Musing

[written & published at Kamaole Sands, Kihei, Maui]

to be mostly clear today, 75-80F with light NE wind; I drove 54 miles to Hana (local term for ‘I white-knuckled 2 hours driving inside a rainforest canopy without getting out to pee’) yesterday; just when you think you are there some guy has a sign at his coffee shop saying ‘you are half way there’; aside from enjoying the quiet pastoral ambience of the place, my thrill on a sunny afternoon was driving BACK from Hana; capturing it on film or in words is impossible . . so, if you have not been, go . . . spend 5 hours to visit the community of Hana and you will see what I mean; I took quite a few pictures none of which are alike, none of which give one a true sense of what that place and experience along the east shore of the island is all about . . picture attached was taken just north of Ke’ane on the way back

this morning, again, darker than usual – all the better to see a spectacular sight in the dark - the growing fire up the mountain (about 6500 ft level) which has spread more southward than west having burned up about 250 acres so far (looks like more than that from down here) of dense pine forest; apparently there is more than pine at risk as naturalists are worried about the threat to four very rare plant species one of which is a member of the parsnip family

I never liked parsnips

there are many things I know, few with absolute certainty - but I know, that the things I think that I know fit very clearly into my little list; my list of my desires, of my talents; it is not a long list but it is a clear concise one – reflecting on it regularly keeps me grounded, keeps me clear, helps me separate those things which matter from those which are a passing fancy, those which are a notion without emotion

knowing what I want, desire, need, hope to have . . is not the same as having what I want, desire, need, hope to have . . but what an important first step that is

communication is not a slow thing; send an email . . it is there right away, make a call and voices volley as quickly as in person; these are no replacement for face-to-face communication where the distance between action/reaction is delayed slightly as we take time to listen to inflection, facial expression, mood and outside influences of noise, interruption and pace of someone’s day

verbal vs. non-verbal communication is quite the thing; so often people give off non-verbal clues while they are talking . . . sometimes even more when they are not talking at all; can we sense someone’s body language over the phone, can we gauge the furrow of a brow, the sadness of an eye, the drip of a tear?

can we sense anything from an email; was it shorter than usual, was it hastily sent, was it written IN CAPITAL LETTERS SO AS TO SHOUT . . or was it a nothing?

often I think we read into what is said, what is shown, what is written – a sense that we understand fully what someone else is communicating; we are wrong more than right but that doesn’t stop us, doesn’t stop me, from being blundering idiots sometime giving rise to times when I need to say ‘oops, can I retract what I said and stuff it back where it came from’ just as there are time to say . . ‘I meant every word and take back nothing’

Frankl taught me: ‘I get to choose how I react to what is happening to me’

but Frankl gave me no advice at all about how to deal with the reality that I have no control over how someone will react to me, react to what I say, react to what I do

sometimes, when we say something, write something or try to right something we get it wrong – for that we can apologize, show remorse and fix it somewhat, but what about those situations where we say exactly what we meant, when we meant it and with the appropriate care which fits for what we meant . . that’s good right?

so what about the reaction we get, is it what we expect; does it matter how others feel about us or is it really most important that we are clear on how we feel about ourselves?

my view is that being considerate of someone else’s views and feelings is important – but beyond that we have to be who we are without regard for how others might view us because if we modify ourselves to suit someone else’s expectations we lose sight of ourselves

do you know your dreams, your desires, your skills, your talents; do you have them written down and, if you do, how often do you look at them, review them, commit them to everything you do?

well, why not?

gotta go explore more paradise now . . I’ve been to Hana, what’s next?

Aloha

Mark Kolke
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