Musing

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

11C/51F (high 24C), hot air balloons in the distance start the morning with views uninterrupted by anything but clear and blue, welcome chilly breeze pushes away stifling stillness; a perfect spider’s web (the web, not the spider) strung between trees with the view of the hot air balloons in the distance framed a perfect photo opportunity – makes me wonder if I take my camera tomorrow if I could capture the same scene, or want to

some moments are best savoured, remembered yes, but savoured for just what they are when they are as moments in time, a collective improbable confluence of factors, time, place – the variables, the paths that brought us to this place – this moment in time, so unlikely that we ever connect with anyone, our stumbles and mis-steps add to the unlikely chance that when we meet someone rightish for us that we don’t completely blow it or blow it up before the seeds of growth have time to germinate

of those things I value most I value a clear mind, an open heart, a giving nature, a backbone connected to a big brain, a life connected to something big that matters, a smile smiling at me and a hand to hold – not very complicated really, so what makes a marvelous connection – these ones worth admiring, these ones we envy, these ones we stand in awe of?

how many people do we get to know like this in our lives; most of us meet & marry, great & tarry – short relationships or horribly (sometimes horrible) long ones, with lots of smart factors, logistics, value, values, circumstance and pomp – I’ve seen a few of those I admire, but precious few . . BS & NR immediately come to mind, as does memory of Ben & Kay and DA & Grace, DA & SA . . but a finger left on one hand when I’ve counted them all; Ben & Kay were old when I met them many years ago – they are long gone but their impact remains with me, BS & DA struggle with life threatening illness which makes me both sad and hopeful because these are people who possess all the attributes one might want in someone facing the toughest challenges life brings

what measuring tool, what criteria, what recipe, what wanting, what wishing, what dreaming makes it happen? . . . sure there are ups, downs, sideways; there are periods of great and periods of tough interspersed with periods of calm, periods of joy, magical moments, fun things, stupid things and incredibly foolish things

this week may not have significance for anyone else but me, but if it does then it will be because someone special connected me with someone special who put up with me in spite of myself, someone who tolerates me when I am full of myself who wants me to be all of myself by myself, someone who smiles and admires – someone I get to watch, listen to, someone I get to explore and more, someone I get to learn from, someone I get to teach, someone to hold on to because we want to – not because we need to, someone I admire, someone I smile at, someone I smile about just because she lives, just because she is alive, jus’ cuz on account of how she wuz, how she is

safe doesn’t work for me, safe has not led me to great experience; marriages, divorces and other trials of life make my cautious, not ‘risk averse’ but at least wary of the unknown, cautiously skeptical about the uncertainties of all the things that might happen beyond my control or, worse yet, all the scary things that might happen – but each scary thing is not a bad thing – each time I/we confront a fear, an old demon or a new one, we often risk more standing on the sidelines than we risk being on the field of play

life, or how I’ve lived it, has brought me many challenges – but few have been so daunting as to make me afraid; my fears today are all wrapped up in this ‘I fear missing incredible opportunities, incredible people, incredible experiences in my life because I was not alert to them when they arrived . . ‘; sometimes, we can catch a blunder or two before they turn into losses . . the win-win is a moment to be savoured

a toast, to moments worth savouring with people worth savouring – some for only a moment, some for a long time, some even longer

Mark Kolke
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