Musing

I just got back and read the 2nd half of musings (apparently it exceeded the limit allowable on the BBerry). Wow...you've been busy. Wanna talk? Friends - not couch time (and $90 only buys 31 minutes these days). I certainly can't tell from what you've been sharing on line what's happening in your relationship - but then it's not for us to know. Hope you're OK - though it seems you are. Just very thoughtful, CB, Calgary

...

Mark, I'm not sure if you were at B&B guest at the Alexander Hamilton House in Croton on Hudson or someone just added my name to your list. I have enjoyed getting your musings at any case although I have never before replied. In September, I retired to Mashpee, Cape Cod with my second husband, Steven. We (he 52 and I 60) don't feel old enough to do nothing but definites were too stressed to keep working 24/7. So here we are in a beautiful house on a 200 acre pond in a rural neighborhood getting unimaginable pleasure from watching the birds come to the feeders, just outside our dining room. We lost our 110 pound golden retriever, Mushy, in December and spend the next months truly grieving for an integral part of our family. A month ago, we adopted, Clara, a 20 pound Boston Terrier who is working really hard at filling the big hole which Mushy left in our hearts. I'm not sure folks without dogs will ever understand how close we become to our dogs and how wrenching it is to lose them. I also have a 27 year old daughter. Mine grew up in our inn. She survived the end of my first marriage and has a really terrific relationship with her Dad as well as staying very close to me. 27 seems to be the age when Mothers and daughters seem able to finally resolve differences that have separated them before. Although I have long known that one never changes anyone else but oneself, it is very interesting to see changes in her awareness of who she is and who I am. All through growing up, Cyd strove to be as different from me as she could, but over the years has matured and allowed the best part of both me and her Dad to emerge. It has helped greatly that just as I prepared to sell my inn, she stepped up to ask if it was too late to take over the inn. Stepping into my shoes was not easy for her, but she did it and is getting better every day. I have always offered seminars and internships for aspiring innkeepers at the inn and will continue to do them a few times a year for the next few years. For me it's a way to give back to an industry that has made a very good life for me and my family. I spoke to a woman who is opening her inn in Cape May in NJ. She was desperate to take the internship this week. I could not be there. Cyd said 'NO PROBLEM!" She would do it. By the end of the first day, she was on the phone complaining that she would never get through the week. The woman was questioning her experience; would ask new questions before she finished answering the first; would turn to Rich, our newbie asst innkeeper when she didn't like the answers she got to questions she asked Cyd, and so on. This was going to be a long week. I told Cyd that she was up to the task and although she might never warm up to this woman, she would be able to teach her what she needed to know and learn something in the process. By mid week, I spoke to the intern. She told me that although Cyd was the same age as her youngest child and she was sure on arrival that this kid wouldn't be able to teach her anything, she had a big awakening. Cyd knows so much, has taught her so much and what an invaluable week this has been for her. Teaching always looks easy and seldom is. Cyd learned all about that this week. By the end of the internship week, the intern is very jazzed about her new career. Cyd is totally drained. I had a big smile on my face when yesterday's phone call made very clear how much Cyd had learned about me and my life as well as her own. She said "Mom, you always made the job look easy so people thought it was easy. I thought when interns came you made money for someone coming to help you do your job. I had no idea how hard this week would be, how difficult it would be to have someone shadow me doing my job and asking a million questions about everything I did. If she paid 3 times as much, it wouldn't have been enough. I understand now what you meant about giving back." I asked her if she would do it again. The reply "Maybe, but not soon. I'm totally exhausted." I hung up feeling very proud and close to my only child. BN, www.alexanderhamiltonhousecapecod.com , Mashpee, Ma