Musing

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

6C/44F (high 23C), Gusta and I silently borrowed some time from the park – we borrowed some time on a path, we looked at the sun streaming through the trees more easily as leaves have been falling . . so peaceful, so instructive

have you been to Oxford? . . Nova Scotia’s blueberry capital of Canada, is home to awesome things to spread on toast; tell someone headed that way to get you some; have you been to Oxford (the other one) or any other U? . . U - that letter means learning, a place of study, hallowed halls of scholarship, a place of knowing, a knowing place; so many people who have that experience rarely know their place or their pace or very much at all about anything but that subject they studied; knowing other things, knowing more, takes three things; life experiences of our own, learning from the life experiences of others and reaching some state of mind called KNOWING that we trust – it spreads like blueberries on toast and permanently colours anything it gets spilled on

I’ve only been to Oxford, NS so I know blueberry preserves – I know that living and tasting are data gathering – not conclusions; I know that feelings and ideas and moods do not equal a tangible relationship, but who would want one that didn’t have them as key ingredients?

these questions are just as prevalent in business, world affairs, government scandal as they are in the clinches, in the trenches, in every element of every relationship we have; is it more important to know how we feel, or why we feel it - what is thing about knowing, what did he know, and when did he know it, who knew what, when, how, who knew?

there is a knowing that happens – difficult to describe – but clear as this sunny morning, a knowing about self, a knowing about a situation, a knowing about a relationship – this grail we seek; well, not all of us seek it – there are two other groups, those who have it and those who don’t believe it can be their’s to have; is it better to have openness, trust, magic, excitement, companionship, friendship and passion – or to spend time trying to figure out why it happened or if it is genuine? these elements are at the root of so many questions I’ve been asked – or that I’ve asked myself at one time or another . . but having

this has always been the case, I suppose, but I seem to notice it more now – my life has grabbed me around the middle, there is more behind me than ahead of me, there is more to live for and more lessons on how to live than ever before in my life; I see people who are so skeptical about finding joy in their life – and I often wonder if they’ve had the golden egg in the palm of their hand only to toss it aside as ‘just another egg’

of course I'm not talking about eggs - I mean people, I mean reciprocity, I mean joy, I mean sorrow, I mean work, I mean play - the whole package; I've never lost hope, never given up on finding the person who I want to sit in the next seat to me, never given much thought
or value to the notion that I'll not find it because I always knew; yes, I knew; I've had my share of disasters along the way where I thought I knew only to find out how little I knew, but in those experience came so much knowing; somehow, I always knew I would know you and I am so glad I never got discouraged to the point of giving up, because if I had given up I would have never been awake to notice, alive and alert to act, and then I would have never known you



Mark Kolke
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