Sunday, August 27, 2006
Sunday Aug. 27, 2006 - Year 4, Day 159 - no expectations
12C/54F, sunny, steady breeze; a brisk walk around the lagoon to get our motors running, Gusta a little lethargic; I walked/ruminated feeling a little out of familiar territory
I think that is good; not FAR outside my comfort zone, but in new thought-territory
expectations fill every corner of life; having ‘no expectations’ is something I doubt I could do even while unconscious
I have an expectation the world will keep turning & the sun will come up to greet me each day – a realistic somewhat universal expectation - I expect water will flow from the tap, I expect lights will come on when I flip the switch; these things are not certain, but they are expected
get the picture?
not to confuse ‘taking things for granted’ with expectations, but just what is it I/we expect?; to say ‘I never expected that from you’ or words to that effect arise among friends who learn something new, something surprising about someone they thought they knew quite well
I believe we all can easily talk at length with someone who is very much like us, someone with similar views, experiences, expectations & dreams but, when we encounter someone on a very different path who marches to a very different drummer – that opens up a few brain cells that would otherwise sit idle; I like that & dislike it too
I like it because it is stimulating, expands horizons of thought & is part of the intrigue of getting to know someone new/different/unique to my experience; I dislike that it challenges my brain when it would be so much more convenient otherwise
questions like ‘why did I have my expectations, where did they come from, why were some basic assumptions I made so far off the mark?
I question whether it is reasonable to have expectations or, rather, if ‘wishes’ a more appropriate word?
the trite phrase ‘no expectations’ fits when we explore new opportunities, new people or sometimes a new day - what a croc that is - I have expectations every hour every day
but what of someone we do not know, want to get to know – having expectations – finding someone quite different indeed from the expected, from the norms I know, from my pre-conceived expectations
she is a delightful Jane Curtin look-alike with dimpled cheeks & disarming Irish accent; we enjoyed a delicious dinner last night; lots of interesting conversation but it quickly became clear I am not the sort who interests her; an interesting friendship opportunity perhaps if explored further but I sense she’s not so interested in that or in me
sometimes expectations are fulfilled, sometimes not, sometimes it is too soon to know; what then, of the person we do not know at all; do we have expectations?
I think the differences are not just ones of style or personality - they much more fundamental; of lifestyle, upbringing, experiences & future plans; is it really as simple as whether a childless non-golfing borderline vegetarian cat keeper restless to return to Europe might be compatible in some way with me?
truth told, I had expectations – perhaps wishes – about someone I did not know; I learned much & enjoyed her company as I learned my expectations/wishes were off in a totally different direction; someone no less good, complete, articulate & friendly than I expected; someone very much different from what I had imagined; I found that truly interesting, stimulating & confusing all at the same time
I’m having lunch with my dad today
I have expectations, so does he
I expect I will talk, I expect he will listen
I expect when I ask him how his week went, how his day went, how is appointments went that the stories will be so much like the usual answers to those questions (I suspect the same answers will flow if I ask different questions)
we have a bit of a script you see – familiar unspoken cues – expectations of what the other is saying, where they are going with it; it works both ways – much of it non-verbal
I expect he will want to pay
I expect he will want to know about my week, my work, my trip & especially my date last night
I expect I will tell him all he wants to know
I expect he will forget some of it & ask me again tomorrow
must go soon, I am expected
Mark
I think that is good; not FAR outside my comfort zone, but in new thought-territory
expectations fill every corner of life; having ‘no expectations’ is something I doubt I could do even while unconscious
I have an expectation the world will keep turning & the sun will come up to greet me each day – a realistic somewhat universal expectation - I expect water will flow from the tap, I expect lights will come on when I flip the switch; these things are not certain, but they are expected
get the picture?
not to confuse ‘taking things for granted’ with expectations, but just what is it I/we expect?; to say ‘I never expected that from you’ or words to that effect arise among friends who learn something new, something surprising about someone they thought they knew quite well
I believe we all can easily talk at length with someone who is very much like us, someone with similar views, experiences, expectations & dreams but, when we encounter someone on a very different path who marches to a very different drummer – that opens up a few brain cells that would otherwise sit idle; I like that & dislike it too
I like it because it is stimulating, expands horizons of thought & is part of the intrigue of getting to know someone new/different/unique to my experience; I dislike that it challenges my brain when it would be so much more convenient otherwise
questions like ‘why did I have my expectations, where did they come from, why were some basic assumptions I made so far off the mark?
I question whether it is reasonable to have expectations or, rather, if ‘wishes’ a more appropriate word?
the trite phrase ‘no expectations’ fits when we explore new opportunities, new people or sometimes a new day - what a croc that is - I have expectations every hour every day
but what of someone we do not know, want to get to know – having expectations – finding someone quite different indeed from the expected, from the norms I know, from my pre-conceived expectations
she is a delightful Jane Curtin look-alike with dimpled cheeks & disarming Irish accent; we enjoyed a delicious dinner last night; lots of interesting conversation but it quickly became clear I am not the sort who interests her; an interesting friendship opportunity perhaps if explored further but I sense she’s not so interested in that or in me
sometimes expectations are fulfilled, sometimes not, sometimes it is too soon to know; what then, of the person we do not know at all; do we have expectations?
I think the differences are not just ones of style or personality - they much more fundamental; of lifestyle, upbringing, experiences & future plans; is it really as simple as whether a childless non-golfing borderline vegetarian cat keeper restless to return to Europe might be compatible in some way with me?
truth told, I had expectations – perhaps wishes – about someone I did not know; I learned much & enjoyed her company as I learned my expectations/wishes were off in a totally different direction; someone no less good, complete, articulate & friendly than I expected; someone very much different from what I had imagined; I found that truly interesting, stimulating & confusing all at the same time
I’m having lunch with my dad today
I have expectations, so does he
I expect I will talk, I expect he will listen
I expect when I ask him how his week went, how his day went, how is appointments went that the stories will be so much like the usual answers to those questions (I suspect the same answers will flow if I ask different questions)
we have a bit of a script you see – familiar unspoken cues – expectations of what the other is saying, where they are going with it; it works both ways – much of it non-verbal
I expect he will want to pay
I expect he will want to know about my week, my work, my trip & especially my date last night
I expect I will tell him all he wants to know
I expect he will forget some of it & ask me again tomorrow
must go soon, I am expected
Mark
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