Musing

-2C/29F, overcast, light breeze; Gusta braved going out further on the lagoon ice today, I tried to walk on patches of grass surrounded by the slippery remains of several days of freeze/thaw; no dogs or owners about while flights of ‘we stayed in Calgary for the winter’ geese cruised overhead

why wait a single day, why not take the chance today might be your best day – ever?

there are days when 'what if' takes me by surprise; what if sits me down, it makes me reluctant to sally forth for two reasons; the first, or maybe it is a rationalization, is to avoid hurting someone else, the second is not so much the fear of new adventures or fear of an incredible experience but rather a protective instinct with regard to things I don't want to change

I’ve been examining those things about which I am so bloody protective; what are they, why do they hand-cuff me as they do?

it is not intellectual at all, it is the practical side of things; in days gone by (not all that long ago) I found myself adventuring both in business and personal relationships with a bit of reckless abandon – with bravado, with daring-do, with passion, with a disregard for how I might feel later on, without regard for how someone else might feel later on; sure, I talked a good story, but it was pretty much ‘me looking out for me having a great time’ stuff

exploring new opportunities, new people, new adventures, new ideas – these things thrill me and, when I take time to think about it, they sometimes terrify me a little – not for long – but for a little while; again, a rationalization creeps in – protection of my lifestyle, of my plans, of my goals, of those ‘set in my ways’ elements of my life, my work, my play

what if I meet someone who will change my life, or what if I already have but am too blind to see it?

what if I take on a task that takes my business in a new direction?

what if I get wrapped up in someone’s life, in some new adventure that changes my life, moves me emotionally to a new place, or moves me physically to a new place?

what if I stay safely where I am, safely out of harm’s way?

about 25 years ago I wrote a ‘5 year personal and business plan’; I found it about 19 years ago and laughed till it hurt; my life had gone in a very different direction, a zig-zag path in many ways, in part because my dreams and planning had been unrealistic, but mostly because I did not recognize the randomness of how life and experience present so many forks in the road, so many variables that take us in different directions than we might every expect, so different in scope, scale and direction than we might imagine

when the laughter died down I began thinking about a new strategy – one of looking for forks in the road, looking down the path as far as Frost would have wanted me to see what might be there, to taste all that can be tasted, to drink all that might be drunk, to touch and feel and hold every bit of it that is tangible

my life has been in 3 portions so far; birth-20 was a waste of 20 years for the most part from which I value most my exposure to tennis,an unrequited lust for interesting women, Bill Heinsen who exposed me to culture, Lynn Holmes who was most responsible for me learning the only thing from school worth retaining – typing

20-36 was time well wasted; 2 fabulous children, learning what I don’t like, exploring career directions, ups and downs, and finally achieving sobriety

36-50ish saw ups and downs financially, emotionally and some disastrous decisions, but among them all were some spectacular successes; those successes came in the form of projects of which I am proud, special times with my children and with my dad, accumulating extraordinary relationships with as eclectic a bunch of people as I could imagine; very few disasters along that path, a series of learning experiences that could not be imagined or replicated

the current phase is adventuring, expanding, growing and far more than a mid-life mini-epoch; it is a period of the greatest growth I’ve experienced, the greatest opportunity for adventure and venture I’ve ever known; I wake up each day not knowing what idea, person or opportunity might cross my path today – ignoring little, choosing better than ever before, tasting and savouring that which is to be tasted and savoured

if I was able to know where my path would lead, would I want to know?

if the next 1 or 5 or 35 years was predictable, would I want to read the preview?

the phrase ‘this is the first day of the rest of your life’ was popular, cute and trendy a few years ago, but of little value more than a line on a greeting card

today is not the first day, but I cannot be ambivalent about it – for it might be the last day, it might be the best day, it might be the most exciting day

today might just be the best day of your life – it would be a pity to not be paying attention and miss it

what if, you were to take a chance on today being your best day ever – and it turned out to be just that

all we have is days, they come one at a time – we live them one at a time

don’t live today as if it is your last, but imagine how it will feel to live it as if it is your best

it might just be your best day ever

Mark
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