Musing

I've been reading the last year's worth of these and I notice one thing that stands out as a theme: You've had a lot of expectations of people over the years, they haven't delivered and you got hurt, things didn't work out, etc.; leaving you with a sore spot about that individual or situation. Have these people *known* of your expectations of them? Were they realistic? Were you expecting them to be what they are not? Were they expecting the same of you, perhaps, and you just didn't fulfill? Too many times, people get into relationships because they are, dare I say, desperate? They want a relationship so bad with anyone that they're willing to overlook the points they don't like and then try to change them later. As a realtor, would you want someone laying money down on the first dump they looked at just because they want a house/office so bad? Would you feel right about that? Dumpy houses and buildings can be repaired. They can be gutted, rebuilt, decorated and all fixed up. People cannot. They come as they are...the whole meal deal. "Take it or leave it" as they say. You take the person and all their little quirks. Sure, some things can be changed if the person feels you are worth making that change for. People cannot be other than who they are, and most people are not psychic to know these things you expect. Might that be the hole in your life that you are trying to fill? Expectations you have on people you cannot control that don't pan out? Perhaps the answer is not just to under-promise/over-deliver, which is good in itself, of course. Perhaps it is to under-expect and let people be who they are. If you don't like who they are from the start, then the relationship may not be worth pursuing. Why expend that sort of time and energy trying to change something you can't? Planting your expectations on them will only make things worse for you both and leave you both hurt and angry in the end. You deserve to be with a person who shares your interests, knows your expectations and is happy to oblige. You deserve to be happy. You are worth it!, NS, Calgary