'm always late for everything. Also I've just embarked on a strange and fascinating relationship with a very unusual man; an esteemed author and entertainer who I would have considered to be right out of my league but who seems to think I'm the very epitome of mature, womanly sexuality. (Great! no more dieting). I was prompted to write to you because you mentioned the many neutral people in our lives, people we encounter frequently but to whom we have no particular association and who we neither like nor dislike and whom it's so easy to overlook or dismiss. I learned a system of meditation from the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order to gain some emotional equilibrium which involves focusing on all the people in our lives and specifically focusing in turn on one person we really like, one who is neutral and one we dislike or dis-favour. Using certain quiet thought patterns, it has really helped me appreciate others' point of view and appreciate how I fit into other people's scheme of things. I'd encourage anyone who wants to know themselves a little better and feel good about who they are to take a look at the FWBO sites. They don't sell buddhism, they're not pushy about it. You can just see if it's right for you or just take on board those aspects of the practice that suit you. Dog update: Nellie the greyhound has turned into the most loyal and treasured pet. We absolutely adore her and she loves us with a touching affection and poignancy that makes any Disney schmaltz look like Tarantino on speed. Very best wishes, Shelaghxx, SK, Suffolk, UK

. . .

So many smiles, now that it's every day again, now that it's safe again and doesn't hurt too much to stretch. Mark, thank you for your call. The smiles. Whatever, however, often whenever and wherever, you do bring other things to the table. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I responded, with this, sometime in July. Thanks again in September. I love the Don Quixote in you, as your personal windmill creates energy. I find it beautiful that you give people, whom you care about, who are swamped right now, a caring (yet) analytical grounding, in an attempt to define and tilt at pain, however powerful it seems. Always choices, when life and beauty triumph again, as they must for the loving living. Heartrending or life threatening pain causes chaos and temporary helplessness. Often, afterwards, one takes control with a lighter, sweeter and, yet, surer rein, awake and aware. Thank you for your thoughts today, VJP, Dewinton

3C/37F, the rain seems to be taking a break; Gusta leaping after a rabbit prize, kids at the bus stop chasing it too while the rabbit seemed to enjoy what looked like a warm up for a very light work-out; this morning’s chill makes me think about getting a Maui beach screen-saver for my computer!

it was a great day, the fore-runner of may more great days; yesterday as I lunched with BB & KK I felt so good; I’ve had many great days, adventures & successes with these two guys – now we are putting our best ideas & skills together in something that really started to cook yesterday - it was great day

yes, the joy that comes from doing things that need to be done, not because they are easy but because they are hard – that lifts me up

the joy of realizing the value is not in the prize but in the doing; surely profitability will flow too, but the focus is on the merit of the project – something we know how to do better than anyone

sometimes, when I encounter something so ‘worth doing’, so compelling, so interesting, so dynamic, so ‘in tune’ with what I want to do, as happened yesterday, I find it interesting to then view other things on my horizon, other business on my plate & personal connections I have made

these moments, these days – these are the ones that separate the truly interesting from the truly extraordinary

maybe last night’s 2 hour walk in the rain had something to do with it; I am not sure if it was some form of the adrenalin high, but it seems strange after such a really good day to be so drained this morning – the culmination of many things coming together in some unexpected ways; it seems like I could not get enough sleep even though I crashed early & slept late

truly extraordinary days, great days, are really every day but sometimes they are a step up, a cut above, the penultimate of great days

it seems like today will be another great day

but of course

every day is, it just depends on how we choose to see it

Mark
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I just love the quote about the ice cream! And, I'm curious ...does Gusta actually like the rain? Felix hates it ...I think we're going to have to buy him a rain jacket. I also got a kick out of MP's note about catching mistakes. I find myself doing that all the time when I read. They just seem to jump out at me. I was wondering what line of work MP is in that they would find that a "work-related hazard"? , SP, Calgary

. . .

Good morning Mark, You are just an amazing man ! Thank you for remembering my birthday ! I'm trying to forget ...haha a well ripened 54, yikes, where did the time go?, CC, Calgary

. . .

To meet only two Finn's in your lifetime (and they know each other to boot!) is rather sad; now you can add a third Finn to your acquaintances!, AK, Calgary

6C/43F, dark, raining heavily; even the geese are grounded – swimming the lagoon while they wait for suitable flying weather; Gusta is thoroughly soggy so she is likely getting pretty ripe (good thing I cannot smell)

this weather is suitable for Vancouver folks, in fact their norm; my partner BB is flying in from their this morning for meetings that should bring sunshine to us one day soon; an association of long standing has ripened; today we will see how some of those efforts might yield something to harvest from mixing our skills, reputation & hard work to win a great potential
client, a great potential project that makes the world a little better in the process

harvest time, is this time, now; this is the time when we harvest the fruits of our labour; farmers do it too

seeds planted, maturing growth carefully tended, storms withstood; the seasons change bringing new stages in hopes to plow new ground next spring – such an appropriate metaphor for our plans

in the real estate business the phrase ‘location, location, location’ is so over-used, when a far better term is ‘timing, timing, timing’

today I would add ‘ripening’ to the list; location, timing, ripening - that sounds right

my friend, muser, golf buddy & travel agent CC celebrates a birthday today; I scoured the web in search of the perfect metaphorical quote but finding nothing the rhymed with 54, but I found these gems:
‘Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.’ - Jim Fiebig
‘It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.’ - Brigitte Bardot

happy birthday wishes to a well ripened babe, too youthful to be called mature, but very well ripened

Mark

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You had a typo in your musing........ Fish has fins, but then in a way you were correct, I am also pisces....... LOL but Finn (as a nationality has 2 Ns). Sorry I just had to point this out. I am really bad in picking up mistakes like that, kind of a work related hazard..... I do enjoy reading your little musing column, MP, Calgary

It took me a week to get my Mom home from Kelowna but, now that the surgery is done she's on the mend. The healthcare in that city is frightening. One hospital for Kelowna and Westbank, (god forbid if it's life threatening and THEN you have to get across the bridge) Vernon and every other little town in between. Operating rooms (there are only 6) go 24/7. Brutal! We've got it good here, GD, Edmonton

8C/46F, overcast, light rain; we walked the park route – it appears as if someone streaked through with yellow & orange paint, flinging colour indiscriminately about – not so much to create major drama, enough that a little more each day will be undetectable to the eye, but over a short while its impact will be felt; on days like this I wonder, do we recognize these tiny changes?

I have many people like this in my life; thinking about them makes me smile – some make me cringe but they are few – they come, they go – but leave a tiny tiny part of themselves behind, like the amount of space dust that lands on the earth every day; scarcely detectible but it has an impact on me, on my world, however small

every day the world turns, tilts & changes a bit – whether seasons, weather, critter drama; whether the accumulation of minute particles of space debris, eroded earth or the impact of something we humans did, the earth changes minutely on days like this, on every day; do we handle things differently today or next month because of something that happened last night at a meeting, yesterday at lunch or because someone called – or because they didn’t?

on days like this, the rain, slower pace & some mini-drama over this or that – days when I take a few minutes out of this day to re-examine THAT day that was yesterday, it provokes a need/want/desire to understand what happened, appreciate the role I played – as compared to the role I did not play – in the day’s events; are we different today than we were yesterday because of something that happened, some experience we had – or are we different for no reason at all?

on days like this I ponder the people who come into, flow out of & pass-by my life, or I theirs; our employer-employee, parent-child, partner-spouse, neighbour to neighbour relationships & the like, where we spend so much time with someone over time – these relationships have a major impact on us, but what are the impacts of the people who scarcely touch our lives?

you know the people I mean; that consistent familiar face at the dry cleaners, a receptionist on some company’s phone, the person who lets you nudge into their lane as we crawl in traffic, the member of a club who annoys you just a little but always has a warm hello; some days, days like this, these folks who barely graze our lives, the ones who never scratch our surface, they don’t scratch the paint or develop anything deep or lasting while they all subliminally affect us all

HB, you will be missed a little bit & remembered a little bit, on days like this

you had an impact on us all & that makes me smile - you will always be a welcome visitor when the time is right for you

Mark

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Hi Mark, Your comments about the media are so true, have you read Noam Chomsky's "Manufacturing Consent"? The NFB made a documentary of the book if you want the quicky version, EJJ, DeWinton

. . .

I have to agree......Hanna is a hideous town, and probably because of town council sitting on their behinds. I too have to go there a few times a year to visit in-laws, and although I enjoy the company, I can't stand the town. It's shabby and run-down and looks somewhat like a ghost town now that half of the businesses on main street are closed. And no.... it doesn't have Nickleback. The boys from Hanna (not the band.... that was The Village Idiots) were smart enough to head west to a beautiful place, TA, Calgary

11C/52F, sunny, last nice day for a while chilly & rain round out the week's forecast; we walked a little later than usual so Gusta had a chance to wag her tail for kids at the bus stop while I checked out the moms

small world moment yesterday; in my life I've met 2 Fins - 1 yesterday in Calgary, 1 over 35 years ago in Vancouver; it turns out they know each other well; thanks for dinner MP

thoughtful thoughts from thoughtful people tug at us, inspire us to have a deep thought, to feel something, but as I look around my community, my society, my country – it has a short shelf life, most often it is just one day at a time

on Nov. 11 each year we say ‘lest we forget’ one day at a time, but so often I think a better description would be ‘how quick we forget’

we easily remember an issue 1 day a year, substantially forgetting on the other 364 days; yesterday was an unforgettable one day at a time day, in the moment, but who recalls the 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th anniversary of 9/11?

yes we know we were media blitzed with it, but it quickly fades as just another day in September, each passing one day at a time

the words ‘one day at a time’ as seen on bumper stickers, plaques on walls, in printed matter most often relate to the AA world, but they do not own the phrase, the message or the meaning

what did one day at a time mean to me yesterday?

what did it mean to you?

maybe it is my advancing years, but I can think of no better argument for the old CRTC positions on the independence we need in media in this country; now I think it can translate to cultural & political influences; our Prime Minister will today sell out Canadians on the softwood lumber deal with the same ‘single day’ of focus with which he boasted of our need to hunt terrorists in Afghanistan yesterday, spinning media & public opinion to tell us everything is fine the way it is because our government decides it for us one day at a time, one issue at a time, one election cycle at a time

the Bush White House rhetoric yesterday had far more to do with supporting Republican efforts in mid-term elections, in masking outrageous impacts on the US economy (let us not think we Canadians are not inextricably impacted by it all), in appeasing political allies & foes than it did in promoting healing, understanding or making the world a genuinely better place

yesterday began a 2 day media maze of exploitation & manipulation is a horrific display of the horrific display of what happened, of what might have been prevented, of what is likely to be repeated again & again in the history of our future as it was in the history of our past; it will wane as swiftly as the late summer daylight the moment some plane crash or a baby stuck down a well becomes the spin-du-jour, probably in a day or 3

each time a single gunshot in Yugoslavia triggers a world war or each time a butterfly flaps its wings somewhere we should be reminded that everything we all do anywhere affects everything everywhere, albeit in minor ways

one day at a time, every day, we get to influence our planet through our actions; I would like to think we can do far more for the world by spinning a different approach, one day at a time

I find it appalling to watch & read the exploitation of the grief, pain & loss of those who really lost something by those who lost nothing

lest we forget

Mark

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You are so right, five years later and virtually untold dollars spent and little has changed. Certainly the hate is still there, perhaps more rampant than ever. Still today my heart aches for the loss, the loss the families had to sustain, but also the loss of respect and tolerance toward Muslims, now all branded as potential terrorists. To this day, my mind is unable to stop the replay of the planes flying directly into the towers, the fear those people must have felt, when all they were doing was going to work every day in an effort to live their lives. How do we go back? How do we go forward? One important point for the world to remember is that is not hate that rules, it is that love conquers all, SB, Calgary

. . .

Mark, again you articulated a profound topic that often lies beneath the surface. Is hate the motivation of suicide bombers. We disagree with their actions and we feel strongly and negatively about their actions but should we conclude that they hate us based on our feelings about their actions. Lots of very damaging things are done in the name of advancing a cause and lots of emotions predispose to suicide. Do motivations matter since other people must now protect themselves against suicide bombers whatever their motivation? Unrelated to motivations, I note that the media, without comment or notice, has yet again changed the meaning of yet another word when they used the word martyr to describe suicide - until now martyr has described someone who suffers at the hands of others, LHE, Calgary

. . .

Candle ceremony? Sounds like a cult orientation! Mark, I love your musings but am scaling back my work schedule to one office day per week. Could you please change my email address to my home email – Thanks, EJ, Calgary

. . .

RE: " most days, especially this one, it is difficult to view that side with any objectivity, with any compassion for their grievances against the west, against the US, against anyone who does not see things their way " - How true. We (North Americans and Europeans) can be pretty sanctimonious about what "they" have done to us but few would take the time to read a enough history to understand that "they" have some very valid grievances. In saying this I certainly do not in any way condone the choices being made to respond to those grievances. 9/11 and other terrorist actions are not and can not be supportable. The reality, however, is that Europeans (and more recently North Americans) have been meddling inappropriately in the Middle East and South Asia for hundreds of years so the list of wrongs they have accumulated is long. I have a friend who came to Canada from Iraq prior to the "war to free the Iraqi people". Her mother, sister and a brother remained there. Prior to being "freed" by the US and their allies they had dependable food, water and electricity supplies. They could walk in their neighbourhood streets in safety. Basically they enjoyed the same privileges we do with the notable exception of being able to vote in their government. Now that they are free and can vote in their government, food, water and electricity are sporadic at best and often unavailable. Most importantly, safety is a thing of the past. After 5 years of misery and toughing it out hoping for things to get better, they have finally had quite enough of this freedom and have moved to the United Arab Emirates. The family home is theoretically worth a great deal of money, however, not surprisingly there isn't much of a real estate market in Iraq right now so they have had to abandoned it - much to the devastation of my friend's mother who is in her 70s. Those of us who have older parents understand the emotional turmoil of older people having to leave their homes; imagine the impact on an old woman of leaving not only her home but also her country. Naturally, these people are lucky. They have resources enough to be able to leave where many do not have that luxury. I would guess that thousands if not millions of Iraqis are today wondering what the big deal is about freedom and democracy. The extended impact of people who can leave doing so, is that they are also frequently the ones who can contribute the most to rebuilding. My friend's sister is a good example as she is a doctor who will no doubt be much missed by her patients, BB, Calgary

. . .

"go to Hanna"...? Why? I spent the weekend in Hanna, as I do every 4 or 5 weeks because Ken's parents live in Hanna, and it is not what I would consider the ideal place for a weekend getaway. Sure, it has the Kroeger's (the Nickleback boys), flocks of geese, lots of deer and antelope, and some very nice people but its' a pretty dreary and drought-stricken location. The area has great some qualities but the town government has not done the town justice. It's downtown looks unkempt and in disrepair and they have a completely illogical building code process -- industrial mixed with restaurants and homes -- not pretty!! I grew up only a few miles west of Hanna, in Delia. Maybe I'm too close to the place and can't see or appreciate it's hidden qualities... , CC, Calgary

7C/45F, sunny, early morning chill; ducks scattered on the lagoon as Gusta approached – they look far too small to fly very far

today could be a day of reflection, grief & sadness

today could be a day of anger, revenge & poison thoughts

today could be a day of learning, understanding & openness

today could be a day of pain, anguish & never ending sorrow

today could be a day of deep meaning, reverence & tributes to heroes

today could be a day of reconciliation between the world we have & the one we wish we had

some grieve for friends, colleagues & heroes; others grieve for mom & dad, sister & brother, son or daughter

some grieve loss of someone

some grieve loss of an idea, an ideal or a sense of how things were once

some grieve loss of a magnificent symbol, others grieve loss of a magnificent building

some grieve loss of a time of peace & innocence

some grieve the loss of the loss of the loss of the loss . . of something

around the world an uncertain number of people see themselves as some element of the other side of this coin; they celebrate martyrs, they celebrate death & destruction, they celebrate the cost of lives, structures, economies & political systems

most days, especially this one, it is difficult to view that side with any objectivity, with any compassion for their grievances against the west, against the US, against anyone who does not see things their way

if we will have peace – ever – I think we need to understand those who hate on some important level; not the interpretations of the body politic as presented by Fox vis-à-vis CNN; not in pro/anti Muslim thoughts, not in terms of understanding hate, not in term of understanding lunacy, fanaticism or aggression

but in terms of understanding

5 yrs. in & a few trillion dollars lost, a few hundreds of billion dollars spent, many thousands dead, many thousands more spilled their blood there seems to be less understanding than ever

few who were touched by 9/11 will ever forget, few will forgive, few will move beyond the beliefs they held on 9/10; maybe one day it will be time for us to look a little deeper into ourselves if we are going to better understand what happened, ever move toward a safer world

I don’t believe the Bush mantra that this is solely an evil scourge we must rid the world of; I think it is an evil conflict of people & ideas we MUST rid the world of which is not to say we should do that by hunting down the people who hate a particular group & killing them, exterminating them

the risk of our world’s last war was not that long ago; we felt the breaking down of Soviet power & of a wall would make it all better, that we would be collectively safer

not so
it would be convenient to believe the forces for good are American, that the forces for evil are terrorist Muslims

that would be convenient illusion, but would it be real?

not so

today could be a day of the week; just a Monday like any other Monday

not so

today could be a day of the week; just a Monday like any other Monday; not this Monday, not any Monday

for so many, it can never be

Mark

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Hi Mark - I am just back from 2 weeks in Tofino - no water so I switched to wine... Go to Hanna - Home of Nickleback and so much more. Meet Jann Beeston at the Hanna Learning Centre - a marvellous inspiring women of great talent and energy, KC, Edmonton

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Reading your musings siTting on top of the world at the castle mountain lookout near lac louise Strenuous uphill trail 3.4 km although seemed longer Now to get back down. I love the song 'on a clear day you can see forever' it sure is like that here it makes you appreciate, life your luck & health. Blackberry permits you to send these thoughts from the top of the world where you can see forever, GR Calgary

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Had a good laugh over your musings about the conference - especially the candle ceremony. It is an interesting mixture of people and personalities who attend these things. I think that was half the fun in being AG last year - just watching and listening, EP, Calgary

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Ha Mark, I was in Provost on Saturday too. Went to a bike rally in Wainwright and it covered going to different little towns around there, I was in a 1955 Buick, it was fun. Got home last night and was tired right out, it is amazing what one late night and a few beer can do to you. Hugs, MM, Edmonton

15C/59F, sunny with a steady breeze; we are back at home in Calgary after an early start (4:30) a 4 hour drive home under the stars ending with a glorious red sunrise in the rear view mirror; we dodged porcupines both live & dead, 4 times deer played chicken with the headlights but they failed to connect - no venison tonight

my meeting yesterday went well I suppose; 10 minutes inspiration, 8 hours perspiration; some things normal, some weird; some learning, some mind-numbing/struggle to keep eyes open stuff too ending in some weird ceremony with candles involved; I passed . . saving my candle from a certain death

I drove around Provost & its mirror town across the border (Macklin, Saskatchewan) last evening; community pride so evident everywhere in Provost, not so in Macklin which is odd given so many similarities, history & mirror economies of agriculture, oil & gas, regional hub for schools & medical services . . hhmm

nice to get away, nice to be home

coming home to an empty fridge, piles of laundry & piles of files on my desk tell you what kind of day & evening I am going to have . .

laundry underway, work prioritized, time to visit the gym & grocery store

8 hours driving with Gusta as my only companion offered lots of time to listen (I took some tapes along) to things I seem to not set aside enough time for & time to ponder things I don’t think about as often as I might - thoughts of country-life/weekend getaway places (memories of ‘Letters from Wingfield Farm’) continue to inspire; while I loved the country around Consort it is just too far; though somewhere near Drumheller may have potential worthy of further exploration

Mark

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(written & sent from the Super 8 Motel, Provost, Alberta; sent late due to service provider being down for maintenance again)

9C/49F, clear, stiff breeze blew as Gusta romped where stubble field meets industrial subdivision behind the motel; the motel parking lot awash in trucks that appear to spend most of their life off-road

it appears this is not a town, but a Municipal District, where the activities of town & surrounding area are merged – I wonder if that aids or detracts from a sense of community? maybe I’ll meet some locals & find out, though I expect our conference today is 100% out of town folk; it will be interesting to see

according to Statistics Canada: the municipal district has a population of 2,635 in 1,028 dwellings, a 2.6% decrease from 1996. On a surface of 3,622.49 km² it has a density of 0.7 inhabitants/km²

I think that means something more like lack of density

I’ll keep my eye open for those 0.7 persons

as I partook of continental breakfast in the motel lobby, the chatter of the cleaning staff over their cigarettes & coffee seemed focused more or less on the quality of vegetables harvested than anything else – that was a nice touch; part of the ambiance I suppose

my summer of visiting small communities continues; I’ve not been to this area in over 20 yrs.; I’d forgotten how spectacular some of the scenery is up hear where oilfields, mixed farming & geese flight paths converge in a , but coming through some country (Coronation, Veteran, Cosort & Czar) I’ve not seen before has already been more than worth the trip; it is a transition of moonscape-like scrub brush rolling grazing country in scattered pocket of high plateau the ice-age forgot to scrape away; a sparsely populated place where the train’s whistle echoes for many miles

last evening I dined on A&W fare, then began unloading the car in the lot behind the motel; I stood there behind the car as dusk was about to be extinguished; I looked west to see a hot ball burning through the haze on the edge of the horizon – then looked the other way to see a ball, just as red through the haze, rising in the east; it was as if two beacons were shining directly at each other with me in the middle – it was both a phenomenal sight & really weird feeling – I remember the song from Fiddler on the Roof ‘Sunrise, sunset’ …. This one was ‘moonrise, sunset’

why am I in Provost?

aside from the obvious, ‘why not?’, it is to attend a meeting of Area Governors for Toastmasters . . not sure if I will love the conference or not but I’ve loved the trip so far

Mark

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Very inspiring musing today! VBL, Engelwood, Colorado

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Love the Russell quote - of course if one is prone to prejudge (and is prepared to "own" their decisions) that could also mean "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it!", KK, Calgary

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hi mark...been receiving your musings for sometime now, thank u for sharing, makes one realise u are not alone out there with all the stuff that goes on in one's head ....and life! ........will it be different this time?..........the more things change the more they stay the same ......the secret?.........look for the balance in what u can have, rather than what u can't ........the rule i live by ........, C, ?

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Came across this on one of my egghead financial sites: “A man who for an entire week does nothing but hit himself over the head has little reason to be proud.” – Stanislaw Lem Then I read today's Kolke, enjoying the dichotomous serendipity of my reading, appreciating personal impact and interpretation, musing on what makes me proud. A happy and relaxed Friday night, most of the fires damped, enjoying mutual coping skills, the fruits of experience. I like it a lot that everything's well on the homefront and it's easy, in spite of the difficulties. "New Shoes and Chicken Soup" might be the title of your next book. Both work. , VJP, Dewinton

9C/48F, cloudless & hazy again produced a spectacular moonset & sunrise; morning chill tells me I won’t be walking in shorts much longer

my morning will be full of cleaning up 2 weeks worth of loose ends & several MUST things mean I MUST do before I leave for Provost . . . a leisurely 6 hr. drive with the sun at my back

I really like the free-ing feeling that comes with something let go, discarded or cancelled when deep down, that was the choice to make; reasons, circumstances & motivation vary when MY 'right thing to do' emerges; each time that happens I feel an instantaneous zing the moment the decision is made, the message delivered, the conversation over or when I just hit send!

then, ‘why didn’t I do this a long time ago?’, ‘what took me so long?’ or something like that rolls through my brain; the time for me to say no, not, nyet, uh-uh, oh-no, furrrrget-it-mister etc. had come, it was time, the choice was clear

it seems I've been making a lot of these decisions lately; time will tell what percentage are good ones, but I really like the momentum; these moments rarely are as immediate as the were when I was much younger; immediate knee-jerk actions/reactions have morphed into something more mature but I think the more important distinction is that they are real, clear & measured against the issues, values & objectives that rest very comfortably in my belly

sometimes the choice comes late, later or way too late – more often the timing is just right, because the ‘now moment’ of making it was so perfect, correct & unwavering; it seems too, that when those events happen that I get on a roll, I make several somewhat unconnected/unrelated decisions

I don’t think it is adrenalin/momentum or a devil-may-care attitude; I think each time I make a decision that I might have agonized over for some time, two things often follow

the first, perhaps the most obvious, is that one decision often triggers others that are sort of logical progressions from the first decision & so on & so on & so on . .

the second is that making decisions, taking actions to do what I have resolved – usually without discussion with anyone else – feels good, the reluctance overcome (like Newton’s law of inertia I suppose) is that once in motion, it is easy to stay in motion

this quote made me smile: ‘The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.’- David Russell

when we need to punt someone from our life, end a business connection, fire someone or simply vote with our feet to cease doing business with someone – commercial or personal – it is easy with hindsight to agree with Russell; of late, when it has been ‘end something’ time , I’ve probably been thinking more of Gladwell’s Blink view than that of Russell, whether or not there is a bridge involved, the key is to own the choice

my view & recommendation to anyone who will listen is this - don’t wrestle with fear, uncertainty & doubt - be proud of choices you make - just own them

some will be right, many will be wrong - but sitting still in fear of making those decisions, while itself a choice, usually keeps us in a place that is not a healthy one

Newton said something about objects at rest tending to stay that way; now motion is another matter, because things in motion tend to stay in motion

I think making decisions & owning them is a great place to start

Mark

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9C/48F, calm, sun burns through hazy horizon, hot air balloons racing off in the distance

coming back yesterday afternoon/evening from Edmonton was a spectacular sight; grain dust flying everywhere as harvesting is in full tilt & the sky was laden with forest fire smoke make the sun a blazing red ball in a cloudless sky . . incredible sunset

calm today, important meetings, catching up – that is until tomorrow noon when I depart for Provost, a trip to a Toastmasters Area Governors meeting + another opportunity for scoping out some countryside where my perfect weekend getaway might be lurking ..

last evening was spent on two things; preparing for today’s big meeting & spending time helping a friend see themselves by observing what anyone else can see – hard to capture either of these experiences in a handful of words

but these, I’ve read many times, capture it well:

‘Success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.’ – unknown

or this one

‘Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.’ – Roberts Schuller

these are obvious truths we so easily avoid but the easily describe every success, every failure, every one of them, every time

don’t knock opportunity, or you’ll miss it when it knocks

knock knock

Mark

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Hi Mark - Like TL, I would like to thank BB for the Sept 1st comments. Over the past few days I've re-read the comments several times and thought about paths I've taken, and/or didn't take. I also forwarded them to a friend who is at a fork in his relationship. Perhaps it will give him another perspective. - NI, Calgary

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Your subject today rang a bell. I've been assessing my activities of the past year especially in regard to finding someone special and a little piece of advice keeps resonating...perhaps it will make a difference for you, perhaps it will simply annoy. Who knows? So to repeat the words of a friend "What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different resluts." Good luck with that. CH, Chimacum

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Hello Mark, I just got back in town and was checking the mail and noticed that I have not received anything from you since Aug, 30th My e-mail is as before. Could you resend the musings and at the same time add JM to your list. She has been a very important friend to me for more than 40 years. We grew up together as her parents and my parents were best of friends and we have always remained close. Thanks. Her address is XXXX@YYY.com I do not know if you have my home number so here it is: XXXX . I will give you a call next week to make plans for breakfast or coffee. Warm regards, JJ

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First, knock 'em dead with your proposals this week. Your attitude is winning. Currently dancing the hospital cha cha, I just read your last few musings. Your "new shoes" and "different this time" were poignant and inspiring for me. Thank you. Why do you want your lightning bug caught in a jar? Do you know what to feed it? VJP, Dewinton

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Forgot to say that I've bought face atomizer, bodywash, body cream, sinfully expensive shampoo and rinse, peppermint foot cream and decadent hand cream. Tomorrow, I'll arrive at the hospital with new shoes. It's so much the perfect gesture right now. Inspiring with memories of new shoes in September, always. Most inspiring to one daughter-shoe-maven. Though she usually is the one to correct my shoe foibles, there is a full moon and I'm sure I'll know the right and magical pair that she will work to be in. Thanks Mark., VJP

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Hi Mark, Life has been hectic so this is just a quick note to see how the proposal went, I'm assuming it all came together in the end and your hard work paid off. I also think I accidentally took myself off your mailing list for your musing as I didn't receive my fix for today. I un-subscribed to the newsletter you had sent me and my guess is the two were somehow connected. Let me know how I can fix it please. Take Care,
DJ, Calgary

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as trite as it sounds, experience tells me that those things always happen when we are least looking for them. I guess by having little or no expectation, we in fact open ourselves to the abundance of what might be, perhaps more open to new and as of yet un-experienced adventures. Look inward, relax, they say that if you act as if it has already happened, it will happen. Best of luck, SB, Calgary

12C/54F, clear & breezy, sun soon on the rise as early morning twilight relaxes me; Gusta seems to have a need to sniff every familiar spot she visited twice yesterday, visited twice the day before etc. – each time as if she is expecting it to be different this time

a consulting client for whom I’ve done a number of proposals, as he thanked me for letting him know we are embarking on projects potentially as his competitor; GS said it all so well yesterday, ‘better we do these things with our friends because our enemies won’t help us’; then he asked me to explore another project for him

today began like so many that have gone before

the last 5 days, except for those 2 glorious rounds of golf, I’ve been sleeping a little between writing sessions – another project proposal(RFQ stage) of stitching together contributions from great teammates, weaving a message designed to move us closer to the brass ring

not a big one this time, but an important one nonetheless, is completed

special thanks to my daughter Carla – you are a superb proof-reader & editor – maybe one day it will be you having those sleepless nights with me as your editor!

I’ll be on the road soon to Edmonton; I need to pick up the printed product, sign it & deliver it to its destination, say hi to a couple of people, have a quick meeting or two – simply to turn around to drive home again

some of this is so old, so trite

everything up to NOW has just been preparation – now I am ready

everything up to NOW has been gathering experience – now I am ready

everything up to NOW has been playing as opposed to playing for keeps – now I am ready

I woke, slightly dazed, confused, stiff neck, sore lower back

my body crying out for another 24 hrs of sleep

I set aside the ‘tee-time schedule’ for the MLAA tournament I’ll miss today

I stare at the 10 things on my desk that must have attention before I hit the road; is it déjà vu – or will it be different this time?

so many times I recall opting out of a golf tournament (as I am today #&_%#), a conference or an event – often ones I’ve shelled out non-refundable cash to attend – so I can attend a briefing, be interviewed on or to deliver a proposal on some project I’ve pursued only to learn we came 2nd or 3rd or 1 spot out of being short-listed; the pursuit efforts on these things is very draining – but winning is not the only benefit of the pursuit

sometimes we do well – an important meeting Thursday on another one; but win, lose or draw, each time I go through these tree-killing exercises I find the energy of a collective group goes well beyond the collaboration – it genuinely builds relationships with people one would otherwise not know

it will be different this time

there seems to be, for me, an epiphany on these things – not sure I can pin it down in 25 words or less

there is a connect between pursuit of these projects – experience, learning & approach – that influences my behaviour in personal matters, or is it verse-vicea?

I wonder, as I embark on meeting someone new, re-connecting with someone from the past or pursuing a business deal, do I behave like Gusta?

I seem so often to be chasing the déjà vu, chasing the adrenalin rush as I have so many times before always thinking ‘it will be different this time’

arrrgh! - another summer slipped by without catching the lightning bug in the jar, without that someone magical to hang out with, sleep in with & to play with

was it something/someone/some set of issues I was trying to avoid?

or was I just preparing myself, gaining more experiences, sharpening my skills?

I’ve been looking for sparks & smiles & joy & joi de vivre a little more diligently of late trying to sniff out those ah-ha moments; with each new connection, each coffee date, each chat – hoping to find it different this time

will it be different this time?

I am, once again, expecting a different experience - this time

am I crazy to expect, similar ideas/methods & process to familiar situations to produce a different result this time?

that requires change; in my perceptions, in my actions, in my attitudes

this summer has been one of some travel, exposure to a broader range of influences - exploring some old hopes & some new dreams

I am expecting it to be different this time

really, I am

Mark

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I get an urge to buy stationary every September!! At work I suppress the desire to start a new log book or acquire other stuff from the stationary cabinet when I don't really need them. Perhaps it is part of having spent so many years in school and then having a child in school but the sense of renewal or wanting to start fresh is much stronger for me in September then it is at New Years. Kind of a strange dichotomy to feel this way when this is the start of the season for endings; summer to wind down, outdoor plants to start dying, trees to turn colour, birds to prepare to head south and the winter to come to loom larger and larger in our consciousness. BB, Calgary

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Hi – I love the new books. It’s so exciting to get those texts and look through them with all the excitement of what you are going to learn. Unfortunately too many of the teachers, instructors, professors were the wet cold blanket on that excitement. That came crashing back to me today as I was “orientated” to college. It’s already started I walked out on the orientation….. is this a bad start? Reminds of high school, college, university, relationships, marriages etc, I got what I came for …. New books and left. Classes start tomorrow and I am excited. I even found myself checking out the boys…. Some things never change., DB, Red Deer

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Hey Mark....very much liked the comments you included from BB (Sept 1). Thoughtful and profound. Certainly gave me something to think about. With thanks....., TL, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Happy Tuesday! would you please unsubscribe RS until further notice - he's out of the country for several weeks and all his emails are coming to me - which in essence means I get 'double' everything from Mark!!!! Much appreciated - have a great week! regards, JF, Calgary

13C/55F in south Calgary this morning, sunny & light breeze; it was interesting this morning, Gusta scouring the lagoon edge for signs of geese since those honkers were making noise all night; maybe they were having some kind of labour day rally for oppressed geese, but no sign of them this morning

watching high school kids at the bus stop with their back-packs, cell phones, pagers, new sneakers & recently mown hair – some things never change, but I remember talking with people at the bus stop, now it seems the thing to do is to be on the phone talking to someone, I presume, at some other bus stop

bus riding, my recollection of high school days, was the effort always to take a full seat near the front of the bus in hopes that, whether or not the bus was full, some girl I liked might get on and choose to sit next to me; it failed far more often than it worked but it was worth it when some dream chick sat next to me – but then, the tongue-tied teenager I was could barely squeak out a ‘hi’ or respond to something they would say which rarely

back to school days were always ambitious, feeling good, feeling older, feeling smarter days; the euphoria settled quickly but I remember those first days fondly

maybe those of us who long ago left school could use some of that ‘first day of school’ attitude from time to time; like before it alone may not give us a lasting lift, but it is a pretty nice way to start

I believe buying new shoes was always part of the magic

Mark

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