Musing

Another Musing read, absorbed and filed away by me . and . so sadly, another woman read, absorbed and filed away by you . I feel for you . I know you won't give up . you simply can't . if YOU, of all people give up, that tiny dash of hope diminishes for me and others, BG, San Diego, CA

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Please add my friend to your daily e-mail musings list, LL, Charlotte, NC

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I would actually like to forget that May and half of June happened! The trip was great (really great) until I totally wrecked my back on the third last day.....anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxants helped but most of two days in bed and the flights home were not fun. Getting home was difficult because sitting at work, driving the car, walking were all uncomfortable. Then I was only back for a week when my son took our dog to the groomers. While they were waiting for the groomer to take the dog in, someone came in the door and he ran out, right into a car. The vet tried to revive him but couldn't and upon examination said that there was no body damage so it was probably head trauma and instantaneous. My next crisis was my son. A culmination of a bunch of things in his life capped off by dealing with the dog left him quite depressed. I didn't realize how depressed until I came home from work in late May to a note from him that read like a suicide note. Having gone through two suicides in his dad's family makes me somewhat sensitive to the possibility. He is doing better now but it is still a worry. Oh, and having turned 18 he was no longer able to go to the pediatrician he has seen since birth. I had prepared for this by asking my doctor late last year to take him on as a patient which she agreed to do at the time but she had a serious accident this year and was still only seeing a limited number of patients during severely restricted hours. Try finding a doctor in the city of Calgary!!! Through all of this, my manager had decided that I need to write the Project Management Professional exam. This meant attending the cram course twice a week for 3 hours from May 14th 'til June 18th. I have scheduled the exam for August 3rd but will probably have to push it out a bit since I have not done enough studying yet. Things have been looking much better since the middle of June but then a week ago I decided that I needed a bit of extra cash and will be renting my spare room to a university student. I don't mind having another person around....not that a full-time university student who plans to work part-time is going to be around very much. The difficulty is that he would like to move in early August and I have been using the spare room as a dumping ground for stuff I don't want to deal with for several years. I got started on the weekend and it is a mammoth job out of all proportion to the size of the room. Additionally as I decide to keep things I have to find places for them which is necessitating some clean-up in other areas of the house. The result is total chaos and a looming deadline. When Nitro died I was pretty sure I didn't want another dog but I really missed having one. Cats are okay but they really aren't the same as having a dog. I flipped through the Neighbours paper in late June and saw an ad for Cairn puppies. My son was doing better, my course had ended, I was missing Nitro . . I went and looked . . 10 1/2 week old Maggie and Skye came home last Friday. I decided that while two will be lots more work as babies, when they are adults, two is not really much more work then one and they will be company for each other while I work. Until they are housebroken my mother is their babysitter so they are never alone for longer then a couple of hours at a time. She would love to have a dog but for various reasons can't so she is very keen to share mine. I really like the Cairns. When we got Nitro I did a ton of research on various breeds. Neither Sean or I wanted a fluffy, yappy, thick as two planks, lap dog but I was reluctant to get a large dog for several reasons including hair, portability and exercise requirements. The Cairn seemed a good choice - robust, friendly and much less prone to the terrier behaviours that afflict the Jack Russells and the Scotties. He was a good pet and companion for 9 years. ....so that is what I have been up to, BB, Calgary

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Hey Mark; when I was younger a man told me something I have repeated many times to those younger then me and now I am passing it on to a peer. "Don't worry so much their just like buses, if you wait long enough one will pass by and you will always have the opportunity to jump aboard or not." Perhaps it is an over-simplification, but it provides some solace to the looker."T" Here at home, WT, Calgary

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And I quote from your Musings today "someone incredible" See...? YOU don't even believe in her. She must be "spectacular" Those words shouldn't even be used to apply to humans unless they are in a comic book series or the Bible. BUT then, I know you are enjoying the roller coaster experience this is that little dip before you swoosh around the mysterious curve towards the slow climb back up to the high point. Will you throw your hands up as you plummet down? Party on, ch, Chimacum, WA

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A glimpse of the elusive 'her'...I think I believe in the old adage of 'looking too hard'. I do believe you have to keep yourself 'out there', but sometimes you meet someone in the weirdest circumstances...they don't exactly fit the picture you have in your mind of what you want...but they are a great match! My daughter told me I used to act like I was marrying all the guys I dated...but I told her that if Icouldn't imagine myself married to them I wouldn't waste my time dating them ... marriage was what I wanted. So the rest I chalked up to experiences - good and bad, lessons learned, and some great times. The self pity is just a knee jerk reaction that fades (you are so much more than that). The lessons are all part of life and have shown me what I have found is very precious. SL, Calgary

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