Sunday, April 13, 2008

 

write some more - Sunday Apr. 13, 2008


today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: 4C/40F, light overcast being pushed away by a monster Chinook arch, it was zoo like this morning on Lake Mead Green as rabbits held the island and a Mallard pair patrolled the alley, a Magpie perched on the highest point of a weeping willow tree – Gusta paid them no heed, preferring instead to stroll to the soccer fields and back, the lone critter getting all my attention

if I don’t like the day, I can make one up – make a better one, a longer one, a day full of laughs or tears or both; a day of work and play 31 hours long – all I have to do is think it and it is so; so I will, so I can, so can anyone; that may sound bizarre to some, but given the world today will not look anything like the world 100 years from now, I think by taking off on some new path my chance of flourishing is not so bad because sitting still has zero chance of being anywhere I’d want to be in the future

many times I’ve thought I must be missing something – an ability to figure out what I need to figure out, the skill to make everything I want to happen, for dreams to come true and fantasies too – what could it be?

I read a piece by someone (a writer) lamenting he had to get a real job because writing wasn’t paying much; he expressed in very poor taste (no wonder no one hired him) that he really didn’t want to work and couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t want him

I grew up in the world of my parent’s generation when most people most often had only one career, often only one employer their whole life; today expectations of employment on a full time basis - a career path with one employer – is unheard of; it seems the notion of wanting anything has evolved to where it is generally available in whatever slice, place or terms we might want it provided we want it badly enough to do what needs to be done

its not the time or who it’s spent with, the trick is to think like mad, and imagine madness so no one knows the moments when I think I’m quite mad – or completely bonkers – to imagine what I imagine, to live this charmed lucky life; I fantasize about idleness, but not long, I can’t do idle well, or wild; instead I work at dreams and dream at work and write and work some more so one day I can just write and write and write some more

I’ve figured out that no one has it figured out; each time I write some more I seem to figure out a little more – might be mad - I prefer to let it make me glad that I can think and write and work and play and no one has to give me permission, no one has to hire me, no one has to do anything at all; I do, I’m the one, I’m the guy who has to think for me, dream for me, write for me – not you; you get to do for you, you get to dream for you – not me

Mark Kolke
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... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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