Musing

6C/43F, lagoon bursting on another overcast dull day, green leaves still outnumbering coloured but not for long; very autumnal weather as the equinox approaches in 2 days

thanks to LR for the note & picture & congrats/happy birthday to EK who marks a birthday today by embarking on a new business venture

is it the day’s schedule, is it keeping on top of our ‘things to do’ or doing the things we do to try to please everyone/anyone/someone? what is important?

the old song lyric about ‘you got to please yourself’ or something like that rings true for me this morning; I’ve a table full of work, a list of calls to make & a full agenda – all focused on pleasing others; my day is full, my writing of these musings interrupted by 5 phone calls & 3 urgent emails already, each needed to be dealt with, each needed attention yet not one of them related to my priorities

sometimes I can’t do my best, sometimes I get weary of it all & don’t care to do my best – or so I consciously try to reverse myself – but it doesn’t work; I revert to being driven in the way I was taught at a young age; the blame/credit goes to an early employer, an 8th grade teacher & my dad

since I was 17 I have been in the business of pleasing others, of giving service, of delivering on a standard I was taught, that I had modeled by my father who taught me a work ethic & by those people who encouraged me to deliver my best every time

maybe the arrival of fall has sped up the earth, sped up everyone’s needs, sped up the pace a little more raising everyone’s expectations

I expect, perhaps, more of myself than is reasonable which would suggest I cut back on that which I take on, prioritize what is most important to me 1st, everything else will have to be tied for 2nd

taking any break will have to wait a day or two – until then I’ll take two deep breaths & I’ll plunge in

‘Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.’ - Etty Hillesum

it’s one of THOSE kind of days

or, maybe, it can be explained by being my 2nd day in a row without coffee, without caffeine in any form

two days off coffee

two deep breaths

plunging in now !

Mark

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