Tuesday, January 31, 2006
January 31 Responses
January 31 Responses
I try to remember where the ice was on the path yesterday as EVERYTHING blanketed white overnight & return to normal temperature; rabbit tracks outnumber tire tracks through the neighbourhood, Gusta attracts strong interest from straining poodle; -8C/18F
‘The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.’ – Plutarch
does anyone have a match ?
I have a fire under me but find myself frustrated on days when something I am doing depends on someone whose pilot light has gone out
. . . thoughts of ‘lighting fires’ has me remembering a Jose Feliciano song . . I’ll have that tune rolling in my head all day
have you ever wondered whether you would recognize an old school friend if you met them on the street after 35-40 years ? I was looking in an old high school yearbook - I’d forgotten that late 60’s geek-guy look I was going for; surely no one would recognize me – then or now !
Mark
Monday, January 30, 2006
January 30 Responsees
Monday Jan. 30, 2006 - Year 3, Day 315 - pick a pattern
distilling ?
the science/art of boiling vegetable products to make hootch, is about boiling things down renders them to base ingredients which can be useful producing something
like making fish stock, it is laborious smelly [if that bothers you] work; but what comes out at the end is but an ingredient – not a finished product, but a base
a base of good fish stock makes my bisque unforgettable; my stock is stewing, the result will be unforgettable too [cue Nat King Cole]
or boiling ideas into a harmonious spicy broth ?
many years ago, maybe 20, Gwen Harris did a workshop for a board I was sitting on
she taught the value of writing things down, sticking the minutia on the wall for everyone in the group to see – no matter that some of the ideas were absurd, they were not absurd to everyone or from every angle
then came prioritizing/grouping them as a tool to set priorities; then regrouping then to see the same elements/issues from a different perspective; Gwen, I owe you tons of gratitude for those lessons
what fell out then, as it is now, is the separation of what is real, what is achievable & what is dream-able which is different altogether from a brain candy experience
seeing wishes, hopes, dreams & ideals through a different lens – then another & another
while as many again have already hit the bin, 41 yellow sticky notes remain, papering my wall
a pattern is emerging
Mark
Sunday, January 29, 2006
January 29 Responses
Sunday Jan. 29, 2006 - Year 3, Day 314 - pear & apple
to our Chinese musing friends, Gung Hoy Fat Choy for the year of the dog
where we live, how we live, what we do - 3 simple elements - but how important they are !
after giving some advice yesterday around feeling clear & grounded – feeling clear about these elements got me thinking, asking myself the same questions
if I was a child with my life ahead of me [yes I am & it is], based on the knowledge I have, where would I choose to be ?, what lifestyle would I choose ?, & how would I earn a living ?
I’ve not focused particularly well on those issues myself lately
driven more by fixing personal & business economics the last three years, clearly the time to think & talk about these questions has arrived
I want to spend incrementally more time in a warm place where ocean meets shore [a week or two a year is not enough]; I don’t want to be living ‘alone with dog’ as much as I want to be together with someone; I have work/business venture ambition to explore some twists on what I do now in real estate & writing . . .
I admit to having developed a very selfish & comfortable ‘alone’ lifestyle; is the sharing that is missing from this scenario worth giving up some of the solitude, flexibility & freedom I enjoy ?
good question . . answer undetermined
many things I want to do can be done from anywhere with a good internet connection & a safe welcoming place; how I want to live requires choices . . . made nicer with a partner of course; what I choose limited only by my health
my daily exercise regime of walking is great for my heart & all muscles from the waist down – but musculature from the waist up has fallen into disrepair taking on a pear shape from ‘2 pieces of apple pie when one will do’ habit – time to fix that now
like most men I expect, I put issues of my health on ignore most of the time, somehow deluded that the good health I’ve enjoyed all my life will continue automatically without regard to how I eat or work off my calories
Mark
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Saturday Jan. 28, 2006 - Year 3, Day 313 - post-it note time
taking time once in a while to visualize myself as a little boy – together with 54 yrs. of data in my head – it is interesting to pose some questions of ‘where on the planet would I like to live ?’, ‘what lifestyle would I like to have?’, how would I like to spend my time, earn a living, play at things etc ??
I’ve not done this kind of exercise for a while in a deliberate sense – I wonder what the ‘yellow post-it notes on the wall might say at the end of a week or two . . .
I’ll let you know . . stay tuned
I wrote recently about reading/leafing through Russell & others on philosophy in high school daze & mentioned the comely librarian who inspired me to be there that often . . . as I wrote it I considered the possibility that piece might reach her – it did . . hhmmm
I blew off a few things to spend a slightly more relaxed weekend where I could deal with the ‘left over from the week must-do items’, attack Thursday’s pile-o-work [Friday’s is already diarized for Tuesday!] . . leaving some time to cook & read & nap
time well spent on a great ‘catching up’ call from CB this morning
Mark
Friday, January 27, 2006
January 27 Responses
Friday Jan. 27, 2006 - Year 3, Day 312- composed
January draws to a close, holiday season restfulness morphed into ‘running hard fatigue’ but overall it has been a very good month [fingers & toes crossed on 2 deals that make that a true statement . . or not] - but pushing myself to do all the things I expect of myself has proven futile & threatens my composure
it leaves me exhausted before the week expires with too much yet to be done
too many masters of my fate - corrective action being ‘composed’
I have an early tour with clients so must get going . . have a great weekend
like many a genius he did his best work very young, Mozart lived from 1756-1791 . . makes me wonder what he would have done had he lived longer . . happy birthday to Wolfgang, the world’s best composed guy
Mark
Thursday, January 26, 2006
January 26 Responses
Thursday Jan. 26, 2006 - Year 3, Day 311 - relief
overnight emails & early conference calls have disrupted my picture of today & tomorrow a little - actually ..quite a lot
I’ve had an interested revelation lately about situations where I allow myself to be really stressed – some of it is physically reminiscent of troublesome days in past employment situation or personal relationships . .when that stress is imposed by clients, some imposed by others or, as is most often the case, imposed by me
I am getting better at saying no, better at declining to accept responsibility/ownership of someone else’s issues – which means being clearer on my own issues, my owned responsibility; when I do that the horizon looks clearer
I think most people are inclined to say yes or maybe as much as possible, especially when we are in the business of meeting client needs & when trying to deal with friends/family as well; there is not a package of training I recall that taught me how to tell clearly when to say no
failing to say no when I should have usually show us in my twisting belly within minutes – when it does I have learned that the belly feeling will not go away until I have resolved the issue – which has little to do with whether that was really someone else’s responsibility in the first instance
taking on a responsibility for something/someone which is not ‘my stuff’ is happening less all the time . . but periodically that twisting knot in my belly tells me I have missed one
well I did
I am not having fun with it
it will be over soon
Mark
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
January 25 Responses
Wednesday Jan. 25, 2006 - Year 3, Day 310 - heart attack
I meet lots of people every month, I talk to hundreds . . rarely deliberate in my search, but almost always wary, alert, wanting to add to my collection of intriguing people [especially the female kind] when that person, that personality, that enigma shows up . . eccentricities in tow, baggage no doubt, complicated lives all – but with some magical quality that spills onto me when that happens, I can’t wash it off
not that one knows the outcome of a new connection at the outset . . but I always come away knowing that I’ve been affected, or not
what is it that makes 2 people connect; is it a sprinkling of fairy dust ? or can it be created on purpose the way one might match up a home buyers with sellers, e-bay users with just the right obscure widget or car part someone has been hunting for – find the heart you want, then attack !
have you ever wondered why sometimes we meet a new colleague, a neighbour or a potential romantic conquest . . sparks fly, clouds collide, the world changes a little . . leaving us ‘never quite the same’ ? . . even more exciting when it is two-way magic; can hearts & minds be approached, attacked like an adversary/quest in an advertising campaign or a heated battle ?
concentration will be difficult today this week a frenetic pace & the plate is more than full, it’s spilling over + fine tuning/rehearsing a speech for TM tonight + a half-plateful of tomorrow already building
my dad called mid-morning yesterday, something he rarely does – he’d just learned his last remaining brother died of a heart attack on Monday . . Gordon was 86
. . eccentric farmer & uncle . . my limited memories of Gordon from early childhood
Mark
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
January 24 Responses
Tuesday Jan. 24, 2006 - Year 3, Day 309 - the next day
returning from my walk to write . . . work invaded, now abated
cities like Toronto, Montreal & Vancouver will have no members on the government side of the house & will feel under-represented . . just as the west & Calgary have felt before; this will be a challenging gap to bridge for a new Prime Minister without a majority, akin to a trapeze team working without a net as yesterday’s election produced that wave of change we wanted, but only produced a minority government for Stephen Harper. Our Prime Minister designate gave a strong victory speech; so too, in conceding & announcing he would step down as Liberal leader, Paul Martin showed class, respect & dignity
when things go badly, we are never as dismal as we think in the moment; when things go really well, we are rarely as good as we think we are - that’s true in many areas I suppose, but none more graphic than the win/lose equation in politics; to thousands of workers & candidates; with 3-5 candidates in most constituencies, most of you lost yesterday, but you lost in a worthy cause making democracy work
‘Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.’ – Theodore Roosevelt
today is the next day & will be followed by the next day, the next day . . Oh, Canada . . what a great country
today is off to a wonderful start . . all good calls so far . . I’m good !
Mark
Monday, January 23, 2006
January 23 Responses
Monday Jan. 23, 2006 - Year 3, Day 308 - let the wind blow
to silently watch & listen to nature is one of my great pleasures – whether on a beach somewhere or sitting alone as witness to howling wind this morning or blowing snow another; nature is oblivious to my very existence, unaware of my presence & unmoved by my opinion
the struggle we can make, the only one in fact that we can, is to choose how we react to the actions of nature or of others
yet every voice matters, every opinion deserves its moment, every vote counts for something
‘Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.’ – H. L. Mencken
‘All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field. ‘ - Albert Einstein
‘The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. ’ - Adlai Stevenson
Stevenson, Mencken & Einstein were right for their time as they would be right today – but what better cause of freedom, democracy & exercising rights could there be than to cast a ballot that proves their cynicism wrong once in a while ?
a breath of fresh warm air, a breeze sweeping through, out with the old & in with the new; while I am disturbed with cancellation of The West Wing I am far more interested in changes in the east block, the west block & airing out the commons to free it of foul orders
Krista called last night, she’s voting; I had lunch with my dad yesterday, he’s voting
are you voting ? I’m voting
let the wind blow
Mark
Monday Jan. 23, 2006 - Year 3, Day 308 - let the wind blow
to silently watch & listen to nature is one of my great pleasures – whether on a beach somewhere or sitting alone as witness to howling wind this morning or blowing snow another; nature is oblivious to my very existence, unaware of my presence & unmoved by my opinion
the struggle we can make, the only one in fact that we can, is to choose how we react to the actions of nature or of others
yet every voice matters, every opinion deserves its moment, every vote counts for something
‘Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.’ – H. L. Mencken
‘All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field. ‘ - Albert Einstein
‘The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. ’ - Adlai Stevenson
Stevenson, Mencken & Einstein were right for their time as they would be right today – but what better cause of freedom, democracy & exercising rights could there be than to cast a ballot that proves their cynicism wrong once in a while ?
a breath of fresh warm air, a breeze sweeping through, out with the old & in with the new; while I am disturbed with cancellation of The West Wing I am far more interested in changes in the east block, the west block & airing out the commons to free it of foul orders
Krista called last night, she’s voting; I had lunch with my dad yesterday, he’s voting
are you voting ? I’m voting
let the wind blow
Mark
Monday Jan. 23, 2006 - Year 3, Day 308 - let the wind blow
to silently watch & listen to nature is one of my great pleasures – whether on a beach somewhere or sitting alone as witness to howling wind this morning or blowing snow another; nature is oblivious to my very existence, unaware of my presence & unmoved by my opinion
the struggle we can make, the only one in fact that we can, is to choose how we react to the actions of nature or of others
yet every voice matters, every opinion deserves its moment, every vote counts for something
‘Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.’ – H. L. Mencken
‘All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field. ‘ - Albert Einstein
‘The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. ’ - Adlai Stevenson
Stevenson, Mencken & Einstein were right for their time as they would be right today – but what better cause of freedom, democracy & exercising rights could there be than to cast a ballot that proves their cynicism wrong once in a while ?
a breath of fresh warm air, a breeze sweeping through, out with the old & in with the new; while I am disturbed with cancellation of The West Wing I am far more interested in changes in the east block, the west block & airing out the commons to free it of foul orders
Krista called last night, she’s voting; I had lunch with my dad yesterday, he’s voting
are you voting ? I’m voting
let the wind blow
Mark
Sunday, January 22, 2006
January 22 Responses
Sunday Jan. 22, 2006 - Year 3, Day 307 – good grand new idea
AW & I saw ‘The Matador’ last night – not award material, but good yucks
Conservatives, the BIG-c conservative party in Canada [not to be confused with 3 other middle of the road parties each more middle than they are truly left or right], are a party in which I feel at home
I was never fond of the Reform party, really luke warm to the Canadian Alliance – initially very apprehensive about the merger of the Canadian Alliance & Progressive Conservative parties . .
yes, this small-L conservative feels very comfortable
I really do
local & provincial governments give passionate committed elected officials a chance to advocate for ideas, policies & initiatives with some tangible chance of actually changing things - while on the federal stage it is virtually impossible for an elected individual, however right they might be, to on their own bring a good grand new idea/initiative to fruition
it takes a collective policy driven party approach
I praise gutsy candidates to be our Members of Parliament for running & working hard; those who win go to Ottawa not with a mandate to advocate for pet projects or personal agenda, but as a collective momentum endorsed by voters – the system of our representation & parliamentary structure is old, messy, outdated in many ways & cumbersome, but still the envy of much of the world
whether our country stays together or breaks apart at some point, most of what determines that future being inevitable influences of self determination & economics which can be influenced precious little by even the most inspiring leaders
let it not be forgotten we DO elect governments to change the philosophical direction of the country, not just the marching orders du jour for the civil service
policy drives everything that is good in the world
policy or, in some cases the absence of policy, enables everything that is bad in the world
it is ALL about policy
policy requires policy makers
let them be inspired to reach for the good grand new idea
it is time for change, not radical change, but change for change sake as much as any other reason, yet this feels more like generational change in which the course of our federal government will be better on the world stage, better at home & better in its role in confederation, better for a long time; a change involving far less influence by the ‘blue-rinse set’ generation of conservatives whose days are done [DA, you should love that trend] but fueled by a younger smarter involved crowd putting their votes & mouths forward to speak up for that change
my country WILL change tomorrow
we will see an election result that will make most Canadians happy, just as it will make many uneasy, but which should make every one of us proud of our messy democratic process of choosing how we wish to be governed
my angst is reserved for those who don’t vote, don’t care or don’t think the process worthy; I like the notion of citizens being required to vote . . . hmm . . . maybe that’s too harsh, but no one should have a right to complain if they don’t cast a ballot
who cares ?
I care
‘not voting’ is an insult to everyone who struggled to leave oppression, struggled to fight a war or who worked hard to come here for opportunity – if you don’t have a reason of your own to vote, at least vote to show respect to those who’ve made it all possible, vote to honour those who fought battles in Parliament or on battlefields so we might enjoy our great freedom
it’s election day tomorrow
vote
let me say that a little louder
VOTE
Mark
Saturday, January 21, 2006
January 21 Responses
Saturday Jan. 21, 2006 - Year 3, Day 306 – heat
note to self: move to a place with dark carpet
what is bigger than a breadbox & smaller than a 2 car garage ? . . answer, pregnant LR who sent a picture together with commentary on the pending [she hopes] early arrival of a fair maiden – Lauren, are you sure there is only 1 ?
I was as a party/fundraiser for Lee Richardson’s campaign last night; great to chat with a number of people I know & meet some new ones – a good number of musers among them – nice to see you all
he offered praise for my writing & courage to be open about feelings – thanks for that & nice to meetcha MT – got me wondering, since we live in a world of perceptions, often repeated, that women talk openly about their feelings while men do not
my thinking is not so much ‘why is that true?’ but more of ‘is that true?’
when prompted, men I know talk openly about their feelings about as much as women; those I know well are quite open, those I scarcely know less so
as a generation of men perhaps we have less practice at it than our softer counterparts, but I think we can do it just fine when called upon to express ourselves
women, I think, are the same – most will talk about feelings if prompted but don’t go out of their way to share, but they sell it better or maybe it just makes for better articles in Cosmo ?
men of my generation were socialized to not talk about feelings because that was the model we saw in our fathers; fathers [mine anyway] who freely talk about their feelings now
it makes me wonder if women were always ‘talking freely’ about their feelings; I suspect not
an 'OUR GENERATION' thing we can change, don’t you think MT ?
I think we learn more, achieve more, collaborate better & forge better relationships in personal, family & business relationships when we open the clam shell . . . baby steps to start, but we can
whether you are trying to make progress of some kind with someone or make progress with that person you face in the mirror, why not express those thoughts & feelings today ?
life’s short; imagine what you might be missing
no need to jump into the deep end of the pool with both feet, but how about dipping a toe ?
when is the last time you reached out, unsolicited, to tell someone your feelings ?
yesterday ? today ? tonight ? tomorrow morning ?
start with someone you know, trust & care about . . . start talking . .
turn up the heat a little, risk a little, dare to see the response you get
more than someone else learning about me, when I talk about/write about my feelings, I get more out of it than anyone else ever could
you can do it . . . yes you can
Mark
Friday, January 20, 2006
January 20 Responses
Friday Jan. 20, 2006 - Year 3, Day 305 – deep hurt
yesterday afternoon while I was on the phone my right hand petting Gusta, she was licking fingers . . she sneezed . . startling us both including the caller under the other end hearing my yelp ‘my dog bit me!’; involuntary sneeze + surgical precision = large tooth pierces finger; albeit a second that deep plunge produced a gusher – she more shocked & affected than me
in discussion yesterday about honesty or, rather, lack of it in relationships of all kinds but most particularly about it regarding dating relationships; my point being that most of my experience & experiences of my friends has been that many people are dishonest – not so much in terms of what is said, but in terms of what is not said . . sins of omission if you will disguising truth or misdirecting the inquirer
I found it interesting - this person a professional matchmaker – observed something that surprised me & got me thinking; she said what is described as dishonesty is not necessarily so but rather it is ‘perception of dishonesty’, that it is incumbent on the person encountering this appearance of dishonesty to probe, question & discuss issues to determine what the issue is all about etc.
while I think that is ‘good coaching’ I hold to my view that dishonesty, wearing disguise du jour, is a LARGE warning flag worth heeding, but then again I am not selling a service predicated on long drawn out process . .
moral of today’s tale: to avoid deep hurt, err on the side of full, true & complete disclosure . . . & don’t put your hand in an animal’s mouth when it is about to sneeze
Mark
Thursday, January 19, 2006
January 19 Responses
Thursday Jan. 19, 2006 - Year 3, Day 304 – paradise found
several people mentioned ‘Blink’ in response to my comments yesterday; I have the book on ‘audio book’ sitting right here atop my ‘to read’ pile – one of the ones I bought recently - it’s next on my agenda
returning to smoked salmon cream cheese, bagel & coffee . . seems like just another day in paradise
is the treadmill an exercise tool or metaphor for endless work toward a goal we seem to never quite reach ? . . or does it matter
like the treadmill, sometimes we go many miles but seem to not get very far; yesterday felt like one of those %(&!@#*# days as I overcame [at least I think I did!] a roadblock with a cranky client, complaint du jour diffused by recognizing he is tired, cranky & anxious to get home to his family after a long road trip . . . that helped
accepting things & people ‘the way they are’ is something I struggle with, trying to impact & influence – sometimes I just need to shut up & stop selling – I need to ask more ‘what do you think’ of others, stop, listen & let it settle . . things are so much better when I do
I did that yesterday; thanks SM for your wise counsel
KT called from PV; life & writing & the ‘ocean cures all things’ mantra . . it seems like just another day in paradise
‘Paradise can be found on the back of horses, in books and between the breast of a woman.’
– Arab Proverb
Mark
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
January 18 Responses
Wednesday Jan. 18, 2006 - Year 3, Day 303 – a new friend
more & more I find spontaneous actions, comments & steps I take are best when I don’t take a long time second guessing an instinctive decision
if people are good, I have a sense of that quickly
if ideas make sense, they rarely come disguised
when I took more time, vacillated, debated & wondered ‘why am I doing this?’ more, did I make better choices ? . . or did I rationalize my choices
did I check them against my gut-meter ?
these choices are everywhere
who to meet, who to call, when & where to pitch an idea; which call to return first, which news item to read vs. which one to ignore, which idea to debate, which comment requires ‘explain that to me more deeply please?’, which elements of the daily noise to tune out, which to focus upon
I used to think that I reacted & acted without sufficient deliberation
when just a few seconds of deliberation would help; sometimes I fail to take the time to recognize the potential consequences of my actions
I used to think that was a shortcoming I needed to correct
while I still make mistakes in priority setting & errors in judgment about things that don’t matter much – I think the volume of choices is just as important as my percentage of success
what I am getting far better at is a new chapter in choice making
seeing long term strategy more clearly; not to suggest I am clairvoyant or wise, but having both the short term immediate issues in clear focus while at the same time seeing where today’s choices might take me; when it is my vision I measure it against my gut
the choice that seem to be mattering more & more are less about initiatives, transactions & this month’s results . . . more about the people I choose as friends, choose as clients, choose as collaborators . . . those are getting better
I met MW yesterday; lunch & conversation
I made a new friend
as Bogie said, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
a new friend might be just around your corner, are you watching ? will you notice the opportunity or let it get away ?
gotta run . . .
Mark
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
January 17 Responses
Tuesday Jan. 17, 2006 - Year 3, Day 302 – 30 seconds
we recently went through the gifting season; that time when well [or sometimes not so well] chosen gifts are wrapped, unwrapped & soon forgotten until next Dec. when we go at it again – not so much a retail treadmill as an 11 month lapse of gifting
what did you give away yesterday ? what will you give away today ? how many smiles, thoughts, words & orders from the florist marked your day yesterday ? how many are planned for today ? how many will happen spontaneously ?
I get wrapped up in the ‘file-du-jour’ with great zeal, rush through a day of emails, calls & quick hellos as I rush to & fro, but when I take a minute, or more likely ½ a minute to give away a warm thought, a positive idea, a complement the value of that time spent is incalculable
sometimes these gestures provide a return on investment – you know, the old cliché about what goes around comes around – more than that, what about the ‘I feel good when I do that factor?’ . . or maybe it just makes me a better person
I don’t cares about the pathology of this - it works; not so much on anyone else [maybe that too] but it works on me
take 30 seconds 4-5 times today to make a difference in someone’s day by what you say or do – give them a little gift of your thoughts, words, smile . . . or maybe even call your favorite florist
I feel better already
Mark
Monday, January 16, 2006
January 16 Responses
Monday Jan. 16, 2006 - Year 3, Day 301 – a dream
his ‘I have a dream’ speech - words that cannot be recalled without hearing Martin Luther King Jr.’s words playing in my brain
that IS immortality
he would by 77 tomorrow & I wonder if he would feel his dream has been realized ?
this morning I was reading BU’s comments in the paper about a government settlement of a class action lawsuit over discrimination against people with developmental disabilities; Bruce, you say such politically correct words now compared to your ‘fire-in-the-belly’ rhetoric you used to be known for as if you feel we’ve come far enough in righting wrongs & making the playing field level – it makes me wonder if you are just embarrassed you were not out in front of that issue calling government to task . . . but it is not your fault alone
we are all complacent
our generation need not wait till it is our turn to run the world; it is our turn & for the most part we sit on our hands
my generation takes comfort in ‘how far we’ve come’, but so much momentum has been lost that it is hard to see that need as profoundly now though inequities & poverty exist outside everyone’s back door; not so graphically today for black people & women though we have far to go; more dramatically for all people who are marginalized – those with disabilities, First Nations Canadians & frail elderly
discrimination in so many forms is minimized by gestures & money & tokenism; in time we get to thinking things are OK, remarking ‘how far we have come’ which makes it easy for most to feel good that progress is being made toward equity
toward equity is a great concept but it is tempered by the speed at which we are traveling
Dr. King & so many others have inspired us to move far & to move fast
we need more dreams, we need more dreamers
Mark
Sunday, January 15, 2006
January 15 Responses
Sunday Jan. 15, 2006 - Year 3, Day 300 - focused now
it would have been better if I was more focused earlier, but I wasn’t & that’s that
recalling my first readings of philosophy; I was in high school, the writer was Bertrand Russell . . . no matter . . . my reason for going to the library was to chat up a very attractive classmate Dixie Bowerman who I thought would be interested in me if she thought I was really smart & interested in philosophy
her lack of interest was disappointing
however, I was spending time in a library
ill-equipped to understand most of what I was reading, complex text & lack of understanding/perspective of a 16 yr. old the cause, I remember trying so hard to glean meaning - not just from Russell, but from Nietzsche & Goethe & Huxley & others too
lack of experience & a childhood that did not expose me to critical thinking were perhaps the cause of my failure to grasp important concepts
it caused me to doubt my intelligence, thinking ‘how can I achieve anything great in life, in career, in school if I cannot understand this stuff?’
or maybe I just wanted to get the girl ?
looking back I am not so sure it was a need to feel smarter or a need to be recognized, but the lack of smarts I felt at that point held me back . . I know it did
‘The main things which seem to be important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection.’ – Bertrand Russell
I am focused now, I understand what is important . . . Dixie, where are you ?
work waits but it won’t wait long
Mark
Saturday, January 14, 2006
January 14 Responses
Saturday Jan. 14, 2006 - Year 3, Day 299 - 6½ days
great exhaustion thisweekwhatwas left me horizontal most of the evening & late sleeping this morning; rest rest rest first on the weekend agenda followed by much catch up & prep for next week
some clients from across the world, some around the corner & some in rural Alberta, I witnessed a new collection of people, businesses & ways of life this week
I had the best homemade butterscotch pudding ever . . an alternative to jello; a two dessert restaurant in a one restaurant town
humbling, decent, noble – my point about this particular ‘small town’ – it could be any town where life is slow in a racing world, where growth is absent, where prosperity is neither reality or delusion but something to pursue - no matter chance of success is slim, smiles prevail & no one is late for curling
I am doing something to make a difference there, a place where I can teach a lot – but I learn so much more; I am rarely able to see someone else’s viewpoint other than filtered through my own, I need to spend more time away, more time talking to people on a street in a small town or wanderers on a beach . . . they have so much to teach
to walk in another’s shoes for a minute or for a day – not to imagine ‘how they see things’ but to operate from that other perspective, to work toward a different goal for a different reason starting from a very different place
body weary, brain busy; too many ideas ready for action, too many must do’s compete for attention
my new year ‘new ways’ scarcely make a difference; thus far the 6½ day work week is my crowning achievement
my challenge to fit all interesting new pursuits into the 6½ so my other ½ can be spent exploring for new ones
Mark
Friday, January 13, 2006
January 13 Responses
Friday Jan. 13, 2006 - Year 3, Day 298 - eclipsed
‘Fatigue is the best pillow.’ – Benjamin Franklin
a very full day yesterday; good meeting with DH, great luncheon/reunion with my barrier-free colleagues, quick trip to Mayerthorpe [hey NL, I had no idea you were an election candidate!], back to Edmonton, coffee with Krista . . she’s doing great . . the back . . all in just under 20 hours; exhausting but not with usual frenetic pace, but with connecting with old friends & new ones & old turf & new adventures; exhausted last night I fell into bed after 22 hours awake, 1000 km of driving & way too much coffee for 1 day . . so I slept long & well
yesterday’s high point was not the luncheon, the benevolent words, the ‘thank you’ plaque or the tasty lunch – it was reunion with colleagues who passionately served a common purpose, who debated minutia, solved problems together over many years – we are all at one table, like the kids table at a family dinner, it was so much fun
we have a special connection . . . a precious by-product of all those years that eclipses the great work we did together
I slept late, walked late, started late & the phone has been going crazy already & a ton of work on my desk for tomorrow . . .
I’ll rest on the 7th day
Mark
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Jan. 12 Responses
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Well Mark, maybe there was no $50,000 cheque for each of us for our many years of "public service," but it was great to be appreciated today - and great to see all of our "comrades in arms" again!, MI, Calgary
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Thanks for including me in your musing list. Could you please take me offthe distribution list? I am trying to manage my email volume and wouldprefer to follow your musings via the website. Thank you!, MD, Vancouver
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Happy New Year Mark and All. The early part of Dec. '05 we were without internet in between servers, and then when we finally got it, I was off to Arizona for Christmas. Today I was able to sit down and read your musings. Wow, a month's worth. A muser, the one that called her Grandmother like a cockroach reminds me of a conversation I had with an Aunt who asked about someone in my family. Before I was done, she said, "Remember, when you point one finger at someone, you have 3 more pointed at yourself." I guess she took my update as complaining. I love the person I was talking about and wasn't meaning it to sound bad. There was also a relative (a couple of years ago) in my family that I hadn't seen since I was around 10 years of age at most, and when I was leaving to go back to California I said to him, "until we meet again." He said, "Well, I have brain condition, I don't have long to live." I rolled down my window and poked my head out in the cold night and said, "Is that right?! What is it? You can't leave yet, I just met you." A bubble in a vein, started with an "A". Aneurysm? Can't remember how to spell it. I looked at my youngest sister in the driver seat, knowing she was late for something and gave her a little frown. I whispered to her that nobody told me this. She gave a sigh when I unbuckled my seat belt and exited the car. He was taken aback when I walked up to him, gave him a hug and a kiss on his (facial) cheek. Gave him another hug and told him I remember the last time I saw him. He lifted me onto a horse, also gave my brother and I a boat ride on the lake. When I pulled back, his mind was searching the memory, and when he found it, he asked me what I thought of that. I said, "Happy thoughts. Good childhood memories." He hadn't realized it wasn't just another babysitting job, he had made an impression on a step-niece. He actually had tears in his eyes for that validation. I said I love you and that my only regret is that I had forgotten you in that time since and I wished I had gotten to know you better. He said it wasn't my fault: he chose to stay away from the family for reasons of his own. Later I found out the family thought that he was a nuisance and weren't very nice to him. Last December when in Arizona I was driving my mother home from shopping in Tucson, the subject of Mike came up. We spoke nothing but good about him. She told me of what he was going through with the family and the events leading up to his last days. She had a message from him a short time before his death. He said that she, my brother and I were the only ones that he felt really cared about him. I cried. The next morning, I heard on the travel trailer door a scratching sound. I put on my coat and carefully opened the door and there stood Tracer, Mike's bloodhound mix. Those eyes and the wrinkles above them, the wagging tail, the smile. I knew he was telling me "Thank you" from Mike. I put my shoes on and sat on the step and hugged and pet Tracer (Short for Tres Arroyos) I told Tracer to tell Uncle Michael Merry Christmas and that I miss him. I received a wet, sloppy kiss. Oh yuck! *LOL* I then went to the main house and wished my Mom and Dad a Merry Christmas. My only surviving (on my side of the family) Grandmother and only Godmother will be 89 next month. I know broken Spanish and she knows broken English. Every year I wonder if this is her last year so I go visit at those two main Holidays, TG and Xmas. Many times it's been touch and go because of her ails. This year I'm adding Spring on the agenda. She is blind for many years now but still mentally and verbally feisty. She doesn't let people forget she's still here. I love that about her. I give her massages, and shaking the bed real hard making her bounce, I yell 9.5 earthquake, Mamanina! Do you remember California earthquakes? I love to hear her laugh. Sometimes I'll play guitar for her. She'll sing a song in Spanish and I'll howl like a coyote and that makes her laugh. I mean really laugh. She forgets things from one minute to the next and has to be reminded. It can be painful if I let it, but no, I must be strong and loving. My other cousins come to visit from California and some of them eye her possessions, and some of the "stuff" have turned up missing. I walk past what's left and go straight to her with hugs and kisses and give her updates on my family. I love you, Mamanina.My brother suffers from schizophrenia and it has put a strain on my family. I'm the only one that goes out of my way to visit him and listen to his outrageous stories. Sure, it tries my patience and I get short with him sometimes, but in a way it helps him to focus on what's really real. It makes me smile when he apologizes for his behaviour the next day and I say, "There's nothing to forgive, Xavier. I love you." Everything's cool. So, everybody out there, I know we live in very trying times and it's hard to trust strangers, be kind. A warm smile, a "hello" in passing, a handshake during an introduction, a hug and or a kiss in farewell can make a world of difference in someone's life. Especially the elderly. If your heart is good, it will show. Set an example for kids, too. Invest some time in them for if they live long enough, they may become our leaders, ALP in the high desert.
Thursday Jan. 12, 2006 - Year 3, Day 297 - barrier free by design
by the time I finished my ‘must do on Wednesday’ work last night it was too late to be driving so ‘early rising’ after few hours sleep became the safer alternative . . caffeine & light traffic are my friends . . I am off to Edmonton
my 2:30 meeting this afternoon with DH in Edmonton was re-scheduled to 8:30 AM . . thanks DH, you better be really nice to me!!
about 25 years ago, when provincial legislation governing building & other codes was being revamped the very valuable ‘Barrier Free Design’ functions via a review committee slipped through cracks & disappeared; together with Eric Boyd & Dave Pinney & quiet voices of many behind the scenes including Paul Mousseau we lobbied for its ‘re-instatement’
it sometimes seemed the barriers were everywhere, they were free, as if by design
we succeeded, though that was the first of what seemed like an endless series of battles
the Barrier Free Design Advisory Committee was supported on a budget that did not even resemble a shoe-string; for nearly 20 years that followed a great group of wonderful people with cleverness & understanding, with skill & passion ensured that code re-writing could genuinely make a difference in the lives of people with disabilities, frail elderly folks & children could achieve useful function in buildings without putting developers in the poor house; a group of colleagues & friends bantered & debated how best to ensure fairness as well as form followed function – a genuinely thankless job spent nit-picking with engineers & officials of many stripes – as a product of this work the Alberta Building Code & National Building codes have few sections that have not been impacted
today at a luncheon in Edmonton my colleagues & I are finally being thanked for that thankless job; it is bittersweet as a Barrier Free Council, entrenched in new legislation – finally exists – now new appointees with a mandate they have yet to fully appreciate begin a new generation of code-evolution . . . oh yummy thoughts of debating millimeters, newtons & nuances, of visual impairments & things that drive you crazy; we all had fire in our bellies when we started, some burned bright, some burned out, some did a slow burn . . . but we burned in a way that would have made Kerouac proud
things got tougher, then easier . . worthy skills equal to a worthy struggle
each time you see a Braille appliqué in an elevator, use a barrier free washroom, find ramps actually in the vicinity of the wide parking stalls & building access that is genuine & functional there are a handful of people responsible for that
they are my friends I admire profoundly – your thank-you luncheon is long overdue, I’ll be seeing you soon
Mark
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
January 11 Responses
Wednesday Jan. 11, 2006 - Year 3, Day 296 - key issues
amazing how much we depend on little things/systems in our day to day life ‘not to fail’, amazing a day [or more] could be altered by a little event . . losing keys, locked out, no access to anything
‘life’ or at least ‘potential chaos of the day’ flashed through my mind; not when I fell on the ice, let loose of the leash or hollered for runaway Gusta to STOP – but when I got back to my building, reached into my pocket to find my keys missing . . . the sprint back to the ‘fall location’ & fumbling about in the snow were not all that comforting while ‘how will I manage to get through the day without my keys’ thoughts raced
a good idea putting keys in a zippered pocket, even better when the zipper is closed
having a spare set of keys made is no on my to-do list
Mark
342,588
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
January 10 Responses
Mark, I am heading off for holidays. Please remove me from your mailing list until Feb. 15. Thanks., BB, Edmonton
In grade 10, a frustrated teacher asked our English class, "What's really important to know? I don't remember how we answered. I only remember his tired response: "Everything," he said. "Life's tragedy is that there simply isn't time, but spending the rest of your lives trying is all there is!" Your Kerouac card brought that to mind. Thank you. , MW, ?
Mark, Great quote from Kerouac, my favorite writer. When I first read him, I was a kid in Grade 8 in Winnipeg. It was like fireworks going off and I wanted to put on my backpack and hit the road., Keep musing and amusing, JD
Good ~ when you plan your trip ~ I know a lot of nice ladies of your vintage ~, KL, Marriott
Dear Mark, I am not sure how my work email ended up on your mailing list - it hasbeen some time now - perhaps forwarded by my realtor. Anyway, I liked the idea of being able to look at your musings on your blog from time to time rather than have them come into my work email. Could you remove my name from your mailing list? Regards, HD, Edmonton
I've been reminiscing about what it is I'm yearning for in a relationship with a man at this stage of my life, and came across an article yesterday introducing Gail Sheehy's new book, Sex and the Seasoned woman... which hits bookstores today. Her research reports a new phenomenon in Boomer-generation female attitudes. You men who are already yawning, better pay attention; these are the women you may date/love/have in your life!! I love this stuff, and am finally admitting that this is the new me, without shame and guilt. Like the Kerouac quote about fabulous yellow roman candles....I want passion, not just sexually but in every way. No settling, no compromise, with friends, lovers, new adventures. Sexual revitalization, A new dream, and spiritual exploration, are top desires!
So, here's the scoop.....
WHAT A SEASONED WOMAN OFFERS:
*A 'what the hell, life-is-short" joie de vivre.
*Emotional stability.
*Financial independence.
*The ability to talk about anything.
*No ticking biological clock.
*A knowledge of what she wants sexually/appreciation of a good lover.
WHAT A SEASONED WOMAN WANTS:
*Romance, fun, flirting, finesse.
*Good conversation.
*Mutual sexual pleasure with emotional connection.
*Not to be tied down.
*Men who are not threatened by her accomplishments
*She wants to go dancing!
Comments welcome Mark!, SW, Coeur d'Alene Idaho
Hi Mark, This is not "musings" related but I was wondering because you know so many people ...are you aware of anyone who is looking for a job as a Salesperson. Thanks ...have a great afternoon!, SP, Calgary
January 10 Responses
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Mark, I am heading off for holidays. Please remove me from your mailing list until Feb. 15. Thanks., BB, Edmonton
Tuesday Jan. 10, 2006 - Year 3, Day 295 - fabulous yellow roman candles
I’ve been reminiscing recently prompted by more than just a few déjà vu moments . . reflecting on early days in my relationship with SC
it was a couple of years so many years ago . . we moved on
we’ve been close, we’ve been estranged & a-stranged on many occasions, we’ve never been out of love, we’ve never run out of love – great lovers, great friends always . . we moved on
reconnecting . . revisiting . . remembering . . we moved on
memories to be treasured & remembering that loving someone that deeply lasts a lifetime no matter what directions & paths we each take; we have, we do, we will . . . we moved on
about a dozen years ago I sent a card with the Twain quote to SC . . she keeps it in a frame on her desk; well, she bested that with a card that arrived yesterday – destined to be framed & sit on my desk
the precious words inside the card suggesting this quote references me are private, humbling & will be treasured FAA; the card cover is this quote from Jack Kerouac:
‘The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars . . . ’
some people I’ve met over the last while have challenged me on how easily I say ‘NEXT’, but then they’ve not experienced the imagination of Twain & the passion of Kerouac rolled together during a precious place in time
when the bar is NOT set that high, it is better if . . . we moved on
I thought, in a 2nd marriage to ‘whatzername’, that I had found it again; I misjudged that by more than a country mile . . . we moved on . .
may life bring me more high bars & magic & fire . . . let it burn, let it be fireworks
Mark
January 9 Response
Monday, January 09, 2006
Monday Jan. 9, 2006 - Year 3, Day 294- pulling hard
thanks to those who wrote yesterday
you have me musing to myself, playing with some BHAG’s [big hairy audacious goals]. . a pregnant idea is gestating, a seed germinates, it grows . . straining . . anxious to bust loose
a jumble of ideas, thoughts & material floating in your head . . . no order, no sense of how it all relates yet . . . the chaos invigorating, the direction unclear – what a buzz !
do you ever have that ?
today is a busy day . . school & university classes are all back in, hot-spot vacationers have returned & 2006 is finally fully underway in the business world . . . traffic too, sadly, is back to gridlock levels
gotta buzzt loose
Mark
Sunday, January 08, 2006
January 8 Responses
Sunday Jan. 8, 2006 - Year 3, Day 293 - a bigger picture
a lazy hang out at home ‘making turkey soup day’ yesterday; hhmmm it was really good . . enough to last a week - well rested . . ready to go hard on a Sunday of work & preparing for a busy Monday with out of town clients to tour around . .
whether it is Bill Gates curing diseases in Africa with a single cheque or Esther Dyson opening up the former soviet world with internet access . . all good things . . I wonder if the dying in Africa, oppressed in China & many parts of the Muslim world . . . to say nothing of the starving everywhere – I really wonder if they care about the latest I-pod, satellite radio or George Bush’s legacy
the gap between rich & poor, fed & unfed, healthy & diseased, free & oppressed seems a little wider each day – it may be getting narrower, but I think it is getting deeper
smart people all over the world are doing lots of good things to make the world [or their pockets] better, making discoveries & developing new products which will diagnose & prevent, speed communication, fuel industry etc. . . those things must surely fuel discontent between haves & have-nots ??
how happy vs. unhappy are poor, starving or downtrodden peoples ? in a world where we are more & more capable of giving them a hand, giving them a hand-up are we not fuelling their discontent the more we sit by not helping ?
I’m feeling unbelievably wealthy, though I am not, when I compare my life, my way of life, my home, my country . . my opportunity to the whole world
I am a proponent of personal responsibility, but I wonder if the times have changed such that we should MAKE IT our responsibility to do these things that need doing ?
we expect, I think, our governments, corporate leaders & philanthropists to see the big picture, to see it & act on the things that need doing to help us, help the world & help our fellow citizens
it does not seem to be working
the big picture, the bigger picture – I think – is that we each need to take on that responsibility
sound preposterous, doesn’t it ?
each one, each 1 of us to take on responsibility for 6 billion of us ?
I think we ARE the only ones who can
if I am wrong, please tell me WHO you think is seeing the big picture & solving anything
happy Sunday to all from my soap-box
Mark
Saturday, January 07, 2006
January 7 Responses
Mark, I trust you didn't take my comments (perhaps it is you that is confused) assuggesting that I agree with JD. The communication that is so blatantly clear in my mind has a habit of coming across rather jumbled and often entirely different than my original intent. I love cars. I am one of those men who is not offended when it's suggested my choice of vehicle says something about me. Mere transportation it is not. I would rather drive a 20 year old BMW than a 3 year old "domestic" (given we don't have a Canadian car company, aren't they all imports?). It is a mechanical wonder with which to tinker, repair, tweak and tune into mechanical harmony and driving bliss...or at least that's how it is in my head. My wife's eyes glaze over in less than 3 seconds the moment I say something like "Since I replaced the idle air control solenoid..." My father-in-law on the other hand is listening with rapt interest as he shares the same propensity for taking things apart, ostensibly to make them better but, really we all know we take things apart because it's our nature - "screw goes out, screw goes in...simple enough...what's this do?". My wife thinks cars are
Saturday Jan. 7, 2006 - Year 3, Day 292 - best before
my collection grows . . dinner with muser LW provided 3 things I really like; stimulating conversation, strong opposing views & paella
DA, sorry to read that your mother passed away; the obituary speaks of an incredibly strong & prolific spirit – perhaps that explains you ? my thoughts are with you & SA
death, loss, the end of life on earth makes me wonder if, not unlike the forest floor, the deadfall seeds, fertilizes & gives nourishment to new growth, protects new growth
this morning I read that Lou Rawls died, Ariel Sharon barely clings to life & 12 miners perished - it seems our society [or the media at least] places so much emphasis on death & remembrance . . not enough on birth
it makes me wonder
if the headlines read ‘brilliant corporate icon born, 7 lbs, 8 oz.’ or ‘future leader of France born at 3 AM this morning’ ….or ‘scientist destined to make Einstein obsolete delivered by caesarian section’ . .
it makes me wonder what we would do ?
just as we mourn those who have lived great long lives or done great work or been taken from us before they had an opportunity to make their best contributions, we focus so much attention on that end of the spectrum
when I talk to friends who are new or expectant grandparents, I think they find balance – they find the joy in new life, new potential, new opportunities are what it is all about - knowing that just as their own life approaches later chapters, new issues are going to capture the imagination of a whole new generation
we are here to pass on what we can pass on & then we pass through
life is planned obsolescence, we just don’t know our ‘best before date’
Mine: best before August 7, 2046
Mark