Sunday, June 12, 2005
Sunday June 12, 2005 Year 3, Day 84 she lives on musing
+11C, overcast, muggy, thunderstorms likely
. . .
talk grass marauding Gusta had a good time; some days I walk for the fresh air, some days for the exercise, some days just to be mindless . . . no thoughts . . . no time pressure
. . .
to stop . . to pause . . to change direction . . incredibly serious things to think about; but I wonder if we make the best choices about what to stop, when to hesitate & when to pursue a new direction is when we have an impulse, an instinct, a sense in our belly that ‘at that very moment’ the time is now
. . .
“Of any stopping place in life, it is good to ask whether it will be a good place from which to go on as well as a good place to remain. ” - Mary Catherine Bateson
“ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein
. . .
my dad & I tripped over to Home Depot to get some paint for his wall repair . . . coffee & chat while we waited was great . . . we should go paint shopping more often
. . .
interesting how much I value time with my dad – yet continue to be so ambivalent about my mother – the more time passes I admit to ‘no growth’ in terms of appreciation or reverence – just a better appreciation of my dad’s happier disposition . . & mine too . .
. . .
82 years ago today Augusta Arlena Lein, the woman who gave me life, was born
. . .
6 years now since she died, yet when I see June 12 on a calendar, it is hard not be taken backward in my life – so many memories
. . .
my mother’s birthday was always a challenge; it was just a few weeks after mothers day – the challenge to find an apropos gift & card & the challenge to write words that told truth & did not make me gag was often too much to muster twice in such a short gap of time, so I usually skipped the card, bought a plant & paid a short visit
. . .
was hers a wasted life ?
. . .
legacy of joyousness it was not !
. . .
maybe that was the lesson & the value of her life, to teach us - to teach me , how to live a more purposeful & loving life
. . .
we can all use some angst rolling around in our bellies I suppose – she is neither cross to bear nor any kind of memory of grace
. . .
but it seems she lives on
. . .
c’mon Gusta, lets make breakfast
. . .
Mark
343,760
. . .
talk grass marauding Gusta had a good time; some days I walk for the fresh air, some days for the exercise, some days just to be mindless . . . no thoughts . . . no time pressure
. . .
to stop . . to pause . . to change direction . . incredibly serious things to think about; but I wonder if we make the best choices about what to stop, when to hesitate & when to pursue a new direction is when we have an impulse, an instinct, a sense in our belly that ‘at that very moment’ the time is now
. . .
“Of any stopping place in life, it is good to ask whether it will be a good place from which to go on as well as a good place to remain. ” - Mary Catherine Bateson
“ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein
. . .
my dad & I tripped over to Home Depot to get some paint for his wall repair . . . coffee & chat while we waited was great . . . we should go paint shopping more often
. . .
interesting how much I value time with my dad – yet continue to be so ambivalent about my mother – the more time passes I admit to ‘no growth’ in terms of appreciation or reverence – just a better appreciation of my dad’s happier disposition . . & mine too . .
. . .
82 years ago today Augusta Arlena Lein, the woman who gave me life, was born
. . .
6 years now since she died, yet when I see June 12 on a calendar, it is hard not be taken backward in my life – so many memories
. . .
my mother’s birthday was always a challenge; it was just a few weeks after mothers day – the challenge to find an apropos gift & card & the challenge to write words that told truth & did not make me gag was often too much to muster twice in such a short gap of time, so I usually skipped the card, bought a plant & paid a short visit
. . .
was hers a wasted life ?
. . .
legacy of joyousness it was not !
. . .
maybe that was the lesson & the value of her life, to teach us - to teach me , how to live a more purposeful & loving life
. . .
we can all use some angst rolling around in our bellies I suppose – she is neither cross to bear nor any kind of memory of grace
. . .
but it seems she lives on
. . .
c’mon Gusta, lets make breakfast
. . .
Mark
343,760
