Musing

You said: "allow a disruption to send you in a new direction – don’t predict which disruption, don’t pick when, don’t have an expectation of where it will take you, don’t resist where it takes you" Now for me, THAT'S going with the Flow! Isn't it interesting how a Word can bring up such different feelings? You had once said that you don't like Going with the Flow...that it's like following the pack. Yet for me Going with the Flow is allowing the disruption to take you in new and exciting directions of growth and expansion. I had a long discussion with a great friend about Words, and how some mean totally different things for us. I love having these conversations with her because she doesn't tell me (and I don't tell her) that my (or her) interpretation of the word is right or wrong. Because it's exactly right for us...our truth. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Mark. I really enjoy hearing them., VG

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Really enjoyed today's musings- sent it to another friend and phoned one up to read it to her and get her off her duff - she liked it but I don't think the duff will be moving - if they ever do an EEG on you I think the readings would be off the scale from a brain that's constantly in gear at a higher rate than most of us. Have a great day, TK

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I am embracing disruption! Cheers for the day., GD

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Hi Mark, Quick note, kinda busy at work,,but when put in your words,,seems to me business is done in Mexico by disruption, or rather a series of them....lol.... Slow to get much done,,but then everyone says, that's Mexico. Also just wanted to say,,, guide me thru the click on to reply,, cuz I'm just not gettin'it. Thanx for help and my daily touch with real Canadian issues on life., TA

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Although I suspect you are practising your motivational speech on us, I must respond. What a great wonderful message today Mark! Very uplifting and inspirational. In my work, I have constant disruptions - normal. The abnormal 'disruptions' (which I call extreme challenges), I begrudge at first encounter. But I have found, many times, with the right attitude, these challenges turn into wonderfully rewarding experiences. Sometimes I get a tremendous boost of confidence in myself or sometimes a euphoric sense of well being for having served my fellow man better. mmmmmmm... I like that romp after dinner idea. Thanks for the great thoughts today. Will look at those challenges differently now. :), SM

8C, clear & crisp with lots of deep grass dew soaked Gusta’s coat; morning mosquitoes abating a little or maybe they overslept

caffeine deprived, some mornings my walk is a mindless wakeup exercise, but not today

today I needed a tape recorder & pad & pen

learning how to do things differently is my daily challenge; I rely more on routine than innovation, more on ‘how I do things’ than exploring new ones

I love it when I do, often surprising myself more than others with the results; but I resist those disruptions, the creative opportunity that goes with the fleeting thought, the email or phone call or sentence just read . . . . or writ . .

my life, built around so many routines, is an eclectic mixture of compensating devices for the erratic pace of activity, results & opportunities that are de-rigueur in my line of work

when those routines are disrupted by things outside ‘the normal type of disruptions’ [which would make them normal & routine I suppose] I find it disconcerting – at least in the moment – for a moment or two – then the ‘unexpected thing’ has a slight chance to produce learning, thought, new experience, growth

learning, thought, new experience, growth – what a concept !

but rarely, I think

more often than not, I let the opportunity & learning in that idea, that moment, that disruption get away . . . never to be seen or heard from again

more often I tend to deal with that anomaly – treat it as ‘anomaly’, dispensing with it as quickly as I can so I can return to our ‘normal’ way of things

the way of things . . . or rather, accepting things as they are, is certainly indicative of how I raised . . . or maybe it was more a product of the times in which I was raised

disruption, disruptive technologies, disrupting business practices – these are terms we hear bandied about all the time because they are ‘out there’ near the leading edge, or as some would say, the bleeding edge – but this is where the great new things, the fresh ideas and the totally new ways of doing things, the cool new products where we all say ‘why didn’t I think of that, it makes so much sense?’

disruption – in the moment – can be harsh; but growth, interesting ideas, successful ventures ALL need some of that . . .

maybe it is just me ? . . I know I need that

mark’s advice du jour:

allow a disruption to send you in a new direction – don’t predict which disruption, don’t pick when, don’t have an expectation of where it will take you, don’t resist where it takes you

. . . . why not take this opportunity with THE VERY NEXT DISRUPTION that comes your way; stop, be calm, avoid reacting, set aside all other thought for a minute to focus on the disruption – observe where the disruption might take you; if one path, then follow, if several, just pick one

can you wait to see what happens when you embrace your disruption today ?

I expect my first one any moment now – each day there are many; c’mon, go ahead, try it

be prepared to experience a change in where you are headed – perhaps a life altering change – go ahead, it is your day to live so live it with a sparkle in your eye; OK, so maybe it will only be something that alters your morning, but just think – it could be something that alters your life

if you can, have an after dinner romp – then you will have a sparkle in your eye tomorrow too

go ahead, disrupt my day ! . . . are you feeling lucky ?

Mark
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Interesting, I keep telling Harper (my black lab) that he cannot catch a bird until he learns to fly. Somehow that doesn't stop him from trying! Hugs AW

crisp & sunny 5C this morning; we walked the path across the round around the ‘pond’ a.k.a. stormwater lake – Gusta can outrun the shorebirds but just cannot get her landing gear tucked in quickly enough

our vantage point allowed a view of hot air balloons flying across a panorama of downtown’s tallest buildings set against a pale blue cloudless sky – a sight to energize me

despite 4 hours sleep I still have lots left I found lots of energy yesterday

I read somewhere that energy is a product of desire & purpose

if success in a venture, in life, in relationships is a product of well channeled focused energy, then creating that success must be also predicated upon desire & purpose

I think I’ll do that today; energy = desire + purpose . . . I wonder how Einstein would write such a theory ?

I’ll be thinking about that through this morning’s meetings & calls

to TC: Tim, I have no idea how you found your way to my list . . . it might have been an address I captured in my work or one that someone sent me; frankly it is just too much trouble to keep a record let alone keep track – people come, people go – the message for me is that the list keeps growing because people like you take a moment to stop, read & think . . if only for a minute

desire & purpose . . go get ‘em !

Mark

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Hi Mark, I went to see Must Love Dogs last night too - and obviously my expectations were different to yours. I was expecting to be entertained for an hour and a half or so, specifically to have a few laughs and enjoy a movie that was NOT full of death, destruction, bad language and general horror and nastiness. (I get enough of that from reading the Calgary Herald each day, together with a bonus annoyance of continual mis-spelled words and poor grammar) But I digress. I was hoping that the movie would be a light enjoyable comedy, a small diversion from the cares and woes, and it was a great success! Some nice acting, lots of funny lines, and a complete absence of deep meanings and hidden messages to mull over and consider later.When all said and done, it's just a movie, but I enjoyed it - and I don't even have a dog!Hope you and your furry chick magnet are having a great weekend! All the very best, ND

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Mark - please could you explain how I got onto your list?, TC

a perfect day; 9C, overcast, gloomy & drizzling wonderfully with risk of thunderstorms, perfect day for hunkering down . . read, vacuum, write write write

a perfect day to bathe my soggy dog, perfect day for working without the stress of being torn between urges a leisurely walk in the park or on the links or a picnic or just urges, a perfect day for drinking coffee, a perfect day for staring out windows, a perfect day for writing about sunshine & laughter

what if Shakespeare had Microsoft word, spell check & online thesaurus tools, what if Mozart had a synthesizer & electronic keyboard, what if Socrates had an overhead projector and power point, what if the Trojans had night-vision goggles [noted: urge to make joke about condoms that can see in the dark] ?

in my much younger days in shoe retailing, each season I would marvel at the innovation, the design & styling details, the new heels toes & trimmings – only to learn in the ensuing 35 years that little if anything is new, but simply recycled proven engineering & design with seasonings offered by a new generation seeing these things for the first time

I saw a movie last night on internet dating called ‘Must Have Dogs’; what a treat it would have been if the writer, director, producer or actors had ever ACTUALLY DONE ANY internet dating; instead it was a mix of Hollywood recycled cliché, a few good lines & pretty actors should supposedly make it work; chick flick – yes; worthy of seeing twice or winning an award nomination – no !

we get to be so smart today without trying very hard, we just need to Google with the most bizarre combination of words to have a wealth of data delivered to our screen in seconds

movie & pizza with CM last night; movie [see above] was OK as was the company & the pizza was great [Sandro’s] as always !

the more I read about writers’ writing methods, the more I read about the lives of people whose writing ambitions were shot down & sidetracked; I read a gem in the New York Times this morning, Maureen Dowd’s piece on her late mother . . writer extraordinaire eulogizing writer who met obstacles while young but never let her ambitions be squelched

a perfect day; I will enjoy my rain

Mark
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Hi mark, I've been reading your emails for a couple years.. Pls remove me for a while.., hk

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Mark, Love the blog but can you please take me off your list. I am a busy man, and when I am retired I will have a lot more time for this. Thx, GG

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Hi Mark: I just took a look at the website you mentioned today - it looks impressive,except it's not the summer of 2006 yet. I thought you'd like to know about the typo before would-be clients get confused! Regards, HI

19C already, gorgeous morning – calm & sunny; we walked a long way though Gusta is still fatigued from last night I think – we went walking in Eau Claire & Kensington’s crowded streets spilling over with folk festival attendees, onlookers & large dogs too – Gusta went for a drink at river’s edge, then decided to go swimming, grateful for her 5 metre leash she did some serious paddling to work back upstream again . . her first ‘current’ experience

Saturday morning, my favorite time; no rules, time is a non-thing, no meetings to attend, no appointments to keep

Saturday is making eggs at noon & calling it breakfast

Saturday is calls & papers & playing with the pup

Saturday is debating whether the vacuuming can wait just 1 more day

Saturday is the last day of the work week, the first day of the weekend, it is every day, it is any day

Saturday is my lazy day

Saturday is a day of tranquility altered for a bit this morning by several calls & faxes & Friday’s unfinished business – time for work & reading & coffee drinking & domestic chores

Saturday is not complete without a Saturday evening . . I’m taking in a movie later with CM

Saturday, meanwhile . . editing, editing, editing . . while protégé Nic is beavering away to populate our new website http://www.kolkeandsteer.citymax.com with data on key SW Calgary neighbourhoods we will be focusing on

it’s noon . . . time for breakfast

that’s what Saturday is; the vacuuming can wait

Mark
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Hi Mark! Kindly remove my name from your "musing" list until further notice. Best regards, RT

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Have you changed something with your blog set up because I haven’t gotten your musings the last few days and there’s something that the AVG scanner isn’t letting through in the mornings so my convoluted thinking process has narrowed this down to your musings. It’s almost become a day without Mark’s Musings has something missing, TK

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Greetings Mark! I really like that our weather seems to parallel so easily at times, but would prefer you send some of your more fecund rainfall our southern way. I am not personally against sunshine but enough can be enough when the temp climbs to the 90's. Griping and moaning about it was cut short yesterday when a boy I write to acknowledged the package I sent and said it was 130F in Iraq this week. Chastened, I practiced gratitude the rest of the day for our easy weather and am rewarded with overcast and cool today on my day off. I will invite the dog to drag me around Tubb's Hill before the gig tonight and it is soooo easy to be grateful. Walk in Beauty, Mark!, MD

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Hi Mark, I know what it feels like to be 83 as I reached that milestone lastMarch, now I don't play golf after 48years which I miss terribly, but I amaddicted to bowls & play every fine day,on bad days I play bridge so itisn't all bad. Happy Birthday to your Dad, & give him a kiss from me ,giveone to Gusta too !!! All the best, bb

I need to go "no mail" temporarily...I will be back - Thanks, JE

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Hi Mark, can you remove me from the musing list until August 8th. I will be away. Hope all is well. Take care, JM

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Dear Mark, Funny , I never realized that our fathers had the same birthday. Mine would have been 80 today, Enjoy your time with him I've been thinking a lot about mine lately, :) , AI

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Mark, my dad was my hero. A mentor to many, a high school teacher to thousands. Slowed by Parkinson's Disease at 55, he didn't lament his lot in life, instead embraced his situation and did his best to help others living with the same hand he was dealt. Hundreds of homes across the country now have red and white Parkinson's Tulips in their gardens due to his fundraising efforts. When he was diagnosed with cancer and the doctor questioned why this sort of thing can't happen to just bad people, dad's reply was "There are no bad people". He was the strength in our family and he instilled his values, beliefs and hopes into his four children. His passing almost 4 years ago at 68 was, and still is difficult, but he was our dad, an amazing, gentle man and a gentleman. Happy Birthday to your dad! SH

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I wish a merry birthday to HK!, RC

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Happy Birthday wishes to your Dad, Mark. You and he sound as if you have a great relation. My dad is 91 and I don't think he is really enjoying life. About a year ago he was admitted into a nursing home and has progressively slowed down. Now, he needs assistance to move from his bed to a chair beside his bed. He was always active, hard working and looking back it doesn't seem fair that life brings you to a helpless stage before you finally die. I am spending the next two weeks in the Maritimes and hope to spend sometime with him but at the same time do not look forward to seeing the changes that have overtaken his life. I doubt if he will know who I am and I so want to hold on to the memories of the guy I once knew many years ago, as my dad. Take care, JF

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Hello Mark please remove me from the list and all the best to you!!, DH

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Hello Mark, Unfortunately I need to request that you "Unsubscribe" me from your musings. While I have enjoyed "musings", I was reminded by our head office that this computer and my business email address is for office use only. Rather than go through any grief from head quarters I feel it is best to ask you to unsubscribe me. When I get a personnel computer at home I will contact you to request being added back to your musings list. Don't take this the wrong way no one at head office has specifically identified "musings" as a problem. We recently recieved a reminder about the purpose of our work computers and work email addresses. My request to unsubscribe is me simply being proactive. Talk soon. Take Care , PW

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Happy Birthday HK! Thanks for sharing your experience with you Dad, Mark. He sounds like a really awesome guy. You too. (Oh, took my first golf lesson. It was fun. Feels good to know now to hold the club now and to actually get the ball in the air more often than not! Only 1/2 as much stick handling up the course now!) Have an awesome day and weekend. :-), VG

+11C, cloudy, light breeze; my morning walk part physical workout, part ‘organize compartments of my brain’, organize my day, clear yesterday’s cobwebs, put my smile on straight; I’ve come to be dependent upon it, need it . . can’t live without it !

interesting experience late yesterday; ‘acting’ in a role play for people training to be mediators; my part was fun to play – it was over earlier than expected so I was able to make my toastmasters meeting after all; good to get back - the two week break was too long !

habits, routines, regular practices, head down-butt up, working hard, relentless; so important, so vital to me when chaos whirls; things I do, things I manage to never let slip away no matter how busy it gets – I learned these things a long time ago – as I learned them again yesterday, coming in a million little silent lessons, my entire 53 years of lessons

he’s never lectured me, ever; I’m a better father because of his example, I’m a better man because of him; I’ve inherited genes, behaviours & baldness; I’ve inherited [maybe it was osmosis !] the work ethic, personal responsibility, strong independent streak

a year ago I saw him so frustrated having just given up the ultimate independence tool – driving; accepting loss of that, accepting help, asking for help . . new things for him; he has found, I think, since he has let more of the world in, let more people help that his stubborn pride is not impacted at all . . except maybe he is just a little less stubborn, but only a little

he has a brace on his right leg now to keep him from stumbling that he didn’t have a year ago, he uses his walker a lot more, cane all the rest of the time, recognizes he is just not steady on his feet without them; he’s not using his scooter as much as he could

hearing aids are new too in the last year; we spend more time than we used to, we talk more openly than we ever have, I think we both appreciate the quality of the time

to those of you who are recent additions to this list, you may not know who HK is: HK is Hubert, HK is my dad, HK is my best friend, HK is 83 today

he’s taught me to accept help, taught me to give love, taught me how to be a man; he never did it with a speech, or a lecture . . not ever . . just by his own example

now . . . if I could just be ½ as nice a guy & smile ½ as often . .

happy birthday !

Mark
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Stress is a constant companion, and not a helpful one. I finds a direct correlation between my level of stress and my inability to accomplish anything. How do you harness stress and use it to your advantage?, WA

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Hi Mark, I think I saw you in the alley between 4th and 5th avenue & st yesterdayafternoon. You looked busy and I was helping a client get into our underground parking so didn't stop to say hello. Hope all is going well with you. Good luck with your protégé. AR

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Dear Mark: Baseball is truly like the game of life. Your closing statement about stepping up to the plate in order for you to hit a homerun. Something better to think about is that you must have a team that stands behind you. I really think your musing associates are that. As I sit and read your entries, I also think about where I am and what is important to me for the day. I truly enjoy your reflections on your everyday living experiences. Thanks, SM

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Re: felt good; Good morning Mark, This musing stirred my feelings of the love I so clearly experienced with my dogs from days past. I remember having times with my "Dually", the Doberman, that you speak of with Gusta. They all were so Giving and non-judgmental. Most of my times with them had me distracted from the everyday thoughts that tend to weigh one down. I felt better, I feel better I am better. Let me speak to "Feelings" as you wrote about yesterday.I'm in Winnipeg at the airport[6:45am.] waiting to catch a flight to Edmonton and just opened your Tues. Muse. It is very early and so quiet at this airport that I'm wondering if it is open? This airport and the Regina airport are very similar in their "feel small"," feel quaint"," feel removed" from the Stream., Sometimes I "feel" the connections from the other musers who are moved to "feel" from the thoughts you share with us. Those moments are what I believe to be some of the more significant pleasures that has me appreciating you - - your perspectives - - your abilities to express yourself. Many of the days YOU DO in some way connect with me. How many years have we "known" each other? 20+ I think! With these last 2+ years from your musings I "feel" that I have come to know you better. I am appreciating that. Your "JJ" tag did catch me off-guard and prompted me to write, thanks. I Am on the road till Aug.3 but I promise to call to set up breakfast for that week. Sincerest regards, JJ

+12C, cloudy, damp; lots of tree damage in the neighbourhood from last night’s hailstorm – our walk brisk & invigorating as Gusta continues to find burs for her coat at every turn; she wanted a bigger longer walk – so much energy; more later

I am taking on a protégé in my real estate practice; time to teach & mentor & load sharing; not so much sharing the pie as looking to make more pie; providing information, ideas & work for a sponge to soak up is the easy part – teaching Nic how to recognize an opportunity, how to differentiate the opportunities from the distractions . . . ahh that will be the challenge

distractions come at me all day long & like pitches in baseball; some days I swing at the bad pitches, some times I let great ones sail right by; batter up, let’s play ball

Krista will be in town tomorrow to do a Police Helicopter ride-a-long & for my dad’s 83rd birthday; the next few days will be a little hectic which is good . . but it leaves less time for connecting with friends . . . or taking 30 uninterrupted minutes to think, to read, to write, to play

stress abates, a little, then comes right back to try me, stretch me just a little more

being really busy is a great consolation - yesterday frenetic & long; today will be no less than that – meetings, projects & new people to meet, new experiences await

to hit a homerun, first we have to step up to the plate !

Mark
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+11C, clearing up, light breeze; I return winded & refreshed – it felt good sprinting to the park & back in Gusta’s draft; it’s not her running speed that amazes me as much as that acceleration ; wonder-pup at my feet nibbling toes, resting before her next cycle of gorge, run, poop, sleep takes over

I find it interesting, how our culture uses the phrase ‘self-made’ to describe people who are highly successful, which presumes I suppose the converse of failures of ‘self-destroyed’

while most people in the middle of those extremes struggle I think to be ‘self-aware’ as society pays short shrift to those very many people in the middle who, in their own ways, probably struggle & succeed as much or more than the guy who invented the best next new thing & struck it rich

the great freedom of the ultra-rich & the ultra-poor, is the great freedom to try new things, to experiment, to go in new directions, while most are ‘people in the middle’ , creatures of an environment in which creativity & individualism are heralded in politically correct terms while reality for many is that no such freedom is felt

how have your felt lately ?

adrenaline rush, excitement of acceleration, of getting things going, of overcoming inertia intoxicates; yet when things calm down, I sometime collapse to rest, to sleep much like the
I’ve read my share of motivation related material; the ‘gag-me’ Tony Robbins genre does not de$erve di$cussion - most of the rest written from the perspective of how to motivate others, how to lead people in a way that this surge occurs in them, of themselves, by themselves

each of these books fails of course, because the ‘stuff’ that generates that momentum is within me, just as it is within you or any other person; the trick is to unlock, unleash it to be free and unfettered – let it be felt

felt, a wool fabric

felt, the past tense of the verb ‘to feel’

felt anything extraordinary lately ? I mean in your mind JJ . . in your mind !

get feeling, get going, get doing – never felt better


Mark
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a bit of house keeping..... I have started getting three copies a day of your musings... One of your fine thoughts would suffice. Thanks for your efforts, MDB

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You said: "...where my energy is best unleashed - unleashed; not spent, but set free . . . if only I make the effort" Oh how I LOVE that! Energy unleashed and set free. What an incredible use of words! Words are powerful. The energy in them can set up your day, moment, thought. The feel of unleashed and set free is so much more wonderful than "spent". Thank you so very much for that thought!, VG

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I recall receiving notes from you in the past and wondering why I was getting this stuff. Thank you for persevering and thanks to whoever it was that put me back on the list., WA

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Dear Mark , I like the non-blog format better (I know you've heard that before, just putting in my 2 cents.) Plus , do you remember our yahoo messenger conversations? I miss that, AI

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Hello Mark, Appreciate receiving your weekly newsletter but unfortunately email volume these days doesn’t allow time for a lot of casual reading. Keep up the good work with Facility Calgary. Best regards, MA

Mark, Yesterday you wrote: "....usually I take it like fowl cough medicine – I swallow because I have to, know it is good for me but hate every thing about it." I had no idea that there was a special cough medicine for fowl and that it might be good for someone. Do you hate it because of its foul taste? HMCD

+13C, partly cloudy, stiff breeze; our walk provided a surprise encounter with 2 deer in someone’s driveway– not sure if they were lost of just forgot which day is garbage day
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refreshed & ready to greet my day/evening of work, a day that will be interrupted by some golf on TV & lunch with my dad
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so which is the good advice & how can we tell it from the bad advice ?
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on the other hand, does it matter, since we ignore it anyway ?
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sometimes people ask me for it – lately I find myself asking for it more often; I wonder if in seeking advice my tendency is to seek validation for what I want to do rather than being to embrace some truly new ideas
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if the advice matches my intentions I consider it good advice
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on the other hand, if the advice doesn’t match my intentions – do I really take the advice to heart or simply rationalize why that person doesn’t really understand my situation ?
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on the other hand, isn’t it interesting – we live in a world of books, courses, lectures, TV shows & many more books; an industry in fact of ‘self help’ where we have access to advice upon advice upon advice
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do we take it ?
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Harry Truman had a saying I used & passed along often when my kids were growing up;
“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”
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I tried, they did, results were favorable
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I look back on my history of taking [or not] of advice; usually I take it like fowl cough medicine – I swallow because I have to, know it is good for me but hate every thing about it
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Mark
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Hey there, who is sending me these emails... rather interesting but unaware of where you are or what this is all about. Please send me a personal message so I am kept in the loop and understand what is going on, from where. Thank you!, RA

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Hey Mark, I was widowed in Oct/03 and during these past 18 months or so, I've been dealing with "going with the flood" not trying to push the river... and adjusting to the change in my landscape. I haven't had time to read your blogs for a few weeks and also am a bit of a dinosaur technology-wise.. so this "old" form of musing caused me to tune in and "voila" you hit on the exact topic that I've been musing over these past few days especially as I've "finally" begun to come to terms with my new reality. Thanks..for your always interesting and intimate musings., SM

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Hi Mark; Yes! Your insight "I often kid myself with use of the words new, change & shift – they let me maintain an illusion of change when in fact I am a creature of habit doing most things the same old way, living my life the same old way" can be terribly important. Why is it so hard to admit to ourselves the reality that sometimes personal growth can be obtained in ways that don't hurt others so badly and that superficial changes might not be needed to achieve real change. Who says that "stepping out of the box" is so important that so many spend so much energy complaining about the superficial changes they have made, to prove that they have "stepped out of the box". On a different tack, a lot of pain in parent teen relationships comes because teens pre-define their parent's lives as "in the box" and then pre-judge that "box" to have no value. Sometimes you hear adults doing the same thing, disparaging those that they love . Some teens and young adults seem to think that if they do something that hurts or offends their parents, then they have proven their adulthood, but often they have just met someone else's expectations rather than meeting what they think their parent's expectations are. Insights like the one I copies from your email Mark, are rare, and yet they could be honestly taught. LHE

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Hi Mark, just a quick word to NB. Your poet is Dylan Thomas. "Do not go gentle ... " was inspired by his father's death. Read "The force that through the green fuse drives the flower" to energise you for the battle against the inevitable passage of time. And Mark, as for things disappearing never to return. What happened to the British summer? Global warming has turned this place into a steaming, humid grapevine-clad Eden. I enjoy it while I can because once the glaciers and outer rim of the arctic ice cap have melted, my region will be underwater.Going with the flood is no metaphor! xx Shelagh, SK

good afternoon; thunderstorms & heavy rain gave way to heavy skies, fresh morning wet; +12C; post flood reshaping Fish Creek upstream from our bridge continues to erode & amaze this wide eyed child marveling at how everything shifts, manufacturing new landscape – the old landscape is destroyed never to return
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landscapes changing before my eyes following a flood seems a lot like how relationships change, sometimes changing forever following floods of emotion or turmoil; this morning I talked to a muser having her 2nd tough one in a tough week; someone I do business with, friend & muser had one of those the other day - we laughed yesterday about how he’d given me one of those lessons once before
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it tears us up to acknowledge a reality that always was - ‘going with the flood’ - old landscape destroyed never to return to the same shape or form;
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media exposes us to gripping tales of lives torn asunder by a multitude of calamities; life goes on, people start anew, countries & peoples embrace new realities – not because they wanted to or thought it was the right course of action; why then, can we not proactively take a similar approach to personal & business issues
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no one wants the trauma of losing of loved one through disease or divorce; yet when those changes are imposed, new flowers open in the garden of life . . . if not right away, then eventually the old landscape is destroyed never to return
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no one would change an entire landscape or destroy everything in an area; but often a flood, fire or disaster force it – from which springs a new Chicago from a massive fire or a family building a new life in a country as refugees; or someone building a new single life following an unexpected loss of everything they took for granted
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I don’t think it is the lesson we resist or the process of the learning; I think it is the little shock to our system that comes when we are dramatically confronted with something that proves things ARE NOT as we would like to believe that they are; I don’t think it matters whether the event is positive or negative – if it rocks our little comfy set of assumptions, it rocks just as much whether or not traumatic stuff is attached
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I would submit however, that these triggers & our reactions are not catalysts of ‘real changes’ any more than switching from a burger to a porterhouse really is indicative of a change in one’s diet; I try to change the things I feel need changing [though sometimes only paying lip service] while I try NOT to change the things I like, feel are OK, love, need, etc.
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most days I think a power outage or an internet outage would alter my life; truth is it would alter my day but not my life – I know my routines, my relationships, my points of view are entrenched – not all comforting, but rather ingrained in my habituation
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for the things I choose to have a different experience with, the use of the words new, change & shift will not accomplish much; it could I suppose, but that is not necessarily how real shift, real change & new paths manifest

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for me, change – real change that is – does not occur in my speech, my public demeanor, the way I dress or show itself in my output; most change I speak about is no more cerebral than changing my routine in something or advancing a new idea or chasing a new prospect – I often kid myself with use of the words new, change & shift – they let me maintain an illusion of change when in fact I am a creature of habit doing most things the same old way, living my life the same old way
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for things I like just fine as they are, why would I change unless change is forced upon me ? . . . even though that change might be very helpful, I resist
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it no doubt accounts for sharp increase in ‘out of the blue’ calls – results from search engines finding http://www.calgaryofficespace.com/ is way up thanks to help from GL which is very much appreciated !
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my green canine sporting a ‘green-bur-furry’ coat, dog grooming & several thousand bur removals later a freshly coiffed 19 week old Gusta sleeps at the base of my chair where the slightest of movements is detected as she guards against a ‘roll over my ear’ moment
. . .
best comment yesterday which I’ve appropriated for my own use:
'Unless you colour outside the lines, you are living in black and white'
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Mark
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Morning Mark Your comments this morning bring to mind a piece of poetry. ( I think by Matthew Arnold??)"Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, Rage against the dying of the light. Degenerate sons and daughters, Life is too strong for you. It takes Life to love life." Or something close to that. I have not read that poem in years, but the first two lines ring in my head often. Perhaps I just excel at tilting at windmills. take care and snuggle that cute puppy!, NB

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life is about both always...the weather is always changing inside and out...so defiantly NOT going with the flow will defiantly be challenged by the point of view called going with the flow within moments or days....how about just getting centered as an option...thnx for your sharing...LM

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Mark, you've really spoken to me today. I applaud your enthusiasm and lust for life -- don't ever let go of that energy. Thanks for sharing., JP

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Great musing today -- I totally related to it. What does age have to do with living? I've always wondered, how should I act "at my age?" I have no intentions of going quietly either. I have been labelled a free spirit since I was young because I always played by my own rules -- leaping into things, sometimes foolishly, sometimes not so much but always with an open mind and fierce determination. My life is not a chore or day-to-day drudgery to me, even when my day consists of laundry, cleaning and yard work. It just isn't in me to look at life that way. As much as my business is challenging and exciting, I also still take pleasure in getting all my ironing done on laundry day!!, CC

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Hi Mark: First time replying but look forward to everyday. As you can see, comes up on the company site which I have to check daily. Thus I have the opportunity to catch you and the much appreciated break from the work, work, work that seems to fill my days. Outside the box is great, but find so few who are willing to step out and take a look around. We seem to feel more comfortable and secure sitting inside and yearningly staring at those few who dare to do the unthinkable. Going against the flow is hard work, tiring and continual, but the unrestrained joy of finally reaching the outset is worth the pain. Have seen too many heartbreaks, trying to fitinto the box that everyone else seems to feel should restrain me has taught me that living outside is the freedom that we all need to grow and expand our horizons. When we go against the flow of mainstream life, and strike out on our own to find ourselves, we have no one to blame for our pain but ourselves, and somehow that seems to relegate it to an inconsequential ache, so easily bearable that it no longer has the ability to fill our minds and souls with ugliness. My heartfelt prayer for you and yours is that you find the joy inherent in living outside the box, and the strength to continue the fight against the constant drain of the mainstream of life. Thanks for allowing me to muse along with you. CH

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Funny, I had never considered the "go with the flow" phrase to be one of conformity, or staying within the lines, although it seems obvious now. I have always used it in two ways, 1) to help me out when I am out of my element, in a new or unusual situation, and more often 2) when life throws new directions at me that weren't "in the plans" I sometimes have to convince myself to "go with the flow". So for me, the phrase should be "go with the flow of the universe", used sparingly when the opportunity seems right. NI

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Dear Mark: I loved the theme go with the flow and agree with your philosophy that one must find their own flow and be comfortable with it. Just returned from one weeks holiday on the back of a Goldwing and did a lot of thinking about life. You know everyone should each day should look into themselves and ask the question, "Where am I today". Have a great day and enjoy your walk with Gusta. , SM

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Mark: "Go with the flow" always meant to me that life itself was like a river - whether flooding a field or merely a trickle of a creek tumbling over pebbles - swirling in eddies or stagnant trapped by fallen tree limbs - flowing with the river it encounters wild rapids and waterfalls - it symbolized to me all the events that affect the lives of us all - at times quiet and serene and at times tumultuous and turbulent but always filled with diversity and wondrous surprises at each curve in its path, SS

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Sorry I didn't get back to you.......timing.....it's all timing. I'm off to Slave Lake this am. I have friends up there for the weekend and as I have never been there before I thought I'd live life on the edge (smile). I'll try to connect with you Saturday or Sunday. Have a great weekend!, CD (from the north!)

good morning musers, +11C, strong breeze, partly cloudy in south Calgary; grass & trees moving to some soft melody as we did our morning walk watching a neighbourhood rise & go about morning routines – going with the flow as much as those grass & trees move with the breeze
. . .
summer of 69 memories play in my mind; moon landing & my first full time job & starry eyed naiveté of not knowing how pivotal the ensuing handful of years would be on my entire life – how those little choices, those small changes in direction would wear deep grooves as I followed my path; as a creek finds its way setting out where a river will one day flow ; though that river sculpts banks & wears away edges. the ultimate destination remains the same because a trickling creek made it so – then, going with the flow, the river’s route & identity became certain
. . .
‘going with the flow’, popular, overused & misunderstood phrase is crapolo
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‘going with the flow’ seems like colouring inside the lines – something I could never do as a child; today we use phrases like ‘thinking outside the box’ so freely it would ‘not going with the flow’ not to think outside the box
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I’m wondering . .why a box ?
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we struggle against flow our entire lives; best example is the lack of gracefulness with which we age & decline, unwilling to surrender independence & still trying to stuff ourselves into clothes that just don’t fit anymore – we struggle hard to hang on to even the most recent past because we fear the worst of the future
. . .
we migrate to retirement communities in warm climes, we modify our tastes & act more mature as each age/stage of life goes by – but why not reverse that trend ? it seems we all try to reverse aging, prevent death, assuage our decline & deny our reality – that’s not going with the flow, is it ?
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I am as classic a ‘don’t go with the flow’ guy who says he does as I have ever encountered; I’ve been trying to go with the flow for years because I thought it was an appropriate thing to be trying to do; it was ‘politically correct’ to be sure, it was trendy & frequently used by others I liked & respected to describe their acceptance, their comfort with reality – a load of crapolo !
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when we struggle & win it is great, but even when we struggle & lose it feels so right to have ‘not gone with the flow’
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to those who find comfort in ‘going where it is flowing’, good for you if that is right for you, but I have a lot of fight & struggle & grow & try left in me
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loss of loved ones & loss of waist control & diminishing eyesight & inability to appear young does not mean for a moment we cannot be frisky & feisty more each day
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I’ve not yet begun to be as frisky & feisty as I will yet be
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I will not go quietly, I will not go soon & I WILL NOT go with the flow
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be neither inside or outside the box; be the box . . or throw away the box
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think outside the bag, or outside the bottle or the can or outside of your experience
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no more boxes, no more go-with-the-flow
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Mark
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Remember when the Calgary Herald had local columnists....who shared daily from the heart like you do...??? Ah, as urbania grows we (I) yearn for the small, the community connections. Small is beautiful it is said...and it is always people who create a society... I enjoy the musings ... and look for the collective vision. Tough living in a commute and pollute society where neighbors, and important ideas are rarely fertilized. A society crumbling, hopefully we will be part of a rebirth... To listen and to speak from the heart, as native people did in their circles and the feather/talking stick passed from one to another. Thanks for encouraging me to muse..., FA

good morning musers,
. . .
+8C, sunny glorious morn as we walk/jog to the park & back, Gusta’s speed first thing in the morning makes me wonder if I should delay her breakfast
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slightly winded, I return to my keyboard – what should I write ? it occurs to me one part of the success of these musings [ie: growth of audience] is that there are things many of you like which should remain unchanged [ie: first thing in the morning, DAILY, formatting etc.] yet if this process is going to develop beyond a combo of my somewhat self serving diary & diatribe with occasional soapbox moments for some of you, then it must regularly morph a little – progress some – evolve
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maybe some of you need or want that or maybe I just need that to happen for me
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as I come recent musings with some written a year or 2 ago I see several trends – better writing, fewer response ratio-to-readership, far higher quality responses [YOUR writing + expression of feelings/points of view has grown too], more thought, fewer laughs & some extraordinary connections among some of you who have never met; disparate in terms of locale, lifestyle – yet connected by this singular daily thread
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so, what to change ? . . many things, few things, everything or stop altogether ?
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stopping is not an option
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I’ve often solicited feedback; like bovine cud-chewing – some for spitting out, some for digesting– some I’ve digested & reflected in my output, some I’ve ignored & some I’ve discarded as the dung it was [unkind words sometimes accompany ‘unsubscribe’ notes ]
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counterpoint offered gently by some, abruptly by others; some of you call or write to reinforce for me what musings means to you – I am in your debt
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sometimes something else happens – I notice it more often & feel it more deeply when the connection is with someone I’ve known . . or whose writing I’ve known for a long time; but sometimes this happens with someone I’ve connected with more recently
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that something is realizing that an outstretched finger tip, a ‘send’ button, a telephone or just a thought expressed while smiling can communicate love & caring across thousands of miles, or hundreds or across a room
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every day these fingertips tickle some keys, reach out to touch some unknown portion of 4100 of you – sometimes you ignore, delete, disagree or do not care; but some days we make a connection you & I
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you & I are on the same page, have the same thought, have the same experience – see it the same way or, as is more often the case, see it in some different way
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GD said the other day she is distressed when she turns on her blackberry @ 8:30 AM if the Musings are not there . . . wondering if something has gone off track in my life; no better thanks could be ever given this humble writer than someone eager to read what I’ve just written
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some days I have trouble generating a drop or two; some days it pours out
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some days it runs over & some days I beg for help to fill-er-up
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musings works – like many things, because people keep it together; I am but a piece of glass-hub in the middle allowing some of you to see right through me to see someone else’s world, some see a reflection of some kind that generates a smile, a thought, a frown – but something that says I have moved you
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write on
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to kk, write-on
to KK, scuba diving in Mexico, happy 50th tomorrow !!
to KT & SM, I read somewhere that the dull ache of loss is replaced by a milder ache that turns to a smile punctuated by a tear or two – my thoughts are with you both
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you & I connect; not ‘we’
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but you & I
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Mark
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hi dad, yes beef is an important issue, but so is hockey. I had a great day today, I turned on sportsnet to catch highlights from the mlb allstar game but was pleasantly surprised to see the NHL and the NHLPA have finally stuck a deal. Yes there will be hockey this year, I no longer care if I have a date for Saturday night, because now I have Don Cherry and Ron McLean to entertain me. So if there is hope for hockey, there is hope for beef., kk

+11C, sunny; last night’s hot still quiet morphed overnight into mosquito swatting maniaville as we walked in the park this morning
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every day my phone rings, or an opportunity comes around the corner or someone I meet plants an idea; I reach for the phone, ask questions that probe & prod . . . I reach out, but what am I stretching for ? am I yearning for impossible unrealistic dreams ?
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RF, we should talk & soon ! I am no fatalist; not one who easily says ‘things happen for a reason’, but sometimes a coincidence or someone’s reaction to something is just way too cool to not notice . . to say hhmmmm
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two years ago getting Canadian live beef moving again was on everyone’s mind; 2 years later Canadians continue to wait for an American court to make an American ruling; surely we mild-mannered Canadians can do better; we ship oil south & buy cars made in Japan as if we were hapless servants to these trading partnerships rather than a country with some decision making power . . but then we would need leadership
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‘nuff of my rant for today
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what time is it ?
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tic-toc; I have a meeting downtown to get ready for, so must dash now
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GOOD MORNING !
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Mark
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Dear MG, I think your philosophy towards the students in your school is fabulous. You will never know the perhaps subtle and not-so-subtle effects of your reaching out to the students in your school, possibly even far reaching effects!!! Teachers like you are gold nuggets. Good on ya !! MM

PS: For many years, I was a student specialist consultant for a large urban school board, so know a bit from whence I speak.

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Mark - "my point – I have one – is that the agony, ecstatic moments & flavorless blahs each teach if we take the moments to listen & learn" Beautiful!MG - You are so awesome! Wish you would have been a teacher at my Junior High. :-), VG

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Mark .. I'm another who arrived on your list by some accident. My first few minutes each day are spent deleting "spam" and I have no doubt that in the mindless, pre-coffee cleanup routine I may have deleted musings for several days and when I read the first one I wondered ... who IS this? But guess what? Much to my surprise I enjoy them ... so thank you! Maybe its the fast approaching 50th birthday that has me more introspective than "normal". Anyway I thought I would pass along a website and newsletter that I think you would enjoy from John Izzo

http://www.theizzogroup.com/ who spends a great deal of time talking about balance, life meanings etc. Enjoy! KD

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Hi Mark, Would you please sign me up to receive your musings pages? I was on your distribution list during the winter, but somehow the pages stopped coming. Thanks and keep up the great work!, LW

+10C, sunny, another beautiful day blossoms as Gusta & I sprint along our trail; I try to keep up, running most of the way behind hyper garbage-disposal dog who seems to get her roles mixed; retrieving is one thing, but who taught her to swallow ?
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struck by the luck, randomness & mysterious way in which a set of words moves another person to an emotional, guttural response I try to peel away my bravado to search for the value in deeply emotional experiences – sometimes I do it by observing someone else share theirs
. . .
for a special someone who includes me in their experience:
“Sorrows cannot all be explained away. In a life truly lived, grief and loss accumulate like possessions.” - Stephen Kanfer
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the more I read of writers, writing & striving to understand success/lack of success in their work together I find the angst descriptions all too familiar; Berton says: read, write, rewrite . . . repeat daily
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what seems to work best, is to write from my belly, write my angst, write my foibles – each day I fail to see enough, understand enough, empathize enough to feel like I am of any real value; but then someone reminds me that I do, then someone else chimes in to reinforce that or make another point
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my point – I have one – is that the agony, ecstatic moments & flavorless blahs each teach if we take the moments to listen & learn
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good morning . . . repeat daily !
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Mark
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Hi Mark: I found your thoughts around Control from the July 9th Musing interesting. You may want to consider reading "The Last Word on Power" by Tracy Goss. It is very thought provoking, mw

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I regret that I do not have the time to utilize the "musings" item on a daily basis. Please "unsubscribe" me., db

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Good Morning - interesting comments - brought to my mind a situation a few years back. I worked with a lady who had a rule that whomever arrived last was the one who needed to say "Good Morning". She always arrived at work before me. This rule annoyed me initially until I decided to take this as an opportunity. I would now be in charge of setting the mood of the day!, AW

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Mark and fellow musers, Good Morning. SH

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Good Morning Mark - I like Good Morning - but how about: Top of the Mornin' - spoken with an Irish accent "Good Day" - aussie style or maybe "Watcha" - english cockney or as Joey in Friends would say "How you doin" Have a good morning, IS

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I enjoyed catching up on your musings and the responses to them. You continue to have an interesting perspective and a unique presentation of those thoughts. Any idea of how many people you are reaching? I'm intrigued by those who say something to the effect of "I don't know how my name got onto your list.....!" I presume it means that somewhere, someone has thought your musing important enough to forward them to another and so the list grows. Your most recent thoughts on "good morning!" remind me of how I often try gently to "force" a response from kids in the 600 student jr high where I teach. I'm a firm believer in what seems to be behind your "aloha" comments. So many kids veil themselves within their long, forward-draping hair or inside their hoodies or behind the earphones of their mp3's. Some avoid me by looking elsewhere even if we are the only two in the length and void of a school hallway (and I'm not sure there is anything longer or emptier than a school hallway!). Are they entitled to their solitude? Absolutely. But, on the odd chance, that one of them is hiding because it's less painful than reaching out and being ignored, I give each one of them a little nudge. I greet each and call each by their name.....the use of a name is always the more important of the two. Some look up startled, smile and greet me back, some even stop and talk. Some just smile rather weakly; some shrivel deeper into themselves revulsed by the intrusion. But nothing can take away the fact that, that morning, someone, even an old teacher, directed a smile and a purposeful greeting, with a name, toward him. Does it make a difference? Guess I'll never know. But it sure makes me feel better for having tried! I suppose that it doesn't hurt that I am in my little kingdom. But maybe by my little nudge, the school can start to be a small comfort zone for that kid, the beginnings of his own little kingdom. What a little philosophy, half-baked and rather trite....but it's mine! Back to painting. Take care. , MG

+9C, sunny, light breeze
. . .
I pulled & was pulled in equal measure as Gusta the wonderpuppy frolicked, our morning walk was perfect
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I am thinking about a new form of greeting; just like aloha it could be the same when greeting or parting - good morning ! – a phrase that could enlighten & warm the world
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good morning
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it’s been done you may say; but humour me & try seeing it, hearing it from a new perspective
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these are words you have used countless times; sometimes in passing, sometimes as a form of grunting, we pay too little attention to this greeting . . or parting; when we have the opportunity to lighten someone’s load or our own with the simple turn of a phrase, with upturned mouth & unwrinkled brow
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try it with a new slant; whisper it to yourself, mouth it in front of the mirror + say it to the next 10 people you meet
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do it with smile & style [especially if you are on the phone!], do it with ‘fresh morning damp green grass between your bare toes’ verve, do it imagining fresh chilled juice trickling down your throat
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or shout it out !
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or softly touch someone on the shoulder, and say ‘good morning !’ just like a firm handshake
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as I go about my business, clearly I have some quest down deep for ‘the great idea’, the ‘better way’, the ‘something new’ that will change my life forever – we probably all have some of that – but I wonder how many of us would recognize that gem when it arrives ????
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on this sunny morn I imagine my day will be filled with some laughter & some time to write & some time to experiment
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a perfect day plan, without regard to whether I discover the cure for anything but simply to find my way home at day’s end, smiling with satisfaction I poured myself into something worthy
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I sense I will have a great week; I am poised, alert & ready for something new, meaningful & exciting; in a file in my pile, a phone call, an email or a detour in traffic, somewhere, just around a corner it lurks in wait for me
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good morning !
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Mark
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musings posted daily at:

http://markismusing.blogspot.com & http://markismusing.blog-city.com

Thanks for the hug and kind words. It wasn't my intent to make what happened to you appear insignificant. Quite the contrary! Your feelings are as important as anyone's. Feelings and communication are what's at the forefront, and how we offer them to another. As I have done on far too many occasions, a knee-jerk response to the hurt or rejection felt, is seldom appropriate. I've personally given the term clawback a meaning all it's own. Consider the fact that the person in question isn't ready for that type of encounter or relationship and didn't know how to let you know. Did they even recognize it within themselves? If they couldn't handle a polite call to you, then how would they have actually dealt with meeting face to face? Would you have seen the true spirit within them? With your usual decorum, "Next" is likely the best action. Just trying to be a friend to you, as I would hope you'd be to me. The horse is dead.........the soapbox vacant!!!! Have a wonderful sunny Sunday. , MW

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Mark... I liked your friendship( expansion) definition....true friends are like that as opposed to acquaintances who are here and gone... I had fun today with neighborhood kidlets... we did stiltwalking and they enjoyed the clownwigs.... sort of like a minicircus and a replacement for the grandkids I don't have (yet). Living in community making the best of each day. some pics... I remember when I was this age and spent my entire day on stilts walking around the block and various places... Capricorns like to do that---the goat in us!, FA

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Hello. I'm not sure of how I got on to your list of people to forward your musings to. But here I am. Read several of them and they made me realize that, yes, one has individual struggles, etc. to overcome, I have not been stood up, but, on my search to find that special partner to share life with - I am not alone in my "hope for more" experience, to reach for, to grow, spiritual and - in the material way - in search for lack of "want" in the material realm, if that is at all possible? Probably not. We always want more don't we? What is enough? Who knows? I hope you had, after all, a good week end. and enjoy stampede!!!, EL

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HI Mark, I have been getting these letters and didn't know they were from you. I am and was pleasantly surprised to see your face when I clicked on the website. Your definition today of friendship is very appropriate to my thoughts as well. I hope you have had a wonderfully fulfilling or relaxing Sunday as you wish it. Take care and talk with you soon, MD

+10C, sunny, calm
. . .
Gusta found only the very best fresh green burrs to decorate her coat as Krista & I braved ‘way too many mosquitoes’ as we got our ‘pound the path’ workout
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home now . . dog brushed & de-burred
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slogan’s like ‘don’t leave home without it’ and ‘membership has many benefits’ should apply to more than credit cards; it should apply to friendship; it’s power is significant in person but just as much so at great distance or over long stretches of not seeing or talking to that friend:
- this morning an email from MW advising of her father’s recent death – along with a few comments to put my trivial tribulations in perspective – thank you !
- this morning a call from KT reminding my what caring loving incredibly kind people I am luck enough to know; their pains, their losses, their struggle makes my little problems seem so insignificant – thank you !
+ I had 2 visitors yesterday:
- much traveled DL came by for an overdue Mark & Gusta visit – thank you !
- Krista came up from Lethbridge to give me a very welcome dose of daughter therapy; a meal & a movie & lots of talk & lots of laughs – always fun to provide dating advice to my daughters, my best friends – thank you !
. . .
“ The hardest part of anything is the beginning, and the second hardest part is letting go when it's the end. ” - E. Fritz
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time to cook breakfast & get KK on her way & read the Sunday New York Times & turn my attention to that pile called work; ignored yesterday, it cries for relief
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Mark
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Yikes! I'm just glad I'm not SE from Toronto!, LR

+14C, partly cloudy, light breeze
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walking slowly & late I find Saturday morning cruising the area unlike the other days; Saturday seems to be all about yard work & garage sales & packing & moving in this neighborhood; Gusta & I cruise by – our park path is ours alone – quiet, serene
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so much of what I do is a product of continuing what I have done before without examining whether or not it makes sense
. . .
what I think scare us, me anyway, is giving up control of things I naively think I control to expose myself to uncharted territory; to be in a place where I have no bearings, have nothing concrete to cling to – to boldly go where I’ve not been before
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to experiment with what my exploration does to my emotional experience, what my emotional experience does to/for others, what my experience teaches
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fear is not so much of meeting someone new or learning about a person, a company, a pursuit; it is simply the ‘new territory’ fear; I realize rationally that risk is present everywhere, in every thing, in every moment – so there is no point hiding out from risk – it will still find me !
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in risk there is opportunity, in opportunity learning, in learning growth, in growth risk
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fear of the unknown, concerns me less than the fear of not exploring the unknown – afraid of what I will miss, how I will fail to grow

yesterday’s frenzy of work seems to have left an even taller pile labeled ‘weekend’ - my fate is sealed unless a tall stranger rescue’s me to get out & about
. . .
a Friday night on the town did not materialize; it’s been a long while since I’ve been stood up – so I spent a quiet evening at home last night, keeping my dog company; SE is in town however she neglected to call/chickened out/got busy or the unlikely possibility that there is a very good reason; rude behaviour for a Calgarian, but then again, she is from Toronto; next !
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Mark
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+14C, partly cloudy, light breeze
. . .
walking slowly & late I find Saturday morning cruising the area unlike the other days; Saturday seems to be all about yard work & garage sales & packing & moving in this neighborhood; Gusta & I cruise by – our park path is ours alone – quiet, serene
. . .
so much of what I do is a product of continuing what I have done before without examining whether or not it makes sense
. . .
what I think scare us, me anyway, is giving up control of things I naively think I control to expose myself to uncharted territory; to be in a place where I have no bearings, have nothing concrete to cling to – to boldly go where I’ve not been before
. . .
to experiment with what my exploration does to my emotional experience, what my emotional experience does to/for others, what my experience teaches
. . .
fear is not so much of meeting someone new or learning about a person, a company, a pursuit; it is simply the ‘new territory’ fear; I realize rationally that risk is present everywhere, in every thing, in every moment – so there is no point hiding out from risk – it will still find me !
. . .
in risk there is opportunity, in opportunity learning, in learning growth, in growth risk
. . .
fear of the unknown, concerns me less than the fear of not exploring the unknown – afraid of what I will miss, how I will fail to grow

yesterday’s frenzy of work seems to have left an even taller pile labeled ‘weekend’ - my fate is sealed unless a tall stranger rescue’s me to get out & about
. . .
a Friday night on the town did not materialize; it’s been a long while since I’ve been stood up – so I spent a quiet evening at home last night, keeping my dog company; SE is in town however she neglected to call/chickened out/got busy or the unlikely possibility that there is a very good reason; rude behaviour for a Calgarian, but then again, she is from Toronto; next !
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Mark
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This is my first year away from Stampede .... living in Houston, I couldn't make the trip up this year ... as a native Calgarian, I wish everyone hair of the dog for 10 days .. Yahoo!!, JT

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Hey Mark, interesting, how do we/should we measure ourselves? When I have the time to ponder on this I find that I must be pretty boring as I just "am" I don't consciously measure me against others, don't care how much money as long as there is enough to pay bills and live comfortably, could lose 10 ( OK maybe 20) pounds but I am very active and ride at least two horses a night, I am very lucky to very happy with my life. Sometimes angst is good for the writing/creating part of my soul, but at this point in my life I think I can make do with " angst in reflection, or angst remembered"! Anyway, thanks for the thought provoking musing this morning. Have a great stampede! At least us sober ones will remember it! , NB

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Mark, Thanks.... As a Calgary born, I will be taking the opportunity to exit Calgary as I did since I was a kid.... holidays.... Going camping to escape my valleys and clouds.... Maybe let people know there will be an interesting presentation at the Knights of the Roundtable about --- fluoridation --- yes now this is an issue for even some Calgary MD's! Single parents might also find this useful info. The beer might be safe, but the tap water....... I don't drink it... The July 19 talk will be good! , FA

+12C, light clouds, light breeze
. . .
our walk anything but quiet, interrupted by traffic noise as stragglers rush downtown & construction crews make noise – pathside grass now like a waving wheat field with patches flattened [like hailstorms do] from Gusta’s daily incursions
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what is the measure of happiness, what is the measure of success, what is the measure of me ?
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of you ? is it the reflection in the mirror, or the image others see ?
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is it the balance sheet or the bank balance or the size of the house or how many you have ?
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size isn’t everything !
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I have experienced periods of substantial success [excess!] & find that hills are often followed by valleys also known as deep troughs
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in those valleys there are companions like self pity, self doubt & flagellation; a cold place one best not stay too long
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things look brighter this morning than yesterday, notwithstanding some clouds, just as yesterday looked brighter than the day before
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each year May/June seems to be very slow for my business, followed by a very busy period in July that, fortunately, seems to come out of nowhere each year; 3 new assignments came out of nowhere in the last 24 hours . .
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2 issues are too significant to not talk about this morning
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1 – London bombed; terrorists wreak havoc on lives, families & a city/country that has known so much needless bloodshed; reminds us how lucky we were to have a G-8 Summit without incident
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2 – Calgary to be bombed; the Calgary Stampede begins with the parade this morning; separating the city’s population into two groups - those who MUST attend the parade from those who don’t care while the objective of so many is to get bombed during 10 days of Calgary Stampede that sees a city go a little wild; correction, a lot wild – a time when ‘hair of the dog’ does not describe that state of my carpets; a prelude really, for those who get bombed [there are so so many] who will one day have stupefying memories of how they met their spouse or lost their spouse or lost something precious at the Calgary Stampede
. . .
connecting: great to talk yesterday with muser [who never writes !!] AH from Edmonton whose dog story was sad + meetings new faces of longtime musers; VD & I enjoyed chat & coffee & diet Pepsi last night – interesting to meet someone face to face for the first time after many months of e-chat + SE is in town for Stampede & hope to hook up with her later
. . .
it must be a strange time for MG, having retired as Calgary’s White Hatter this past year – Marge, you gave so much of you to that role for so many years, it will never be the same without you administering the cowboy oath to distinguished visitors – hope you are well !
. . .
tic toc gotta get busy
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Mark

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' Life is essentially a learning experience. Every situation, challenge and relationship contains some message worth learning or teaching to others.' - Carolyn Myss, VD

+10C, sunny, calm
. . .
I got my tranquility back & the park got its calm – Gusta got her dew-fix roaming tall grass
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I’ve been thinking about things I’ve started – particularly ones that are stalled; not the dead ones in the closed files, not the ‘interrupted/delayed/pending’ files parked in the ‘arrested development’ pile, but rather ones I’ve not moved forward though there is no apparent reason not to
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my excuses to self seem the same year after year; not enough time, not ready yet, something more pressing came along, circumstances changed requiring a re-think, etc. etc. . . all valid rationalizations
. . .
interesting term: valid rationalizations
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today might be different; I wonder if it will ?
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‘at a crossroads’ is a curious term for decision/indecision, for opportunity, for change of direction, or not; multiple choices of which standing still & retreating are no less valid than any other direction
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Callahan said, ‘he won’t get far on foot’ . . . an easy jest for a quadriplegic; if I strike out in a new direction, how far will I get ?
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I talk about it in a theoretical sense, but I know I have struck out in a new direction – to most people including those who know me well the change is not readily apparent
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DB’s speech on planning at Toastmasters last night got me thinking about detours; reminds me a lot of Frost’s fork in the road . . and Yogi Bera’s fork in the road and this:

“Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.”
- Doug Larson
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if I strike out in a new direction, how far will I get ?
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each day I have a finite volume of energy; like a dollar where I can only spend 100 cents, I can only spend my energy until there is none left – the key of course to use up the entire 100 every day because tomorrow I will wake up with a fresh supply of energy & time
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energy + time – consumption + a smile = exhausted & happy
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I have a full day, a full plate & plans to get fully exhausted later !
. . .
Mark

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Hi Mark, I don't write often but thought I should let you know that we found out late yesterday that Eleanor and I are Grandparents, gees do we feel old... Regards, JF

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Thanks Mark... stressed is just desserts spelled backwards??? Yes I am stressed from too many desserts.... gotta get out walking again...I used to be a good hiker.... thanks for the sharing, FA

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Mark, I came across your musings while blogwalking. I was struck by your interesting perspective and fine writing. If you haven't started working on that book, it may be time, SN

+18C, cloudy, calm
. . .
construction noise numbs, the park cries out for quiet – none comes; monster house getting finishing touches – a bemused woman watches from her new garage as 14 [yes, I counted] sweaty men are pouring & finishing her triple driveway pad . . . not sure if she is frowning because she doesn’t like the fit of any of those 14 pairs of jeans or in contemplation of the labour portion of the bill
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yesterday was full & this morning’s work already intervened, pre-empted publishing this sooner – sorry !
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it was a difficult night for sleeping, one of those rare ones where I don’t begin snoring before I hit the pillow; my night a mix of snooze, coyote choruses, late night/early morning infomercials & wandering outside enjoying warm breeze as an 60’s Al Martino song plays in my head ‘nothing’s really quite as pretty, as Mary in the morning . . etc. ’ reminding me of a 1968 summer crush on a flaxen haired Mary
. . .
words of someone I’ve never met played over & over: “ the start of our journey together will not have been harmed by the combination of your weird humour and my floundering attempts at conversation” . . . hhmmmm
. . .
my words yesterday were inadequate to convey comfort – some very kind responses have been passed on, yet they likely do not help something that cannot be helped
. . .
we all have stressful things happen, things that we cannot wait for them to be ‘just over’; from a hang-nail wound that won’t heal, a tediously long Friday afternoon, or a renovation project - where we just ‘want it to be over’
. . .
we stress over these minor inconveniences of life & use that ‘want it to be over’ term without regard to what it might mean to someone whose circumstances really deserved use of the term when the reason one says ‘I just want it to be over’ are beyond description with mere words
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a full day & a proposal to finish & toastmasters tonight !
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dog report: Gusta had a dog-walk date last night; chocolate lab named Maggie brought her owner; seems dogs had more chemistry [not much] than their owners; a swim in the river in Inglewood near confluence of Bow & Elbow rivers + socializing with homeless folks who stopped fighting to pet my pup were side effects; next !
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Mark
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Hi Mark, You've set my addiction to Golf in motion. Picked up my clubs, and set off to have a few games. I've decided to set MY par at 10 so I can consistently birdie. ;-) Your words made me think of a book I am reading that may be of value to your friend, and perhaps some of your readers. It was introduced to me by a friend who lost her son. It gave her the comfort to move through that challenge, and has been giving me comfort with some of my contrast as well. The book is called Radical Forgiveness. I can be bought at Amazon, or their website http://www.radicalforgiveness.com./ At the website you can download Chapter 1 called Jill's Story (downloads section). The book may or may not fit, but for me it gave me some insight into some of my past and present challenges. Have a fantastic day! Dream BIG!, VG

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Just wondering how I got on your mailing list. I am enjoying the readings everyday. Would like to contribute my thoughts. Thank you, J

Tears...I am crying for your friend. I feel all her pain, I feel her hate towards a god that would allow this. I watched my husband die for two years and when he finally took his last breath I knew I couldn't ask him to stay in his sick body. So many tubes in his wonderful body...the indignities he had to suffer. I wanted to say "No don't go...Stay...I love you!" but he was too tired to go on, how could I ask him to stay? Now life has started again and there are some wonderful days. I don't know why he had to leave...or why I had to stay. I do know he wants me to live and love again. He used to say to me.. "Vicki, life is for the living! Get out there and live it!" The days will get better, each day I wake up is a gift to live for both of us... One thing you must learn is to "give up the need to know why things happen." Things just happen... there are no why's there just is...I am sending all my love and energy to your friend to help and comfort her through her pain., VD

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Thank you Mark...good to be receiving these again!, RW

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Wow you sure can type! I associate prodigious typing with bloggers and you've not disappointed me. You seem, after my brief survey, concerned with the meaning of the matter of things, loving, sweet natured, masculinley ambitious, a reflective walk-abouter - how am I doing. I have to be a worker bee and am less than athletic with typing alore therefore... am off to Powell's [the Portland bookstore of modest fame] for a lecture by an author tonight. Maybe I will write more later. My little site, which was intended a lifetime ago to assist in an attempt to job change [I currently look thru a microscope to find cancer and am sick of hospital work especially at the VA Hospital] My current job was waiting for me when I arrived from Boston 7 months ago and the cancer at the VA is more florid than most other hospitals]. You seem aware of illness and such.Most are not., C

[a note about responses: I often find in conversation with some of you that you have insightful & interesting things to say, yet you don’t often hit ‘reply’ to share those thoughts with me & with the group – something I would encourage you to do; please & thanks !]
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+17C, sunny, light breeze
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Gusta’s spurts of energy interrupted only by stops for stick hunting in the tall grass; my walk was unsettling – this was a day I wanted to just saunter, relax & clear my head
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that was not to be
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whether complex business venture, research, academic pursuit or athletic triumph; few things are more gripping to see in action than the loss of freedom, loss of mobility & loss of choice that is the reality of people as they lose functioning . . . & more obviously for most of us, for people with disabilities – something I have seen many times over 26 + years involved in advocacy work for people with physical & developmental disabilities
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when I see someone paralyzed in a motorized wheelchair you might see someone completely absent of abilities, choices & independence
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I learned to see people who possess enormous strength, resolve & determination to make even the smallest of decisions
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to take the opportunity to boldly say or do something, anything . . whatever they can to assert their independence is incredibly important & deserves respect, deserves to be revered
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whether in the John Callahan cartoons I love so much or when I see seeing someone blow into a mouth control to drive their chair – I appreciate how much that independence means, how treasured it is especially when it is all you have
. . .
in conversation with a friend who is watching someone she loves in palliative care - it was hard for me to think of any argument otherwise yesterday when I heard this phrase:
‘nothing good comes from this’
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in that moment I wanted to say something comforting to my friend who, between smiles, is in a cruel form of despair daily – nothing more cruel I can imagine than what she must witness sitting vigil with someone she loves dearly wasting & waiting
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waiting for inevitabilities to unfold, watching daily agony of robust life reduced to carcass, waiting for bodily functions to fail
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comforting words escaped me
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is there something good ? anything at all ?
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the finality & cruel indignity of existing until you die, all intervention fruitless – watching the clock tick, waiting
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in the US yesterday was independence day
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for each of us everywhere today & every day is independence day
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someone lived their life fully, robustly & with passions – made choices, pleased some, displeased others – was his own man !
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the choices left in the waning days might be few; milk or juice ? see this friend or relative ? . . or not ? take this pill . . . or not . . . or not – freedom to make some choices, however few
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so much of what we do is based on initiative, drive, desire & choices
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Nike invites us to ‘just do it !’
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make a tiny choice today – appreciate that for many people, that is the only kind of choice they can make . . . help me show my friend that ‘something good comes from this’
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Mark

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+9C, partly cloudy, calm
. . .
a short walk across the road, 1 doe in the field; Gusta feels shortchanged but she will get a big honkin’ long walk later this morning
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the 4th of July; for our American friends another day of rest & time to wave the flag in celebration of their Independence Day
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“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company. “ - George Washington
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for many Canadians it is another day of rest; for most it is back to work
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the business meeting; necessary, always too long, rarely effective – it seems the fewer people involved the more effective; the more that are involved the boredom factor seems to affect all but one person in the room
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my meeting today is a 1 on 1 with a new client so I have a chance of coming back quickly & happy; wouldn’t that be nice ? so begins my 2nd half of this year
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yesterday was full; Carla departed for home & I did my late night newsletter work
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for me today is a back to work day & I am da- - - - - shing to a meeting !
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Mark
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Mark - thanks for the birthday wishes. Only got 3 holes of golf in on my birthday as lightning and rain cancelled the game. Had a nice visit with good friends though. Hugs, AW

+12C, clear, steady breeze
. . .
Carla joined me again as we followed Gusta along a familiar path with many dog sniffing opportunities this morning
. . .
we had lunch with my dad yesterday & took Gusta to the off-leash area [she’s not ready yet !!] & hung out; we went to Wayne’s for bagels & Heartland Café for coffee & Gusta the chick magnet sniffed many women & children; she will leave soon to visit her maternal grandmother & then journey home to Edmonton – her visit brief, her importance in my life so much greater than she could imagine, until one day she is in her 50’s & sees her best work walking around in their 20’s
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this day’s blank page invites me, teases me, toys with me
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it demands I spill my feelings & my failings, paint my dreams & my nightmares
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it is no better a blank page each day – it is just a blank page; always a page, always blank
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today it begs a short simple clear picture of who I am, what kind of person I am to know, what kind of ‘new adventure’ I might be in someone’s life, what kind of servant I might be to a new client, what kind of dad I am to my children, what kind of son I am
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I shine & glow a little each day with new puppy relish & enthusiasm – but mostly I reflect to others ideas & queries I decide are worthy of us that day; often I fall short, often not
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to find resonance, find a home, find familiarity – or to find critique & counterpoint
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some times to find disdain & raw pain & sometimes just plain raw
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each day on this page I prove we are not alone, we are not lonely, we are not unique, we are all spokes of this wheel; each yearning for the connection with someone who has something special in common
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not the mundane, the easy, the overdone
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but to reveal that bizarre or embarrassing thought we keep secretly hidden from view – the magic when someone says ‘me too’
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the syrupy feeling we have but would never tell – till we read someone admitting, yearning to let that one out
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this blank page commands a better description of the human condition than it has seen; often falling short, often provoking response that would dazzle any literary critic
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many times this page says ‘again, half as long’; this page says ‘don’t pander, don’t ponder’; this page says spill if out when you are in pain, spill it freely when you are joyful; spill it out when you are ambivalent as you would when your belly aches for clear words
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find clear thoughts as window into yourself
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a window
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that’s it
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a window
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this page is a window – me on one side – you on the other, every day
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every day
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some days that window is crystal clear, some days smudged
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some days we wipe it together – as if our hands touch through the glass
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Mark
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Thanks Mark... this is interesting.... sounds like a great initiative to connect people who have been separated by crazy urban lifestyles and governments, and other structures, that keep us in boxes (only if we allow it)! Danke schoen! , FA in Calgary...

+13C, overcast, thunderstorms likely
. . .
father & daughter match groans & panting as we worked out at stairmaster hill as Carla joined us for the trek to Fish Creek & back while Gusta cruised for twigs & small lumber, finally extracting something dead from the tall grass
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I find mid year a better time for reflection that year end/Christmas time; time to see how things are going & consider change of course . . . or not
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I struggle a little each year in May/June; I struggle to determine & separate that which is working out more slowly than I thought from that which is not working out at all
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as I ‘imagine better ways to achieve desired results’, I ponder if it is time to redefine & examine those desires ?
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my desire to work hard comes from childhood training; a work ethic instilled by example rather than lecture; thirst for ideas grew from seeds planted along the way by influential figures; lust for business & independence inspired by mentors who taught both bad habits & some good ones too
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not many years ago I would have described a desire for robust business that would provide sustained success & wherewithal, a byproduct of which would be the opportunity to revel in a my desires; a decadent mix of travel, golf, writing & w-relationship-fun & comfortable lifestyle
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today I don’t think I have necessarily evolved to a higher level of consciousness or anything profoundly zen-like, but I find myself reversing the order a little
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comfortable lifestyle remains a very nice thing, but it has fallen down the priority list; relationships & ideas have risen to take its position
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I still thrill at the adrenaline rush of ‘the deal’ or the relax-factor that comes with a fat bank account & pursuit of ‘good life’ playtime, but pursuit of ‘that great life’ is overshadowed by the pursuit of a life more engaged with values, more intrigued by people, more focused on why am getting where I am going than how I am getting there – all the while dealing with the self inflicted post-marriage/start new business impecunious period that has lingered a little too long !
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I am at a point of jumping off ; not a cliff, but perhaps a change of direction, of focus
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to create some things new which work, or to do something tried & true in a new form that is timely, perhaps a new experience not yet dreamt ?
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I dunno; it would be nice to be more confident & certain . . . maybe one day soon
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for my navel gazing malady, for today at least, I will read & write & play with my first born & my dog
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I had a great brunch visit with LL yesterday; tales of her trips & the glow of a happy relationship with her new fella warmed up an already warm day; hanging with Carla today [she drove down last evening from Edmonton for the weekend] . . lunch planned with HK . .
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Toastmaster & golf buddy & dear friend AW gets another ring on her trunk today . . . happy birthday
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Mark
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musings posted daily @ http://markismusing.blogspot.com & http://markismusing.blog-city.com