Musing

Please clarify 'cat averse'... Ha ha... When are you coming over to get a signed copy of the book and see the new office. Tomorrow?, LH

. . .

You know Mark,.... I like country music and cats .. maybe you need to relax those just a bit silly. there's always some form of compromise in a relationship or maybe adjusting is a better term. I am a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone (or maybe more than one depending on the time of life) I wish I could be there to help you out this Sunday morning. talk to you later . kisses, AI

. . .

Mark, Sandra here in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.... Loneliness! Ouch! You ripped the layers away to expose that bruise in my otherwise bountiful life! It's hard to use that word, lonely.... I usually use the word 'solitude', to mask the real feeling. Solitude seems more whole, integrated, like I am perfectly happy and content still being single post divorce four years ago. I vacillate between enjoying the freedom of singleness, and missing the connection with someone special. Sitting out on my deck this morning, sipping a strong cup of French Roast coffee, enjoying the vista of hills, lake, deer and horses grazing in the open field, I viewed an idyllic scene. Beauty in nature brings out a bittersweet mood, again, reminding me of the ache of separateness. My new landscaping I worked so hard on, is finally nearing completion, my new house, new community, new pool of various men to date, my finances secure, I'm healthy and reasonably fit; the world is my oyster! I am the envy of my married friends, who often feel stuck, yet they also say they would not want to be in my situation, of trying to find a relationship at this stage of life. Yeeeesss, it's called LONELY! Well, I know for certain, it's not for lack of trying to find someone who could be a suitable partner! In between world travels for the adventure of it, mostly alone, I've been on Match.com off and on for three years. I've had over 17,000 'hits' on my site, and get a least a hundred or more emails from interested men every month, from all over the country! Some have flown in to meet me. Some drive for hours. Some are local and we meet for the typical coffee, wine, or dinner date. I email or talk on the phone with some for weeks before we meet, only to be disappointed in person, at the lack of chemistry and spark! Some misrepresent their height, weight, number of teeth, or financial situation. Some cannot carry on an intelligent conversation. Some are married, and neglected to say that right off the bat!! Some have young dependent children and fight with their ex's; a deal breaker for me! Some are boring, self absorbed, want a trophy wife who looks good on their arm, and a woman who wears F...me high heels and mini skirts....not me!! If I think too much about the odds of casting about in the universe, and coming up with the serendipity and synchronicity of meeting someone special, I would tend to despair, especially if I based it on my experience so far! I've been re-reading an old favorite book entitled, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", by Stephen Covey, and just this morning contemplated the section on being proactive to choose our response to our life circumstances. He cites the difference between blaming circumstances, conditions, for our behavior, or...to have a conscious choice base on our values. So, once again, I set myself to choose to continue to search, to learn and listen, to be open, to meet a wide variety of men, of various ages, within my basic criteria of what I intrinsically value....I can still feel the full gamut of feelings on the journey....and loneliness is one of the most piercing emotions. I must remind myself that in my former 30 year marriage, I often felt lonely as well....So, it's not an exclusive domain of Single adults! And, I continue to grow and develop other areas of my life that bring meaning, enjoyment and fulfillment, such as physical health and exercise, business opportunities, joining the new book club with professional woman, spending time with children and grandchildren, and enjoying the discovery of being in a new community! Thanks again for your musings Mark....I'm glad I stopped to read this one today!, SW

. . .

Hi Mark: Sorry it took so long to get back to you but I have been on vacation and just returned. I have decided to stay in Yk for at least another year and have taken a new job with the GNWT. I start tomorrow. It was a difficult decision to make but I guess the bottom line is I wasn't quite ready to move again and to start over so soon after moving here. So that means I will not be moving to Calgary anytime soon, though I was there for one night of my vacation. I was traveling with my brother and family otherwise I would have let you know so we could possibly have gotten together for a coffee or drink...we actually went to Kelowna for a couple of days, then the second week in Edmonton I got my eyes done so now I don't have to wear glasses anymore and its great. Especially when it gets cold up here now I don't have to worry about my glasses steaming up......lol I do enjoy reading your musings and reading about what is happening in your life. You do indeed lead a very busy life and certainly have more options for meeting people than us poor nomads of the north.....actually there isn't anything poor about the north.....lol..I manage to keep busy and in trouble quite often......lol.... Enjoy what’s left of the weekend.........its pretty cool up here and a great afternoon to just curl up with a good book and a glass of wine. Take care, CF

. . .

What do you have against cats, women who like cats and country music? You are not only narrowing your playing field by a lot, you could be missing a future of opportunity with an engaging, intelligent, warm, loving, yet lonely woman just because she happens to have a cat and a thing for Merle Haggard., cc

. . .

Hi Mark it only seemed right to send you a huge thank you for connecting Joan and I. I have just spent the weekend in Edmonton at her home and have had the most lovely time, isnt it great when online friendships just get better in reality. She is an outstanding woman and I am so glad she is my friend and confidante. She and I are truly blessed in this unique and ongoing connection and had it not been for you our paths would never have crossed. So from me to you a Huge Hug and grateful thanks,. I head back to Vancouver today for 6 days with my sons,. then back to Scotland. Hope all is well in your world Ciao SUzy XXXXXX, SF