Musing

-3C/27F, traffic had subsided before we walked this morning; calm, scarce puffs of cloud above, a moonscape below on the lagoon

I was zapped by something - not by a sleeping pill, but something kept me out cold 3 hours longer than usual this morning, my body deciding that I should simply sleep longer befitting the longest night of the year

yes, my Christmas gift shopping is done - one afternoon is all it took + one afternoon a few weeks ago when my daughters were in town

gift giving is on everyone’s mind this week

gift receiving, on the other hand, is another matter most of us won't be thinking about much till the 24th & 25th

gifts come all year round, often when you least expect them - gifts come in many packages, but most of the great ones cannot be found in a store; they never come at ½ price, they are never 100% sweet or 0% sour - the recipe could be complex or simple - my best gifts, the ones I treasure most, are memories of time spent with extraordinary people; sometimes that is symbolized by an ornament on a shelf or a picture on a wall, a sweater I wear, a souvenir or something that brings back a memory - or a flood of them - often many years later; these gifts keep coming my way and I feel so lucky

I had a great catch up call yesterday with MP (an ‘original 8’ muser); laughter, talent, brains & beauty wrapped into 1 dynamo . . nice to catch up and hear you are doing so well

I heard from another 'original 8', SC, who will be stopping by for a couple of days next week; what a great gift of time from one of my most precious treasures

some of you have responded with good humour to my recent rants, others with harsh critique; within every humorous 'venting' for fun and effect there are, of course, kernels of deeper truths and deep anger, but only kernels; these inconveniences of thoughts an circumstance are gifts too, sometimes disguised, but gifts all the same

recent days brought many things into clearer focus for me resulting in some ‘do this’ and ‘stop doing that’ sort of decisions, do that, continue this, explore these good things; it feels good

sometimes, there comes a time, a challenge, to purge situations, people and things which do not contribute to our well being, which drag us down, which get in the way of quality 'anything' being enjoyable - I've mounted one or two of those lately - it feels good to see the results of choices unfold, another gift

in our lives, employment, organizations - surely we all encounter circumstances where someone, someone's actions, someone's inaction and style of operating make us want to pull our hair out - which means we have a choice to make; is this fitting with my inner-most intentions, desires, ethics, values? if not, then the choice is clear . . but first we need to see it clearly . . then when we act on what our belly tells us, it is the arrival of another gift

what I mean is there are times when we must protect ourselves from those who would only drag us down, pull us apart and leave us floundering on the floor; by that I mean people who are not capable of healthy forthright exchanges, cannot face reality and compensate for it by messing with someone else’s world; in Albert Finney style, sometimes we need to tell people like that we are 'mad as hell and not going to take it any more'; in the last 24 hours I had one of those resulting in good feelings, a good sleep, which will save me 12-15 hrs. a month and it frees up ½ a drawer in a filing cabinet . . what a gift; who knew?

I make notes some days as I start writing . . of points I want to cover, people I want to mention - key words or themes I want to work into what I am writing; sometimes it does not work as easily; how, for instance do I work in things that are too private to say, too precious to talk about or too tender to handle indelicately?
appreciating GT - that was my note this morning; I’ve written a lot already this morning without tying into that note at all . . what do I say, how do I say it?

recently I’ve gotten acquainted with someone who exhibits a brand of grace, calm and pretty that is not often found all in one woman – or if it is, then she is rushing by the other way oblivious to my existence – leaving me, as it does most men in such a situation, gasping grasping and gaping wondering whaaa .. whaaa . . what can I do to get her attention, what can I do to get her interested in me?

we start this at a young age . .somewhere between 7 and 11, we carry it around for a long time working on our skills, developing ourselves hoping we will accumulate whatever it is that we must accumulate to be the magnet that draws such a creature toward us

one realizes eventually (some of us need to reach 55 but it is really not that had to learn) that this adolescent behavior practiced for so long has nothing to do with anything happening the way we wish

gifts and extraordinary people come our way at all times of year in ways we could never predict or plan for, but when they do we must stop a while to appreciate them, otherwise we might miss the experience altogether

Mark
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