Musing

Hi Mark, I don't see Gusta's name on your list of fifteen; guess she could paw her way into many. Eleven of fifteen is pretty darned great, considering most of us never write em down. Your list is short enough to ponder, and uncomplicated enough to work on every day. If you meet eleven again in 06 thats an incredible achievement. Fifteen may be a goal, yet likely impossible. Try adding one or two to the list and removing the same each year. If they all change then you know you're in trouble. Inspired - now I'm going to get down and go about writing my 06 short list. Happy New Year Kiddo, BE, Bragg Creek Alberta

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Mark, thanks for your note a few days ago. I looked up the Tantric Chair, and the video, and wanted to order one right away if it included a hot man to practice all the positions with....but, alas, no one in sight! As far as men and women being friends, I have a couple of male pals, but no man in his right mind would think of investing a lot of time with an attractive women just to be put in the category of 'friend'. Harry didn't think it was possible....Sally did. That's the difference between the male and female brain; not bad, just different..... I think sexual tension is always there, even with male friends.....but without generalizing too much, I think that timing and readiness are huge factors and you know in the first few minutes. Thanks for the list of goals for the new year. It helps me prioritize mine! I'm reading a wonderful book called "What Should I Do With My Life?" by Po Bronson. Interviews with many individuals of all ages on how they answered this question and the transforming and remaking of their lives. Fondly, SW, Coeur d'Alene Idaho

-8C/16C, clear & calm in south Calgary this morning, we were downwind from something interesting – we never saw it but it certainly got Gusta’s attention

always an interesting discourse on arts, primal screaming & foreign affairs . . DL came by for a visit & dinner last night – see you next year

middle aged sleeping in - a delicate balance between sleeping enough to be really decadently rested yet stopping before my back starts killing me

tonight I exit the box called 2005 to enter an empty one called 2006

a box into which I drag most of my possessions [there is a lot to be said of the Italian tradition of throwing things out the window] into the new box

I try to leave some old habits behind – I expect nuns do too

but, what to take on this trip ?

an open mind, a sense of adventure & energy seem like obvious things to pack

what about the other stuff ?

some call it baggage, some call it stuff, some call it ‘my sh__’ . .

we all do this dragging & packing & moving thing every day but rarely stop to say ‘what am I carrying into tomorrow’ with the drama we do about ‘what we are carrying into a new year’

I’d like to leave my procrastination skills behind, but likely won’t get at that for a while

I have some ‘I’m going to do that every day’ as well as ‘some new weekly things’ that will hopefully help me to better achieve my desires for the new year

what desires ?

To change the world a little
To have challenging creative work to do
To be rich with great friendships
To have laughter every day
To have someone to love
To be loved
To have refreshing sleep
To spend time enjoying my family
To have fitness & health
To spend time golfing
To take golfing vacations
To write, publish books & articles
To create a great building
To enjoy financial security
To plan & build a great home

those who know me well will say, ‘those were your goals last year, weren’t they?’

they were, they are, they remain

15 desires, mostly achieved

15 things I know I can do better

my record, with the exception of the last 4, was pretty good this year . . certainly head & shoulders above 2004

today is a blank canvas, so is tomorrow

start painting . . or panting; on 2nd thought . . do both

Mark

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One of my favourite movies - Harry met Sally epitomizes how a mixture of good clean attraction, friendship, & the all important "timing" all play integral roles when it comes to sustaining a long term relationship. I have matched many couples but the ones that last... I would say that timing & mutual long term goals i.e family, career, kids, PETS etc. Seem to have the best chances. I wish you a very Happy New Year & thanks for all your writings throughout the year!, RA, Calgary

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Mark, from your definitions, it sounds like you have a good grasp on what is / is not chemistry, but when the time is right, don't forget to stop calling NEXT...! Wishing you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!, LW, Calgary

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Mark - You have me drooling every time you talk about food. I love toasted English muffins smothered in peanut butter. Cute musing! I think Harry wanted a friendship with benefits (until Sally cut him off and he came to his senses) Most women want to know and feel secure in a committed relationship. Mark - are you looking for a friendship with benefits or something much more meaningful? VBL, Englewood Colorado

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Who said what? I think you made a typo. Was it not Harry who said men and women can't be friends. Please advise. , TH, Calgary

-10C/14F, overcast, light breeze, return to seasonal temps refreshes . . .

if feels like Saturday morning - sleeping late, munching toasted English muffins smothered in peanut butter, fingers ink stained from newspapers with Gusta racing around like an idiot each time the phone rings . .

4 remaining days till new year’s work begins, 4 days of work remaining – firs time that has happened all year

interesting exchange/meeting last night over coffee with LS, a local muser who wanted to meet me

she was far less interested in me than I expected . . or hoped

what defines chemistry ?

is it intellectual, biological, spiritual, experiential, or something else ?

or is it just 2 people in the right place at the right time in the right mood ?

I know what it is not

it is not superficial, it is not gamesmanship, it is not mystery/allure

it is not clothes, hair & makeup

it is not fitness, fatness, surgical alterations or self-help

it is not fad, fashion or fancy

it is touch, brain, smile, warmth; it us purr & loin, wanton wanting & body language

men & women can just be friends, but why ?

I vote with Harry

. . . NEXT

Mark

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Satisfaction, LC, Calgary ?

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Hi. Many thanks for your very interesting musings over the last year.I am now writing to ask to be taken off your list, as I will be away from a computer for the next few months. If you have no objections. I will contact you again on my return and supply you with my new email address.Once again many thanks Cheers, TQ, ?

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I am so pleased for KJR and for you, Mark, that KJR let you know how your musings had contributed to hers life, her siblings, her mother ~ how beautiful for both of you - and for all of us out here in musing-land. LBK, Palm Desert

-3C/27F calm & sunny; our walk short uneventful & refreshing like a spring morning when I crave to see something green, something sprouting . .

have you seen it ?

what does success look like ?

when I chase it, do I have a notion of what the destination looks like ?

do I sometimes miss it when I have it in the palm of my hand ?

I like that phrase; I use it often when meeting with clients – I use it to focus discussion around what the real goal ought to be

I use it in my own planning, not that I can necessarily design a successful year or life by writing a plan, but that I can point myself in useful directions with purpose to produce desired results

you must admit it is a good cliché, a good question to ask when pursuing an opportunity of any kind – what will success look like ?

whether it is some business I pursue, some person I want to get to know, a relationship of any kind that I am interested in developing – I try to ask myself, what does success look like ?

more than to answer those classic questions of ‘is it real, is it worth it, can I win’ ?

more than ‘does it give me satisfaction, value or improvement in some form ? ’

I know I have often been looking in the wrong places or in the wrong direction

I’ve found helping my client, my friend, my reader, my neighbour . . helping them achieve what they need & want to achieve is how I tell myself that I measure success

if I helped them get to their goal then I have accomplished something, right?

if I accomplish those things I will feel great, but is that any measure of success?

is it a measure of me? I wonder about that

yesterday, the response from KJR, hit me somewhere around my ego-centric nerve; it stunned me, humbled me & made me feel pretty good too

it seems perverse I guess to be feeling good when someone has gone through such grief, but to have provided a way for my thoughts & the words of other musers to reach out to help someone in such a way at a time of stress, pain & grief gives me pause to reflect & smile

the smile across my face when I read KJR’s words . . that feeling

maybe it looks like that ?

Mark
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Mark, just wanted to say I enjoy your daily bulletins and best wishes for 2006.And that life is too short to stay home on New Year's Eve. So reach out andfind a party, CC, Calgary

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Mark, have a great wrap-up to 2005. Thank you for sharing over the last year. Communication makes us all better people. All the best for the new year and the challenges we have in front of us., NL, Calgary

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RE: priorities - Dec. 27 - Hello Mark, I seldom, if ever, offer comment on your musing although they are frequently viewed. This one - priorities - struck a cord. For me, this holiday season was spent reflecting on the life of a loved one who passed away a short time ago. This often involved wondering if she would be satisfied with the product of her life's work. For this special person, I think the answer would be "yes". In her own way, she left this world in a better state than she found it. In other words, she had her priorities straight. Similar to your musing, I wonder if I will able to make the same statement and be content with my life's work. We all need to continually assess the validity and value of our priorities. Best wishes as youevaluate yours, DS, Calgary

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Mark, I want to tell you how very much your Musings from Sept 27 thru Sept 30 this year meant to me. The timing for the discussion around "taking your Dad [or Mom] for granted / 'need to drive an old guy to the hospital", "our Mother has cancer", "facing the terminal illness and death of a loved one", and "your friend's Mother has cancer" was uncanny. My Mother was first diagnosed with emphysema on Sept 21 ... five weeks later the diagnosis was corrected to terminal lung cancer ... 6 1/2 weeks later, Mom was gone. I sent quotes from and referencing your musings to my four siblings on Oct 6, to encourage them to wake up and rally round my Mother. They didn't "get it" until some weeks later, but when they did, they all came home to visit and help care for my Mother for weeks at a time. And, we were all there with her when she passed away. You performed a valuable service for me and my family. I will never forget your contribution. So, even though you were unaware that you were making a difference at the time, you were. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing that invaluable advice which spurred me on to act in ways that I will always be proud and grateful for having done so. KJR, Calgary

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Hi - I'm sorry but this is my work e-mail and I am too busy to read your musings at work - so kindly remove me from your distribution list. Thanks, NB, Calgary

-1C / 30F, light breeze, paths are mostly bare except for where they are moonscapes of ice, dog romps, I slip slide glide & scramble after; we returned pre-sunrise, a sliver of moon near the horizon as if standing ready to hand of lighting duties to the day shift

Gusta got shots & a clean bill of health at the vet yesterday . . she weighed in at 57 pounds

each year I try [another failing resolution] to not end the year in a work tizzy, each year I face the dilemma of genuinely clearing the deck to be open to all things for the new year, each year it collides with my desire to take an ‘escape day’ to play hooky, get out of town, start my day doing something completely different without regard for where it might take me

as I prepare for next year I have much already planned; some traditional planning for current business, for finding new clients & serving established ones too; some planning for some new ventures . . tentative ones anyway; some work/play/lifestyle/health items on my mind that are starting to gain some momentum for me – more time to read, more time to play, more sleep, better use of my time . . a healthier focus

reading about trends, it seems more people are buying books & reading about trends . .

1 day . . .

one day . . .

some day . . .

so often I say things that start that way

how ‘wishful speculation’ becomes real action is something I would like to understand better, so often finding wishful speculation becomes a past-intention so quickly; I love the result when it happens, I wonder why when it doesn’t

is it lack of real resolve, ‘that I am not really convinced’ or am I like an attention deficit child turning my interest to something new before one thing or thought is fully developed ?

4 days away from the end of another year, a reducing pile of ‘the things I must finish this year’ is more ‘end of year’ resolution than a ‘new year’ one; I know I am OK because I have garbage bags left

3 days away from new year’s eve without plans . . . dinner at home would be nice . . not alone would be better

2 days of intense work ahead

I shun ‘new year’s resolutions’ as a concept, but cannot avoid taking a ‘clear the deck, clear the plate, get set to do some things differently’ approach

1 day . . .

one day . . .

some day . . .

Mark

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I so agree with the confused priorities, and I am guilty of getting into the whole thing and regretting I didn't do something more meaningful for others ~ also, to be an example to my grandchildren; too many toys, the focus on receiving, not giving. I am going to talk with them about what is missing from Christmas, and how we can do better next year. Seeing the replay of the tsunami and the horror of that is overwhelming ~ so much pain in the world, and spending money at department stores does not fix it. LBK, Palm Desert

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Mark, The past three days have been hectic with running here and there for the Christmas celebrations. Staring Christmas Eve with supper at my sisters to this afternoon visit to my cousins. Today is really the first time in the last three that I have taken time to sit and the computer to read my emails and reply to those that were important. One from a colleague to inform us that he has found that special person and it is in the hands of the government agencies to fix things so that she can come here from France. My Mother was up from Calgary this year but I wonder how many more she will make. She finds it hard just to get ready saying that it takes her a week to get ready. She is 83 now and next month will turn a year older. Her cooking was excellent for Christmas dinner as she took all us out to the best Chinese restaurant in Edmonton. I in turn cooked a 21 lb turkey my youngest son got from the place he works for all the family yesterday. Had 12 people for supper with just 10 for the main sitting as my oldest one had to work so was late. Said that everyone was just dragging their butts. Must have been suffering from turkey overload from Christmas day. The meal was great as said by all. My brother-in-law, sister, young son and his friend got up after we opened all the late gifts and did the dishes for me which I really appreciated. Woke up at 6 this morning. Called my friend who is 15 hours ahead of us. I miss her very much but still we are close even though so far apart. Wished she was here for all that was done these past few days but the magazine and grooming of her son to take over still remains high on our plans to be together. Both our families have adopted us as part of them. You have a great New Year Mark and should I happen to get to Calgary I will try to look you up so we can put some faces to the names that travel through the internet so easily. , BGM, Edmonton

chilly breeze nips ears, +5C/41F, molten ball just clearing horizon as we returned from our walk; Gusta’s post-Christmas sluggishness [too many treats] is gone as she resumed pulling hard

CB’s birthday today - still away & not answering your phone . . sorry girl, you still count another year even if no one can reach you to say happy birthday !

year end reflections are ways for journalists to fill space when there is nothing else going on so they pages & airtime by interviewing supposed experts & leaders about ‘why’ things happened & inviting predictions for the year ahead

I’ve been wondering – as this collision of history & tradition brings Kwanzee, Hannukah, Christmas, Roman & pagan rituals around the winter solstice all together – this self indulgent ritual of gifting celebration & restful holidays is really quite new in the history of the world, which makes me wonder how long it will last

I think it is due for some major change, I think we need to recognize our priorities are out of whack; Boxing Day sales have given way to Boxing week sales; it seems the world would come to a halt – time would stop – if we could not attend holiday movies & shop at 50% off

the whole commerce of the season seems to have taken control on a mass scale; this is not about how individuals behave but large numbers of people operating in the delusion they are independent thinkers

no more than lab rats in a maze, we are Pavlov’s dogs . . our behaviour micro-managed by software, Madison Avenue, Wall Street & Hollywood that would startle anyone in history who has tried to manipulate a people

this decadent use of time, effort & money needs to change – not to eliminate rest, frivolity or time with family, but the decadence is unbelievably obscene when victims of the tsunami are still living in the streets & bodies of hurricane victims have yet to be DNA tested

a year ago the horror of a tsunami hit us all just as harshly as the water hit millions the day before; a year later their world has changed forever

if we made as much effort to take care of those who need help as we did negotiating lineups to get the best bargain, if we put our brainpower to work on the biggest problems then we might see more peace breaking out everywhere, more people – governments, corporations & individuals – trying collectively to solve some of the big problems

we have our priorities messed up

our world MUST not look the same a year from now or 10 or we will be very sorry

Mark

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Mark, Thank you so much for your musings…happy holidays! , SM-B, Calgary
p.s. Dot and Spek’s mom was a golden retriever and their dad is a black lab…maybe future playmates for Gusta

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Please hold all messages til further notice as I am traveling...and often email is inaccessible for me... Thanks so much, FA, Calgary

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Hi Mark: I appreciate receiving your musings each day but I am leaving the country and my email access will be limited, so please unsubscribe me. Thanks, CC, Calgary

+1C/34F . . sunny with cloudy periods is the weather report; I’d report ‘cloudy with hope of a sunny period’ . . . light breeze

in the weeks leading up to Christmas I was sharing some of my dad’s melancholy; I didn’t tell him, but tried to get him into the spirit of the season

it seems a lot of people, the ones that he least expected, showed him warmth & kindness beyond his expectations, beyond his own actions; he was startled, amazed & grateful

this morning I reflect on my own little experiences of amazement lately – mostly involving my children & my father because they are so close in many ways but also thinking about people who matter much to me, near & far, ones I speak with frequently, ones I speak with sparingly, ones I never speak with anymore, ones I hope to know, ones I hope to explore

add to this a Christmas letter from KT together with a piece she wrote http://www.banderasnews.com/0512/nb-allaboutlove.htm about the Children of the Dump called ‘It’s all about love’ got me thinking well beyond how lucky I am to have such a treasure as a dear friend; I am so proud of what she proves with her words & actions

all of the above, got me thinking about:

Question: love

is that a question, an answer, a noun or a verb ?

is it what he have, what we lost, what we want, what we had, what we wish for ?

reflecting on Christmas . . . is it those I spent time with, those I connected with ?

is it thinking about those I missed, those I miss, those I did not hear from ?

is it thinking about what matters, what mattered & what never mattered ?

is it perspective - more than viewing from different angles it is viewing from different distances – forward & back, but mostly back ?

is it waiting, wanting & wanton ?

is it patient, hungry or serene ?

is it never when or where we expect it, where we force it or where we try to make it happen ?

is it everywhere ?

is it in us all – craving expression ?

is it not who you love, but that you love which is most important ?

Answer: all of the above

Mark

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Merry Christmas Mark . . & Happy Hanukkah too.. Regards. JF & EF, Calgary

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A merry, merry Christmas to you and your family, Mark. May your coming new year be filled with nothing but joy! LR(B), Irvine

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Merry Christmas Mark! I continue to enjoy your musings. All the best in the New Year!, SK, Edmonton

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Hi Mark, Just wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas, good health and much happiness in 2006. Fried egg sandwiches bought back a flood of memories of dayslong past. RL, ?

0C/32F . . calm, clear & sunny; Gusta was downwind from some exciting scents . . Carla walked with me

food & family are so intertwined – they bring us together

it is not about the ingredients, it’s about who is at the table

like the movie ‘Eat Drink, Man Woman’ or ‘Like Water For Chocolate’ or SC’s family making chocolates . . . most families have food favorite traditions

I’m not sure when exactly it started

clearly it was in the last 20 years . . something I made - not often, but just for my kids

along the way it became a Christmas morning tradition: crisp bacon, an egg fried in butter, hot toast . . . assembled carefully in layers, then sliced diagonally spilling yoke between two portions scooped onto a plate before a yellow drop is lost, then eaten & dipped to the plate wiped clean – scrumptious . . . better yet with a little ketchup

Carla & I kicked some serious butt at Trivial Pursuit, we had too much food but never too many laughs yesterday as we enjoyed our family Christmas dinner & gift exchange & my dad had a great time too – Krista & Brad left for Red Deer last night [to be with his family], Carla stayed here

Krista was disappointed she couldn’t stay for Christmas morning traditional breakfast of fried bacon & egg sandwiches . . . but Carla the vegetarian is here [hold the bacon]

Merry Chistmas everyone . . & Happy Hanukkah to our Jewish friends who start their celebration at sundown today with the lighting of the first candle in their menorah

gotta run - bacon & eggs to fry . . . it is not about the ingredients, it’s about who is at the table

Mark

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As I reflect on this past year, I realize it was a year of firsts, a year of discovery, a good year. Mark you were all those things for me. I don't know what this coming year has in store for me, but I do know I am looking forward to it. Thanks for your friendship etc. I hope you find that someone you would like to wake up with, DL, Calgary

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Mark, Wishing you and yours,a happy and healthy New Year....Merry Christmas ..L.A, Calgary

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Merry Christmas Mark and all the best in 2006! Cheers, PM, Calgary

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Very Best Wishes to you and your family Mark, enjoy today and may it be one of your best Christmases ever! , GR, Edmonton

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Hi Mark , Just heading off to Saskatchewan with my Dad (75 yrs young) to visit mysister and her family for Christmas. As this is our Non-Family Xmas, I had my family over for our Xmas last night and now they are free to visit their in-laws and not have any stress in trying to connect with me. Christmas is stressful enough as it is. Have a great Christmas Mark and best wishes to your Dad and your daughters. Take care, CCC, Calgary

0C/32F, clear, sun rising . . . it looks like we are going to have a ‘brown Christmas’; the neighbourhood is quiet except for dog walkers

most days I write what is in my belly more than what is on my mind, today I'm lost in the past

I am remembering Christmases past [more Cratchett-like than Scroogly]; the humblest have been some of the best, some ‘end of relationship’ times were strange indeed – but some of the best memories are of driving meals-on-wheels on Christmas mornings with my kids, taking a few minutes to brighten the day of someone whose days were pretty dim indeed. I am remembering trips away vs. staying home. Home ones were best.

company is coming . . we are doing our Christmas family dinner here today . . so tic toc . .

my perfect Christmas eve turkey stuffing recipe:
drink coffee, read papers, turn on oven, publish musings, make stuffing [sauté chopped giblets in butter along with chopped fresh sage, chopped red onion, chopped celery, sliced water chestnuts, add cajun spices liberally, lots of fresh ground pepper, crushed rock salt – the mix in a large pot with chopped dry bread & crumbs, stir around, pour in ¼ pound melted butter . . stir, crunch & mash with hands till condensed & ready for installation], stuff turkey neck & chest cavities, drape bacon strips all over the breast & the exposed stuffing in the chest cavity, liberally dust bird with cracked pepper, cajun spice mix, spray lightly with cooking oil to hold in place, put turkey in oven, put extra stuffing in casserole dish, bath dog, put camera batteries in charger, wrap gifts, vacuum, shave, shower, get dressed, pick up things I forgot, pick up my dad, wait for Carla & Krista & Brad to arrive, baste turkey, pour some drippings on casserole dish of stuffing & put it in the oven, take out crackling bacon for everyone to nibble on, rip gifts open, baste turkey several times, serve drinks & snacks, talk, talk, talk, cook potatoes & veggies, carve turkey, make creamy spicy gravy from drippings . . eat & talk & rip gifts open, talk & talk & talk a lot, hugs & hugs & hugs . . wait 365 days . . repeat

having a birthday so close to Christmas is part blessing/part curse; double presents but a special day can be dwarfed by the enormous occasion to follow; many more happy ones to you MW

lots of friends checking in . . CB is off to Smithers – we are speculating on whether he will pop the question – her answer should take 1 . . maybe 2 seconds . .stay tuned !

drive safely, drink safely, eat safely & have a wonderful Chistmas Eve . . I sure will

Mark

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Hi Mark, Time to unzip my lip.....I have found many of your and your followers comments enlightening. Hope I can do likewise. For SA, I was party to the discussions on the name for Singles and Friends Toastmasters, and Mark is correct on the thought that if a person's status changes, there was no intent to make them "persona non grata"...which is why the name includes "Friends". It appears to me that SA, you may be fixated on the name "Singles". I also invite you, SA and others interested to a S&F Toastmasters meeting to visit, participate and enjoy. "Past President of S&F Toastmasters" And Season's Greetings to All!!! HBB, Calgary

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HI Mark. Good email on Friday. I think that all generations produce(d) people who bother to concern themselves with things that are wider than the day to day and also those who don't. In the 2000's those who don't think sometimes sound as if they do because they have taken training courses or are quoting a trendy book. But is there less ignorance when much of what they "know" is factually in error - or dumbness numbness that you so accurately described - or is applied thoughtlessly? Concerning Hemingway, does he mean that a psychopath should not be restrained by our courts because he feels good (possibly a sense of accomplishment) after killing someone? Or is it okay to hurt someone else when you personally benefit. Concerning the Supreme Court, in addition to who is going to decide what is harmful, what about harms that flow to others that are not involved in the actions before the court? Many might think that the Court made the "right" decision here since these are consenting adults in a private place. Applying the harm criterion to other situations might not suit our culture. For example, should we have unrestrained hunting because environmental harm resulting from eliminating species is not a direct consequence of each act of hunting. Possibly this is all too much for Christmas. All the best on the new year, LHE, Calgary

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Merry Christmas Mark !, RC, Calgary

I rose early, worked a little, walked & returned before first light; +6C/43F, calm quiet followed our walk deep into the park where Gusta found undisturbed snow to revel in while morning traffic built to a dull hum in the distance; city lights lit a moonless overcast sky

days getting longer now, too soon to notice much difference, but mild weather sure makes the darkness easy to take

I wonder . . in the rise & fall of great civilizations, if there is a way to plot that on a graph – then try to define where on the curve WE ARE right now

are we rising or falling ?

are we blossoming into an age of enlightenment or, as some might speculate, on the cusp of going to a dark hot place in a hand basket ?

I would like to think we live in a fascinating time where ‘society’ on earth or portions of it has a lot of collective choices in front of us; like a pendulum we swing [pun not intended] widely at times, then swing back again

or is that an old model that no longer fits?

politicians on both sides of the 49th wag their fingers pointing to values, moralizing & demonizing – more as smokescreen than anything else I think – buying votes the old fashioned way, scaring people & pretending people are, collectively, as stupid as they used to be

I don’t know

are people as ignorant as they used to be ?

we are awash in information, ideas, knowledge & connectivity – none of which is a cure for blindness, none of which is a cure for ignorance, none of which is a cure for intolerance

information & media overload is numbing, perhaps dumbing leaving dumbness numbness; we assume collectively that the 5th estate & the internet will keep leaders accountable, disclose all information we should have - which should be virtually everything – all as some panacea for comfort & progress

dumbness numbness !

BH . . my comments were a collective ‘supreme court ruling, same gender unions & a movie about cowboy lovers’; my point being that courts striking down an archaic definition of decency/indecency together with the other items was – all on one day – a little overwhelming in terms of media play + the volume of media play was, in my view, overkill; why the hype recognizing realities of life today ? I am not advocating that your participate in swing clubs, attend a same gender union or buy a ticket to that movie . . it just seemed a little surreal to me; of the 3 I’d likely attend only 1 . . I’ll leave that one to your imagination

“Never let a sense of what is right blind you to what is true. ” – Scott Allen

“I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.” – Ernest Hemingway

to LR . . happy 19th anniversary of your 29th birthday

to SA . . our toastmasters club welcomes singles only but, should someone get coupled up, we have no desire to expel them . . but we would probably want an invitation to the wedding! If you are interested, check us out http://singlesandfriendstoastmasters.blog-city.com/ or come to a meeting !

tonight will be the night before the night before Christmas . . time to finish my shopping & tidy up because our celebration will be here Christmas eve. . . tic toc . .

Mark

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Your recent commentary in Musings (which I have found enjoyable in the main,and thank you for your daily effort!) does not sit well with me. Specifically"I’m so glad the Supreme Court & Hollywood finally caught up with how peoplelive their lives". This issue IS Hollywood's agenda, the lifestyle choice you indicate has always been just that - choice. It has always been tolerated in the main, wasseen as not mainstream, but is now thrust forward as a core part of societyby a well-structured media/Hollywood/political agenda. Have a safe Christmas and apositive 2006., BH

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I have a question for you...if someone belonging to the Singles toastmasters ceases to become single...does that mean they are no longer a welcome member of the club? Because the single/divocedness no longer applies? Well I guess one will always be divorced one they have become so, so maybe there is a loophole there...and then there are always the non-singles who are always seeking out Plan 'B'...loophole, technicality...loophole, technicality..., SA

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Hey Mark, if you are serious about finding a good coach, XXX YYYYY is the best! I have his info somewhere if you are interested. Bob is an amazing guy, so positive but in a very real way, no fakes here. Let me know if you want his contact info. , NMB

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Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year. I will remember you Dad in my thoughts through this holiday season. So glad that Winter Solstice is here, the light is coming back from here on, til Mid Summer's Eve!! Have a wonderful Christmas. NMB

. . .

Thank you. I have enjoyed your musings. It has been such a trying year globally and in many ways personally yet, without a doubt, each day is filled with new revelations, gifts of the heart, surprises, quiet joy and thanksgiving. Perhaps sometime you may even be interested in meeting me. I thought it might be interesting in that if I understand correctly you are single and perhaps open to the idea or possibility of developing a close companionship. I am 54, on my own for almost 15 years. I have an incredibly wonderful daughter and son in law in Calgary. I teach, read walk, volunteer, love to watch movies of all kinds and travel every opportunity I have the opportunity to do so. My faith in the goodness of life is steadfast., RP

-1C/30F, strong Chinook breeze, warm day ahead; neighbourhood quiet as ‘those working’ dwindles before the holidays

we all belong to clubs, groups or sub-sets of society

none of us is alone; we are all part of one demographic statistic or another

whether or not we belong to a club, we are united by commonality of thoughts – some members of ‘the community’ having standards or thoughts or interests that set them apart, formally or informally; sometimes to be counted, more often to be part of one silent minority or another

the amount of ink devoted to one’s view of morality this morning - surely in-fill for a news scarce week - morning papers overflow with news coverage of Elton John’s wedding, stories about the movie Brokeback Mountain together with details of a Supreme Court ruling that swing clubs are not illegal . . . . that would make a swinging 1960’s time-traveler blush, laugh, smile & tear off their toga

I am not angry – just highly amused

I find it interesting when journalists & jurists alike feel obliged to tell us their definition of decency vis-à-vis its opposite – no doubt wanting to take some form of moral high ground before the politicians mix it up on whether or not our private thoughts & behaviour should be regulated by someone’s definition of what is indecent

I live in a country where, thanks to lawmakers & lawbreakers pushing the envelope it has long been reality that defining what I should see, do or think is a matter of personal responsibility, not illegality – I’m so glad the Supreme Court & Hollywood finally caught up with how people live their lives

for something completely different about group behaviour:

the last 14 months since our singles Toastmasters club was formed, interesting times bringing people together who would otherwise likely never meet, where most of us share 2 or 3 commonalities [singleness, speaking, divorced-ness] + the sense of ‘belonging’ to our club

support group for speakers ? singles mingle club ? a singles group with a speaking problem ?

or lab animals in a sociology study ?

maybe a bit of all those things . . . resulting in lots of laughs & smiles & emotional moments among friends

last night’s pot-luck dinner meeting [20 of our 30 members attending], a night for laughter & seasonal celebration; as always we learn so much of someone else’s view of the world in something as simple as a 2 minute speech responding spontaneously to a question - bonds we form & what we learn of someone else’s ‘human condition’ go far beyond the privileges of membership

Mark

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lovely :).. , anon

+9C/48F, lovely start to a season, light frost on the path, Gusta met & sniffed another retriever, otherwise our walk in the dark was uneventful . . . but the trees seemed happy to be warmer

the day ahead will be a mix of pushing paper, calls & cooking a turkey for our Toastmasters pot-luck dinner tonight . . gobblegobble

some days I have something to write about, something to say, someone to say it too but the keys take a while to warm up - taking my time with morning papers & coffee & toasted muffins did not help much

I went shopping yesterday for gifts; I took my dad & his walker

To All: if you have an your elderly parent, take them out ‘to the mall’ or anywhere that you can soak up a little bit of the seasonal buzz, the noise & glitter of it all – it makes a worthy difference, to say nothing of how good you might feel too

I don’t think I got him much exercise or to feel like he was participating much – in fact he mostly stood waiting as I would pick & choose . . waiting still more while I went through the snaked line of shoppers waiting to pay . . we walked to another store . . repeat, repeat, repeat

I came back with packages

he came back with a smile

oh yeah, it’s Christmas

Mark

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My heart goes out to your Dad, Mark, and to the lovely person from Oklahoma on the loss of a child. This time of year is difficult when we have losses ~ and we all have them. I still remember a conversation I had with my grandmother when I was in my 20's and she was talking about the loss of all of her friends. My grandmother was blessed with a long life, but the other side of that was she was the last one standing – my grandfather died, all of her friends and siblings - she still had hersons and grandchildren, but I remember thinking how sad it was that her "people" were not there any more. I feel very blessed to have my friends of many years, also newer friends, and now my muser friends ~ and wish all a Christmas season of contentment and love. LBK, PalmDesert, Ca.
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Mark, I was given your latest musings as a gift from a fellow colleague and I would like to ask that you add me to your daily mailing. Your comments today connected with me and I would like to say thank you for the simplicity of your thoughts. Merry Christmas, I look forward to reading more., SZ, Calgary
. . .
Mark: How special your writings are today. Touched me in more ways than one. As I get ready for my family Christmas in Vancouver and Smithers, from my house to yours, to all the musers, to your family and all the musers families, I send HUGS for a Merry Christmas to all or whatever wonderful tradition everyone of you celebrates. May you feast in the joy and love of your family and friends and make new memories. All the best!!! , CB, Calgary
. . .
This was a wonderful musing Mark, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and the family you love so much, including Gusta. Cheers, LW, Mississauga
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Your musing really touched me today. Some of the most special gifts that I have received are gifts that the giver didn't even know they gave.- NI, Calgary

. . .

Hey Mark, Merry Christmas to you. Can you please take me off the daily email, I would prefer now to visit your blog site., JR, Calgary

+4C / 39F & rising - a warm treat this last day of autumn, Gusta’s high speed run&sniff show enjoyed

a fitting day to start my Christmas shopping; store stocks at ‘manageable levels’ now

a short mall walk this afternoon with HK & his walker should do the trick to find perfect gifts

what made ‘perfect gift’ moments of Christmas past ?

I buy gifts for people in my life who matter to me - birthdays, Christmas & sometimes for no occasion at all – many are discarded, worn out or long forgotten

many are lost & gone not because of anything wrong with the choice, with the calibre of the gift . . but lost from memory for giver, receiver or both

some stand out

memories to last a lifetime

how do we do that ? . . I mean pick the perfect gift to give someone

how did I know that giving Krista that ‘oversized thing that looked like a toaster’ called a Hot-Diggety-Dogger would bring such joy to my hot-dog loving child ?

gifts I give & ones I receive have nothing to do with things or price tags or the occasion du jour

it is not the gifts but the moments that matter

is memory of opening the asked for ‘big gift’ may be meaningful or memorable for a short while; does it rank with a ‘ketchup incident’ or floating down a river in Alaska ?

or a note saying ‘I’ll plant you a rose garden’ ?

or just in the way they were wrapped - the disguised ones that used to thrill my kids still do I think as they think back or something wrapped with meaning, care & tears

‘souvenirs’ of Christmas past kept in drawers, hung on walls, tucked away, worn away or long ago thrown away

I’d like to send a solution to a friend with a problem, some healing to another for raw pain, some ‘company’ to someone feeling incredible loneliness, some putty to some waiting hands

from sea to see, from Calgary to Portland to Ottawa to Puerta Vallarta to Los Mochis, to Edmonton to many places & back I have memories

they touch deeply – some past, some present, some future

giving words, giving memories, giving an emotional hug that can stretch from here to there

from here to there in a pair of heartbeats – it does not matter if both parties are conscious of the gift or the thought

it is not an issue of being better to give than receive; it is a matter of having someone to care about, someone to spend emotion on

I’m shopping with an enormous emotional budget & considerably less cash

my packages will be small, the gifts few

when I am done my dad will be smiling; not for the outing but for the chance to help pick & choose gifts for his granddaughters & for my friends . . . maybe we’ll find something special for him too

the difference between a well chosen gift & the perfect gift is mixed timing & emotion; it has little to do with pricing, wrappings or indeed the quality of the design

the well chosen gift brings emotion to the surface just thinking about it many years later - it brings out the best in us

I look around my home, drawers & treasures - precious memories, gifts that matter so much – not for what they are but for what was going on between me & that person in my life at the time . . . or now . . or in the future

my ‘perfect gift store’ it would be stocked with memories, poignant moments, tears, laughter, pain & tight squeezes

for those of us on the top half of the world tonight is the longest of the year, tomorrow the shortest day –Winter Solstice - autumn morphs to winter as the Sun is at its lowest path in the sky as earth has been tilting more & more each day for six months – then, today it will tilt that last time stopping, unchanged tomorrow before starting a six month tilt back the other way

a perfect gift shopping day – full tilt !

Mark

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-14C/+7F, clear, chilly north wind bites, rosy hue on horizon hints at a new arrival

what will it be ? will it be healthy ? will it grow quickly ?

will it be a time for laughter & smiles or a day for tears ?

each day is like a birth . . . it lives 1 day, is gone again only to be reborn the next

whatever we don’t do this day is lost forever

friends are easy to find, good friends are less common, extraordinary friends are rare

exceptional extraordinary friends are very very rare

when they walk into a room, it’s like a rosy sunrise

on this day quite a while ago - perhaps nearly six decades ago - there must have been a rosy hue on the horizon in Espanola, hinting at an extraordinary new arrival

happy birthday greetings to SA from spanola, in Edmonton this morning [P.S. to DA: yes, I am flirting with your wife but I am doing it publicly so no one will notice]

so . . . take a few minutes to wish someone happy birthday; it matters not whether it is their birthday - in your life there is someone who can light a room before they arrive . . maybe today is the day to tell them how much you appreciate they are in your day !

Mark

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Re: regrets - A topic true to the meaning of musings...........Well-stated, always thoughtful and now we're wiser, nb

. . .
I have watched and waited these past days of musings and am quite amazed that nobody has commented on the muser (LR) who referred to her step-grandmother as a cockroach (Dec 12th), and referred to her impending passing in the following way ... "When she finally succumbs, it'll be a relief for all of us". I have also experienced ornery, cantankerous people but I happen to believe that there is good in all of us ... sometimes its a little harder to find. ,KD

. . .

Hi Mark: I've always admired your committment to your Dad. You are lucky to have your Dad and he is lucky to have you. Both your lives are enriched by each other. At this time of year when perhaps we are thinking more about family and missing those who won't be with us, it is heartwarming to see that neither of you take your relationship for granted. Please pass on my best wishes of the season, DL

-17C /+1F, calm clear cold; moonlight, stars & tree lights witnessed our walk while the neighbourhood slept

early, energized, eager - frenetic energy effective early this morning getting lots done; my thinking is that I have only about 45 days of work to complete in the next 2 weeks, so there is no need to rush

life is a flurry of activity, sometimes I wonder why I hurry

I am trying to pack every opportunity into the shortest possible time knowing one day I will run out of time, hopefully I won’t run out of fun

but today, it seems like a day for ‘not rushing’

I often go googling . . in search of a quote to support [or not] my daily theme; today I struck out finding anything I liked on rushing . . but found these gems:

‘Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.’ – Albert Einstein

‘I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.’ – Humphrey Bogart

more coffee & reading & planning my shopping; with 7 shopping days left, no need to rush

movie ‘The Family Stone’ has a few incredibly funny scenes & a poignant message; if you like slightly sappy & predictable chick-flick-y romantic comedy with Christmas theme, you will like this one too

btw, the other day when I mentioned cheekbones, I meant facial cheekbones; someone pointed out there are two meanings . . hmmm . .

Mark

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Mark, Please take me off this list [7], as I am already on your list 4. I enjoy your musings on my crackberry, TK

. . .

Rescheduling...hmm guilty ...Sometimes have done it because I forgot how to say the word No and loaded my plate with far more than I could deal with..sometimes because I know do not have the energy that the other person will need and will end up cheating both them and myself out of what should have been time well spent ... sometimes have done it because am just not fit company...but most often have done it because there was just cause...there is a word in Cree which I think covers all of this Kieum..everything in it's own time.. have to admit like that word when I have to "reschedule" because I am not able to give what needs to be given . BTW my desire to reschedule coffee with you was legit, was ill. Missed spending time with a dear friend mayhap meeting a new one. Kieum, SM

. . .

Mark, I have been enjoying your musings for about 6 months now, not sure how they found me, but they did. You often provoke a thought or smile that I continue to think of even after I've signed off. I wrote to you one other time back in the summer after the sudden tragic murder of my son. My heart knows that lonliness your Dad feels! This is a difficult season for people with grief & oh, how I never had a clue! You said, "confronting our own reality is uncomfortable." I don't think you could have said it any better. I am being forced to confront my reality as we are in the midst of legal actions that are quite grueling. A season for joy & happiness, seems only in times long ago. Maybe someday. I am amazed at how well on a daily basis you put your thoughts to words to print to mail to inspiration. You do a wonderful job & I look forward to my musing tomorrow. BUT today, if you have the time or opportunity, hug your dad & let him know that hug comes all the way from Oklahoma from someone that truly knows his loneliness ! Merry Christmas to all. LJH

rising sun burned off the ice-fog revealing a dusting of snow overnight, clear, -15C/5F, Gusta easily pleased by so little . . sliding on snowy lawns at every chance

first order of business - on behalf of my dad [HK] who enjoys reading musings & all your responses; he appreciates the kind wishes of musing readers that get passed along. He asked me to send this message from him to all of you:

have a Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year, HK

I’d like to be cheering him up a little more/better, but that is difficult lately. The death of his brother the other day is not the sole cause as much as it is the loneliness he feels – living in a place with many people, but without a special ‘snap, crackle, pop’ with anyone at a time of year when so much reminds us of joy & happiness, without regard for whether anyone really has it

confronting our own reality is uncomfortable, for all of us

it only takes a moment, to reschedule or cancel altogether; I’ve done it many hundreds of times – a business norm to re-shuffle again & again, yet experience teaches that people who really want something to happen make it happen; when they don’t want it to happen, they ensure that it does not, rescheduling being a very effective tool

example: when we prepare minutes of meetings & reports we list the names of those who showed up & then have a separate list of ‘regrets’, archaic term indicates they did not show up - they cancelled, they could not rearrange their schedule, they ‘regretted’ not being able to attend; more often, I think, it means ‘could not be bothered’, ‘it was not important enough’ or ‘I have a bigger fish on the other line’ . . . as much as a REAL reason

I admit to doing it - last week I did it 3 times; twice I really had to, once because I was not prepared – so I rescheduled

rescheduling: polite way of canceling & telling the other party they were not important enough to plan for, to keep a commitment & to make the effort

not the words we use, but that is reality; when we do it regularly, we must expect it in return

when it comes back on it does several things; first it reminds me what it must feel like for others when I cancel, secondly, it causes me to examine motives, it affects my opinion of the other party - occasionally it frees up my schedule on a day when I was thinking of rescheduling, sweet relief in the moment; really a passive-aggressive rationalization

rescheduling a routine meeting two weeks out because of a conflict or schedule change is not what I am getting at here; I am both admitting & complaining – but when a meeting is cancelled or rescheduled at the last minute it sends a message

this phenomena spills to inter-personal events where I think it impacts feelings more readily; mine & others

‘zero to 60 in ten seconds’ a phrase we all know relates to acceleration from a standing stop

a new one: from ‘likely’ to zero in 10 seconds

my phone rang, a short conversation later a meeting was ‘not going to happen today’

‘from likely to zero in less than 10 seconds’

oh it will be rescheduled of course as these things often are, but when we really want something to happen we make it a priority – when we don’t, we reschedule or cancel via the rescheduling technique; when something really matters, we plan accordingly & show up - when we don’t, we reschedule

I am really ready . . trash bags in hand, my challenge today is to create some havoc out of all this order; oops, other way ‘round . . in essence to treat everything on my agenda as critical to do before I take a holiday, critical to do after my holiday & that which should be trashed altogether

I was planning to do some errands, shopping & to meet LS for coffee this afternoon, but then the phone rang; from likely to zero in less than 10 seconds - she called to reschedule . . no, actually to schedule a day to talk at which time the rescheduling might take place; whether she has a bigger fish on the other line, unexpected guests as was the story or not matters little

blue eyes sang: regrets, I’ve had a few . . but then again too few to mention

worth aspiring to methinks, as our actions are more significant indicators of our truth than words almost all the time

Mark

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I'm happy to say that I'm still with "my man" after three months, and I hope for many more. Merry Christmas Mark, and I wish you all the happiness in the world in 2006. I hope you'll continue with your musings for many more years. Take care!, TJ

. . .

As we approach that most busy of weeks I thought I would take the opportunity now before I run out of time to wish all my fellow musers a very happy Christmas and a healthy and prosperous 2006. best wishes, DR

. . .

Mark: Without sounding like I'm jumping on the band wagon, your musings are a welcome part of my days. I've shared some of your thoughts with friends and colleagues and look forward to more of them in your next chapter. It is my opinion that any smile makes great cheekbones and no matter how great the cheekbones, the smile can only be beautiful if it exists.... or something like that. Well, we're ready for the cross country trek to Cowtown tomorrow .... even managed to scrounge up two tickets to the Flames/Bruins game -- good old Hockey Night in Canada .. can't wait. I can see it already, good hockey, expensive mood altering beer (what's in that beer anyways that makes me feel retarded even after just one plastic pint?) .. and, course, being there with my wife who grew up in St. Louis and is quickly becoming the Flames fan that will keep her Christmas goodie bags filled. If you haven't heard, we received 6" of measured rainfall the other day (in Houston)... wacky weather everywhere. Looking forward to exchanging my rubber boots for my snow boots. Now, back to packing, dropping the hound off at the kennel and maybe enjoying a quick pint or two before the flights abound tomorrow. Mark, Merry X-Mas. Keep the musings coming. Joe T. from Houston

. . .

Hi Mark. Yes, the majority of us are silent - and strangers, too, as we haven't met. However, somehow there has been a connection, and that means something. Congrats on your 1000! LS

-14C/7F, calm clear crisp & frosty; we walked & returned before sunrise – oddly eerie this short days as the city begins its day with a moon watching in the west while the sun has yet to wake up; Gusta seems happy to be sniffing familiar trails

belated b-day greetings[yesterday] to TJ & BP, may your dash be extended; live long & prosper

my day in Edmonton full, fun & exhausting . . lunch with Carla & getting my proposal in on time were highlights of the day + always cool to bump in to people around town & at stop lights too [hi RT] & then a weary uneventful drive home catching up on calls

sleep took over

my adrenaline high subsided now

there is a new chapter beginning

2 weeks to end the year, 2 weeks to clear the deck, sweep away that which does not really matter – to go hard on those that do, then . . . a new course, not a new year, but a new chapter

sometimes things that don’t rate the ‘serendipitous’ moniker certainly make me smile that way

maybe I should get a coach or find a personal trainer - I wonder if I need one of those ?

hhmmm

sometimes we can change the world

sometimes

I’ve been wondering, is it great cheekbones or smiles that get my attention most; or do great smiles make ordinary cheekbones look great ?

cleary this is one of the great questions of life – comments invited from men only please !

Mark

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Hi Mark, Just wanted to be the first (or not) to wish you a happy 1001st day of musing. You have provided a powerful medium, allowing so many people the opportunity to connect...not just with you but with each other. And, therein lies one of your greatest gifts. May there be many more "thousand" milestones, all taken one step at a time., LR(B)

. . .

Mark - I agree exactly with BM - I will be in a rush in this manic world I work in and am occasionally tempted to just delete for the day, but I can't bring myself to do it - I might miss something - and I am right - I would have. When I come in on Tuesdays (I don' work Monday) there are 3 for me to read ~ and I always do. Thank you for continuing - I also don't have any idea who put me on the list, how I started receiving your thoughts, but occasionally I will respond with a note here or there - but most of the time, I just digest and enjoy! LBK

. . .

Mark, In case you are wondering why I don't write more often . . . if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. Congrats! KK

. . .
Hello Mark! I was thrilled to see the amazing responses to yesterday's musings. You truly deserve the acknowledgements and comments. Re: Silence from (or notfrom... how would we know?) so many subscribers and quoting a line from a song by Jack Johnson that goes something like this... "Silence speaks very loudly"... There are so many that truly enjoy your soul's thoughts... silently. In short, it was wonderful to hear from some of your 'silent' strangers/friends. Mark, I have been on your list of strangers for a long time. It is time to meet in person and my wish would be to be - one of your friends. Many blessings to you and to all of your virtual friends during this magical time of year! LS :-)

. . .

Congratulations, Mark on "batting 1000" - a most significant accomplishment. I, too, read, enjoy, digest, but never respond. Just because you don't hear from us doesn't mean your sage wisdom, advice, insight, and humour aren't appreciated. Maybe you could cheer everyone with a Christmas picture of Gusta? BR

[sent from internet café, Jasper Ave & 112 St. in Edmonton]

-13C in north Edmonton this morning, Gusta found north Edmonton rabbits interesting; sky clear with a huge moon at the top of the night sky; mild weather for here this time of year, but frosty compared to recent days in Calgary

tis the season for ‘seasoned greetings’; buying a paper this morning I saw Sonny M – a reminder that a 2 block walk in Edmonton produces multiple encounters with people I know or recognize, while 2 hours in downtown Calgary produces sore feet

I had a good, albeit short visit with MM last night; love the soft water + got time to have an infamous Eva massage last night – I’m ready for anything the day brings my adrenaline level is subsiding a little; some housekeeping items on ‘the big proposal’ before delivery here today, then I am headed home . . . not enough time to see so many people . . next time !

on CBC radio last night – a group of women commenting on a book of compiled essays by men [their husbands were some of they essayists] . .I found it interesting, given recent experiences, that they commented about how much they enjoyed the insights and ‘typical self-indulgence’; I was offended ! on behalf of the male species I must protest this injustice

men are not self-indulgent as a group/class any more than women are not; the discussion was amusing though, but I gathered their view [gawd, women writers speaking with one voice!] seemed to be that women can be serious writers while their view is that men can be humourous writers with moments of serious clarity

seriously, I am serious

seriously, I am not funny

I’d like to be funny, too often I mistake telling an old bad joke for a funny-bone moment

I’d like to be serious, but a rogue sense of bad-joke-itis invades, remnant of juvenile insecure behaviour I’ve been unable to restrain for the last 40 years, but I think I am making progress

seriously

I think men want to be taken seriously by women, but often we try to inject humour [lame attempt at empathy]
there, CBC & Edmonton weather conspire to make me serious

really

Mark
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As one of the "silent majority" you need not fear that we are ignoring you. We are out here reading, pondering and being affected by all your musings, JB

. . .
For me, it's like meeting a friend for coffee each morning. I've become used to that few minutes of time in the morning -- having my first coffee, reading the musing of the day -- even though I don't respond often and even when I don't agree with your take on something (generally when I do respond). I think I'd miss it! Kudos on your commitment to stick with this daily., CC

. . .

Morning Mark, Congratulations on the BIG 1000!!!!!!!!!! I do enjoy your musings and it seems especially more enjoyable, while on the road, to have this come from "home". Have a Very Merry Christmas and when the house is finished we will be having you over in 06. Sincerest Best Wishes for a Great 06, JJ

. . .

Congratulations on 1000 days of musing and looking forward to many more. I am not sure how I got on the musing list and initially I skipped it because I didn't have the time. Then one day, I started reading and I was hooked! Like a good cup of coffee your ideas, words, and perspective wake up my brain on a daily basis. Now I try and make time to read regularly. Thanks Mark,NV

. . .

Hi Mark, Not sure how I got on your list, but I thank you. Congrats on #1000!! I am one of the 4529 'strangers' and I guess I am only responding to you today ona bit of a selfish note. I moving away from Calgary to Beautiful BC but would like to continue to receive your musings (new email is below). I would like to say that even though I haven't responded before, I really appreciate your musings and would like to let you know that in many instances they have helped me get through the day. Thank you. Again, congrats on #1000 and 19 years! Both are amazing accomplishments! Best, MR

. . .

Mark, not quite a stranger, not quite a friend but mostly not a foe, usually quietly enjoying your thoughts and I appreciate the insight and hear in them. Congratulations on 1000, AW

. . .
Wow, 1000 musings - can't think of anything I've done that consistently in my life. I'm a hit and miss reader, but do enjoy knowing you're there, CL

. . .

Congratulations Mark, I am a newbie (only about 300). Here's to the nextmillennium!, CB

. . .

Hi Mark, Someone said 'Friends are just strangers you haven't met yet'. When are you going to start musing politically ? I think you should start providing a barometer of public sentiment (I don't know how maybe just from polling data) as we lead up to election day. What do you think about western alienation ? What do you think about the Gomery inquiry and would it affect how you vote ? Have a great day, RC

. . .
Congratulations on 1000 days of musing!!! I am one of the 4529 strangers who shyly anticipates your words each day and never responds. I find that enormity of what you have accomplished with your musings remarkable. To be able to touch 4529 people each day, to have them anticipate your words each morning; it is inspirational. Please keep them coming because I will certainly be waiting. CS

. . .

Mark: Congrats on your recent milestones. I am changing careers (again) and need to be removed from the mailing list until next year. Have a great holiday!, RH

. . .

Thanks for the effort you put behind the musings. I am often tempted when in a rush to just hit delete but then I pause and read first. I can't take the chance that I will miss a special thought or insight that you often provide or provoke. Regards, BM

. . .

Happy 1,000 musings, Mark! I am one of your "mainly" silent audience and wish I had the time to digest all that you write...the deep, the obscure, the brevity and the joy. I do try...I will be leaving Florida for Ontario and holidays with my family, this year...and to celebrate the 50th anniversary of our parents. I am sure glad I have all those sisters up there to share warm jackets, mitts and hats! I'm counting down the days...Best wishes to you, Gusta and all your family & "musing" friends...Happy 2006!, LH

. . .
Mark, Congratulations on your 1000th musing. Thanks to whoever included me within your circle of friends, I feel honoured and blessed to read your musings every day. I am one of the people who communicate with a note once in a while. Keep up the good work - we all love you, IS

. . .
Pls kindly remove me from your list. Great articles, but don't have time to review. Very sorry. See you soon at up coming events., PK

. . .

A Musers' Golf Get-away - what a great idea, CCC!, AW

. . .

First time writer, long time reader, thought this as good a time as any to drop a line.Hello (for the first time), thanks (for sharing) and congrats ( on the 1000th), PRF

a twilight start, -5C/23F, crisp clear sky with a full moon low on west horizon, coming home to a sun-just-about rising

To my 4529 musing friends – mostly strangers I’ve never met who never write so I should call you 4529 strangers; among you there are many dear friends, foes, pals, conquests, failed-to-get-it-right near misses at nirvana & colleagues

among you are many who enjoy words as I do, ones who communicate with a note once in a while, a phone call or a wink/nod when we meet up somewhere; it doesn’t matter what or where, it doesn’t matter how close or far . . thank you !

today is the 1000th day of musing, a day not unlike any other, but worth noting I think:
To: Carla who started me on this . . thanks !
To: the original 8 who kept me going those first months & thanks PI & KM for your notes
To: the 220 in our little community at the end of the first year . . . wow & thanks
To: the 4528 of you this morning . . . thank you being my audience

these last 1000 days countless hundreds have come & gone, I don’t keep track that frequently as the total ebbs & flows; I checked this morning to see 4528 on the list . but if I add JM – just did – that makes 4529

some strangers write nice things, some write cranky things, most are silent most of the time

the silent majority factor used to bother me; but then I would have an isolated comment on the street, at a function or standing in line at an event when some guy reading my name tag would say to his wife, ‘honey come over here – meet that musing guy’ who sends stuff to us every morning

yoke off my neck, ‘big project’ fully sent to print & then I’m off on a whirlwind trip to Edmonton this evening - time to catch up on calls & things domestic . . back tomorrow morning

I’ve never been so focused as this past couple of weeks, a couple of things have slipped through the cracks, but not much + 2 new clients to connect with today

Mark

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Mark - phenomenal! 1,000 musings and I've read every one of them (I think I'm one of your original 8). You probably have now earned yourself a place in the Guinness Book of Records. Here's to the next 1000 musings. And the next..... Thank you for being such a people person. Love Pam xxx, PI

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Hey Mark .. You forgot to call me Monday about a 'Getaway Golf ' trip. Maybe we should check with all your musers and see if there are others interested in doing the same thing and we could start an 'Annual Muser Golf Getaway' I think that would be great fun. Some destinations I have in mind .. Phoenix, Tuscon, S. California , The Carolinas , St. George, Utah and of course Florida. I know you are busy .. I read that every day so I'll wait for your call but if I do see something very enticing I'll let you know. Take care ... CCC (Ms. Travel Agent)

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Mark, still enjoying your musings though not always time to read every day. Being away from Chinook country for so many years, I enjoy the weather report ;-) Also, had a wonderful outbreak of laughter at a typo in today's musings where AK Ithink meant "lawlessness" but wrote "lawnessness". So in my Zen-master humor I thought of all the rogue lawns I have ever known and how they still attack and demand attention, especially on the wet coast. Anyway, all the best for 2006!, JD

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Mark, When I read your email today it was like watching the Ball in Times Square, the countdown to see the numbers roll over. The feeling must be grand and knowing that so many of us are still sharing the moment with you. I continue to read you everyday, I have shared your daily musings with others this year that were going through some rough periods and your words and thoughts have brought a calm to their otherwise confused and hectic lives. Over the past year I have enjoyed you being a part of my daily life, making me look at things in another perspective at times and other times just sharing your ramblings. I look at the daily musings as my retreat from the hectic pace of the business world where I can stop and change my focus and thoughts before I have to return to the task at hand. I admire your perseverance in communicating every single day. Now that we are getting closer to the end of another year and I want to say Thank you for opening up your world and sharing it each day with all of us out here. One of the original 8., KM

overcast -2C / 29F, chilly north wind pushed the Chinook away, dog unusually active & running hard, collar up, head down . . break out the mittens

with 998 musings behind be, the impact of tomorrow looms, I am like a kid watching the odometer crawling to roll over a series of 9’s to a series . . zeros . .

I’ve never read enough about bio-feedback to have 2 clues to rub together, but I know what is keeping me going this week . . . pure adrenaline; in this world of pedometers & gadgets I wonder if anyone has invented a tool to measure adrenaline - it would be nice to measure that rise & fall each time I get a ‘great call’, clever paragraph, new twist on an old idea

this frenetic stuff is subsiding, calmer now, normalcy returns tomorrow after 1 last night of editing

I took a break last evening, met a ‘no-potential for me nice person’; the break was good, but two people who start off feeling like sandpaper should avoid each other . . next !

last night, another late night - another ream of paper – late coffee morphs into early morning printer hum, blurry vision

papers pile, dishes pile, laundry piles, errand notes pile – quick . . give me red meat

kk, my daughter Krista, called last night – much going on her busy life, calmer now, normalcy returns for a while now after a frenetic high emotion period of whirling dervishes & stuff

where did she get that ?

Mark

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Once again you voiced my thoughts. You know my circumstances, I have that guy in my life, but why do I continue to carry on ..."thought bubble"...... I have often thought over the past few months that if I can't find the melange of characteristics that would float my boat, perhaps, what we are doing is the way to go ...... mmmmm?????, DL

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Well, hello Mark. Wow, another year whips past... the hair goes greyer and thinner, the belly gets bigger, the wrinkles grow deeper... sigh. But, life is great !! Always looking forward to coming home (Houston to Calgary) for our annual Christmas family get together and daily egg nogs celebrated with friends and business acquaintenances the week prior. What an absolute gas. There's nothing like tipping a few with old friends boasting ambitious plans for the upcoming year, sports predictions, income exaggerations and other testosterone driven jocularities. And, of course, coming home to hockey ... real hockey., On behalf of us transplanted Canuckleheads in Houston, wherever we spend Christmas this year, happy holidays to everyone and best wishes for 2006 !! It should be dandy !! Joe, JT

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Mark; too much to do and no time to read your musings. I like them but again; no time. Please take me off your e-mail list. I have bookmarked the Blog page, BT

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‘….strength and typical of lawnessness and the power of force. From this we get both "titanesque" and "titanic", HM ‘ . . Hmmmmm....a certain superpower comes to mind. Thanks to HM for this bit of knowledge, AK

6C /43F, temperatures vacillate as pre-sunrise painted low clouds on horizon stretch from as far as one can see north and south; spritely steps through the park felt great given my sleep deprivation

like the view from the shore my horizon, as far as I can see; my dreams are the ship, where shall I sail ? what to choose; uncharted waters, swift currents [Sask. joke there], or safe harbours ? my love of ocean stems from standing firmly on shore, though tacking through wind seems such a wonderful metaphor for recent events, I’m making headway ‘against the flow’

his 91 yr. old brother had a heart attack & his condition does not sound promising; youngest of 12 my dad has seen most of his siblings slip away

he & 3 remain; he and Paul have not been close since boyhood, but I don’t think that matters much now

I have no knowledge of feelings for brothers or sisters, having none, I wonder what that is like

inspiration found me yesterday, finding words, mellow firm ones that flow from the tongue like water over falls after so many edited ones flew from my desk, never reaching the floor . . gone to a cyber-word junk pail somewhere, never to be heard from again; ‘again, half as long’ & many thanks to pal KK for such disciplined example, I realized last night I’ve become a much better editor

a highly productive weekend sets tone for busy few ahead & trip to Edmonton later this week

Mark
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I do continue appreciate the daily glimpse into your life, thoughts, feelings.Overcome with curiosity, I ask: What does the 6 digit number below your namemean? CAS, Maine

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Hi Mark, Thought I'd drop you a quick line and catch you up on So. Cal. News; It's a puffy cloud-studded, 68*F here today. No rain predicted but the cooler temps are a welcome contrast to the usual 75*+. One more week of school for me, then off for two and a half weeks! Mark doesn't finish until 12/22 so I'll have a week to shop and rest up before the onslaught of relatives and traveling. My step-grandmother is in the dying throes of...dying. She had a massive stroke before Thanksgiving and has been off food and water since then. Just refuses to die...kinda' like a cockroach. And yes, I mean that. She was an ornery, cantankerous old biddy for the last 20 years of her life. When she finally succumbs, it'll be a relief for all of us. Mark has big plans for my birthday, which he refuses to divulge. And he KNOWS how crazy surprises make me! Remember, I'm the girl who opened every one of my Christmas gifts before the big day then carefully rewrapped them so no one would know. I still do it. To this day. Which is exactly why he's holding out. When we went to AZ for Thanksgiving, my mom slipped me a birthday gift before we left and admonished me not to open it until 12/23. Ha! Dad says, "Let her open it now, Pat. You know she'll have it unwrapped before she gets to the stop sign at the end of the block anyway." Daddy knows his little girl... And as for Daddies and little girls, I'm moving into the 29th week of my pregnancy. Eleven weeks to go! All's still very well. Baby Delaney is growing longer and stronger. A full night's sleep is a thing of the past as she insists on kicking and turning in the middle of it. We're readying the third bedroom for her; Mark is putting up the crib as I type. (Remind me to order future bicycles already assembled...) He's been great through it all. I couldn't ask for a more attentive, involved, patient, loving partner. I stopped by his school after a brief dr. appt. last week and happened to glance at his desk calendar. He's crossing out days with a pink highlighter. When I asked him what that was all about, he said that he's counting down the days... Hope things are good for you too, though I detect a melancholy tone in your musings lately. Are you OK? If I don't talk to you before it, have a wonderful, merry Christmas, Mark. And a joyous New Year! kisses and hugs, LR

4C/39F, mild & sunny, snow mostly gone; my mind on project du jour, I scarcely noticed the scenery as we walked this morning . . calm & restful though

a clever phrase, an extra ounce of effort, a gallon of sweat, a fresh idea - what makes REAL difference? I’ve worked on home-run successes before, most memorable worthy ones involving education facility projects where helping kids succeed was the raison d’etre

it was the reason, it was the reward

project proposals litter my shelves, a mix of win & lose, product of weeks littered with all-nighters only to finish way too far back in the pack to matter - or in the final 3

final home stretch writing/editing wrestle, 1 more day till printing; it weighs heavily

huge win or disappointing ‘though worthy’ effort awaits

for me . . another win or near miss . .

but for a town seeking to alter its future by winning this project – more than a contest to win, place or show

to win makes the future change; failure, not an option

sleepy little town in inevitable decline, the future ordinary; or profoundly changed future, affecting unborn children of unborn children

my task - coordination, orchestration, writing, presentation, argument . . a task for a fee

more than play spin-doctor with good material I need to capture the dream, paint the picture, tug at hearts while proving my case with facts & argument

facts are good, arguments are better . . . then there is politics . . always a variable one cannot control

if I write well we win

a town will see its landscape change, opportunities of a community for generations altered - I’ve been working on this for two months, but the magnitude of it just hit me - more than I imagined

ink on paper is easy, impression on a mind . . . harder

To LE: random acts connect people, the words of one person may impact the world of someone else – you know what an impact one person’s energy can have on another; may you get a slice of humanity sent your way; may you send some of yours to us too once in a while

Mark

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Mark, the responses to your musings that I've read lately reflect what I mean when I've said that I'm MOST interested in the responses ... to see how your musings touch others, move and inspire others, even when you irritate or challenge others ... what a very special experience and opportunity for you ... and for those reading. Settle? Are you looking for Ms. Right or Ms. Right Now? If you're looking for Ms. Right, DON'T settle. Go for 100% of what you're looking for and accept 80% of what you want as long as the remaining 20% doesn't include any of your "no go" items. In the meantime, if Ms. Right Now knows that's what she is, why not? The risk? You may be spending time with Ms. Right Now when you could be using that time to find Ms. Right. And then again, Ms. Right Now could turn out to be Ms. Right ... DAAM

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Is there a reason why you send this stuff to me every day?, LE

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A Belated Happy Anniversary to you, Mark. Can you look behind you and see the tracks that you and your "19 year-old shoes" have made? What a wonderful feeling. Congrats and Kudos to you and a wet puppy kiss to Gusta. *lol* Sorry, I get a little carried away. My hubby and I celebrated 15 years of Marriage on that day. Went to Disney Land on Saturday, the 10th, for a company luncheon which was good but the rest of the day, what a nightmare! I thought it was the whole population of California coming to celebrate Disney's 50 Golden years. But I did meet a couple from Australia, which I felt was the high point of the day, so nice! I loved how they said, "We're from Down Unda." I wonder what accent they heard from me? She was asking all the questions then stopped with an apology, I smiled and gave her a real warm hug and said no offense taken, welcome to America. There were groups from all walks of life there: Japanese students, India Indians, A (Burka?)-clad woman walking IN FRONT of her man, so cool! My husband mentioned on the way home that it would have been a good place for terrorists to hit. I shudder at the thought. Anyway, change is happening all around us, whether we see it, much less notice it, or not. If we wish change for the better, so be it. And if a change needs to take place (I often have my heels dug into the ground on this) nature will take its course. Then I wonder, when that change happens and it wasn't bad, what was I fussing about? Anyway, I hope that this change has been kind to, and I hope that you are happy and glowing with accomplishment. Your shipmate,A.L.P.

breezy, overcast, 7C/45F, spring-morning-esque; Gusta finds every obscure remaining mini-drift suitable for diving; I feel more relaxed than in many weeks . . we walked further than usual

feeling better in part from a great sleep, in part from cathartic stuff going on; some of it emanates from my speech the other night at Toastmasters, connections made in the moment, conversations afterward – of lessons learned deserving exploration

other thoughts invade . . . influenced in part by ‘it’s December – avoid being gloomy at all costs’ stuff’

this season of societal influences on happiness, joy & fulfillment has me wondering if settling for something ‘acceptable’ is a better short term course than the one I’ve chosen

in my work a time-worn thing to do this time of year; to review the year’s business, predict/budget for the coming year & develop a plan for measurable achievable goals

I have wonderful benchmarks – women of high quality [SC & KT my top of mind examples] where connections transcend the ordinary, the trivial, the superficial; experiences of intellectual curiosity blending humour, sensuality & purpose in life . . . a giving/getting equation of reciprocity built more on giving/giving with the getting simply a by-product of the joy, an unbreakable connection of loving on a deep level

I am a smart guy; I should be able to define a set of parameters: max/min levels of points per category, demonstrations of qualities to float my boat

why then, can I not do the same in my pursuit of a ‘woman companion lover friend pal buddy collaborator co-traveler golfer laugh-mate play-mate soul-mate ? I clearly have all of these elements in my life, a composite of many people who play different roles in my life, I in turn play a some role[s] in theirs?

‘I want it all’ , a phrase most are familiar with; I do ‘have it all’ which might be the better course because the joy brought to my life has bits & pieces of this person or that person in it; though some people come & go in our lives, some stay there . . forever and always, in all ways . . with no legal issues, property rights or asset divisions ever looming

I had a discussion with DL about the women in my life; she wondered if I would be comfortable meeting a woman who had a collection of men in her life comparable to the collection of female friends I carry around in my rolodex; maybe that is an obstacle in the minds of some – I find it a great joy I’d wish on anyone !

JT in Costa Rica or KN departing Maui golf/Little Beach adventure bound have me itching to swing a club . . . get some sun & play

for today, I’ll stick to my pile-o’-work & maybe take a break to visit the market or catch a movie

project goals = work days left in 2005; is that reality or my rationalization ? I may be deluding myself, but for now I’ll cling to it

. . but come Monday, I think I’ll call my golf gods advisor [CC the travel agent] for guidance on how to make winter shorter on a modest budget; I’m thinking Feb/Mar . . or I could just go to Osoyoos in Jan. . . . or Bandon Dunes in April . . or Phoenix in Jan.. . too many options to think about now

have a great weekend

Mark

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Hi Mark. Took the time last night to read all of the "Musings" that came while I was indulging in the flu. Never again will I question do you have many "you's", all doubt has been removed. Congrats on the nineteen years, is not a road I have ever had to walk but have spent many years working with young people who have had one or more addictions and know that it is a tough journey but one well worth it. Bent grass and sand ,remote controls and a woman to capture your heart...quite the mix. Can offer sweet grass, the love of sand and sea and a TV with no remote control, and the willingness to share West Wing(is my fave show..guess it reminds me of the days of camelot and my love for politics) as to the capture of your heart..hmm that depends on many things. Have a good weekend Mark..take care, SN

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To answer AK's questions: "We all know that the word "Titanic" means big. But did it mean big prior to the Titanic shipping disaster? Is there a prior meaning for the word?" Yes, it did and there is! The word "titanic" refers to a person of superhuman size, strength or intellect. It stems from Greek mythology which believed the Titans were children of Uranus and Gaea of enormous size and strength and typical of lawnessness and the power of force. From this we get both "titanesque" and "titanic", HM

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Happy Birthday. Sober is most awesome and empowering, AL

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To everyone counting their days of sobriety, I say HATS OFF to YOU! I am the daughter of an alcoholic and I know how much my life changed when my Dad became a Recovering Alcoholic. Everything comes at a price, but the payoff for sobriety is HUGE for yourself and everyone that loves you!!!! , TD

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Mark - I am flattered that you feel my theory about men's dating mirroring men's television watching seems to have some basis in truth. Soooo – are there any men out there who would find me interesting enough to stop channel-surfing?? AW

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Hi Mark, You mention warm weather, bent grass. Arnold Palmer signature golf course at the Four Seasons in Costa Rica, paradise! Went out the other day at noon, nobody on course, went around in 3.5 hours, too fast for such a beautiful setting!, Seasons Greetings!, JT

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Hey Kolke....my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...... Have a great Christmas and a successful New Year and I'll see you in Feb., KN

5C /41F, strong Chinook winds blew all night, abating now as slushy snow & grime is everywhere, Gusta burrows under every remaining mini-drift she can find, oblivious to the change - I like the warm, but I like pristine white too . . seems I cannot have it both ways

a break of warm weather has my mind in a warmer place with palm trees & bent grass greens, my body is here but my heart is visiting a sandy place, a slower pace & wearing a tan

by george, she’s got it: if her theory holds true, I should find a woman who holds my interest as strongly as West Wing holds my interest; AW says that men [in respect to staying interested in women] are much like men[in respect to the remote control]; they want to know what is on, while at the same time they want to know what else is on

I’m headed down the home-stretch on a project, though the debris of paper spread around this place would likely not convince anyone; it will be great in a few days when each walk, each trip, each meeting does not leave me with the fervent need to rush home to my grindstone

I need some playtime . . . hopefully I’ll squeeze some in this weekend, but not much time available . . seems I cannot have it both ways

now, if I could just find a comely non-smoking, golfing West Wing fan, who lives in my postal code . . . or maybe I should shop first for a postal code with bent-grass greens & palm trees ??

quick, where’s the remote ?

Mark

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Congrats on the Sobriety. Hey, I have a thought/muse for you. We all know that the word "Titanic" means big. But did it mean big prior to the Titanic shipping disaster? Is there a prior meaning for the word? Have a great day, AK

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Sandra in CDA, Idaho...I almost skipped reading your musing today, but your celebration of sobriety really grabbed me! I had nineteen days, not years, of sobriety, and then blew it on a first date with a new guy, because I didn't have the confidence to decline a drink. Then I just went on a self destructive binge for another day. Today, is day three of sobriety, again, and for those who are not alcoholic, they think, "what's the big deal?" We know in our heart, it IS a big deal, and are thankful for reclaiming our life to be everything wonderful we were meant to be. I celebrate with you, and you are inspiring!!, SW

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Mark, Thank you thank you thank you!!! [for the Dec. 7, 2004 ‘not today’ musing] That's it! I want to give my daughter today a gift of her mother not being in the fog residue from the night before! I will keep this musing and remember why I need to get through this day, saying "not today". This makes sense. I have a rebellious nature, which is sometimes a gift, but the insanity of it is, if I project my self into the future, and tried to imagine NEVER having a drink again as long as I lived amen....I would rebel against that constraint. But, if I keep just this day of choice, that seems manageable! Not Today, is a free will choice which is clean from the past, or future. It's now! We never know what seeds take root in a small bit of wisdom crossing our consciousness!! Gratefully, Sandra, SW
PS....I'm going to print out your past musing from a year ago, and put it in my Big Book, which was presented to me at the annual gratitude banquet, for the person with the 'least' days of sobriety, on the evening of my first day at an AA meeting!

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Way to go, Mark. 19 years, and you sound very grateful for your sobriety. I have been a friend of Bill's for 31 years - the same way you have - one day at a time. Bless you - and many more. LBK, PalmDesert

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