Musing

The scariness becomes a reliance on chemical pills to adjust ourselves to life, not that I don't need my own share, but think 10,000 years back when humans crossed the Bering Strait from Asia, I'm sure they weren't worried about depression and SAHD, and any other mental problems, they were just geared to survive. We've lost most of that instinct in the time since then, myself included, KG, ?

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Mark, thoughtful words this morning. I wonder if the "pill" wouldn't be worse than the situation it was trying to cure? Surely it is only with the "lows" that we know when we have a "high" and that life improved? Slip sliding away on the snowy coast..., JD, Vancouver

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Hi – This cold and snow got me to thinking about how our parents grew up. Log cabins with sod roofs for some members of my family in Saskatchewan, Peace River and Rocky Mountain House. No electricity, no gas for heat etc. Maybe the homeless are tougher than we can even imagine being. I know I would be very whiny living on the street. I guess that’s what makes our parents who they are today. My Mom is a whole lot tougher than I am, DB, Red Deer

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Addressing only the "haves" in the Westernized world, i.e. anyone with a place to call home and food on the table: there is an unfortunately too prevalent belief that happiness is somehow tied up in getting the things and life we want; the new car, the dream vacation, the perfect person to squeeze, the Leave it to Beaver family, the better job. The truth is that even if a person succeeds in satisfying their wants, the happiness they feel as a result is fleeting - gone when the novelty of what they have secured wears off and is replaced with wanting something else; something else to feel unhappy about not having. The life lesson many fail to learn is that it is not easy to find happiness in ourselves but it is impossible to find it anywhere else. Regarding Christmas, I am annually appalled by the grotesque commercialization that starts in October with gawdy mall decorations and buy, buy, buy messages shouted from every billboard, radio and television. The average Canadian (that's individual not family) will spend over $1000 on Christmas which wouldn't be a bad thing except a huge percentage of this is incurred as debt that will not be paid off until June. The credit card companies are laughing all the way to the bank as they rake in 18+% on people's excessive spending. No wonder people are stressed by the season with no one to blame but themselves. Can they honestly believe that they will be less happy if they have less luxury food items, less alcohol, less expensive presents, less new clothes but actually got through the thing without facing 6 months of debt? Too bad teaching our children that less is more is less important then teaching them that more is better even if it means going into debt to get it. The reality is young children are happy with small things and older children are old enough to learn that happiness is not found in a Nintendo box. If they do not learn this lesson they will end up like so many people who spend a lifetime looking for happiness in the next new possession or in the next new person. At this season in particular the media inundates us with images of joyful family gatherings and too many people buy into the belief that the only way to be happy is to have this themselves. Unfortunately distance (by choice or necessity), divorce and familial discord mean that for many people there will be no Norman Rockwell-like celebration. Instead of making the best of reality many will choose to make themselves unhappy by wallowing around in self-pity over what they do not have. Conversely, if a person is an unhappy person, being able to sit down for a lovely Christmas dinner with a loving family isn't going to make them happy. I have reasons to be unhappy this Christmas. My 20 year marriage ended 18 months ago, my only child will be with my ex from Dec 22 - Jan 2 so for the first time in 17 years I will not be with him at Christmas and my extended family is a complete disaster of broken marriages and relationships rife with tension. There will no joyful family Christmas dinner for me. Naturally I would prefer my circumstances to be different but wanting something doesn't make it so, nor does being unhappy about it. Lying on the couch crying does nothing except make me fat and dehydrated. Whether I end up alone that day or spend it with friends, I will be happy because my happiness is not dependant on the things and people out there but is part of who I choose to be, BB, Calgary