Musing

today’s Musing written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park

6C/42F (high 19C), brilliant sunshine, grass forest everywhere we walked; rain left a puddle in every indentation in Calgary; rivers, creeks and lagoons ready to overflow soon . . Gusta, oblivious to everything imagines she might even catch one of those plump robins feasting on a worm banquet on our path but she cannot grasp the impact of distance; yesterday was as perfect as a record rainy father’s day could be; talked to mine, made breakfast for one daughter, talked on the phone with the other; gifts and cards are nice but talking – now those are the real gifts that matter more than anything else could; we are family – nothing else needs to be known for it to be understood, to work, to continue, to matter, to remain connected

is measuring an experience, or a person, compared to the ‘best’ and ‘worst’ we’ve experiences really a relevant comparison; if we only had chocolate, vanilla and strawberry to choose from, then the choices are clear, but 96 flavours changes everything doesn’t it?

if we’ve only had important relationships with two or three people, then our benchmarks of best, worst, most desirable, least desirable become parameters of measurement; when we have known many people closely, I think the percentage who show up on the ‘preferred’ end of the scale diminish

if our world is small, if we’ve never been far off the farm, then ‘town’ is a pretty big place, a city is monstrous and our world is small; conversely, if we’ve traveled a lot, our gradations of value attached to those we like the most could fill volumes; so, my question is: how do we take the measure of someone, to determine their value, their worth – do we use a tape, a scale, a calculator, a camera; or a touch, a hug, a telephone call; or, do we just dive in to the deep end of the pool and expect things to work out?

someone I had a date with recently said she hates the interviewing – preferring instead to take the job on a probationary basis rather than to be asking and answering so many probing questions, suggesting that: if it works, it works; if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work - I find that thinking refreshing, like Tom Peters’ maxim of ‘ready, fire, aim’

I wonder, when I/we seek a loving connection with someone else – as friend, lover, mate, buddy, pal, confidante, companion etc – why can’t we just use the same process we use with our family members?

we don’t reduce it to questions – it just is; we don’t examine it to see if it has changed, we don’t measure it to see if it has grown; I didn’t ask my kids to love me and they didn’t send an advance email message inquiring if I would love them – they arrived and I just did; it began from the moment they arrived and will last until I’ve departed; the notion of loving someone else as I love my children has a lot of appeal – it would require no thought; in the case of my children, I don’t wonder about it, I don’t think it over – I don’t debate pros and cons, positives against negatives; neither do they

instead of measuring people or of measuring life, I'm shifting toward the belief we might be best off if we just live it and then watch to see the story unfold

Mark Kolke
224,136
203.2


Musings need not be a monologue, but rather a dialogue opportunity to discuss issues that touch a nerve or a heart-string, a sore point or a point of view that will contribute to the discussion. Your responses are welcomed, use your reply button – please give me your feedback/comments.

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