Monday, September 24, 2007
when I wasn’t looking - Monday, Sept. 24, 2007
today's Musing written and published from Evergreen near Fish Creek Park in south Calgary
-2C/14F (high 14C), autumn chill, brilliant blue sky, Gusta looks up at a honking lone goose in search of a larger family over-flying the lagoon, frost turns wet at the sun’s touch
I’ve looked in many directions, seen dark and bright sides of many lives that touched mine; some I’ve touched, some I’ve just waved ‘bye - often bored by that which taught me nothing, failed to increase my value or raise my heart rate
Inequity everywhere – big/small, strong/weak, fast/slow – wherever we look, reasons to not fit, not fit in; someone or some place out of reach, removed from where we are, the job too big, shoes too big to fill, task too large, expectations exceed capacity to deliver; these are constructs of the mind, not facts, fears more tied to confidence than reality
we find that which we did not seek, not by seeking but my seizing upon what comes our way, not taking things ‘as is’ every time, but by noticing before it passes by or slips away; my point is that we tend to look for what we want and pursue it till we find it, whereas examining what find by accident - seeing what is in front of us often leads to walking a delicious unexpected unsuspecting path - around the next corner or weekend or life altering event, events that impact me most are not what I expect or fear or anticipate – but what I am not looking for or expecting to find; I’ll trip, stumble, feel my way along as though blind and deaf if I have to but I will be sure to touch the things I cannot see, hear sounds I’ve never made and taste things I’ve never cooked before
some people are intimidated by standing up in a group, out in a crowd, or trying something new - expecting trouble they find it rather than expecting solutions, which would find them if they were watching but instead those solutions elude them because they were not looking for solutions – they were looking for trouble; people encounter and reconcile differences all the time; most differences don’t require reconciliation because differences complement one another whether it is mixing flavors in a pan, plants in a garden or assembling a cast; irreconcilable differences – a cute phrase - I think it was movie or book title; this phrase conjures a sense of impossibility, of failure, of frustration because needs, desires or station in life is different; I think it is a stupid phrase
briefly, peacefully, I rested - then it came to its end; weekends end weekly, sometimes just a breather, sometimes inconvenient speed-bump on momentum’s path, sometimes an oasis of quiet - this last weekend, I entered tired, weakly, left refreshed; experience was both new and old, fresh yet familiar – like floating on a cloud, coming home, wearing a familiar old sweater - rest and differences, change and stability, chicken dipped in plum sauce and honey mixture, asparagus and pears, mixing old things new ways, combining things that do not obviously fit, people on different routes crossing paths; forever changed
I have found something I was looking for when I wasn’t looking, it grew beautiful and grand when I wasn’t looking – now I want what I’ve found; my life is what it is - 56 years of experience, difference and indifference - different experiences than anyone else; not all unique to the world, but a unique collection in one person which, among other things, has made me a seeker; I seek delicious foods, drink in extraordinary experiences and taste life’s edges
Mark Kolke
341,724
202.0
What do you think? Join the discussion - your comments are welcomed - please write.
To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 MaxComm Communications, all rights reserved.
-2C/14F (high 14C), autumn chill, brilliant blue sky, Gusta looks up at a honking lone goose in search of a larger family over-flying the lagoon, frost turns wet at the sun’s touch
I’ve looked in many directions, seen dark and bright sides of many lives that touched mine; some I’ve touched, some I’ve just waved ‘bye - often bored by that which taught me nothing, failed to increase my value or raise my heart rate
Inequity everywhere – big/small, strong/weak, fast/slow – wherever we look, reasons to not fit, not fit in; someone or some place out of reach, removed from where we are, the job too big, shoes too big to fill, task too large, expectations exceed capacity to deliver; these are constructs of the mind, not facts, fears more tied to confidence than reality
we find that which we did not seek, not by seeking but my seizing upon what comes our way, not taking things ‘as is’ every time, but by noticing before it passes by or slips away; my point is that we tend to look for what we want and pursue it till we find it, whereas examining what find by accident - seeing what is in front of us often leads to walking a delicious unexpected unsuspecting path - around the next corner or weekend or life altering event, events that impact me most are not what I expect or fear or anticipate – but what I am not looking for or expecting to find; I’ll trip, stumble, feel my way along as though blind and deaf if I have to but I will be sure to touch the things I cannot see, hear sounds I’ve never made and taste things I’ve never cooked before
some people are intimidated by standing up in a group, out in a crowd, or trying something new - expecting trouble they find it rather than expecting solutions, which would find them if they were watching but instead those solutions elude them because they were not looking for solutions – they were looking for trouble; people encounter and reconcile differences all the time; most differences don’t require reconciliation because differences complement one another whether it is mixing flavors in a pan, plants in a garden or assembling a cast; irreconcilable differences – a cute phrase - I think it was movie or book title; this phrase conjures a sense of impossibility, of failure, of frustration because needs, desires or station in life is different; I think it is a stupid phrase
briefly, peacefully, I rested - then it came to its end; weekends end weekly, sometimes just a breather, sometimes inconvenient speed-bump on momentum’s path, sometimes an oasis of quiet - this last weekend, I entered tired, weakly, left refreshed; experience was both new and old, fresh yet familiar – like floating on a cloud, coming home, wearing a familiar old sweater - rest and differences, change and stability, chicken dipped in plum sauce and honey mixture, asparagus and pears, mixing old things new ways, combining things that do not obviously fit, people on different routes crossing paths; forever changed
I have found something I was looking for when I wasn’t looking, it grew beautiful and grand when I wasn’t looking – now I want what I’ve found; my life is what it is - 56 years of experience, difference and indifference - different experiences than anyone else; not all unique to the world, but a unique collection in one person which, among other things, has made me a seeker; I seek delicious foods, drink in extraordinary experiences and taste life’s edges
Mark Kolke
341,724
202.0
What do you think? Join the discussion - your comments are welcomed - please write.
To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 MaxComm Communications, all rights reserved.
