Musing

[written and published from south Calgary, near Fish Creek Park]

6C/44F, sunny, light breeze; Gusta decided to make friends with Mallards this morning, swimming 1/3rd of the way across the lagoon before she appreciated that ducks swim away faster than dogs, 1/3rd is less distnace than 2/3rds (so she paddled back)and that ducks don't like to play with dogs; on coming ashore dhe found me laughing my tush off but unwilling to hug a soggy critter

some days it helps to have some levity first thing in the morning; an early morning email cranky-gram from a client upset me long enough to wreck my hour but not enough to re-write my day . . so Gusta balanced the scales, helped me return to my focus

I write more often than I used to, I think more often, and I think I learn more than I used to; I look around for intelligence - easy to see in nature, in every plant, every critter - sometimes harder to see in people, sometimes challenging to see in the mirror too, as I do things that don't make sense to others or when the actions of others defy my ability to understand their motives

I had a great chat yesterday with a client/CEO of a pretty good sized company; we swapped stories, caught up on market news and discussed motivation; his point, a good one I think, is that the best way to chart the future moves of any company is to find out the reward arrangements for the CEO; his premise is that no CEO will work against his own self interest - instead of taking a company where it best ought to go for the long term, he/she takes it where the best results for the CEO in the short term can be found; a pretty good diagnosis of dynamics of public and privately owned businesses methinks; I could probably get 10 different slants from 10 different CEOs, his argument made a lot of sense to me

I got wondering, if we consider our brain/heart/belly to be our own little board of directors, if we take ourselves where we ought to go in the long run, in directions that are in our best interest, or if we go in the direction that produces the most/best short term reward/gratification (ie: a trip to the fridge instead of the treadmill . . or a trip to the mall instead of the piggy bank)

there are good fiscal arguments against what I am doing today (for that matter, there have been for a long time!) in terms of what is in my best long term interests if one measures that in terms of safety, financial security and continuity . . . but those arguments go down like like dried up day-old porridge with an even less interesting taste

for me, some new uncharted courses, adventuring knowing a majority of things I might try might NOT be overnight successes, some will fail miserably – at the same time knowing some might catch fire beyond my wildest dreams, my sweatiest desires, my nervy-est thoughts . .

what drives me, drove me, changed me?

I am no better a thinker than most, but I sense I think more often, am curious more often, am less satisfied with old or pat answers more often, and do not accept things 'the way they are' more often than do many people I meet or read about; I am looking at my future, long range . . . I am a little uncomfortable and a lot excited about the uncertainty of it, the possibilities of it . . and . . I feel certain writing can never be replaced by a machine, at least not good writing

gotta run . . need to ‘bathe the pond out of the dog’, fix a deal, edit a website and I have a column to write thanks to a telephone interview I did this morning while in mid-muse

Mark Kolke
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