Musing

I’m not quite sure how I got on your list or who added me, but I wanted to say that I enjoy reading your daily Musings. A lot of times, this email helps to add perspective and help me take a more relaxed step back from the troubles that I’m dealing with right now. So, thank you!, EF, ?

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The first time I met my partner I thought ,'here is a hurting soul'. Hemade me realize how far I had come after suffering thru the same sort of cheating, lies, anger and bitterness in my own life. I also had to make a choice if I wanted to share those experiences again with him and seewhere it would bring us, or run the other way. I think it was Christmas, when he waited until I came back from my time with my family to open the gifts I had bought him and give me his...how special he madethat little consideration feel...how special he made me feel by histhoughtfulness. That was when I made the choice to hang in there. Then it was lots of little things that happened 'when I wasn't looking' that pulled silently on my heart strings until I couldn't imagine him not being a part of my life. I think you are feeling those pulls too. Lifesometimes gives us the unexpected and leads us to greater expectations than we hoped for...but no less than we deserve. SL, Calgary . . PS I didn't get the musings on your Dad, but I hope all is well with him. I did mention before that some come thru and not others, still not sure why?

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Hi, Mark... I am so sorry to read about your dad... by now I hope he is well on his way to a complete recovery. A lot of friends have written you their story and I'd like to share mine with you too, only mine is a funny one... well, not at the time, but later. In 2002, my husband and I had a very bad motorcycle wreck. He was life-flighted to St. Elizabeth Hospital in Beaumont, TX. He was there for about a week and a half and because we lived in La Porte, I just stayed at the hospital with him. They were very accommodating with a bed for me and a quick trip to Wally got me a new wardrobe... such as it was!! After a couple of days, I got the hang of the place and the lay of the land... they were very short of caregivers and instantly made me into one since I was there 24-7. I went along with this for a few days... changing bed linens, reminding them when it was time for his various medications, keeping track of what went in and out of his system, etc. I was rocking along pretty good, when one of the nurses-wanna be doctor (at 3:00AM) decided my husband needed a "stool softener." Now, this was a man who could hardly move, much less get up and go to the bathroom... tubes were everywhere and all had to be handled to help him get up... by me, of course... by this time, I was the "official" caregiver. Long about 3:00PM the next afternoon, the "stool softener" kicked in and by the time he decided he needed to go and I could actually get him to the bathroom, it was too late. This went on for about 3 or 4 times... each time I had to help him to the bathroom, then get him situated in a special chair then strip the bed, wipe it down and then put on fresh bed linens. I had a supply in the room, but pretty soon, I ran out. Down I go to the nurses station... I know they were thinking... oh, no... not HER again... I tell them I need more bed linens... they tell me they are OUT.... OUT, I literally scream... how can you be OUT??? What am I going to do??? After about 30 minutes, they finally found some. By this time, I'm reasonably settled down... did I say "reasonably"??? Ummmm... anyway, 'bout this time, here comes the nurse-wanna be doctor and says she is there to give him his final dose of "stool softener"... I looked at that cross-eyed freak in a nurses uniform and ordered her out of the room along with her stool-softening pills... I never did see her again after that. A couple of days later, we were finally released... you see, we found out that my husband had to start eating before they would release him ... he couldn't eat the food and ordered me to flush it down the toilet... they never questioned me... the food was gone and that was all they cared about!! So, finally... we're outta there ... he is in the wheelchair, everything is piled on top of him and hanging off the sides and I'm just a-pushing him down the hall... as we walked past the nurses station, there was not one smiling face, there were no "hope you get better soons," no endearments or well-wishes of any kind. In fact, I swear I could hear them say... thank goodness that bi!ch is gone... I know it... I know that's what they were saying!!! They were definitely happy to get rid of me, CT, Houston, TX

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So pleased to hear you talking about finding what you weren't looking for... you've come a long way Dear from the first start you made in writing your musings. Makes my heart sing that you were able to recognize your butterfly when she lit on your life. My phrasing isn't quite right but I think you know what I mean. There are such things as irreconcilable differences... alas. Sometimes two people not only aren't on the same page... they just don't live in the same universes. Which makes raising a family together much more than just difficult... truly impossible no matter how much will in the world would like it to be otherwise... even when both are determined to make it so. Sad.. but true. Hugs Dear and happy days to you!!, JB, Klamath Falls, OR

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