Musing

Hi Mark, As usual, great food for thought. I agree with you that it is a matter of "choice" to do the things that are important to us or to others who matter, but I don't think its so simple. For me, it is not exactly the actual "choice" that is difficult, but it is fully understanding, accepting and embracing the price that must be paid .. that I know must be paid, so that I can ACT on my choice. This price might involve some perceived or real loss, or maybe missing out on something else, or disappointing someone. . or it might mean a great deal of effort for me in one new direction and working less at something that I am used to working more at. This will impact others, they might not like it. I might not even like myself, for awhile. Things might not work out. Is that ok? Can I accept that? Simply accept it , without going to great lengths to defend my position (i.e. being defensive), which is certainly not theirs. We live in a society... and in a city...that has a lot of homogeneity and does not encourage/support free thinking/acting that goes against the ideas of the herd, our friends, our groups, our parents. Shakespeare said, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” Yet, we are social beings and will do many things that are not true to our own self to fit in and be loved and accepted. Some believe it is all about love. For me, choices are not simple or easy choices. On top of it all I struggle to find the time to make conscious, deliberate choices and act on them. I realize that not making the time to make choices, is just another choice. Right now I am on holidays and choosing not to do any work, and not working!!! The price to pay when I get back to work will be pretty high, but worth it. Thanks!, KM, Calgary

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Learning to say NO to find some 'me' time is very important. I used to get all the copies of literature that the girls from the Stress Management Course were giving out so I could review them and try and influence my ex a bit in his thinking. He suffered greatly from mercurial mood swings...some of it hereditary to be sure, some of it 'wrong thinking' as my Czech brother-in-law would say. What I found was stuff that could make my own life better. I could never say no to people...I always volunteered, always helped out, was always there whenever anyone asked, instant support in a crisis. There was not a lot of 'me' time and it took a major life crisis (my divorce) to force me to step back, find time for me, to find me, to get it all together again. There was guilt involved, but I learned to let that go too...I amentitled to me time, to make my own choices. SL, Calgary

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