Musing

11C/52F, light breeze, sunny; Gusta walked as I returned calls – I was oblivious to landscaping crews that got her sniffing, engrossed in my calls, engrossed in some buzz in my head

often I hear of friends or colleagues or a stranger on page 3 of the newspaper who had their life turned 180 degrees in a heartbeat because of something they could not control - rarely do they surrender to the adverse situation, fighting instead against that adversity, problem or issue

for the fortunate who have spectacular change thrust upon them, it is easy to say ‘surrender’, but is that really surrender?

sometimes a voice from within or on the other end of the phone can bring inspiration

an idea mixed with a metaphor, add spice & verve, drizzle with something sweet & wet, iced with creamy dreamy notions

someone told me to see things through ‘my mind’s eye’; an easy phrase rolling off the tongue but a new one for me

where would my mind’s eye take me ?

Alice had wonderland, Dorothy had Oz, where is my dreamyland?

I believe it is right here, one day at a time

buzzing - dreaming - eyes open I imagine a future unfolding

no clear idea how today will unfold let alone the next few weeks or longer

far riskier than fearing collision with a bus or disasters unknown, would be to not dream, to not plan, to not plot courses, to not focus energy on bringing about change

change I want to see, in my mind's eye

where, when & how I change my life, self discovery mixed liberally with discovering others – a face across a crowded room or a voice from a distance, a picture, a word, a phrase – to capture that mind’s eye perhaps; uncertain if I can unlock my grip to surrender to it

history has conspired to have me right here, right now, in this moment – whether fate, ‘for a reason’ or just observing a world of opportunities from this tiny vantage point – I move forward an inch or two every day, some days falling back, some days lunging forward

dreaming a future is just that, dreaming; creating the future I want – risking incredible failure, risking incredible joy – one of the few things in life I can control, that’s the ticket

it would be nice to go cruising along an easy route, stopping at delicious ports of call

one day, one day at a time, every day one day at a time

this day is glorious

I give in to it, I surrender to it

I surrender, one day at a time

to say 'I will let it happen' is the antithesis of me

those who know me well know complete surrender is a place I get to rarely, uncomfortably, awkwardly

today is one of those awkward days

Mark

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