Thursday, June 15, 2006
Thursday June 15, 2006 - Year 4, Day 87 - dampened focus
14C/55F, park becomes rainforest - raining heavily - gutters become creeks, streets lakes, paths spillways; I look in every back yard expecting some guy named Noah building something; Gusta soggy & loving every minute
in recent months I have been working on seeing sides of issues & opportunities differently – lessons learned in one quadrant of my brain might help the other
the challenge to have the wisdom to know the difference between that which I wish for, yearn for from the ‘real deal’ when it shows up
my open-ness to risking used to require an obligatory reality check, analysis paralysis sometimes
more often now I act on instincts because I have internalized my needs, wants & desires better than ever before
the great new deal, business opportunity, special event, romantic connection
each, to be successful, requires unrestrained pursuit with shooting star velocity
each deserves a rain drop or two, or two trillion now & then
sidetracked by my occasionally one-track mind, riveted on project-person-events du jour; whether golf course, new course, main course, of course – each cool idea, each spectacular connection – my focus gets distracted sometimes
or, riveted irrationally on issue, circumstance, person or connection
focus - without distraction, without interruption unwavering
often, my project-mode focus so entrenched on one side of my brain, leaks to the free spirit side distracting my light hearted enjoyment
the free spirit side wants to wish, to dream, to play, to revel in exuberance – irrational sometimes, sometimes not – but exuberance
‘both feet, deep end of the pool’
dangerous especially for we non-swimmers
hard dampening effects of reality & experience say most things about which I am exuberant do not live up to expectations
the more I am open to embracing the exuberance without the ‘deep analysis paralysis’ mode that follows I am feeling like a free spirit – yikes – smile – jump for joy, jump into the deep end without a life-preserver
hopes, desires & dreams are a lot like drooling over goodies at the bakery counter or devouring a Bernard Callebaut ice cream bar; vanilla, dipped in chocolate
too much trepidation is as much a challenge as none at all; I hold back a bit sometimes
holding back, I tell myself, protects from yet another ‘oops, that seemed like a good idea at the time’ misadventure
in creeps fear, uncertainty & doubt - fear of the unknown - illogical fear, irrational fear, emotional fear, being not in control fear
surrendering to the fear, embracing the fear – that’s the ticket; if fear was a colour chart there would be many dark shades, bright unpleasant hues, black, white – uneasy on the eyes, uneasy on the tummy
trust evaporates fear I think, or maybe it is the rain that washes it away
trusting others is easier than ever; trusting myself without that irrational fear is not as easy, but it is coming along
spontaneous often, outrageous sometimes, expressive always
its damp
focus
Mark
in recent months I have been working on seeing sides of issues & opportunities differently – lessons learned in one quadrant of my brain might help the other
the challenge to have the wisdom to know the difference between that which I wish for, yearn for from the ‘real deal’ when it shows up
my open-ness to risking used to require an obligatory reality check, analysis paralysis sometimes
more often now I act on instincts because I have internalized my needs, wants & desires better than ever before
the great new deal, business opportunity, special event, romantic connection
each, to be successful, requires unrestrained pursuit with shooting star velocity
each deserves a rain drop or two, or two trillion now & then
sidetracked by my occasionally one-track mind, riveted on project-person-events du jour; whether golf course, new course, main course, of course – each cool idea, each spectacular connection – my focus gets distracted sometimes
or, riveted irrationally on issue, circumstance, person or connection
focus - without distraction, without interruption unwavering
often, my project-mode focus so entrenched on one side of my brain, leaks to the free spirit side distracting my light hearted enjoyment
the free spirit side wants to wish, to dream, to play, to revel in exuberance – irrational sometimes, sometimes not – but exuberance
‘both feet, deep end of the pool’
dangerous especially for we non-swimmers
hard dampening effects of reality & experience say most things about which I am exuberant do not live up to expectations
the more I am open to embracing the exuberance without the ‘deep analysis paralysis’ mode that follows I am feeling like a free spirit – yikes – smile – jump for joy, jump into the deep end without a life-preserver
hopes, desires & dreams are a lot like drooling over goodies at the bakery counter or devouring a Bernard Callebaut ice cream bar; vanilla, dipped in chocolate
too much trepidation is as much a challenge as none at all; I hold back a bit sometimes
holding back, I tell myself, protects from yet another ‘oops, that seemed like a good idea at the time’ misadventure
in creeps fear, uncertainty & doubt - fear of the unknown - illogical fear, irrational fear, emotional fear, being not in control fear
surrendering to the fear, embracing the fear – that’s the ticket; if fear was a colour chart there would be many dark shades, bright unpleasant hues, black, white – uneasy on the eyes, uneasy on the tummy
trust evaporates fear I think, or maybe it is the rain that washes it away
trusting others is easier than ever; trusting myself without that irrational fear is not as easy, but it is coming along
spontaneous often, outrageous sometimes, expressive always
its damp
focus
Mark
341,868
