Musing

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

walk report: -15C/4F, overcast, invigorating, Gusta was a little sluggish this morning - I think she misses the menagerie at PB's but that was quickly forgot as she romped around the lagoon this morning; now sleeping at my feet, her 'dog dream' noises - twitches and soft whimpers - makes me wonder what dogs dream of; maybe the stress of coping with reality, thrill of the chase, delicacy of keeping a work/life and sleep balance, the drive to thrive, the struggle to accept her reality and take responsibility for it - I wonder, if dogs think or dream or fret about these things

my mind, open to many things, closed to few – I like it that way; I’m no tower of intellect, no pillar of community, no clarion voice – just a soft whimper in the wind, unnoticed by the world - no point tilting at the wind, the wind doesn’t care or notice life at all, it just keeps blowing and, contrary to the song lyric, the answers are somewhere else

we all decide where we place emphasis, passion and time; convenient perhaps to have clearly stated ‘mission, vision, values’ statements as if our ‘self’ is an organization – maybe then we should re-engineer our lives by viewing the end product first, then work backwards to assemble the ingredients required to get there; today is ‘cardiac clinic day’ for my dad – a time I get to share with him, the thoughts these days produce are not daunting but neither are they casual – focused on the point of life and admiring his

down a long path I see autumn leaves in a graveyard, I imagine what kind of epitaph might be inscribed on a tombstone – I want to live my life so that is true when I get there; along the way no one thinks the thoughts I thought they did, no one felt the feelings I thought they did; in saying we are ‘doing what we want to do’, do we do really do what we think others want without examining our own choice making responsibility?

between beginning and end this thing in the middle is called a life – something I spend and often squander parts of; my physical being does work stuff, play stuff, relationship stuff, parenting stuff, community stuff – live and eat and sleep and get up the next day to do it all again, often with little variety, with little feeling of control over circumstances – forgetting sometimes, that everything concerning every moment of my life is within my control, arises from my choices and will only change when I make different choices

in life there is no understanding or consensus on ‘a beginning’ other than to agree there must have been one; in my view the point of life is to live it – live it raw, uncooked, clear; in death there won’t be much discussion about it, and the wind won’t care

the point, if life has one, must have something to do with the deep impression we can make – so press hard, make your impression a deep one – if your life is worthwhile that impression will long outlive you, if not then it won’t; either way the wind won’t care so pick the path you want and leave some deep unapologetic tracks

Mark Kolke
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... with your voice, teach in order to learn


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