Musing

a sandwich of melt-water on top of ice on top of lagoon, -4/27F, continued Chinook conditions; Gusta romps

overnight emails & early conference calls have disrupted my picture of today & tomorrow a little - actually ..quite a lot

I’ve had an interested revelation lately about situations where I allow myself to be really stressed – some of it is physically reminiscent of troublesome days in past employment situation or personal relationships . .when that stress is imposed by clients, some imposed by others or, as is most often the case, imposed by me

I am getting better at saying no, better at declining to accept responsibility/ownership of someone else’s issues – which means being clearer on my own issues, my owned responsibility; when I do that the horizon looks clearer

I think most people are inclined to say yes or maybe as much as possible, especially when we are in the business of meeting client needs & when trying to deal with friends/family as well; there is not a package of training I recall that taught me how to tell clearly when to say no

failing to say no when I should have usually show us in my twisting belly within minutes – when it does I have learned that the belly feeling will not go away until I have resolved the issue – which has little to do with whether that was really someone else’s responsibility in the first instance

taking on a responsibility for something/someone which is not ‘my stuff’ is happening less all the time . . but periodically that twisting knot in my belly tells me I have missed one

well I did

I am not having fun with it

it will be over soon

Mark

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