Friday, August 25, 2006
Friday Aug. 25, 2006 - Year 4, Day 157 - scrumptious ear
13/55F in south Calgary this morning; we walked under a canopy of stars VERY early this morning in North Edmonton before hitting the road for Calgary, a whiz around Red Deer to check out a property – then back on the road, finishing that walk a few minutes ago; Gusta seems very content to be back in familiar territory, I’m happy to be here too but I really enjoyed a work & play & family week
I had a great day yesterday; driving & meetings, a visit to Eva’s massage table & a get together with CD (it is hard to believe it has been 10 yrs!) .. nice to see you again
MM . . as always your hospitality & guest room is very much appreciated . . Gusta says thanks too for the great yard to roam
does anything unhealthy, left unchanged, get better on its own?
I just don’t get it
I fail to grasp the logic (if there is) when someone is not stuck, not chained (I mean figuratively) to a situation who is not moving, not taking decisions to generate happiness they crave, choosing instead in a resigned fashion, to remain in a long term unhappy place
in this employment market, I cannot imagine anyone feeling they have no choice but to stay in an abusive employment situation; so too in personal relationships given the knowledge, services & help of governments, agencies & just plain folks – I cannot understand why anyone stays in a situation which offers nothing but continued ‘absence of happy’
whether it is a job or a domestic relationship, given the worth we all have, I cannot imagine coping in an unhealthy, unhappy & unfulfilling personal relationship when there are so many options available, so much help available, but mostly, I cannot imagine why anyone denies themselves likely happiness, likely improvement in favour of a path of certain unhappiness
if there is NO choice, that is one kettle of fish, but when choice is easy & abundant, why stay?
a confusing conversation yesterday, a déjà vu reminder of similar stories of someone in a long term situation, someone with obvious latitude to move on, move out, move forward – but instead they are resigned to leave things unchanged
whether that relationship is domestic bliss gone wrong or job gone weary I cannot understand it; the characters are always different in these stories, the nuances vary but the point is so often similar; a smart worthy capable person is kept down, kept in place & kept there – be that a marriage or long-term employment; I am not a pro in the field but it seems to fit so clearly the symptoms of abuse that I’ve read about that it makes me wonder why
why is it that people fail to see their own worth, their own happiness, their own physical & mental health as so precious that there is NO other choice but to extricate themselves, while instead they project many reasons, excuses & illogic as to why they must stay, cannot leave etc.
I just don’t get it; but maybe, there is something we can all do about it
musers, here is your challenge du jour:
if you know someone in a regular state of ‘absence of happy’, call them up or write them to tell them that you are there, that you care, that you can listen, that you can fetch & carry, that you can offer something as simple as a comforting word or a place of shelter, or a job or a helping hand – whatever it is YOU have to give to THEM that might help
if it is only a word expressing you know & care that is so much more, SO MUCH MORE, than doing nothing which is easy to do but has no value
without doubt that person must do the emotional heavy lifting on their own, but imagine how much easier it is for them when they know someone cares & is willing to offer assistance in some form
have a great weekend & nibble on a scrumptious ear – human or Taber corn – take your pick
Mark
I had a great day yesterday; driving & meetings, a visit to Eva’s massage table & a get together with CD (it is hard to believe it has been 10 yrs!) .. nice to see you again
MM . . as always your hospitality & guest room is very much appreciated . . Gusta says thanks too for the great yard to roam
does anything unhealthy, left unchanged, get better on its own?
I just don’t get it
I fail to grasp the logic (if there is) when someone is not stuck, not chained (I mean figuratively) to a situation who is not moving, not taking decisions to generate happiness they crave, choosing instead in a resigned fashion, to remain in a long term unhappy place
in this employment market, I cannot imagine anyone feeling they have no choice but to stay in an abusive employment situation; so too in personal relationships given the knowledge, services & help of governments, agencies & just plain folks – I cannot understand why anyone stays in a situation which offers nothing but continued ‘absence of happy’
whether it is a job or a domestic relationship, given the worth we all have, I cannot imagine coping in an unhealthy, unhappy & unfulfilling personal relationship when there are so many options available, so much help available, but mostly, I cannot imagine why anyone denies themselves likely happiness, likely improvement in favour of a path of certain unhappiness
if there is NO choice, that is one kettle of fish, but when choice is easy & abundant, why stay?
a confusing conversation yesterday, a déjà vu reminder of similar stories of someone in a long term situation, someone with obvious latitude to move on, move out, move forward – but instead they are resigned to leave things unchanged
whether that relationship is domestic bliss gone wrong or job gone weary I cannot understand it; the characters are always different in these stories, the nuances vary but the point is so often similar; a smart worthy capable person is kept down, kept in place & kept there – be that a marriage or long-term employment; I am not a pro in the field but it seems to fit so clearly the symptoms of abuse that I’ve read about that it makes me wonder why
why is it that people fail to see their own worth, their own happiness, their own physical & mental health as so precious that there is NO other choice but to extricate themselves, while instead they project many reasons, excuses & illogic as to why they must stay, cannot leave etc.
I just don’t get it; but maybe, there is something we can all do about it
musers, here is your challenge du jour:
if you know someone in a regular state of ‘absence of happy’, call them up or write them to tell them that you are there, that you care, that you can listen, that you can fetch & carry, that you can offer something as simple as a comforting word or a place of shelter, or a job or a helping hand – whatever it is YOU have to give to THEM that might help
if it is only a word expressing you know & care that is so much more, SO MUCH MORE, than doing nothing which is easy to do but has no value
without doubt that person must do the emotional heavy lifting on their own, but imagine how much easier it is for them when they know someone cares & is willing to offer assistance in some form
have a great weekend & nibble on a scrumptious ear – human or Taber corn – take your pick
Mark
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