Musing

Hi Mark - What it means for me - When in a relationship where love is deep and strong, it's a time for extra sweetness, refreshment, deepening of love. When not in a relationship, it's a time to think of those in love and those I love and love me - all those people that matter most and brighten my days in small ways, even though we're not 'in love'. Today though, I reflect on relationship that is committed, but the love seems to be neither deep nor strong - I reflect on what was and what could be, all the while wishing that this day could be by-passed so to skip the disappointment of empty words and empty actions. So I revert back to thinking of those that love me, and that I love, although we're not 'in love'. Wishing you and your musers lasting love, L.S., ?

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Dear Valentines - Should you seriously desire to learn to love, forgive someone who has seriously hurt you. CCH, Chimacum Washington

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Love your Bertrand Russell references. Not long ago I was myself 'three parts dead' but I managed to pull myself away from the brink with an amazing (if I do say so myself) bit of daring do. Success is only a possibility if failure is too, and I do not yet know which is in store for me. But even that makes me feel alive-er than I have for ages. , FD, ?

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Hi Mark, I will give you my feedback for the day. Sitting here feeling quite lonely after waking up to THREE calls from gentlemen wishing me a Happy Valentine's day, but none of which are the man that I love. Why does he not call, you ask? Perhaps we should ask Bertrand! Fear.....what is that? Why are men scared off?? Do I love them too much? Perhaps it is as the Eagles song 'Wasted Time' says........"you didn't love the boy too much, no no....you just loved the boy too well".........I really don't know what I do to scare them off so badly. At any rate, today is the day I have always set aside for lovers! not love. Oh yes, I get my grandkids a little something, but I really reserve this day for fond thoughts and exchanges between lovers. It has been a really long time since I got anything other than a call for Valentine's day. (Except from my mom! Thanks Mom!) I could care less about getting flowers or gifts, although they are nice. For me....just knowing that a man loves me as I love him and a wish for that love to remain longer would suffice. I guess for me, I will hang it up along with dating and the hope of finding the man of my dreams. After all, when I found him, he was SCARED!! lol. I am sure I am sounding pretty negative, but it is hard to think that someone can make you feel like you are the only one for them and then next day they won't even talk to you. It has been months now......I wish my heart could be rid of him! I guess I am a hopeless romantic, but I want that 'whispering to my heart and kissing my soul' kind of love. (phone) oh........another call.........wow, that must be a record for me........lol. But still not the one I want (although that one is very cute! lol).....I know I will never get that one! Perhaps it is for the best. I am sure he was not all that anyway! Maybe next Valentine's Day will be the best one of my life. I hope for you and all your readers a wonderful Valentine's day., AS, Oklahoma City

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What is this day for me? To remind me that all my relationships are very important and that being loved and loving others is the best part of life. Like you Mark, I am surrounded by people that love me, and for that I am blessed. Tonight we are having dinner (hubby and I) with our son and his beautiful and charming girlfriend. I am really glad that we celebrate a "love day". I think we need more of them - reminders to hug, kiss and tell all the important people in our life we love and appreciate them. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! :), RB, Calgary

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"...what does this day mean to you & why is it so important ?" Good question. I am fortunate -- I have a husband and he's getting more romantic with age. He came home last night with a huge bouquet of roses but he does that half a dozen times a year now. If I were to venture an analysis, I think why it's important is more about what is missing the rest of the year. Women, even the strong ones, still love gifts and attention from their honey because it makes them feel loved, appreciated and special and that's why some have big expectations of this one day. Men are stimulated by what they see but women are stimulated by how they feel. What's sad is that it really doesn't take much to make her feel special all year round -- small gestures like leaving love notes on her bathroom mirror; a single rose or a small box of Belgium chocolates on her pillow; flowers on October 5th (no special date but just because); an invitation out to dinner on Tuesday night, just the two of you; coming home with a bottle of good champagne, a couple of scented candles and a good CD for a romantic evening; whatever, use your imagination. However, the general consensus from women I've talked with is "don't buy me lingerie" -- men buy what "they" like not what "she" likes and therein lies the problem. On the other hand, a great gift for him, I have found, IS lingerie (wearing it that is) -- it is a definite winner in my house!!!!, CC, Calgary

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this is probably one of the greatest lessons i have learned re Love, Life and the pursuit of Happiness. To give, serve, share, care and yes Love, for the joy of knowing others need that, whether appreciation etc is ever returned. It's our unrequited expectations that we allow to spoil our days, nites and all points in between. 1st time responding, but i do read every one...thx, brianS (but i usually put a little 'E' btw the b & the s, just for show), bs Calgary, hmmmm...i think not, bes Calgary, (do our parents not see these 'bs' things coming??) muse on...

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Happy Valentine's Day to you Mark! - To the person that has continued to bring us words of encouragement, warm thoughts and sweet messages every glorious morning. Hugs and Kisses to you! VBL Englewood, CO

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I'm have observed that the older people get, the harder it seems to be for them to tell their special someone how they feel about them. The "L" word seems to make a choking 'ahem' noise instead of giving the gushy warm feeling it used to. Fellas I know, have had some bad experiences so now they protect their pride and are hesitant. Too bad. This deprives them of that wonderful experience of making someone feel special and then getting reciprocated affection. You'd think as we get older, we'd be more willing to love, life being as short as it is. , SM, Calgary

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unfortunately, when you are in a blah relationship, this is a day of guilt, but when you are in a great relationship, everyday becomes rewarding, especially as you age and are more comfortable with not only who you are, but what you will accept from yourself and others. Communication becomes more open, less assuaged with the guilt of feeling selfish and more attuned with the beloved of your life. Everyday is Valentine's if that is your perception and you remember to be grateful for the abundance in your life on a daily basis., SB, ?

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For my wife and I, this is our 31st Valentine's together and we make every effort to avoid the Hallmark moment (too commercialized) and just thank the Lord for placing us together. It is these reminders that highlight how truly blessed I am. That is why a day like V-day is important. She has been and continues to be a partner, lover and most importantly a friend who has provided me with countless moments of joy (including our two daughters), numerous "firsts" (hint, hint) and shared memories that feed my soul. Surprisingly, this day is important because I hear a call. The call is coming from three other women each suffering from heavy hearts. One seeks family, the other a partner and the third reconciliation with her departed father. Not sure how I will help to lift their burden but I know that I can be a channel of peace, where there is sadness...joy, where their is darkness ...light. May I be strong enough to live the words., SZ, Calgary

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My husband has always said that if he needs a special day to show me that he loves me then something is wrong. This is just another day of feeling his love, his kindness and his passion., WH, Calgary

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Happy Valentines Day, Mark. For me it is a day of no consequence. If I had a significant other - perhaps I would feel differently - anticipating a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. Loved the quote by Judy Garland. Hugs AW, Calgary

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Ah yes the roses. How prophetic. As time has passed I have come to believe it is about tending the roses .... That said it might not have been different as perhaps that was not the reason for the undoing. Thank you for the chat today and the message when I arrived home!, SC, Fort Smith