Musing

[written and published from Calgary]

2C/5F, strong breeze under Chinook clouds; wow what a difference 24 hours can make; if you don't like the weather in Alberta, just take a nap; Gusta made up for a couple of days of curtailed exercise, turning her ears off and her engine on while I plodded through deep, though softer, snow accumulation around the lagoon

everyone gets to choose which view of which facet of V-day makes them smile; a few frown but fewer still frown the whole day

manifestation of things romantic, lovely and sweet peak on V-day or maybe they just pique our interest; traditions vary from person to person, country to country, from youth to antiquity; everyone sees it through their own set of eyes, their own set of feelings; we might rail against the commercialization of it all, but few would argue it is a bad day to have, however blue or disconnected they might be

it is a day for love, for thinking about love, for longing for love, for whining about love, for pining about love; happy or sad, we think about love that day; women get sappy, men get mushy, couples make love or go through motions - even when it is bad, it is 'not so bad' that people cannot enjoy some of it

some people celebrated birthdays, some got engaged, some got married, some called their divorce lawyer; some will be blue because they looked around to see everyone happier than they are; others feel sad because the phone did not ring or because they received no cards, candy, flowers or gifts

I did not spend V-day with my hunny; I did not make it a big 'one-day' extravaganza - neither did she; some speed bumps on the road recently - none causing a crash - but cause to slow down and check the map to see where we are going

consultation with one's navigator is important to keeping the car on the road, the right road and to confirm we are both headed to the same destination; sometimes it is good to change drivers and switch the navigation role; perspectives change though it is still the same trip - sometimes it can feel like an arduous journey, sometimes a great adventure with as many twists and turns as that road to Hana

some of that might be explained as 'early days', things done 'before' or 'after' V-day are far more important, things yet to come, the weekend ahead . . all apply

is the perfect set of skills, talents, features and appeal all wrapped up in one person we can call sweetheart?

considering responses from musers yesterday, comments from my friends at Toastmasters (our club is a singles-only group) last night, there are strong feelings expressed among those of us in the quest, in the hunt, on the search

but questing for what, hunting what prize, searching for whom?

discussion yesterday would suggest to me those of us in the search . . and those of us who think our searching might be over (if ONLY that other party would come ‘round to our way of thinking!) do, for the most part, believe that magic can be found and maintained AND that being single at this point in our lives does not mean the absence of romance, caring and love

maybe we are just drinking the kool-aid, but most of my single connections tell me they feel far more joy in their life today than they did on V day in their previous marriages, relationships etc.

I found it interesting, or maybe I was just being less observant; yesterday the evidence of V-day excitement in the coupled world seems to show itself everywhere – busy flower shops, candy stores and restaurants yet I did not talk to anyone yesterday who was oo-ahing about what they were doing or what their partner had done to mark the occasion; this is not to say there are not many couples out there who make it V-day every day or that those who make a big production of V-day are bereft of magic the rest of the time . . .

intellectually I want to ‘accept things the way they are’, emotionally I want it ‘the way I want it’, philosophically I want to be affected, expanded and enriched by what goes on, by and through my life with as little deep pain as possible, spiritually I am unsure of the ground because that is a part of me I shun exploring (yet some tell me I am deeply in it)

some things are impossible, but we explore them anyway

some things are improbable, but we explore them anyway

some things are possible but crazy, but we explore them anyway

the best thing I did for myself yesterday was to take a call and to listen; I’ve been doing too much talking lately, so listening to someone special telling me they want to join me exploring the path to see where it takes us . . that was good

magic is never assured, but there is a mutual desire to make some magic together for a while; a while might turn into a while longer, a while longer might turn into a great long while

somewhere, there is a cord tied to a heart; somewhere, there is a heart that beats; somewhere, there is a smile; somewhere there are hearbeats that listen to the roar of the surf, forever and always

two people don’t have to be matched in views, circumstances, direction or speed to make magic

there are always memories of fabulous V-days past, memories of fabulous ones we wished for whether they happened or not; if it eluded you yesterday, there is always today

Mark Kolke
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