Tuesday, September 18, 2007
write a wrong - Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2007
today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park
4C/39F (high 10C), overcast, gentle breeze ripples leaves – their season in the sun pockmarked by hail stones, insects and a litany of weather, worn a bit but barely damaged; they fall to become dirt carpet, peaceful and forgiving of all their short life dealt them
unable to let it slip from view, fade from memory, some things stick with people - holding a grudge, not letting go - as if the wrong done must be held for repeated scrutiny; the more examined it becomes entrenched in thinking, constant irritant like sand grain to an oyster
someone I know is picking up a ‘the relationship is over so I am shipping you all your stuff’ package today; my bet is it contains a long letter of apology – but, because it is a bet, someone sees it the other way ‘round; some people write letters of apology, some never say they are sorry - some never stop; sappy movie Love Story claimed ‘love means never having to say you are sorry’, patently stupid, but we bought tickets anyway; the movie’s point was to generate revenue rather than deep thought, but this issue of wrongs/forgiveness is a never ending saga
atonement for wrongs, slights and errors of judgment - forgiveness of who wronged us is noble but questionable; I was reading up on atonement – much of the literature is biblical and mostly involves sacrificing something live to atone for a sin; giving up something valuable as self punishment makes no sense to me – better to apologize for the wrong and demonstrate to the wronged it was a one time occurrence by not doing it again, by moving on; the nature of killing something alive to make up for a mistake is bizarre to me but it seems to be an abundant legacy in history and literature
we all do wrong; hurts do not have to break flesh or spill blood to cut deeply, we all do wrong some time to someone, we wrong them, we slight them, we hurt their feelings, we make a miss-step or commit a faux pas on a grand scale; these errors in judgment, timing, thought or motive are not blemishes on the landscape – they are the landscape
we all do right too; we all do good things for someone somewhere some day; while it may not be on a grand scale or enough to erase a past wrong, it can only be what it is - not enough to satisfy some people, but maybe those folks are never satisfied
forgiveness is no gift at all if it perpetuates an issue, forgiveness is no gift if it keeps past pain alive, forgiveness is no gift when it comes from someone else – forgiveness cannot solve anything unless it comes from within ourselves
no relationship of any value between two people can exist without mistakes and wounds; ‘oops’ moments just as important as ‘I am deeply sorry for having wronged you’ moments; each in time should have its expiry date because dwelling endlessly does no good at all
there is a thought at the middle of forgiving – give - yes, give yourself a break, give someone else a break, cut someone some slack – let them give you some too, we all deserve to forgive others and to forgive ourselves - forgiving is about letting go – of someone, of something – go on now, let something go, it is gone anyway so there is no point dwelling on the leaves that fell to the ground because they are gone and you are still hanging on, worn a bit but barely damaged
Mark Kolke
341,868
202.0
What do you think? Join the discussion - your comments are welcomed - please write.
To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 MaxComm Communications, all rights reserved.
4C/39F (high 10C), overcast, gentle breeze ripples leaves – their season in the sun pockmarked by hail stones, insects and a litany of weather, worn a bit but barely damaged; they fall to become dirt carpet, peaceful and forgiving of all their short life dealt them
unable to let it slip from view, fade from memory, some things stick with people - holding a grudge, not letting go - as if the wrong done must be held for repeated scrutiny; the more examined it becomes entrenched in thinking, constant irritant like sand grain to an oyster
someone I know is picking up a ‘the relationship is over so I am shipping you all your stuff’ package today; my bet is it contains a long letter of apology – but, because it is a bet, someone sees it the other way ‘round; some people write letters of apology, some never say they are sorry - some never stop; sappy movie Love Story claimed ‘love means never having to say you are sorry’, patently stupid, but we bought tickets anyway; the movie’s point was to generate revenue rather than deep thought, but this issue of wrongs/forgiveness is a never ending saga
atonement for wrongs, slights and errors of judgment - forgiveness of who wronged us is noble but questionable; I was reading up on atonement – much of the literature is biblical and mostly involves sacrificing something live to atone for a sin; giving up something valuable as self punishment makes no sense to me – better to apologize for the wrong and demonstrate to the wronged it was a one time occurrence by not doing it again, by moving on; the nature of killing something alive to make up for a mistake is bizarre to me but it seems to be an abundant legacy in history and literature
we all do wrong; hurts do not have to break flesh or spill blood to cut deeply, we all do wrong some time to someone, we wrong them, we slight them, we hurt their feelings, we make a miss-step or commit a faux pas on a grand scale; these errors in judgment, timing, thought or motive are not blemishes on the landscape – they are the landscape
we all do right too; we all do good things for someone somewhere some day; while it may not be on a grand scale or enough to erase a past wrong, it can only be what it is - not enough to satisfy some people, but maybe those folks are never satisfied
forgiveness is no gift at all if it perpetuates an issue, forgiveness is no gift if it keeps past pain alive, forgiveness is no gift when it comes from someone else – forgiveness cannot solve anything unless it comes from within ourselves
no relationship of any value between two people can exist without mistakes and wounds; ‘oops’ moments just as important as ‘I am deeply sorry for having wronged you’ moments; each in time should have its expiry date because dwelling endlessly does no good at all
there is a thought at the middle of forgiving – give - yes, give yourself a break, give someone else a break, cut someone some slack – let them give you some too, we all deserve to forgive others and to forgive ourselves - forgiving is about letting go – of someone, of something – go on now, let something go, it is gone anyway so there is no point dwelling on the leaves that fell to the ground because they are gone and you are still hanging on, worn a bit but barely damaged
Mark Kolke
341,868
202.0
What do you think? Join the discussion - your comments are welcomed - please write.
To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 MaxComm Communications, all rights reserved.
