Musing

-1C/31F, a sunny gorgeous fall day; Gusta calm except for a short distraction as she pulled hard to chase that tall white male poodle, otherwise our walk was a good sweat

it always fascinates me when someone comes out of the ether from far away to connect with me – in this case someone who is doing a very courageous thing; great chat yesterday with a muser from Cape Town; CG is visiting friends near Morningside, working her way toward emigrating to Canada to start a new chapter

my morning start: awake, some work, a dog walk, a breakfast, a newspaper; from these, daily, inspiration should flow - on days when the juices flow more slowly I look in lots of places for inspiration; the web, old writings, staring at the ceiling, looking our a window or reading a book or doing a work item or two to get me into writing mode

acceptance of my memory, as it is, seems to be topic du jour; am I getting more forgetful or is there just too much to recall?

I was challenged yesterday to remember something from the day before; I remembered it vaguely – this issue was relatively unimportant - so that it is what it deserved, vague recollection

thinking further along this line: what was important (I mean truly important) yesterday, last week or an hour ago? most of the time I can’t remember; can you?; each goes by with a hundred other things to do, many conversations, frequent meetings – exchanges with others or just with ourselves; each is filled with decision points & points to make – each very important in the moment but hard to remember a day later without checking notes

being right used to be so important; it still matters but not as much as making progress seems to matter so much more

pushing a worthy initiative forward that might make the world a little better for anyone seems to matter so much more than being right about some little thing right now

I find I argue less, pursue less, protest less – not that I don’t argue, pursue or protest – I still do, but I do it less; I find far fewer of those ‘hills to die on’ really matter to me

today & tomorrow I will mindlessly do many things, will focus on a few & will really concentrate on one or two but next Saturday morning I doubt that I will be able to recall one of them because they do not matter in the grand scheme of things; I am more likely to recall something that mattered when I was 13 or 43, I am more likely to remember something that changed the path of my life or someone else’s that I will recall any of the things that happened the three days before

my memory is not failing, but I think the quality of what I choose to commit to my memory is improving; I put more things on 'ignore on the back burner' & discard altogether than I ever did - now I remember

remembering everything is not important, but having a way to remember issues & dates that really matter is pretty important

some people are good for us, some people inspire us to accomplish much, some people inspire us by how they live their lives, some people inspire us by how high they rise in joy, by how spectacularly the fall in grief & tragedy, inspire us by how they rise to go on & on & on with sparkle in their eyes, with wind in their sails & a compass all their own

I NEVER want to forget this unforgettable person in my life: 4 yrs ago today I connected with KT for the first time; I don’t have that committed to memory but I have it recorded; I don’t have a recollection of our conversations, meetings or events by date or time but I know I have someone to call in the middle of the night if my world is coming apart & so does she, someone to listen, someone to care regardless the frequency of contact or however far apart we are, we will always be close

in the middle of the day

or in the middle of the night with a compass all her own

Mark

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