Musing

Happy Belated Father's Day! I think your last line says it all... "I could have done worse, I could not have done better." A great tribute to a father!, SL, Calgary

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Hi – we must leave our expectations of out of the “it just is” scenario. That’s the truly hard part I have come to discover while attempting to live in the moment. I am heading to enjoy this moment of beautiful weather in the garden. What could be better, Cheers, DB, Red Deer

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Love your musings as always.. just a pelvis problem has me back in Calif... and can't sit for any length of time. So just a note of thanks!!, JB, Oregon

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2006 T/M excerpt from "Shadowalker" Story Telling: "time is merely the measuring stick to your demise". "for all that remains for me to embrace is that which Awaits me at the end of the measuring stick." Perhaps measuring is over rated; just as eye contact is over rated, WT,Calgary

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I like the woman with whom you had the date with, love her comment as she is right. I have since been on a date and I have to tell you, it felt like a 20 question multiple choice, dare not try to pick the wrong answer, but I did. So instead of asking this guy all my questions, I had all but one, I cut to the chase, was very direct and straight forward, he seemed interested, got up, went to the washroom but never returned, you know it's his loss, because I am looking for a few things, none that suited him obviously, but oh well, I am sure someone will come along that will find that a commitment isn't always the root of a relationship or least not right from the beginning, there are other areas in which I would choose to explore, and they are much more fun, intriguing, and interesting. To direct? I don't think so, honest, for sure. TS Calgary.

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think you over estimate the instinctiveness of motherhood. I remember walking out of the hospital with my five day old son and feeling a bit shocked that they were actually going to let me take him home. This little scrap of humanity was totally dependent on me and I suddenly didn't feel ready for that kind of responsibility. It has all turned out pretty well - he is an 18 year old moving rapidly towards competent, independent adulthood - but there were plenty of times in those 18 years when I didn't instinctively know the right thing to do or say and I know I made mistakes. Motherhood, though a profound joy, is not always easy and it is certainly not so instinctive that I didn't have plenty to learn; about him, about myself and about the ever changing mother/child relationship. I think that mothers and fathers get an equal share of needing to learn their roles and both must equally choose to do it. There are plenty of women who give birth but who do not choose to fulfill their role as mother. They either give up the child completely or abdicate their role in other ways; spoiling, over-controlling, indulging, emotionally abandoning, abusing, putting their own needs ahead of what is right for their child, obviously favouring one child over another, etc. Like any skill parenting is one that some people naturally have and others must work at acquiring and this applies equally to the genders. Women do not have a monopoly on maternal instincts and there are plenty of men who have a natural affinity to parenting that many women lack. It actually surprises me that you would assume an instinctiveness about motherhood when from previous musings your own mother doesn't appear to have been a model of maternal competence, BB, Calgary

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