Musing

Year 3, Day 42; athletically built blonde musing Sunday May 1, 2005 . . . -6C, cloudy, steady breeze . . warming up. . .my walk accompanied by my pup; mix of wind sprints intermingled with long stops to smell EVERYTHING; my exercise program moves up a notch – when I got back it was not just the dog who needed a nap. . . my work awaits – yesterday’s mini-vacation must end; amidst puppy distractions the weight of paper on my desk needs attention while the weight of the world on my shoulders has been lightened by much more than a 10 pound puppy. . . the PetCetera store has a bunch of my money, a farmer finished marketing this year’s littler, just like owners of my pup’s siblings I get to enjoy a new set of experiences; not as dramatic as bringing a baby home for the first time, but probably with as many changes to daily routine; behaviour clues so far are limited ‘nap, run, sniff, pee, eat, nap, run, sniff’ - naming remains a challenge – to pick one that feels right now & for the fully grown version. . .this new young woman in my life is athletically built, blonde with gorgeous brown eyes; this 8 week old puppy filled my day yesterday; we bonded, shopped, went for car rides, has several short walks – this dog is a reluctant walker & VERY avid runner. . . to retrieve:- to get back; regain- to rescue or save- to bring back again; revive or restore- to rectify the unfavorable consequences of; remedy- to recall to mind; remember- to find and carry back; fetch. . . nap’s over . . gotta run !. . . Mark343,792

May 1 Responses
Have you picked a name for the new blond in your life? Congrats on taking the plunge! When can I come to see your new lady? AW
Congratulations on the newest addition to your family, Mark. She's a cutie! And I know, because we have one too, that she'll cause you to pause (paws?), every day, to appreciate her soft golden fur, knowing brown eyes and slobbery adoration. Have fun, you two., LR
The perfect puppy - I am sure she resembles a little polar bear at the moment. I too was once the proud owner of a golden retriever. He was beautiful, but retrievers do not enjoy the heat that we have in Bermuda. I did not replace him. How hard it is to find the right name for an animal. I have a cat called Soula. It has a nice ring and is easy to call! Enjoy, Sba
If your dog is a girl she should be named Calliope, of the Greek mythology for "Muse"... you could call her Calli for short. Or you could call her Sappho. "Echo" was also a muse. If it's a boy dog, how about Linus... he was always a muser and I'm a fan of the Peanuts strip of course. My two cents, C5
Obviously I have not been reading my e-mail lately, I had no idea you were getting a dog. He is just adorable and I can't wait to meet him, it is a him right? Anyway, probably coming to Calgary Wednesday morning, are you and rover free for breakfast, or free to make me breakfast?, kk
Call the dog 'darling' and that way you'll meet lots of gals on your walk and have an excuse when they look around at you and wonder if they should call the police! NF
I loved your tribute to dogs. Being a cat person at heart I have learned that the unconditional love a dog gives is like no other love in the world. Cats give love conditionally and yet I prefer them over dogs. Does this say something about me as a person? Going for runs with my spaniel is one of the most freeing and pure experiences of my life. There is no time, no deadlines and we are free. Free to feel the sun on our faces and the wind in our hair. Gotta dash, AC
Year 3, Day 43; hard decision musing Monday May 2, 2005 . . . -2C, getting warm ! . . . sunny, clear. . . a long walk this morning – I am trying to imagine what it all looks like from a vantage point 8-10 inches off the ground; no critters in sight . . . the only way to avoid the stopping/sniffing/exploring is to run . . which is easy for dog but not so sustainable for owner; note to self . . this IS cardio . . . a weekend of dog diversion brings me to begin a new week; work piles are moderate to high, weather is warm . . golf might be possible, but first I must play a little catch-up. . . hard decisions . . . the ones we make that alter our path; hard choices . . . the ones we can only do alone; hard choices . . . the ones that really matter – whether they come in a heat beat or after heart ache – they may seem like clear choices, healthy choices, rational choices, irrational choices . . each will have their labels & collection of feelings; some will cheer, some may question, some will support, some will undermine – such is the behaviour of friends & family – but mostly the hard decisions are making a loving choice for ourselves, for no one else; putting ourselves at the front of the line to choose . . . much harder sometimes than it seems – once done it is often a feeling of release & comfort in knowing that: ‘I get to choose how I react to what is happening to me.’ – Viktor Frankl. . . dog naming dilemma continues; to choose a name right for a golden retriever female, to pick up on a behaviour, a characteristic, or something to do with history of the breed or how she looks – to get it right for a pup who snores, stops to sniff absolutely everything, LOVES to run, gnaws everything but the chew toys . . , sleeps through the night & whines when scolded, does not bark – not yet at least, has a slight reddish tinge on a gopher’s colouring; is beautiful, gentle & loves to roll in the dirt . . & sleeps more than anything else – it seems so many words/names might be appropriate . . . Snoozin ? Sniffer ? Mango ? Frankl ? Beach ? . . also thinking on Sandtrap, Bunker, Par, Bogey, Cinnamon, Workout, Dijon . . . . . stay tuned !. . . Mark343,768
May 2 Responses
Hi Mark, She's beautiful -- perhaps she's a Birdie! I've had Amelia (black Lab) with me for the past eight years and she is my flying, walking and hiking buddy. Enjoy the unconditional love provided by a dog., PF

Hey! Glad things are going so well with your new friend. I didn't get the picture yet - could you send it again? Thanks!, CK

Good Morning Mark, I continue to enjoy your morning musings. Congrat's on your new pup. I would like to suggest the name Midas for your puppy I have fond memories of a dog called Midas. Enjoy your day....., LA

Hi Mark, Liz and I acquired an athletically built female of our own some months back......ours of the boxer variety.....let me tell you that it has been some adventure.........lol. Hope you are prepared! I will send you a pic of then and now.........have a good day and enjoy your new girl., AS

There is no way I can resist throwing my $ .02 in for the "name that dog" contest. I'll suggest Snuffles, Lady B(lond) or from the sounds of her ceaseless energy Tornado., TM

Mark, life must be good if the hardest decision for you at the moment is "What to name your dog?" Bear in mind that when you get your City Licence, it will be like a Marriage Licence, and she will have your surname so whatever you choose should go well with "Kolke"...you want to avoid sounding like you have a speech impediment when you call her! Congratulations on your latest acquisition, EC

This is the first time I have responded to your musings. I have enjoyed them lots. As this comes to my work address I am often short of time to read and respond to them . But I sure do enjoy them, when I take the time to read them. In the uncertainty of naming your new dog I feel compelled to offer a couple of suggestions. We had two Black Lab dogs who were spectacular. Sadly they have both died. One last year and the other just last month. Their names were "Bella" and the other was named "Cassie" (short for Cassandra). Maybe one of these suggestions might fit., PW

I don't like any of these names, a guy a work said she looks like a Chelsea, I think Hillary would be better, kk

on the subject of names.... Clio.. muse of History always depicted with a parchment (Could that be substituted for a bone ?) have fun Mark..... she will be the LOVE of your life ! xx, IO

What about Portia - sleek, fast, with a loud engine (my kitten has this name!) Ciao, PI

How about "Nugget"......she's as precious as gold. Sure do miss Cleo, my retriever. Saw her at Easter and was astounded at how emotional I was saying goodbye..... again. You'll not regret your choice Mark., MW

Congratulations Mark on your new addition. Dogs are wonderful animals and bring into your life such joy. I have had the 'dog' experience for 8 years now and its been just amazing. Ebony was a Valentine gift (I did get to pick her out though)and I fought it all the way until I picked up this little 2 lb black furball with the biggest brown eyes, and at that minute I just knew.... and have never regretted it for a minute. And then like you it was off to the pet store and left with everything I 'thought' she needed, including a snuggle carrier. She even had a car seat for dogs that I found in the US (and she never liked). I have almost lost her twice but each time she pulled through. One time racing down the Deerfoot at 3 am to get to the 24 hr vet hospital. I have parted with thousands of $$ and have not regretted a cent spent. I couldn't even begin to pay back what she has given me. You become attached to these wonderful creatures and they becomepart of your family. As I type this Ebony is on my lap and I am stretching around to reach the keyboard (her morning snuggle). And now you have another element to add to your daily musing. I am sure everyone will enjoy the updates. Good luck with the naming process. I will add one to your list.... Belle Have a great day!! EK


Year 3, Day 44; me gusta musing Tuesday May 3, 2005 . . . -2C, clear, light breeze, sunny . . going to +17C in Calgary . . . this morning walk a semblance of normal as puppy learns route & occasionally realizes ‘objects de sniff’ were inspected yesterday; a slightly more subdued walk, little gusts of puppy speed breaking out when least expected. . . both dog & owner a little stiff from a VERY long walk / sprint workout late yesterday that involved dog diving into Fish Creek. . .interrupted by dog running, dog walking, dog bathing & dog feeding & depositing more of my money at PetCetera, occasionally some work & domestic chores, my dog naming process is over. . .what does one call a new blonde love, a rolling running furball that embodies youth, energy, love of running, insatiable curiosity yet has a soft sound, a feminine sound ? something that does not stifle adventure, curiosity or joy . . . a short name, a meaningful one; could it be about golf ? . . . or about women ? my life, my family, me ? . . yet it MUST say something important about this delightful dog’s character . . a name to last it for life. . . a gust is a brief swift wind - a burst of speed; gusta is Icelandic for speed; me gusta is Spanish for ‘ I like’; my mother’s first name was Augusta as was her mother’s – both blondes; Augusta is a golf mecca; I was born in August; googling indicates Gusta is a woman’s given name of Dutch & German origin – female version of Gustaf. . .my grandmother came to Canada from Sweden, an 18 yr. old domestic servant to a small town doctor’s family – she lived a full life & died just a month before I was born to her youngest of 5 daughters; I’ve known her only from pictures & stories of a determined hard working feisty little woman – it seems fitting to call this little [but not for long] dog in her honour. . . this dog seems to like everyone, every dog, every fencepost & every smell it meets; everybody she has met likes her too . . . . . Gusta will no doubt get shortened to Gusta-babe, Gus & Ggirl or G . . for now it will be Gusta. . .me gusta Gusta !. . . Mark343,744

May 3 Responses
Do you have a picture of Gusta? Sounds like you are enjoying your new lady. AW

From the suggestions made I thought Echo sounds cute and Calli isn't bad, and although it wasn't a suggestion but for something different, the word "Dash" has a nice ring to it, anyhow, before you name her, make sure it's the right name. I am so happy I named mine Bonnie, I can't picture her with any other name and that just popped into my head shortly after I saw her., MRK

Our "little bundle of joy" came into our lives with all the energy of a hurricane. A gift for my son's 11th birthday, long promised and much anticipated, the perfect fit for our little family- 2 energetic boys and a mom needing more exercise. We just came back from a nice long walk at the Anderson Road/ 37St. leash free area where Tommy had a delightful time playing with about 65 other great dogs. We found him through the ARF website and although we originally went to his foster home to meet his quiet little sister, Tommy fell in love with my son and picked us before we knew he was the one for us. He was supposed to be a Husky/Terrier X but has obviously skipped the Terrier part and is instead presenting as a Husky/St. Bernard X. At 3 months when we got him he was 24 lbs., is now much closer to 30 and will soon be his full weight of around 75lbs.or so. He is the light of our lives and his delight in everything seems exactly like Gusta’s. Our lives are so much fuller because of this gentle, sweet, cuddly little "lap dog". Enjoy the devotion and delight of you new puppy. , ERK

Can you bring her over one day? I like Gusta! Good name and it sounds appropriate. My kids would go crazy - I used to have a standard poodle (a big one) and he died about a year ago - he was 11 so he had a good life. My sister in the my backyard also has one (much younger) so we encourage him over with cheese. It p_ss_s my sister off because Toby likes our house better! Better food!, LH

Hi-Ho Luv: GUSTA is a terrific name...being Icelandic for speed (have you EVER seen a speedy Icelander??? Haha. I think that name would be well chosen for the blonde darlin'....take good care, MG

Gusta looks "gust-usa" which, by the way, means "cute" in Maltese. I must admit, I wasn't crazy about the name (no offence to grandma) but looking at her picture, I think it suits her, there is a sensibility in her eyes, like a saviour of lost causes, ha! ha! ha! I think you'll be in good hands, she'll take very good care of you Mark! Enjoy!, MRK

Hi Mark, I was also going to suggest Portia for your new "love" she was a highly intelligent character of Willy Shakespeare’s !!!!Enjoy, bb

Great name Mark. Soula - Gusta - a vowel at the end of an animals name seems very appropriate. Enjoy, SB

Year 3, Day 45; master planning musing Wednesday May 4, 2005 . . . +6C, mixed cloud, calm, going to +18C today !. . . glorious walk in sunshine; Gusta playing ambassador – white tail wagging for deer being a fright/flight, Gusta saw that as a welcome sign getting closer to two deer than I’ve ever done before they slipped away into the trees. . . do events shape lives . . . or lives shape events ? . . . "One man, scorned and covered with scars, still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this." - Don Quixote. . . someone out there has criss-crossed the life of my dear friend as have several people in my life; for that matter, many of you too will have had people who have come & gone through your lives. . . they keep coming back to us . . . sometimes distant physically or emotionally . . . but never far from our hearts; the comings & goings & time between contact is of no consequence – that is the thing about unconditional love – with it come the risks but also the opportunity to experience raw emotion in its purest form, to ache, to know, to be anxious for good reasons . . . to reach out not as a decision but as a loving reflex. . . ‘and the world was better for this’. . .cliché to say ‘when a door closes, a window opens’, but what about that ? . . when we are focused on a career path, a big honkin’ adventure or a big project start – and then, just when we least expect it there is a collision of events, mostly beyond our control, that align to send our thoughts, actions & ambitions in a different direction; a ying/yang thing . . . of chaos vs. being open to possibilities. . . when a series of events conspire to put is in just the right place at just the right time, what is that ? . . is it fate, karma, coincidence or a product of master planning ?. . . Krista [kk] in town; she was over for dinner last night; we had a great dinner, long talk & a hilarious time walking Gusta – confirmed without doubt this dog is pure chick magnet !. . . today’s dog report: exploration of my home & more aggressive gnawing – 4 days was all it took to bring out the playfulness . . . like my kids at 2; we need to find some pure chicks. . . Mark343,720

May 4 Responses
By the way - did you know that it is Star Wars day - May the 4th be with you!, AW

It was nice to see another muser reader mention the names I suggested as good ones, but, I think "Gusta" is perfect-- a good mix of both YOU and the dog. Absolutely perfect. You do have a "gusta!" about you, too. Myself, been dating D., and she's lovely. Not perfect, which I like. Oops, why do I mention this? Because she has two dogs, and although I'm a cat person, I love her pets, C5

OH, MY GOD. She is simply adorable. Oh, you lucky guy. You will never, ever regret getting her. Wait 'til you find out how clever she really is. We had one exactly the same when I was a teenager. Her name was Friend. We did not have to fence the yard to keep her on it. She would never go off unless one of us asked hereto. Thanks so much for the photo, and enjoy your new darling , LW

Great to hear about you getting the dog. I'm in flight [Wed. flying to Moncton] and am just catching up on a ton of as yet unopened e-mails. This really brings back some WONDERFUL MEMORIES about the Amazing Dog Loves I have been fortunate to enjoy. If you experience even 1/2 the enjoyment I had from my dogs you will be a most lucky guy. I will be back in Calgary on the 14th and will call you. Sincerest Regards, JJ

You're getting LOTS of doggy-related advice so I'll keep it short, though there are many things I could add to these three: 1) golden retriever=shedding. NEVER put away the vacuum! And be sure you acclimate Gusta to it early. You're gonna' need it. 2) get pet health insurance. Today. Not tomorrow. TODAY! 3) If your vet/groomer provides this service, ANY amount of money is worth the cost of having someone else express her glands. Have fun!, LR

With all this much ado about Gusta I thought you would appreciate some advice from Ann Landers: "Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful, RH

Year 3, Day 46; time flies musing Thursday May 5, 2005 . . . +3C, sunny, going to +21C. . . excessive volume of concrete workers, machinery & related noise interrupts otherwise quiet walk through neighborhood & woods; fresh morning air, sun on face . . difficult to best this part of any day. . . most decisions in my life have been relatively safe ones taken by average guy living comfortable life in very safe places; . . . at mid-life, rather than wondering about my own ‘what have I done with my life? . .what will the next few decades bring ?’ . . . I am regularly reminded by heart wrenching glorious stories I hear . . . reminding that life each day is what I make it, that life’s value is not measured by length – but by other dimensions. . . but, given a diagnosis: one person may get an opportunity to live longer & better due to corrective action . . . while another might live less long yet with a better sense of the road ahead – inspired to drink to the last drop the juiciest experiences & richness of life. . . inspiration comes when we see/hear of incredible vitality in people notwithstanding their grim news; we can see people exhibiting courage & joi de vivre that inspires. . . but inspires what ?. . . often these stories make me smile, reflect & say kind things; rarely does the look in the mirror that day probe deeply to say ‘what are you going to do to change your life as a result of what you have learned ?’ . . .‘to critically analyze the nature of something; diagnosis – is a scary word . . . I don’t want a diagnosis !. . . each time I feel a twitch, have a pain, get a check up . . . I don’t want a diagnosis !. . . every day there is a page of people in the paper; surely most of them had a diagnosis. . . does diagnosis mean something different than ‘every day is a presentt & we have no idea how long or well we will live’ ?. . . does the person with a diagnosis have advantage over the rest of us; their confronting the future & each day is not theoretical, not for imagining ‘if that happened to me, what would I do? . . kinda stuff’. . . if we could know our fate . . . live long in neutral, or live extraordinarily in high gear with no idea how things might turn out . . no idea of our ‘best before’ date. . . if we had the choice . . . what would it be ?. . . if we had a diagnosis . . . surely we could !. . .if we don’t have a diagnosis . . . why cannot we make choices that are as dynamic, as pure, as rooted in who we are & what matters to us most; why do we need a diagnosis to give us the freedom to be so vital, so alive, so . . . so clear ?. . .which do I choose ? . . not by words, but by actions ?. . . I choose – a little more today than yesterday – to move closer to the edge, to risk more, to taste more, to expand my horizons . . .today’s dog report: yesterday Gusta discovered the shoe lace & the passing car – both fascinate. . . tempus fugit. . . Mark343,696

May 4 Responses

Oh what a cute puppy !! The first name that popped into my brain when I saw her picture was 'Cuddles' I would love to get a dog too but I travel too much and it would not be fair to her/him. Maybe a replacement for my cat that passed away a couple of years ago would be a good idea , they are more independent and easier to leave on their own for a day or two with a cat sitter. Have fun with her ! Watch out for missing slippers !. CC

What is it about dogs? I notice your fellow musers connect with the "pet thing" pretty strongly. I never had a dog growing up, but spent the last 15 years of my life with two black labs. One died last year, the other passed recently. They both changed my life in the most subtle yet loving way. Seven years ago (in my mid 30's) I went through a divorce, a relocation, new job and other major life changes. A lot of big stress, all at once.The emotional impact of all this took its toll. The impact was hard to understand at the time. A sense of complete overwhelm; despair; grieving was sure part of it. Everything I had held close seemed to have evaporated. But what was the same were my two black labs. They seemed to understand what was going on with me better than I did. Especially "Bella". When I sat alone in my moments of sadness and despair, grieving my losses, she was there. She would come to sit beside me in my chair and then gently push her shoulder against my knee. She did this often. She was assuring me that everything would indeed be alright. With the passage of time the pain would lessen and healing could begin. You know she was right. Bella helped me realize that as painful as the experience was at the time, it was also a time of great discovery, new awakenings and new experiences I could not have imagined. It seems that through a dog's loving nature we are reminded often of what really matters. A completely priceless gift, is what they give us. With "Bella's" passing away two months ago I am left wondering how can I ever repay her for her immense love and kindness. Maybe it is supposed to be a "pay it forward" kind of thing. Where we are to share these same qualities with those around us.....??? Hmmmm.... Makes you think eh!. It seems a dog's ability to love so unconditionally is what we often need to be reminded about., PW

Hallelujah! Thank you LR - Just when I was thinking "Hold on here, there are two sides to owning a dog", you pointed out a few on the flip side. Before I say anything else, I wouldn't part with Bonnie for all the tea in China but Single Female and Puppy (Brittany) I now realize is arestrictive combo (don't know if guys would have the same problem). Guys I meet enter the "potential" category depending on whether they are dog lovers, more particularly, "Bonnie" lovers. Every-so-often, I have a "hairy" day where the pretence that the incessant hair balls underfoot are not irksome comes to an abrupt halt! Bonnie, I realized last week, still has the occasional "chewy" day, I thought they were behind us; after all she turned 2 in Jan, till I saw the missing front part of my running shoe that is. Having said that, I'll leave you with this:
She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog,You are her life, her love, her leader.
She will be yours, faithful and true.To the last beat of her heart.
You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion.
Anonymous.
, MRK

Year 3, Day 47; outstretched hand musing Friday May 6, 2005 . . . +10C, overcast, calm. . . lots of people & dogs about provided ample dog sniffing opportunities . . my legs sluggish this morning. . . I am distracted this morning, my head full of yesterday stuff, weekend stuff & late night conversation residue stuff. . . "Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be."-William Hazlitt. . . the outstretched hand; we all have one . . . we use it to reach out to someone. . . the outstretched hand of someone reaching out to us. . . we do this both to offer or to get help, to offer or to receive a connection; from handshake to handup to handout; from firmly gripping someone . . . to a gentle finger tip to fingertip flirtation. . . the outstretched hand . . the connection with someone who matters lots already . .or who might in time; however firm or tenuous it may be a phone call, a chance meeting resulting in conversation, sometimes connecting as if it might be the last time . . the end of something . . or a beginning as yet unexplored. . . are we all strategists ?. . . I write about & talk about chance – but when push comes to shove, do I really embrace chance, am I really open to opportunities or do I strategize my way; using pre-determined criteria to determine which path I will pursue, what ideas I will embrace . . who I will let into my life vis-à-vis who I will not ? . . which opportunity or idea I will make space for in my mind vs. those I discard or ignore. . . my mind filled with personal adventure planning, some work details, a business plan percolating; jumbled competing thoughts . . . I see myself walking beach in - blustery breeze - looking out to dark swirling clouds – my face wet, my skin vital & alive – my pace quickens. . . poof ! . . reality returns . . the needs of my clients await; have a great weekend. . . today’s dog report: Gusta seems to be training her owner well [maybe 3 long walks/day will help him get back into clothes the cleaners shrunk] while expansion of her ‘smelling & chewing’ everything she sees for the first time continuesMark343,672

May 6 Responses
Congratulations on the new addition. I didn't receive the photo of Gusta but I'm sure, considering her breed, that she is adorable. My husband and I were "dog people" for years -- had 3 at one point -- until a very lonely and cold, but bold and confident, cat showed up on our doorstep one cold October day 20 years ago as a stray. I started to feed her almost immediately and eventually, while my husband and the dog were away on a trip to the farm, she worked her way into the house. She ruled our doberman/shephard like she was 100 times her size but she was heartbroken when he died. 18 years later -- 2 years ago -- I had to put her down. I never regretted a single day of having her. I finally felt ready to visit the SPCA just before Christmas -- our home very much needed a pet. "Abby" a 5 year old stray has already taken over our house as master and we love it. Now that I work from home, it is wonderful to have a pet who distracts me now again and I'm sure it's good for her as well., cc

Retreivers - darling dogs.. will eat everything from light bulbs to underwear. You will be well trained indeed. "Life is too important, to be taken seriously!" -Wilde , SM

Mark, it started as a reply to musings, but had a life of its own...I thought I would share it with you anyway. My dog story:
Dixie arrived in a cardboard box with six brothers and sisters. My lover noticed the owner with the mother and box of pups and said, "Go see the lady in the coffee shop - those are good looking dogs." The seven siblings spilled out of the box onto the pavement, roly poly, pell mell. Thanks to The Pokey Little Puppy, I can think of really no other way to describe a tumble of puppies, a poke of tails and flash of damp pink bellies and bright button eyes. We honed in on each other immediately, steady blips of love on each other's radar screen right from the start.

She is a shorthaired brindled lab mutt, with a whopper of a tail that thumps on the floor with a Morse 'I love you' when she is too tired to get up, but she knows you need to hear the dots and dashes; a tail that is a rudder when she swims, holding her straight and true as she paddles sleek as an otter through the big waves; a tail that her German shorthair friend Phoebe can grab onto when they play the circle game; a coffee table wine glass smashing tail that shows up even when uninvited for cocktails - she knows there's nothing quite like a canapé or two with a few of our friends.

We are a pair. When I was hurt in an accident she hardly left the side of the bed. Visitors would have to step over her to see me. She rides shotgun. We used to be the Dixie Chicks when we lived near the forested mountains. But now we live in a condo in a forest of pavement and buildings, and we are the Uptown Girls.

I have been accused by my family of living in an imaginary dog world, bestowing the character traits and thoughts and emotional capacity of a human being upon a 75 lb. mutt who is basically a stomach with a tail. I didn't have too much company in this fantasy landscape until I read Pam Houston’s Sight Hound. It is a story told through 12 voices, of which two are dogs, Dante and Rose.

Here is a little of what Dante has to say: "There are three principles to remember if you are to teach a human being anything, and they are consistency, consistency, consistency. They are such fragile creatures to begin with, with poor eyes, poorer hearing, and no sense of smell left to speak of, it's no wonder they are made of fear. Some centuries ago they moved inside and with that move went nine-tenths of their intuition. It is almost unmerciful to make them live so long when they spend so much of their lives in pain."

For Houston, there is no random pairing of dog and human; each dog is sent to teach us what we need to learn at the time. In the book, Dante was sent to teach Rae that it's okay to be loved; Rose, the younger, "next" dog, was sent to teach Rae how to play.

I have been wondering since I read Sight Hound what Dixie was sent to teach me. I think I am getting it. We are about to fight a fearful, painful human battle along with someone we both wag our tail for.

She was sent to make me brave., KT

I feel left out. As yet you haven't leered out from behind the bushes and murmured "Hello little girl. Wanna see my puppy?" to me. It's about time I was collared into the online petting session., SK

Mark, 'love the daily read of your musings (not sure how I ended up on the subscriber list but I'm glad I did) and your weekly Facility Calgary newsletter. I find both to be amazingly informative as well as easy and fun to read. I also subscribe to the Calgary Outdoor Club e-mails announcing upcoming events. 'Am forwarding the one below, as it might be of interest to you now that you have a puppy. I, too, would love to see a photo of Gusta, if that's possible. Tks! Best regards, KJR

Year 3, Day 48; ‘in or out’ musing Saturday May 7, 2005 . . . +7C, overcast, predicted ‘chance of showers’ have arrived. . . accompanied by very dirty pup fresh, wet, muddy & marvelous – this path, this source of my solitude takes on new vistas to inspect every fallen tree, sprig of this or that & droppings of any critter or an 8yr old Labrador named Holly towing owner Kate – tranquility interrupted by playful wet pup shamelessly going flat out . . never in neutral. . . dust does not fly; time crawls as rain slows rush about day pace. . . new connections lately – both near & far – intrigue a little . . .. . . I must have left a door open at some point, because people keep coming into my life in numbers to great to ignore; while some are shown the door swiftly, invited not to return, those are few . . . “in or out; be in my life or get out of my life & get on with yours” words I’ve not said to anyone directly yet surely that message comes through in some not so subtle ways; it seems I attract few people where feelings are neutral; or maybe I just ignore those & they go away . . . . . KT entered, stayed, took up residence in my heart as incredible friend, close friend, confidante, mentor & scribe coach – someone who might never have crossed my path – but did & does. . . KT rarely responds to musings preferring instead to comment in our daily chats; when she writes [see below], she writes so profoundly, powerfully . . .dog report: JS & I walked Gusta through Kensington last evening including a stop @ the Heartland Café; in space of an hour Gusta proved a 100 times over she likes being petted by any stranger - chick magnet indeed Mark343,648
May 7 Responses

What an interesting format! Thank you for the window at large. My brother would indeed enjoy these to show him an avenue with literary platform already installed. Would you please include him on your list of teeming masses? I was struck by the endnote KT sent as Pam Houston has been one of my favorite authors of all time. Hers (Waltzing the Cat) was the only book I had finished and closed the cover on that compelled me to open it back up to page one and begin again. An Idaho river guide, kayaker, photographer and general adventure-blunderer that spoke right to my heart and life and love. I dropped everything to hear her read when last she was in Spokane. Don't miss her yourself, if ever the chance brushes by. Clenched clouds today, stubbornly refusing me rain. But the lilacs' wild abandon sensually rewards all dog walkers braving the threatening skies. The drifts of pink petals downtown turned into foolish play for Jack and I as we were waiting for a light., MD

I have to tell you that I wasn't very happy about being included in your distribution of Musing but...now I look forward to receiving it each day. I got a new puppy in February and can relate to much of what you say. She is now almost 5 months old and over 50 lbs. She is going to be a big girl. Mom is Great Pyrenees and Dad is white Lab. Enjoy your new blonde!, CL


Year 3, Day 49; double cheese musing Sunday May 8, 2005 . . . +6C, fog burned off to reveal overcast sky. . . brisk exercise, long dog walk without encounters –neighborhood quiet, shhh . . . mothers sleeping in . . . Mothers Day & 60th anniversary of Victory in Europe - double icon day. . . regardless of our own experiences, regardless of whether we have direct connection to great mothers or great soldiers this is the day we MUST all salute these icons, pay homage to their incredible sacrifices made to keep us safe & free. . .George Bush audaciously reflects on carving up Europe 60 yrs. ago as worst blunder in modern history; forgetting Vietnam & Iraq I guess he meant worst blunder before he was born. . .society reveres war veterans & moms – appointing 1 day each year to remember moms & several to remember soldiers though things like VE day are celebrated wildly only every decade – this will be the last I suppose as 10 years from now the youngest surviving veterans will be 88, most will be long gone. . . why do we revere people by class ?. . .why not just offer praise & distinction for those who excelled, who gave their lives, their youth, their promise . . so that we could live in freedom, live dynamic lives. . . mothers & soldiers have much in common; some gave their lives to it & for it – others just showed up; some made incredible sacrifices . . . others just showed up. . .whether they were over-the-top fantastic . . or just showed up, they deserve our remembrance & respect – many deserve much more . . . to those mothers revered by their children – best wishes to you all; to those mothers who make this the toughest day of the year for your children – recognize that & ask your kids how to best fix it – you will all be winners if you do. . . my mother was one who showed up & for that she deserves remembrance. . . I remember growing up seeing other kids interact with their mothers; which fuelled my early childhood belief I was adopted – not true of course, but it helped me rationalize at the time; it seems unkind to speak unkindly of someone who gave me life; but the truth is I do – I never enjoyed mothers day time spent & the obligatory gift; the past 6 yrs without my mother has lifted that discomfort . . . while others are brunching with or phoning mom . . I reflect on my role as a parent & as a son. . . I have a very different relationship with my dad – the other party who gave me life; he served on this side of the Atlantic where he specialized in fixing airplanes, playing bridge & coming home safely; yesterday I took him for lunch; double cheese burgers @ Peters – still the best burgers in Canada – still the best dad. . .dog report: Gusta likes her NEW old shoe chew toy [pre-emptive move on my part] & hangin’ out with me on a Saturday night – maybe I’ll find a warm babe with a hot pooch so we can double ?. . .Mark343,624

May 8 Responses

Catching up on old musings. I got a chuckle out of your identification with "a one-eyed dog in a meet market" - the pun was subtle but clear!, KK

Mark, KT has my vote for muser guest spot anytime. Her short story will be a long memory for me., RH

Year 3, Day 50 ; past is past musing Monday May 8, 2005 . . . +8C, overcast, calm. . . morning walk with dog in tow [or is that dog walking with me in tow?] was a mix of strolling & wind sprints – invigorating – we were out & back before the neighborhood got busy; all things worth smelling were investigated. . . I will spend the rest of my life, 343,600 hours, in the future. . . the future needs to be & remain my focus. . . not sure where my journey will take me . . but I want to know what is around the next corner. . . only thoughts, decisions & actions about the future have value to me – there is nothing in the past I can change – only my view of it; the future is full of change & I am not going to let younger people have all the fun !. . . mistakes, errors, things mislaid, things that did not work the first time . . . these are the raw material we work with . . .. . . I was reflecting over the weekend about the times that have been the most fun, the most rewarding, the most effective . . . they have been when I have been scrambling, inventing, changing, creating . . new ideas, new enterprises, new relationships, new ventures – many of which did not seem risky at the time but now, in the rear view mirror, they could look too risky; I need to return to that daring-do attitude . . I know I’ve not lost it, it must be around here somewhere . . . I must have mislaid it somewhere. . .psst . . past is past . . . pass it on. . . Mark343,600

May 9 Responses
I really enjoyed your comments this morning, Mark. Reminds me of the worn-out but still poignant saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"., BM

A book you may enjoy (or not). The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsh (author of Conversations with God). I bought it for my son, but it was for me. Gave me peace as I remember my Dad. I believe that we choose our parents, and it's quite often for the lessons we receive. Even the tough lessons are gifts too. At least that's the experience I choose , VG

ahh the past yes, sometimes I believe we focus too much on the past and forget to look ahead. I believe that what is done is done and if you learnt something great. Look forward and take the leap! Although it is into the unknown, it will eventually happen anyway right!, DB

I think many people project their past on their future and therefore are living into the known, safe and comfortable expectation they have cultivated. Fears, planned dramas, realized catastrophes ... all are less frightening than living wholly true to the dreams and inspirations that come in those waking moments of truly creating your own destiny. Oh sure, we can learn from our mistakes, but lets not keep them souring on our tongue, playing and worrying them smooth and predictable, like a chip on a tooth. The inspired life begins with the dream and is trained there. All steps (mired and winged) are towards that goal. The soul-soaring-elation from knowing YOU choose your way to the gut-liquefying terror of making our way without a familiar path to go by .. cut free and flapping your heart out. Sometimes only the memory of surety remains of my resolve. Occasionally I stop and reassess-is this still for me? If not, then what is? Until I hear a clarion call to direct me another way, I'll forge on and know my confidence is not far behind, just stopped for sustenance. I use doubt as my signal to reconnect with source and reaffirm faith in myself. What's the worst that can happen? We fail??? Days I didn't fall on the slopes were days I knew I wasn't pushing my limits and learning more. , MD
Year 3, Day 51 ; everyone teaches musing Tuesday May 10, 2005 . . . +6C, hard rain now turned to wet snow, light breeze. . . Gusta & I walked – actually, more of a sprint through muddy water in the neighborhood & brief entry in the park & out again in chilly rain . . . showering with puppy @ 7:30 AM - not how I want to start every day, but it did warm us up !. . . everyone I touch . . everyone who touches me; each is a teacher; people come into my life to show me something – many an important lesson; at the time I have no clue what it might be or even that there is a lesson; then one day in some new experience I see that lesson, benefit from that subtle instruction & appreciate my teacher . . . they teach me more indirectly than directly – they show me examples of things I might do differently, show me examples of things I do not want to do . . . but these are the little things; living with dignity, grace & integrity are the big ones . . they cross all boundaries; being kind & caring is universal. . . my gripe du jour: someone with tons of brains & professional capability to help others acts like donkey in own life . . . somewhat like a tune I’ve seen/heard played before; psychologist & counseling types are often gifted therapists when it comes to helping others, but when their personal lives get involved [or when I consider getting involved with one of that type] I find they are bereft of understanding how people feel about them & vice/versa . . . though verbose & articulate they may be, often totally out of touch & self absorbed – not to generalize unfairly here; I don’t think this is an appropriate indictment for 100% of these folks . . surely it is a small number like 99.5% . . NEXT !. . . we like & need all the same things – to be praised, bathed & wrapped in warm towels, fed, praise, to be played with, praise, to be walked, praise, bowels that work & a quiet place to pee, praise, a good rub down, praise, treats, praise . . . until our handlers are fully trained - aren’t we all like puppies?. . . "Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." - Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.. . . rainy days are great !. . . Mark343,576

May 10 Responses
A quote of Cary Mullen, Olympic Ski Champion who set a downhill speed record of 147km/hour in a two mile race against time, on rough ice: "Am I on track, or off track...?" This question posed frequently can help me to assess direction and stay on track.... LK

I haven't seen a picture of Gusta but have no doubt she's drop-dead gorgeous(you have such good taste). I see that many musers picked up on the multiplemeanings of her name - did you know that in Spanish it refers to somethingyou like or enjoy (i.e. she pleases you), KK

Nice job with your stereotyping on those in the helping professions. I wonder how you would like the same generalized statements in relation to your field [realtors]?? I associate people who stereotype as people who possess unrefined and unenlightened thought processes. Haven't you ever heard of individual differences?? You could use some enlightening in your thinking and generalizations, MM

que bonita - me gusta mucho!, KK

Weather's warm and sunny here in Vancouver and the rainy days are far and few since I've been back, plus sounds like you had a nice trip to Cpt. Cook's old Sandwich Islands. Enjoy your musings, you should put out a weekly tab page something like that pathetic one page morning thing you can find around Calgary but at least yours would be worth reading. Just sell a few ads to pay for thr printing and you're in business. Back in Vancouver and loving every minute, DB

There is song, and a saying. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, Today is a gift that why they call it the present. Concentrate on today, it is truly a gift. MP


Year 3, Day 52 Wednesday que bonita musing May 11, 2005. . . +4C . . .going to +17, brilliant blue, calm. . . amazing what good hard rain [+ yesterday’s bit of snow] + a little sunshine does to advance greening up everything on my path; the walk a perfect start to the day on heels of a toasted bagel w/smoked salmon cream cheese & fresh coffee . . . . . . some days writing musings is easy as keys almost move on their own; this is not one of those days – it comes more slowly, precious lessons being offered. . .an ordinary day yesterday with 1 key meeting; the day brought unexpected calls, new business, a solution to a problem, some great brainstorming a new venture with one of my oldest friends GL [not that he is so old, just that I’ve known him a very long time] – so great to see burgeoning success in something he loves for someone who has come so far in the last 16 yrs from & through challenges most of us could not think to bear. . . it brought news of yet another muser dealing with breast cancer. . . other news has me in awe of calm, clear, courageous strength of a friend – not my story to tell – but an inspirational lesson in loving . . . the more I think of mid life . . if that is the right description of approaching 54 with a driver in my hand . . . with so much opportunity ahead, the more I realize that not everyone will realize that . . . the more I want to golf & play with my dog & drink in all the goodness around me & share time with my dad & my kids. . . may this day carry on as it started; 2 unexpected delightful emails . . 1 of which was from an ebullient daughter; 2 calls while walking - a call from a client/friend/muser + 1 from someone referring a new client . . . what a great start. . . dog report: she is loving ‘her’ shoe & everything else chewable – becoming more playful every day . . . owner is becoming more disciplined every day. . .to KW in Calgary . . happy birthday; to LM in Corona . . get well soon. . . . . . Mark343,576

May 11 Responses
Hey "musing" - can you kindly add XXXXXXXX to your daily musings? XXXX@XXX.ca He needs to hear/read some of your stuff. Thanks!, MC

Something I learned years ago to think about in the morning. Today is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I please. I can use it for good or I can waste it but what I do today must be important, for I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever; leaving in it's place, that which I have traded for it. And I want that to be good, not evil; gain, not loss; success, not failure, so that I will not regret the price I paid for it. a little musing from the 'chuck!. . ., WM

Ouch! MM's lash was quick and to the point. Don't you just hate it when someone is there for you to hold up the mirror on grand generalizations? I do, but don't...I've asked for timely and direct guidance from the divine to help me when I indulge so, and have welcomed their sometimes uncomfortable visits. We like to call those moments "AFGO's"...or Another Frigging Growth Opportunity., MD

Thanks for the good wishes. One thing this experience has taught me is that I have many people who care about me....I'm a lucky woman, LM

Have you ever written a book or articles? Are the musings strictly for yourself or do you plan to get them published? I write all the time and yet I lack the discipline on writing essays, short stories or novels. I was just wondering how you find your focus. Again it's back to the focus musing. I start writing about a topic and then veer off into nonsensical ramblings. I have many ideas on what to write I just have to be disciplined. Any suggestions would be appreciated. AC


Year 3, Day 53 - 18 module musing Thursday May 12, 2005 . . . +6C, clear, going to +20C, a perfect golf day. . . glorious sunrise - very long walk produced filthy dog & invigorated owner – a beautiful day. . . returning home, Gusta & owner showered & fed; musing began, only to be interrupted by 3very long calls in succession which starts a frenetic morning. . . as I prepare for a course given in 18 modules this afternoon . . . on days when I do not have a meeting or golf game to tear me away, the pile on my desk each day looms large; but . . . put a meeting that excites or a golf game on my calendar, the speed with which I can spin through that pile to isolate the ‘must do before I go’ things from the ‘that can wait till tomorrow’ . . or ‘just put that in tomorrow’s pile’, knowing full well it will be in tomorrow’s pile for months . . . . . . if I get better at listing to my belly about what is truly important I suspect I will work on fewer files per day, be more effective AND play more golf . . . just as my knowledge of people & things improves as I become a better listener, some of this listening needs to begin at home – listening better to what my own instincts – to better study the things I do zealously vs. the things I procrastinate to better understand my own drivers . . . .but . . . . what happens if analysis proves I really am better suited to & have passion for things other than what I have been thinking all along ?. . . too often I think, I find myself saying the same words . . giving the same spin to what I do & why without stopping to examine whether I still feel that way about a particular issue, thing, person, group or activity – I’ve deep sixed a few things recently which lifted a load . . . maybe I should ditch some more. . . I am out of the office this afternoon on an 18 module course in outdoor survival !. . . life IS good. . .Mark343,504

May 12 Responses

"as I prepare for a course given in 18 modules this afternoon" -- Mark, you crack me up. MD? I like AFGO - Another FABULOUS Growing Opportunity. :-) AC? Get a blog and ramble all you want. (http://www.blogger.com) Then get a ghost writer or virtual assistant with writing skills to come in and edit it into the beauful creation it is. (Kinda like bringing a mop of hair into a hairdresser.) It's all about having fun creating. There really ARE no rules. ;-) Dream BIG!, VG

Question: Today was great but exhausting. Did I touch another life today? Yes. For every one life you touch you touch 100. Wow. Did I make this world a better place today because I was here? Yes. In so many small ways but the goodness of people sometimes overwhelms me. Evaluation day. Yes Yes Yes, been a long time since I could say that., MF

Lucky!!! My "Emergency Preparedness" Class tomorrow sounds like it will mostly concern avoiding lawsuits involving patient information and charting entries. Survival of sorts. The body's "fight or flight" system works as good now as before when it was genetically designed to avoid being prey, but these days the saber toothed tigers seem to come in the form of checkbooks unbalanced, schedules too full, traffic too loud....very passive tigers and our adrenaline system is all revved up with no place to go. Attended a wedding tonight with bagpipe fanfare. We have two gigs Saturday and my chemistry final is Tuesday. I guess I'm whining a bit. Time to walk the pooch., MD

Year 3, Day 54 - 2 ½ putt musing Friday May 13, 2005 . . . +6C, sunny, light breeze . . . trying vainly to keep her out of tall wet grass & mud I find controlling Gusta’s enthusiasm & curiosity an exercise in futility – leisurely morning walks now a series of sprints interrupted by short recovery periods – no doubt good for my heart & waste-line – exhilarating. . . thanks Brad for a great 5 hour afternoon outdoor golf meeting; he shot an 83, I shot 92 – which if you do the math is just a ½ stroke a hole difference . . . now, if I can just find a way to 2 ½ putt each green . . . brainstorming with a few co-conspirators on new business model ideas for an internet business venture - clearing cobwebs to freely think about things – not ‘outside the box’ but as if there was no box – challenging & liberating . . . to attempt thinking child-like about things without regard to whether they are possible, practical, profitable, feasible – maybe the freedom of play I see in this retriever inspire golden ideas ?. . . "The greatest masterpieces were once only pigments on a palette." – Henry Hoskins. . . dog/owner training report: wakes, stretches, goes to bathroom, rests, walks/runs for an hour, eats, drinks, sleeps – repeat every 4 hours . .. now if I can just get Gusta onto my schedule I have a chance . . . she seems to want to stay with a 3 hour rotation . . . Mark343,480

May 13 Responses
I really enjoyed the afternoon yesterday.....thanks again. Any of the golf jokes new to you?, BR

Thanks for the email Mark I'm not sure how I would have gotten on your musing list,
but it's an interesting concept. I think I'd like to do some musings of my own sometime.
What kind of work do you do- I'm assuming self employment based on your musings? Is this correct?, KH

Don't try too hard to get Gusta onto a 4-hour schedule just yet. She is still quite young and probably hasn't the muscles to hold it for 4 hours. A puppy's digestive system is pretty darn direct -- in one end and out the other., LJPS

Re your putting, Sam Snead improved my putting by saying he 'its & 'arks meaning he hit the ball & listened for it to go into the cup before looking !!!! it really does work, try it I will be interested to see if it works for you ,keep me posted. Regards bb

Year 3, Day 55 - kk musing Saturday May 14, 2005 . . . +5C, dead calm, clear . . . going to 22 today. . . incredibly quiet; the world is relaxed & so am I as we took a short early walk this morning; Gusta & I are departing shortly for Lethbridge to help Krista [kk] with her move. . . my mood relaxed, peaceful, reflective. . . reflecting on a 25 years relationship with my daughter Krista; a unique character in my life & memories of yellow boots, strawberries & a strong independent/stubborn streak that has been there from the beginning as has been an incredible sense of humour; we’ve been through a lot of precious moments, some dramatic ones & some agonizing ones. . . nothing is scarier than being at a hospital with a 2 yr old than to have doctors say they have no idea what is wrong with your child who is obviously sick & convulsing sporadically – fear, tests, fear, days, tests, nights, fear . . . then the diagnosis of asthma, medication & return of my little girl’s smile & mischief made it all worth the hellish ride; the 2 or 3 AM hospital trips soon abated and asthma became a condition to be managed – and in time an aggressive tireless athlete emerged. . . some might say that some of these traits were environmental or inherited; but this child was as unique & different from her parents as her sister was & is . . . I have the privilege of helping her move this weekend – as she embarks on some significant changes in her life . . . with an interesting array of options in front of her . . . gotta run, gotta fetch & carry, gotta go, c’mon Gusta . . lets go play with Krista !. . . Mark343,456

May 14 Responses



Year 3, Day 56 - adventure or nothing at all musing Sunday May 15, 2005 . . . +17C, sunny, light breeze. . . to make up for yesterday & to consume some pent up puppy energy, Gusta & I did a VERY long walk - peaceful, a few bikers & dog walkers about - serenity disturbed only by snifferpooch . . .‘Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all. ‘ - Helen Keller. . . to take risks, to pursue adventures, to go boldly [or timidly] in new directions is easy to understand in hindsight as we look at things we’ve done – looking back sometimes the really risky things were ones I thought nothing of at the time, while ones I agonized over were often ‘prudent person thinks it through & reaches obvious conclusion’ . . . . . . taking new steps, changing directions, venturing over the edge . . callenges us all, whatever our age. . . my Lethbridge trip to help Krista move was tons of fun; schlepping ½ a duplex of personal belongings & furniture to fit into a 4 plex unit shared with 2 others is a challenge that will no doubt force some discarding of a few things – a great visit . . . a great lunch . . a great outing for the dog & a beautiful day for a drive in the country; great to see my baby welcomes help but has the ‘heavy lifting’ charting the course of her life well in hand . . .what advice to give ? . . . what can I do/offer which is better than biting my tongue ?; she’s doing great without my help, without my intervention, without any pushing this delightful young woman is doing it ‘her way’ . . . her way !. . . Mark343,432

May 15 Responses

My stomach and head were in knots, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I’m glad I didn't chicken out. This is my daring adventure for now, but whatever the venture, they should be pursued, reached for. The personal fulfillment ones receives will ultimately invigorate others to action., DL

Year 3, Day 57- write for me musing Monday May 16, 2005 . . . +10C, light cloud, breezy, BIG arch in the west. . . 2 deer in silhouette explore topsoil mountain to the south; these morning walk & dog run entertainment cheer me, get me going - no matter how tired I am it has hard not to belly laugh seeing a dog dive headlong skidding through the clover, falling on her side & sprinting off again without losing momentum. . . not sure if I should take to heart or discard some recent comments; but certainly food for thoughts; I am re-thinking the concept of musings a little . . . . . .OK, that’s over . . back to work. . .not that creative juices cease to flow - the value for me is less in reaching many as it is in reaching few – a few who may value a kernel of what I say, an experience they can relate to, a sliver of someone’s comment, a glimpse of how things might be if they could only be a little different. . . the more I age the less I feel I know – a world of knowledge & capabilities increases at a rate impossible to catch much less appreciate the enormity of it – yet we agonize most over people issues that seem to be as old as times . . like a difficult relationship with a close family member . . . what does it take to make things a little different ? not much, but then why do so many people resist the little things that might make a difference; how hard is it to swallow a tablespoon of pride, ½ pint of guilt or a pinch of vanity? . . . it only takes a moment to smile, a moment to say ‘please, let me LISTEN to you this time’, or ‘though we don’t share the same view on this subject, I love you and support your decision’ ? . . . I spent time this weekend with my younger daughter, chatted with her sister & their mother; interesting how members of a family can have very different perspectives on exactly the same thing – different views on what constitutes communication & a good relationship reminds me why I am no longer married to their mother !. . . I know the path I am on is right; not right for anyone else & certainly not righteous . . but right for me . . write for me . .. . . dog report: after morning walks Gusta loves curling up to sleep at my feet while I work at my desk – she is learning chair wheels do not roll well over paws & ears . . . Mark343,408