Musing

Okay - we need to see a pic of Gusta. And that's that!!, DJ, Calgary
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Re: risks and other things hello mark ......... my weekends are busy so was a bit late in getting to read your weekend's musing ... love the way u explore what's on your mind, albeit sometimes tongue in cheek, methinks! ....but when i read what u write sometimes i find myself exploring myself too! ...... someone told me four years ago just after my separation, take a chance, be a risk taker, that person, although he doesn't even know it, enriched my life, altered it's quality and my goals, ......before that, i agree with u, i was only half alive, my life incomplete, .......u take a risk every day in writing down and publishing your thoughts, but i am sure your life is enriched by it, just the connection u have with your many readers , knowing that they are absorbing what u say, agreeing, disagreeing, being confused by, laughing at or with u, learning a little, learning a lot, exploring with u as i am tonight, (which is a risk for me too)........must be reward in itself for the risk taken!...but it's exciting though isn't it? .........win some lose some, learn from, never regret, wake up tomorrow and begin again!....... it's all about keeping life simple and balanced ......and your mind open!........ walked for miles this evening in this lovely crunchy white snow, watched a most beautiful sun set, the whole sky turning shades of pink and orange and gray in the west while this almost half moon rose in the east, stood there in awe and then ended up having to walk home in the dark with my hands freezing so bad that they hurt, ...yes, this blonde has a lot to learn about winter in canada, ........going shopping for a coat and gloves tomorrow! , CS, Morningside

-11C/13F, clear & calm, Gusta trying to get her sea legs navigating choppy parking lot, sidewalk & roadway ice; lagoon still frozen

to answer to SB’s query, yes I have run away from things – but – when we have not dealt with what we are running from, the running is circular, spiral & downward – returning us usually to where we started only more frustrated, more confused & more at a loss than ever before

now, running TO something, toward something; running for ourselves – not for others, running on full or empty but running toward a goal, albeit a humble one, truly gets us somewhere; I prefer a runway runaway experience – it gets me to that paradise, thinking about it I can go there anytime I want, like right now; no tricks, what a treat

several body parts are involved in running away or returning to start over: backbone, funny bone, some brain cells, a comfy belly & a big pile of nerve

some people ask my why I have such a strong desire to revisit Maui for my runway runaway instead of trying somewhere else

some people are the real deal while some just flash or flirt with the idea; which are you?

my answer is more than beaches, golf courses & tropical delights + Maui weather today: Partly cloudy. Highs 80F to 85F. Northeast winds 10 to 15 mph; Maui weather tonight: Partly cloudy with isolated showers. Lows 61 to 67. Northeast winds around 10 mph. Chance of rain 20%; OK . . look outside; tell me where you would rather be

I had a great sleep; I’ve done 3 hours of work already but scarcely made a dint, haven’t read a paper yet & cleaners (they just love 2 weeks of Gusta shedding to clean up) arrive at 9 so this written in pieces

OK . . cleaners arrived .. gotta go now

trick or treat!

Mark

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Today’s musing struck a familiar chord. That first truly magnificent snowfall with the air fresh, crisp, and cool, standing outdoors staring at an indigo coloured starry sky, with ”clouds” of sparking snow all around makes one realize we are but a speck in the universe and a much higher being must have created it in order for us to experience the wonder, awe and joy of the moment., BR, Calgary

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Do u ever . . . Feel like just running away and never coming back?, SB, Calgary

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Mark, this is a remarkable musing. I really needed to hear this as the weather cools down and I retreat to my lair..., PV, Kingston NY

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Hi Mark, Thanks for your note regarding time and space, I have come to the conclusion that every life was created for a purpose, many people go through their entire life trying to figure out why they are here on this earth. Through my own personal journey of life’s circumstances I now know that God has created each one of us for the purpose of having a relationship with Him. There is a God space in each human heart that only He can fill. Once God came into my “heart space” my life has been changed in so many ways and for the better. May the peace of God that only He can fill be found by you today, CM, Calgary

-14C/7F, I was slow & sleepy this morning from working ½ the night; cold with mercury dropping a few more degrees in the last few hours, our walk brought my chilled cheeks to life & my face too - Gusta seemed perplexed as flights of geese failed to land on the lagoon, now totally ice covered; instead she sniffed familiar sights, plowing up snow with her nose; it is bbbbbrrrrrrrlovely out there

I took more than a minute – nearly an hour – this morning for reflection before tucking into raspberry smothered cereal; no crawling traffic, no Monday morning clatter/buzz or rushing

I took some time to stare out at a brilliant white blanket of snow lit by the most brilliant empty blue sky – other than my vista missing palm trees, I’d call it paradise found; whether you watch ducks & geese searching for still open water on now frozen lagoon as I just did or looking out on ANY landscape, recognize that whatever big things we are doing today that they are infinitely small compared to the magnitude of anything truly splendid on this planet

why don’t you stop, take a minute – your minute - or take an hour or take as long as you need, take a decade, take longer

the earth will not cease or accelerate revolving if you just take a little time to marvel at things beyond yourself this morning – or take a quiet coffee break walk without the coffee, without the Monday morning chit-chat

how long we take is not important, but what matters is taking time to balance our lives with something much bigger than ourselves

spend some time silently today, just look outside or be outside when you do it & look outside yourself too

don’t ice yourself over when looking over the ice offers so much more

running late . . must work now

the next ice age is coming, but we need more warming first – give someone some of your warmth, give it to the most deserving person you know - yourself

Mark

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Through your musings, you manage to share the very essence of yourself. It is so refreshing to the people who are privy to your website. A very special place you have created for us. I like it. I also feel you are so intelligent, the plateau of your existence is hard to get up on. I wont respond to your musing site, but may write you in accordance to your daily treasures - colorful and exacting. You make me think !, KS, Kahului, Hawaii

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Wow, what a morning…fall back and fall into the SNOW. I have a small business strategy club and I would love to have you come and speak at in on your approach to life… We meet every Monday or so and I like your story would be a great one…on your zest for life…and something outside of the daily rat race… Would you be interested in talking for 30 mins. or so…on what you have achieved… Cheers, SC, Calgary

-7C/20F, Gusta loves it but the ducks & gulls on the pond look like they want to ream out their travel agents; windy, accumulation overnight & lots of damp snow coming down; our walk delayed while I cleaned out the storage closet in search of winter hiking shoes only to realize they were in the trunk of my car; my investment of time did not produce shoes, but it generated NEW space in the storage closet!

late night bite at Bonterra with SB was fun, as was the movie (you will never again think of the monarchy or cabbage without a chuckle once you see Queen)

time & space - do we really take up anything else?

whether we are living on the edge, over the top or hiding from life’s risks, time & space is all we have; I get to move around just about anywhere I want but the space that concerns me most is the space between me & those who matter to me; across town, across the continent, flying in a plane or parked in an alley, dining a la carte or making KD, reading or writing, walking fast or sleeping deep

time must have stopped, or maybe I was just drained - I forgot to adjust my clock last night; as a result I was up & working for an hour before I realized it was just about time to get up; all clocks reset now - I turned back time

turning back time is a silly notion, idle distraction, impossibility for certain because Jules Verne is long gone; there is no turning back, no retreat – only advances; we move forward, stand still or die but living, real living, is not about going back to retroactively reverse a decision or an occurrence from a long time ago if only in our mind

that is without point or purpose

old clichés about making our bed, then lying in it come to mind; so convenient I think to imagine there is truth of any kind to that cliché; there never was

we make our circumstances; we also get to change our circumstances, but only in the present & future tense; we get to pursue what interests us whether for a minute, two minutes or decades

to 'turn back the clock’' , more than clever pun or metaphor, is part of every day life; Madison Avenue tells us it is good; good for business at least because we are the ultimate conspicuous consumerism generation on a scale that will likely never be surpassed; nonetheless we dye hair, we buy sports cars, we buy spandex - we attempt to re-live our youth vicariously through consumer products, through our children, through many activities or at least in our conversations & quiet thoughts; everybody's doing it

it can feel good, but is it good?

if yes, why is it good?

perhaps not; I don't think it is about recapturing youth as much as it is giving us the delusion we are making change choices of any real significance while we clearly avoid change - that is far closer to typical behaviour in our enlightened society; perhaps we are not as enlightened as we would like to believe; we are creatures of habit far more than creatures of thought

buying a product or service does not change thoughts or attitudes; waxing this or trimming that, eating less or exercising more, driving this or wearing that, kissing her or pursuing him – each of these activities is quite easy because NONE of them involve a brain change of any kind

none of the things we conveniently call ‘change’ are; HOME DEPOT & Martha Stewart lead our generation to the cash register so we can create nice things, do a makeover in our kitchens & bathrooms but none of them makeover who we are & self help rarely helps self as much as it helps booksellers, publishers & writers

Halloween is nigh, a reminder of the many masks many of us wear; conveniently stored in our mental closet we portray what we wish was true, what we think would play well with others without examining very much very deeply

but, was the choice you made last evening a good one? why is the way you spent time the other day, the person you met last week or the way you spend this afternoon so important?

going through motions works, but inaction profoundly affecting us, or our world, is rare

to affect change requires some form of deliberate action, however small

but, does it matter?

only if we care about the result more than we care about talking wistfully about a result without actually changing anything

inaction is a great word; a space inserted in the right place produces 'in action'; a profound meaning shift with one touch of the space bar

the smallest of things alter the course of human history, changing the world

just changing one little element of our own life is mind candy worth tasting; someone wrote me asking how much space I need in a relationship; a good question but how to answer?

I’ve met people where the distance from here to the moon is not enough space, I’ve met someone where the thickness of a single chest hair or the scantiest scanty panty seemed too much

we can all do the mental exercise of 'what would have happened if I had been in a different era?', or in a different family, a different country, met a different mate, had some experience somewhere else, with someone else or done something a little radical, something a little out of character; all these could have changed little, or altered the course of human history

none of us can retreat in our lives to tweak those things; we CAN tweak what we do today, this evening, tomorrow & next week

we make changes by deliberate as opposed to passive activity; lots of things will happen around us which affect us, but, then we are only reactive

proactive is a different story; think about it - whether riding a bus, an elevator, a plane or a chair left, a chance meeting may profoundly affect your life

some things change nothing, some things change everything; better said, our experiences with someone we meet, however innocuously, can change our lives – or maybe just the course of a single day

how do we determine who will impact our life, or who won't?

few will, unless we do something about it

once a year I turn back time, once a year I clean that storage closet

I live a complex life on simple terms; I am taking up a little space over here near the edge

if you can manage the time, come join me

it is not crowded & I have new space in my closet

Mark

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ReMARKable man, you are brain tonic! Love your picture and I am amused by your musings. Would love to talk more, DR, Calgary

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Good musings today. "Full" is different for different people - different strokes for different folks; enough is plenty and so on, SH, Calgary

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Mark, I admire your zest for life! I think that too many people coast through life, looking for the "easy way", avoiding the tough decisions, avoiding discomfort and ultimately becoming very bland! For me the biggest risk of all in life is to become boring, and leave this world quietly! “The journey of life is not to arrive at the grave safe and well preserved. It is to slide in sideways totally worn out, shouting “Holy ****, what a ride!” – unknown , :-) , KD, Ottawa

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Hey Mark, How're things? I can't believe how fast time has passed us by, though we are savoring every moment of it. Hope things are going well. I enviously read your daily musings and wish for rain, or at least colder weather. And I can't help but be thankful every day for my family and friends like you, LR, Irvine

-5C/23F, a trip downtown; before errands it was great to stop at the Heartland Café for a fresh-outta-the-oven cinnamon bun before Gusta & I walked along the Bow – chilly prospect as fog was just starting to lift; joggers in spandex always make for interesting people watching except for the ones with legs like anorexic shore birds; farmer’s market stop for berries, bagels & bread entertained - excessive makeup, outrageous Halloween costumes on those ‘farmers’ + lots of frightening shoppers too, some in costume

if we ignore risk’s existence, how can we call ourselves alive?

when a person who could enrich our lives, alter the quality of our lives or change the direction or the goals of our life - that is far more than a ‘paradise lost’ or some form of pain or an opportunity for choice; we take the risk of having a life that is not full, neither lost or found it is incomplete

not to say anyone is running on empty, but if we are not striving for full, why bother?

risk is inherently there every moment every day; it’s existence is not our choice but rather an unavoidable inevitable circumstance – there to be lost or found

when I explore someone, I am at the same time exploring myself; sure there is endless story-telling, examination of the issues I think matter, answering questions to satisfy someone else’s curiosity, two people learning lots sometime, just as often – learning little

it can be a new client referral, a date, a potential mate or a casual meeting of someone in a lineup or when we answer a wrong-number call; all of these encounters provide us at least the chance for a Malcolm Gladwell kind of ‘blink’ if not an in-depth interview

recent encounters meeting new people has been joyful or painful or both; those first meetings, first opportunities to spend time together is like visiting a new place for a first time; the terrain is unfamiliar, knowledge of history & local customs must be learned first hand (no guide book), hazards are not marked with warning signs – like looking through a lost & found box having no idea what might turn up; but knowing the thing we were looking for is somewhere else

the issue du jour (every jour) in business is 'is it real, is it worth it, can I win?' while the issue du jour in every personal relationship is 'how does it feel, what are they made of, do I want to know the depths & measure of this person?' . . . which, in many ways is the same whether lost or found

the difference is the indifference – or not – we feel

if a business opportunity passes by or slips away because of disinterest, there will be another along any second now; what might be lost or found comes & goes swiftly

opportunity to fail is everywhere (again, no signs) yet we go for it even though we know how disastrous the costs (human costs having nothing to do with money)

the invitation to explore seems so innocent, the risk so small

innocent, it rarely is

no such thing as a small risk any more than a large one; it is just risk; each day we each take the same one, the same large one

that risk is to make it from wakeup to tomorrow's wakeup in one piece with peace won; we need to arrive at tomorrow alive & thirsting for more

if you buy my premise, your every day is fraught with risks & opportunities without regard for whether you want it to be

unexplored territory & people have so much in common, we may travel where we think we want to go, but we invariably find something else, someone else, somewhere else

it is still me, but I find new dimensions, new direction, new drivers, new goals & new pitfalls every time I look; knowing that, I enjoy looking to find new things in others whether or not they are oblivious to what is changing for them – if they are vital, they will find it

if not, they will find something else

I choose to accept the risk rather than ignore its existence

it does not matter if you say 'I will not take a risk', because you are at risk on so many fronts whether or not you think about or believe you are making a decision about it

life is risk, absence of risk is no life

it is lifelessness

Mark

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Have you ever read The Celestine Prophecy? I am new to your musings but I think you would enjoy this book, SW, Calgary

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As I read your Musing today, an ever-broadening smile crept across my face. I was audibly chuckling (in the office, no less) by the end of it. With your increasingly frenetic pace and the aptly chosen verbiage of the message (you are truly and enviably a master word-smith), I could picture you bouncing off the walls - with a satisfied smile on your face. I too am a committed caffeine addict, since my late teens (about 45 years ago), and I am completely unapologetic for it. I like it. I gather that you do as well. So, enjoy the "true brew" and rejoice in any newly-returned energy spurts. "Coffee makes the world go 'round, the world go 'round" to paraphrase a movie tune of a couple of decades ago! All the best, JN, Newmarket

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Wiser Geyser is a definite fit. Laughing too hard to write my thoughts on saving our words to savour them, VJP, DeWinton

1C/34F, overcast & gusty; convinced it was an edible critter Gusta chased a large leaf moving sporadically along the pavement – 2 blocks of hilarious stops & starts

congrats to NB who turns fifty today, all downhill from here Nancy but WOW, what a ride you can have with a spirited approach - keep those ice cubes handy in case of overheating

it might not have been like giving up something for Lent, but my month without coffee just had to come to an end

my switch back will not diminish an newfound appetite for hot water throughout the day, but my caffeine craving could no longer be denied

my day, my thoughts, my energy is percolating this morning

could it be just the coffee?

to do, think, work, play, create, build, develop, taste, trash, move, stay, up or down, a euphoric ride or romp; whatever the activity, motivation does not come from a cup of coffee or even 5 before 9

it might come ‘over a cup of coffee’, but not because of a marvelous black elixir alone

motivation comes from me, from you, from deep deep inside

from that place where need meets ideas meets desire & energy

it percolates & comes out like a geyser;

too often we go about our business cushioning the blow for others; nurturers nurture, enablers enable, preachers preach, pretentious folks pretend, sufferers suffer – in order to insulate others from reality; more about failure to put themselves (individuals, business units, organizations or companies) at the head of the line; we live in a society where our caretaking, care-giving & charitable nature is too

maybe I am a wiser geyser, maybe I am just percolating, maybe I am a little buzzed from reintroducing coffee to my veins

must go now; a busy day awaits & meeting someone for coffee @ 10

Mark

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9C/45F, humidity is gone for the year I am afraid; a nice kind of breezy but the dryness is a sharp contrast all of a sudden; Gusta sniffed her way along in the dark this morning obliviously not knowing that 3 days from now it will be much darker & later as daylight saving time ends

to KD regarding your comments yesterday: the note I should send would a thank-you note given the time & grief I was saved through an early revelation of character (yes, there was more to the story that I did not write about) . . thanks for your good observations

if my agenda was a dinner plate, mashed potatoes & gravy would be spilling over the side this morning, but I am confident I will have it all cleared up by mid January (no point over-doing my zealousness) before I visit MY Maui beaches – booking it today

it could be a trip to anywhere, to see different places, different people – but why fly so far to be alone?

I could be relaxing alone anywhere, so why is another trip to Maui so important?

aside from feeling familiar with the island or my desire to live there part of the year at some point, it is a place where I feel incredibly connected to my innards, to my planet, to the forces of nature, to the peacefulness & calm, to MY beaches, to my sense of self

every time I find myself in such a place I am not insulated from anything – just the illusion of that – but I can reach inside somehow to look at things from a different angle, to wrestle with understanding myself a better

each time I’ve been there, each time I’ve taken an ‘escape for a while’ trip I have had epiphany scale experiences – a reinforcement that this is MY life, MY power to take control over any element of MY life I want to; this is true any day anywhere but squeezing reflection in between calls & meetings is pretty challenging

an overflowing plate seems so much easier to handle today; the trip is nearly 3 months away, but knowing I am going lightens my load

Maui is my relief valve, not so much to let out steam, but to balance pressures, balance values, balance my life

as for ‘alone’, I likely will be . . . or maybe I’ll invite someone to join me

humidity, humility & a beach where footprints can last a few seconds or all day

I’m walking there right now in my mind

time to take that time

I feel so much better already

Mark

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Mark, A comment on today's musing. The impression I get from your writing is that if someone takes offence to something you write then that is their problem, and yes you are absolutely right ... but it can be much more than that too. Point 1. I think that sometimes the timing of your writings can coincide with activities in your personal life that will give the impression that the two are related, that is natural. Whether they are related or not is really immaterial, because to the other party they are related. So as the writer I think you could anticipate such feelings and maybe soften things by pre-warning those who might otherwise be offended. Point 2. It has been my experience that some of my best relationships have come from "rocky starts" so maybe, if that promising lunch is important enough, a handwritten card to patch things up might result in a good second-start. Hey ... just opinions!, KD, Ottawa

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Regarding cause and effect... Rule # 1: Ask questions first THEN you can get mad as hell or laugh at yourself. I'd say lucky escape. Had a few of those myself. CH, Chimacum

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Perhaps you should have mentioned your toy drawer. Maybe that would provide some success, NB, Calgary

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Hi – you do get yourself into some interesting situations …. Sleepovers, was I one of the ones that laughed until milk came out my nose? I am reading a book by Dave Hingsburger. “I Contact” I have nearly finished it. He is awesome. I am going to use his work for a lesson plan in human sexuality. Thank you for telling me about him and your experiences at his workshop. So much of what he says applies to all of us. Too bad about your Friday night, DB, Calgary

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hi there busy man .............my laptop/thinkpad finally arrived today, i thought i would support local and ordered it from the computer guy in ponoka two days after i got here, well guess being patient and waiting nearly three weeks is part of what country life is about, .............anyway spent much of the day catching up with mail etc.....and have now just gotten around to your musings, ...........had to just skim/speed read through them cos i was tying up the business line (still on dial up cos of poor reception area)....thanks for your mention of me, never been called courageous before so a hug for u for that ...........thanks too for taking the time to chat with me that afternoon ......really liked your voice and our discussion, u are most certainly an interesting man and i already liked the way your head works! ........today's musing made me think that like me, u have learned not to sweat the small stuff........that way u can keep your mind clear for the important things in life ......... like the cause and effect and the fun of a sleepover! ....... my adventure continues, loved the snow, was told not even canadians walk out in it like i did, but i suspect that u do?......... loving the sunshine of this week too ......... am in the process of negotiating with the local garage owner for some wheels so that i can get out a bit .......... keeping this short cos i know u are busy ........ CG, Morningside

-2C/29F, clear except for a band of gray on the horizon as another perfect day arrives; Gusta
enjoyed her romp around the lagoon & her visit with a little show dog, while the Scottie's owner declined to so much as grunt a Good Morning or a nod; sometimes dog & owner behaviour seems incongruent

when I was much younger I would blame others when things were bad, when the news was bad or my mood was bad or if someone wanted something other than ‘my way’ – I was the victim, someone else was the cause, full stop; the notion that something was caused by me or simply by circumstance was nowhere in my brain – I was the victim with a need to fix blame

two people who know me really well laughed till milk came out their noses (actually there was no milk involved, but you get my point) about my piece the other day about sleepovers; someone who knows me scarcely reacted differently - judged be, thought I was writing about her, got horribly offended & ended what was looking like a nice beginning – it now seems I’m going to be free Friday night instead of cooking dinner

I try to decipher the mystery of unexplained behaviour; if it matters to me in some way I’ll spend energy on it, if it does not matter I am more likely not to bother; regardless of the scale, source or subject, it makes me curious

cause remains a mystery much of the time, effects vary; I’ll discuss & debate it for a while, not for long, but for a while

every day I react, as we all do, to what is going on around us; every day we listen to some, tune out others, focus on some, dismiss others, show extreme curiosity or obliviously ignore

what makes the difference between the things that make us sit up, take notice, take action?

is it the subject matter, or the source; is it how information is presented or something else?

I can ignore drivel no matter my mood; even if the drivel is delivered by someone charming, drivel is drivel, but something important, something real, compelling & valuable usually leaks through no matter how bizarre the behaviour of the source

meeting new people, exploring people we know a little & drilling deeper with ones we know a little better yet – great mental gymnastics sometimes, surprising sometimes, always enlightening – sometimes fun, sometimes not, sometimes real, sometimes far removed from real

getting older, hopefully a little smarter along the way, I have no way to alter what comes my way – bad news is bad news, problems are problems; rarely any one person’s fault, no error by me or anyone else being the sole direct cause

the effect, these days, is to recognize that it is someone else's little drama - not mine; what cause, what effect can make my day? what will wreck it?

the next conversation, the next meeting may yield surprises beyond our imagination - sometimes we are the cause, sometimes we are just seeing the effect

effect, my friends, rests solely within our grasp

Mark

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Congratulations on being Toastmaster of the Year for Division C. Way to go Mark! And you can claim to being a rookie at that time...well seasoned mind you. And well on the way to beating the "sophomore jinx". Regards, HB, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Please change my email address to XXXXX, NI, Calgary

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RE: worth the trip....Yep! Far better to aim for the stars and miss than to shoot at the ground and hit! It's all about the journey... Hope all is well. I am two weeks and 5 days away from a week in Mexico...and very ready for a literal trip, NC, Coupville, Washington

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Appreciated the simplicity of your entry re: the trip and life in general, thanks, KG, Calgary

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Perhaps we are aliens absent of understanding, not knowing from whence we'vecome or whither we go, sojournors - perhaps we seek a kingdom not of thisworld? JP-Calgary

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Thank you Mark for the birthday wishes - I appreciate your thoughtfulness!, SM, Calgary

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Thank you for a lovely evening Mark. I didn’t mention how very much I enjoy reading your blog every day. I do tremendously. When I see your thoughts...I yearn to get the creative juices flowing again and attempt to try my hand at writing. These days I write it all down in a journal. I’ve done that for 2 yrs now, GG, Calgary

6C/42F, clear sky, a band of pink in the horizon - brighter now - starts the day; our walk a quiet one, chillier than the temp. would imply

thanks to my former REIX Board colleagues for your recognition & appreciation – I enjoyed most of you most of the time, some not at all, some more than all the rest – you know which you are; I had a nice time last night, a beautiful beef tenderloin dinner @ the Ranchman’s Club (hard to imagine they would know how to cook fish!) + a plaque as a retiring board member; I really enjoyed 4 yrs but would rather have had another 4 yrs. than a plaque

some cars, tires & women get great mileage; remembering a woman’s birthday is, for some a complement, for others an insult – especially if they have a ‘thing’ about age - requires tact & diplomacy; if they all aged as gracefully as LM & SM (happy birthday) then they should not sweat the small stuff any more than they should be concerned about the next turn of another 100,000 on the odometer; they are not old, they are young, they are better than ever, today they are 1 day closer to a new future – so are you

traveling through Canada, traveling around the world or just traveling through life, I get to choose my destination every day, I get to choose traveling alone or not, traveling toward someone or away from somewhere – every day I get to change my mind, alter my destination, re-define my route in any way I want – this is freedom of choice, this is freedom to choose

‘All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware.’ - Martin Buber

life is a continuous crooked path, the road is constantly presenting those forks that lead to surprises that both Robert Frost & Yogi Berra describe so well; I wonder, if we consciously try to figure it out, if we have one sweet clue about where we are on the path, or if it really matters as much as choosing to move down some path to somewhere

the next destination may show up in a minute, a day or a month; it may show up in the twinkling of an eye, be tucked somewhere nearer some bottom line or something we make up as we are going along

forward, or back, re-living the past, or creating a future – these are important questions

where are you headed ?

pointed toward today’s destination gives me no assurance of reaching it, ever, yet I’ll be somewhere down a path, somewhere further away from that which I choose to leave behind, that much closer to a new place, a new goal, a new destination

maybe, more important than where we were, the way we were or where we’ve come from, what matters most is where we think we are going

tic toc . . I think I better get going

‘A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving’. – Lao Tzu

I do not always know how I will get there, but I have hopes, dreams & desires - they are my destinations - whether I travel a little or a lot to find them, the trip is a trip like no drug could ever deliver

always worth the trip

Mark

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Hi Mark, I have been reading your musings over the past couple of months. I find myself looking forward to each new one. It is a wonderful gift to be able to write out your thoughts and also to take a thought and run with it. I would think that ability provides you with a much clearer understanding of who you are and where you are at this point in your life. I think most of us are searching but don't necessarily know what it is we are searching for. Mid life changes are challenging especially when your children are grown up and move away. I miss the daily contact and sharing in their lives. But I am blessed with Gracie - my beautiful, loving Golden Retriever. We too walk everyday and that is such a pleasure. We run in the morning at 5:30 before going to work and then it is off to the off leash park at the end of the day for ball chasing and frolicking with her friends. I find too that when you look at your parents you wonder when it was that they became old. It is wonderful your Dad is in Calgary and you spend time with him. My parents live in the east so for me it is a flight down there 3 to 4 times a year - I would enjoy them being in the same city. It is always a pleasure to get together with friends both new and old. Very important. Have a wonderful, insightful week, GT, Calgary

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I just noticed that in your new picture, between the siding of the house and the tree, is a triangle of white that leads up to your musing,...just like the triangles below the cartoon character balloons leading to their voice parts. How very appropriate,...... Have a great day, AK, Calgary

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Thanks for sharing the story about dinner with your Dad... 5 operations??? Yikes! Interesting how chemical and Medical profession actually impacts the health of all of us, in the aging process... This is why I am a proponent of the Chinese medicine model... I watched with horror ( and inability to interfere) how the Medical profession treated my aging father a few years ago... He was 92 and still living in his own home, mowing his own lawn, and driving to Coop and home with agility, FA, Calgary

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RE: to sleep over - Oct. 22 musing - Congrats - you silver-tongued devil! KK Calgary

6C/43F, a light breeze barely ripples the lagoon, sun rising now to greet a spectacular day; Gusta went walking in the lagoon but determined it was too cool for a swim

29 yrs. is such a short stretch; 29 yrs. ago I was 26 just as Krista is now; it seems like just yesterday

I had a belated Thanksgiving dinner yesterday with my dad; first I had a lingering cold, then he was feeling really ill – so it was time to get together

I am only 29 yrs. behind him; I wonder, when did he get old?

he shuffles about his condo without his walker, stooped, his body mis-shaped from a youth-ego-related injury + 5 back surgeries; this man who walks 9 laps around SouthCentre mall twice a week with his walker speculates maybe it is time to cut back a little; his furniture is re-arranged to make way for the walker & the scooter; he remembers anything from many years ago, but not the name of who he had dinner with the day before without looking it up – it was just yesterday

I thought I was paying attention but I didn’t notice all these changes, it wasn’t in the last few weeks or even last year, it wasn’t when he moved back to Calgary or when my mom died, it wasn’t during his working years – so when was it?

I sat there watching him manage ½ a Cornish hen, a mountain of salad, a foothill of risotto & apple pie - I caught him grinning as he showed an appetite I remember we both used to share; it wasn’t just the ‘good to the last bite’ – it was just yesterday

I look in my mirror – the 17 yr. old tennis player is still there, my 20’s days of work is still there, my 30’s & 40’s of child rearing is still there - they slipped by so fast; I see gray eating into the last of the brown, gray turning more white than gray - I wonder, when did I get old?

it was the company – not just my company, but any company; we live close, I should see him more often

I had dinner with my dad, it seems like it was just yesterday

it was

Mark
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…..here’s to the beginning, the middle and the end, DL, Calgary

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Good Morning – you make them sound like so much fun. I loved my kid’s friends staying over and the food they ate. Left over Ceasar salad was a favorite of one of Elly’s hockey mates. Next step was seeing them wake up from a night of drinking. Thankfully my kids kept them safe from driving. Then it went to kids from all over the world camped on the couch or in the spare bedroom. Biggest ones were the kids who were fighting with their parents who sought refuge with us and not the street. I think that sleepovers with a potential relationship should be mandatory. If you are not comfortable for one night how could it possibly be that you would be happy for ever after? I think camping is a good try out as well. It does get complicated as we age. Apparently I can sleep through anything thanks to years of sleeping with snoring pugs and mastiffs. How does that work with sleepovers if the dog generally sleeps in the bed? Glad you got home safe on Friday, DB, Red Deer

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Hello Mark, Great job as the Toastmaster on Saturday. You handled all the "blimps." Peace, DJ, Calgary

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Congratulations on being Toastmaster of the Year for Division C. Way to go Mark!, NV

-4C/26F, brilliant sunrise, clear & cold; Gusta attracted the attention of a yappy little lap dog that reminded me of Jack Layton – all yap, no substance

yesterday turned out OK . . I really enjoyed being a Toastmaster for 1/2 the Division C & J Contests + walking away with a Toastmaster of the Year trophy for Division C felt pretty good too

"I Have Learned 5 Things:
1. The sulfurous flame sunbeams in corners lightning like cracked glass the bulb of an idea your dark eyes all have one source
2. Pain is truer than people truer than a full plate truer than God
3. Joy is a suitcase packed with everyday things no beaded gowns, no hats no umbrella just pajamas, a toothbrush, sneakers. If it rains stand there soak up every drop like applause
4. I have learned that I want less: the sound of lake water lapping tadpoles listless in sun-heated shallows wispy grass, knobby reeds greeting me, my name caught in their raspy throats one or two clouds and a bird, maybe, if it doesn't sing
5. Old age is where you started, a child looking up at the light at jumbled faces at mouths hispering, "there, now, go back to sleep." – Elaine Christensen

when we are little kids, a sleepover is a pretty big deal; we pack some things, go to the birthday party or whatever the pre-text is for the event – then we wake up in a strange house with people we don’t know all around us, possibly a dog with a penchant for licking feet & faces, with unfamiliar choices for breakfast – waiting for mom or dad to collect us – like it is never going to end; we mutter ‘never again’, but we are young & have short term memory loss

when we grow up, sleepover is part of that mating/dating process we like so much, but then it turns to marriage which is the sleepover that never quits (I often wonder if my marriages might have lasted longer if we'd had fewer sleepovers, or maybe we should have had more - just not together)

‘Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.’ – Anthony Burgess

(I've learned to fore-warn of my snoring; not so much an aberation as it is a gentle melodic chainsaw sound that should please anyone’s ear, advising that earplugs might be in order)

when we have little children, having a sleepover is tons of fun that culminates in having 6 yr. olds named Patricia eat pickles for breakfast while a gaggle of pajama clad toddlers groggily start their day

when we get divorced, there are variations on the theme – though sleep has little to do with it

when we live alone, a sleepover can happen spontaneously whether or not we carry an ‘ever-ready bag’ in our car; dinner can become a sleepover, a movie can become a sleepover etc. etc

just like a speech or a piece of writing, the sleepover comes in various forms, but each has a beginning, a middle & an end - sometimes it is all about the middle, sometimes we cannot wait for it to end - a risk/reward continuum

there is the sleepover that you wish for but never comes

there is the un-invited sleepover that mixes pleasure(we hope) & tension

there is the surprise sleepover; the one where hygiene habits, snoring volumes & early morning behaviour can surprise as much as that 6 yr old pickle eater

however, having a dog to mind affects sleepover potential - but of course that depends on whether you are host or visitor

being a sleepover guest for dog owners requires going out about 10 PM & returning before 7 AM or there is a doggy-anger price to pay in terms of things chewed

being a sleepover guest for dog owners requires going out about 10 PM & returning before 7 AM or there is a doggy-anger price to pay in terms of things chewed; for those who must advise kids still at home that 'mom won't be home tonight' brings yet another dimension into play

being a sleepover host for dog owners requires little, especially if the visitor is bringing the dinner – but otherwise it is easy; the guest must rise early to go for a dog walk or else pack up to be gone by then which is the likely case if the guest is also a dog owner (see above)

most middle aged singles, when they do a sleepover, don't always do it because of romance as much as they do it because driving home alone late on a Friday or Saturday night to then sleep alone & wake up alone is enough to make one stay at home in the first place; when it is over, we sometimes mutter ‘never again’, but we are old & have short term memory loss

so . . the next time someone says c’mon over for dinner & bring your toothbrush, don’t be surprised if your whole life flashes before your eyes

sometimes, the benefit of having old friends visit, it is not the same - we can visit, mislay reading glasses, alter morning routines for a day, be OK with them leaving the toilet seat up & generally be ourselves without pretence, without any need to muffle the amount we snore or to shuffle our priorities for sex vis-à-vis sleep for a night or two

you need just pajamas & a toothbrush - to sleep, perchance to sleepover

I like sleepovers - I think I still do; sleepover; sometime soon I hope

‘it’s just a sleepover’ seems just as innocent as ‘it’s just a lunch’

gotta go . . lunch date

Mark

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What is it with our insatiable desire to survive in order to live another day? - fear of what we will lose/leave behind, fear of the unknown, fear of death itself? - is it simply our primal instinct/auto-mechanism, ie: "what a man/woman will do for a potato"? - JP-Calgary

1C/34F, fresh & calm, rain/flurries predicted; my heel is feeling much better so we walked fast but not fast enough for Gusta to catch up to her rabbit nemesis

yesterday was a great day on many fronts; BB & I had some great meetings, I had dinner @ the Noodle House with Krista & Trent + Krista sent back a great apple pie for my dad & I to share . . . not sure yet how much of it I will share with him

as I was driving home tired last night it struck me how lucky I was; white-knuckling in heavy traffic on a rainy night accentuates thoughts about risks & if that is not enough, then front page headlines about families being decimated by a car crash drive it home regularly

some days I want for more, for better, for this or that – but last night I just wanted to stay between the ditches – live another day, then another, then another

I was alive every minute yesterday – it was full, it was busy, it was fun – none of it will change the world just yet, but every day I live longer I have a chance to change it

I may not change the world today, or tomorrow - but I will

will you change the world?

why not!

Mark

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a human 'being' vs a human 'doing'?, JP, Calgary -- A lovely frisson of connectivity for me with your words, JP. Thanks for sharing, VJP, DeWinton

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In respect to "vantage point" - I truly believe suffering + adversity = clarity/truth (what 'is') . . . a slow but sure stripping away of Maya/illusion, our 'false'-self, our 'created after the image of the world'-self . . . suffering and adversity quenches our desire for all created things - nothing remains - self-less, primal oneness, perfect love . . . Perhaps the acceptance of this universal truth by 'choice' rather than by 'force' (and that without warning) would be a good thing to consider? JP-Calgary

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Mark: Oh my goodness, your musings are so understood! Nice to meet a man who has some depth, AH, Calgary

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‘A truly giving consciousness is the creative alternative to the worldly emphasis on winning through intimidation or succeeding through positive selfishness. It is the better way. And a committed giver is an incurably happy person, a secure person, a satisfied person, and a prosperous person.’ - Eric Butterworth in Spiritual Economics; I thought you might like this quote. I just realized it was Friday. Life seems to be moving by me in warp speed and I am not entirely sure I am enjoying it right now so your musings were once again right on target for me. I vowed that I would never put myself in this place of frenetic activity again. The good thing this time is my mind seems to be foggy. I thought about withdrawing from it all as I laid in bed last night. This morning I am rested and refreshed and gave myself the discipline and focus lecture. Go to work, be of service and enjoy life. On another note the Tuvian Throat Singers are sold out so the next I find out they are coming to Calgary I will buy tickets early. Hope you have great day and a lovely dinner with your girls, DB, Red Deer

(sent from an internet café on Jasper Avenue in Edmonton)

2C/36F, drizzling & strong winds in north Edmonton early this morning, now mixed with white flakes; Gusta rabbit chasing while I struggled to keep up, left foot functioning much better

a sprint to Edmonton & a late dinner last night with MM, great to catch up – it’s been too long; a full day of meetings awaits followed by dinner with daughter Krista & then driving back to Calgary this evening

postponed many times, finally we got together for a ‘get acquainted’ lunch yesterday – SB (yes, another one) explained how an illness changed her perspective on everything, making life, decisions & priority setting a complete breeze compared with before – learning that very few things are truly important, the rest it seemed just get in the way of clear vision

obvious choices are not complicated by the minutia of life – if we are the observer, while the observed cannot escape how each little issue may feel like the weight of the world; the struggle is to be free of all that to see clearly; SB had a life threatening cancer, now cured, that changed a vantage point in an instant

for most of us without a ‘change your perspective completely’ moment we thank our lucky stars it was not us yet we might have cause to envy the clear headedness that prevails for those who do

are we looking out or looking in - what do we see?; is something important in our lives or is it just something?

self examination is not looking in the mirror, or inward as much as it is a challenge to see ourselves without filters, biases & excuses – laid bare (innuendo probably intentional)

when we are in it/on it, when we are doing it, as we are traveling that path the struggle can be arduous while those of us who observe see it in more simplistic terms; overcoming obstacles to happiness, navigating barriers along the path & reaching a goal (hopefully one that will deliver the joy that is sought) – to that place we want to go is simple or complex depending on vantage point; plodding for some, the view from behind Mario Andretti’s steering wheel for others

are we all Monday morning armchair quarterbacks holding a strong notion of what is wrong with our neighbour, how to solve the challenges someone else faces – but with few clues to our own mess?; ability to navigate is a learned & practiced skill - or it is amateur hour?

figuring anything out effectively requires that we truly & fully define the problem; what is it that is wrong, what is it than can fix it, what is it that I – I alone – need to examine from a different vantage point in order to separate the real sound of my own drum from the noise?

weather my vantage point is high level, far away or up close – the choices I make take me somewhere, nowhere or somewhere else – rarely do I end up where it was I thought that I was going

someday, one day – someone will say, ‘this is that what you wanted, is it not?’

‘Yes, I guess’ is not my answer of choice

absolutely not

I prefer this:

‘no, but I am happy with what I’ve found’

Mark

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Someone asked Yakusan, who was sitting in meditation, "What are you doing here?" He replied, "I am not doing anything." "If so, you are sitting in idleness." "Sitting in idleness is doing something." "You say you are not doing anything, but what is this 'anything' that you are doing?" "Even the ancient sages know not," replied Yakusan. (Susuki, Studies in Zen, p.59) Was thinking of the 'St. Augustine' quote you used in contrast to your ideas on adventure . . . perhaps there's a balance in the equation, ie: a human 'being' vs a human 'doing'?, JP, Calgary

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Good advice, thanks, KG, Calgary

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A quick response to BB re good news and our everyday lives only being noteworthy (newsworthy) if bad things happen. I think things become noteworthy if something out of the ordinary happens. For instance, as I was biking through Fish Creek this evening a trick of light and shadow on the clouds created 'God rays'. For me, that is noteworthy and I am happy to report this news event to anyone I think is able to appreciate small moments of beauty. That being said I usually don't report it because too many people just don't care about these sorts of things, which brings to mind a quote by Albert Einstein: "He to whom this emotion [ sensation of the mystical] is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead." I guess that encompasses what I find important in life. By the way - enjoy your musings and wonder if I might run into you in the Park one day since I spend a fair amount of time down there., SH, Calgary

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Hello Mark, My name Is XXXXX in Calgary Alberta. I thought I should inform you, that I'm receiving some emails your sending. Possibly due to an error in address. I'd hate to deprive the individual, they're intended for. I just thought you might like to know. Take care, DM, Calgary

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Im sure todays musing was for my benefit.It hit so very close to home. Thankyou for that. Now to DO , TO GO...to seek..whatever.. I will certainly try. GG, Calgary

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regarding your musings this morning .......... I think I have too much excitement in my life right now, too much on my plate so I'm trying to cut back and remember to enjoy smelling the daisies. I'm trying to live as if I have only 20 minutes left to live- by doing what I enjoy doing the most - putting my feet up on a comfy couch and daydreaming, SM, Calgary

Hi Mark,I un-subscribed from your Facility Calgary mailing list as news of real estate issues in Calgary doesn't have much relevance to me. However, the musings seem to have stopped too. I look forward to being reinstated. Best wishes from Shelagh in England where the weather is still lovely and warm and the trees are determinedly hanging on to their leaves, SK, Suffolk

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Good luck with your lunch and I enjoyed your musings. Good luck with the book direction., KG, ?

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Hi Mark, Just a thought, I like what I read from you each morning....would you like to do coffee??? Just coffee and honest conversation! How about it?, MS, Calgary

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Here are some thoughts on good news vs. bad news. I got to thinking about what good news would like from a media perspective. "In the news today; Korea did not test a nuclear device, untold numbers of people safely made it from home to work and back again, globally between 4 and 5 million people successfully took off and landed in airplanes, millions of marriages didn't break up and billions of people were not adversely impacted by war in the countries in which they live." Overly simplistic perhaps but really would any of us watch, listen to or read news the good news was all that was reported? But perhaps more importantly I got wondering if this bad news perspective in our media isn't merely a reflection of how we look at our own personal worlds. On any given day if our primary relationships are stable, if we got to and from where we were going without mishap, if we and those important to us were healthy and if we were comfortably housed, fed and employed, how much time do we spend noticing how good we have life? We are quick to notice (and complain) when things don't go the way we think they should, but how quickly do we notice when they are as good or better then we expect them to be? Is your drive home from work notable, i.e. newsworthy, if it goes without incident or only if something bad happens like someone cuts you off or you get stuck in a traffic jam? When was the last time you complimented your children for behaving vs. reprimanding them for misbehaving? When was the last time you not only noticed but acknowledged all the good things your partner contributes to your life instead of pointing out the latest thing they are doing that irritates you? In other words do you live your personal life from a good news perspective or a bad news perspective? BB, Calgary

3C/37F, warming, spectacular sunrise shaping up; a short slow walk around the lagoon - my left foot is acting up again; ice-gel packs helping but moving slow & easy

go easy, ease into it slowly

some people try but they can’t keep it up

they try really seriously, but cannot sustain it

they can be firm in their resolve for a while, but not long; they can be straight to the point, then they waver; they can be strong & focused but without staying power

why the difficulty - it is so easy & simple to communicate, right?

so simple that so much of our time gets consumed with he said-she said, what did he mean by that?, what was she implying?

I hate that

I like meeting someone where two people can just launch into a conversation without the superficiality; I like that so much better

connecting with someone for the first time – potential new friend, a call from a new client prospect, a new neighbour or a staffer in a store – we encounter so many people every day for the first time; I find this an interesting study

sometimes it is about 'first impressions', how we make them & what we make of them; how to be at ease without hype or stress or sweaty palms

sometimes it is about getting to the point, but more often it is about getting the communication going quickly on a level that suits us, that is effective & where we get through the pretentious politically correct crappolo that so often gets in the way; case in point – meeting MH yesterday – it turned out we had some things in common & huge differences but could easily talk without the junk getting in the way

not being at ease inhibits effective communication, it prevents getting to know someone at all or at least prevents it happening quickly

sometimes old friends serve an extraordinary purpose; beyond the friendship & the caring there is such comfort in not having to struggle with superficial pretensions; I can call an old friend & talk for a minute or an hour about something deeply personal, intimate or ribald – it doesn’t matter – it is so easy

clearly speaking, honesty & directness seem off-putting to a lot of people I encounter, in fact some of them can't handle it at all - they struggle to find the easy way, ease eludes them

rather than boundaries, they have walls, moats & fierce defenses protecting who they are from view all the while saying how much they would like to get acquainted - easing into easy would take them months, years or longer!

someone told me recently I should write a book about this kind of stuff; I am

ease should be easier to ease into with new folks we meet, shouldn’t it?

go easy, please

it is so easy

I am meeting someone for lunch today - set up by the great folks at 'It's Just Lunch', I'm told 'this woman is a fantastic match for you'

I hope it’s easy

on the other hand, it’s just lunch

Mark

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Hi Mark, Thanks for today's message. You are "right on the money" about not enough good news. I understand that the media can sell bad news in greater volumes than good news (making the bad news the obvious choice for the bottom line), but I can't figure out why. Is it that we are all a bit "goulish", or just plain voyeuristic? I get depressed watching the news or reading newspapers on many days. I won't watch the late night news before bedtime - so that I can sleep peacefully! Please keep up your regular messages of positive reinforcement and thoughtful questioning of "what makes us tick". It is usually the best "read" of my day. The best to you in your ongoing quests, JN, Newmarket, Ontario

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Hi Mark, I loved your messages about good news....I'm with you.....If you spread good news, even better with a smile, you will receive that and much more in return. It really does work!!! I can't add more other than to say, good news begins within yourself, once you live this, good news spreads!!! Thanks for your positive thoughts on living!, MS, Calgary

P.S. I don't know what you looked like before, but you've got the face of someone who could be bearing good news!

-3C/28F, light snow falling, Gusta undecided whether romping at high speed or stopping to chew lumps of snow is more fun so she combines the two; critter tracks everywhere but no critters in view, golf season is really over, sob

thanks to those who wrote with comments on the new photo & my svelte-ness (Andre, please hold those comments till I really am!); enough already, lets have less of that & more discussion

where did we lose our collective enthusiasm for good things? where did we give way to media hype & political pandering to the morbid, the banal & the tasteless?

we need more good news

each morning I read newspapers, look at newswire feeds & news websites – in part to stay current, in part to gather information I need – but always with the hope, most faint, that I will see a major GOODNEWS headline

the media’s lone attempt to daily pump us up is with sports stories where the headline usually lauds who won, but the text is invariably at least 50% about the foolhardy mistakes of the vanquished person or team

whenever I see good news stories on CNN or in my daily paper they seem relegated to a footnote or anecdote along the lines that . . ‘ in addition to everything else that happened today there is this one amusing thing happened’

every hour every day good news must outweigh bad or we would not be surviving here ( I mean the planet, not the reality show); if it was ALL about nuclear tests, horrid murder, violence, mayhem political scandal, drugs & crime there wouldn’t be a lot of reasons to live now would there?

we don’t get good news by searching for it, we get good news by spreading it

if you smile when you tell someone something today, they will be far more likely to take it as good news than any other way

if you start a conversation with, ‘hey, I’ve got good news . . . ’ what impression will you leave?

some good weather news: Maui weather today: lows 63-69F, 100% chance of rain, clearing by tomorrow mid-morning with highs of 80-87F

I feel a beach itch coming on

Mark

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Hi Mark, I unhappily report that S. Ontario beat you this year with first snow. We received snow last week, October 12th, however Kitchener's snow was light compared to our friends in the Niagara Peninsula, where some 60 cm. of snow fell on Fort Erie and Buffalo....now that was a blast of 'early' winter leaving behind major damage! It felt like home here last week! Take care...hope you are having a good day and enjoy that clean look, it is short lived!, KL, Kitchener
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Better photo,...you are looking a lot fitter than the last time I saw you in person, AK, Calgary
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Mornin' Mark: Thanks for sending along your mailouts. This "musing" does lend pause for thought for sure. Also very impressed by the Maxcomm mini newspaper. Hope your day bodes well. I love a snowfall too, however, I am grateful for another day in the high teens and fall leaves still fluttering about. Ciao,BP, Coquitlam
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I like the new photo. VBL- Englewood, CO
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Nice picture!!, NB, Calgary
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Hi Mark, I have never met you, however I have to agree with KK that I do like your new picture, LW, Grande Prairie
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The new pic is OK but the old one gave me a smile every morning!, JB, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Not sure where I'm going with this email...however, I feel compelled to send a message. I'm taking a break from some studies and as always I get a "Facility Calgary" email. I read it, as I always do (that's a surprise to me), and found "Mark's Musings" at the bottom of the page. I proceeded to read all the comments and quips on that page and found it was indeed quite amusing. I really did enjoy browsing through the comments. Also, refreshing to see your comments regarding Yom Kippur as so little was mentioned anywhere in the city about honouring this Jewish High Holiday. The media did however do a Ramadan highlight on Yom Kippur Day. Hmmm....interesting.....(to me). Bottom line....keep up this great work. I really enjoyed it and look forward to more of "Mark's Musings". Sincerely, LM, CalgaryP.S. The "new" picture is a good one!

0C/32F, rain overnight, wet snow falling in silence, at first melting as it hit the ground but accumulating quite a bit now; as air temperature hovers at the freezing point I was concerned about my footing but it was fine; Gusta got really wet & was loving it all

play day for kids of all ages

if you can’t take some time to make a mess in the snow or to make just one snowball to throw today, then you need to take some time away to relax before you burden anyone with you; snow is play, snow is laughter, snow is memories of childhood – it is childhood

first snow is here

not to chill us or scare us, but to put a pure clean blanket on everything for a few hours; then it will go have whet our appetite, having caused a fender-bender or two but it will have given us a morning of correction – time to adjust our thinking to what we wear, how we drive & what we wish for

first snow is here

it wets the dreary grime that seems to coat everything after a few windy days once leaves have fallen, it brightens everything

first snow is here

for those who love winter sports this is the kind of day that invigorates; for those who look outside at bare trees & fields of gray-brown, you get a new perspective; for those who wish for spring, it is one day closer now; for those who wish for beauty & calm, there is no better day, no better day than this one

first snow is here

‘People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.’ – Anton Chekhov

I'm happy I've noticed

Mark

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To SB – I am ‘one’ with you on your perspective on relationship-seeking [re: ‘active search for soul mate’]. It is in fact * freeing* to give up that quest and put the new-found energy into fulfilling oneself with the joys of family, friends, and the pursuit of enriching interests and activities. MM, Calgary

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Gotta say that new pic is the Mark I know well., KK, Calgary

5C/41F, overcast; après rain freshness is everywhere, so quiet, Gusta’s undercarriage is dripping from her forays into the tall grass – I think she likes the feel of the wetness on her face she gets roaming in there

I saw the new Robin Williams flick ‘Man of the Year’ with AW last night; good political spoof but not Willliams at his best comedic or dramatic performance by any stretch; lingering cold/cough/hack mode has me benched again today from much activity; dinner with my dad will have to wait for another day – hack, hack

a collection of friends grows in strange ways; some people come & go, some grow close – then apart, some are important in our life (or we in theirs) for only a finite time – when the usefulness is gone the need to stay close wanes – then they are gone

everywhere I look there are people trying to make some sense of something; for one it might be to understand the behaviour of someone else, or their own; for another it might be the negotiation of terms between two people who both want the same thing but cannot figure out if is possible with each other, with others or with anyone

‘The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.’ – Carl Jung

Jung had it right, so did Frankl; but will you & I have it right?

to say little things matter is so cliché as if it means that larger things matter less somehow; big things can matter too, not because they are big, but because there is some little thing about them that matters; little things matter to me too sometimes, except when they don’t matter at all – then those little things are just an inconvenience – as things that do not matter often are

people, little things, thoughts, choices & reasons are often inconvenient

there should never be anything convenient about them

they are almost always inconvenient

they should be inconvenient

it is because they matter

someone recently wrote asking who I was and if they knew me, as if that mattered at all
I risk little, the prize could be great

someone who recently read some musing history on the blog said nice things but asked ‘why so public?’

I risk little, the prize could be great

I’ve been meaning to write a letter to someone I don’t know; it should be a little 5 minute exercise but I have been ruminating for a week, re-writing & rephrasing in my head – I guess it matters; the tone, the voice, the details matter; it might not capture someone’s interest at all

should I let it slip by, an opportunity lost through fear or apathy?

I risk little, the prize could be great

the most important little things in life - choices, people, adventures are all a little inconvenient sometime, but it matters

so risk a little

the prize could be great

Mark

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I thought of you when I read this and how you are able to see the world around you in so many ways. Hope you are feeling better. I am likely overly conscious of my rest and sleep so I don’t get sick…. It also keeps me balanced, patient and kind to others. Over tired bears are cranky creatures, DB, Red Deer
"To her lover a beautiful woman is a delight;
to a monk she is a distraction; to a mosquito,
a good meal." - Zen proverb

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re: What he wants to do - "It's about time, it's about space, About two "people" in the strangest place." After our discussions, Mark I wanted to elaborate on the career/relationship crunch that many of us face. Our daily allocation of 24 hours is precious, as I review how I've spent mine over the past several decades I think I see a pattern in my life. Unrelenting hard work, an over allocation of my 24 hours has provided financial security, a sense of achievement, intellectual challenges and rewards, and a rich variety of professional and personal relationships. It has also contributed to loss of physical fitness, narrowing of my personal vision and goals, and was a major factor in my marriage breakdown. Certainly my career has extracted a price. However, when I compare the return on investment on the time invested in my career (in the past six months) against the ROI of "relationship development". I have to say that the career wins again. Granted the elapsed time is not sufficient to draw final conclusions; but it is certainly significant indicator of where I will likely have the greatest success. So the pattern emerges...investment in career=clear measurable payoff; investment in relationships=murky returns. Another pattern revealed...my dearest friends, my confidantes are discovered and developed from random activities and actions. Often I meet my "NEXT" friend through work related activities, community related events or simply through some form of shared "space". Propinquity is powerful! Another fact pattern noted: The active search for a soul mate(s) is both time consuming and self-esteem eroding. The fact is that there are relatively few men in my age-appropriate window; fewer still that are seeking strong, smart women that do not "run marathons, surf, ski,love participating in extreme sports and pack their own parachutes, look stunning in the evening gown and bathing suit competition". It is, as you have noted, time to measure the diminishing returns. Serendipity is powerful. So I have decided to withdraw from the active relationship seeking activity. Return to the arena that I have experienced my greatest success, refocus my efforts on career, fitness, family and friends. And if the universe sends me Mr. Right, I shall be ready. Successful, rich in friendships, rooted in family and open to all possibilities, SB, Calgary

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Mark: Long time reader and first time writer. But, today I have something to say or at least ponder. Today I find myself in the region of Normandy in France. Which way do I turn? Embellish the wonder of cheese and Calvados or stand in the middle of 9,387 white crosses and stars. The 9,387 is just the US; Canada, Britian and even Germany have their own resting place. Men and women who gave their life so we and others can be free to ponder musings on the internet. Our generation, everyone under about 60 or so, probably cannot comprehend the commitment and struggle to liberate half a continent. USA, British, French, Danes and Canadians all worked hand-in-hand. My comment passes all political views. "Support the President", "Get out of Irag, Viet Nam, you-name-the-country", "Make love not war" are only sayings. We say them and then retreat to the cover of our homes watching CNN or Fox News. I pray that we never have to retreat to a fox hole for cover. Today, October 14, is the birthday of General Ike, the leader of the Normandy invasion. He was elected as President just eight years later with a promise to end the fighting in Korea. A quote from a soldier on June 6, 1944 "As our boat touched sand and the ramp came down, I became a visitor to hell". May the United States, Canada and all countries never have to build another cemetery on foreign soil, Albert from Texas

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Great new photograph Mark! Much better. Have a fun weekend, TL, Calgary

. . .

never would have thought of you as "awake in the middle of the night" --unable to endorse the illness intervention schemes you've been offered --like the new picture tho', rnRN, Calgary

. . .

But is it only 4? Peaks and valleys…it does seem much longer. The comfort of old friends. The knowing. I of course get to track your disasters du jour, amours du jour, penses du jour because you are so diligent in communicating, but you don’t often get to track mine these days. There is less angst, more peace, more stillness than you could imagine. And thank you for the kind words today my friend – you are and probably will always be a bright spark in my day, KT, Puerto Vallarta

. . .

Wow! Much nicer pix! Ch, Chimacum

-1C/31F, a sunny gorgeous fall day; Gusta calm except for a short distraction as she pulled hard to chase that tall white male poodle, otherwise our walk was a good sweat

it always fascinates me when someone comes out of the ether from far away to connect with me – in this case someone who is doing a very courageous thing; great chat yesterday with a muser from Cape Town; CG is visiting friends near Morningside, working her way toward emigrating to Canada to start a new chapter

my morning start: awake, some work, a dog walk, a breakfast, a newspaper; from these, daily, inspiration should flow - on days when the juices flow more slowly I look in lots of places for inspiration; the web, old writings, staring at the ceiling, looking our a window or reading a book or doing a work item or two to get me into writing mode

acceptance of my memory, as it is, seems to be topic du jour; am I getting more forgetful or is there just too much to recall?

I was challenged yesterday to remember something from the day before; I remembered it vaguely – this issue was relatively unimportant - so that it is what it deserved, vague recollection

thinking further along this line: what was important (I mean truly important) yesterday, last week or an hour ago? most of the time I can’t remember; can you?; each goes by with a hundred other things to do, many conversations, frequent meetings – exchanges with others or just with ourselves; each is filled with decision points & points to make – each very important in the moment but hard to remember a day later without checking notes

being right used to be so important; it still matters but not as much as making progress seems to matter so much more

pushing a worthy initiative forward that might make the world a little better for anyone seems to matter so much more than being right about some little thing right now

I find I argue less, pursue less, protest less – not that I don’t argue, pursue or protest – I still do, but I do it less; I find far fewer of those ‘hills to die on’ really matter to me

today & tomorrow I will mindlessly do many things, will focus on a few & will really concentrate on one or two but next Saturday morning I doubt that I will be able to recall one of them because they do not matter in the grand scheme of things; I am more likely to recall something that mattered when I was 13 or 43, I am more likely to remember something that changed the path of my life or someone else’s that I will recall any of the things that happened the three days before

my memory is not failing, but I think the quality of what I choose to commit to my memory is improving; I put more things on 'ignore on the back burner' & discard altogether than I ever did - now I remember

remembering everything is not important, but having a way to remember issues & dates that really matter is pretty important

some people are good for us, some people inspire us to accomplish much, some people inspire us by how they live their lives, some people inspire us by how high they rise in joy, by how spectacularly the fall in grief & tragedy, inspire us by how they rise to go on & on & on with sparkle in their eyes, with wind in their sails & a compass all their own

I NEVER want to forget this unforgettable person in my life: 4 yrs ago today I connected with KT for the first time; I don’t have that committed to memory but I have it recorded; I don’t have a recollection of our conversations, meetings or events by date or time but I know I have someone to call in the middle of the night if my world is coming apart & so does she, someone to listen, someone to care regardless the frequency of contact or however far apart we are, we will always be close

in the middle of the day

or in the middle of the night with a compass all her own

Mark

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Mark, Wondering if you have ever tried Oil of Oregano.... great for colds, throat stuff....???? Also the Master Cleanse (Cayenne, fresh lemon juice --not bottled--, warm water, maple syrup can stop a cold before it gets started) with massive doses of Vitamin C????? The other amazing cure is swallowing a tablespoon of chopped garlic.... natural antibiotic which can help flush colds very quickly. Many of the cough remedies/cough drops on the market, have sugar in them, which is counterproductive, FA, Calgary

. . .

Good note, "NS". , TL, Calgary

2C/35F, overcast; our walk was quiet & brisk – an early start with clients means I must hustle early this morning though my inability to talk without hacking up half a lung may be a deterrent to long conversations; Gusta will get her long walk later

a great chat yesterday with another of the musers known as SB; discussing how we can effectively maximize career/business success while dedicating sufficient time to a relationship considering how much time, especially on the front end processes of meeting, dating, interviewing etc. . . too much time to invest which distracts from the career focus; perhaps valid concerns but strong enough to keep me out of both tracks at the same time; I don’t see it as a choice of one vs. the other, but rather I see it as having a complete life vs. an incomplete one

I’ve yet to read anywhere of a philosophy or ‘how-to’ book that says it should be easy; it should be hard, it should be with someone we want to work hard for, it should fill us, overflow us, challenge us, please us & leave us with sufficient energy & motivation to do things that please someone else

emotionally it should feel easy, yes; but that doesn’t mean it insulates us from fatigue, stress or difficulty balancing these competing values

well or sick, busy or not (rarely not) I find great comfort in Bob Dylan’s words: ‘What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.’

an already overstuffed day of things to do begins, messed with by touring out of town clients, oh well this is work I love so I won’t complain, but I have to go now

tic toc

Mark

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I've been reading the last year's worth of these and I notice one thing that stands out as a theme: You've had a lot of expectations of people over the years, they haven't delivered and you got hurt, things didn't work out, etc.; leaving you with a sore spot about that individual or situation. Have these people *known* of your expectations of them? Were they realistic? Were you expecting them to be what they are not? Were they expecting the same of you, perhaps, and you just didn't fulfill? Too many times, people get into relationships because they are, dare I say, desperate? They want a relationship so bad with anyone that they're willing to overlook the points they don't like and then try to change them later. As a realtor, would you want someone laying money down on the first dump they looked at just because they want a house/office so bad? Would you feel right about that? Dumpy houses and buildings can be repaired. They can be gutted, rebuilt, decorated and all fixed up. People cannot. They come as they are...the whole meal deal. "Take it or leave it" as they say. You take the person and all their little quirks. Sure, some things can be changed if the person feels you are worth making that change for. People cannot be other than who they are, and most people are not psychic to know these things you expect. Might that be the hole in your life that you are trying to fill? Expectations you have on people you cannot control that don't pan out? Perhaps the answer is not just to under-promise/over-deliver, which is good in itself, of course. Perhaps it is to under-expect and let people be who they are. If you don't like who they are from the start, then the relationship may not be worth pursuing. Why expend that sort of time and energy trying to change something you can't? Planting your expectations on them will only make things worse for you both and leave you both hurt and angry in the end. You deserve to be with a person who shares your interests, knows your expectations and is happy to oblige. You deserve to be happy. You are worth it!, NS, Calgary

-2C/28F, a magenta & gray colour show on the horizon, the lagoon was a perfect mirror on its side - the reflection of trees, sky & shore looking more genuine than the real thing just feet away from me; it promises to be a beautiful Indian summer day

one of the SB’s took me for lunch yesterday – thanks so much, it was an enlightening lunch; thanks!

we all promise so many things when we join someone in a coupling; whether vows, implied expectations or a promise of a rose garden – each creates expectations which, when not delivered, produce hurt beyond expectations

what is it that unlocks imagination, frees vision; from where to we pull out the ‘right stuff’ to covert dreams into real change, fulfilling our promises?

who wants promises & hopes without a plan?

who gets them without some pain & sacrifice along the way?

our regular 'meeting after the meeting' last night following Toastmasters, a smaller group than usual, saw discussion more serious than usual; mainly around what keeps us committed, what makes us want to be committed to a partner, a mate, a spouse; 'not being supported' in what is important to us was a topic the struck some chords; most of us have the failures from which to learn, experiences to reflect on & know this issue well

mulling this overnight I think it is not so much an issue of being supported as it is having a partner who respects my things/issues/passions that matter to me, with or without interest, but a simple validation & understanding of what is important to me really matters - if that translates to interest, discussion & genuine support well that's a lovely bonus

the converse must be genuine; these things are a reciprocal two-way street where actions speak so much more loudly than words

if I get lucky enough to find the magic I seek again, I'll work more to under-promise & over-deliver; I think it is better that way

'Better a broken promise than none at all.' - Mark Twain

we all need to be careful, I think, about what we promise or discuss that we are prepared to promise - there is wisdom in that debate, that tummy-turning activity of deciding what to commit to

it might be a long drown out process or snappy repartee - either way, a promise is a promise is a promise; it if is not worth keeping it is not worth making

this is a lesson I learned a long time ago; I don't need to make it again to deepen the lesson

Mark

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Hmmm...you surprised me today. It shouldn't require a "place" for you to be focused, energetic and single-minded. That's putting a big burden on geography! , NC, Coupville, Washington

. . .

Hey Mark......thoughts for today:Hold your right arm in front of you....parallel to the floor, fingers stretched, palm of hand towards the floor. Fold (clench) the three middle fingers towards the palm of your hand. Stretch your thumb to the left and the little finger to the right. Now, wiggle the your hand up and down. Say, "hang loose man". Wiggle your hand a couple of more times , then sing trhe words you can remember from that song..... "Be haaapppy, be haaapppy". Cheers!, TL, Calgary

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For the throat my dear, Grapefruit Seed Ectract – Drink it, gargle it, snoot it, just get it into your body at the first sign of a cold and even after it is helpful. Then lay off the wheat and dairy. You need somebody to take care of you bunky, CH, Chimacum, Washington

1C/33F, foggy; our walk around the lagoon this morning was interrupted by a brief coyote encounter – hard to say who was most startled - no doubt having a drink while scouting geese prospects, having caught a whiff of us it ambled up from the shore, then moved along to the south, we hustled away in the opposite direction

my incessant cough is diminished, yesterday's fatigue behind me; I can survive this cold/flu episode with only a throat removal; some thoughts from last night's board meeting & this morning's calls & emails, of trip planning & business wrangles . . argghh

amid frenetic pace to get where it is we think we are going, do we not lose sight of the goal sometimes?

what I mean is that the objectives of rest, of serenity, of unity, of projects, of events have become altered so that, in the end, at best they are poorly planned, hastily executed, poorly understood or all of these

one such project – nearly 16 months since we started – has changed direction at least 4 times; it reminds me of the one-liner about a camel having been designed by a committee; it feels like that; if only they said ‘competitors, sit with us to help us think this thing through, then we’ll decide together on scope, direction, design etc.’ . .

I can dream can’t I?

to actually take the time to think, the time to listen, the time to give an idea, an issue, a person . . . give them the time they deserve so that the resulting theory, the resulting experience, the resulting relationship is predicated on ideas, articulation, clear-headedness
I still seek an aside - my alcove, my little hideaway, my place where, in haste or not, my total attention can be focused on what is at hand without distraction, without diversion . . . focused, energetic and single-minded

I am sure it is there, waiting to be found, in the country

but which country? beachfront or up-country?

Mark

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Mark, Hope you're feeling better; not so much fun being sick on a holiday w/e! I took my mother to the Newport Grill (formerly Lake Bonavista Inn) with the intent of enjoying a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Although the traditional dinner sounded great, we decided to order a la carte - yum, yum, one of the best meals in a very long time - we were very thankful for that! You might consider taking your father there - great ambience for good food and laughter!, AK, Calgary

6C/43F, Gusta sniffed a rabbit at 2 blocks but could not see a fallen tree on our path at 10 paces as we walked under the remains of a cloudy moonless night

a long weekend – 3 days of solitude; a retreat?, a spa visit?, a trip?

in many ways, all of those

a sniff/wimp/cold/flu weekend ended; illness, especially on a weekend, does several things none of which can be solved by retail therapy, none of which are good; self indulgent pity, frustration & feeling miserable between snorts of Neo-Citron, swallowing weird shaped Tylenol & endless fluid consumption is enough to slay any strong man - 3 days was plenty; it was too risky to have dinner with my dad so we’ve postponed till next weekend

my body (I thought my recent focus on better diet, more sleep & working out might prevent these maladies) was resentful, shot me down like I was cheap toy plane . .

while I did accomplish a fair deal of work this weekend, I had some lucid moments to reflect on my plight:

my body is saying slow down

my body is telling me to say NO more often

my body is teaching me to re-set my priorities once more

everyone needs a cure for what ails them; I found mine

"Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously." - Og Mandino

I’m feeling better already, because the weekend is gone & I am not

I’m laughing at myself, I’m laughing at my life

I’m laughing at the bug that got me down

I’m up now, laughing & ready to go

Mark

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