Musing

3C/19F, tons of sunshine light up the calm in South Calgary; this is ‘one of those few precious days’ where virtually all the leaves have turned colour, the majority still on the trees; in a few days, with or without wind or rain, that picture will dramatically change – feels like a day for a drive in the country

in NHL hockey we had ‘the original six’; in these musings have ‘the original 8’ who started this daily connection; one of my favorite people, one of we 8, MP, earns another ring-on-the tree of life today, so if you know Marilyn Palmer, say happy b-day to her today

discussion with MW over breakfast yesterday; we talked about how well we listen

I don’t mean ‘missed the sale today because I didn’t listen’ or ‘lost the deal for failure to pay attention to what they were saying’; I mean the REALLY important stuff with people who really matter to us, though the same elements face us every day in work/business

we learn it painfully

we learn it when that person is no longer available & we long for the opportunity to grab back a few minutes of what we missed, we learn it when someone, some opportunity seems to have slipped away, gone onward

they, whoever ‘they’ are, say moments of anguish like that are sent to teach us something

listing to our children, parents, partners when we have them – is too important to miss; we can’t go back to claim the missed opportunities to listen to someone

listening to someone’s sad tale is sometimes boring

listen because you care about the person without concern for whether you care about the story

actually listening with focus, without distraction

those times might be recaptured, but not the mood/moment

those times can be re-created, but not the availability

when do we learn this?

when/how do learn to listen, to hear, to empathize, to understand

we can learn it by thinking about it, practicing, but too often we learn it more painfully when an opportunity is gone, when listening is possible any more because of circumstance

we talked about that a lot, then we ate

over the years I've improved my skills in selling, presenting - in dealing with people in general; one might say I've had some well deserved successes, but the more I look at what works for me I know it is because I've talked less, presented less while learning how to shut up more, to listen more, to realize more than anything the person I am hearing needs/wants me to

what often happens, especially when men listen to women, is that we start of listening but what we have such a strong urge to do is to jump in offering a solution, to help solve something when what was really wanted, really needed was that we listen

stop this morning to listen

if there is someone who needs you to listen, call
them up today & give yourself some time to listen to
them

you probably both that experience

maybe it is someone you’ve looked across the breakfast table at for 25 years, but somewhere along the way you both stopped listening; maybe it is time to try again

maybe it is someone you recently met - someone you want to connect with really well but somehow failed to; maybe it is just a phone call, maybe a meeting - but giving ourselves a chance to try listening again might be the best gift we give someone or give to our selves

give someone a chance to talk, give yourself a chance to listen - you might not get the chance again

Mark

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