Friday, August 24, 2007
E-I-E-I-O - Friday, Aug. 24, 2007
today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park
5C/41F (high 20C), light breeze pleasant in the sunshine, autumn chill will be here soon; one group of ducks are back on the lagoon, coming out from the tall reeds as we walked along the shore, eight young ones – nearly full size - still in tow behind mom, Gusta wagged, they acknowledged somehow - waved back in whatever way ducks communicate
when someone I want to communicate with is unavailable, be it silence across a room or lack of communication across time or distance, thoughts bounce around - a sent email here, a phone message left there; here a thought, there a thought, everywhere a thought-thought - I find myself humming Ole’ Macdonald, feeling down on his farm, E-I-E-I-O; maybe some barnyard critter trick explains how Gusta and those ducks communicate we human critters could learn; communication is one of my passions and one day I hope to able to do it – unspoken, like the ducks and Gusta
assumptions, expectations – analysis – trying to figure out what someone else is doing, thinking, saying, trying to figure out their motives, strategy – these are things we do (I do) every day; I do it with prospective and current clients, I do it with friends, family, colleagues and most people who arouse my curiosity; I don’t think it unusual – I think most of us do it in one way or another – we try to figure other people out when their actions or inactions make us wonder, ‘what makes them tick?’
I struggle with this; in part with people who want to have some degree of closeness with me – in work or play – in friendship, in passion; when I find them not forthcoming, I look in the mirror and ask how open am I? . . do I share openly, do I reveal freely, to whom, to what extent?
the practice of being straight, open, truthful (investment biz friends say ‘full, true and plain disclosure’) seems to have escaped many people who talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk - an ‘under-understood’ phenomenon; the very notion of being open, fully open, seems the opposite of being private, having privacy, having boundaries
I want both, I want it all – but to have it all, I need to give it all; I believe the two can co-exist in one person, in one mind - just as I think they can co-exist between two people – each being open, each being clear, each maintaining boundaries, each respecting those boundaries and resisting the temptation to peek over the walls to see what is so very private and sheltered – wishing, of course, that those walls would come tumbling down so nothing is hidden from those we are closest to – but then, in that incredible intimacy, is the privacy of our thoughts, of our feelings – is that lost a little?
when we are dealing with people who are not open with us, people who seem separated from truth telling at worst, or maybe just sins of omission, information/feelings withheld - what is really going on? does that mean someone is dishonest – wishes to deceive – or does it mean we’ve misinterpreted the boundaries of ‘information to which we are entitled’ ?
coaching a client or having coffee with a friend, some of each yesterday; I often find myself giving advice, offering an idea of something that bears examination – making my point while a tiny voice in my mind says, ‘so, Mark, are you taking that advice yourself?’
Mark Kolke
341,468
199.8
What do you think? Join the discussion - your comments are welcomed - please write.
To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 MaxComm Communications, all rights reserved.
5C/41F (high 20C), light breeze pleasant in the sunshine, autumn chill will be here soon; one group of ducks are back on the lagoon, coming out from the tall reeds as we walked along the shore, eight young ones – nearly full size - still in tow behind mom, Gusta wagged, they acknowledged somehow - waved back in whatever way ducks communicate
when someone I want to communicate with is unavailable, be it silence across a room or lack of communication across time or distance, thoughts bounce around - a sent email here, a phone message left there; here a thought, there a thought, everywhere a thought-thought - I find myself humming Ole’ Macdonald, feeling down on his farm, E-I-E-I-O; maybe some barnyard critter trick explains how Gusta and those ducks communicate we human critters could learn; communication is one of my passions and one day I hope to able to do it – unspoken, like the ducks and Gusta
assumptions, expectations – analysis – trying to figure out what someone else is doing, thinking, saying, trying to figure out their motives, strategy – these are things we do (I do) every day; I do it with prospective and current clients, I do it with friends, family, colleagues and most people who arouse my curiosity; I don’t think it unusual – I think most of us do it in one way or another – we try to figure other people out when their actions or inactions make us wonder, ‘what makes them tick?’
I struggle with this; in part with people who want to have some degree of closeness with me – in work or play – in friendship, in passion; when I find them not forthcoming, I look in the mirror and ask how open am I? . . do I share openly, do I reveal freely, to whom, to what extent?
the practice of being straight, open, truthful (investment biz friends say ‘full, true and plain disclosure’) seems to have escaped many people who talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk - an ‘under-understood’ phenomenon; the very notion of being open, fully open, seems the opposite of being private, having privacy, having boundaries
I want both, I want it all – but to have it all, I need to give it all; I believe the two can co-exist in one person, in one mind - just as I think they can co-exist between two people – each being open, each being clear, each maintaining boundaries, each respecting those boundaries and resisting the temptation to peek over the walls to see what is so very private and sheltered – wishing, of course, that those walls would come tumbling down so nothing is hidden from those we are closest to – but then, in that incredible intimacy, is the privacy of our thoughts, of our feelings – is that lost a little?
when we are dealing with people who are not open with us, people who seem separated from truth telling at worst, or maybe just sins of omission, information/feelings withheld - what is really going on? does that mean someone is dishonest – wishes to deceive – or does it mean we’ve misinterpreted the boundaries of ‘information to which we are entitled’ ?
coaching a client or having coffee with a friend, some of each yesterday; I often find myself giving advice, offering an idea of something that bears examination – making my point while a tiny voice in my mind says, ‘so, Mark, are you taking that advice yourself?’
Mark Kolke
341,468
199.8
What do you think? Join the discussion - your comments are welcomed - please write.
To subscribe to Mark's Musings daily email distribution, write to musing@maxcomm.ca
©2007 MaxComm Communications, all rights reserved.
