Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Tuesday July 25, 2006 - Year 4, Day 126 - every action has meaning
13C/55F, light breeze, hazy cloud on horizon – otherwise clear; Gusta likes the early morning cool
the Calgary Herald ran a sub-heading indicating today Calgary is the 3rd Canadian city to reach 1 million; I wonder which one of Toronto, Montreal & Vancouver they forgot
trying to dig a little deeper in my understanding, a little deeper in my belly, tickling my funny bone once in a while, not because of anything anyone thinks or feels or reacts to – but for me; I do it for me & it does so much for me
a musing reader who finds value, that is my bonus – they get value, I get warm all over knowing that; a humbling & prideful mixture of knowing that in some tiny way, every action has meaning – this ‘more stream, less consciousness’ & ‘it ain’t about you sweetheart’ rumbling & rambling is something I have become driven to do
why do I do it?, he asked; why do I? - why do I take time every morning to create something, hopefully of meaning & value, to send to some friends & a lot of strangers?
why do I? - a valid question but I know I did not give SZ a sufficient answer to his question because I had to go to another meeting – our coffee pleasant but too short yesterday – so here it is Steve:
part habit, part routine – this has become part of my daily life; unlike a diary it does not disclose deeply private things of mine or anything private of anyone else’s (thanks to painful lessons learned early on); part compulsion, part self-aggrandizing
I would love to write something brilliant & timeless one day; if I do I may not realize it when I do but somewhere down the long road of the future, someone might read something I have written to draw some meaning from it - or they might read something today that affects them
that’s it - to affect them; to have an affect, an impact, upon someone – to help someone, to inspire someone, to be of value to someone; to help someone see something more clearly, to help someone understand more fully, more deeply
it need only be one someone - just one person each day, then it is worth it
I am that one, each day – I am someone searching, reaching, digging; it matters little to me whether 4400 people get it or if any of 4400 get it; it is gratifying when people do, I am awe struck & humbled when it does, but that is side-benefit to my selfishness
it might seem strange – after saying all that - to quote this notorious person [she & I share a birth date Aug. 7] on the anniversary of the day in 1917 when she was sentenced to die by firing squad; someone who lived large long before that term came into fashion, someone who left the world wondering about who she was & why she was – surely she
was, if nothing else, spectacular in her life & in her death as she was with these words:
‘The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.’ – Mata Hari
each movement is a word
every action has meaning
I’ll have some of that
Steve, take or leave whatever you want from musings; if it is of value to you, use it - if not then keep looking for what eludes you; if you are like me what eludes you most will be the place you tend not to look - inside; the answers you seek may be found in Mata Hari's words, in mine or somewhere out there in the world but they will be meaningless to you unless they rise out of your own belly one morning
the Calgary Herald ran a sub-heading indicating today Calgary is the 3rd Canadian city to reach 1 million; I wonder which one of Toronto, Montreal & Vancouver they forgot
trying to dig a little deeper in my understanding, a little deeper in my belly, tickling my funny bone once in a while, not because of anything anyone thinks or feels or reacts to – but for me; I do it for me & it does so much for me
a musing reader who finds value, that is my bonus – they get value, I get warm all over knowing that; a humbling & prideful mixture of knowing that in some tiny way, every action has meaning – this ‘more stream, less consciousness’ & ‘it ain’t about you sweetheart’ rumbling & rambling is something I have become driven to do
why do I do it?, he asked; why do I? - why do I take time every morning to create something, hopefully of meaning & value, to send to some friends & a lot of strangers?
why do I? - a valid question but I know I did not give SZ a sufficient answer to his question because I had to go to another meeting – our coffee pleasant but too short yesterday – so here it is Steve:
part habit, part routine – this has become part of my daily life; unlike a diary it does not disclose deeply private things of mine or anything private of anyone else’s (thanks to painful lessons learned early on); part compulsion, part self-aggrandizing
I would love to write something brilliant & timeless one day; if I do I may not realize it when I do but somewhere down the long road of the future, someone might read something I have written to draw some meaning from it - or they might read something today that affects them
that’s it - to affect them; to have an affect, an impact, upon someone – to help someone, to inspire someone, to be of value to someone; to help someone see something more clearly, to help someone understand more fully, more deeply
it need only be one someone - just one person each day, then it is worth it
I am that one, each day – I am someone searching, reaching, digging; it matters little to me whether 4400 people get it or if any of 4400 get it; it is gratifying when people do, I am awe struck & humbled when it does, but that is side-benefit to my selfishness
it might seem strange – after saying all that - to quote this notorious person [she & I share a birth date Aug. 7] on the anniversary of the day in 1917 when she was sentenced to die by firing squad; someone who lived large long before that term came into fashion, someone who left the world wondering about who she was & why she was – surely she
was, if nothing else, spectacular in her life & in her death as she was with these words:
‘The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.’ – Mata Hari
each movement is a word
every action has meaning
I’ll have some of that
Steve, take or leave whatever you want from musings; if it is of value to you, use it - if not then keep looking for what eludes you; if you are like me what eludes you most will be the place you tend not to look - inside; the answers you seek may be found in Mata Hari's words, in mine or somewhere out there in the world but they will be meaningless to you unless they rise out of your own belly one morning
Mark
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