Musing

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

10C/50F (high 18C), cool, damp, overcast; we walked the ridge (today’s picture attachment – scroll down - shows Gusta walking the ridge path through the park wondering what is taking me so long; she doesn’t appreciate my need to focus the camera, she needs to keep moving - no time to waste), the park deserted, the neighbourhood had left for work, school buses too . . moms and nanny’s walking home from the bus stop looking lost and empty handed, like they had punched out at the time clock, waiting for their next shift

fatigue, like what I saw on their faces wore better on me when I was much younger but it always seemed like an embarrassment to admit I was tired, when I had time to be tired; when I was younger it seemed like there was a limitless supply of time for everything that there was plenty to rest or loaf or play idly, but when the middle of life comes along like a bulge on a graph (or one around my middle), there seems to be in shorter supply

spending time spending time is so important because, while we can economize on time, saving it as if it were something to plop into a piggy bank is a fool's game; saving time is like catching up on lost sleep, neither is possible because once its gone, its gone

when this task is done, or that one or the next one, do you sit down hoping it is a long stretch till the next task arrives, or do you chase ahead to get to it early, get to it faster so you will have time for something else you want to squeeze in to this day?

do you ever have one of those days when you ask yourself - what if the new path I tinker with is the right one, the one I should have been on all along, what if the things I want to do are the things I ought to do, what if the things I have been doing are wrong-headed mistakes? . . or is it the other way round

I see waste and lost opportunities and un-done tasks, un-finished tasks, incomplete work, inconsistent work, erratic work – please don’t let that be me too often, let it be someone else; let the past due, overdue, late, held-up, delayed, off-track, or headed the wrong way reasons be someone else’s excuse, not mine

we all do it, but hopefully not too often or the habit would become too easy a comfort to break away from; appetite, energy, focus, labour . . driven in the direction of a goal, my time is all I have to use, my time is the only currency I have to spend; I want to be ahead of time; not on time, but ahead of time, ahead of my time, ahead by a long stretch, ahead by more than a nose, ahead of the crowd, ahead of the pack . . but maybe I am getting ahead of myself

making up for lost time, impossible task; but it seems I’ve largely caught up on those things I needed to for now, but then I’ve missed some other things I could have been doing; no time to make up for lost time because I have all my time pre-planned, live a budget already half spent, I'm spending time spending time

I cannot do that now, no time to waste – there is no factory where they are making more of it that I can buy, no more of it to trade something for; while many people have done great things with much less, the truth is that so many people use up and spend all their time, accomplishing very little – I don’t want to be one of those, ever

my dad, by his example, showed me a work ethic that was unrelenting - I think I've followed that path well, but try to work smarter as much as I try to work harder; the notion being that if I sat down with nothing worthy to do that needed doing, then what would I do aside from admitting that I didn't require any more time to live my useful life - and then I would be done

time is all I have, time is all I spend, may I last till I’ve spent it all; better get there sooner, time is all I want and I want it all

I received a catching-up e-mail note from LR in Irvine who reports all is well, that included this: 'Sounds like you had an eventful but bittersweet trip to Hawaii. I agree with you .. I think you should live there. You need that environment like you need air and water... so, what are you waiting for?'

far from done, I've barely begun spending time spending time

Mark Kolke
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