Musing

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

16C/61F (high 26C), a fresh breeze blew in here; sunny now, thunderstorms expected; Gusta too quick for me to control sometimes – chasing walkers and joggers – quick enthusiastic forays, then settling down again only to be quickly diverted by the next sniff of the next new thing . . like dog, like owner . . my new shoes are fantastic

I slept fast, restless, morning coffee ingested, leaking out in metaphors; this place is different this morning, a fresh breeze blew in here; grinding gears and cat track rumbles across the road, their noise wafts in and out, just enough to break concentration, non-rhythmic background music; so many things to do, so many on the back-burner already that I need to buy more burners – what am I available for, do I have time for a big project (good questions for me, good questions for you), do I have time for a big project and how do I decide?

every project requires time, distracts from every other - at first, a couple of hours here, a meeting there, sprinkled incrementally over months, perhaps to discover there is no worthy project to be had, or a scope change takes the project in a different direction; is this one worthy, will it make sense later; what about competing projects, opportunities – front burner business needs attention too, issues and values compete - what about them; like Gusta flitting from bush to path, from sniffing to chasing, from running off madly to coming back; back to this project – can I handle it - is it too much, too complex, too distracting, too difficult, too much trouble, it may change the very nature of my business – if so - for better or worse – how much change is good, how much can I handle, how much do I want?

common to most businesses; how to allocate energy, resources, time, direction, focus; mindful of a bottom line today and future – projections, market share – litmus testing whether a particular project or client fits ‘mission-vision-values’; most of us rarely stop to take stock of ourselves and every element of our being each time a new opportunity comes along; a merchant does not re-evaluate his entire business each time a single customer comes across the threshold, constantly evaluating customer wants, customer needs to make sure the right goods and services are available in the right place at the right time at the right price offered by the right staff with the right knowledge and attitudes on display; a merchant examines every opportunity as chance to grow business, make money, build reputation and survive another season without too much inventory, debt, or tangential choices that took his focus off course – customers left behind wondering what happened because their needs are not being met – a business changed, grown, failed – each choice, each consequence warrants consideration

I struggle with forces within me – push hard, push away, pull close, pull away from that which I want the most, bottled up - carefully protected, vulnerable spots hidden under layers, behind barriers, emotional fences surround inner self; oh, I talk a good story, but rarely let anyone get really close; some get close, but not deeply – reserved for so few, how could anyone get in?

a fresh breeze blew through here last night - dinner guest brought chat and flowers too, dinner guest brought challenge and opportunity, dinner guest brought manners and style, dinner guest brought understanding, dinner guest brought a smile, and left one behind

not sure what she took away, not sure I offered much, struggling here . .

Mark Kolke
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