Musing

Hi Mark, All the best for 2007! Wishing you good health, happiness and contentment. My 2006 ended with much sadness - my sister Nella passed away after a short 7 week illness, and it made this Christmas very difficult for us all, however, we do have volumes of good memories, stories, letters, pictures, her painting that she created. I was fortunate enough to have spent the last few months with her, and was there when she passed on. This coming week is back to work, and I am looking forward to that as well. Cheers!, TH, Edmonton

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Thanks for musings today (and D?’s). Very good advice which I will be applying in 2007. I am so tired of being what other people want me to be. It is going to be ‘all about me’ for a change. Tonight is PARTY TIME! I’m so looking forward to celebrating the coming of the New Year. Happy New Year Mark!, SM, Calgary

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Hi Mark, I hope Kim got a picture of the two of you for your Musings Letter. I think it would be a great hit! Have a great day ! and once again ... Happy New Year!. CCC, Calgary

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Happy New Year, Mark! Great picture of Gusta. Kim should have no trouble getting referrals after this first installment. She's Hallmark card material! Beautiful.. Keep 'em coming!, LR, Irvine

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Hi Mark – want to thank DC in Kelowna for that quote. I don’t think it had martini’s in it but all the same I am happy to see it again. I left it on my computer when I finished a contract hoping the next person in that office would find inspiration. I have been thinking that I needed to bring it to light again but couldn’t remember it exactly. So THANKS Every day I hear negativity and whining about life. Living in fear of the “what ifs” holding their lives hostage hoping someone will rescue them from their self made prisons. What is happening to us? I am off to ring in the New Year at work. I think most of my companions will be in bed by 7:30. Some change from days past but altogether a much healthier and happier life style for me. Thanks for the boost yesterday I needed it. I am thinking its got something to do with Xmas and people being over tired, over indulged, over spent and since I have not entered into that I must be annoying them by not complaining. Your musings were right on as usual, DB, Calgary

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A reflex that always chooses the new and cool sometimes leads to losing important, good things that we already have and that cannot be obtained again. It takes courage to face what the real choices are. When is new and cool positively or harmlessly new and cool and when is new and cool a "not worth it" destroyer of more important things, LHE, Calgary

-8/17, cloudy, calm – it seems warmer than that; Gusta feeling very frisky - walking later than usual produced many nearby-dog-encounters, enough at least to leave my shoulder feeling like my arm has been ripped out

my day started early as I got organized to start sending out some pictures of Gusta (ones Kim took yesterday) if you want to be added to my ‘Gusta pictures distribution list’, just send me a note . . if you want to connect with a photographer keen to build her business, Kim Pryhitko Photography .... kpryhitko@shaw.ca …. is someone you might want to connect with

to those who will party and celebrate tonight, happy New Year!

to those who spend time today reflecting on the year just past, don't spend too much time looking over your shoulder when the real action is just ahead of you

my knowledge of Spanish is very limited . . but there is a phrase that I really like – it is almost lyrical – for the term ‘last year’ . . il ano pasado

and this one - lo pasado, pasado - which means: let bygones be bygones

each day the earth makes one revolution; revolution, what a great word

this day is your/my/our opportunity to make a revolution, to start a revolution, to BE a revolution . . or to simply ride the planet unaffected; nothing in the world happens for a month or a year or a decade or a century - everything that happens, happens today - right now, in the moment - or it simply does not happen

if I don't make something happen today, then my best chance is to make it happen tomorrow, but then today will have been a wasted opportunity

this is a day like any other, 24 hours to make what I can of it; many people waste these chances, 7 days a week, knowing full well there will come a time when we run out of time; knowing there will come a time where we will lament all the things we wanted to do that somehow slipped away, the places we never went, the adventures we dreamt but never lived, the people we never got to know, the girls we never kissed . . etc . etc . .

I've never heard of anyone on a deathbed saying 'I did too much, I never missed a moment, I over-lived, I over-stayed, I got too much out of life'; instead I think we all know of those who lived long or short lives who lived lives of under-fulfillment, in-completeness, in-adequacy, dis-satisfaction - not everyone, not completely, but I think everyone grouses at least once a year (many do it much more often) and certainly on death-beds the regrets of missed opportunities, of failures to do the things we say we want so much to do, of losses in relationships where we made too little effort too often for too long -the regret of that which cannot be recovered, that which was lost and more significantly that which was never found

I resolved, and regularly remind myself, to not have that happen in my life

I strive, resolve, promise, and agree to NEVER lament missing out on anything in life, to NEVER complain that I went thirsty when life was there to be lapped up, to NEVER wish for friendship and love and caring that I did not get when there is so much of it all around me, to NEVER regret anything I have done or tried to do, to NEVER complain about my lot in life because it is the ONLY thing I can control, to NEVER complain about anyone else’s way of living their life because it is theirs to control - not mine, to NEVER lose sight of or lose touch with those who matter to me in 2006 (one day left), in 2007 and beyond

what do you resolve to do/not do? today? next year?

if you don't have 364 incredible days of 2006WOW already in the bag to look back upon, then perhaps it is appropriate to take a new approach for 2007, time to pursue the next 365¼ days with a little more zeal about extracting more nourishment from those moments ticking by

once a year our earth revolves around the sun; ancients believed we revolved around it because it was the centre of the universe (residents of Toronto should ignore this line because they already know they are at the centre of the universe) but now we know the universe is much larger

what do you revolve around?

are YOU (or someone/something very very very important to you) not the centre of YOUR own universe?

is it not time to start your revolution; to resolve to do something revolutionary, to be both observer and observed?

to all of 7,100+ of you, a happy healthy wish for a happy healthy revolution today and tomorrow

Mark
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Happy New Year Mark and thanks for the friendship for the past year. I look forward to it in the coming years as well. Gusta is beautiful. I am a cat-guy myself. This attachment is not a picture of my cat but reflects my "connection" to the species and my "concern" for it.., KC, Calgary

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I spied this quote in a recent holiday email which was annoyingly forwarded to me by someone who always forwards annoying emails to me. This quote somehow struck a chord though, and I intend to live by it: “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!” Happy New Year, DC, Kelowna

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Hiya, been a while but at times I feel compelled to write a few myself. This is one of those times. I feel it shows a person's strength when they realize that no everyone is going to 'take them' as they 'give themselves". It is all up to interpretation of course and what makes us all unique for sure. I read a paper once that claimed that all we needed to know in life, we learned in the sandbox. Wonder if that is accurate or not....at times I think yes, at others, I think no. Love being able to know I can change my mind and opinions often. It is our life's experiences, our education (in and out of educational institutes) and our mood at any particular time that makes us respond as we do. We can burn hot or cold on any given subject at any given time. Makes life interesting, n'est pas. When someone we admire and respect does not like something about us; yes, we tend to take it personally and wonder why they do not like or agree with us. If we did this at every occasion then we would certainly end up in dire straits (not the band!) It takes knowing ourselves very well to not take all this personally; perhaps, just perhaps, the other person is not correct or accurate in their thoughts and assumptions. As you said, we do not need to like the other person involved in this type of event, but we certainly need to like the person we look at in the mirror every day with all their imperfections and failings......they are great! In relationships with others, we at times find ourselves in love with a person but just not like them very much at specific times. It is the same with ourselves, we must give us what we need. We can love ourselves (and should) but at times, it is also OK not to like us very much. Like is temporary, love is eternal. I read a line the other day that I thought interesting, so I will take the opportunity to share it......if you already have read it, enjoy it again; if you have not, now is the time to read and reflect a tad. ....... "If it weren't for the obstacles, we'd never know whether we really want something or merely think we do". Thanks for all the thought-provoking musings Mark, I enjoy them all. Not that I agree with them all (grin) but I do enjoy reading them, they make me think and that's a good thing (isn't it?) Smiling here. Have a super great day and for that matter.......a super great year ahead., D?, Lacombe

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Hallo Mark,,thanks for e-mails, thanks and all the best in 2007 ,,,,,, MK, Vancouver

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Hi Mark ... Just want to say Happy New Year and hope you have a 'lucky' 2007. You are starting the year off perfect in my eyes ... traveling to Maui . Lucky guy !! CCC, Calgary

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I hope you weren’t referring to me in your musings because I certainly didn’t mean to do it, if I did. Now that didn’t make sense I am sure. I just it might be me because I seem to causing trouble and upsetting people this week. I don’t know how but it’s happening. I prefer to be in control of my insulting behavior when I am doing it. I do believe that I can go about in this world being oblivious to reactions I am causing. I am trying to be more mindful. I really like that CD (Josh Groban). Its not something I would have bought for myself. I thank you for opening that door, DB, Red Deer

+2C/35F, overnight wind now subsided to a steady breeze ; we walked through the park early in the dark, startled by a big poodle coming around a corner – otherwise our walk was uneventful, 18 sleeps till Maui bound, 19 sleeps till I walk my beach – time to set that aside and focus on things to do over the next 18 days!

KP arrived at 9:00 to meet Gusta and go out for our photo-shoot; Gusta was less cooperative than one would like but Kim thinks a few good shots found their way to film while Gusta’s speed and quick movements probably messed many; many thanks Kim for offering to do this . . stay tuned for a great Gusta shot coming soon

I found myself conflicted the other day; someone made comments - I reacted to them as ‘not the way I feel/behave at all’ – that focused my attention to examine my intention

OK, my reaction was excessive knee-jerk in the moment, but I felt this person had a wrong take on me; how could this be? why did it matter? was it the issue or the person?

the assumptions, some of them, were near the truth; not accurate, but close enough - others, in my view, were dead wrong; not wrong, but dead wrong; those assumptions drawn from my writing, my reputation and discussion among mutual friends

if it was someone I scarcely knew, did not care about it any way, then it would not matter at all; but, because this person is a friend I see frequently, someone I am interested in knowing better, because this is a friendship I wish to foster and retain – it seemed to matter a lot at the time, maybe it matters a little less today because I need to accept how people see things, how they see me

I need to recognize and appreciate how others see my motives - how they appear, how they are felt; this, it would seem, is not always as closely aligned with my intention – my assumption debunked

rather than ‘adjusting’ how someone views me, I could adjust me or I could try to adjust their view, or both, or neither

neither

we can spend our lives trying to adjust what we do and how it appears to fit what we want others to see or we can fit ourselves into our own skin to just be the way we are

some people take me my way, others will take me their way

that’s OK with me; my struggles are with me, not them

sometimes that will mean someone I like will not like me for some reason

that’s OK . . because the one I need to keep in focus is me, that is the only way I can useful to myself, to anyone else, to my world

if someone else sees me differently, that is their view – I must respect it if I respect the person, I must respect that view is their reality

it need not be mine, but I need to respect that perspective

I’ll focus on my intention

Mark
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-16C/4F, our sky fully lit before sunrise, not even a wisp or a wisp of a wisp in sight; Gusta fresh and frisky, well rested owner straggles less than usual

musings are little late this morning; long discussion with SC over breakfast – we needed an extra couple of hours to figure out how to change the world – she’s headed back to Edmonton now to resume the ‘wait for 1st grandchild to arrive’ for a few days before heading back to Fort Smith

the end of 2006 draws near, 2007 through 2051 (I’ll be 100 that year) looming ahead arrives in 3 days; are we prepared?

cliché’s like ‘what are you doing for the rest of your life’ seem apropos for review at this time on the calendar; I think we (all of us both individually and as a society) rely too heavily on our past experiences when we try to look forward; we expect to succeed as we have in the past, we expect to fail as we have in the past, we expect to solve (or fail to solve) problems pretty much the same old ways we have (as have our predecessors) . . same old, same old

same old, with technology and modern trends, is still same old

we resolve conflicts with wars (this includes trade wars, marital wars and star wars) though they have never proven to be good in any measurable way

we live lifestyles modeled after what we’ve learned from our parents, Harriet & Ozzie, the Jetsons and what we read on the cover of some magazine; in this part of the world where paleontologists of the future will no doubt label this the Epoch of Conspicuous Consumption where our strata will be very thin, sitting above a landfill above a riverbed above a coal-bed above something Devonian above . . and so on

our world has far more appetite for boring the earth's crust than for savouring the taste of good pie crust, far more occupied with ROI (respect for investments) than it is of AOL (appreciation of life)

why can’t we do a better and sustainable job of both?

this richest society in history cannot solve its problems of caring for one another or for disagreeing with one another without waste, destruction and death by-products; we are the smartest society in history by an incalculable margin yet we do things the same old way expecting (and soon demanding) different results

where do we find the innovation to change, to navigate to explore uncharted waters with bravado while taking no risk at all?

in business we do a SWOT analysis on projects and when doing planning; Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats; we can do this in business and government with ease, but when was the last time any of us as individuals or all of us collectively did that?

we rely on smart people somewhere in corporations or the media or investment houses to spot trends, to forecast (especially at this time of year) what will earn big, what will suffer, what commodity will make someone a fortune, which one will cause heartache, which new technology will have a breakthrough in earnings; rarely do these prognostications measure things in human terms

I mean things like: this trend will make the world safer, this trend will give a society a better quality of life, this new discovery will ease pain; instead we oooh-aahh around Bill Gates donating billions to cure Malaria somewhere without spending energy on figuring out how the next two generations will figure out how to pay to care for us when we are old and in need of expensive care to sustain our lives

my predictions for the coming year are not predictions as much as they are wishes for our species on this planet; that we will get a grip on the geo-political scene with many nations collectively leading us away from the precipice that American foreign policy and religious fundamentalism (and its relative hate mongering) have taken us to; that we place our investment bets on reinvention of health care to produce a better result with radical change in who/how the system is driven; that we take more time to look forward than just looking ahead, that we all get bifocals so that our attempts at having any kind of vision looks beyond the next quarter or our next birthday; that we face the fact that vested interests (economic, political and religious) are running our world – and that it is time to take back control . . . something we do not do as a group, but as 6 billion individuals, individually

Strengths are easy to identify

Weakness is something we hate to face, even when someone exploits it; denial or head-in-the-sand techniquest are so well practiced, so well spun and rationalized

Opportunities are easy to identify if they fit our dreams, but if they are outside our field of view we will miss many of them; for many people opportunities are too scary to pursue because there is risk involved

Threats we see are easy to guard against, until the ones we never saw coming hit home hard

whether we plan, predict, analyze . . or whether we don’t, the world is a ball of risk, a ball of energies pointed in 6 billion directions - so lets have a ball

I resolve to boldly go where I have not gone before, not because it is risky but because I can

I do not avoid risk whether I sit still, go safely or step into unfamiliar territory taking a chance

you can bet with the market or contrary to the market, you can hedge your bets in every commodity going

but why hedge bets on ourselves?

selling short is a market technique that can make a little or lose a lot very quickly

selling ourselves short is surely a losing bet that can never win

lets ALL not do that in 2007

Mark
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Mark, your musings about New Year brought me to wonder if it would be interesting to use the (13 month) lunar calendar? Of course Gregorian calendar fits our current model of patriarchal power on planet earth .... I believe other cultures in antiquity were more tuned in with the natural rhythms of living on Earth... FA, Calgary

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Mark – thanks for the chuckle – I am sure that it was not amusing at the time, but I have a clear picture in my mind of your car sliding down the ramp into the garage door. Also a note that I consider you a dear and old (the friendship, not your age) friend, perhaps not as long-term as some friendships, but someone I can count on to be there for me. AW

-7C/20F, steady breeze, fresh snow changes everything – brown is gone, white is here for a while, Gusta can actually follow the rabbit tracks by sight, traffic is light and slow as driving conditions look only slightly better than yesterday

door crasher special: term retailers use to entice us to get up early

I learned yesterday, it has an alternate meaning

sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves because no one else will, yesterday was one of those days; overhead door repairs were completed and plumbers had the glycol loop going last night while we were at the movies (Blood Diamond is not for those with a weak stomach – di Caprio’s character finds redemption in the end – the Namibian scenery where the film was shot is spectacular); the real drama was earlier, coming home from our lunch and shopping outing, SC and I witnessed a mini-crisis first hand; it turned out the heat had been turned off so the snow covered ramp resembled a slippery toboggan hill – some guy (me) drove down, could not stop on the slippery surface and crashed the garage door, then spent an hour (the joy of front wheel drive) backing up the icy ramp . . all is well now; my grill scarcely more damaged than my ego, the garage door did not do so well

when I was very young, the concept of having life-long friends was not something I could grasp; other than relationships with family members, my parents did not have any and moving around did not facilitate me forming strong bonds that last and last

spending time with one of my dearest and oldest friends (the friendship, not her age) is hard to describe – we talk frequently between sporadic visits here and there, but this is the first time SC has been here for a visit in two years; the ‘knowing each other so well’ does not disappear notwithstanding a dozen years or so since we last shared life together;

I don’t think this is a product of middle age – forming friendships that last – but maybe appreciating them so much is not the thing of ‘younger folk’; I can only speak of my own experiences but I know that twenty years ago I was much more cavalier in my approaches to situations, relationships of all kinds – self serving, ‘what’s in it for me’ and meeting my needs was characteristic of most of those connections . . . little wonder they had a short shelf life

do dear friends mean so much to me because I have known them so long or is it because my middle aged vantage point lets me see their value so much better; the stage of life I am at or the amount of experience I have – which is it?

why we care about people is probably far less important to understand than is ‘that we care about people’

when we are starry-eyed or star-crossed and young we tell our loves, lovers and flings-du-jour partners hopes rather than truths, we whisper hopes and dreams, we promise things we fail to deliver upon, we yearn for the long lasting magic – the kind people take to their coffins – enduring, everlasting love

we lucky few get to have those special people in our lives from time to time; we luckier few get to keep those precious people in our lives

most old wounds heal, they really do; talking about old times is not so much about the OLD as it is about the TIMES . . the times we had without remorse about the times we never had

these special people, my collection, my treasures – sometimes they are distant physically or emotionally for a while, sometimes for a long while – but never gone, never lost

sometimes we talk with them, sometimes we just ‘know they will be there’ when we call, sometimes they visit us, sometimes we crash through doors with them

old dear friends, if you need a place to crash, you can do it at my place

FAA

Mark
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Best Wishes for 2007 - May you find that which you seek.....may you be happy.....may you become more successful....may you enjoy good health...may life be filled with laughter ... and ... may your musings never stop arriving in my email basket....my wishes for 2007! Take Care Mark, BP, Calgary

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Hey, Mark. I don't think Trent can get over the fact that he may well have saved my life. His after game brew will be on my tab for the duration. I'm still processing, sort of a Kubler-Ross thing. I'm very disappointed in my body at the moment and have decided to punish it by signing up for a marathon next year. Well, maybe a 1/2 marathon... Interesting to know that all the guys who know me spent a few seconds doing some quick math when they got my news. (How old is Ralph? 49? Whoa! I'm ___! That could be me!) Anyway, I'm just relaxing. No epiphanies, no radical life changes, but I'm still processing. Cheers, RH, Calgary

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Hi Mark: I have been receiving your musings for about 10 mos after I met you at the Single Toastmasters Valentines program. (As a cupid you were astounding!!!) have co-coordinated and planned events for the over 40 singles crowd called “Mix and Mingles” for the last four years, which used to be volunteer driven and any extra monies generated went back to charity. (The baton was handed to me by M.K.) With the demise of Soul mates (A singles for profit group of 20+ years) I have attempted to have the only “exclusively singles New Years Eve Dance in Calgary..you may have heard about it. It is at the Radisson Hotel (I have included an invite attachment). I have opened up space for 250 attendees (have sold about 185 tickets so far). So, I do have tickets available. Would you be able to pass this information on to your readers list?? If anyone who is single, at loose end and alone at New Years Eve we would love to have them join us for a fun evening. Thanks for your time and efforts in all you do!! DZ, Mix and Mingles Calgary Singles, Calgary

-4C/24F, calm, soft cloud blanket covers the city, snow predicted (and wanted), the landscape so brown, so dreary, so dust-laden

muser news - CB celebrates a birthday, congrats!; I had a great little trip to Red Deer yesterday, lunch with DB and a visit with CG, several ‘catch up and late Christmas calls’, drove by a client’s property to check things out, then back to Calgary again in heavy holiday traffic; SC arrives today for a visit

Gusta runs with no regard for anything but her next sniff; she does not notice Wednesday from any other, that most people are not working, that official holidays are over, that the new year is coming, or that the old one is coming to a close

my work load for the next few days is pretty simple; eat, play, read, write and finish things I started this year, finish them this week and to NOT leave any of those bits untouched, unresolved, un-handled . . lingering into the new year; not working this week feels weird, as does working; starting today Calgary, like most places, will slowly resume its normal pace by Jan. 8th

we live in a society where so much is attached to this new year/old year dynamic

I wonder if it would be such a big deal if it were not so close to Christmas; what is it about this date on a calendar that drives us to organize life and business the way we do?

the 'NEW year', this silly arbitrary thing - as is a week or a month - just ways we group days to give us reference points so we know when to do things; April 3 or July 6 or October 15 are just as worthy - they could be the first day of the year preceded by a new year’s eve celebration; totally arbitrary

why could ‘year end’ not be March 13 or November 4th?

everything that is good is going, happening, alive and moving in some direction whereas endings, closure and stopping have such general negative connotations

yet once a year we celebrate the hinge point, marking the spine of the book rather than its
contents; we are inundated by news media (bereft of much real news this week anyway) to
parading pundits, economists and politicos whose only common noteworthy element is their failure to predict anything - they get them together to predict the future . . while we read and listen with interest . . hoping someone will paint the way for us; if we did not STOP, would we not just continue?

why stop, why pause, why lose momentum?

if we did not have this arbitrary STOP, look forward, look back, ‘close off the books’ event would we stop to second guess everything we did last year, to praise or vilify the lucky and the unlucky?

these are not the ramblings of a master procrastinator, but I do wonder if we would function differently if we were not so organized around a calendar year, a fiscal year or an academic year – each arbitrary milestones (or is that millstones?) forcing our activities into organized form around a stop, a start; an end, a beginning

tradition I suppose . . mixed with GAAP (generally accepted accounting principles) . . mixed with a need to focus our thoughts forward, a last backward glance, before we embark on new things

every day, whether the beginning or end of the year, people and memories fade . . fade away, every day new babes are born

we can embark on new things any old time we want

we can close off or end something that is done, any old time we want

any auld tyme

Mark
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Hi Mark. Just catching up on my emails. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year toyou and yours. I enjoy reading your musings even though I don't reply very much any more. Keep up the good work, NMB, Balzac

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I choose to celebrate the "holiday season" from October 31 to January 6th or so....and although some days are more active than other, I much prefer not peaking for a particular day. As it turns out, I usually spend Christmas Day alone, and enjoy reflecting on what has happened, and yet to come. It is comfortable, and by the time the season it is over, it ends gently, not abruptly. I like that. Thanks for another year of great musing, Mark...all the best to you in 200, NC, Coupville

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Hi Mark, Merry Christmas to you and your family. Thanks so much for driving out to Banff to see us. The holiday was fabulous in every way and sadly too short. We'd already decided that it's one place we'll definitely be back to visit again. Canada didn't disappoint. The place was lovely, kind people, great food, wonderful snow, breathtaking scenery. Ed and I walked along the Bow River to the falls and looked out over the frozen river across to the Banff Springs Hotel, admiring all the lovely houses along the route, played pebble bowls on the ice, bought corny souvenirs for family and friends, skied down Mount Norquay at night, rode out to Sunshine Village and froze on the top of Mount Standish, skidded around at Lake Louise, boiled like lobsters at the hot springs on Sulphur Mountain and regularly raided the hotel breakfast buffet like condemned men. We saw mountain sheep, elk, the biggest crow ever, sunrises, sunsets and snow on Christmas eve just in time for Santa. You are so lucky to live in such a wonderful place. It's worth the exhausting journey and the bizarre sense of jet lag just to spend a short time there. And what's more, you can go out to dinner wearing jeans. Season's greetings to all from damp, dull Suffolk, SK, Suffolk, UK

-2C/29F, chilly breeze and cloudy; we walked around the lagoon, stillness everywhere; traffic almost non-existent, homes under construction on our horizon stand silent, not a hammer or forklift in motion, not a sound

this day, the one that follows the one we had yesterday, this day when it is all over

this day when shopping and cooking and wrapping and unwrapping - is all done for another year; the world resumes its usual course unaffected by the good cheer, the eggnog and the sleep inducing turkey dinner

having a Christmas 'day' celebration a day early or a day late is great, but what then does one do on the actual day? . . . coupled folks, I am sure, do that kind of 'alone day' better than singles; they can hang out together, go to the movies, play board games or curl up on opposite ends of the couch with good books

Gusta and I hung out at home alone yesterday, 'twas a brown Christmas here but some snow is predicted for tomorrow to return us to feeling seasonal; my day had family bookends - breakfast with my kids, dinner with my dad - the rest of the day involved a sprinkling of holiday greetings, calls, emails but mostly it was a day of silence, not a keyboard or pen in motion, not a sound

today is a day I avoid the retail world as a tangled frenzy of mall-goers return merchandise, spend their gift certificates and clamour for bargains - the biggest business day of the year for stores amid chaos and certainly the extreme opposite of calm or slience; maybe that is why so many people do it, to avoid the quite privacy, the silence . .when the celebrating fades . . hhmmm ..

Boxing Day is a holiday in Canada and the UK, a British tradition rooted in delivering 'boxes' or gifts from one house to another, a day of just visiting friends, an act of going out of the way to deliver some seasonal cheer to those one doesn't see very often

I'm off shortly to Red Deer for the day to visit a new friend and an old one, then back home to receive a guest

Boxing Day tradition is alive and well

Mark
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Glad tidings to all musers and a merry Christmas, Mark! To you and your family, have a wonderful holiday season and a healthy, bountiful and joyous new year. Lauren and Co., LR, Irvine . . . P.S. I just drove the boys to their dad's house for "round two, Christmas"; it's a delightfully warm 72* in Irvine this morning..sun shining, birds singing, kids falling off of their new bikes..all is right with the world.

-3C/27F in south Calgary this Christmas morning; as we walked to the park it was interesting to watch which houses had lights blazing before sunrise – a beehive of activity – I am sure each having a family story of some sort to tell, each light meaning someone is doing something for somebody, each kitchen light meaning something traditional is going on, each living room light meaning children are destroying wrapping paper; Gusta pulls, her pursuit of that rabbit scent confused by whistling through the trees doing early morning groans, as trunks move to the rhythm of strong Chinook breeze

our dinner yesterday was superb followed by swift gift opening - everyone ripping and tearing except for Gusta who needed help unveiling her rawhide candycane which she devoured completely in under 90 minutes; for those who get the full HTML version of musings, scroll down to the bottom . . family picture taken last night

now time to cook traditional Dec. 25th breakfast for Carla and Krista (fried egg and bacon sandwiches made with toasted raisin bread – sliced swiftly corner to corner so the yoke barely leaks out . . just right for dipping) before they head back to Edmonton for dinner with their mother and her mother

odd I think, not so much because today is a day without news, it is a day when they world is light on bad news; checking newswires indicate little trouble around the world today - some killing and tragedy still goes on but on a much reduced at a scarcely level as troops, insurgents and terrorists everywhere seem to be taking a break for a couple of days

maybe, whatever the faith of folks in war torn places, Christmas can play a role in producing peace on earth for a day or two . . which is too short a time but good nonetheless; to our Canadian troops at Strong Point West, Afghanistan, to musers everywhere . . eat well, be well, be safe - make peace, eat a turkey

a slogan perhaps . . ‘put down your arms, pick up a fork’

Merry Christmas

Mark
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Hi Mark. Well thanks for adding me onto your musings again - welcome reading as recover from PVF after a really nasty virus in September Now battling a rotten cold. Wishing you and all your family a lovely Christmas ..................hope Santa is good to you. All the best for 2007 - may it bring all you wish for. Best wishes. L?, Ipswich, UK

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Hi Mark, A short note to wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best in 2007. I have been getting your musings. Thanks for sharing. Have your perfect day! Regards, M?, Calgary

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First, a very special holiday wish for BB. I hope your soul is feeling at peace today. I told you I would think of you and I am. Mark, it sounds like your Christmas is going to be great. Happy Holidays to you and yours. I hope you have a wonderful time in Maui. We’re leaving for Palm Springs on the 29th and won’t be back until the 15th of January. Lets get together in the New Year. All the best, SB, Calgary

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hello mark........thank u for the seasons greetings, i must confess to feeling very homesick today, this is my first Christmas away from my family and friends! ........i so agree with u, it's those 'moments in time' that make a perfect day, they stay with u for ever .......i know u will be having a very happy day today, and i hope your Christmas is special ....i wish u lots of perfect days and much success in 2007 ....., CG, Morningside

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Hi – well mine is about to come out of the oven. Roasted beets, brussel sprouts, sweet potatoe etc what fun. No kids to share mine with but they are busy with their dad and according to my daughter not having a good time….. makes me look good. Have fun …enjoy your prefect day. I am off to work to wait for Santa Claus. It makes me happy that I can take shifts so people who want to celebrate Xmas with their families can. I am also doing New Years Eve and day for them. My good deed for Xmas. See you Boxing Day. Looking forward to it, DB, Red Deer

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Greetings from Vancouver Mark. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and a 2007 filled with many moments of wonder, happiness, and adventure with family and friends. Nandini and Marvin, NV &MH, Calgary

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Merry Christmas to you and the rest of the musing community, SB, Calgary

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-9C/17F, solitude all around, stillness everywhere, not so much as a ‘thought of a cloud’ in the sky as we walked just before sunrise – perfection; Gusta gaining confidence as she moves from snow to glare ice and back again on the lagoon mixing a gallop with intermittent skids

MW (Calgary) celebrates her birthday – best wishes for your foot & back to have you going strong again soon

Carla and Krista arrived yesterday in time for us to hang out for the afternoon at the mall finishing up some shopping and some eating followed by a three hour sit seeing The Good Shepherd . . good acting but I found the plot slow and not all that interesting

what makes a perfect day perfect, how does one perfect the perfect day?

a cloudless sky, peace and calm, a day with family, a day of rest, Christmas dinner, a day of work, a day of play, a walk on a Maui beach (twenty-four days counting down), and on and on I go

there so many things that happen that one could call ‘perfect’, like a special moment with a dear friend or a total stranger, a great idea, a robust argument, a deal that closes, the ups and downs of ‘learning opportunities’ . . each time those things happen, it is a perfect day

this afternoon and evening I will be with my dog, my dad, my daughters for turkey dinner and laughter; we have our little traditions, the things we do, they way we do them – the laughter, the play, the gifts, the dinner, the Trivial Pursuit finale . .

each year I wonder how many more we will have like this, how many years my dad has left to be part of it, but the variables that will unfold in my daughters' lives is part of that equation too; so many things inevitably change - some others, if I had control over it, I would never change

Carla and Krista are heading back to Edmonton tomorrow AM to spend the day with their mother and her mother . . so today will be our ‘perfect day’; it seems not to matter when we celebrate it but I recognize how empty this week would be if we did not celebrate it . . celebrate it together

I am about to do one of my favorite activities, preparing and stuffing the Christmas turkey - then we'll let the oven do the work so we can take off to the gym before spending the afternoon snacking and wrapping gifts before we launch into our annual meal about 6PM; preparation eight hours, consumption twelve minutes . . this perfect day is perfect

if I could have only one perfect day each year, I pick this one every time

Mark
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Hi Mark: I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Health and Happiness to your family. I always appreciated your musings and that was magnified this year through some tough times. I was reading a book yesterday "Marley and Me". I think you would really enjoy it. It will make you appreciate Gusta even more. I hope we connect more in 07. Regards, MW, Calgary

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Mark, Am in Mexico for four weeks. Pls stop in to say hello in Jan. Merry Christmas, BU, Calgary

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Thank you for your Season's Greetings. Yes another year has passed so quickly, all is well here in Yellowknife with Diane and me. We are still busy with the restaurant and planning our retirement to Nanoose Bay on Vancouver Island. The date is still up in the air although we are planning. It was nice to hear from you and hear all is well with your family as well. All the best and a Happy and prosperous New Year, Larry and Diane, Yellowknife

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Hello Mark: Thanks for the ongoing newsletters, I do read them. As the Season for Christmas is here, I wish you all the best in 2007. Sincerely, HS, Edmonton

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And a Merry Christmas to you, Mark, with best wishes for another great year in 2007. Regards,
BM, from the Wet Coast but enjoying the Calgary sunshine for the holidays

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Mark, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you. We are departing for Philippines tomorrow and will be back on the 25th of Jan., ES, Calgary

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well. I hope it’s the best one ever. Best to you and yours, SB, Calgary

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Hallo Mark,,,, nice to see you again !!!!! nice photo,,,, GREETINGS OF THE SEASON AND A HAPPY YEAR AHEAD, MK,Vancouver

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May you have a Merry Christmas and Properous New Year!, NK, Calgary

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Hi, Mark, thanks for the greeting! I’ve decided against traveling to Calgary over New Year’s … time to stay home and get some things done here. However, maybe the first weekend in February. With regards, and happy new year!, DP, San Diego

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Great greeting! All the best, my friend, KK, Calgary

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Mark, Thank you for everything you do!!! Our relationship is fine. Merry Ho Ho!, MK, Calgary

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Hi Mark, Thank you for your Season's Greetings. I wish you a very Merry Christmas & the very best to you & yours in 2007, MC, ?

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And Merry Christmas to you! Thank you, LG, Calgary

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All the best to you for the season, TK, Edmonton

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Thanks very much! Those are very kind words and not enough people do that kind of thing. It's good to see. Merry Christmas to you too and we'll see you in the new year, GD, Calgary

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Merry Christmas to you, as well, Mark, GB, Calgary

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Mark, Hope all is well. Wishing you grace, joy and peace as the year comes to a close, GD, Calgary

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-7C/20F, calm and bright, traffic is light and it seems no one is out this morning anywhere near our path of travel; perfect for a long walk, just Gusta, just me, just sunshine

I’m nearly ready . . a big fresh 11kg./24 lb turkey is in the fridge, ready to be roasted tomorrow; my daughters will be here early this afternoon . .

few people overcome adversity with as much zeal or laugh as easily at troubles; happy birthday to LR (Irvine) now, precariously, 365 days away from the big five-O

a cease work/start to relax mode overtook me at 3PM yesterday, shopping for groceries, calls from friends and firming plans for the next few days rounded out my day; I caught a movie . . Finding HappYness . . last night with GT, heartwarming feel-good flick based on a true story of someone who overcame adversity by the truckload

we live in a world in which we can live vicariously through others; there is not an emotion, not an experience we cannot find through google, hear about it in a song or find a movie that tells the story or, better yet, a shelf of books telling us just how to deal with that particular thing, feeling or experience

I don’t advocate we all go out and experience a brain tumour in order to learn what that is like – for that, books are fine; what I mean is that we talk about, around and about a lot of experiences far more easily than we try to experience them because it is so much easier

when I think about it, really think about it, seeking hard and exploring everywhere or everyone I encounter rarely yields great results; in business, in play, in any pursuit, the things we seek may be right in front of us if only we take the time to see them

exploring inside – intellectual spelunking I suppose – thinking we know the territory then learning maybe we don’t, bumping into things in the dark . . not knowing if we will find some ‘Lost Horizon’ utopia or descend into some dark place just around the corner from despair and across the path from pain, perhaps stepping up to a place where joy, happiness and fulfillment intersect

there is never a good or bad time for self-examination but I have found the times when we can combine relaxation, the warmth of family and laughter, memories of good times, then it is a good time

we can look around for answers or we can look inside ourselves; may you find ones that you need to find - I’ve found a few but it seems I want to keep looking; I think that makes me better than I used to be, helps me strive for the things I seek

like most things that interest us, pursuing something a little leads to pursuing it a lot – getting a taste of what we seek is not enough, we want the full meal deal, getting a sense of something new or a new approach to something important has us craving to see it all in the light of day . . . the mystery dispelled

taking time to appreciate the difficulties some people face is easy –we can do it a handful or words or sit through a movie or watch a hundred re-runs of It’s A Wonderful Life, but what is that, really?

when is that last time you sat down just to think for an hour?

are you nearly ready to try?

when is the last time you really examined how you feel about yourself or about someone else?

are you nearly ready to try?

our pace is so rapid, our attention divided among so many things – who has time to be still, be solitary, be aware of ourselves and of our feelings?
are you nearly ready to try?

today is the first of 10 in a row where I have that time, where that rest and quiet from the day-to-day pace allows time to explore inside a little

are you nearly ready to try?

Mark
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Have a safe and happy holiday season / new years!, JL, Calgary

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Hi Mark, you speak of giving gifts so I just want to say thank you for being on the receiving end of your gift of writing and sharing your thoughts with me, as one of your musers. May your Christmas be filled with warmth and love and 2007 be full of everything wonderful! Cheers, LM, Calgary

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Good morning, mark My awarness comes slowly but I realize that if everyone around me becomes an idiot in two milliseconds then it's time for me to get out of town and take some time for R and R. AH, Edmonton

-3C/27F, traffic had subsided before we walked this morning; calm, scarce puffs of cloud above, a moonscape below on the lagoon

I was zapped by something - not by a sleeping pill, but something kept me out cold 3 hours longer than usual this morning, my body deciding that I should simply sleep longer befitting the longest night of the year

yes, my Christmas gift shopping is done - one afternoon is all it took + one afternoon a few weeks ago when my daughters were in town

gift giving is on everyone’s mind this week

gift receiving, on the other hand, is another matter most of us won't be thinking about much till the 24th & 25th

gifts come all year round, often when you least expect them - gifts come in many packages, but most of the great ones cannot be found in a store; they never come at ½ price, they are never 100% sweet or 0% sour - the recipe could be complex or simple - my best gifts, the ones I treasure most, are memories of time spent with extraordinary people; sometimes that is symbolized by an ornament on a shelf or a picture on a wall, a sweater I wear, a souvenir or something that brings back a memory - or a flood of them - often many years later; these gifts keep coming my way and I feel so lucky

I had a great catch up call yesterday with MP (an ‘original 8’ muser); laughter, talent, brains & beauty wrapped into 1 dynamo . . nice to catch up and hear you are doing so well

I heard from another 'original 8', SC, who will be stopping by for a couple of days next week; what a great gift of time from one of my most precious treasures

some of you have responded with good humour to my recent rants, others with harsh critique; within every humorous 'venting' for fun and effect there are, of course, kernels of deeper truths and deep anger, but only kernels; these inconveniences of thoughts an circumstance are gifts too, sometimes disguised, but gifts all the same

recent days brought many things into clearer focus for me resulting in some ‘do this’ and ‘stop doing that’ sort of decisions, do that, continue this, explore these good things; it feels good

sometimes, there comes a time, a challenge, to purge situations, people and things which do not contribute to our well being, which drag us down, which get in the way of quality 'anything' being enjoyable - I've mounted one or two of those lately - it feels good to see the results of choices unfold, another gift

in our lives, employment, organizations - surely we all encounter circumstances where someone, someone's actions, someone's inaction and style of operating make us want to pull our hair out - which means we have a choice to make; is this fitting with my inner-most intentions, desires, ethics, values? if not, then the choice is clear . . but first we need to see it clearly . . then when we act on what our belly tells us, it is the arrival of another gift

what I mean is there are times when we must protect ourselves from those who would only drag us down, pull us apart and leave us floundering on the floor; by that I mean people who are not capable of healthy forthright exchanges, cannot face reality and compensate for it by messing with someone else’s world; in Albert Finney style, sometimes we need to tell people like that we are 'mad as hell and not going to take it any more'; in the last 24 hours I had one of those resulting in good feelings, a good sleep, which will save me 12-15 hrs. a month and it frees up ½ a drawer in a filing cabinet . . what a gift; who knew?

I make notes some days as I start writing . . of points I want to cover, people I want to mention - key words or themes I want to work into what I am writing; sometimes it does not work as easily; how, for instance do I work in things that are too private to say, too precious to talk about or too tender to handle indelicately?
appreciating GT - that was my note this morning; I’ve written a lot already this morning without tying into that note at all . . what do I say, how do I say it?

recently I’ve gotten acquainted with someone who exhibits a brand of grace, calm and pretty that is not often found all in one woman – or if it is, then she is rushing by the other way oblivious to my existence – leaving me, as it does most men in such a situation, gasping grasping and gaping wondering whaaa .. whaaa . . what can I do to get her attention, what can I do to get her interested in me?

we start this at a young age . .somewhere between 7 and 11, we carry it around for a long time working on our skills, developing ourselves hoping we will accumulate whatever it is that we must accumulate to be the magnet that draws such a creature toward us

one realizes eventually (some of us need to reach 55 but it is really not that had to learn) that this adolescent behavior practiced for so long has nothing to do with anything happening the way we wish

gifts and extraordinary people come our way at all times of year in ways we could never predict or plan for, but when they do we must stop a while to appreciate them, otherwise we might miss the experience altogether

Mark
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Just want to wish everyone in Musing land a very best for December. And I hope you all have a great New Years too! Here in L.A. (Lethbridge, Alberta) the weather is still proving to be the very best in Canada - so no need to go south for the Winter! No hurricanes, no tornados, no floods, no blizzards, no tsunamis! Best wishes to everyone reading the Musings. Cheers! BC - Coaldale

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Good morning: you seem particularly sensitive to idiots right now, examples demonstrate that 8 out of 10 encounters can involve an idiot. Our only salvation is to recognize when we ARE one and spend the following moments in compassion and change. Listen to the Dali LLama, listen to your dog, wait and watch for signs of change. M in Missoula

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Your comments on Idiotopia and idiots in general created much laughter today … no doubt because I agree with you 100%. Warm wishes for Christmas and great “happenings” for 2007, Mark, B?, Calgary

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Are there charitable thoughts for parents whose children choose paths that diverge significantly from their parents' life life choices. Many suffer enough already. Adult children make their own decisions and the rest of us should not cooperate when adults try to slough responsibility for their own decisions off on their parents. Possibly one of your readers has a better answer for these situations. If so I would love to share it with the many people who tried to raise sons to respect people including women and now find that their adult sons don't respect women enough to tell women up front what their plans are. And that answer night also be interesting to parents whose daughters, despite negative experiences, continue to enter relationships with dishonest men who use silence as a tool of disrespect when the parents tried to teach that communicating honestly is important. Parents are only one influence in a child's life. Mark there is a lot of pain out there, LHE, Calgary

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If you find that idiot repellent, I would like to purchase some. I am so tired of dealing with those who have no consideration for their fellow citizens. Yesterday as I was heading to my home after a foray into downtown I chose to head south on 10th Street S.W. from 17th Avenue. I noted a female jogger on the side of the very narrow street heading toward me and a car also coming toward me. I pulled over to the right and stopped leaving about 2 feet between my car and those parked on the right side so both the jogger and the car could go past with me hitting them or them hitting me. As the jogger went by my car she smashed her fist into the bodywork so I was aware of her displeasure. This complete intolerance of others is demonstrated every day by pedestrians who ignore lights and continue to stroll across streets giving drivers not time to make their turns etc.; and by drivers who don't signal, who change lanes improperly and often illegally and who appear not to even know how to make a proper left or right hand turn. On one occasion I followed a Calgary police vehicle that made an illegal left hand turn crossing into the curb lane (not an emergency situation either). Maybe it's the pace of our society that breeds this intolerance, but it would be nice to think that we all can take the time to think about how what we do affects those with whom we exist in this city, province, country, continent or planet. Have a great Christmas and New Year (despite those idiots who would also take this away for whatever reason)!!, DW, Calgary

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Mark, the prerequisite to live in a world without idiots would be to live in a world without mirrors. We have all been to Idiotville more often than we would care to admit. Time permitting, I will continue to read and appreciate your daily musingand responses. Thanks!, RM, Cranbrook

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I expect you'll be sued soon from someone on Baffin Island. ch, Chimacum

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Glad you touched on this topic. The fellow in front of me was very drunk in the Safeway this morning, staggering and all. At 11:00 am. He actually chugged a beer right there in the checkout line. You can't buy beer at the Safeways in Canada. It didn't occur to me to be upset or angry until afterwards when I was driving home with my 10 month old son watching for drunk drivers. I think you're right about everyone having their place, their purpose in the world. I haven't stopped thinking about this man all day. He spurred a myriad of thoughts on depression at the Holidays, alcohol abuse, drunk drivers... he was there to tell me something. Thank God for the idiots, SS, Calgary

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I know, I know. I know I promised to write or call but ... (insert excuses) That said, I wanted to let you know that I am going to South Africa on Monday and I am looking forward to the time spent with my family and friends. It has been about two years since I was last there when I buried my mom so this trip will hopefully be a happier one for me. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and all good things to you and yours for the New Year. Thanks and best wishes to you and yours, PG, Calgary

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Hi – I was at the mall briefly yesterday to do banking. The parking lot could have been idiotopia, couldn’t get out of my space because people on both sides wanted it and were not giving an inch either way. Today I set my intentions to “pay it forward” with pleasantness. Put money in a persons parking meter who chased me down to by me a coffee. Had a lovely visit with a senior gentleman, I had forgotten that there were any gentlemen in this country. Must run to the mall, DB, Calgary

-1C/30F, calm and overcast, Gusta sniffed out a snoozing bird of prey – too dark to see if it was hawk or an owl, but big wings were flapping fast, otherwise our walk around the lagoon was a simple stroll watching a band of gold and red peek between the horizon and a bank of clouds . . a spectacular start

I made a trip to the Sulpher Mountain hot springs and had dinner last night with muser SK and her son Ed (must be an English term for a 14 yr. old eating machine!); they are having a great time skiing and enjoying Banff . .

today as the shortest day of the year gives rise to the longest night; this evening at precisely 7:22PM EST (5:22 here in Calgary) will mark the Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere – this first day of Winter feels more like a spring morning

from today onward the days get longer

from today onward, summer begins for our friends on the bottom half of the globe

on some fronts, my day may be very long

maybe short days contribute to short tempers, short fuses . . not sure about that

referring to the Marcus Aurelias quote I mentioned yesterday, perhaps instead of railing against the behaviour of idiots (they are everywhere) I should just appreciate their necessity in the world . . accept idiocy as it happens; then I can be more calm in reacting only to issues affecting things I am responsible for and simply ignoring the idiots and their idiocy

but . . try as I might I cannot do that or stay calm about all my idiot encounters

‘I do no suffer fools gladly’ seems like such a proper and dignified way to reference stupidity, ignorance and bad manners, while the charitable way would be to say ‘they meant no harm, they simply did not see it clearly’ . . bah ... humbug

but . .

add to the garden variety idiots the telemarketers and the ‘we are just taking a survey’ person who called me at 7:45 this morning, then perhaps we could address the idiocy issue and solve some real problems in this country; we could take all the idiots . . whatever their in station life . . ship them all to Baffin Island like the British did so long ago shipping criminals to Australia; we could re-name Baffin Island something apropos like Idiotia Island . . or Idiotopia

they could generate a society all their own and we would solve the housing and labour shortage problem in Calgary . . and probably everywhere else in the country with one simple initiative; meanwhile Idiotopia could develop its own society, its own laws as a ‘distinct society’, as a nation within a nation .. (oops, that’s been done already) . . or maybe the idiots could just separate

there would be a problem though, because once we exported all the idiots we have what would happen to new idiots we create?

would we also have to export the parents of every idiot, charging them with crimes against our country for raising an idiot?

what would the criteria be?

we would probably have to have a government tribunal or commission to review all the appeals of exportation orders but all the seats would be empty because we would have exported those idiots too

this afternoon, perhaps with a can of idiot repellant in hand, I will brave the stores to start my Christmas shopping

this shortest day is feeling too long already

Mark
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Hi Mark, Best wishes the Holly Days! Thank you for the warm wishes. A warm weather holiday sounds like a great escape. Enjoy. Life is busy and full of wonder. Golf season now your talking...just have to wait for a thaw. Not much new here looking forward to some time off during the holidays to put my feet up and enjoy a few good books and family. Enjoy the sun and sand...I miss it! Blessing for Christmas, KG, Osoyoos

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There is such a thing as flashing dog collars. Type in "laser collar" or "flashing dog collars" and you'll get a variety of sites which sell collars that are easy to track in the dark. Make it your Christmas present to her. It will keep you both safe. Happy walking with Gusta!, LR, Irvinr

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wow what a surprise! i haven’t had a mark blog since you changed over to blog or right after.......so hello mark! it is funny that you talk about wanting others to change for that is part of the greater lessons that i am learning again this year. the biggest even bigger than wanting them to change is......acknowledging red flags when i see them, with friends, relationships, and work. i cant speak for anyone else, but i think i was taught to ignore them, that anything can and will be dealt with. but as i get older i find that in most cases i am the one who was given the warning flags and then chose to ignore them; so why should it be someone else’s problem that i cannot deal with the behavior or whatever? at any rate my solution (if you can call it that) i tell whomever my concerns the first time it happens, not after i am angry the 20th time. i say that i will attempt to work around something that makes me uncomfortable, or that i cannot do that. the ultimate outcome is that all involved are aware of my feelings from the gitgo. sometimes this leaves the door open for dialogue and of course sometimes it doesn’t, but i have tried leave a safe place rather than a place of anger to discuss things later. this is a big change for me, and while others think it is weird, i find that generally it works. happy holidays mark from kg in van nuys CA

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You can get really inexpensive LED lights that flash or have a continuous on function from Mountain Equipment Co-op. They are called turtle lights, cost about $3.50 and come in white or red. They use an elastic type of attachment that you can quickly loop around her collar and then loop the light through. If you are on City pathways you should have a light on you as well. Pedestrians and cyclists all need to be lit up or wear reflective clothing when using the pathways while it is dark. Have a great day!, SA, Calgary

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Good musings! Thanks. Food for thought, LG, Calgary

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Hi Mark. Thanks for the birthday wish. Things are going very well for me. I met a wonderful man last year, and life is good. I hope things are fine with you - I'll have to check out your blog one of these days. Take care and have a very Merry Christmas!, TJ, Saskatoon

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Hi Mark, I've been off your list for a long time. Were you thinking of me or was it a cyber-quirk? I do salute you for putting it out there every day. Best, H?, Winnipeg

-3C/26F, heavy overcast obscured any hint of a sunrise this morning as another mild day begins; Gusta cannot understand why I don’t let her off leash when it is so dark – she can find her way easily in the dark just with her nose but without flashing lights I would never be able to follow her; maybe I should get her lights?

I had great conversations with SA, LR, SK & SH yesterday + a number of ‘catching up’ emails from a lot of musers . . thank you all; I’ll be heading up to Banff later to meet SK and her son for a bite to eat – it seems their ski holiday is going just great so far

how do we get what we want when what we want is a change in someone else’s behaviour?

I wonder about this a bit; I see so many people who see the secret of being happy being to have someone else make a change but, should that person change as is desired, I wonder if they (either of them) would be happy

accepting people and circumstances the way they are is the best course most of the time, trying to change things we have some degree of control over is laudible . . not often possible, but worth noting because someone cares a lot and wants to help someone they care about

but what is our power to change another person?

nothing, nadda, no way, zilch, zippo, sqwat, impossible

all we can hope for, and I think it is a slim hope, is that we can behave in a way and control the things we have control over to set the tone, to create an environment in which that change might be easier to accommodate . . but we should keep our sticky fingers off the issues that are really someone else’s business to change, or not to change

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” – Maureen Dowd

yesterday was full and I have been pulling out my remaining hair from having the nerve to even begin conversations with car dealers . . but that is another story for a foul language day; I think strangling the guy would be excessive . . but Marcus Aurelius helped me laugh about it:

"When you are outraged by somebody's impudence, ask yourself at once, 'Can the world exist without impudent people?' It cannot; so do not ask for impossibilities."

acceptance . . calm . . acceptance . . calm . . repeat, repeat, repeat

Mark
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Thank you Mark, for your wonderful Christmas Wishes yesterday - very thoughtful of you. I enjoyed hearing about your Christmas holiday plans with your family and then your excited anticipation of your vacation in Maui. Thank you, Mark, for all the help you give me with my business. I look forward to working together in 2007 and best wishes for the best year ever! I hope you find your country retreat in 2007!, SM, Calgary

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Have a wonderful Christmas Mark. I just want you to know how much I appreciate your musings. We’ll be in Calgary for Christmas because I have a new grandson and I am going to hold him and love him as much as I can. LW, Grande Prairie

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Hi Mark, Sorry this is "late". I am well behind in my e-mails and bunches of other things. It's 'the time of the season' and it drives many folks nutty - just trying to shop for the "perfect" gift for children, parents, in-laws, out-laws, etcetera. And, of course, in the work-a-day world, year-end looms and time is running out to do reports and reviews and ratings and .......... I forget what else! I sympathize with you on the aches and angst of these dark, cold mornings. I am a sun lover (with a "grouchy" back) and I wish that I was planning a Maui trip to revitalize myself. Meanwhile, the fact that I wake each morning, aching back or whatever, is a little boost in itself. I have been given one more day to ............... you fill in the blanks. That is the great novelty of each new day, filling in the blanks in your own way. It can be going to work, by train or by car (a choice with varying pluses and minuses), and head to work - to finish yesterday's "leftovers" or face the new challenges that will present themselves, as certainly as I am sitting here at 7:20 PM writing to you. Why, because I heard you asking for kindred spirits to answer and help to keep you "up". I hope that I'm not too late to buoy your spirits. You do a most remarkable and commendable job of offering help and encouragement and stimulation of the kind of thoughts that drive us to "get up and get at it" - on a daily basis! So, keep up the Musings and know that they can sometimes be the "light" that some of us need when the sun just isn't shining long enough or strong enough. All the best to you (and to Gusta), JN, Newmarket

0C/32F, fresh, golden sunrise reflecting off downtown buildings was visible from a high point on our walk, Gusta getting braver venturing out on the lagoon ice, no encounters with beasts or humans

To SA in Edmonton, happy milestone birthday . . just remember that cheese, wine and women get better with aging . . lots and lots of aging; some people are over the hill, but then they go down into the valley and up to the next hill and over the next hill, then that is the one which leads to the home for the severely aged very pretty women with the biggest hearts; unfortunately, DA got to her ahead of me (he has a history of doing that) so I can simply admire my friend

speaking of Edmonton friends, I spoke with MM yesterday; she is just back from paradise where she ran the Honolulu marathon in 4 hours, 56 minutes . . congrats!!

watching Gusta meet her first (yes, nearly 2 now - her first I have seen) cat experience yesterday; she the curious nosy playful outgoing ambassador of all things dog, she simply wanted to introduce herself, wanted to play – the reception she got was hostile, cold and repelling, though I suppose that cat wanted to have fun and play too; the cat did not have a new experience, while Gusta’s was fresh and original, mostly

sometimes I think about that old saying, not sure who said it, ‘the truth shall set you free’ which is interesting but untrue in so many cases; I think most people avoid the truth like it was a major traffic hazard – the world’s largest pothole – because of the uncertainty of going there, the uncertainty of what people might think, of what people might know about us; examples show up every day of people so pre-occupied with keeping up the masks, barriers and defences that they appear to lose sight of what the truth really was in the first place so we are left with so much that is about nothing, mostly

when I examine things that drive me, mostly, I recognize how primal they are; to be warm, fed, cared for; to have an appetite for things which pleasure the body, the mind, the ego (and its friends Id & alter-Id & things Freud and Jung understand)

some days are better than others, the ones where sufficient sleep has been had the night before are often better, mostly, but sometimes fatigue gives way to a greater level of relax-ed-ness, it helps us relax our guard, worry less about how anyone else might regard one thing or another, to simply tell it the way it is, to simply do things, say things and express things as they come to mind, mostly

how primal we all are, how simple we all are to figure out, how basic and universal our needs, mostly

we are the best animals yet invented/evolved; we try to learn so much from each other that we sometimes fail to learn from the best teachers – watching ourselves and watching other animals – the observances of behavior explaining far more books do (except of course for the one I am writing), mostly

every day in almost every way, telling something that is near the truth is so much easier to do that telling the truth – than shining light on what is real, without embellishment, condiments or grease on its wheels; the truth is not scary at all, but fear of telling it scares the excrement out of most people most of the time, mostly

the truth, or the pursuit of it, is not about truth as much as it is about confusion: truth telling (not to be confused with story telling), getting to know someone, getting them to know you too – this is huge challenge – because of assumptions that get in the way; the ‘wondering’ what someone will think, what they do think what they are thinking right now, why the are thinking it, why they will be thinking about what they are thinking about next, why they called or why they did not call, what they want, what they say they want, what the difference is, what will come next and what will come after that, mostly

after considerable scheduling challenges last week, Gusta and I finally got there . . had a great dinner and visit last evening with GT & her retriever Gracie; these two seemed to have lots to laugh about . . . so did Gusta and Gracie, mostly

Mark
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I thoroughly enjoy your musings, but I haven't gotten any lately. I miss reading your musings. Please put me back on your list. Thanks!, SG, ?

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Hi Mark, just had to respond to your email from yesterday. Consider yourself hugged!! It could be the time of year, and all of our unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, or it could just be a rocky couple of days. Take heart, we all have them. Sounds to me like you need some R & R in Maui or anywhere else where there is sun, sand and big bugs. Book your trip. Merry Christmas, and I hope your holiday is filled with all the things that make for great memories, jk, Calgary

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It's been a while since we spoke, I am a little surprised to see your mail here but I can certainly send a good thought your way. Take care, MF, Missoula, Montana

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Mark: This poem fits well into some of your musings lately about the need to slow down our hectic life style. It really spoke to me about what is important in life. I didn't get any additional contact information other than what is attached .. and it is rather incomplete. Take Care and have a great Christmas....your musings are always appreciated, RDM, Calgary

-1C/30F, light breeze warming up to melt the last of the snow and ice – brown Christmas for Calgary is likely; sometimes we walk in darkness, but this morning light and lightheartedness found us; Gusta had the ultimate conundrum as we encountered two massive jackrabbits, one went left, one went right . . Gusta just stood there, moving her head like she was watching a tennis match – her feet were glue, not knowing which way to go; now the pre- sunrise, speaking of ‘lifting me up’, the underside of every scattered cloud, every scattered whisp is some bright variation of pink/magenta theme – the sun seems to be lifting them up

gloom invades us all from time to time - great when it is short, shallow & over, not so great when we appreciate the depths of strife and despair so many people are experiencing, both around the world in 3rd world countries, or around the cash-corner nearest you

it is the season for giving; yesterday many of you gave me a lift when I needed it; today, lets all try to give a lift to someone else who needs it far more than me . .

Q. what do you get when you mix an all-nighter, a pot of coffee and some very quiet time – that time in the middle of the night when not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse?

A. inspiration, recognition of the endlessness of endless possibilities we all have; we just need to just 'be', to be part of our surroundings, of our reality . . to look around and revel in it

some party that was!

no one came - my 24 hr. virus, my self-pity party had a short shelf life; thanks to DL & DB who leant an ear/shoulder, to those ALL who wrote yesterday – you did indeed lift me up; thanks especially to JR who lives by what she wrote - an inspiration to us all to do more, to do more than we do, to do something; everywhere I look, I see there is opportunity, goodness in people and a chance to make a difference, however small, in our world

where are you looking?

sometimes I feel like Gusta, torn between two delicious notions to chase, but more often there are MANY - I feel (I love this phrase I stole from Mike Lipsey) 'like a one-eyed dog in a meat shop'

those opportunities are everywhere; opportunities to help, opportunities to succeed, opportunities to knock down obstacles - yes, everywhere

if you don’t think so, how hard and how deep are you digging?

sometimes we don’t need to dig . . we just need to look around to see help, opportunities and an easier path, with nothing blocking it but our own mindset

the best things in life are free, so someone said; I think all things come with some kind of cost/consideration or accommodation we make - which is fine; the question is, where are all these best things located?

are they hidden under rocks, across the country, under many layers of camouflage or are they in plain site, in our own postal code, around the corner or down the block . . or across the office?

we all need to look around more . . but we need to stop and SEE what /who is there

likely someone offering us a lift

Mark

You deserve the down time and rest. We all reach a point where we just need some time alone in a subdued state. It is easy to get lot’s accomplished when we are feeling upbeat and full of energy. It is the truly dedicated that can still get things accomplished when they are lacking energy and motivation. You have the responsibility (self imposed) of providing witty and insightful thoughts that help motivate thousands of others, impressive……..even on a bad day! Take Care, MW, Calgary

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I marvel at your ability to remain so consistent with your musings. I imagine sometimes that you have a million post-its on a board in front of your desk, as I did when I was in University, to relieve the writers-block when it strikes like a harsh wind, leaving you out of breath. As for what inspires me, my son does, every day, seeing the world through new eyes, discovering things like how hard you can splash water in the tub or what a piece of fruit tastes like for the first time. I worked with kids for nearly 11 years and find this to be an amazing source of inspiration. They allow us to see the world through new eyes, to marvel at simple discoveries. It reminds me to take pleasure in the simple things in life. It's a refreshing changefrom the inner demons. I think it helps to balance out the complexity, SS, Calgary

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Hi – you sounded low in your musings. Maybe low light, low immunity, low energy but not your usual self at all. I am back at work, well rested and working on next terms assignments. I may as well get things done while I have some time. Reading an awesome book I think you would like called SHAM, I would give the author’s name but I have apparently lost it in my piles of books and papers. This is the time I like the best in school, new books. I still haven’t decided on my Leadership book but I have had Presence by Peter Senge come highly recommended by a couple of people. I will keep you posted. I am revisiting Covey but I keep coming to the “oh for crying out loud” point and then I put down. Not sure what irritates me about it but I think its what the author is taking about in SHAM. Rest, get yourself healthy and be grateful, Big Hug, DB, Red Deer

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Hi Mark: You sound sad and lonely. Want to come over for a pizza and DVD tonight? MH, Calgary

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Hi Mark, it's my first feedback to you, although I enjoy reading your daily thoughts very much. What gets me up?? When all else fails, hope remains, and when my hope is faltering, dimming, and seems hard to reach, I read about the hope of others...others who, compared to me, have had no reason to maintain their hope. And yet they still do, despite poverty, suppression, threats, ill health, persecution, and a host of other circumstances the world has bestowed upon them. To lift yourself up, you need only to step out of your world into that of another fellow human, whose spirit shines with hope despite it all, JR, Olds

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I don’t even know how you ended up in my mail box. Here you are a commitment to share your morning thoughts with us or yourself while you write them. Today since many days had past I choose to read your words Mark. I am lost some mornings in fear that time is slipping by and some days I wake up in thrill of the beauty which surrounds me. I promised no matter how I feel I take my golden retriever Taho to the ocean. Sometime in the mist, sometime in the rain. It has been so dark and I too ache for Dec 21 when the sun will slowly take a hold of the day again .. minute by minute. Could it be that our only job is to be at aw with the worlds beauty....letthe sadness and thirst for isolation flow through us...not lingering long so the sun can shine inside of us. Today I think of you. And honour you for all these words you have written.. if you wanted to or not. This is my first note. Ambleside Beach is where I live and walk my 8 year old Golden. Taho is one who loves to play with all humans and all kind dogs .. for I love to talk to all humans...wonder what makes them sad and happy .. and who I can be to let them know they are beautiful. I work in an office tower .. hooked into Toronto office world .. working away to move projects forward. I am a full time student in learning to understand or gain knowledge of this interesting world.... Ha sounds funny writing it .. and it is true!! I am turning 41 in 7 days .. time to ponder the moment of now...SH, Toronto

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Re: unreasonable seasonal greetings - Dec. 15 musing . . Isn't legislating the removal of the tree unfair to someone?, RC, Calgary

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So SAD to hear you like this! While you don't sound like the Mark I know, it's good to know that you experience the same vulnerabilities, disappointments and stress responses known to the rest of us. Recognize your Humaness and celebrate it. Row your own boat until you reach the shore. Seasonal Affective Disorder runs rampant this time of year, Christmas celebrations exacerbate those feelings. I recommend Medical attention if your fatigue persists for greater than 2 weeks or becomes complicated with more serious symptoms. This year is different for me and I will not be visiting the SAD place. New person, new events, new celebrations enhance what I already have. I look forward to the celebrations, all the people in my life and the events of the next week JOYfully! rnRN, Calgary

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Merry Christmas Mark. Despite your gloomy thoughts, you look good, SX, Calgary

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I'm a basket case!! - Hoping you are feeling better tonight than you were this morning....do you think that the "blues" go with the season? I am blue today - and have been all week - and will continue to be "hidden, inside me" throughout the Christmas season. My "baby" has just left with his gal and they are driving to Yellowknife where he will spend Christmas with her and her family and then drive home. And yes, I know that as a mother I should not be selfish and that I knew when I gave birth that there would be a time when all my boys would not be home with me for Christmas. And yes, I know it is only one day that they are with me. And yes, I should be thankful that they have been home with me up until now and they have chosen to be with me. And yes, I should be thankful that they are healthy and happy and yes, I know it could "always be worse". But I'm the mom....and I have a right to be blue....he's my baby and he and I went through some tough times together. I know he is happy and doing what he wants to be doing....and I know also that I am a wonderful mom and that he loves me. It's not only that he will be gone - but that they are driving 20+ hours, in the dark and he will then return home and drive by himself 20+ hours back. Of course I've done the list - do you have money? do you have cash? do you have an extra fan belt, oil, food, candles, flares, boots, mitts, cell phone charger, AMA??? and the answers were yes, yes and yes .... Later today, after tears, after wandering the house, after going to town for coffee and wandering Superstore ( the store that I detest but it is big enough to waste some time in), I came home to balance my cheque book (yes, I do that....to the penny, I might add!) and there in my wallet was this poem.....which I had copied but don't know the author. - "Kites" -
"I see children as kites.
You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them unitl you are both breathless.
They crash----
You add a longer tail----
They hit the roof.
You pluck them out of the spout
You patch and comfort
Adjust and teach them
You watch them lifted by the wind
And assure them that------
Someday they'll fly.

Finally they are airborne
But they need more string
And you keep letting it out
And with every twist of the ball of twine
There is sadness that grows with the joy
Because the kite becomes more distant.
And somehow you know
That it won't be long before that beautiful creature
Will snap that lifeline that bound you together
And soar as it was meant to soar
Free and alone

And only then do you know that you did your job."
(initials withheld on request)

. . .

OK, let's pretend (hmm) that you are a device for thought transmission and receiving. Your brain is the dial for fine tuning what you transmit and receive. OK, use your tuning device to filter out the negative thoughts and to find the right channels for positive thoughts. OK, listen for the static and discomfort of unhappiness evidenced in your mind and body as they are clues to fine tuning. OK, practice this fine tuning for as long as it takes and eventually you can become a nothing-but-joy device. OK? ch, Chimacum

. . .

Maybe I can help you up..... I was up at 7:00a.m. this gorgeous Sunday morning....had my famous protein shake, then off to the gym. Spent 90 minutes at the gym doing mostly a cardio workout and bopping to MUCH music. Had an awesome workout! I washed my car and came home to make my daughter and her boyfriend our usual Sunday morning Banana Pancake ritual breakfast. I feel absolutely great (didn't always)....and why???? Because while I'm having my "shake" or driving to the gym, or boppin to the music....I concentrate on everything wonderful in my life.... I recently watched the movie/documentary "The Secret"....it's a must!!! It has changed my focus and vision entirely. Since watching it I have developed my "Vision Board" or as some call it a "Focus Board". I spent a day printing out pictures of all that is important to me in my life...what I value and what my goals are. It puts a visual to my vision. I completed the Board over the weekend and focus or concentrate on it for at least several minutes every day. It is sooo uplifting, invigorating, and inspiring. I feel so great....I'm exercising harder, eating sooo much better, and focusing on exactly where it is I am "going" in life. Through this, I have a much better "Me" to offer all those around me. I am a better employee, better Mom, better friend...etc. (I think my dogs, fish, and frogs are happier too)! Mark, this may or may not help you, but it's a great place to start. Watch "The Secret" (you can explore it online if you haven't already). Start focusing and planning your future in a very detailed, focused and very visual way. Not just by envisioning in your mind....but putting a visual to what you imagine...the sky is the limit. Have an awesome day and week....it's going to be a wonderful one! You are doing such a great job Mark. Even when it's a "help me up" call...it's a message that many of us can relate to....so no worries....it's honest and that's the key to relationships of all kinds! Enjoy Maui....I'm off to L.A. and a Mexican cruise....SOLO!!! in exactly one month today. It's the first real trip I've taken in years. I can hardly wait!!!, JCG, Calgary

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Christmas Political Correctness - For reasons that escape me ,the Christmas season seems to bend many people out of shape. The attached invitation may add some useful perspective., DR, ?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone
Re: Christmas Party DATE: December 1
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. Full open bar, and plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

*******

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize the Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ”Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.
*******
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table... you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if T put a sign on a table that reads ”AA Only” you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?

*******
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone
DATE: December 7 RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps Luigi’s can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Did I miss anything?

*******
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director T0: Everyone
DATE: December 8 RE: Holiday Party
So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi’s prohibit the burning of sage by our ”earth-based Goddess-worshipping” employees,
but we’ll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band’s breaks.
Okay????

*******
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone
DATE: December 9 RE: Holiday Party
People, people, nothing sinister was intended by the idea of having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of ”Santa” does happen to be
”Satan”, there is no evil connotation to our own ”little man in a red suit.” It’s a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine’s Day. Could we PLEASE lighten up a little?
*******

-13C/8F, overcast, Chinook arch in view so milder temps are likely on the way for the next few days; our pre-dawn walk along the lagoon route was uneventful, we saw the Scottie owner who grunted something somewhat pleasant in response to ‘good morning’, Gusta’s silent tail wagging only inspired 2 Scotties barking which did not please their disciplinarian . . oh well

I have some deep need to tell you something, to tell something to everyone, or a decision to write every day, to comment on the human circumstance - I have been asked many times about the source of my daily inspiration; easy to answer but I wonder, what causes this need to spill on the page each day?

I want each word, each phrase, each sentence as it leaps to the screen from my keyboard to be not so much as opportunity for me to expound as it is to generate discussion of new ideas, to stimulate discussion on subjects that matter to many of us

some days, like this one, like the last few days . . . the joy is harder to come by, the words tougher to find

often as not, my mood, attitude and demeanor affect my writing; perhaps this is one of those days; my weekend has been anti-social - I turned aside three very kind invitations to spend some holiday-cheer time last night, opting instead to hang out with Gusta and get to bed early

not sure if I have something ailing heart or body, not sure if it is worth a doctor visit or just that I need more rest; this morning my back is a little sore, perhaps from over-sleeping, yet I feel like I could easily sleep another eight hours

some comfort in ‘four more sleeps’ till days begin to grow longer, nights shorter; four more sleeps till the dynamic of ‘each day is a little brighter’ will help us see more light, but that will not resolve dry skin, dry hair, brittle fingernails . . for that I need humidity, for that I need to be in a warm and moist place - further comfort in that one month from today I get on the plane bound for Maui . . a place of warmth, humidity, sand and sand-traps . .

some days, I get sore
some days, I just get a sore back
some days, I strike a chord with someone
some days, I spread a hug or a lift or a shift in viewpoint
some days, I feel better just for having written something
some days, I ring the clarity bell for me . . sometimes for others

its your turn: tell me what gets you up, what gets you down, what gets you up again

help me up

Mark
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