Sunday, November 20, 2005
Sunday Nov. 20, 2005 - Year 3, Day 245 – experience that repeats
beginning:
11C / 52F strong warm west winds push back twilight & clouds revealing a molten sphere as it backlit the clouds in crimson & purple as we returned from our walk
most weekdays, whether my musing is long or short, I am pressed for time – hurried; I just let that which is on the surface spill out, then publish it complete with typos & clumsy phrasing spell-checkers never flag absent polishing & massaging which produces - wide ranging response from ‘that hit home for me Mark’ to ‘it seems so much the same each day’ . . .
the ‘weather + walk’ report opening is now habit; it sets my writing routine in motion
if you don’t care about the weather in south Calgary or what Gusta sniffs along the trail, then skip that part if you are pressed for time
the ending is written first or the night before but inserted at the end - little reminders to myself to pay respect to a birthday or accomplishment or to say thanks for time spent with a muser; which fills space where a conclusive ending might otherwise be found
but no one is fooled
my ‘middle portion’ does not draw conclusions, does not bring readers to a definitive end – my intent is to leave my thoughts as ‘just there’ for the reader to take or leave or refute
the theory fails often, as I draw conclusions & spout opinions with authority I usually lack
seriously, I would rather a musing reader draw whatever conclusion they might from their reaction to my thoughts; I care less whether someone agrees, disagrees, identifies or denies my points as being anything like their own views . . . that is not what I care about
I care about stimulating thought – not debate necessarily, but thought & dialogue – as much for my benefit as for anyone else’s
preachers writing weekly sermon rely upon structure in the order of service; they paste their thoughts into a proven program that consumes time & space such that non-critical observers might not notice a weak & empty sermon
sometimes I fight with myself feeling that what I’ve written is too short, too limp, too ineffectual to be of value – only to read the next day that someone thought it was superb & it saved them from making a dreadful decision or prevented them from missing a glorious opportunity – oh bother, what to do . . .
this brings me to the middle – that blank section in the middle of the page crying out each morning saying ‘fill me up’, ravage me, spill out your soul here & empty your emotions in this spot . . . it begs me to fill it with something worthy of 4600 people investing 3 minutes of their time
today’s ‘middle’:
spending Saturday night alone with Gusta & my leftovers, no takers in sight, I have been reflecting on defining what I want besides a frequent regular dinner companion to commiserate with about the day, laugh at ourselves & to be joyful with:
I’m looking for an incredible 1 night experience that repeats more than 180+ nights a year, I’m looking for a year that repeats 40 times which should leave me 94, worn out & ready to expire, but since I plan on living to 95 . . . I’ll have to rethink this position somewhere down the line; in re-reading this I recognize I am describing the quality of an experience rather than the characteristics of a person.
end:
Lauren [LR] & Mark celebrating their 1st anniversary today & no doubt they continue, makin’ whoopee experiences at every opportunity
title:
choosing a title each morning is often easy . . . sometimes very difficult; I usually pluck a phrase from something in ‘the middle’ that captures in 2-3 words a mood, theme or point, my hope being the reader will be looking for that reference & its meaning
muser responses:
I don’t have anything figured out any better than the next person – but when readers flatter me with praise & recognition I shamelessly bask in it; it moves me when someone reports that I inspired a thought or an action that has made a difference, made a change, made things better in their life
when I make you shake your head, make you laugh or cry or touch you somewhere deeply - if I do that just once . . . then all these daily writings are worth it, worth the time, worth the effort, worth the tummy twisting that creates them.
‘We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.” – Anne Lamottt
to my 4600 shipmates, have a wonderful Sunday
Mark
11C / 52F strong warm west winds push back twilight & clouds revealing a molten sphere as it backlit the clouds in crimson & purple as we returned from our walk
most weekdays, whether my musing is long or short, I am pressed for time – hurried; I just let that which is on the surface spill out, then publish it complete with typos & clumsy phrasing spell-checkers never flag absent polishing & massaging which produces - wide ranging response from ‘that hit home for me Mark’ to ‘it seems so much the same each day’ . . .
the ‘weather + walk’ report opening is now habit; it sets my writing routine in motion
if you don’t care about the weather in south Calgary or what Gusta sniffs along the trail, then skip that part if you are pressed for time
the ending is written first or the night before but inserted at the end - little reminders to myself to pay respect to a birthday or accomplishment or to say thanks for time spent with a muser; which fills space where a conclusive ending might otherwise be found
but no one is fooled
my ‘middle portion’ does not draw conclusions, does not bring readers to a definitive end – my intent is to leave my thoughts as ‘just there’ for the reader to take or leave or refute
the theory fails often, as I draw conclusions & spout opinions with authority I usually lack
seriously, I would rather a musing reader draw whatever conclusion they might from their reaction to my thoughts; I care less whether someone agrees, disagrees, identifies or denies my points as being anything like their own views . . . that is not what I care about
I care about stimulating thought – not debate necessarily, but thought & dialogue – as much for my benefit as for anyone else’s
preachers writing weekly sermon rely upon structure in the order of service; they paste their thoughts into a proven program that consumes time & space such that non-critical observers might not notice a weak & empty sermon
sometimes I fight with myself feeling that what I’ve written is too short, too limp, too ineffectual to be of value – only to read the next day that someone thought it was superb & it saved them from making a dreadful decision or prevented them from missing a glorious opportunity – oh bother, what to do . . .
this brings me to the middle – that blank section in the middle of the page crying out each morning saying ‘fill me up’, ravage me, spill out your soul here & empty your emotions in this spot . . . it begs me to fill it with something worthy of 4600 people investing 3 minutes of their time
today’s ‘middle’:
spending Saturday night alone with Gusta & my leftovers, no takers in sight, I have been reflecting on defining what I want besides a frequent regular dinner companion to commiserate with about the day, laugh at ourselves & to be joyful with:
I’m looking for an incredible 1 night experience that repeats more than 180+ nights a year, I’m looking for a year that repeats 40 times which should leave me 94, worn out & ready to expire, but since I plan on living to 95 . . . I’ll have to rethink this position somewhere down the line; in re-reading this I recognize I am describing the quality of an experience rather than the characteristics of a person.
end:
Lauren [LR] & Mark celebrating their 1st anniversary today & no doubt they continue, makin’ whoopee experiences at every opportunity
title:
choosing a title each morning is often easy . . . sometimes very difficult; I usually pluck a phrase from something in ‘the middle’ that captures in 2-3 words a mood, theme or point, my hope being the reader will be looking for that reference & its meaning
muser responses:
I don’t have anything figured out any better than the next person – but when readers flatter me with praise & recognition I shamelessly bask in it; it moves me when someone reports that I inspired a thought or an action that has made a difference, made a change, made things better in their life
when I make you shake your head, make you laugh or cry or touch you somewhere deeply - if I do that just once . . . then all these daily writings are worth it, worth the time, worth the effort, worth the tummy twisting that creates them.
‘We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.” – Anne Lamottt
to my 4600 shipmates, have a wonderful Sunday
Mark
342,816
